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Captain Alden daydreams about crab cakes while the mission briefing plays. The crew descends to the reactor level, where a coffin suspended above a warp-tainted power core holds whatever the Fabricator General was too afraid to name. Chaos symbols cover every surface. Kelrana needs her soul stone or she is damned forever. Simsel has no idea what forge world he is on. Roos makes tea with a delicate touch. Whatever is in that coffin, they are about to find out.
Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: WH40K Wrath & Glory
Creators and Guests
Host
Host
Guest
Guest
Guest
What is Wrath & Glory | Narrative Declaration?
An Ogryn, Rogue Trader, Aeldari, and an Inquisitor walk into a Warhammer 40,000 TTRPG campaign, and it’s everything you expect it to be! Listen in to Narrative Declaration’s run of WH40K: Wrath & Glory! You’ll laugh, cry, and scream “heresy!” as our party journeys through the “Litanies of the Lost” adventures.
I can take it. I rescind my words. He's having fun. We can't let him win guys
Let's play some wrath
We my way we your way. That's beautiful. Oh boy. Oh we your way
In the glory, the wrath and glory, the game master leads to night
Thank you so much for being here. If you turn this on in your car and the person beside you is wondering how crazy you are, they are. You should run
In fact, you should call the police right now
Call the police and let them know that you're on your phone while you're driving. Everything that we say is actually a code for serial killers to enact like advice and plans
So any time that you hear us, you know, it's actually a coded message
Yeah, this is kind of like a winter soldier-esque
activation phrase. Yeah. Yeah, kill your family. Yeah
Yeah, just in Minecraft in Minecraft
If you know, you know, you know, just drive your car into their building. They'll never see it coming
It'll be funny. Do a flip
Do a flip
In the car
This is legal advice
Yeah, flipping your car right now
And financial advice
Yeah, put all your stocks in one thing
I'm giving actual legal advice
Buy more GameStop stock
Buy more GameStop stock
And speaking of buying stuff
Hey everybody, we got new merch today
Yippee!
Yippee!
Where can you get that new merch there, Zoran?
First I'm gonna do a disclaimer, cause you're here
For
Prodency
Prodency
Bricky owns the company
Just be aware of that
Yay!
Woo!
Yippee!
Yay!
I'm CEO and owner of Orchidate
However, I promise you
I am not attempting to replace my staff with AI
Yay!
Yay!
Yay!
Yay!
Yay!
Yay!
So you do can support
You know, actual human beings and stuff like that
We go to the Narrative Declaration dot shop
We restock the Rockrine enamel pins
And so I don't think they're in right now
I think they're coming in later in the month
They will be shipped later
Yippee!
Yay!
Yippee!
But of course we have a whole bunch of eclectics merch and stuff like that
Bunch of brand new t-shirts
We brought back the old poster, old t-shirt, but also added a whole bunch more
Also a brand new, like super, very nice, long poster and a game map with the same art on it
It looks super duper
Of course we also have holographic stickers and magnets and things like that
All this art is basically from Salty Job and also Skilly Bean
So they're the amazing artists who put all that together
Yeah
So thank you so much to them
But of course if you want to support the show and stuff like that
This should be going, I think we said at the end of January next year, I believe
Yeah, that shouldn't be how long it should go
Pretty much with that, so be sure to pick it up before it all dissipates
Forever
This will be the last eclectics, yeah!
Yippee!
Woo!
Yippee!
Yippee!
Woo!
Woo!
Yippee!
And now for the show
Welcome back everybody
Good to see you all today
Thurston
Good to see you too, Zoran
Good to see you too, man
Oh
Oh
Oh
Dude
You look huge
Oh, thanks bro
You look handsome today
Wow, thanks bro, you wanna kiss about it?
Yeah
Anyway
Thank you everybody
That was disgusting
Holy shit, he ate him
You're bisexual
Bruce, not again
That's a different kind of show
That's a different kind of show
That's a different kind of show
That's a different kind of show
Bruce, get my hands out of your mouth
I thought you had enough finger foods last session
But last time I'll remember
We were going down a facility
A dangerous
And dark facility
Oh
Yeah, but we're not starting there
Apparently the god voice in my sense said
We're not starting there
Cause I remember getting messed up by some
Adeptus Mechanicus thing and my friends were there
And you were there
And you were there
And you were there
And you were there
And you were there
As Bruce is recalling this
He's pointing at people
But not saying it
I point back at him
Did she read my mind?
I point at, uh
I point at Kelrana
Hey, you're pointing at the wrong person
Or am I pointing at the right person?
That's true
He read the skeins
I saw him
That could be true
Kelrana
Uh huh
What number am I thinking?
Seven
Seven
Seven
Seven
All right, all right, all right
I'm gonna play my fingers
Seven
Against my temples
Seven
Can I roll a psychic mastery?
Seven
Yeah
The difficulty is zero
Zero?
The difficulty number is zero
Oh great, great, great, great
Awesome, awesome
Uh
There we go
There we go
Yeah, this will be your wrath dice
If you complicate
It would be really funny if I complicate it
That's literally what I care about, yes
Exactly
All right, all right
I press my fingers to my temples
Would you like to shift for greater success?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'd like to shift
Oh, hell yeah
Seven
Seven
Seven
Ah, Roosan
My mind, it travels
It dances along the skeins
All things are known to me in this moment
Seven
I know, I know, I know
You can hold your applause
Sorry, she's on mine, Rita
He looks to him
He looks to Alden
So as you, as you look to Alden and say this
Um, Alden is staring off at the distance
Because we're actually gonna go back into Alden's memory
Oh boy
Oh my god, no
Of
The briefing
Which I would like to say
I found it really funny
In the last episode we released
That someone
I really hope they explained the briefing this time
I'm like
Never, never
Sorry
And so
And so
Oh
Alden
Hello
You are being presented a briefing on the Bridge of the Bird of Paradise
Alongside your fellow companions
Um, but
Clearly something is distracting you
Can you give us Alden's sort of internal monologue
As the briefing is taking place?
Oh my god
I really
Really
Really
Like
Like
Crab cakes
I
I
I can't think of the last time we've had crab
On the Bird of Paradise
Because they're always
Utilizing the crab in a different way
My restauranteur staff needs to be
I need to intimate to them that I want more crab
If I
If I
If I go right out and I say it
Isn't that a bit desperate?
Doesn't that
Doesn't that seem like I'm complaining?
They make so many other
And this next part is very important
So everyone be paying attention here
What?
Yes
Because I won't repeat this again
But I
Of course
Yes
Go on
Right away
Alright
The man continues speaking
I should absolutely say something
What's the name?
The chef
Again
The one on
Uh
Hermando
Sir
Sir
Sir
You're
Wait
Yes
Of course
We understand
No need
Let us continue
Or cease
Alright
So we cut back
That was what we know of Alden's understanding of the briefing
That was not my finest work there
Someone is screaming at their monitor right now
Fuck my gram case
What the fuck guys
Bullshit
We live to frustrate you viewers
Yeah that's what we're here for at this point
Um
Alright
So we cut back into the interior of the facility
So
Uh you have just
Um
Finished defeating
The mechanized
Uh being who begged
To be killed
Uh which you
You know
Did for them
Uh
And are in the
The massive sort of
You know
Conveyor based
Uh area
You find yourself
The place that you've entered into
This particular space
Um
Is some sort of
That like
Fabrication workshop
That you've now entered into
Um
Along the walls here
You can see
That
There are
Various augmentations
That are no longer
Usable
But they are
Base grade augmentations
Scattered around
Various
Tech parts
And machinery
Um
It looks like they've
Been constructing
Various
Um
Parts here
Like hydraulic arms
And
Combat weapons
Um
But have run out of the flesh
To graft it to
So they've been stacked here
Huh
You know
Stop me if I'm
Odd for this
But is anyone else hungry?
Sorry captain
There's not enough skin around
Not really anything to eat
Well no I mean
I'm just like
I'm just getting up
Like you know
I'm thinking about
Like
What
You know what really hit the spot right now
I want to spin a wrath point
Yes
Okay
I have the last of the crab cakes
And I'm just about to eat it
Yes
Wait
If I
Go ahead
If I may interject for a moment
Uh
I believe
I believe the stream
Is focusing on the wrong area
That is the elevator that we already went through
We should be in the little
Thing with all of the crates and stuff
On the second image
You are right
You are right
Thank you
Oh
There we go
Crates
Oh yeah sorry I did not
Let me delete those
There we go
There we go
Good call
There we go
Anyway
Anyway crab cakes
Bruce in slow motion
Bruce
No
Why are you talking so slow sir
I'm sorry
I was having a manic episode
Please don't eat that
I'm very hungry
And quite frankly
I've been craving crab cakes
All week
What
I've been saving this morning
If I ever got hurt
Well where have you been hiding it
He kinda
Looks down
At his pocket
What else
Somehow
Hey
There is one crab cake
There is one crab cake
There is one crab cake
In Roos' pocket
For every member of the party
Alright Roos eat all of them
Hey Roos
How come that one crab cake
Has large amounts of black peppercorn on it
Oh that's mine
That's good
That'll really taste up
You know
Are you zested up with some old bay
Or sorry as we call it in the uh
Imperium
Oldest bay-us
Oldest bay-us
Shut up
What was
Oh god
What was the fever dream episode
That you got fucking obsessed with
Some random food piece on speaker last time
Oh god yeah
What was it?
It was one of those wasn't it?
Oh I don't know
The second we sign out of these shows dude
All of that just goes into the void
Yeah I've noticed
The second those credits roll
The second those credits roll
It's done
Spumoni?
