The Parents are the Problem...and The Solution w/ Sam Fleury

The next generation is facing challenges we never faced — devices, culture pressure, identity confusion, and more.

Caleb and Brandon are joined by Sam Fleury for a direct and practical conversation about raising kids today, why parenting models have changed, and how fathers must re-engage as leaders in the home.

This is for every dad who wants to lead intentionally and build faith in the next generation.

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Creators and Guests

Host

Caleb Cole

Caleb, a Sacramento native, grew up in a pastor’s home and is a third generation minister. At the age of 12, after one of his grandfather’s sermons, he felt a call from God to be a pastor. He consistently pursued that call throughout high school and college. Caleb attended Central Bible College in Springfield, MO where he earned a B.A. in Biblical Studies and went on to the Assemblies of God Theological Seminary where he earned an M.A. in Theological Studies.

What is Men of Faith?

Men of Faith is a Christian podcast dedicated to calling men up and not out.

Hosted by Caleb Cole, each episode equips men to follow Jesus with conviction, character, and consistency—at home, at work, and in every season of life. Through honest conversations and practical biblical wisdom, Men of Faith tackles real issues like leadership, fatherhood, identity, marriage, discipline, spiritual growth, and navigating culture without compromise. This is a podcast for men who want more than inspiration—they want transformation.

00;00;00;03 - 00;00;05;05
Speaker 1
So you're saying the problem is actually parents? Is that what I mean?

00;00;05;08 - 00;00;29;24
Speaker 2
I think it always has to come back to. Who raised you? For sure. So who raised you societally? Like how did we, as a culture shift our parenting model? Which is a fact which the parenting model fundamentally changed from the 80s to the 90s. Just the term unsupervised play, like letting your kids go outside and go be outside till the street lights came on, you know, like, just be where you're going to be.

00;00;29;24 - 00;00;51;20
Speaker 2
I was out this past weekend, walk with my grandkids in the street. Lights came on. I had this memory of like time that I could go play anywhere I wanted as long as I was within a one block radius of my home, anywhere, did anything. And once the lights came on, got to go home. Yeah. And I just the difference of supervision how we how we address challenges.

00;00;51;20 - 00;00;53;11
Speaker 2
So parenting is a big issue.

00;00;53;12 - 00;01;13;08
Speaker 1
You're listening to men of Faith. The podcast dedicated to calling men up and not out. Join me as we live a life dedicated to our God.

00;01;13;11 - 00;01;22;03
Speaker 1
Gentlemen, welcome back to the men of Faith podcast. I'm your host, Caleb Cole, with my co-host Brandon Miller in the building.

00;01;22;04 - 00;01;23;22
Speaker 2
Hello, a man of faith.

00;01;23;24 - 00;01;39;04
Speaker 1
And we have a guest with us. Some of you may know him as the youth pastor of Project Church. This is Sam Fleury. Make some noise in the chat or wherever you are. Sam, tell him a little bit about yourself.

00;01;39;05 - 00;01;54;26
Speaker 3
All right. Yeah. As Pastor Caleb said, I am the youth pastor here. But outside of youth pastoring, family man, I've got twins at home. Actually, they're here in the building with us today. Just under two years old. And right before I got in here, I had to wash poop off my hands because I was cleaning diapers.

00;01;54;26 - 00;02;10;21
Speaker 3
So fun stuff. Been married to my wife, Carly, for going on nine years, and, man, we really love. I know what we're talking about today. But really love our family life. And, I know as a father, that's something I gotta be really intentional with, though. Really excited to share a little bit on our journey and, some, some things that I've learned along the way.

00;02;10;21 - 00;02;18;17
Speaker 3
And obviously you guys a little bit further along the journey. Parenting, I would say, is probably the funnest journey I've ever been on. So, really excited to jump into this.

00;02;18;19 - 00;02;41;10
Speaker 1
Yeah, man. Thanks for being with us. What we want to talk about today is just leading the next generation. We know that, this generation that's coming up right now is experiencing things that we never experienced. They're going through, I think, a greater level of challenges than probably we had. Obviously life is hard for all of us, but they're they're going through some things that are just different.

