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The stories from the places where people gather.
Dana Kadwell (00:00)
Hello and we are back. I am so excited to be back on the podcast with all of you. took a little break to do some traveling, spend time with the kiddos. it has been an insane summer. I don't think I really actually expected it to be so busy, but it was. and I am excited to give you a little update where I'm at, to talk about really the last, I guess, six months of my life, which has just been
An insane and incredible whirlwind. so yeah, buckle up, friends. It's gonna be a good one. okay, so where to start? Well, let's just start where I left off. So the last time you really heard from me was when I announced that the Bradford had sold. Now, you probably could gather and guess that I had recorded that before the Bradford actually had sold. So it was about a month before I had made that recording. and
It just happened to have lined up with the the closing lined up to a time when I was gonna be out of the country in Greece. So I think I mentioned this in the podcast before, but the year the summer before when everything was kind of really hitting its height, max, really tough. I mean and Sam had talked about going to Greece with the kids for Henry's eighth grade trip and, you know, we had gone back and forth about it and I and we were like, Is this responsible? Like we're about to
go through this whole thing and we knew like financially, you know, it would be a little bit it would be expensive. It's not like the cheapest place to go to in the world. And I remember very distinctly we were walking the dogs. It was May of twenty twenty five and I told him I was like, I have to have something to look forward to. Like, let's just do it. We'll we've been saving the money for it and we'll like save, you know, we can make some installments on it 'cause we ended up doing a cruise. And so we made the decision
bit the bullet and bought the tickets and and bought them for spring break for the kids. And so at that point, you know, we hadn't quite decided fully that we were selling, but I could tell that that was the path we were going on. So when we finally made the decision to sell and everything kind of went to motion, the thought was that it was gonna happen at the end of twenty twenty five. Obviously we all know that didn't happen and it went into January, went into February, and at no point did I ever consider that
I would be up against the wire of not being able to sign papers because I was gonna be in Greece. Like I never thought that was even a thought in my mind. Like it just didn't even cross my mind that that would be an issue. and so it was like I was in DC with Henry actually on his eighth grade trip in in DC. And there was like one more stall here, there, and I called my lawyer and I was like, under no circumstances
Am I gonna come back from this vacation and still have to deal with this shit? Like I need for you to make sure this thing closes. It is now or it's never. Like I was so frustrated 'cause I was also I kept I couldn't close on the Graham until I closed on the Bradford. And so I was like up against the wire. Like I was about to lose that property because of everything. And so I laid down the law and I don't know if it actually worked or not, but I mean I it was it was
So stressful. But anyway, so I actually went and signed papers the Friday before we left. We left on a Saturday. So I went and I signed all the papers in the lawyer's office. we were supposed to sign on the same day and shocker alert that didn't happen. It's another story for another day. And it took a really long time. It was like two and a half hours of signing a lot of things and double checking all the things. And anyway, I signed the papers.
And then Monday I was in Greece and the final closing went through. and I would love to tell you that it was this easy thing and it it was not.
I'm just gonna leave it at that, that it was not. And I thought, you know, we'd all come to a peace about it, and that was not the case. And even after coming back, there were some things I still had to deal with for a lot for a couple of months that were very like soul crushing and hard and emotionally complicated. but I will tell you the best thing I ever did.
was the fact that it did line up when I was in Greece. Cause there was something kind of amazing about being stuck in the middle of the ocean and not being able to talk to anybody other than my family or do anything and just be in a beautiful place. So like it was really the best thing I could have done for my mental health, even though it wasn't intentional. so we got back we got back from Greece and then about a week later we closed on Graham. and that was a really cool day, actually going in and
signing all the papers myself and walking away with a new venue in my hands. Like that was pretty amazing. and it just started then it all just got super real at that point. Like I'm not gonna lie not that it wasn't real before, because I had already bought the operations of Graham and I had already like been took over the operations of McAllister at that point. but it was
I don't know, like it was like the still the ramping up period and so it wasn't like this crazy stressful time. Like it was stressful because I think in my mind I was so, I was so inundated with trying to close at the Bradford that I wasn't really paying such close attention to what was happening, you know, at the two venues and I had some teams there that were helping me and so they were kinda holding on the fort for me and whatnot. But when I got back and closed it was like gangbusters like, Okay, this shit's real, let's get it together and
we just started going. So it ha I've I feel like I haven't had a pause or a break. there hasn't been really any celebration. Like everyone's like, did you go out and celebrate? I'm like, No, I just went to work the next day and I remember Sam texting me the n that morning. so we we closed in the morning and so the next day I went into Graham and he texted me that day and he said, I hope you're having like a glass of champagne or something and I was like, send a picture of my coffee. Like just a cup of coffee and
And that's really how it's been. It's just been so busy that I haven't really had a time time to truly pause. and, you know, really I think absorb all of the things. so I think I could go into this chronologically, like what's been happening since, but I don't know if that makes a lot of sense. So I guess I'll just kind of talk through like buckets of things. So coming back from Greece, the Bradford has sold.