No no no
I think it was Spumoni
I think it was Spumoni
Yeah it was Spumoni
No no pozole
Pozole
Pozole
Pozole
Pozole
Pozole
Pozole
Pozole
Pozole
Pozole
Pozole
Pozole
Pozole
Pozole
Pozole
Pozole
Pozole
Pozole
Pozole
Pozole
Pozole
Pozole
Pozole
Pozole
Pozole
Pozole
Pozole
Pozole
Pozole
Pozole
Pozole
Pozole
Pozole
any benefits for spending the wrath point perhaps you'll accept you'll all have to decide on if
you're eating the if you're spending the wrath point or not when you eat the crab cake i'm going
to eat the crab cake and spend the ralph point then i think that's beautiful we'll live okay
okay mark down mark mark down alden's uh wrath point uh anyone else going to uh spend a wrath
alongside their crab cake try not to smack no in the microphone because that drives some people
crazy oh shit sorry no it's okay i was enjoying my crab cake but i will not spend a wrath point
okay simsul are you gonna spend a wrap point with the crab cake no i'm just gonna eat the crab cake
okay uh kelrana
no we got we gotta have more bits for later in the session i'm gonna save it for something even
stupider okay perfect uh if you spent the wrath you regain all of your wounds and all of your
shock um oh my god that's a good ass crab cake that's good that's way better than that you know
that really hit the spot i i'm sure everyone else is feeling as refreshed as i am
that's good i i regain all my wounds in shock because oh actually i did your leg grow back
i was ready to throw my wrath in to get it have it grow back honestly
like your leg starts reforming and then the voices with the no then it just starts retracting you don't
grow back until i tell you to and even then it's going to be cooler and made of metal instead
i'm so glad everyone's so nice and peppy but uh but since we're still hiding away from those for those
mechanical made with gods uh ruth looks around um just reiterate this is pretty much a storage room
right with a bunch of barrels yeah with augmentations and it looks like there have been augmentics that
have been crafted here that are just far in excess of the actual number of augmentations that could be
employed wait there's augmentics yes are there any of higher quality than my peg leg perhaps a master
crafted peg leg he's trying to get like a shotgun leg a power peg oh never mind
mind yeah yeah let's not give captain alden a power peg let's instead uh continue on
are you sure are you sure you don't have this chapter of captain alden roger's illustrious career
sure you sure buddy it's all over dude it's all over my career's in ruins
hey they lost the mandate of heaven brother it's all over it's all over the hana's doom
hey everyone i have an idea what if we continued into the facility and i don't know
they figured out you know what's going on yeah maybe three or four meters and then stop
that's a stupid idea everyone let's move a bit farther into the facility and see what we do
oh i swear to god i'm gonna break everybody oh no stop
what if now hear me out i might be a little bit uh out of my board but i'm totally a genius in some
sectors what if we cut off captain alden's other leg and the place is something else
there are a lot of spare parts why don't we cut off his arm too
no no no no no zorn you're not helping me don't don't try to pin this on me no no no no
that's something different i'm saying to help you uh we all nervously apparently walking out of
this room to the south so in case you need to prepare for anything so the tokens can stay together
and all that oh yeah yeah yeah i i figured that's what's helping you out so we can all go together
oh no no no i i know i know you're trying you're trying to keep things moving while these these
chuckle fucks are on the improv stage i respect that i respect don't forget our patrons
thank you thank you mr washing
that's true clean clean close come along clean clean i forgot about close
oh i forgot about close too i was wondering why there was a dinosaur but i just
in this group you know what i'm assuming i'm seeing as we enter this way it looks like a railway like a
production line it looks like um do i spot an elevator on the far end there is blood on the floor
the blood is leaking out from a room to the north that is filled with hexagonal worker pod beds that
are stacked on top of each other there is a conveyor belt that is used to assemble servitors the
servitors have run out of meat parts yet there is blood everywhere go
dursta why are you so you're so really frustrated what's going on
fuck off
it's like there's an abrupt cut that no one's going to notice of you disconnecting 50 times
all right all right so so roose begins to kind of like you know take out the defensive position
up front as it kind of enters the room kind of scanning around um can i roll a
you apologize uh the awareness check to see what roose sees
yes what's the difficulty number difficulty let's go three please all right hey guys watch this
i got two it's gonna be so good yeah i was gonna say by a two you mean a fail so
uh you got a zero it's all clear sir well really uh i can't wait till i look at this room and i say
what in good heavens is happening here everything with you guys is all blood and skulls and all that
it reminds me of the summer i spent in comera several of the the blood you spent the summer
in comera to be in like an eight-plated star arrangement hmm well that doesn't look very good
what's that i think i've seen that one somewhere before yes i i it is passingly familiar to me as
well let me quickly roll a scholarship reminds me of that guy we saw at the elevator oh yes the one
that the one that rusa threw down to his death yes that one yeah yeah him and all of his twin brothers
wait is the elevator that was with the servitor or no no this was years ago wait i mean it wasn't
well i guess now it is i guess this was like a decade ago
a different elevator by the way different elevator brinkie different elevator oh damn okay never mind
it seems so yeah what's up man i know that we've not always gotten along and we've always had our
differences anyway you go first i was gonna say we haven't always gone off on the right foot but i
don't think you're having one of those anymore oh you're definitely oh get walking walking at least one
of us can do walking that was good that was good that was good oh my god it's okay come here come here
when i get back to the ship i'll give you a much better automatic that was just an emergency one
that will have a bunch of bells and whistles it'll be so cool and you can shoot him all you want with
with your shot oh my god yes and my ship tell me my ship is fine even though i don't have a bombardment
camera tell me it's my ship is totally fine even though it doesn't have a bombardment camera
thank you i need to do it ruse taps alden soldier excuse me sir don't believe a word of what i say
uh yes yes ruse yes yes how can i help you i can only help you know protect your body i can't protect
your feelings i need you to move on oh you are the best among us without question he's so kind i'm
starting to feel a little bit empathetic soldier go stand in the middle of that chaos circle until i tell
you not to okay hey thurston can i can i roll something real fast now that i'm seeing all this
crazy bullshit yeah yeah can i can i do a little little psychic thing thingamajig can i do uh my
sinus sign of sinucians yeah i don't know how you pronounce that one check my sinuses
yeah your sinuses yeah you can give me a sinuses check all right i roll for sinuses
oh clear ass sinuses uh clear ass sinuses that is seven successes on a dn of three uh shifting
doesn't do anything for me this this is the this is the symbol the the the unadorned marking of the
primordial annihilator that will inevitably come for your entire species as as a chaotic pantheon of
warp dwelling entities um instinctively you reach for your soul stone to protect yourself only to realize
it's not there oh fuck aisha's fucking tip fuck
i i i kind of i kind of cower a little bit because i'm hearing a lot of expletives coming from
a psyker
it's fair oh god
bleeding this way omega protocol annihilation sir
uh yes i'd prepare yourself for some and make a protocol annihilation and i looked through my little uh
flip deck to remind myself what i'm making god there so i aim my gun at kill ron
oh no no no no no no no no no no no no omicron protocol annihilation omicron oh okay i start charging at
cal rana okay i give cal rana a hug
oh much better she needs the support these dry times i begin to squeeze her to death
good now kill her
wait wait wait no my soul stone uh i have to dig for that but you know this room is
all fucked up with the ruinous powers
and all that bullshit.
What the hell is a soul stone?
Grok shit.
The funny glowing rock that I always had
on my person.
Just go get another rock. There's rocks everywhere.
Roos has a funny glowing rock.
Use his.
That's not...
That funny glowing rock is already occupied.
I need an unoccupied funny glowing
special rock.
Can you hear this shit, Aloysius? She wants to live in a rock.
Not in a ship or a spacious
cabin. I grab Aloysius
by the front of his lapels.
Hello?
Wait, no. Not Aloysius. Alden.
A-Names. You did it too!
Fuck you!
It's not just me.
It's not so hard, is it?
It's not so hard. I grab Alden
by his lapels.
You listen here. You listen here. I need my fucking
funny special rock or I'm gonna be brought into the infinite
sex dimension forever when I die and it's gonna
fucking suck. You know what? It'll
fucking suck so
fucking much.
That doesn't sound of all
the infinite...
I think this was supposed to happen in the infinite
sex dimension.
Yeah, I was about to say you're not
selling this, though.
Are you being a prude, Calrana?
No, it's not
in a good way. It's bad.
It's really fucking bad.
It's like...
It's just she who thirsts.
Who cares?
It's just she...
Is it...
Is it...
Is it silly?
Is she, though?
You can't say it.
I can say it because my race isn't psychically damned.
You're about to be psychically damned.
You know, Roos hasn't grown as many extra arms as I thought he would have,
standing in that circle.
Okay, nothing much is happening, sir.
Ding!
The elevator beeps and opens.
Oh, look, sir.
An elevator.
I begin to walk to it.
There's just a greater demon in there.
After Roos begins walking to the elevator,
Alden will say,
Roos, walk to that elevator!
Roos walks to that elevator.
God, he's so good.
Come on, sir.
All right, and I'll look at Kloos.
Kloos, clean this up.
Clean.
Clean.
Clean.
This will go well.
This is going to be good.
Clean.
This is going to go great.
This is already, honestly, it's not as bad.
I mean, I lost, actually, yeah, no,
this is pretty much the worst of my adventures so far.
I don't think so.
I think I'm having a wonderful time with you, Captain.
Also, is it technically a she, when you think about it?
What?
You know, the sex dimension thing?
What do you know about that?
It's gender, though.
You really got open your mind.
Yeah, you know what?
That's all right.
How do you have that information?
Don't they call it, like, a prince?
It was a ROP course in night training.
They taught you about the Ruiners' powers in night training.
I can actually vouch for that.
Of course.
When I was in night school, very briefly, I did.
You were in night school?
Yeah, very, very briefly.
I didn't do so good.
I didn't want to keep it, but preliminarily, they did tell us everything about the Ruiners'
powers and asked us.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
The sex dimension was an elective.
Yeah, I almost did.
I almost did take it, but I wound up, no, I wound up doing it.
Yeah, it's all right.
You would have failed it, I don't know.
Yeah, I know.
I'm not really that sexy.
I'm not sexy.
I didn't go to the Ruiners' powers.
Yeah, you did the autistic route and joined the ships.
Yeah, I decided to do it.
I disagree, Captain.
You've got the power peg.
You really think so, Simso?
Maybe I've misjudged you.
I do think the captain, you know, I would believe he got power pegged, yeah.
I mean, I'm in the Navy.
We have a reputation.
Boy, this is taking a long time.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Between the power peg and the lobster claw, you two make two halves of a whole terrible night
on a pleasure planet.
Damn.
That's right.
It's very, very...
I've had...
Listen, I've had some bad time.
You know, this one time I wound up arranging to have sex with a prostitute, but actually
I misunderstood, and they wound up rolling her up into a cigarette, and I wound up having
to smoke her.
Yeah, she tasted quite good, Captain.
You remember that one?
Oh, that was a good time, Salosis, but also very bad, because the family was devastated.
Is that where the stogie came from?
No, not that one.
That was different.
Ding!
How much flesh do you have in your fucking items everywhere?
Is everything just people meet with you?
Oh, yeah.
Oh.
The room opens.
They don't call it awful for nothing.
Eugh.
Sorry, Thirst.
The room opens.
Let's do what it's doing.
Here we go.
So you want to hit it again, Voss?
You want to hit it again once more?
Now it's the opposite problem.
Now everyone is talking.
No!
Okay.
Door opens to a large shipping and packing area.
Boxes are strewn about, as well as vast munitorum crates.
There is a massive set of wide doors that are sealed to the north, along which there are several
catwalks.
The pulsing, humming core of the facility is located to the west.
There are stairs that you can see that lead up to the edges.
However, above the core, suspended above it, is what appears to be a large metal coffin, suspended
above it by various chains held above the power source.
The coffin itself has sort of a hatch on top of it that would allow access in.
Scurrying about the area is a red-robed priest of the Adeptus Mechanicus, who kind of wanders
around a variety of the areas here in these gantries.
And we'll see if I can drop down a fellow here.
Just give me one sec.
Boop.
Yeah, right here.
Um, so you can see this, this tech adept who is, uh, walking around.
Uh...
Aloysius, do you know that guy?
I don't just know everything.
Oh, so when I say it, it's, it's, it's a problem.
But when you say it, it's somehow okay.
I never said that it was okay.
I'm telling you right now, it's not okay.
You're making generalizations here.
Aloysius!
No, no, it is okay when I say it.
It always is.
Because I'm, like, always right.
That's the thing with the Eldar, you know?
We've never been wrong.
And, uh, if anybody tells you that.
Of course, you don't have so long, which is why you fucked a garden to exist.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, I wasn't there.
Wait, I thought we don't, we don't know that, that you're an Eldar.
Is that...
No, no, no, we do, actually.
We do all, though.
Oh, oh, oh, okay, okay.
We all know that no one else got that figured out, though.
Lucky five episodes in, we've moved, I swear to God, like, 60 meters.
And we have finally learned that Odo is an Eldar.
And Odo!
Congratulations!
Simsel's finding it out.
I would like to think that this is the first time Simsel realized that.
Yeah.
He just thought she was ugly.
Just those mitts.
And very tall.
Yeah.
And emaciated, too, like imperial peasants.
Yeah, yeah.
Anyway, Aloysius, why don't you introduce...
Oh, sorry.
No, Mr. Obtuse, can you, can you take me...
Can I get on your back?
Obtuse!
This is, like, looking around, going, hey, sir, there's a person there.
Yeah, that's not...
He looks at you.
You have no problem, sir.
I want to see that coffin.
Oh, okay.
So he picks up Simsel.
Okay.
And starts bringing him over to the tech priest in the coffin, which I assume is this big thing in the middle, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So there's, like, these stairways that lead up, so you can all kind of shiver your way over there.
Yeah.
Do I find being carried by Roos to be, like, particularly enjoyable?
Yeah, you're actually, like, having currently the time of your life.
That's fucking great.
Good to hear.
Good to know.
Good to know.
Like, this might be just the highlight of your life, Simsel.
Whee!
You know, you know what, Alden?
Maybe I misjudged you.
Really?
Maybe.
Greetings!
Oh, I guess we're already at the end of that one.
Hi there!
I am Captain Alden Rosh of the Bird of Paradise.
Are you insane?
It depends what your definition of sanity is.
Hello!
Hello!
Greetings!
Greetings!
We have noticed all the eight-pointed stars everywhere.
I'd like to, I'd like to...
Oh, that would be an upstairs problem.
It's not that problem!
It's not that problem!
It's not that problem!
I'd like to...
I was gonna say, I'd like to hop off Roos.
I want to investigate the coffin.
Yeah, yeah, so you can go up the stairs while they're fucking chatting.
All right, cool, cool, cool.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Whatever's going on over there.
We're in the upstairs problem.
Sorry.
Bro really is working retail down here.
That is not my department.
That's not my problem.
Are you here?
To perform the pick-up.
This is pick-up and shipping, after all.
Uh, maybe.
Roos already picked him up.
He did!
It was very fun.
What, what exactly would we be picking up?
Well...
At this point, I thought you would be the ones.
Were you not briefed on this?
Oh, well, about that.
We all, of course, know, um...
I guess I'm climbing up the chains and shit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, at this point, I'll just shimmy you.
Like, you're in, like, the center point of the coffin.
Oh, that's a little frightening, but okay.
Opening the hatch and all that.
Um, as you're getting closer, um...
Sorry, say your question again, Alton.
Oh, I mean, of course, you know, we all, we all know.
I mean, really.
But just to confirm, you know, what the situation is.
Just, you know, walk us through it, they say.
Can I make a cunning check?
Yeah, absolutely.
Uh, difficulty four.
Got it, bot.
Let's roll.
Let's roll.
Oh, my God!
And successes.
And we get a glory.
Can I, can I shift this to get more information?
Several things.
Yes, yes, you can.
Uh, in fact, the shift is very important here.
Um, several things happen at once.
Um, Simpsil, I assume you're, like, hopping into whatever, like, looking in, peering in to whatever this, this, this thing has inside of it.
Yeah, yeah, I kind of want to lift the lid up and kind of see what's, what's inside.
