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Welcome to Don’t Eat Your Young — the podcast that brings you stories from the trenches of the incredible, wonderful, exhausting, terrifying, joyous world of nursing.
Host Beth Quaas been in the world of nursing for nearly decades and has worked in hospitals large and small. She's worn the hats of the floor nurse, ICU, ER, and anesthesia. She's been a manager, an educator, and a co-worker.
On Don't Eat Your Young, Beth highlights stories from nurses around the country that are doing amazing things for their nursing colleagues to support them and let them know that they are not alone. This is a show celebrating a positive culture of nursing and care, and we can be a part of this culture by sharing wins — and struggles — across the field.
We will also explore opportunities that are unique in nursing that may inspire you to go in new directions. These voices from the field are an inspiration to care for yourself, and those around you.
Subscribe to the show wherever you get your podcasts. For more information and to support this show, visit donteatyouryoung.com.
Nurses. Making our world better, one shift at a time!
Beth Quaas: [00:00:00] Hello everyone and welcome back to Donate Ear Young. I'm your host, Beth Quass. Thanks for spending some time with us today. We have Maureen Metzker with us. She has been in nursing for. About as long as I have, a little longer even. She's worked in many areas in nursing and I'm so excited to have her here today to talk about all of the changes she's seen in nursing, and now she's working as a health leadership coach.
So I hope you enjoy this episode. She has a lot of information to share.
Maureen, I wanna thank you so much for being on the show today. Well, thanks for welcoming me. I'm delighted to be here. Can you tell us a little bit about yourself, um, and talk about your nursing journey?
Maureen Metzger: I would [00:01:00] love to do that. One of my favorite things to talk about actually. Um, I am one of those really, I consider myself very fortunate because I've been a nurse for, uh, oh my gosh, almost 41 years now.
Um, you know, my career really has. Been a source of joy and meaning in my life. Um, with very few exceptions I've been, you know, just, just incredibly fortunate. So I was one of those people who I was launched from a big supportive family and friend network, um, and figured out pretty early on that my purpose in life is really to serve, um, by caring for others.
Mm-hmm. And so nursing, um, has been a. Just a wonderful way for me to express, um, to express that. And so I started off, um, I graduated in 1984 with my bachelor's degree. And, uh, did a couple of years in, in, um, as a psych nurse, which was phenomenal. And then transitioned into, um, taking care of people with cancer.
And I pretty much knew that that's [00:02:00] what I wanted, um, to do. And spent most of my, um, clinical career, um, in that space, caring for people in the advanced stages of mostly cancer. Um, but also HIV, um, back in the day, um, in the late eighties and nineties when we were still sort of finding our way, um, around that.
Then later transitioned to, um, more palliative care, which included, you know, heart failure patients, end stage renal cancer, and end stage renal failure rather. Um, and just loved that I, walking alongside people at really challenging time in their lives was deeply meaningful to me. And being part of just amazing teams, um, that view patients holistically.
It was just a, you know, really a joyful. A joyful time. And so I stayed, uh, in direct patient care almost 25 years, really, before I went back to graduate school. Um, and then it was more about, okay, um, there's some problems happening, um, and I'd like to be part of the solution. And [00:03:00] so got my master's degree to become an NP in 2007, and I I started working as a part of a research team and, um, taking some.
PhD level courses and got bit by the research bug hard. Um, and really, um, enjoyed that because my clinical research was based very strongly on my clinical experience. Mm-hmm. And so I looked at pa, patient and family members experiences in the advanced stages of illness. Um, I was part of designing and modifying and implementing interventions that were designed to really empower patients and families so that they could meaningfully participate in their own care.
Looked at communication and decision making. And so that really felt very much in alignment with my clinical practice. And then after finishing PhD, went and did a postdoc, uh, fellowship and then took a faculty position. I. And I deliberately chose some place where everybody taught. And so [00:04:00] some places you're very much divided, right?
Everyone's in silos where the researchers are doing their thing in the lab, quote unquote, and then the educators are doing their thing and the clinicians are doing their thing. But this was a place where it was very well integrated, and so I liked that idea that we were all, mm-hmm. We weren't siloed, we were doing, contributing to the overall mission, um, of nursing in different ways, but we were all sort of in that together.