It definitely felt different. the transition was was a little tough, because there were still a lot of questions. I still like, you know, helped out here or there behind the scenes. but it felt very much like you were, you know, just it was done, like you were cut off. It was over, right? for a lot of things. But there were still some lingering items that had to be taken care of.
When I had gotten back, I realized no one had handled the bank accounts. And so I spent an entire day just processing through all of that. And so there's like there was basically a line in the sand of when it was, when it closed, so then what was technically the new owner's revenue, what was our revenue, what is our expense, their expense. And that was like actually an extremely frustrating period of time for me because I just no one else did it.
So like I had to do it and then I had to explain and justify every fucking thing and I don't know, it just felt a little soul crushing to be honest with you. So I was really happy when that phase was over. and I would love to tell you that like it ended and it ended and it was fine and everything moved on. But like, you know, closings take a really long time and so because there were, you know, expenses here and there that we knew that we didn't foresee, things like taxes and stuff like that.
we had to keep an escrow account open and that literally just closed like two weeks ago in September, basically the end of the end of August. just closed. Like from March, which is crazy when you think about it. So you had to deal with this thing for six months, but it's officially officially officially done and I feel like that's worth celebrating in and of itself. but but yeah, it it was it was an interesting
it was a really interesting transition. I think for me it was a lot easier because I I just I had no choice but to throw myself into my other two b like businesses. Like it was just going full throttle into it. So I just do I honestly didn't really have time to think through what I was missing, what was wrong, what if I was even sad, like I I just didn't process it because it just I couldn't. I didn't have time to. and I don't really regret that, to be honest with you. I'm not really upset about that fact that I just couldn't
dwell on what had happened. I just kind of moved on. and I think that in general for the most part, like if I don't sit back and think about things, I'm fine. if I don't have to talk about it, I'm absolutely fine. And I to be clear, I do not talk about it. Like I am very like, I just came back from experience and of course everyone's like, my God, like da da da and I'm just like, yep.
Partnership dissolved, that's it. That's no more conversations. Like 'cause I don't I just I'm not interested in it. I'm not interested in in like hashing it out. I'm not interested in talking about it. I'm not interested in in reliving any feeling or emotion about it. I just want to move on with my life. So and that's been a really good thing for me, I think. It's been a really mature thing for me that normally there's this feeling of wanting to justify and, you know, explain my side or whatever, but mm, I don't really care. Like I just don't care. Like it doesn't matter.
it's it's inconsequential to my life and and I did learn this early on that I shouldn't say I learned this early on because it actually took me a long time to do this. But you know, when you're dealing with something like this, it's very emotional, it's very hard and and you know, you can a lot of times you only see one side of things and you see your side very clearly. Like obviously you know how you feel, whatever. and there
are points in our story that sound literally insane. Like it sounds like insanity. And in your mind you're like, well that's just what happened, right? That's not insane. That's just the reality of what happened. But when you talk about it, you sound it sounds insane. And so I realized there's no way you're ever gonna be able to justify or explain half the shit that happened. So
Why don't you just not talk about it? And so that's really the approach that I have taken with it. Just don't talk about it. Unless you are like my absolute closest best friend, and then you know a lot. But other than that, you don't know anything. And that's how I would love for it to stay. And that's exactly what how it's going to be. you know, I think that the more time that passes, I can't tell you that it gets less sharp, and I can't tell you that it gets less sad, I can't tell you that it's
easier and that that's all fucking bullshit. None of that is absolutely true. It's just a fact. That's all it is. It's just a fact. It's a fact of life. It's where we are. Move on. Let's go. You know, so on and so forth. And I have really kind of made the decision that I just was no longer gonna let it control my actions, my thoughts, my emotions, my feelings, or how I show up for people, you know, I think there was a lot of anxiety going through in the summer
with, you know, would we actually see each other? spoiler alert, we didn't, but I didn't I didn't back out of my commitments because of the fear of that, in general, because I I wanted to. I'm not gonna lie to you, it was really hard. I w had a lot of anxiety about it for sure. but I wanted to show up for the people in my life more than than for me to be uncomfortable. And so I chose to be uncomfortable.
And show up for those people and I don't regret it. I don't regret the decision that I made. So, I think that all of this whole process, I said the last time completely unnecessary that it happened, but really kind of look at it from a place of how much I've grown in it all. And it was really funny, like we were talk we were sitting at dinner the other night and it was around our anniversary. So this was not the other night, it's like month ago. We celebrated twenty years.