00;02;41;17 - 00;02;59;07
Speaker 1
Even looking at 2020 and that being in the middle of, a lot of their formative years and, what Covid kind of did to them. And, I don't know that we get into that, but I do want to talk about lead in the next generation. Obviously, I have, a 13 year old now, almost 12 year old, and then a ten year old.

00;02;59;14 - 00;03;07;21
Speaker 1
Brandon has too many kids for me to even remember. But but he has, Well, ranging from how old to how young?

00;03;07;22 - 00;03;10;08
Speaker 2
31. And the youngest is 15.

00;03;10;10 - 00;03;46;26
Speaker 1
15. What's cool is all of us have youth ministry experience going back. Brandon was a youth pastor. I was a youth pastor. Sam is a youth pastor. And so that's what I want to talk about, this next generation. I think starting out today, is just what do you see as some of the challenges that they're facing that maybe are new and are giving them, just more difficulty in becoming, I don't want to say, you know, positive, people in society, but, you know, that are that are hindering them from walking out.

00;03;46;28 - 00;03;53;14
Speaker 1
Just adulthood to the level that maybe we did in our days back in the day.

00;03;53;16 - 00;03;54;08
Speaker 3
Yeah. For sure.

00;03;54;14 - 00;03;55;20
Speaker 1
So what are some of the challenges?

00;03;55;21 - 00;04;12;00
Speaker 3
Yeah, I'll jump in, I'll say that. I think the first thing that come to mind, especially with like, the teenage years, especially, I mean, obviously we know, this generation more than ever has devices at their fingertips. And a lot of things come with that. There's there's some good things for connectivity, but some terrible things as far as usage that comes with it.

00;04;12;03 - 00;04;34;14
Speaker 3
The accessibility to to websites, chat rooms, you know, there's just a lot. But I would say, obviously the ability to get on devices is been something that's been detrimental to a lot of people. And I, I always love that parents are, I think now more than ever, really cognizant of screen time, app limitations, just really not allowing their students or their kids to even have their, their phones early in the morning, late at night.

00;04;34;16 - 00;04;54;29
Speaker 3
I think it's been a helpful thing, but actually, I think the second thing that I think more now over the last year that I've become more aware of and I think it does have a lot to do with Covid, is is young people are chronic over thinkers. Their thoughts are crazy. A lot of things go on in their mind and they can convince themselves to do some crazy things, and then they can talk themselves out of doing a lot of great things.

00;04;54;29 - 00;05;14;10
Speaker 3
And, they just they are really deep thinkers right now. And I think obviously the isolation of a couple of years of Covid, no school. I think even now being in high schools and middle schools and speaking in those a lot, I'm still seeing that there's a lot of remnants of, individualism, deep thinking, and they're still learning how to, like, how do I become a social person again?

00;05;14;12 - 00;05;29;27
Speaker 3
And so I think, yeah, I think those kind of all come together. But a lot of that had to do with the years of, of the pandemic. And, you know, obviously, I think there's I don't think there's any new challenges today than there was, you know, maybe when you guys were growing up, I think there's just I think they're a little bit more advanced and a little there's a little bit more at their fingertips.

00;05;29;27 - 00;05;47;25
Speaker 3
But, I would definitely say I think what's plaguing young people right now is the fact that they had to endure, a pandemic in isolation that even adults didn't handle well. Yeah. So then you think about adolescence and teenage years, like, how are they going to handle it? Well, and I think they're still learning. How do I not rely on a cell phone for connectivity?

00;05;47;25 - 00;06;13;22
Speaker 3
And how do I do individual relationships with people again? So I would say, yeah, just what's at their fingertips with, you know, technology and then, you know, just overthinking, are two things that I was just at a youth conference and I think probably 80% of one of the rooms that I was speaking in was, man, the things that that go through their mind and how much they think about things, somebody was opening up to me the other night, and they shared with what to me, what seemed like, wow, this is really some crazy, deep thoughts.