So I really liked that idea. And the fir, the first stop I taught just sort of like talk about baptism by fire. They literally hand me a list of course objectives and said, Hey, new curriculum and we need you to develop this clinical course for our fourth years. Um, you're gonna have 11 clinical instructors.
That you're gonna be supervising and you know you're gonna do the didactic part as well for this critical and transitional care course. But you know what? It turned out to be really a labor of love. Mm-hmm. Because I had all this clinical experience and I just said to myself, you know what? I was [00:05:00] patient centered in the clinical world, population centered in the research world.
I can be learner centered. I know what these nurses to be need, um, and I'm just gonna, you know, kind of give it my all and. And see what happens. And it really was phenomenal. I just loved it. And so, you know, could have stayed there in the space teaching and doing my, um, you know, clinical research. Covid like for many of us just was a game changer.
I mean, it kind of upended, uh, how we were doing things. No more students in the clinical setting. All the courses that had been face to face, um, which was the only way I had taught. Were now all of a sudden online and, you know. I mean, I don't have to tell anyone who works in healthcare. What a, you know, what storm that was.
Mm-hmm. And so, um, lots of places came out of Covid sort of re-energized with their mission and figuring out how to best move forward because boy did the pandemic point out some cracks in our system. Right, exactly. And so, [00:06:00] unfortunately, where I was working, we had leadership change and. The, the vision and the strategic plan just was no longer, it certainly wasn't in alignment with what I had been doing and some of my colleagues had been doing.
And so they, you know, they kind of cleaned house, so to speak, and a group of us were, um, let go in one way or another. I was act actually, you know, fired. But, um, you know, and so that really. After 40 years, I was like, okay, what am I gonna do now? And so I think like a lot of nurses, some came to it themselves, right?
Mm-hmm. They were sort of like, wow, I don't feel like I belong where I'm working in that, in this post pandemic period. And then other of us. We're told we don't belong. And so, you know, but either way, right? You had to figure out what, what is my career gonna look like in this next chapter? And so that's kind of how I felt, um, you know, into coaching.
But even in coaching, I'm client-centered. Like, it, [00:07:00] it really felt like coming home because I work with people in the healthcare. Um, I call the people that rock that caregiving energy. And so most of them are healthcare. Some of them are, are patients or are non, um, professional caregivers. But they're people that definitely wanna serve by caring for other people.
And so tho those are the people that I, you know, coach as well. And, and very much in a way that I, you know, was a nurse. You know, just being very, um, client centered, helping them to tap into their own, um, powers of, of healing, um, and to create a life that they were, you know, kind of meant to live. So, you know, for me that my career has just had that.
Seamless thread, um, you know, kind of all the way, um, all the way through it. So it's all about relationships for me. Um, you know, you've had quite a career. That's amazing. You've done a lot. It makes you very well rounded and it really helps you to coach people. But I [00:08:00] wanna go back to something you said, um, because I think this is true in nursing.
No matter what we talk about is trial by fire. Oh, you know, we start out as students, um, doing that in the clinical world and then we are new nurses and we're all just fed to the wolves sometimes. Um, you just have to go out and figure it out. And then as we get experienced, um, same thing, you know, if there's a new leadership position, and of course leaders for sure, I think especially in nursing, are, um, trial by fire.
So do you think it's gotten better? And then what could we start to do differently? I love that question. So, you know, and of course I, I'm gonna say in some ways we have gotten better, right? Because I think we have an understanding that that sort of, uh, trial by fire is not the best way I. Especially when we attach a [00:09:00] lot of shame messages to it.
Right. So we, we take someone, for example, who is awesome in direct patient care, I call it at the bedside. Mm-hmm. They just, um, you know, they're their best selves and they're doing a great job. We tap 'em on the shoulder and we say, Hey, you're doing great in direct patient care. How about a nurse manager position?
And as if that's the same skillset. Right? Right. And then we don't support that person and we don't recognize it's a completely different skillset. Um, and oftentimes they feel really at sea. Yes. And they also feel isolated because they're no longer part of the group. For the team, right? They're in a different, they're on a different team.
Um, and they, you know, kind of flounder around. And so I think that in many places there's some recognition like that's not the way to go. And I do think I've seen changes in education. Um, I. I don't recall ever being taught any kind of what I call the relational [00:10:00] skills, the soft skills, very much emphasis on the psychomotor skills and a lot of theory.