What's it looking like?
And all that jazz.
Yeah, yeah, sure.
You're doing that.
As this is going on, um, the rest of you on the ground level, um, you, like, you, you notice Alden, who is like, oh, like, like, obviously, like, you know, you can, you can explain what this is.
And the, the, the tech adept begins to go wide.
Ah, yes, of course.
I, I was thinking that maybe you would not, uh, understand fully.
They do not brief them.
Everyone, we are, we are all cogs.
We are all cogs of, of, of, of the true Mechanicum.
Yes?
Oh.
All of us.
Oh, totally.
Yes, absolutely.
Without question are we cogs.
Sure.
We're all about the true Mechanicum.
Mechanicum.
Yeah, being cogs is great.
The creation cannot be denied.
I was just thinking the other day about the true Mechanicum, which I really like.
Yes.
I'm all about it.
Mm-hmm.
As we know, one day Mars will be ours again.
But until that day, we must prepare in secret.
And we are ready now that you are here with us.
And you have delivered the Anointed.
Right.
That sounds awesome.
Yeah, Mars.
Yeah, that's great.
We're going to Mars.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm on board.
We have prepared one of the vessels.
It is, it is so blessed that you were able to bring them here through the auspices and guises and eyes of the corpse.
What?
Definitely.
I'm so hungry.
We cut back to your hunger and the breathing.
And you see, it is absolutely very critical that all of you understand this, because we have reason to believe that a heretical operative is attempting to gain access to what the possessed servitors have been constructing.
I just, I'm, like, really into all kinds of crab.
Like, I like king crab legs, but also blue crab legs and snow crab legs.
Simsel, you've entered the area.
There is a, there are various technological components and augmented slots and whatnot that feed into this area.
However, there, it seems as though the walls inside this coffin have a small slot.
Um, something that the entire chamber seems to have been built around, as though it were waiting for it.
And I assume this is about, about a couple inches, give or take?
Yeah, give or take.
All right.
Um, I reach into my pocket and I pull out Kelrana's soul stone.
Yeah.
And I place it directly into the slot.
Sweet.
Excellent.
This is, this is good.
This is good.
Um, a couple other things are about to happen here.
Just give me a little moment.
Just gonna fade you out of existence.
The coffin begins to stir.
What?
Um, as there are decompression locks that break, um, and the, the doors to this edifice open, um, they unleash something, um, something that is particularly large and ponderous.
Just that steps forth from inside it.
Um, you know, just give me one sec here.
I think, I think I have a, I think I have an interesting, uh, approach to this.
Just give me, you know what, this should, this should work, I think.
Yeah, this is, this is gonna work.
Um, I'm just gonna drop this.
I'm gonna actually shimmy all of you back just a bit to make this more make sense here.
Perfect.
Just, uh, drop this right here.
Um, as a mechanized frame begins to emerge from the coffin.
Hey, um, Bricky.
Yes, sir.
Can you do the thing?
Yeah, I can do the thing.
Oh, no.
There we are.
Excellent.
Cool.
All right.
Um, so.
Oh, no.
So, you know.
Oh, shit.
Well.
Well.
Um, hold on.
Wait a minute.
What?
So, uh, Spricky, would you like to describe the, uh, the construct that emerges from the coffin?
Ah, yes.
Yes.
Yes.
The, the, the, uh, armature that was, uh, uh, headed from the top of this, of this mount.
Uh, the personal, uh, the personal, personal steed of the dread blade, Minsel, Minselmin, arising from the bottom.
The, the war dog.
Shit.
Briggins the gun.
One carnivore's the other one.
What's the one that has the gun and the sword?
Uh.
Uh, I used to know this.
Uh, the chaos traitors starts giggling.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, uh, let's see here.
There is a whole monologue inside the.
Wait a second.
I know exactly which one this is.
One moment.
I forget this, which one this is called.
It's either the stalker or the executioner.
It's the stalker.
That's the one.
It's the stalker.
The war dog stalker owned and piloted by Minselminselmen.
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
Uh, I'm going to immediately, uh, raise my Reaper chain cannon at Kelrana.
Okay, perfect.
Oh, fuck.
Let's, let's go into, uh, let's go into some, some initiative here.
Also, good, like, really good job for, uh, our artist Skelly for doing a little, little
art update for us.
For those of your audio listeners.
You know, I, Zoran likes to do a lot of the production here, but Bricky and I had a
little fun on the side, uh, you know, just, just a little, a little thing.
Oh, God.
You ever wondered why you never understood the briefing?
Yeah.
Oh.
Fucking put chaos in our brains.
Just a little, there's a little chaos happening in the brains.
That or we're just dumb.
Oh, my.
Oh, thank God.
Oh, I thought I was the asshole.
Oh, cause I was thinking the entire time he was really rude and mean.
And I was thinking, well, maybe I just, maybe I'm not nice.
Maybe I'm being closed.
I was like, no, he's, now I get it.
Okay.
Oh, fuck.
All right.
The armature gets to go first.
Lovely.
All right.
Uh-oh.
Calranna.
Calranna.
Seize.
Seize.
Seize the initiative.
Seize.
Seize.
I'd like to see.
If anything else, it makes them spin a ruin if they have to.
Yeah, I think we should seize.
Seize.
That's something we should seize.
I'll spend a rune.
Just, maybe still continue on.
It's okay.
Lovely.
They have less than us.
They have less than us.
Love it.
So, so, I, I.
Are we just going to burn through all the wrath and ruin?
No.
No, no, no.
You can only do it once.
We win.
We win.
They lose.
Lovely, lovely.
So, I lift my chain gun.
It's a bit crunchy and a bit, a little old.
It's a little, a little tough here, and I point directly at Calranna and I say, the sex dimension awaits you, Eldar.
They're always saying this.
They're always saying this to me at the club.
Oh, crap.
I did the test instead of aiming at Calranna, my bad.
One second.
Click.
T.
There we go.
And then, a couple ammo.
Oh, you complicated.
Still going to succeed, though.
That's good.
All right.
Do I roll damage or complication first?
So, you roll the complication first.
Click and click.
The sex dimension awaits you.
The sex dimension awaits you.
The sex dimension.
Whoa, whoa.
Do you want to read out what it says, Brittany?
Oh, yes.
My apologies.
Fall prone.
The player, your attack cost, you just slip and you fall prone.
Yeah, just hold on.
Look out for that banana peel.
That's the worst one you could have rolled, dude.
Roll damage.
Listen, I'm in a goddamn walker.
I'm worried.
Here's damage.
Ow.
Okay, you'll take 13 points of damage, Calranna, with AP2.
I like a million fortitude.
I don't like to do my fortitude.
Yeah, you can determination some of that, yeah.
Yeah, determination.
That's what it's called.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's very pog.
Oh, that's not pog.
That's really sad.
That's more than less pog, I think.
That's notably less pog.
Yeah.
Uh-oh.
You'll convert one.
Let's do some basic math here.
I'll check for you.
I got you, friend.
Your resilience is seven.
So your effective resilience is five.
You're going to take eight wounds.
Oh, this is really good.
So you, with that roll, you manage to soak one of them.
So you'll take one shock out of your 11, and then you'll take seven wounds.
Oh, great.
How many wounds do you have, Calranna?
Say it again.
Seven.
Well, that's cool.
Let's go read up on the murder injury charts, shall we?
You diabolical madness.
It's a good thing you play slow as Soto.
Yeah, exactly.
I just got a new herald to add to my army.
For out of game, this is very cool.
Thanks for sending it up.
Oh, yeah.
This is absolutely a bricky idea that he came to me with in a fucking fever dream.
And I was like, this explains the brief.
This explains the brief.
It explains the meanness to Alden.
Yeah.
It's just all the little bits and pieces.
It's good.
It's good.
Hey, Bricky.
Yes, sir.
Roll me a d6 to see what kind of memorable injury you impart upon the filthy Eldari.
Oh, you get a battle scar.
There is a battle scar.
You can choose the battle scar that you have, Calranna.
Oh, I pick it.
Yeah, sure.
I mean, he probably shot me directly in my stupid elf chest.
So probably just blowing a giant hole through the armor up past, like, the neck, kind of up in the collarbone, reaching around.
Skadoosh.
In fact, I'm just going to narratively say you go flying back 10 feet.
Yeah, just skidding.
Just, like, skidding past Roos.
And then, like, as you have this, the banana peel occurs, and you slip and fall.
The armager is currently.
I imagine that, like, after firing the gun, all the wires and stuff were above, and it kind of, like, the recoil caught me off balance.
Yeah, and, like, when this chaingun fires, it fires just a single bullet.
Like, it's not the full thing.
It's just, like, a single shell goes flying, and it hits Calranna.
Oh, I'm only toughness three.
Goddamn, what was this?
One shot?
What did you do, Archmegos?
I did everything I could.
Don't judge me.
It was another department's problem.
Yeah, that was the downstairs people.
Oh, my fucking God.
The downstairs people.
Fuck that up.
Who would like to go next, now that the armager is God?
I actually am going to say we have the armager prone right now, which is a fucking blessing from the divine God Emperor.
That is.
I'm going to take a look at Aloysus.
Aloysus, get the pilot hatch open.
I will do the best I can, Captain.
This is out of character.
I also could assist in making this a little bit faster for you two, Alden and Bruce.
Remember that funny thing how I just kind of know where to strike things?
I would dare say this would probably be considered an elite, or at the very least, an adversary.
I know we're kind of cracked.
We're kind of goaded.
But I think an armature is out of our depth enough.
I mean, fair.
Pushes up glasses.
A war dog.
It's true.
That's true.
That's true.
Armature is in parenthetical.
For listeners, Hulky, what do you plan?
Well, I'm planning on identifying weakness and doing a scholar check to assist my teammates.
Those are do you mind there.
Yeah.
Here, let me go on the closer.
So I'm planning on doing a little scholar check, because I have this funny talent called identify weakness.
It gives my allies plus to ED against an elite or adversary.
That's extra damage.
It's nice.
I'm going to do a scholar check first.
Yeah.
Okay.
Do it up.
Is there a DM for it, or is it just like roll and see what kind of results?
Difficulty on this will be five.
Sure.
Do that.
Waiting for it.
That is nine successes and two shifts.
Yeah.
So that is absolutely going to allow you to analyze this thing and give everyone your bonus.
Perfect.
Perfect.
Captain Roos, aim for the wires just beneath the head coupling.
That should be a means to immobilize it.
If not, sever his control entirely.
Hopefully, I'm going to do the best I can from up close.
Go on, sir.
All right.
I'm going to.
Oh, sorry.
Do your thing.
Oh, no.
I just.
Nope.
That's really all I can do.
This is action economy.
Okay.
So that was that.
That was.
Hulkster went next.
Who would like to go next?
Roos.
I'd clamber aboard.
It'd probably be good if you shoot now just to lay some damage.
I ain't shooting this fucking thing.
I'm using my power sword.
I'm.
My plan.
And what I think you should also do is it's prone.
Yeah.
We're going to climb on top.
Are you clambering aboard?
What the.
Me?
Yeah.
Sorry.
I cut out again.
Thanks, Discord.
Are you clambering aboard?
Well, first.
Roos looks at Aldi.
Do you want me to go, sir?
Follow me, Roos.
To glory.
I declare a charge.
But I'll try to get on top of the thing.
Be like.
Try to like.
Rip it open with my strength.
Yeah.
So here's what we'll do.
Move yourself adjacent.
Perfect.
I'm going to get both you and the armature war dog to both give me athletics tests.
Ah, shit.
Sounds good to me, boss.
Hey, what's its athletics?
Well, we'll find out together.
Oh, man.
Would you like to go first, Zorin?
Yeah.
You know what?
Roos can go first.
Oh, oh, that's like a.
That's like a pro looking at a novice going like.
Go on, champ.
I'll let you get the first swing.
Yeah.
Honestly, you probably have more dice than compared to the next.
Let's see what happens.
Here's my seven athletics.
You want me to post that a DN for anything or just.
There's versus.
No, no DN.
No, I'll put DN zero and then it should.
All right.
Rolling.
Oh, I got six so far.
I want to.
Do I dare?
I mean, do we roll simultaneously and then he can choose to apply points or is it?
Yeah.
So now you can.
OK, gotcha.
Incommon.
Oh, we're even.
I have two shifts, though.
The shifts don't matter in this instance, but.
But, but, but.
Hey, team.
I'm going to.
I need.
I'm going to spend the rune point.
Oh, no.
Add some extra dice here.
Just give me.
Give me a second.
Mark me down a rune point, please.
Very well.
Ah, delicious.
There we go.
Oh.
Oh, I get that rune point back, too, baby.
Oh, dear.
Oh, fuck.
Dash.
Fellas.
Oh.
The only way I could beat him is if we spend our glory.
Yeah.
I believe.
What else are we going to spend it on?
Another bit?
Go for it.
Go for it.
Go for it.
Go for it.
One, two, three, four.