00;06;13;22 - 00;06;26;01
Speaker 3
Like this goes really, really deep. And then a week later, they told me that was 10% of what I'm thinking about. And so just tells you, man, there's so much going on in their minds. And I think obviously a lot of it has to do with the pandemic and, learning. How do I rationalize and talk through these things?

00;06;26;02 - 00;06;30;18
Speaker 3
I would say those are probably the two, most prominent things that I'm seeing in young people right now.

00;06;30;20 - 00;06;41;08
Speaker 1
Yeah. Brandon, what about for you? I mean, I know you had you have, like, adult children, but then and grandkids, but then you have teenagers as well.

00;06;41;11 - 00;07;07;23
Speaker 2
Yeah. I think it's important as a parent to remember that kids are inherently resilient if you let them be resilient, meaning you have to let them find their way through their problems. Yeah. And there is a real challenge right now, because I employ people in their 20s, I employ people who are next generation to watching different type of workers.

00;07;07;26 - 00;07;38;05
Speaker 2
There's a fundamental challenge when we're told to feel our feelings and be our feelings, and then our feelings are validated as fact. Yeah. And the challenge with that is that feelings aren't fact. Feelings can just be passing thoughts that can go really, really deep. We can take them as far down as we want, or we can actually wrestle with them, submit them hopefully to the Word of God and decide, is this a thought I should explore, or is just a thought that I need to reset or reframe?

00;07;38;07 - 00;08;05;17
Speaker 2
And so it's interesting watching 30 year olds walk through resilience in challenges and processes versus teenagers, and in the process of my 17 year old and and now 15 year old facing pretty difficult challenges, just even the nuances of how they both process and think through problems and find their way through that and being a parent coach around, okay, some of this, I can't give you the answer.

00;08;05;17 - 00;08;34;23
Speaker 2
I gotta let you sweat this one out. You got to figure it out. But boy, I tell you, it's it's a it's a real issue right now raising the next generation to bail them out because we want to step in. We want to we want to make the path a little easier. And we think it's good parenting. But in reality, some would say in math studies right now, we've actually hindered generations by over answering them, by giving them too much to to solve their problems.

00;08;34;26 - 00;08;40;20
Speaker 1
So you're saying the problem is actually parents is that why don't. Oh no, I'm.

00;08;40;20 - 00;08;42;07
Speaker 3
Joking, I think I think so, but I think it's a part of it.

00;08;42;11 - 00;09;07;01
Speaker 2
I think it always has to come back to who raised you, for sure. So who raised you societally? Like how did we, as a culture shift our parenting model, which is a fact we changed the parenting model fundamentally changed from the 80s to the 90s. Just the term unsupervised play. Like letting your kids go outside and go be outside till the street lights came on, you know, like, just be where you're going to be.

00;09;07;01 - 00;09;28;26
Speaker 2
I was out this past weekend, walk with my grandkids in the street lights came on. I had this memory of like time. Yeah, I could go play anywhere I wanted as long as I was within a one block radius of my home anywhere. Did anything. Yeah. And once the lights came on, got to go home. Yeah. And I just the difference of, supervision, how we how we address challenges.

00;09;28;26 - 00;09;30;18
Speaker 2
So parenting is a big issue.

00;09;30;18 - 00;09;51;29
Speaker 1
No I agree so I mean, you, you address a few things. I think one of them being the helicopter parenting that we're seeing nowadays or these parents are just hovering over them constantly. Interjecting in every opportunity, even, even, you know, aligning or siding with their child against their teacher when their child is clearly wrong.

00;09;51;29 - 00;09;53;08
Speaker 2
Teacher, coach, you name it.

00;09;53;13 - 00;09;54;24
Speaker 1
Yeah. Anyone. Right?

00;09;54;27 - 00;09;55;27
Speaker 2
My child is right. And you're.

00;09;55;27 - 00;10;18;06
Speaker 1
Wrong. Yeah. Always. So I'm a big believer in this, in in just letting our kids go, letting them figure it out. The resilience part. I mean, people have have questioned me recently because I let my kid, my kids ride their bikes to school, and then they come home and a lot of days they come home. There's a hierarchy.