'cause I went to a bachelor's degree program in the early eighties and we definitely were learning nursing theory. Um, but. It seemed very disconnected from what we were doing in the clinical setting. Yeah. Um, and a big emphasis on those psychomotor skills, but not an emphasis on how to communicate effectively with, um, people outside of nursing.
Uh, how to deliver, you know, difficult information to patients, how to be present, um, with them, and how to manage our own emotions when we are. You know, in relationship with patients who were going through some really challenging things. Um, and we didn't have a way of processing that, talking about that, working through that.
And so I do think that we recognize that, that, um. That is really not a great way to be. Um, but on the other hand, [00:11:00] many places have lost their way. In this post covid, we've kind of emerged out. It's happened, it started happening before the pandemic, but where there was this shift, I was gonna say subtle, but in some organizations not so subtle, were the things that matter to nurses.
We're no longer the metrics that were being measured, right? A lot of nurses felt like, wait a minute, when you're talking about productivity, you know you're talking about money. You're talking about things that don't resonate with nurses. We're not talking about patient outcomes. We're not talking about nurses feeling satisfied.
We're not talking about how cohesive and effective. Our teams are. Mm-hmm. So I, I think for many nurses, they just sort of felt like, wait a minute, I'm out of alignment with my organization now. Yeah. I completely agree with that. And I'm not sure, a lot of times the administration in some of those facilities even know what we want or [00:12:00] need to get us to that place.
How scary would it be to be a brand new nurse walking into a place and. Feeling very alone and no one to talk to and to mentor them. So I hope that we are getting better. Um, I hope we're teaching our young students and new nurses well to, to give them that skillset. And I think some places are, and I think what I, you know, if I were queen of the world, what I would like to see is, you know, those places that are doing a great job, why reinvent the wheel?
Just, you know, you can adopt what works, um, you know, and kind of get rid of what, what doesn't work. And that's why when you work in a place, you know, like the one that I used to work at, when you have collaborations across, um, nursing roles, so you have your research faculty working alongside your clinical faculty and having great partner, having great partnerships with your clinical, um, folks.
You can really [00:13:00] create a program that nurses are well prepared when they transition into practice. Mm-hmm. Because you have researchers that can help the educators say, Hey, here are the outcomes we need to measure. Not just NCL scores, but let's measure self efficacy. Let's measure self-confidence in learning.
Let's measure how they're doing in the clinical. Setting, let's in, let's not just use simulation for putting in IVs and, and, uh, you know, fully catheters and things and, and G-tubes. Let's, let's create some simulations around how to deliver bad news. Mm-hmm. How to communicate with patients that are really upset.
How to, you know, navigate and manage your own feelings. Um, you know how to craft your message to a physician colleague that. Really communicates the, the seriousness of the situation. And so I think, you know, we were doing those sorts of things that was, were very helpful. Um, because you know, you have your clinician partners telling you, here's what [00:14:00] we, here's what we really need nurses coming out to be able to do.
This is the, these are the areas that we need them, you need to be focusing on. Mm-hmm. Keeping those partnerships is, is key. And then I, I would always tell my, my nursing students too, um, that you always want to find, you'll have your formal mentors. So you know, look for someone that has a, a really good residency program or very comprehensive orientation program.
'cause there certainly are facilities there. You always wanna look at the organizational chart if there isn't a nurse. At that top level of the organizational chart, it's probably not the place for you as starting out as a nurse because it means that your organizational leaders, your nursing leaders, are not going to have a voice.
And so that's gonna make it very hard for you as a young nurse because you, you know, you're in a low powered position, so to speak anyway, and so you need somebody. At the top, right? Yes. Who has a vo who can [00:15:00] have a your back, so to speak, and to make sure the policies are enacted. So those were some, you know, sort of subtle things, uh, talking about healthy work environment, what to look for, but then also teaching them how to, you need to find an informal mentor.
And that was something that I was always very, very fortunate that I had a. Just this ability to figure out, okay. I could look at the nurses around me and say, it wasn't just about who was skilled, it was about, wow, who is living a life that I would like to live. They are just, they're happy in their work.
They've just got it going on. Um. And you know that that would be a great mentor. And then you realize even if you've only been in practice for four months, five months, six months, a year, there's somebody coming up behind you that's less experienced than you. And so this notion of have your hand extended in front of you.