The summer, married and Sam said, He said, he's like, Do you ever do you ever think back to who you were twenty years ago? And I said, No. I've I like literally don't think about that person that was twenty two that got married. And I said, Why? Do you think about it? He goes, Yeah, I do a lot. And he's like, I just think about how different I am and I said, In a good way or bad way. He's like, In a good way. And I said, okay, yeah. I said, Honestly, I don't
think I could even recognize that girl. And he goes, no. He's like, I couldn't even recognize. He's like, a hundred percent, Dana. He's like, you are nowhere near that same person that I married. And he said, but honestly, I can't even recognize who you were six months ago. I can't even recognize who you are now based on who you were six months ago is what he said. And and I was like, well, in a good way, he's like in an amazing way. He's like, I've just the like just seen you flourish and like just be able to thrive
And he's like, and I know you're stressed out and I know that he's like, You've hit your max, he said, but I've never really seen you happier. And I don't know, that was just such a like heartening thing because I am very happy. But it has been the biggest season of overwhelm in the best possible way. But I was like, I'm glad that I am giving off this joy.
When that's not what I feel a lot of times. Sometimes I feel pure rage at the craziness that is in front of me. But so yeah, so it's been it's been a really good healing six months. I think there's still a long, long, long way to go. Such a long way to go, I think. But for me personally, I have made my own decisions, my own commitments. And yeah, I mean, I feel good about it, and that's all that I can do. I can only hold myself accountable for my own actions and my own words and my own
don't think the things that I do, you know, I can't control anything else. And that's just what I've decided to do. so yeah, so that's a little bit of a debrief on my emotional state, which is I will say that related to that, so I don't I didn't talk about this in my last I don't think I talked about this on last podcast. So I mentioned it a little bit that like last year I had a a health scare.
And I sat in that doctor's office and they looked at me and said, You have got to make a change with your life. He's like, You cannot like live at this level of stress. And and I remember telling it was actually a her, not a he. I remember telling her that I hear you, but like I'm in the events industry and one, I'm in this really, really painful part of my life and I I can't just like avoid it. I have to go through it. And and I am also in the events world, which is very stressful. There's a lot of pressure, I'm an entrepreneur and
And she said, Okay, well that's fine. She's like, if you can't get rid of the stress, then you've got to change your you've got to change the way you live your life. Like, if you are going to continually be in a stressful state, then you have to eat healthy, you have to start exercising, you've got to stop drinking, because I was very honest about how much I was drinking, which is a shit ton, and you've gotta change your life. And I like, Yeah, yeah, whatever. So, in January I had the mini masterclass, which was great, wonderful. Came home for a couple of days and then I had Nase Evolve, which also was great, wonderful.
and on my flight home I had an accident. And so I you know, looking back and after I went to the doctor for it, there because they were they were concerned because I had passed out. So they were concerned that like something was wrong, but really just super exhausted, dehydrated, spent two weeks probably drinking too much at that point. And so what had happened is I was on a flight home. Luckily it was a direct flight, you know, it was in Raleigh that this happened and I got super sick.
on the flight. It was during the ice storm and so I don't know if I don't know if that had anything to do with it, but it was like super turbulent, really, really bad landing. Like, we literally were jumping on the tarmac. And prior to landing we had a a ton of turbulence up and down the air and I was really nauseous. I was already on the edge to be honest with you. Like it was the night before we had stayed up really late. I had too much wine. but I mean I felt okay. Like I wasn't in like this crazy, terrible hangover state or anything like that. But
I wasn't my best self to be truthful with you. so I we land and luckily I'm in like first class. I'm in the second row. And I was like, okay, okay, like I'll be off I'll be fine. So I stand up. I had checked my bags, which is grateful for this. And I had my backpack on my back. I had a really big, my big coat that was wrapped around my arm. and then I had my bag of boots that I just gotten in Nashville. I stand up and I start walking
to the jet bridge, like to the jet bridge, and I was like, my God, I'm not gonna be okay. Like I'm not gonna make it. And I was like, I have got to throw up. And then I remember telling myself, Dana, you are 41 fucking years old. Do not throw up in the airport. Like you cannot do this. And so my first reaction is find a bathroom as fast as I can. And luckily I get out and I like see a bathroom and I'm like high tailing it to this bathroom. Like about to throw up everywhere. I walk in, there's an attendant there who's cleaning the bathroom and
The last thing I really remember is opening the bathroom door and I don't remember much else other than I can hear it in my head, but I fell, like I passed out, threw up, but when I fell, I hit my head on basically that metal pipe in the bathroom. and I I was wearing my my NASE GSD cap and it actually saved my forehead a lot. so thank you, Jill, for the hat.
And I remember I I like if I close my eyes I can very much hear the ding of my skull hitting this metal thing. But I pass out, obviously, from the h the head trauma. come to and I am like covered, absolutely covered in blood and in throw up. And it was very traumatizing. I say it very lightly now, but it was extremely traumatizing. And so luckily there was somebody in there, the person who the the attendant and there was someone
like a a passenger that was in there. And the passenger was one who really helped me the most because the attendant couldn't speak any English. And so she had a really hard time helping me, but she went and found TSA and then TSA came in and you know the police came and the firefighters came and it was this whole thing and they did a really great job. They asked me a thousand times if I slipped and I no I'm not gonna sue the airport. I like this is not your fault. Like I didn't slip on the ground or anything like that. I literally just passed out. And
Yeah, it was it was really, really, really traumatizing. Like, it was just I think it was scary, but I think for me it was like it was it's permanent and you can see it in this. If you're watching the video of this, you can see the scar. And if you've seen me since you'll s you've seen the scar. It's definitely getting better. but it was eight stitches, four muscle stitches because the muscle had split open and so my basically my skull was exposed.