00;10;18;08 - 00;10;38;03
Speaker 1
We're not there at first. They come home and they're in elementary school now. Conan's in seventh grade, but the other two are in elementary school. But last year they were all in elementary together, ride to school, ride home, and even my parents like, what are you doing? You know, and I'm like, this is how you raised us. But now I I'm not going to do that in this day and age.

00;10;38;05 - 00;10;59;18
Speaker 1
And I'm like, look, I want them to go explore, go ride your bikes like and figure out like what you're saying. They figure out, they figure out resiliency this way. They figure out their, their boundaries, how to test their boundaries. But we're in this day and age where it's like, we don't want anyone to get hurt. We don't want anyone to to not be supervised and protected at all times.

00;10;59;18 - 00;11;26;00
Speaker 1
And I do think we're raising a generation that I don't want to say soft, but they're not resilient. And and resilience is, I think, the number one indicator of success when it comes to life, jobs, future. And so we have a lot of parents listening, a lot of men who have kids probably in the range ranging from Sam, you having, you know, almost two year olds, to Brandon and me who have teenagers, and beyond.

00;11;26;02 - 00;11;33;12
Speaker 1
But I think that, you know, this may have shifted to raising the next generation is really about how you're leading the next generation as men.

00;11;33;12 - 00;12;03;26
Speaker 2
And I want to offer a dichotomy because you just offered the unsupervised. I mentioned unsupervised play. So letting our kids explore their world, letting them understand how to confront difficulty in person with people. And I would give the dichotomy to that of absolute supervision to online resources. Yes. Like that. Like like putting a kid out into the internet is like dropping them into the worst city you can possibly, like, drop them into Sodom and Gomorrah and good luck.

00;12;03;26 - 00;12;25;03
Speaker 2
Like, like it's it's really difficult. So there I would say go more extreme and it's, it's almost like we're doing the opposite. Go ahead, take this device, have a poor go to the worst things humanity can devise unsupervised. But I won't let you go across the street without holding your hand. We have a problem here. Like we're. We're missing something in this way of thinking.

00;12;25;04 - 00;12;47;28
Speaker 1
We got it twisted. So, Sam, what have you seen? You know, obviously you lead students, but I'm sure you look at the parents and sometimes it's like, okay, there's a reflection of parenting or what are you seeing in what parents are doing well that are raising students that you would say, okay, they're they're succeeding or they're doing well in life or they're going to be successful versus those that aren't.

00;12;48;00 - 00;12;59;00
Speaker 3
Yeah, I mean, I think I, listen to what you guys are talking about, obviously a lot further along the parenting journey. And I think as a youth pastor, like, in a way it feels like I've done some parenting over the years because, sure, for sure. You know, there's some parents that like, they have no idea what they're doing.

00;12;59;00 - 00;13;12;22
Speaker 3
They're calling me. I'm like, before I even had kids, I don't know what to tell you, but here's, you know, some of the things I've learned along the way. I had to start this morning. I mean, first, before I even answer that. Like, I think it's it's really, really important that parents are praying for their kids, like, yes, pray with them, but you should be praying for them as well.

00;13;12;22 - 00;13;29;10
Speaker 3
Like, we should be praying people, praying man, praying for our wives, praying for our kids and as Kayla mentioned, like, my kids aren't even two years old and I'm constantly finding myself praying for them because I know that there will be a day where I can't. Like right now in this season. It's way more helicopter parenting. Like, just to be honest, because yeah, these guys have to climb things on their heads.

00;13;29;10 - 00;13;34;09
Speaker 3
And I walked in the other day. My son's bouncing on his brother's head like just, you know, a little bit more helicoptering in the season.

00;13;34;09 - 00;13;35;16
Speaker 1
Well, you have to as a toddler.

00;13;35;16 - 00;13;49;06
Speaker 3
And that'll change. And that'll change as they get older. And I can't be I have to be the parent. That's okay with them falling and getting hurt with them falling and having to make mistakes to learn. But I had this, this morning that obviously we know the scriptures say that train a child in the way they should go.