For someone to pull you along and then you have your hand behind you and you pull [00:16:00] somebody else along. I love that way. I think that's also very empowering, right? To, to, to sort of stand in what you've learned already. I. And support somebody else coming up behind you. And same thing, to just be very grateful for the people that have, you know, come before you who are willing to kind of take you under their wing.
And that is a, I was gonna say, a win-win, but that is a win-win win. It's a win for the organization. It is certainly a win for the nurse being mentored and the one doing the mentoring. It's just a win for everybody and it builds incredibly. Strong teams because you no longer look at those young nurses as a drain on resources.
You look at them as your, as the future. Right. Oh my gosh. I love that because, well, it would get rid of, don't eat your young. Right. If we had one hand behind us to help the person behind us. One thing I have to emphasize that you said was to [00:17:00] look at your organizational chart. Yes. Now. I had many years of experience before.
I thought that that was important. Yeah. But we just had a group of people come in to recruit some of our students, our nurse anesthesia students, and they brought that up and they talked about their leadership, their nursing leadership, their nurse anesthesia leadership. And if you don't have that, who is looking out for you.
So that is incredibly important for people to. Learn that you have to know who's leading you, and you don't want non nurses leading you because they won't understand, like we talked about, what you need, what you want. They don't even understand, you know, nursing science. I mean, one of the, you know, beautiful things about going on to graduate school and being able to take a deep dive into our hist, our profession's history in theory and the science behind it all is you really have an understanding that nursing is very unique.
I mean, obviously, you know, each discipline [00:18:00] within healthcare has its own unique lens. Nursing, you know, we have multiple ways of knowing. So empiric is one way, right? That we have, definitely have a scientific base that we use, but there's also the aesthetics, what people call the art of nursing. I. There's this personal knowing that Patricia Benner and other theorists talk about where, you know, you learn a lot about yourself in your clinical encounters with other patients, and then as you get on with your experience, all of those aspects of yourself get brought into your practice.
Mm-hmm. And so, and that's in a very beautiful way that can benefit, you know, patients. And then we, you know, you have our ethics, we've got a code of ethics. And, uh, that gives us a framework for how we make decisions and how we prioritize certain things over, you know, over others. And then there's this, this sort of emancipatory, which is relatively new, where we understand about healthcare disparities and the way they show up in people's [00:19:00] lives.
And as nurses, we feel, you know. We're in a great position to be able to address some of those because we look at patients holistically. Mm-hmm. So we understand that it isn't just about, or you say, oh, for example, African American women in our country have the worst outcomes when it comes to heart disease.
And so it isn't just about that, but let's pick that apart. How is that showing up in this woman's life? Is it about access to care? Is it about we don't have medication medications that have been tested in this population? Is it because of where they, where they might be living? Is it, is it, you know, poverty, they don't have transportation.
Nurses understand about looking at all of these things and so when you think of all of that, I think the biggest thing is we have to, we really have to stand and, and ownership of that and, and be proud of that. Yes. Right? Yes, it is. We are unique. We do look very unique. [00:20:00] It might be cliche. That we look at the patient holistically, but we truly do because that is our training from day one.
It's our training a hundred percent. And you know, and so I, I think it's not a, I wish it weren't such a big stretch to we, we've got to look at ourselves that way. Right? You got to look at your, you know, colleagues that way because a, absolutely the relationship. Between patient, whether your patient is a dyad or a, you know, little baby or a community, that relationship then becomes a metaphorical vessel in which the healing and transformation takes place.
And so those relational skills need to be brought in. So it's way more than just psychomotor skills. Those are important, don't, don't get me wrong, but you know, the rest of it is, is key. And so I think. Nurses get that. And I think we need to make sure that when people that are outside of nursing are making decisions about things like scope of [00:21:00] practice and what it gets included in the curriculum for education, I think nurses really need to stand strong and unified and make sure that those things that are unique to us stay with us.
Mm-hmm. And so those students are coming up. We're socializing them to the profession. We're not just, it's not just about book learning, right? We were welcoming them, you know, into the profession. And so, you know, I think that that's a, a very important piece that. When you're just looking at productivity stats and you're saying, oh, we need nurses, so let's move them through the program as quickly as possible.
And we'll get rid of things like ethics and history and professional identity and all those other soft things. And we'll just get them the psychomotor skills so that they can get out and get into practice. Um, and I think we do, we do them a terrible disservice. You know, I agree with you. We push them.