and then it was for superficial to close to close the skin up. But the craze the the other like horrible part about it all is I I go to the ER and you know, they're doing all the things, they're cleaning it out or whatnot, and like puts lidocaine all in it and he starts they didn't do like a C T scan because they didn't think I I needed one, but he was like, Hey, I'm just gonna double check, make sure there's no bone chips and so he like has his finger like in my forehead basically and I can feel all of it and I am just like laying on the table trying to be as still as possible and there's just
tears streaming down my face and like and Sam's like you're really white and I was it hurts really bad and he's like how does this hurt and like I don't know why it hurts and he's like I've put X notolidocaine I was like dude I don't fucking know why it hurts but it could you just please get your finger out of forehead like it hurts and he's just like I don't know why this is I was like I don't know and he's like Are you okay? And I was like Yes just can you just stitch it up? Like I just want to go home at this point. Like I just want to be done with this. And so I basically felt every stitch that they did and
I was like, childbirth is worse. I can tell you that, but it doesn't feel good. I mean, getting such it's in your face doesn't feel great, but childbirth definitely is a hundred percent worse. So I've I've i you know went through worse things in my life. And later I was telling my mom the story and she's yeah, I'm lidocaine intolerant. And I was like, that would have been great to know, mom. but anyways, so I spent a lot of February really
terrified of walking and standing because I didn't know why I had passed out. And when I went to the doctor, they basically were like, we told you this was gonna happen. Like your body it just gave up. It just literally gave out. Like you haven't been taking care of it. Like, I'm sure you drank a bunch that week. I'm sure you haven't been sleeping. And you were deh obviously dehydrated, like based on like, you know, the blood work coming back and all this stuff. And and he was in the nicest way possible was kind of like get your shit together. And so
After that I didn't have a drink for until the cruise. So it was over ten weeks and I had one drink the night we closed because it's the first time I drank. And ever since then it's been I will only have maybe one or two a week. Like truly, I can mark that on my doctor's like, you know, intake form. Some weeks I don't have anything at all. but just really changed the way that I coped with my life. and
Started eating a bit better. I've lost like almost twenty pounds. just the healthiest version I've been in. I I still wanna get little bit stronger. Like I know that that's my next kind of goal, but it's been like a season of really taking care of my mental space as well as my physical body. and it has felt really good.
I stopped taking my antidepressant, like it just feels like there is almost like a new life ahead of me and it just got rid of all the negativity, all the toxic things in my life and just kind of emerged to the person that I am, you know, supposed to be. And I say all that to say that it doesn't mean it's been an easy transition. When you stop self medicating, you're you had to deal with shit. And so that's been hard.
but good in the same way. Like it's really allowed me to process through a lot of things and but it's allowed me be more calm and more like rational, you know. I don't know. So, it's been it's been a journey for sure. I had to get through I had to get used to getting having a scar on my face. I was very vain about it. I still don't love it, but I don't notice it anymore. It's just part of my story in a lot of ways.
so the first three months of the year were were rough to say the least.
So kind of transitioning into what it has been like to run these two venues. I if you have seen me since, I will I'm like I'm so not a serious person in general, but I would joke with you that these are my rebound venues. Like they were not like the perfect ones, but you know, they have got me through a tough time and I will I will stand by that. it has been a puzzle. And I have said this analogy before, and I so strongly feel this. Like I can see the full picture.
Like I can see how it's supposed to be and what the picture's supposed to look like. And I could even tell you what puzzle pieces are missing in that picture. But I can't find the puzzle pieces. And that is what's been really frustratingly hard. And I do remind myself often, like, you've only really been operating these for like four or five months. Like it's gonna take some transition. It's gonna you're gonna have to figure it out.
But it has been a lot of pivoting. It's been a lot, let's try this, let's try this, let's do this. And I think we finally have landed in sales wise, like, okay, this is how we're selling it. This is the client we're looking for. And like that feels really good. We're still like in a a period of growth, like where we're really trying to get our name out there, we're trying to raise the awareness. marketing is a big expense. but there is with both of them.
you feel very strongly when you walk in those spaces and you see what's there, there's so there's such good bones. Like there's so much there. it's just it's not an overnight success, which I never really expected it to be necessarily. I think I expected some of it to move little faster than I than it is. But I think I can also go back and say I was like half a person for the first three months of owning these businesses. Like I was not present. I was not there. My brain was like such a fog and it's what's super crazy is
you know, the people who I had like, you know, with me in February and then they saw me in April, May, they're like, You're like a totally different person I was like, Yes, I know because it's like I'm coming out of the fog and now it's like, okay, this is how the these things to be run and like just how much more efficient and productive I can be 'cause my mind isn't just like in this depressive state and whatnot, like is a huge, huge, huge difference, for sure.
