Zelda The Fish: Chapter Two

Show Notes

Zelda, finds herself confronted by two, strange birds who see things very differently from our heroic, little fish and the situation is not helped by the fact that these birds are very, very hungry.

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Two birds were perched upon a branch above the river. Neither of them had a name, for they were free birds and as everybody knows, free birds have no names as they have no owners to give them. Free birds also have no idea what types of birds they are as they have no one to tell them and birds don’t often read books. But for the sake of you and I and the telling of this story, one was an Osprey and one was a sparrow.
“What’s this I see?” Said the Osprey, his eyes focussed on the waters below. “Is that lunch coming towards me?”
“I think it might be a floating sandwich” Said the sparrow, trying to get a look. “I don’t know if I like soggy sandwiches though.”
“No, you dolt. It’s a fish, innit!” Replied the Osprey, grumpily. The Osprey was always grumpy and the sparrow often wondered what made him so. “I don’t like sandwiches though. In fact, now that I think about it, I don’t even know what a sandwich is.”
“Isn’t it one of those things that rides around on broomsticks?”
“No. That’s just a Witch.” The Osprey replied.
“Then maybe a sandwich is a witch that’s gone to the beach.”
“Excuse me,” Said Zelda politely, popping her head out from the water. “But I was wondering if I was heading in the right direction to find more thoughts?”
“Thoughts?” Screeched the Osprey. “What the bleedin’ ‘eck is a thought when it’s at home?”
“Oh thoughts are the most wonderful, splendiferous things in the world!” Exclaimed Zelda. “They fly and pop in your head and they can completely change a storm into a sun shower!”
“Have they anything to do with sandwiches?” Asked the Sparrow.
“Oh shut up.” Said the Osprey. “I’m hungry and I’m going to eat that thing for my lunch!”
Zelda put her little fins on her side and screwed her face up all serious like.
“You will not be eating me, no you will NOT!” She said sternly. “I am a fish, and I have travelled too far and had too many thoughts to be eaten by the likes of you!”
“Well… how many thoughts have you had?” Asked the sparrow.
“Um… One.” Stated Zelda proudly.
“Well, that’s not many!” Snorted the Osprey.
“Well it’s one more than you’ve ever had. Clearly!” Zelda responded snootily. “I am different to all the other fish because I swim upstream! And I am NOT a salmon! I choose to swim upstream!”
"Why that's silly!" Hooted the Osprey, "Us birds do not fly against the currents! We fly where the winds will take us, cast our wings upon its breath and allow it to carry us where it will."
"Then you are very silly creatures indeed!" Replied Zelda, ducking her head back beneath the water and continuing along her way, "Allowing yourselves to be forced this way and that by something as weak willed as the wind. That is not the life for me."
And in a moment, she was gone.
“What just happened?” Asked the Osprey, confused.
“I think that fish was a lot smarter than us.” Replied the sparrow.
“Well, why isn’t that fish in my belly?” The Osprey asked of no one in particular.
“I don’t know.” Replied the Sparrow. “But it’s probably something to do with sandwiches.”