Through their education, we push them through orientation. We push them to be out on their own. And [00:22:00] then like you said, we push them into leadership roles they may or may not be ready for or want. So I, yeah, I think that's a great, a great thing to point out. Yeah. The answers are. We like to say something, oh, what are we gonna do?
A lot of hand wringing happening, but it isn't like we don't know the answers. Mm-hmm. We just, you know, you just need the people, I call them the people that control the purse strings. So sort of making, making the case to the people that are making those decisions about resource allocation, to really kind of understand what it is nurses do, the outcomes that we care about, because it matters.
Yes. It, it completely does. We look at all of the outcomes that matter, you know, in terms of patient care. So many of them are driven by nurses. Mm-hmm. You send a patient home and they don't understand their medications or what to look for. That requires, you know, them to call, how to take care of that newborn baby at home.
I mean, it just goes on and on [00:23:00] and on. The patients are not going to do well. Right. If we have a way of, um. This whole term, which didn't exist when I was a young nurse, is failure to rescue. Um, and that comes from recognizing those early signs of sepsis or, you know, anything stroke, anything that, you know, is a, that little light that oh, oh, oh, that little, you know, voice inside you that says, oh, something, something is amiss here.
And that requires nurses to have the time, um, to engage with patients, to get to know them, and to have the tools. At their disposal to use in order to be able to Great. I I was always taught you're planning for discharge on admission. Yes. And it's not dis just discharge from the hospital, it's discharge so that they don't have to come back.
They don't have to be readmitted for anything. You're planning for their life outside of the hospital. Absolutely. And they, you know, and that requires input from [00:24:00] them. So I think the biggest thing I, you know, one of the. Skills that I really learned early on was listening deeply and really understanding that the patient and their family, um, are really equal partners in care.
Because no matter how much expertise I had, I could never be an expert on all things about the patient. So, and I used to use that as an example with my, with my students. It, it doesn't matter how you could be a nurse for 60 years and have a bit soup behind your name. You're never going to be, you're never gonna know as much about that person's life as that person does.
And the only way to find out about that is to engage 'em in conversation, to be present, to ask those questions and to listen. And then to make sure that the care that you're planning is in alignment with those things. Help them pull in their resources and that's where, you know, you feel really great, um, when you know you've done a good job.
When they are [00:25:00] able to. Achieve the best state of health for themselves possible given their situation. Well, what an excellent segue into what you're doing now because you are coaching and you are looking holistically at that person and helping them. So let's talk a little bit about your coaching. So I, I, you know, in many ways it felt like coming home as I was, so, as I was doing the program, every time they kept talking about these principles about holistic and mind shift and growth mindset, um.
You know, I, I kept thinking like, oh, this sounds so much like nursing though. Say, does this make sense? I'd be like, of course, this makes perfect sense. And they would talk about relationship and relational skills. I mean, it all, it all made sense. Um, and the type of coaching that I do, it's called a core energy coaching because it really looks at change from the inside out.
So you start with the, you know, you start with the person. And so a lot of that, and [00:26:00] again, it was very reminiscent of my nursing practice. So when I get with a new client, the first thing I wanna know for them is, where are you at now? Like, what are, and what are the biggest things that are keeping you stuck?
And where do you wanna be? What is your vision for yourself? In the same way I would always know, wanna know for a patient, especially someone when I was doing palliative care. I need to know what their quality of life looks like. Mm-hmm. What, given whatever time you have left, what does a quality, a meaningful quality life look like to you?
And once I know that, then I would ask, what is getting in your way? Why aren't, why aren't you having that? Whatever symptoms, oh, my pain, my swelling, whatever it might be. Then I knew, okay, there's the point of a care plan. We're gonna address those things that are getting in their way. And it's the same thing in coaching.
Everybody has a dream for themselves, and that's the first thing I start. What is, what is your dream? What is your vision for yourself? [00:27:00] And I used to ask every student that if they were an undergrad student, what is your vision for yourself as a nurse? They were, uh, you know, DNP or, or um, MSN. What is your vision for yourself as an A PRN?
What is your vision for yourself as a scientist? What do you wanna study? What, what brings you passion? What is your passion? What is your joy? Because once I know that, then I can get on board and say, okay, well where are you at now? What do we need to bring into this relationship in order for you to get to where you wanna be?