The bits have served you so fucking well up until this point.
Bet you regret not eating those crab cakes now.
True.
I was at full health.
That's fair.
Team, how many glory am I allowed?
All of it.
All of it.
Jesus.
All of it it is.
Go for it.
Go for it.
Also think I should spend a wrath to also re-roll that one.
Just to give me a little bit of an extra thing.
So I'll wrath first and spend all the glory.
So that's going to put me down to nothing now.
Yes.
Oh, good lord.
Do it.
Okay.
I'm going to re-roll that.
Got another one.
Got another one.
I got seven total.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
But it's seven versus the ten.
I'm now going to roll four die.
I'm going to do it one at a time.
Okay.
First die.
Failure.
No.
Second die.
Failure is a one.
Failure.
I need.
Only way I can get this.
Roll these both simultaneously.
Roll them now.
They don't show very well on the foundry thing.
I'm trying to do it quickly.
Do your dreams.
Did we just lose Thurston again?
Yes, we did.
There he is.
That's good.
He's back.
All right, Thurston.
I'm rolling the last two dice.
There's the next one.
And then the next one.
It's another one.
Oh, I got three.
One.
What?
Are you fucking kidding me?
Hey, machinations of chaos.
I know the ruinous powers.
Shit, man.
Oh, my God.
Oh, that's such bad luck.
Any bonuses from that exposed weakness scholar check?
Yeah.
No.
I've killed the DM.
Thurston was the first casualty.
Is it still fucking up?
Oh, there you are.
No, you're good.
You're here.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay, fuck.
Sorry.
It's hard for me to tell something.
So, if you roll a six, because you do get the one extra dice from Hulkies things.
If you roll a six here, you'll tie it.
That could make all the difference, really.
Oh, okay.
Chat, give me your power.
Everyone, give me your power.
I need a six.
A six to win.
I'm tired.
I get it.
It's the one.
Here we go.
No.
No.
Roos is tossed back five feet away.
As you watch the Battle of the Titans, as this thing slowly is starting to get back up.
It hasn't quite gone, but it's enough to hurl Roos back.
Take a piece of the chain can, lift it up, and go bonk.
Well, it's not your go, because that was Roos.
No, I meant we'll push them away kind of thing.
Oh, yeah.
It's Alden or dead Rana.
Dead Rana.
The great Alden Roche.
I have less in my athletics pool.
Roos basically rolled the perfect athletics and still lost.
I don't think I'm going to manage to clamber aboard.
So here's what I am going to do.
Okay.
I'm going to come over here.
Yep.
I'm going to take some cover.
Yep.
And I'm going to empty my hotshot volley gun.
Okay.
Which I think on tabletops would be like hitting on like sixes or wounding on sixes.
So we'll see how that goes for me.
See, I believe in you.
All right.
Cool.
Yeah, right.
My belief matters.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
All right.
So DN3, I'm full autoing, and that adds four dice.
And an extra for exposed weakness.
And an extra for exposed weakness.
Where am I adding this?
ED or the Ape?
Just ED.
Just add it to.
Or sorry, not ED.
Be sure the target, the token first, and then click your weapon attack.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And can I make a called shot?
Yes, you can.
I would like to called shot.
So remember that for called shots, it's like the size of what you're doing then changes the added damage die, right?
Yeah.
You know what?
I'm not going to make a called shot.
I think I'm fine.
Okay.
All right.
Let's rock.
You insipid traitor!
All right.
That's six successes with one ship possible.
I'm going to wrap this, since I think I might be about to die.
Fair.
All righty then.
There is a complication, but that's nine successes.
I'm going to add three of those ships.
To damage?
Two damage.
So make sure to mark them.
Yes, absolutely.
Does he get bonus dice as well?
He got the bonus dice from your thing.
Oh, they already got it.
Okay.
What's my complication?
Restraint.
I'm wrapped up in some wiring.
Okay.
I'm actually going to make a specific adjustment here.
Sure.
The tech adept is going to have rushed it over to you during this and starts like, man,
no, you must not interfere.
Get off of me, you damn.
No, no.
It is holy, do you not see?
We must go back to Mars.
I don't want to work here anymore.
This place is the worst.
You could have just fucking gone anywhere else.
You didn't have to do all this stuff and make me lose my leg on this horrible planet.
Why don't the people in the upstairs, they won't let me leave.
I'm going to roll damage.
Okay.
I'm going to try to roll damage.
I'm trying to.
Nothing.
Is it not?
No.
Let me refresh.
Okay.
We love foundry when it, when, when it works.
We really love the buttons, please.
Is that doing nothing, boys?
Oh, no.
Okay.
One sec.
That's weird.
One sec.
Well, you got three shifts to damage.
Yes.
Sorry, what's up?
I was going to say, just re-roll it, and then we'll target it correctly this time, and then try it.
And then just click the damage button, and then we can add the app.
Yeah, actually, yeah.
If you just target it, then that's actually fine, yeah.
Just roll another attack on it.
Sure.
Okay.
Yeah, I can see if the target, you didn't target last time.
I did target, is the thing.
Might have been something to do with that thing.
If that doesn't work this time, then just do it with me.
Actually, it's funny, because you've got three shifts here.
Yeah, I got the exact.
You could just shift those and do it now.
Excellent.
Nope.
Not letting me click roll damage.
Oh, well.
Why is it weird?
Oh.
One sec.
Do you not have ammo in your volley gun, because it has ammo zero?
Oh, I should.
I should have ammo.
That should not fucking matter.
It gets weird sometimes with this.
I don't know why.
Let me do that.
Okay.
Now click roll damage.
Okay.
No.
It's cursed.
Not a lot to roll damage.
This will be easy.
We will go, and we will do this the manual way, like God intended.
Is damage 10?
Yeah.
It's me.
Roll four dice.
There.
4d6 is the damage.
5 extra damage.
You got it.
So, 4, 5.
So, you'll get 5 extra damage.
So, your actual damage on this gun is 10.
You'll add 5 from that APT.
So, that will...
What about the 3 shifted?
That was the extra dice.
Okay, okay, cool.
So, that adds to your dice.
All right.
So, 15 damage AP2.
15 damage AP2.
So, 2.
This will take 5 damage.
However...
However...
The Armager does get to make Determination.
Which it will...
Yes.
Yeah.
So, I'm just going to roll that real quick.
This is something I have to roll, so...
No worries.
No worries.
Bear with...
Okay, cool.
It converts.
It takes 5 shock.
However, it still technically takes damage here.
So, roll me a D3 speaker.
You got it.
I'm just going to roll a...
Let me do it.
That's a 1.
Minsel, you take 1 point of shock damage as you are jostled around the cockpit.
Gotcha.
Do I just add the 1 to where it says shocks?
Yeah, just add it to your sheet.
Yeah.
Gotcha.
Okay.
Done, done.
Cool.
You've triggered, bastard!
Gotcha.
Okay.
As you blast into it, you are searing...
Like, you're hitting it with so many shots.
You're searing off the, like, profane iconography, bearing down to its metal.
But you aren't, like, piercing.
You're just jostling this titan that's trying to stand up in place.
Kelrana.
Yeah.
Am I conscious?
So, um, kind of.
So, at this point, you are in the dying phase.
Ah.
So, when you are dying, um, you are prone, uh, whenever you take any damage that would cause you to take a wound, you suffer a traumatic injury.
Um, you can only, uh, do certain actions.
So, essentially, uh, you have one traumatic, or you have no traumatic injuries right now, so you're actually really good.
You can essentially take a crawl, a basic combat action, or fallback.
Those are your options.
You can't stand up.
Crawl, combat, or fallback.
Okay.
Yeah.
Can't use medicaid on myself, either.
So...
You could, like, use a psychic power, if you want.
Oh, I could use a psychic power.
Yes.
That wasn't among the list.
Well, it's a combat action, because they do counter-
Ah.
Okay, okay, okay.
Hmm.
Hmm.
Um, all right, yeah, I'm going to kind of, like, sit up as best I can.
I'm going to stare into the, uh, uh, oculars of this, this canite, this war dog.
The canigit.
The canigit.
Um, and then I'm going to, I'm going to look directly at where I believe our good enemy,
Minsel, is, and I am going to cast Compel.
I'm going to speak with as much authority as I am, as I can muster, and Thirsten, I think
I would like to go transcendent for this.
Excellent.
Nothing can possibly go wrong.
Now is the time.
Nothing can possibly go wrong.
No soul stone, no balls.
Let's do it.
It's the time.
I am a corsair.
I am dancing on the knife's edge.
If I get blowed up for this, then maybe my friend, Zgorak, thinks that is funny.
Uh, anyway.
I'm going to wait to have Scarbrand show up.
Yay!
I can ask Scarbrand if he can be our friend for a little bit.
He's a notoriously very, very normal guy.
Um, yeah, I'm going to, uh, stare directly at Minsel, and I'm going to say...
Hmm.
You should roll the check first and then see what I'm convincing you on.
My little red eye stares right back at you on the war dog.
Transcending.
Oh my god, she's going transcendent!
And I complicate!
Yay!
Sixes, baby!
Wow, that's a lot of sixes.
But I also complicate.
That's four sixes on 11 dice.
Good lord.
Oh my god.
I needed those sixes in my roll.
You're a monster.
Alright.
That's pretty good.
Uh, I'm going to shift, uh, two of those to increase the DN.
Okay.
Um, shift.
Oh, it's not...
Wait, hold on.
I have to shift for potency, not just shift regular style.
There we go.
There you go.
Um, and then I will shift two more for plus one round duration.
Okay.
Alright.
Oh, shift is...
Yeah.
I think you have to do plus one DN, plus one round, because it's two for the round duration.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Uh, I'm trying to shift all four.
It's, it's not...
I thought you only had three shifts.
You only have three shifts possible.
Oh, only three shifts possible.
Right, right, right.
I am, I am...
So, one and one.
Yes, yes, yes.
One and one.
One and one.
Cool.
Alright.
Um, so...
Uh...
I'm going to...
The Armager Mimsel, you should be able to click the DN5 willpower.
Test there.
DN5 willpower test.
I can click that.
Yeah, I think it'll let you do it for the Armager, so let's do that.
Bada bing.
Oh!
Oh.
Uh...
Close.
That is close.
How many rune points do I have left?
Got three.
Oh, yeah, I don't want to let you fucking rune it this early.
Uh, I'm just going to help you out here.
Give it run.
A little, a little, a little, a little fell power here.
Perfect.
Excellent.
I'll pass with the complication.
That's okay.
I will.
I need to roll...
I will need to roll my complication, will I not?
Well, the order of operations here is actually going to be the perils of the warp first,
so let's get there.
Excellent.
Uh...
Uh...
Actually, no, it's only one.
It's only one.
Life drain.
Want to read it out for podcast?
Uh, a numbing cold washes out from you, leeching the very life essence of those within
25 meters.
Uh, every living creature within 25 meters immediately suffers one shock, and all lesser
life forms, plants, avians, insects, et cetera, wither and die.
Oof.
Ugh!
Ugh!
And, yeah.
Meh!
Meh!
Uh, I'm going to stare into the ocular of this, uh, uh, armager.
You should shoot yourself.
Yeah, it doesn't quite work, though.
So instead, roll the complication.
My ocular has, like, a weird roiling red kind of look back.
Uh, but...
Machine spirit.
Some technology in the scene malfunctions.
This could be something you own, something you're interacting with, or something in the
environment.
A stray servo, skull, or cherub could interrupt whatever you're doing.
Something is up with my ride.
I'm going to say, I'm gonna say, that this complication means that you, you are battling
against Kelprana's transcendent powers.
Um, you can take normal actions in your round, but you will not be able to stand up
or move.
So you will be able to shoot in your turn, but you will not be able to stand up or move
as you're, like, kind of stuck, hunkered down into this.
All right, fair enough.
That's going to be where Kelrana's go.
All right.
It's going to bring us to the next round.
So, uh, would that be myself?
That will be the Armager by default here.
Lovely.
So, while as much as I would love to take a very strong shot, I think I'm gonna prefer
if my, if everyone around me maybe had a little bit less, uh, a little bit less right to do
anything, um, so I am, instead of lifting up my gun, I am going to, uh, slam my chainsword on the,
uh, my Reaper chainsword on the ground, and I am going to blare my warhorns at max volume.
So I've got, I've got some cool news for you.
Cool.
What's up?
Um, that is, that is not a combat action for you.
Is it not?
That is just a, that is a, a, um, special action that you can perform.
I see.
Um, and so because it is a special action that you can perform, uh, you can essentially do it,
um, once at the onset of combat or once during combat.
So now you can let loose.
So this is just a free thing.
You'll still be able to shoot after this.
Oh, that's about my goodness.
Pretty dope.
That's pretty good.
Everyone else has to give a, um, difficulty three terror test.
Oh, we scared.
Oh, we're terror test.
Roos to, to, terror.
This is a resolve test against the difficulty.