But it has been it's been it's been hard and there's been hard things for different reasons. For Graham, the hard part has been me figuring out staffing and how to run that in a way that makes sense. it's not a massive revenue generator, but it has low expenses. So how do you keep your expenses to a point where you're hitting the profits you want? So a lot of that a lot of the expense is tied to staffing and so
trying to figure out that puzzle, there's been things I've I started, I haven't started. And now I actually feel like right now, like the path that I'm on and the way that I'm reorganizing and structuring it, like I feel really good about it. I don't think I could have made that decision three months ago 'cause I don't think I really understood it fully. But right now that I really understand the business and what it is, I feel really good about where it's going and how, and how to
staff it appropriately for what makes sense for that venue and what the clients want, right? Like it's very different than McAllister. McAllister is operationally it's been actually really great because Jesse's like fucking amazing. he has whipped that thing into shape. he's done a really great job for that piece of it. Sales was really hard to figure out. We had to figure out who we were selling to and like I said I think we have that figured out and so now we're at the place we're ready to start just being owners and kind of letting the operations run in
with staff and so we started hiring for that position and said that's been great. and so it's been a lot of like transition pieces here and there.
But McAllister was tough for a very different reason. It was hard because my timeline had to move up so so fast. I started operating in the end of January.
And part of the agreement was I had to get all of like my inspections done. But the intention was I would purchase the real estate at the end of twenty twenty six, beginning of twenty twenty seven. And I I had negotiated that because I knew that I was closing on Graham and like closing in two b businesses at once just seemed like the bank wasn't gonna like go for that. And so I had kinda negotiated that plan and that that moving forward.
And so I did the 90-day inspection and it came to me pretty good. I mean, the guy was like, Look, there's gonna be a lot of stuff on here. He's like, But you need to know the house is in pretty decent shape. He's like, But here is what I would really fight for getting fixed. And it's it was like about a hundred grand plus worth of stuff that needed to be done to the property. You know, I sent it on to the sellers and and all this is happening all at the same time. There was a plumbing problem. And when I had to
Done a walk through the house initially, I had noticed in the basement there was some like back backage, like evidence of that there was a backflow issue. And so they said, yeah, that happens, we've gotten it fixed, blah, blah, blah. They got it cleaned up. Well, our first event of February, the whole basement flooded with sewage. So disgusting.
And luckily we had a month between that event and the next event. Now, granted, at this point, we'd booked a couple of weddings, but they weren't till like the fall time. So these are all events that we had inherited that we had agreed to take on and to execute for, you know, the previous owners. anyway, so this happened and contacted them and said, Hey, we've got a plumber out, here's the issue, this is the issue is as always gonna happen.
you know, we need to replace this piece of the pipe. it's there's a tree root growing in it. It's why it's happening. you can basically you could continue to snake it, but it's gonna happen every single time someone uses this space, like more than four people more than four people flush toilet paper, it's gonna keep backing up. And so we went through like it was like a couple of weeks of back and forth of like, use our people, great, get this quote, okay, fine. Did all those things, whatnot. Well, it finally got to the point where they're like, We're not paying for this to be fixed right now, like
go ahead and get it snaked. So it's like, okay, fine, whatever. Like, I'm not gonna argue with this at this point. So we bring the plumber out, he goes to snake it, and the entire pipe collapses. Like collapses to the ground. Like there's video of it, there's picture of it, all the things. And this is like a Monday or a Tuesday and the wedding is on Saturday. And granted, I leave that Saturday for Greece. So this is all happening at the same time, right?
And so I just had to make a decision to fix it, right? And I, you know, was like I couldn't get them couldn't get them on the phone. They couldn't agree to it. And I like, look, I can't I have to cancel this bride's wedding, which I don't want to do, or I fix this problem. So I go ahead and fix it, and you know, leave, whatever. And so when it came down to having to pay the rent that month, I just took out what the cost of the fix was.
And we went back and forth a little bit and they asked me split over two months and I was like, look, I can't really do that. Like I don't have the money, like I don't have the cash to do that right now. But if you need me to like in a couple of weeks make another payment, that's fine. just, you know, let me know. Never heard anything about it. Right. but in that whole process, they were just basically like, We don't want to deal with this anymore. Like this is like we don't
I don't know if it's because they didn't have the I'm not gonna put words in their mouth on I don't know if it's 'cause they didn't have the cash, the money, whatever. They're they're basically like, we don't want to deal with these with these changes. I had already said the report over and they're like, We're we don't wanna deal with this. And so we just want you to go ahead and buy it. Can you buy it within sixty days? And I was like, No. Like, I like don't think that I can. And so, you know, I had to like
ask myself, do I really want to try this? Do I really want to do it? And at this point, I mean, it wasn't like the slam dunk. Like it wasn't like, my God, like yes, let's do it. And I hadn't invested a shit ton of money into it. But enough
So I called the bank and I was like, Crazy. I know I just closed on Graham like two days ago, but how do you feel about this? And they were like, This is crazy, you are crazy. but let's go down this path. And so we had a couple meetings, they suggested SBA, and so we started we created an LOI, moved forward with all the things, had all the negotiations, got to a good point what I felt was good. there were, you know, a couple of
concessions that were made on both sides
So we move forward. and then it starts like this really stressful thirty days of my life where I'm getting all this stuff together for the bank, trying to prove viability of this venue. not a hundred percent believing in it, like eighty percent believing in it. And and I couldn't tell at some point if I if I was gonna be okay if they said no or if I was gonna be upset they said no. So I had to have do a lot of soul searching, to be truthful with you.