And it's the same thing in coaching. Sometimes. That's really hard to answer though. Do you find when people ask me that, I'm like, I don't know. I guess I have to think and sit and think on that. And, and sometimes they just need the permission to do that. Mm-hmm. You know what? That's okay. And sometimes I, you know, I have had people say, geez, I, I, I don't, I don't know what my purpose is.
I don't. And I just start with, okay, what are your values? What are important to you? I. What's important to [00:28:00] you? And then you talk about what activities think about, go through your, you know, your day-to-day life. Where are those moments of joy and what are you doing? What are you doing when you're feeling great?
When's the last time you were in the flow where time just flew by because you were so engrossed in what you were doing and feeling so high energy what was going on? Mm-hmm. And that helps people to kind of get that sense. Of, you know, oh my God, happy and what their values are, and then you can help them get in alignment.
Because every single time if someone feels unhappy, it's because they're out of alignment. They're either not living their values or they're, they just have a sense of, oh, I'm going through the motions. The something more, um, I should be doing. Um, you know, and so yeah, that's fun for me is. I, I almost think of myself like I'm walking alongside someone and I'm handing them tools and they are chiseling away to get to who they [00:29:00] really are as a person because it's there.
I never tell people I. What they should do or what they could be doing, or what their dream is, or what their vision or what their talents are, because they already know it. Mm-hmm. They already have the answers. They just need someone to kind of be present with them, you know, ask some questions and just hold space for them while they try to figure out.
How am I gonna get from where I am now to where I wanna be? Yeah. What we need to address. And then that's what we do. We address those things that are, that are keeping them stuck. And for most nurses, their dream is they want to be of service. Meaning they, they, they wanna create those win-wins. They wanna empower patients, um, to, to achieve their, the best functional status that they can, the best quality of life.
They wanna feel good doing it. Mm-hmm. They wanna use their talents, they wanna pr, they wanna work to their full scope of practice. They wanna feel good at the end of the day and they [00:30:00] wanna have enough energy to enjoy their life outside of work. Yeah. It's a hundred percent possible, but it is impossible if we kind of drop down into what I call fix it mode.
Right. We start thinking like, oh my gosh, look at all these problems and it's up to me to solve it. I've gotta pick up extra shifts 'cause we're so short staffed. I've gotta take on extra patients because, oh, I'm working with travelers and young nurses, or, oh, uh, you know, geez, I, I, I know I, uh, supposed to get outta here at 7:00 PM but you know, I, I, I'm just gonna have to stay and, and get things, you know, and on and on it goes.
Um, yeah, and you don't have anything left because that is very draining because it's like playing whack-a-mole, right? You put out, you know, you hit one and then another one. Pops up and so, and then you lose sight of, of your own boundaries of what is possible for you. What you know, what is, what, what are you supposed to be doing that can best [00:31:00] serve in this situation versus just, you know, kind of running around in a reactive state.
And I think that unfortunate has happened to, you know, a lot of of nurses and they're tired. That is something that hasn't changed that much in some places where that's actually celebrated. Mm-hmm. Right. You have terms like, oh, nurses, bladder. Well, what that means, that used to be a running joke when I was a young nurse, because you could go, you could go 12 and a half hours without, without going to the bathroom.
Right? And so you'd be like, how healthy is that? You know, like, why are we celebrating that? Yes. You know, Mary's child, um, had a ruptured appendix and she still went to work. You're like, okay, should we really be celebrating that or, you know, not, we don't do this any, this part we don't do anymore, but, oh, Mary hasn't had a sick day in, you know, in 10 years.
Oh, it doesn't matter. She has a stomach bug. She comes, she just pus in the bathroom and goes right back to work. Mm-hmm. And we, Hey Mary. But I would say there's [00:32:00] still the guilt. Associated with that for sure. If you call in sick, it's almost worse because you feel so guilty. So, um, I would say the last time we spoke, or the first time we spoke, you said that you fell out of alignment and that's what puts you on this path and you, you just hit the nail on the head.
That's exactly when people feel like they're out of alignment or things just aren't making sense or they're going against their values, that's when. Coaching can really help and you know, when are you happy? What does make you happy? Those are such amazing questions to help people get back to where they should be.
And then, you know, sort of asking, do you believe in your heart that you are worthy of being happy? Mm-hmm. A lot of people, you know, nurses and women in in particular. We're sort of raised of with this notion of kind of [00:33:00] self-sacrifice. And to be a good person, you need to give, it's better to give than to receive.