Hey, Roos.
Joy.
Uh, you want to, you want to start us off your closest.
I think that's fair.
Yeah.
Uh, yeah.
Okay.
Thanks, Roos.
I'll have one die.
That's a, that's a complication.
No, that's not a wrath die.
No, no, it's not a wrath die.
It's, you don't, you don't complicate on these.
Uh, okay.
So, uh.
Roos is terrorized.
Um, so, uh, excellent.
Um, you're overcome with all consuming terror.
You have to run as far away as possible every turn.
Yeah.
But it's okay, because you have to get up first.
I'll just put the terror guy on you.
Excellent.
Very good.
Very punk.
Um, Captain Alden.
You got it.
Oh, damn, there he is.
Oh, my God.
The Captain, my fucking Captain.
Defiance.
Captain.
Yeah, four successes at the end of three.
Yeah, I assume that you're too busy, like, fucking fighting with your hotshot, like,
what's going on with this fucking, like, space Walmart clerk.
Damn off of me, you little freak.
No, I hear the chainsaw.
I don't, I don't, I don't miss it.
The one that's burring into the ground.
No, I'm just cool, and I keep my, I keep my cool.
Keep my cool.
I'm a cool guy.
I'm a cool guy.
Oh.
Time to terror.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Four.
Three.
Three.
Point to a damn point.
So I win.
I'm a cool guy.
I'm a cool guy.
I'm a cool guy.
Damn.
Well done.
Okay.
Three successes.
Hell yeah.
You would think that abomination's going to scare me.
I've made worse things than that.
Bricky, please remember that exact line for when you choose who to shoot this round.
Yeah, I kind of considering it.
Considering it.
Ah.
You also succeed.
Congrats.
No, I barely whiffed it from Corsair.
Oh.
I'm in the ocean.
That's right.
Corsair, you fucked.
You're going to have to start crawling away.
Uh, I'm, I'm, I'm going to spend a wrath.
You're going to spend a wrath?
I'm going to spend a wrath.
You're going to spend a wrath that you didn't, didn't spend on the crab cake.
Looks like it.
The well-placed crab cake, wrath.
Yep.
Yep.
The crab cake.
Not my crab cake, wrath.
Do it up.
Do it up.
Okay.
Got the one.
Got the one.
There you go.
You maintain your, your composure.
Excellent.
Excellent.
All right.
That was just your, your cool once a combat free action.
Now, what do you want to do?
Oh, great.
So I, I lift up, I lift up the, uh, the chain cannon and it's, and it's kind of sputtering
and stuff, right?
That, I got to slam it on the ground once or twice to kind of get it and shake.
I pointed at Roos and then I immediately turn and I point it directly at, uh, Aloysus.
All, all of you mechanicus do the exact same.
You all build like shit.
A bloody hell awaits you and the rest of your decrepit race.
And I fire at him.
Oh, except for me.
True mechanical.
Yeah.
I think, I think he's including you.
Get off of me now.
No.
All right.
That doesn't work.
You can turn him.
Oh, this is a, it's a very easy shot.
Oh, dear.
Yeah, that's a very easy shot.
Oh, sorry.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry.
Oh.
Oh.
Let's see what you rolled there, Ricky.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So we got, uh, four successes, uh, one shift and a wrath critical.
Hey, Hulky.
It's gonna roll that shift.
Yeah.
Just, uh, click that, click that six and then right click it and just.
Yeah, that's good.
That's good.
Wait.
Oh, wait.
This is re-roll failed.
You have to click.
You have to click the six and highlight it.
Oh, I see.
And then, yeah.
Shift to damage.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
And then roll critical.
Roll critical now.
Oh, this should be fun.
Headshot.
A William shot tears ragged chunks of the brain from the opponent's skull.
The foe reels such as a violent strike, unable to focus.
A fact, target suffers plus three wounds and is staggered.
Ow.
Okay.
So, so luckily you, you can't spend the glory.
No, I, I, you know.
Because you're not a player anymore.
You're just my puppet.
Um, that was not.
So, but that's, that's going to be three extra wounds and now roll the damage.
Oh, no.
Hey, hockey.
Yeah.
How you doing, buddy?
Pretty bad.
There's.
Yeah.
That would be a damage of 14 at AP two.
Well, let's, let's, let's, let's do some math here.
Um, Hulky, I assume you'd like to put some of this towards a determination, right?
I would love to attempt to a determination.
This one, Thurston.
Cause I bet you're really fucking wishing you had the crab cake boss.
Um, I was following help.
I was fine.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
That's fair.
That's fair.
All right.
So, um, here's what, here's what I'm going to need you to do.
Um.
Huh?
I'm going to need you to roll determination against, um, 11 wounds.
Oh, that's pretty bad.
That's pretty.
There is like a world where you could maybe survive this shot, but we'll see if that world
happens.
I, uh, I don't, I don't feel super confident in that.
I don't know.
You could just face tank the shot.
I mean, I certainly could, but face tank is a very literal way of putting what's going
to happen.
Correct.
Correct.
Okay.
So, uh, you, you didn't enter in the wounds, but that's okay.
You're going to convert four wounds.
So you're going to be max shock now.
So you'll take four off the incoming damage, which is, which is good.
Um, so 11.
You can't, uh, you can't, uh, wrath a determination, correct?
No.
And you are capped out, so it won't do anything.
And in fact, you're going to take seven more wounds, which will, uh, put you at your,
your cap.
So mark yourself eight out of eight as well.
Just be glad that Kelrana didn't like fucking warp reality now, or that would have been a
traumatic injury.
That would have been pretty bad.
I'm not going to lie.
So you can just mark your wounds up to full.
Um, and then I'm going to have, uh, my good friend, Ricky, roll me another D6 to see what
horrific injury you get, uh, from, from this, uh, lovely ship.
Ooh.
You rip a torn ear.
You rip off one of Aloysus's ears.
He has those.
That's where his brain is.
It's surprising, surprising that I still have those.
He's still got, well, not anymore.
Ah, no.
It's fine.
I didn't need, I was going to replace that one anyway.
I've always hated that stupid chrome dome of yours.
It's blinding me.
It is pretty shiny.
And you are now dying and prone.
Excellent.
This is fun.
Are they having fun?
Uh, who wants to go next?
I will.
Can't spell fun without F you.
It is important that I do.
Uh, as I struggle with this tech priestess, get off of me here.
Roos!
Remember your training!
The god emperor is with you!
You cannot die!
Uh, and I'm going to go ahead and make a leadership check.
Try to shake that terror off of my good buddy, Roos.
Yeah.
Yeah, difficulty here is, uh, three.
You got it.
Oh, god.
I do succeed.
I complicate.
And my complication is, something from my past goes back to haunt me.
An old wound flares up in pain.
Or I'm distracted by a memory.
You're not going to like this.
I know I'm not.
I don't like anything.
You're not going to like this.
You are, your, your, your past somehow has to do with this adept who is just not leaving
you alone.
Uh, your next action has to be to deal with this tech adept.
Get off of me!
Get off of me!
All right, very good.
I'll do that.
We'll come back to your, to your action next turn.
Absolutely, absolutely.
Who would like to go, one of the two, uh, walking corpses or crawling corpses or Roos?
We could get Kelronda to do another psychic master.
We could!
We could!
That could go pretty good!
Like, I'm not going to lie!
That could go really well!
Yeah.
I'm kind of fresh right now, fellas.
I kind of don't want her to help!
I have Roos get in there.
Why don't you want her to help?
That sounds like coward talk, Zoran.
I've been psyched before.
Zoran's got a problem with strong women.
Yeah, Zoran!
God!
I like how the narrative got changed for no reason.
Where are you?
Where are you, sir?
True.
Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit.
Yeah, let Roos go first, so if I inevitably complicate and drop a bloodthirster on his head,
he at the very least got to swing in first.
It'd be fucking awesome if we just dropped a bloodthirster and then vacated the area and
just all ran away.
Yeah, just close the door.
I'll be honest, I'll be honest.
Using Kelrana's soulstone to like fuel this thing was like the one thing that I was like,
okay, that at least will make them just stay and fight this rather than immediately run away
and just leave the planet.
Nah, we were going to fight this, all right?
Simpsons was my brother, dude.
I trusted it, it was my best friend.
Yeah?
Yeah?
Yeah?
All of those good times we had.
There was like a flashback and then the flashback ends immediately.
Ah, good times.
Yeah, I might have to errata the complication now, because Jamie just messaged me this great
idea of like crab cake digestive issue.
Oh yeah, just a fast problem.
Oh, his tongue hurts.
No, no, you still have to do it.
All right, Roost, do you want to go?
With my captain's rising words, like Roost goes, okay, do it.
I am a tractor.
I am a tractor.
It's true.
You are not what I said, Roost.
Okay.
What was the name of the tractor again?
It had a really good name.
Lionel John Deere.
Yeah.
Lionel John Deere, thank you.
Yeah, and it had the L by word for boobies on it.
Yes.
Because we're 12.
All right.
I charge.
I charge.
You know, ripper gun going at the ready.
I'm going to.
Yeah, I'm going to town on this guy.
I believe in you.
Yeah, sure, bud.
Yeah, you're good.
Yeah, sure, champ.
Yeah, you got this.
All right, charge it.
I believe in you, Roost.
Oh.
That is 10 versus DN3 with three shifts.
Yeah, you're going to hit it.
You're going to hit it.
You shouldn't have believed in him.
You shiv him.
All right, so what I'm going to do is I'm going to do two for damage.
I'm going to do one for glory.
That's a good call.
You probably need some glory.
Yeah.
Yeah, just in case we need that.
Yeah, I was going to say, you remember needing glory.
Smart move.
It's what happens when I give you an intense combat.
Now it's like fucking tactics.
And for damage, I got two extra ones.
So only damage, 10 AP minus one.
I've got some bad news.
Uh-oh.
Is the resilience higher than 10?
Correct.
God damn it.
Oh.
Well.
You're like, you hit it with the knife.
Like, oh, I got this.
I got this.
And there's like this ka-chunk sound.
Well.
As you just go into some metal.
Is the exposed weakness still in effect?
Oh, yeah.
You could roll another die.
Yeah, yeah.
If you get a six here, because this is on the attack roll.
So if you get a six here, you could shift it.
No.
No, no.
Okay.
I got a four.
I think that's fair.
I assume the Armager, like, or the war dog looks down at you.
Looks up at your face.
Looks down at the, looks down at the, like.
A little eyeball.
Revs the reaper chainsword a little bit.
Thirsten.
Aloysus, are you going to save us now?
Is this it?
Is this the Aloysus?
Is Aloysus going to pop off?
I was going to propose a narrative declaration.
The last of my home.
Is this the, like, crawl away?
Your home home.
No.
My narrative declaration I propose.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's much like a delayed release capsule.
What?
The football that Bruce ate.
Mm-hmm.
The other little bits of additives finally kicked in, and he can lock in.
I will.
Just to give him that little bit of an edge.
Didn't he eat two of these?
I don't remember if he ate two.
But if he ate two, the result would be doubled.
All right.
Here's what I'll do.
I'll allow you to go, and on your turn, you activate the football, and, like, the psychotropic drugs and, like, adrenal stims in Roos activate.
Um, as he has, like, I don't know, a Warcraft 2 ogre bloodlust sound happen.
Exactly.
Uh, he also turns red, um, and he'll get, uh, plus two to attack and plus two to damage one of those things.
We're bloodlusting.
We're bloodlusting.
We're bloodlusting.
We're bloodlusting.
Um, that...
Would you like to crawl a bit, too?
I'll allow you to crawl, too.
I would love to crawl a bit.
Yeah, yeah.
I'll, I'll, since you narratively declare it, I'll allow you to crawl for your regular action.
Fabius, bio, eat your heart out.
That's right.
For crawling.
Do I, do I have, uh, reduced movement, or can I move my full move?
You know, just for you, I'll say Aloysius can crawl as far as Aloysius can normally move.
Just for Aloysius.
Scuttle.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
I got you.
I'm a fair GM.
You're a fair GM.
I'll remember this later.
Thank you.
Nog is right here.
Just intercover.
Cool.
Cool.
That's gonna bring us to Kelrana.
Okay.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna look at him again.
Gonna grit my teeth.
Um, oh, God.
Yeah, we might need, we might need to hit him with some mortal wounds here.
See if I can get any damage off.
Yeah, I was about to say, you're the one who can get the armor.
I know.
Uh, Kelrana's just gonna grit her teeth, hold up a hand, and is just going to hit him with an empowered might.
I believe in you.
I believe in you.
Go.
I'll send it.
That wasn't very good.
That was fucking garbage.
You do have a wrath.
You have wrath.
Yeah, you do have a wrath.
I do have a wrath.
You do have a wrath, and it's so many chances for complications, and I want you to do it.
Do it.
Look, look, like, you, you might not have another turn after this, let's be honest.
Look, if you summon Scarbrand, it'd be, like, making the two kaijus fight.