00;13;49;08 - 00;14;05;29
Speaker 3
And when they grow that they won't depart from it. I just had this thought that I don't think that we can train our children in the way they should go. It comes full circle. Unless the parents are trained. And obviously, you know, we can always look at our parents as like they were doing the training us. But like if we're getting trained by the Lord, then we're able to train our children.

00;14;05;29 - 00;14;21;24
Speaker 3
And that means that God is gracious to release us and allow us to make some mistakes, and I do. I do agree that we have to be that way as fathers. We have to release our children to learn some lessons along the way. I would say a couple of things that I'm watching. I think just really echoes what you guys have mentioned already with like, things that are parents are doing.

00;14;21;24 - 00;14;36;12
Speaker 3
Well. I think that there are I think there's some unhealthy relationships at times with children. And this is something that we've talked about where, there is a season where I believe that your child, it's something that you have to nurture and really care for. And then there's a season where they you're training them and coaching them.

00;14;36;12 - 00;14;50;19
Speaker 3
Pastor Christy talked about this yesterday. And then in the season when they get older, where they're your friend. But I think before they're 18 years old, like they can't be your friend. And I do see that relationship dynamic of like, man, we're best friends all the time and say, well, you can't really receive the correction you need to if you're just best friends.

00;14;50;22 - 00;15;12;13
Speaker 3
And I think parents need to reestablish the role of like, hey, I'm here to coach you. I'm here to train you so that when, when you get this age and now you've learned the life lessons and you are an individual and we can be friends, but I think, students that are, you know, in middle school and high school, like parents need to really take that responsibility of training their children and understand, like, I have a role of an authoritative figure in your life and not just a friendship figure.

00;15;12;15 - 00;15;33;01
Speaker 3
So I would say honestly, like that's probably one dynamic that I see is like I would say on the side of unhealthy, but the side that I see is healthy is, obviously parents speaking life into their kids. I think this is an important thing. I think naturally, we've been trained from young ages where there's certain things that we do, and the negative connotation that parents have given even as we've grown up is, how can I trust you?

00;15;33;03 - 00;15;46;01
Speaker 3
You're just making mistakes. And like some of these words have been spoken over them. And just naturally, those are in our mind. And so when our kids make mistakes, we're saying, how can I trust you? All you're doing is making mistakes and we're we're speaking death over them. Yeah. The parents I see, they're doing it really, really well.

00;15;46;01 - 00;16;02;11
Speaker 3
It's not just necessarily that they're always praising their kids, but like we've been talking about, they give them the ability to make mistakes and then they coach them through it. And that's the common thing that we're talking about. But they're really releasing them to do this and then they're speaking life of them. I think, you know, you're going to learn more lessons, especially as a teenager.

00;16;02;14 - 00;16;16;16
Speaker 3
Not in all the things that you do well. But, you know, I always say there's two things. There's not winning and losing. There's winning and learning. Right. You're going to learn from your from your losses and the things that you're not doing. Well, and I think honestly just parents, I would say this for the men, this is really specific.

00;16;16;19 - 00;16;35;05
Speaker 3
Probably the one call I get the most is teenagers struggling with pornography. And this comes back to me and I, we have so much access on our phone. I think Brandon said that. So. Well, we're dropping them in an online portal where we're not going to monitor them, but we'll ask them to do everything else. And I think, you know, parents, when they, when they get to this area and their kids are struggling like they don't know how to handle it.

00;16;35;07 - 00;16;49;20
Speaker 3
And the reality is probably because they struggle with it and they never got free from it. And so, like, how do I deal with this? I feel like a hypocrite for trying to enforce something that I never really did. And I would just say, for the men, the fathers that are watching, you got kids at home that they're at this age where they have devices and access to the internet.

00;16;49;22 - 00;17;03;12
Speaker 3
I think there's there's something really powerful, you know, the book of Psalms, it tells us that God invites us to a table. I think the most important thing that we can do is to have a culture of vulnerability in our home. And we're inviting our children at dinnertime, and we're having really direct conversations with them about these struggles.