Um, and I think it's really, really hard. For nurses to hit that reframe. Mm-hmm. So, a lot of times when I am working with healthcare providers, that's what we kind of talk about. I call it disrupting the thought, feeling, behavior loop, because all of that is connected. So, for example, if I tell myself I am unilaterally responsible for the patient, for the safety of all the patients on my unit, and that means I can't call in sick.
I, I gotta take extra patients, I gotta pick up extra shifts. I can't complain, I can't take care of myself. Um, if that's what I'm telling myself, of course I'm gonna feel overwhelmed and exhausted 'cause it's too big and perhaps resentful. Mm-hmm. 'cause of all the sacrifices, I'm missing my kids' games, I'm missing family events, I'm going to work sick, I'm just exhausted.
Um, and then you're gonna think of [00:34:00] how you're showing up to work. If that's what you're thinking and that's how you're feeling. You're not bringing your best self to work. So sometimes just a matter of flipping the switch and seeing that, if you imagine if you're happy and you're high energy and you feel like you are working as part of a team, you're gonna show up a whole lot differently, right?
And so in some ways, you owe it to your patients and to yourself and to your family, and everyone who loves you. To take care of yourself first so that you're in the very best shape to show up in the way that you wanna show up. Yes. So what does coaching look like? If someone were to get in touch with you?
Is it one-on-one coaching? Is it group coaching? What do you offer? I do, um, I do all of it, but. You know, I think if, if people are really feeling stuck, most of them want a one, a one-on-one. Um, and then later on, you know, they might feel like, oh, I can kind of [00:35:00] do some group, I can kind of do some group coaching.
Um, you know, participate with other people where we're kind of sharing. But initially a lot of people, if they're really feeling stuck, they really need that individual taking a deep dive into what's going on with them. But I also. This part surprised me. My academic background, you know, a lot of people have been interested in having me speak to groups of people, um, about, you know, things about self-care, disrupting the feedback.
Um, I. Disruptive, disrupting, uh, unhelpful feedback loops. How do you create a life purpose? How do you live in alignment? Um, you know, sort of those relational skills talking about team cohesion and belongingness and other things. So that's been a surprise that I've been doing some webinars and some speaking on those topics as well.
And so I would say that's probably the, the crux of what I'm, I'm doing is mostly one-to-one. But then I'm also doing these, going into places and, um, and giving webinars or doing some talks [00:36:00] on things that are really bothering, um, nurses and keeping morale and keeping morale down. That's fantastic to have someone come in and talk about what.
We as nurses need is what I'm hoping administration understands bringing someone in like that. And some really do. I mean, I'm seeing some That's, that's been the wonderful thing about connecting, um, with a very large community that is on LinkedIn. I mean, I, I don't know that there's just hundreds of thousands of nurses that I feel on LinkedIn and just hearing about what other organizations are doing, talking to organizational leaders that are doing phenomenal things.
Um, that are bringing in like teams of coaches for their new nurses as part of the residency program, bringing people in, um, to teach faculty how to have a, a, a, a coaching style of mentoring, how to incorporate relational skills into curriculum. [00:37:00] And so, um, there's a, there's a lot of really exciting things happening out there, so that's been wonderful to see.
Some organizations need to need a little bit of a kick in the pants, shall we say. Um, but there are many places that are doing it, that are doing it well, and that makes me feel good because, um, and hopeful because the answers are there. We just need to get them in the hands of, you know, more people. Right.
And I would say for anyone listening to this podcast and listening to what Maureen is saying, take it back to your administrators if you think that, um, it would be so helpful to have her come in, take that back, um, and all of your. Contact information, of course, will be in the show notes. And I know when we started talking before the podcast, um, you said you might have a free offering for the listeners.
Oh, I would love to. Um, so I create, um, you, you can't let go of the, I guess the teacher in you, but, um, I've, I, I [00:38:00] like to, I enjoy creating these little video tutorials and then handouts. To go along on things that I feel like are not really covered, um, in, in nursing education, but things that I, I wish were, and so I have one.
That really kind of gets at the heart of what I'm seeing a lot of nurses struggling with, and that is maintaining what I call that service orientation. That means mm-hmm. Creating that win-win and avoiding dropping into fix it mode. And so I, I put together, I call it a, a. Care provider orientation assessment to help nurses figure out, okay, where are you?