We'd be like, let's do it.
Yeah.
I, I'm, I'm, I, that's the thing.
I wanted to save at least one narrative declaration to see if I can't, uh, um, save my poor ass.
But, uh, you know what?
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
I'm going to, uh, you know, all else fails, I'll become a fucking Yanari or something after this.
It's true.
That's what they're all about.
Or a corpse.
Or a corpse.
Um, and I'm gonna wrath it.
Fuck it.
Yeah, do it.
Do it, do it, do it.
Yeah.
One.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
Jeez.
But I am shifting both of these.
For podcast, it's now 10 successes for the DNA of four.
Three failures, two shifts possible, and complicated with only one of the past time.
Uh, I am going to, I suppose I will have to shift those into glory.
I cannot add damage.
Yeah, you need three for, uh.
For damage, yeah.
So, might as well, uh, charge up the glory a little bit, sending two over that way, so my, my, my beautiful party can have some.
Yeah, so, um, okay, so, uh, roll a D3.
D3?
That's how many mortal wounds.
The armor girl will take one wound.
One!
That's good.
It's got the wounded condition now.
It's gonna, it's gonna take a penalty now, so that's actually pretty, pretty useful.
Oh, and, uh, roll me a D3.
Uh, another D3.
Yep.
Yep.
Um, and so you're gonna take, uh, two shock.
Mmm.
As you're, continue to, like, be bounced around the canopy of, of the, of the armor girl.
Yeah, just sending in a bolt of pure psychic energy, and then I'm gonna perils.
Yes.
Oh.
61.
The veil thins.
The air within 25 meters of you thins, causing living creatures to suffer, suffer shortness of breath and dizziness.
All creatures without artificial breathing apparatuses are hindered by two for one minute.
In addition, one rat dice must be...
Yes!
Oh my God!
Fuck you!
Fuck you!
Alright, now we're shooting in the head.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
If you complicate with awful wrath, darling, on this episode, I'll consider it a good, good day.
You know why?
That is true.
That would be narrow.
That's how we get Scarbrand.
Yeah.
Holy shit.
Alright.
That's how we get fucking Vashtora to manifest.
Oh, heck yeah, my boy.
I'm, uh, look, the only fair way to do this is to go based off of the art, so that's gonna
hinder Roos.
Um, just gonna fly hindered here.
Oh, I'm hindered.
Yeah, you're gonna get hindered.
Uh, speaker will be hindered.
I'm hindered.
Ah, ooh, I'm so hindered right now.
I think Pelbrana is hindered.
I'll, I'll assume Aloysus is fine, and, um, the person inside the, uh, the mech suit
is protected.
Yeah.
Just, just screaming, swearing.
Just like, I'm making things harder for you guys!
We got this!
Ah!
To explain hindered for people, uh, something's on your back.
Well, hindered increases the DN for all tests by plus one, or higher, the rules of whatever
hindering you said so.
Hindered tests last until the end of the next turn, unless otherwise stated.
And for reference, it's hindered too.
So, technically all the DNs for the hindered people will be up by one from what you're
gonna see.
I just can't apply the two easily, because we're just that.
Yeah.
Um, all right.
Next combat round.
Yeah.
Bam!
That's the foghorn from Spongebob.
Oh, okay.
Uh, I, I, I assume the reaper chainsword is coming down.
The reaper chainsword is coming down.
I assume the, the action is to stand up from prone, which in this game does not prove okay.
And then chainsword come down on big ogre man.
Uh, big ogre man about to experience chainsword the size of, uh, close to the size of him, yes.
I can tank it.
I'll go this.
I can tank it.
I'll build different.
In, in, in, you're about to, you're about to be built in half.
Nuh-uh, that's not how you build things.
That's separating.
Okay, two shifts.
I'm, I'm gonna, I'm gonna give me, I'm gonna give myself some glory on this one, actually.
No, no, you're not.
No, no.
Oh, come on.
No, no, no, no.
You can't, you can't, you can't get glory for yourself.
That comes from my rune pool, sir.
Oh, those are rune.
Oh, you're so right.
Then damage it is.
Yeah.
Uh-oh.
Thank you.
I didn't know this robot was bitch made manifest.
I rescind my words.
Uh, that would be 17 damage in AP3.
Oh my god.
Oh.
That's a little bit of damage.
I gotta say.
So, let's see.
I have a resilience of nine.
Uh-huh.
And I got ten wounds total and three shock available.
So, if we do ourselves a little, little, you know, little determination.
I got five.
So, if I roll really well, you know, we could be really cool.
So, you're gonna take your, uh, if I do the, if I do this, you're gonna take 20 wounds.
Okay.
Uh, so I rolled, uh, a six, a six and three more.
Actually, I had 16 on all of them with the thing.
Uh, six wounds.
So, yeah.
So, that's basically.
Well, so only, only three of them can be converted.
Because you can't, like, over-convert.
So, you had one shock on you.
So, three of them get converted.
Um, and then you would have eight wounds.
Or, yeah, eight wounds.
Oh.
There we go.
Yeah.
Lovely.
Is that it?
Lovely.
Um, uh, I'm still in love, you sort of a bitch.
You ain't got nothing on me.
Bleeds on you.
That's the big, that's the biggest problem is I've got me on you.
Bruce, you're not, you're not doing so good.
Yeah, you should be, you should be so grateful.
Oh.
I have a question.
Yes.
Was the armature hindered?
No.
I, I, I specifically called out the armature is not affected.
Because it does count as having, like, a breathing apparatus.
Okay, but.
Aw.
Cool.
That was, that was, that was Minsel's fucking epic.
Like, literally, though, the chainsaws, like, tearing into Ruse's side.
Like, I had no bitch.
Like, blood is spraying everywhere.
We have Aloysius crawling away.
We have Kelrana, whose eyes are glowing and, like, tears are coming out.
Uh, and we also have Alden, who has to spend his turn dealing with, um, the, the tech adept.
Um, who would like to go first?
You got this, Ruse.
You got this, Ruse.
I don't know what else you're kind of.
You want to trade?
You want to deal with the tech adept and then I, I take a turn?
Nah, I got him.
All right, Alden.
I think I'm the best one suited for this situation.
Time to beat.
What?
I don't know what to do here, to be honest with you.
You get bonuses?
Because now the fucking, the geek bar is kicked in.
I believe in you.
I don't know if attacking it's gonna, well, can I, hmm, have no wrath.
You only have three glory.
Yeah, the exposed weakness thing will only kind of help a little bit.
I am pissing and shitting right now.
In game.
Ricky, is this everything you wanted this game to be?
Honestly, I'm having a blast.
He's having fun.
We can't let him win, guys.
We can't let him win.
He needs to be as miserable as we are right now.
All right?
I want to see, I want to see smites coming out of the elf.
I want to see tech new bullshit out of the tech priest.
I want to see the Elgrin rip the war dog up, open his mouth, and stuff what it is being fat belly.
We are gonna do this for the Emperor.
That's right.
That's right.
I can do it.
I attack.
For the Emperor.
I don't believe in that guy.
Shut up.
Yes, you do.
All right.
What were my bonuses?
It's only cocaine.
It was plus two to, like, I think attacking and damage, right?
Yeah.
Plus two to your attack roll, plus two extra dice to your damage as well.
All right.
I'm doing 13 total, because it's plus one with the exposed thing.
All right.
I'm going to town.
Oh, my God.
It's the worst roll I've ever done.
Well, I succeeded.
You get a shift.
Yeah, you get a shift.
You get a shift.
I got seven successes at the end of five, even though I rolled, like, a billion dice.
Yeah, I get what?
I guess I'll put that to damage, I suppose.
No.
I have no wrath.
You cannot.
You cannot give him your wrath.
That is not how God intends this game to work.
God did not intend us to do many different things.
We are above his purview.
All right.
Keep telling yourself that.
But you got to roll the, well, I can roll damage here.
Yeah.
Okay.
So, it's two more, with only total damage, 10 AP minus, while nothing happened.
You once again just...
Well, actually, sorry.
Yeah.
Two more dice there.
It was plus two attack.
I didn't add that in.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Roll.
That's a six.
Yeah!
Six!
You do a point.
You do an extra point.
Yeah.
You do a point.
You do one point to the warhound.
You can surrender whenever you want, Mimzel.
Oh, Mimzel.
Actually, I'm quaking in my mechanical boots.
Roll me a D3, please.
Okay.
Just do a D6.
I can just click that easier.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
Interface.
I swear to God.
One.
Okay.
Mimzel, you can up your personal shock by one again.
Let's see.
It's going great, guys.
You're getting there.
My head is starting to get a little hurt.
Now that I'm bald and smacking it inside this cockpit.
That is true.
It doesn't have the padding anymore.
Bloodied and bruised.
Roos has his fists up.
He's like, I didn't hear no bell.
Slap his bald head.
Slap his bald head.
All right.
So that was Roos.
Who would like to go next?
Sorry if I missed the fist attack.
You're stalling blind in me.
I'm going to try and deal with this tech at night.
Yeah.
Everybody pull before me.
I'm complicating.
That's just a done deal at this point.
Take a look at this freak.
Yeah.
If you won't leave me alone, then you'll die for your impotence.
And I'll take out my power sword.
And I'm going to try and deal with her.
Yeah.
Just fucking target them and go.
Absolutely.
For some reason, beautiful foundry is not allowing me to target her.
Really?
One second here.
Refresh your browser.
Okay.
Let me do that.
That might work.
There we go.
I see it now.
All right.
I saw it.
I'm going to disappear.
Yeah.
I just saw it.
It's like.
We now found you.
We now found you.
When it freaking works.
Thank you.
Now I'm targeting him.
You got it.
You got it.
You got it.
Yeah.
You got it.
You got it.
Prepare yourself, Maeve.
I'm not charging.
Yeah.
See how it is.
Okay.
Oh, hot damn.
That's something.
All right.
So that is seven successes, two shifts possible, and a critical.
Hell yeah.
Nice.
I'm going to roll the crit.
Okay.
Yep.
All right.
That is a head shot.
Okay.
Very good.
Plus one wound.
I'm going to do my shifts real quick.
Yeah.
We'll shift these to damage.
Let's roll.
You could just shift them to glory as well, but yeah.
Because then you could spend the glory on the crit.
Oh, yeah.
Well, in that case.
But that's okay.
It won't matter.
It won't matter.
I'll apply the damage here.
Okay.
He's dead.
So you murdered the tech adept in just like one fell swoop.
All right.
Now, everyone, everyone, everyone, everyone.
Yeah.
I'm everyone.
I need you all to realize something.
Uh-huh.
I admit when I've been a bad game master and that I have been unfair to all of you as players.
You're never a bad game master.
I, I, I, you know what?
No, no, no.
Every, every game master has moments where they can learn.
And, you know, seeing this pitiful low challenge creature die here has just reminded me of a core function of the game that I've just been skipping.
So, you know, God, how, why, why are you throwing coconut cream pies at our face now?
As, as, as part of this illustrious moment, I am going to give you a coconut cream pie speaker because I think by killing this one adept, I'm going to give you one experience.
Oh.
What?
Oh.
One XP.
Boy, that's, boy, that's just enough to, to, to purchase a certain ability.
Are you going to blow us all up?
That's going to be the end of your round speaker.
All right.
I'm going to buy the Jaded trait, guys.
Yay.
I was wondering when you were going to pick that up.
Yeah.
Hello.
I didn't, I didn't know that we were playing zombies and it was just a wall buy trait that you could get in the middle of a minute.
I didn't know that shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You just need to finish putting the bars on the, on the window to get the extra $10.
Yeah.
I have, I have, I have, please, I have ray gun.
I look at the white chalk outline of a bombardment cannon on the side of the wall.
Oh, I could, I could, I could have all this.
Black ops, zombies mods be like.
Thank you.
That was, that wasn't a coconut cream pie to the face.
That was a coconut cream pie to the heart.
Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Thank you.
I'm sorry I ever doubted you until the next time when you do something bad.
Bricky, this was an interesting idea we had.
I think I'm starting to have regrets.
I'm starting to have many regrets here.
I'm having zero regrets.
Just, just, just, just saying.
Uh, who'd like to go next?
Uh, Aloysius or Kelrana?
I think Aloysius should go first.
So, Speaker, I haven't been in the dying condition for checking my watch ever.
Uh, am I, can I perform a Medicaid action on my teammate while I'm dying?
That's funny.
You could, you could perform it on yourself.
Oh.
Okay.
Fuck the other guys.
I, well, okay.
Reason with me here.
If I can't perform it on my teammate, I'm going to crawl over to Kelrana and be like,
Hey, this, uh, this isn't looking good.
Yeah.
You can spend your whole action to crawl.
Oh no, I can't do that.
I'm seeing, I'm just kind of aura farming right now.
Don't worry about me.
Okay.
Do you want to, you want to move yourself by Kelrana to aura farm?
No, why the fuck would I want to do that?