00;17;03;18 - 00;17;16;21
Speaker 3
And I think, obviously, right away, this is what I've told parents. It's uncomfortable in the beginning, even for the parent. But I think the more that we sit around a table when we have these conversations and the more normal it becomes, I think the more it shows that there's a culture of like, hey, we're going to be open, honest and vulnerable, and then there could be healing.

00;17;16;22 - 00;17;30;03
Speaker 3
So I, I've talked to a few parents, have started sitting around dinner table with the mom and the dad and the siblings, and they have these comments. And now you can't have you got a two year old or a five year old? You're going to have this conversation in front of them with a 15 year old, but we're going to make it a goal and we're going to sit at a table.

00;17;30;07 - 00;17;43;28
Speaker 3
We're going to have really honest conversations. We're not going to hide these things. We're going to talk about them. And so I see the parents that are doing that. It's actually strengthening even the relationship they have of their kids because it's no longer just, hey, I love you and go to school. Have a great day. But we're going to we're going to really coach you and parent you through these things.

00;17;43;28 - 00;17;45;08
Speaker 3
So I would say that's an important aspect.

00;17;45;14 - 00;18;09;12
Speaker 1
I saw or I heard you say earlier about, just them being deep thinkers, you know, overthinking being an issue. And I think that just goes back to the social interaction piece that is lacking or missing in today's generation. They're a, you know, they're they're just here. It's just a screen time generation. They spend more time there than anywhere else.

00;18;09;14 - 00;18;31;28
Speaker 1
Yeah. And then you have parents who don't know how to communicate. Don't take the time. They're too busy. Yeah, or they're on screens themselves. So they're not sitting around the dinner table and encouraging communication and open communication. And so for me, what I've seen is that kids who struggle with mental health, which I would say is like the overthinking, the deep thing, it is a mental health issue.

00;18;32;00 - 00;19;00;18
Speaker 1
I think the reason is because they're not learning healthy outlets, which is really communication. It's a social interaction. It's that I'm having these thoughts, but I'm going to talk them out with my parent or a friend or, you know, someone that's trusted. And we're proliferating that in homes because we don't sit around the dinner table. I would encourage, you know, families, if you can, we try to do it at least, you know, four nights a week that we're sitting now, we have a lot of church stuff.

00;19;00;18 - 00;19;21;11
Speaker 1
And so we always say, hey, there's two nights a week. We're probably going to not be able to do it right because the church events. But at least four nights a week, we're sitting around the dinner table, we're having conversation, we're conversing, we're asking them questions. We're talking about God. And and then even in, you know, when we are with them driving somewhere, I try to get alone time with each one of my kids every week.

00;19;21;11 - 00;19;47;07
Speaker 1
Yeah. And really ask them about what's been going on at school, what's been going on in your head? What are you thinking about? What are you excited about? What are you struggling with and encouraging and opening the dialog of communication? And I think that not that they can't be deep thinkers and and think a lot, about things, but when they're able to verbalize it and vocalize it and communication is open, that's when then they process that in a healthier way.

00;19;47;08 - 00;20;06;25
Speaker 1
Right? But when we're just stuck in our own heads and we're on these all day long and we never converse with anyone, I think that's what's causing a lot of issues for these young people. And so I think, you know, if I could encourage the men out there, it's like, man, are you making sure communication is happening in your homes at the dinner table with each of your children?

00;20;06;27 - 00;20;16;29
Speaker 1
Of course, with your spouse. We're not even talking about spouses today. But that's got to be there. And, I think we'd all do better if we just got rid of our devices. To be honest to him in the chat.

00;20;17;06 - 00;20;32;07
Speaker 3
I would just I would just add to that. I think you're right, though, like, we, you know, we're we're all really aware of this. Anybody that has kids like, my, my kids are two years old and they are already at a point where they will repeat words that I say. Yes. And as they get older, that doesn't slow down, that speeds up.