Are you in fix-it mode? Are you in helper mode? Are you in service mode? And what can you do if you are in a fix-it or helper situation to move yourself into service mode? And what are some exercises and things that you can do to help yourself understand what are the, I call them essential ingredients.
So what is, if I, if my recipe for wellbeing, what are the essential ingredients that need to be in my recipe for wellbeing? For example, I know [00:39:00] myself, I can get my blood sugar can drop pretty precipitously probably from all those years of doing nights. And so if I am what my kids will call hangry, I. I'm just not gonna be at my best.
So I know if I'm, if I've got a lot of work ahead of me, I need to be well rested, well hydrated and well-nourished. And I know for me, therapy is working out, exercising and being in nature. So I'm well aware. Um, I'm very spiritual person and so that it, there has to be some. Connection to the spiritual world outside of myself, I call it God, but you know, it can be universe, spirit, whatever you call it, something greater than yourself.
And so I know that those are the essential needs that keep me at in my top form. And so once people figure that out, it really gives you a framework for making decisions. 'cause then you can ask yourself, is what I'm about to say yes, no, or maybe to how is that going to fit into my overall? [00:40:00] Vision, is that gonna keep me in service mode or am I doing this out of guilt?
Am I shooting myself? Um, you know, or am I actively choosing, um, to do something? And so I would love to give, I have the handbook pulled together in a PDF format, and I have a little video tutorial, um, that goes along with that. So I can certainly, I can either send the links to you or they can reach out via email and ask for it directly if they're on LinkedIn.
They can message me. I'm right on LinkedIn and I will, I'm happy to send it out to them. So I, you know, I love that. And anyone who is on LinkedIn, I frequently will do, um, tutorials and, and handouts, and they're always free. Um, and they can always just ask for them, and I'm happy to send them right through LinkedIn or to their email, whatever, whatever's easier, um, you know, for them and use them as, as they see fit.
What a great gift. Thank you so much for offering that to our listeners. As we wrap up here, Maureen, [00:41:00] I would love to know what one great positive thing you would like to leave with nurses today. Well, first I would have to say that one of the reasons I'm in love with my profession still after all this time is because I love nurses.
Because what we, I just feel like what we do is so incredibly important and it gives me hope for humanity that people wanna do it. We have students that come in, they, and, you know, they have big dreams. They wanna be sources of hope and healing in the world, and that is something that. I'm not saying it's the most important job in the world, but gosh, it's gotta be right up there.
I agree. You know, and so it's just a, you know, it's just a wonderful way to move through the world. So my advice would be just love [00:42:00] and honor yourself and be deeply grateful that you know that this is what you've chosen to, to do because it's so meaningful. Mm-hmm. And find your people because there are other people, you know, some of my best friends are nurses and other, and, you know, social workers, pharmacists, physicians.
It's just, it's just lovely to spend your time and to be lifted up and supported by other people. That wanna be sources of hope and healing in the world too. And, you know, and so I would say honor yourself, honor those connections, you know, surround yourself with people that, that, that lift you up and be proud.
I you be very, very proud to be a nurse. I love that. What a treasure to have you on and talk to us. I think. Um. You have a very calming spirit, and I really hope that anyone that wants to get back in alignment reaches out to you and gets back on that path that makes them feel good. I'm here for all of it [00:43:00] and I, you know, and I owe a debt of gratitude to my patients because over the years, I mean, I don't know how many.
Thousand people are, you know, I like to think of them waiting on the other side for me when I get there, but I've learned so much. Mm-hmm. Um, from that. And the main thing is just about the power of being present and holding space for another person and inviting them to come in and show up as their authentic selves.
And to be recognized and appreciated for that is so powerful. And so it's, you know, it's a labor of love, honestly, for me. Thank you. Thank you so much, and thank you for taking the time to be here. Uh, for anyone out there listening that wants to get in contact to Maureen, all of our contact info information will be in the show notes.
Thanks very much Maureen. Thanks for being here today to listen to stories of nurses just like you, out making their way, trying to make things better and improve our profession. I would really appreciate it if [00:44:00] you would go onto wherever you find your podcasts, apple, Spotify, or whatever platform you use, and leave a rating and review.
It will certainly help boost our numbers. Thanks for being here, and I appreciate you listening in.