To line it up so Simsel can blow my pretty little head off smooth?
That's minsel minsel min to you.
Ah, whatever.
Smiss, smiss, smiss, smiss, smiss.
Smiss, smiss, hot chocolate.
I could go for some hot chocolate.
I could go for a hot chocolate.
I could go for a hot chocolate.
I haven't had one in years.
Uh.
So the movement.
I'm going to keep crawling over to the captain.
I'm going to crawl.
Reminder, if you crawl, you can't do anything else.
Fuck.
I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to medicate, check myself.
Get to check yourself.
That's fair.
Get medicated.
I'm going to, I'm going to medicate myself.
Hey, Thurston.
Hey.
Hulky.
I'd like to spend my last wrath.
Because I think this is critical.
You haven't even rolled the dice yet, so, you know.
No, no, no, you, no, no, no.
You understand.
This is actually key.
Key before I roll.
Okay.
We'll roll it.
We haven't had a chance to, uh.
No, no, no, no, no.
You'll understand in a second.
Oh, okay.
Okay.
This facility is still in disrepair.
Ergo, it is not orderly.
And the massive munitions flying past have surely knocked holes in the ceiling.
And maybe some things have fallen even further into disrepair.
But because he is the Omnisai is chosen to make the golden age of the Mechanicum arrive, Providence would have it that right, just right near Aloysus would be a Medicaid kit that he did not get a chance to buy for three parts of his fucking AP.
Yeah, yeah, I'll give you, like, I'll give you, like, the Emperor's finest Medicaid check, just fucking golden on the floor beside you, resplendent.
I mean, I always knew you were at my side.
My guiding, healing salve.
I'm going to make a Medicaid check, since I now have a Medicaid kit.
I want you to complicate this more.
I probably will, knowing me.
No!
As fortune would have it.
A Medicaid.
Just for me.
Ah, that's very nice.
That's six successes.
You heal one wound.
That's good.
That means his next turn, he can use his psychic mouth.
That's true.
True, true.
Many people are saying.
He's got a wound back.
This is important.
This means something.
Oh, wait, no, I can't move.
Can't move.
Which will bring us to, with you healing yourself, this will bring us to Kelrana.
Ah, great.
Yeah, well, another legend, another game.
Let's fucking smite this guy again.
What could possibly go wrong?
Please, please, please.
I got a few ideas.
There's a few things we're doing.
Please, please.
We got a list.
Actually, you roll on it.
Yeah.
You know, for two different 40k-themed campaigns, we've talked about a chaos demon spawning in at max complication.
Let's find out what happens if it does.
Let's all find out together, everyone.
Remember to add plus one wrath die.
So I'm up to four wrath die.
No, not six.
Why did it go to six?
It's four.
I complicate, but with only one.
I will, I will let you.
Why did it put a six in?
No, no.
You know what I'm going to do?
Fuck this.
I am going to spend a rune point to make you wrath reroll that.
Hold on.
It put in six instead of four.
Oh.
Just do another roll.
All right.
Yeah, just do another roll.
It just won't count that one.
Just delete that one.
All right.
Yeah, I got it.
Invalid roll.
Okay.
Invalid roll.
Invalid roll.
Try again.
Okay, please.
Why?
It's not letting me do four.
Roll it normal and then just roll an extra dime.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah, that's what I'll do.
Three.
Okay.
I keep putting in a number and it keeps jacking it up to five.
Oh, it's because the horror from my big horn.
Oh, wait.
There we go.
I see.
No, it's automatically adding two to whatever I type in.
Yeah.
There we go.
Okay, now I've got it to four.
Now I've got it to exactly four.
Do it.
Do it.
Do it.
Oh, my God.
That's a really good roll.
I'm still going to spend a rune point and make you reroll.
Oh, my.
Wrath, reroll.
I want to get a complication out of you.
Okay.
Get a complication out of me.
You're going to get two more sixes.
You're going to get like a billion.
Yeah, there we go.
There we go.
There's a wrath.
Okay, but you can shift three times, which will do 1d3 plus one damage.
So that's pretty pog.
Wow.
But click that Perils of the Warp for me first.
Yes, yes, of course.
Naturally.
Oh, surging warp energies.
The air seems to shimmer and distort.
All creatures within 25 meters of use suffer one shock, and the GM gates one ruin.
For the remainder of all this, for the reign of the scene, all wrath dice rolled as a part
of a psychic mastery test that don't result in a one or a six, must be rerolled once.
Oh, quad, the universe wants me to summon Scarbrand.
It really does.
Just like powering up, screaming.
Okay, d3 plus one.
d3 plus one.
Yeah.
All right, all right, all right, all right.
Here we go.
Here we go.
This is it.
This is the epic moment, everybody.
d3 plus one.
Let's go.
d3 plus one.
Another one.
Two.
Beautiful.
Two.
Okay, I've added the wounds.
Roll me just a flat d3 again, because we're going to see how much shock that a knight takes
here.
One more shock.
Excellent.
We're getting there.
I don't think we've rolled above it.
I'm screaming.
I'm fighting.
I'm praying to every Eldar god that will push them.
Oh, no, no, no.
I'm, I'm, oh, no, no.
You, you haven't, you haven't, you haven't seen any, any type of darkness yet, because it's
going to come to me with my edit rune point.
Beginning of the new round.
Uh-huh.
Hello, hi.
I'm going to spend a rune point first.
Mm-hmm.
To make Odo go first.
You stupid bitch.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
Well, guys.
The glowing Empress Palpatine on the floor.
I, I, I would like, I would like to just imagine during this time as I'm fighting Bruce,
the, that Minsel, Minsel, Minsel, like, red roiling eye is getting brighter and brighter
as it's still fixated on Kel'rana the whole time.
Oh, yes.
It's like, it's, it's like it's flaring up.
And, like, partly reflecting the red of Bruce's skin because he is an ogre from Warcraft
to me.
All right.
All right.
All right.
Kay and Aisha, Kudos, Sigouric, idiot, whoever's fucking listening.
Bill, Bill, are you there?
Bill, the Elder God, Bill.
Bill, Elder, Bill.
Go on up this campaign.
All right.
Die.
Smart.
Not a single complication, but they all have to get rolled.
I do have to re-roll the ones that are not a player.
You have to re-roll those three, not sixes.
Yep.
And I think if you click them, yeah, you can click all three of them and then re-roll selected.
Yep.
They're all going to be sixes.
Oh, I'm hoping.
Yay!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
Oh!
So that's going to be one more point.
One more point.
Sigouric smiles on my face.
Of one mortal to the knight.
Roll me a D3 again.
Uh-huh!
Okay, cool.
Roll me another D3.
This is funny, so I get to keep living.
That was a two for podcast.
The knight is having, like, pieces of it peeling off.
The armor is coming off.
Oh!
Mimps is going to take two more shock.
Um, or three more shock.
It's not going to be great.
Um, all right.
All right.
Now the armor crew gets to go.
Ah, bug.
Well, guys, it was nice knowing you.
Kane, Sigouric, whoever.
Uh, peace.
I am...
Oh, that's why he knew about the sex dimension.
I was actually really worried.
I was actually really worried when he started talking about that.
I'm like, fuck, the jig is up!
Nah, nah, nah.
Let me...
I had my moment.
Don't worry.
Don't worry about it.
It's true.
It's true.
My impulse to yes and the bit.
I know.
You were caught in the bit instead of the wait a second.
Yeah, because we say stupid shit like that all the time.
Our own stupidity blinded us.
That's right.
I even remember when Clues looked at me and said unclean and sprayed me.
Well, I just thought that you were a filthy little freak.
Oh, that makes sense.
Also, this filthy little freak is about to down the third member of your party.
Ah, bug.
Incoming Chevy Chainsword.
You're gonna miss.
I hate you so much.
You're gonna miss, he says.
Okay, we're gonna do a little bit of damage on that one.
That is a DNF2 with only two successes, so it wasn't particularly great of a roll,
but the damage isn't coming.
Oh, dear.
Oh, no.
Oh, no.
It's okay.
That would be a damage of 18.
18 and AP3.
21.
One sec, one sec, one sec, one sec.
One sec.
After I'm done with this, Ruse, I'm gonna be taking that little blue orb of yours.
It's small.
One sec.
I have bad news, I think.
One sec.
Oh, no.
Did he fucking die?
One sec.
Hold on.
We gotta find out.
Dying.
Where's the, like, annihilation?
If you suffer.
Amogen dying.
Let's see.
Okay, you don't, okay, no, no, no, you're just okay.
You're good.
It's not more than double.
You're good.
You're good.
Now, see, sometimes an enemy is so powerful, weapons of destructed leaves nothing of its
target to be charged to put her to the ground.
If you suffer damage from a single attack that inflicts more than double your maximum
wounds, if you did two more.
Oh, my God.
I would have died.
I did roll a six, six, five, four, and a one.
And it was quite the, quite the roll.
This is very impressive.
But you don't, you don't obliterate, but you do roll a d6 to see what horrific injury
you will part on.
Oh, absolutely.
Five.
You gain a twitch.
You will, for now, ever have a twitch.
Oh.
Roos has a twitch account every week.
I hope it's a trick knee.
I hope it's like a little, just like a trick knee or like an elbow that just gets thrown
randomly.
I'm sorry.
Now I'm just thinking, how does Roos, like, intro his twitch channel?
I want, I want Art of Roos with the little, like, uh, uh, cat headphones.
Yes!
And, like, his adorable streamer setup.
Yep.
Hi, guys.
Welcome to my new stream.
It's really good.
We're going to be playing Minecraft today.
It's really good to see you all.
Oh, thank you for the scribble, dude.
Oh, thank you for the tier three.
Oh, thank you for the bit there, coin stranger.
All right, let's go ahead and get gaming, gamers.
Next week, we'll have a call out playing Fortnite.
We should make that a sub goal, uh, Roostream.
Roostream?
I can't even watch the fucking Roostreams Dark Tide.
Am I, uh, am I able to move after this or no?
Yeah, you can.
Okay, I was going to, uh, I want to start walking my way towards, towards Alden.
Uh-oh.
Sure.
Naturally, you know, I want to be, I want to be mogging a little bit.
I need to be, like, I'm so glad I got to save you for last.
You're approaching me.
Well, then, I'll have to follow in.
Um, do I get a reactive strike?
Uh, no, because you can't take the actions when you're in.
It's the only actions.
Um, in fact, I'm about to make it worse for you.
Um, uh-oh.
Once per round, after you make a move action, this is why Prone was so good, um, the Armagerd
can make a stomp attack against everyone in range, too.
Oh.
Which, if you currently look at the map, there are two of you within two meters.
No, the, the stomp attack is a free action with Prone if all they do is move.
Oh, is it all they, okay.
Yeah, I hit with the chains.
Hostile DM, hostile DM, hostile DM!
He wants us all dead.
This is revenge.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
I need to go.
All right.
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, no, no, no.
Who would like to go next, uh, after the Armagerd begins its move towards the captain?
I will.
How bad does this Armagen look?
It's looking pretty beat up.
Um, but you know that it's gonna take you one round to spend your experience.
Really?
Yes.
Mm, that's bad.
Yep.
Yeah.
I'm sort of out of a, I'm sort of out of a flush meat to protect my ass.
Well, is spending, okay, but is gaining the experience a free action?
Well, you gained the experience last round, so you've got it.
So you have to spend your action this turn to, like, spend it.
You can spend my action.
Yeah.
You've got to, you've got to, you've got to spend an action to learn things.
You've got to, okay, you have to call the ship.
That's the action you actually are gonna do.
Hold on a moment.
I need to make a call.
I take out my cell phone.
Okay.
This is Captain Olden Roche.
Can you, can you hold on?
Mimso, do you mind holding on a moment?
I, I pull up my phone.
Because I have a once per, per, uh, session thing called Paradnor where I call my contacts as well.
Yeah, can we, can we take time?
Or as you, like, call into the roiling warp, like,
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know, you open the cockpit up and you can see me and my hand looks like a big tentacle,
but I'm, like, mockingly holding it to my ear.
Take, take your time, Alden.
All right, all right, just give me a moment.
This is Captain Olden Roche.
I'm calling to the gunnery crew of the Bird of Paradise.
You don't have a gunnery crew.
Oh, boy, our first call ever.
We got it installed and ship any timing, sir?
Oh, that's great.
Because I was calling to detonate the ship.
All right, that's way better than I was expecting.
Oh, yeah.
No, yeah, fire that on my position, please.
Okay, you'll just have to give us one round worth of time.
All right.
No worries.
Yeah, no worries.
Absolutely.
Okay, thank you.
Thank you very much, ZimZoom, for that moment.
If you'll excuse me, I'm going to move over here where it's tighter and you probably can't follow me as easy.
All right, that's our turn.
Who would like to go next?
I could probably help up Kel'ana.
Oh, I think I'm a lost cause.
Go here, Roos.
I don't—I can't get to Roos.