And I determined that I really wanted to try, really wanted to try to do this thing. And so it was like thirty days later and I had one last step that I had to take. And this is like the end of May. And basically I had a great advocate at the bank who works with SBA and they wanted me to I d I'd talk to my creditor. So I had to talk to creditor. So it was some guy he didn't know who I was, and
I had a banker called, she said, Hey, you know, you're gonna have to talk to so and so as a creditor. He's he's he's the final say so. Like you're he you have to convince him and if he says yes then we are golden, we're fine. Okay, great. So I take this call.
Or I it's I'm it's a very busy day and I it's I could squeeze him in and I was like running around doing something and I and I get in and you know and I'm just me and telling the truth. Like, yeah, that I feel really good about this. This is one area I'm d not super confident in, but I feel like, you know, with my experience, like I feel like I can turn this around, so on and so forth, da da da. And got off the call and just was like, you know what, I gave it my best shot. Like I did the best that I could. And so this was like a Wednesday. And so Friday, I'm leaving the office and
I see a call from the bank and I was not supposed to find out until Monday. And so my instant reaction was like, This is bad news. Why would they be calling me on a Friday? And I picked up the phone and she said, she said, I didn't want you to have to wait till Monday and like my heart just sank. And it like really in that moment. It's like the episode with friends, you know, when when Rachel
is taking that pregnancy test and Phoebe lies and says, you're not pregnant and then she gets upset about it and she's I guess I really wanted this baby. Like I that's how I felt. I like, my God, I guess I really wanted this. and she said, I don't know what you said to this person. She said, Because on paper this was not a slam dunk. And we were all sweating over here and he's but she said, he approved you and he made a note that said at all costs we need to keep this person. She's she's going places. Like
or less paraphrasing. And I quickly got the phone and said thank you. And then I just sat in my car and I cried like a little baby. Like just huge sobbing tears. I called Sam and he's like, my God, are you okay? Because last time I called him crying, had hit my head in the bathroom at the airport. I said, no I'm fine, I'm fine. Everyone's fine. Everyone's alive. Everyone's safe. I'm healthy. It's fine. And I, you know, told him and I said, I just feel like I've been working so hard for five months and I feel like
You know, there's times I felt like I didn't know what I was doing. I felt like I was just spinning my wheels and like and it just felt really good for someone to see me and like that I can do this. Because there's there's definitely this like imposter syndrome, feeling like I don't know what I'm doing, feeling like can I actually do this by myself? Like all of those things for sure. So there was definitely like I don't
No, just a moment where I felt really seen and I felt like, okay, I can do this. Like, I'm on the right path. And so then started the clock and we ended up closing sixty days later and it was not easy. Again, it was a tough one. It was a hard one to get to the other side of and to be truthful, like there have been some really disappointing things that have happened.
that I've had to deal with. and and I think for me, like where I struggle is, you know, my friends tell me all the time, like, You're too nice, you're too nice. Like you like, you know, give in too easily. Like you don't fight hard enough and blah and like I mean, I guess, but like for me, like
Like I I knew that what I was that you know, McAllister was a good investment, right? It wasn't like
Like I knew that my the value was in the building and you know, and I was, you know, not underwater with the with what I got it for. But I knew that it would take some, you know, cost to get it up and going and whatnot. But for me the hard part was that I could empathize with where they were, right, and why they had to sell. And I could empathize with, you know, let me just help you. Let look let me absorb these weddings. Let me even absorb some of the c like honestly, like because I didn't actually buy the business.
I absorbed some of the debt of that business, which wasn't a lot, to be just to be super clear, it wasn't a lot. and it was just of what of those events. So like what vendors were owed and so on and so forth. And and even in the middle of it, it ended up being more than what was promised. and what was coming in was less than being promised, and I felt really salty about it for a little bit, but I was like, you know what, like I can at the end of the day, everyone's just doing their best, they're trying their best. And then we get to the end and I realize, No, they
purposefully made some choices and maybe took advantage of my kindness and and then just made me mad. And I don't know, I just I think that everywhere I turn I learn lessons and the other day I told Sam was like, another lesson learned Or he said, you know, he told me. He said, that's another lesson learned. And I said, well you know what? I'm good.
I feel good. I d I feel like I don't need to learn any more lessons. Like we can stop with the lesson learning. I'm good for a solid two years. Like I feel great. Like I have enough under my belt to like really last me. So if we could just pause on the lesson learning, I would be eternally grateful for that. Thank you very much. but that's what it's felt like. It's just been a lot of like nothing super major, nothing super dire, but like just some fumbles that you're like, shit. Like, okay, let's, you know, not do that again. Right.