00;20;32;07 - 00;20;46;21
Speaker 3
They're, they're going to do the things that they see their parents doing. And I would just like encourage the dads in here, or, you know, the soon to be dads like your the culture of your home is a direct reflection of the model that you show. And like the communication you have with your wife, the intentionality that you have with her.

00;20;46;21 - 00;21;01;01
Speaker 3
And so, like sitting down at the dinner table, not having devices like the less your kids see you on devices, I would probably guess the less they're going to be on devices. The more they see you have an open dialog with them, they're going to have open dialog with you and with other people. And I think we are we have to set the standard in the culture in our home.

00;21;01;01 - 00;21;17;02
Speaker 3
They said it this way. You know that in homes, churches like culture is always being set, and it's either by design or by default, like it's going to happen one way or the other. So it can happen accidentally or can happen intentionally. And that's really up to us. And so I think as parents like we got to put our phones down, we got to encourage communication.

00;21;17;04 - 00;21;22;04
Speaker 3
And we have to be the ones to set the standard in our home of what it's going to look like. And I do believe that the our kids will follow after that.

00;21;22;07 - 00;21;49;06
Speaker 2
Yeah, yeah, I'd offer just the perspective to dads that our kids are going to hear voices throughout their life and prioritizing with them who they learn to listen to. Recently started a young adult group with my sons. And so this is 17 to 25 year olds. And the most interesting part of the conversation with these guys, and it's something as a dad, I watched, but I hadn't put it into words.

00;21;49;06 - 00;22;19;20
Speaker 2
And it's the cliff. The percentage of kids that come up through the church and at 18 fall off the cliff. They and the results, the the statistics are really scary. I mean, it's a massive cliff that these kids fall off. So in this group of young adults, the number of questions connected to and these are in many cases church kids who have no knowledge of Scripture, they don't know how to distinguish God's voice for themselves in any significant way.

00;22;19;22 - 00;22;42;29
Speaker 2
And so where they have to resort is pierce. Pierce become primary voices in their life. And we know this is a big part of what happens with the social phenomenon, the putting them all in one place where they can constantly hear from each other. Right. And so as a dad, one of our primary purposes is we want to be a significant voice and pulling from God's voice.

00;22;43;01 - 00;23;01;24
Speaker 2
How are we rooting them in to. We think this way because of this truth. We think this way because of that, because if the kids don't have that to come back on, the other voices of culture will be louder than yours and they will drown you out. And that's and they can be raised in the strongest Christian home, but we're preparing them.

00;23;01;24 - 00;23;22;20
Speaker 2
And so I, I, I encourage dads to give a lot of attention to the scriptures who you let mentor your kids on purpose. Yeah. Because my son's going to Sam is a very important relationship. I've actually had them tell me. Yeah, dad, I can tell things to Sam. I can't tell you. And I go, good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you should have someone else in your life.

00;23;22;23 - 00;23;43;08
Speaker 2
Yeah. That you can go to and unload your dirty treasure to embarrass. That's fine. I, I'm not offended by that. That's a good I we've set this up on purpose. We have a partnership with the mentors in your life. Yeah, but then being really clear on how you want them to interact and learning how they hear from God for themselves, how to grow in that.

00;23;43;08 - 00;23;43;13
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00;23;43;20 - 00;24;00;07
Speaker 1
Well, I think that's that's the challenge, right? Is that as men, we have to be doing it ourselves. Like, how can we do it for them if we're not doing it for ourselves? And and so I think ultimately, this is probably a sobering reminder for us and most of us, I mean, this is what I'm seeing right now.

00;24;00;07 - 00;24;12;09
Speaker 1
Most of us are living vicariously through our children, and unfortunately, we're only living vicariously through them around like, sports or activities or things that we like that they've taken natural right?

00;24;12;10 - 00;24;17;01
Speaker 2
Because we connect by doing that's how that's how dudes connect. We connect by doing stuff together.