All right, fair enough.
I'm—I'm—I'm not so lost.
Wait!
Can I change my action?
I mean, not my action, but my movement.
Yeah.
Now then, I activate my power sword.
Let's finish this.
And I'm going to move into base-to-base so he can't charge me.
Excellent.
Smart.
Beautiful.
All right, now that's my turn.
Okay.
Aloysus, I believe you're going to go.
Yes.
Aloysus is going to get up right here.
You know, Kel'ana, you're really—you've been doing some top-shelf work this time.
Uh, I should probably not let you die, I think.
Really, Aloysus?
I look at him with my big, wet eyes.
If we get out of this,
Uh-huh.
I'll let you in on a few of my own, uh, secrets.
If you don't tell the captain, he wouldn't be—wouldn't be happy.
Thanks, man.
You're the best.
I try.
I really do earnestly try.
You do.
And I see it.
You work so hard every day, man.
You know, you're like—well, you're not like the captain to me.
You're much older than I am.
But you're a friend.
It would be weird if I said that.
You're like a bro to me, man.
Yeah.
Like a bro-bro.
It's something in you.
I see a kindred spirit that's suited to your work.
I think we're both fuckin' freaks.
Not at all alike in the human sin.
We're a couple of freaks in this world.
But they'll know our name in time.
They'll all pay.
Oh.
I'm gonna heal you now.
Thank you.
Uh, the end.
The end.
Oh, no.
It's the end four, because I'm wounded.
Fuck.
Oh.
All right.
Six successes.
You get one shift.
All right.
Keep going.
Make them suffer.
Yeah.
Fuck yeah, I will.
All right.
What do I heal?
You get two.
You heal two.
Two.
Two.
Dos.
Two.
Dos.
Down to five wounds.
Yay.
All right.
Bruce.
I believe.
All they can do is crawl at him.
I know.
He's just like, crawl closer.
That's right.
I crawl closer.
I'm not gonna lose another shot.
Bruce, get back, you fool.
No, sir.
I gotta protect you, sir.
He's like, grabbing the foot of this thing.
He's just in all denial, just trying to, like, keep it down.
But, of course, it's useless.
You know, he can't do anything to it.
And that's Bruce's turn.
I'm not gonna let you die, sir.
I can't let another one die, sir.
Oh, now it's getting sad.
I know.
It's, uh, it's gonna bring us to our next combat round.
You're the best son I've ever sat with.
I'm gonna spend a rune point to make Odo go first again.
Oh, come on!
Yes, yes, yes.
The warp is just, like, like, you've got Eloy's sisters healing you as your eyes are glowing and you're just, like, floating in the air.
All right, Eloy says you might want to take a step or two back.
Die!
I like how you're just, like, die!
That's my battle cry.
Now that's all I've got fucking left in me after this shit.
My head hurts.
My body hurts.
Everything sucks.
Roll!
That was really bad!
I'm gonna use my last...
You have to re-roll those either way.
They're all, uh...
Yeah, it's true.
I don't even have to help.
That's right.
They all suck.
Yeah, yeah, never mind.
I don't have to spend my last rune.
Uh, just re-roll those, uh, those three.
Just click those three and re-roll them.
Yeah.
Re-enter the scene.
Yeah, just click them and re-roll them.
Eat.
Oh!
Okay.
Still no complications, says.
Okay.
The road is power, says.
Still no complications.
And wrath critical.
Wrath critical.
Uh, shift.
I can't shift.
Yeah, no shift.
No, you can't shift because you don't have enough, so.
Yeah, you don't have enough.
So, uh, alas and alack.
D3.
I roll!
Two!
And a D3 for the Duder inside.
Hey, I'm the Duder inside.
Get that Duder.
Oh!
Tree!
Ooh!
Oh, get a headache!
Get a headache!
Get a headache!
Brain freeze!
Brain freeze!
Brain freeze!
Brain freeze!
Brain freeze!
He's on the cusp.
He's on the cusp.
All right.
It's a three more shock.
Come on.
Yeah.
Okay.
So, you are barely holding out of consciousness at this point.
It's hurting.
It's hurting.
Also, the warp mutations of my body are feeling great.
Yeah.
It's a lot of juice.
Oh, yeah.
Who would like to go next?
I think Simsel has to go next.
Yeah, isn't it?
That's right.
Simsel.
All right, Simsel.
Minsel.
My bad.
Minsel.
I'd like to make a narrative declaration.
Uh-oh.
Yeah, you can spend my last rune point to do that.
That sounds dope.
Don't I have my own wrath points to do that with?
I guess.
Yeah, you can kind of use them like my rune.
I can keep my rune.
Yeah, yeah.
Absolutely.
I like this.
I'm seeing Alden here pitifully throwing himself against my hull.
And I'm looking at, look down, and I want to try to find a way to pick up Bruce's blue orb.
Oh.
No, by some.
Because that's what, because I know what it is.
It's true.
I know exactly what it is.
It's true.
You do.
Wait, with what fingers?
I, you know what?
It's chaos.
I'll let you, like, mutate your fucking chainsword.
I, I, I was thinking of trying, I was thinking of trying to, uh, to put the orb in one of the barrels of the gun.
Ooh.
Oh.
And I, like, almost, like, scoop it up like a straw.
It's kind of sick, actually.
Like a fucked up boba?
Yeah, like a fucked up boba.
I'll allow you to do this on one condition.
Yeah, what's up?
You have to shoot Kelrano with it.
Oh.
I, I was actually going to try to, uh, bring it into the cockpit and, and put it inside the, the second, the other slot.
It's probably not a direct channel feed, though, from the chain gun ammo.
No, I have to open up, I have to open up the hatch to grab it.
Yeah, yeah.
Ooh.
Okay.
I'm down for it.
Okay, yeah.
Yeah, I'm down.
I like it.
All right.
All right.
It's a bunch of, it's a bunch of weird stats required right now.
What do you think I need?
I think you need to, once again, as we've proven, do an opposed athletics check with Roost to do this.
Okay.
Do I target him and then do athletics?
Or are we rolling off?
You both roll athletics separately.
You both roll athletics separately.
You'll roll first.
Um, and that's, that'll be it.
Just straight dice roll on it.
All right.
Bada, bada bing.
Oops.
Uh, right.
So no DNs.
So just roll.
Incoming.
Okay, you got four successes.
Four success.
This is my, sir.
Uh, no one else can have my, sir.
Be gone, demon.
I got seven successes, but a complicate.
Can the complication be that he spikes it on the ground?
No.
Let's see what the complication is.
Yeah.
Past problems.
Something about your past comes back to haunt you.
An old wound flares up in pain or you're distracted by a memory.
You, you eat the orb because you eat people.
Crunch.
You can't have this.
The only way I can keep you safe, sir.
Can I roll a, a tough, a tough to eat?
Oh my God.
Difficulty three.
Well, since technically, you know, I get plus D and all tests.
So, one second.
Yeah.
It'll be five.
Got it.
Gulp.
Oh my God.
Oh, you eat the soul stuff.
Eat.
Kel'rana just blink, blink.
All right.
Yeah.
You can fucking kill me now.
That's, that's fine with me.
Rev's chainsword.
I can find, I, I can find my ways.
I want my first dissection.
Well, didn't he have to get out of the cockpit to try and wrestle it from Roos?
So, doesn't he have to take time to get back in?
Well, I, I imagine I was fiddling with the, yeah, fiddling with the arm first.
And then he was just like, no.
All right.
Roos, Aloysus, or Alden, who wants to go next?
I'll go.
Wait.
I believe in you.
No, I won't.
I'm going to take a look at, at Roos.
Roos!
Roos!
Run!
Where, sir?
Away!
Okay, sir.
And I point directly behind him.
How far can I move while I'm all fucked up?
I'll allow you to crawl at your speed, Roos.
You are like Aloysus.
You are a power crawler.
All right.
Power crawl down to the south, then.
Trying to get, like, under scaffolding and various metal bits.
All right.
I'm going to say Aloysus has to go next, as, like, Roos is, like, crawling away.
The, the, the, the war dog turning menacingly away from the captain towards it.
Um, Aloysus, what are you, uh, what are you going to do?
The, the only thing that Aloysus can do at this point.
Uh-huh.
He's going to stagger up.
He's going to crawl.
Oh, he's up.
He's, he's got a wound.
Oh, that's right.
He does.
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
You're right.
You're right.
Uh, may you die as forgotten as your fetid house.
And with his only action, he's going to try and shoot with the arc pistol.
Oh, that's, that's a pretty good weapon to use against a tank.
At least it was the seventh edition.
I don't know.
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know.
It's all I, it's all I can do at this point.
A type vehicle four up, I don't know.
Oh, I just, I, I hope so.
That's it.
Remember the target.
Do I have to click on to the, uh, oh no, there we go.
Click on the armor crit, hit T, yeah.
Remember your mouse over.
Target, got it.
There you go.
You hit.
Four successes.
Four successes.
This is all I can do.
Fifteen damage, AP minus one.
Wow, that does a lot of damage.
Sure does.
Because it's against the vehicle.
It's going to do...
Uh, four moons.
You are tearing through this thing's hull is starting to flake off.
It's brutally wounded.
Roll me a D three, please.
Rolling a D three.
Two.
I'm still takes two more shock.
Oh, no.
This is, this is the point in Tarkov where your, your screen is black all around the edges.
You can't see anything.
Imagine I'm having a hard time moving right now, too, because my thing is like, it's like it stalls momentarily as you stand up and turn towards, um, Roos, the arc blast hitting the side of you.
All right.
The captain.
Right.
This.
Simpsil.
Mimpsil.
Whatever your name is, there's something I've got to tell you.
I don't even know if I can respond because like, like my, my, my cockpit is all black and I'm hearing the shattering of chaos around me.
Uh oh.
You're a real douchebag.
I call up the gunnery team.
Fire!
And then I'm going to run away as fast as I fucking can.
And in a moment, a column of the Emperor's divine light lances down from the heavens, washing over this horrific abomination of the ruinous powers.
But then perhaps expanding until the entire room is washed in light.
All right, everybody.
Thanks for playing Wrath and Glory with me.
That's been a fun campaign.
I really had a lot of fun.
Thanks, everybody.
My God.
We all got blowed up.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Maybe, maybe we'll see these characters again.
Who knows?
We don't know what the ending will be.
Oh my God.
I knew I should have hit him.
You know that, you know that emoji scream where he like disintegrates and he just goes like, oh.
Yeah.
We got ash babied.
Who knows who lived or who died.
Note, I have one rune left.
So, you know, if I really want Minsel to live, I'll just use the bullshit rune rule to keep him alive.
But who knows?
Who knows everybody?
I sure, I sure as shit are not alive in my physical form.
Oh man, Demon Prince Minsel is going to be awesome.
Oh my God.
I always wondered what a Vashtor Demon Prince would look like.
I definitely am not getting a Demon Prince.
I did not do enough things for their ruinous powers.
All right.
A Demon Squire.
They call those chaos spawns.
Yeah, a gibbering horror.
Beautiful.
But seriously, thank you everybody for playing the Rath and Goal.
Thank you everybody.
Thank you for being a monster.
Oh my God.
Yes.
Thank you for being a monster.
That was so good.
I came to this in a dream.
I was just like, I was like, Thurston, hold on.
I'm not really that great at D&D.
I'm doing first-intern murder hobo things.
What if, what if we make it my character?
Literally the inspiring incident was like you killing that guy and being like, oh shit, I wasn't supposed to do that.
What do now?
Fell to chaos in real time.
Yeah.
It just, it just worked, it just worked out.
It just, at the end of the day, I was like, this explains why I'm a dick to Aldim.
This explains like the briefing, why I randomly killed that guy.
Like, ah, this is working.
Beautiful.
And you got to go bald because of it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Got to.
Baby, you're so beautiful.
Don't go bald.
But of course, thank you all so much for watching this episode of Wrath and Glory.
And Bricky, thanks for coming over to play with us.
We really appreciate it.
Yeah, man.
It was super fun.
Thank you for having me.
With that, maybe we'll bring back these characters with another adventure.
Maybe we might do something completely different.
We don't know, but you can always stay tuned at patreon.com forward slash narrative declaration
where we put up update posts and everything, which don't worry, you don't have to pay for update posts.
Don't worry, it's always public and.
And of course, thank you to all of our amazing players, Hokey, Odo, Speaker D, and our amazing
game master, Thurston Hillman.
Thank you all so much for watching today.
We hope you all have a fantastic night.
Look up everyone's socials down in the descriptions below and YouTube and stuff like that.
If you're watching on podcast, please come watch all the fun stuff on youtube.com forward
slash narrative declaration.
Thank you all so much for watching.
Thank you all so much for being here.
And we hope to see you on the next adventure.
So long, everyone.
Bye bye!
Bye bye everyone!
Bye bye!
Bye bye!
Bye bye, everybody!
Reduck City!
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Bye! models!