I think that for me, the hardest thing out of all of this, just to be super transparent, I was not prepared what it is like to be a multi business entrepreneur. And I say that because it's not that I look at each each individual business. Like I have McAllister, I Graham, I have Hustle and Gather, I have the venue masterclass, then I have a fun new project that I'm working on, which I love so much and so exciting. but all five of these things, right? I love it and they're great.
And if you look at them individually, they're not hard. Even if you were to say like time-wise putting them together, it's not hard. What is so hard and what I had no idea about is you feel like a ping pong ball all day. Like you can't just say, Okay, for three hours I'm gonna focus on this thing. I guess I should say my sixth full time job, which is NACE, which is basically a full time job. But you you can't just say, I'm gonna take three hours and work on this thing because
you start working on something and then someone needs you over here and so then you have to like ping pong over to that one be like, Okay, let me put my let me put my hat over here for McAllister. but then someone needs something at Graham. but then you have to get something ready for the master class. but then you have this this a new client over here. but then you have to like handle the nace this. Like, but then someone should be a speaker. Like it is like that all day, every day. And so you leave the day and you're like, one, what did I actually do? I'm not confident that anything actually got done.
And two, like, I have never been more tired in my entire life. Like I am l so exhausted at the end of the day. And it's and it's not because like I don't sleep well. It's not because I can't relax on a weekend. I mean, it is just the most exhausting nine hours of my life. and I love every second of it. I say that all honestly, like, I love it so much. And
it stretches me in so many different ways. And I just and I'm I mean, there are days I am like ranting on the phone or ranting to Sam and I was actually just I was like it was like and this and this and this and then this happened and he's like, you know, I know that you're like in a state of like ranting right now. He's like, but I'm so jealous of you and the fact that you care so much about this and that you love your job so much that you're ranting about it. And I was like, I know, I do feel really grateful for that. So
It's it's been a lot of that. I I have never lived my life in the and more than I have this season, where I have been so incredibly sad and yet so incredibly happy. I've been so incredibly busy, yet so incredibly fulfilled, like so incredibly overwhelmed yet so incredibly confused at the same time or like or confident, like knowing I'm doing like I have the confidence of somebody who has like of a crazy person, but then also s you know, not sure what I'm doing the next day. So like
It it feels so much like that. and maybe that's just the world always and forever. I don't really know. But it's def that's definitely where I am right now. so yeah, it's been it has been a journey. It has been really great. you know, I think it's really hard to reinvent yourself and it's really hard for me, what I struggle with and like and I still see this and I saw this at experience and I saw this anytime I go to like
a nace meeting and I'm still seen as one of two and to have to create that line of for people who don't who didn't know, who hadn't heard or are shocked by it, like it I have to then comfort them and their shock and their emotion and I'm like, I'm I don't I d I don't wanna I don't wanna do this anymore. Like, you know, so there's this like weird space of like
I'm so ready. I'm like I'm there. I'm like I've moved on. I've I've gone to the other side of it, but then I'm constantly pulled back, you know? And and so I have fought like hell to not allow myself to go back there to just put the nice smile on and you know pretend like it was perfect and wonderful and then just move on. Like it's just for me, like I have
I think watching what happened last what happened in 2025 to me physically, emotionally, mentally, and then who I am now, I can tell you that it has because in 2025 I lived in a state of fear. I lived in a state of sadness and in darkness. And I think I mean I knew I was depressed. I'm not saying I didn't know I was depressed. I a hundred percent was depressed. But
I think I couldn't see any light in the world anywhere. Like, it just felt like there was no way out, but to get through it. And to go through it meant I had to like get beat up through the entire thing. Like I just had to be absolutely destroyed to get to the other side. And and I knew it. Like I knew it standing on the other side of it saying, You're gonna walk through this tunnel and it is gonna kill you and it's gonna
break you down into absolutely nothing. And I know there's like those old sayings and feelings like to you had to break something down to get, you know, you know, to be built back up or whatever. And I don't know if I feel like it was necessary for that to happen for me to be built back up, but it's what had to happen f in this circumstance. But it's exactly what happened. And
Yeah, so it's been it's been a really interesting six months. It's been a really interesting place to be in. I've hired a lot of people, which has been really fun. just kind of creating my little work family around me. I made the decision in June to hire an executive assistant because I just couldn't do it. Like I spent so much time in emails and love that decision for me. Highly recommend it for anyone that's busy, totally worth it.