00;24;17;04 - 00;24;36;17
Speaker 1
Totally. I had this epiphany the other day. I was like, I, I kind of had shifted how I'd been communicating with my oldest about sports, because I realized I was even getting sucked into that at times. And I was like, man, God, I want if I'm going to live vicariously through him in any way, I want it to be spiritually.

00;24;36;19 - 00;24;57;19
Speaker 1
And I just felt like the Lord was like you. You do. You do coaching with them. You coach their teams, you practice with them outside. You know, you give them drills. What are you doing spiritually now? Obviously we're having conversations, but so when they each turn 14, I've already decided that I'm going to start this like mentoring process with them of being in the word.

00;24;57;21 - 00;25;14;25
Speaker 1
We're going to do devotions together a few days a week, you know, because I'm like, I'm training them in sports because that's natural. But I also like I'm a pastor. This is natural for me too. But man, I want to live through them spiritually. And that's more important. Yeah. And so the Lord really convicted me on it.

00;25;14;25 - 00;25;22;10
Speaker 1
And so I'm beginning that process here when my son turns 14 a few months. And, and then I'm going to do it with the next one. And my daughter too.

00;25;22;13 - 00;25;27;02
Speaker 2
You know, you did that with you did something like that with your dad and you guys. I did that with my sons.

00;25;27;02 - 00;25;27;12
Speaker 1
Yeah.

00;25;27;13 - 00;25;43;04
Speaker 2
And their mission, we call it the mission of Matthew and I. I couldn't agree more because it's so natural to do the sports thing, right? Where the fishing or the hunting or the thing, but pulling them into. All right, let's read some books together. Let's let's study scripture together. Let's let's get you around some other dudes. That's huge.

00;25;43;10 - 00;25;43;28
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00;25;44;00 - 00;26;04;06
Speaker 1
So we want to do a final call up, for this episode. Sam, this is something we do every time we give the guys a call up. And so, I'll start, I guess. And then you guys give them. Give them the call up you have for them. So, man, my encouragement to you is, number one, you just got to make sure you're growing spiritually so you can lead this next generation.

00;26;04;06 - 00;26;29;06
Speaker 1
Well, and then number two is be intentional in how you're pouring into them spiritually. It doesn't have to be anything huge. It could be one spiritual conversation a week or hey, can we let's pray together or I read this scripture, what do you think about it? But intentionality in pouring into, the next generation spiritually, as fathers is something we have to do.

00;26;29;13 - 00;26;49;22
Speaker 3
Yeah, yeah, I would say my call for the fathers to is, is just educate yourself, like, lean on what you know is right. Like community help will help you really parent and guide your your kids the best way, but educate yourself in the areas where you don't. I think there's so many resources out there for fathers, they can help grow you so many different books and and different people around you that can really educate you and inform you how to raise your children.

00;26;49;22 - 00;27;02;29
Speaker 3
Well. So I would say leaning into community, point the finger at yourself before you point to anybody else. I think every time, we point a finger at other people, we gotta realize it's four of em pointing right back at us. And so look at yourself. Your kids are a direct reflection of you, said the culture of your home.

00;27;02;29 - 00;27;06;24
Speaker 3
Well, And do it by design and don't allow it to happen by. By accident.

00;27;06;27 - 00;27;25;11
Speaker 2
Yeah. And mine is this. Choose mentors for your kids. Be be intentional about who you give voice, and who you want to reinforce messages or even bring messages to your kids that are going to help develop that next generation. Those are important partnerships and they can make all the difference.

00;27;25;13 - 00;27;35;14
Speaker 1
Hey, thanks for joining us for the men of Faith podcast. Sam, thanks for joining us. Good to have you. Thanks for having me in your King's hat, which I, celebrate today, even though they lost.

00;27;35;14 - 00;27;36;19
Speaker 3
Like, we're gonna get a win tonight, though.

00;27;36;21 - 00;27;39;02
Speaker 1
Let's do it. Brandon, always a pleasure.

00;27;39;02 - 00;27;39;17
Speaker 2
To.

00;27;39;20 - 00;27;43;08
Speaker 1
Meet Faith. Onward, upward. Grace and peace. See you next time.