She goes full time in January, and January cannot come here soon enough because I just think she should control my life right now. Because she's that great. No, but all seriousness. It's been it's been really good. Like my I had a couple bridge sessions with a business coach, Don, and they said something that was really impactful to me about, you know, once you're at one level, like don't
go back down. Like if you have to continually go back down to a different level, it's like you're gonna get stuck there. And so and that was really the push for me to hire an assistant to say, I need someone just to take care of this part. Like my emails, manage my emails, manage my calendar, manage my travel, manage all of this stuff for me and just highlight the things that I need I need to, you know, actually look at each day. and it's just been
it's been really freeing. and I don't have that anxiety. I always I always has anx had this anxiety that I was missing an email or forgetting to respond to an email or something like that. And I just don't have that anymore, which has been like really, really good for me. so yeah, so it's been it's been great and and good and big news I guess I guess it's big news, that I have officially started my venue management company and I have a couple of venues that I'm
that I have I'm working with. and so the hope is at the end of twenty seven I will take on one more. I'll have a fifth venue. So to be clear, two of the venues that I'm managing are my own. And then I have two other ones as well. And then hopefully have my fifth one that I'll start courting and thinking through in the spring of twenty seven. But that's been really incredibly exciting. it's
been really fun dreaming and kind of I don't know for me it was a lot of like what do I do so well and how can I really capitalize on that. Like are d am I like the most amazing venue owner? No. Like you want me to pay bills. That is like my weakest point ever. Like I am like the worst billpayer. Put my admin on that. Thank you very much.
do I love accounting? Absolutely not. Am I okay at it? I'm okay at it, but I don't love it. It's not my favorite. but I do it. but I'm really good at managing. I'm really good at thinking through structure and whatnot. And and even if I feel stuck, like I was stuck a couple like a month ago and I called a friend and I or text friends like, Hey, who I admire greatly and who's been a great, you know, resource for me and I said, Can you help me like just think through this? Like I can you like I just need another I need another mind on this and
We met for coffee and caught up and you know, I was like, Does this seem crazy? She's like, No, not at all. And I would do XYZ and really help me think through it. So, like, to me, even if I don't have all the answers, I have such a good community behind me to help me figure out figure out the answers. There's so many great mentors that have like really walked me through this phase and and it's been really, really fun. Like I had a call with a lawyer, the lawyer that helped me close the Bradford earlier today that's helped me work on an agreement for a client.
And he's like, I he's like, I'm so excited to hear you and hear all the stuff you're doing you're doing. He's like, I can't he's like he's like, I can believe it. I, you know, worked with you for so long and I know who you are as a person, but like I am also just so excited that you are, you know, moving forward and all the stuff you're doing and he's like it's just really, really fun to watch. And and that's what it's been. Like I just think that, you know, I could easily get into
this depressive state of how busy and stressful and overwhelming it all is. But I it's I think hearing you know, I'm Big Swifty, but hearing her interview with the Grammys, you know, her saying, like, I chose this, I made this choice, and I do feel that way. Like I feel very differently than when I felt overwhelmed the Bradford, because as much as I feel like I chose the Bradford, I I also felt like that was very much a conveyor belt part of my life. where, you know
I didn't have a hundred percent say in everything because I was a partnership, which, you know, you know how I feel about partnerships, you've read my newsletter, that, you know, I love them and I'm very grateful for all the ones that I have been in and will be in in my life. but I actively chose to get back into this world. I actively made this decision to buy not one but two venues. I actively decided to start a whole another business managing venues. I actively made that choice.
And at any point I could have bailed out. At any point I could have said no. And even right now, ever both venues have a I call it my fail safe exit strategy. If for some reason in a year from now I can't get these suckers where I want them to be, I have a Hail Mary. Easy peasy, not gonna affect it, gonna get all my money back, all the things, right? It's a it's a no brainer investment for me, but I know that it's hard and like and I know and I
actually told Sam yesterday that I it's official that I have hit my max. And I don't know I have never been here where I've hit my max where like I can't take on one more thing. I have never felt that way in my life, truly. I have felt close to it, but I've never actually said those words that I've hit my max. but I have. But at the same time
I don't want to bitch about it or complain about it. And that's not the attitude that I go into every day. Like I go into the very much being grateful and being appreciative of the opportunity to do things that I want to do. And and there is something very different about it when you can say, I chose this. I made this choice. Like I wanted this. I cried over this. I stressed I I made this decision, right? Like I chose this. And so
I don't know, there's just it's it there's there's a different piece about it. I don't know how to explain it. but anyways, that is where I am now. That is the the highs, the lows, the everything in between, the drama, I guess a little bit. I don't really know, but that is where where I have been and I'm really excited for this next phase of the of the podcast. I have some really great guests coming up.
been in full on venue masterclass mode. the agenda has gone out this week. I have such a great lineup, super excited about it. and that's shaping up to be really fun and really just really great. So I don't know. I feel like the future is really bright, and I'm just incredibly grateful for all of you who have supported me and
and been a part of this journey and who have cheered me on, like I I just don't think there'll ever be enough words, enough emotion to to truly like recognize like where I've been and how many people have gotten me here. it's just when I think back to like not being able to like
function and get out of the bed and understand what the point of like where the end was to where I am now. Like it's just it's unimaginable. So
Thank you for listening and thank you so much for tuning in
and being a part of my story. I am forever grateful and I will see you next time.