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About Matters that should Matter to Men
Let's talk about the story of a handshake I'll never forget. There were actually two handshakes, separated by decades yet somehow conjoined. This was my first and only job interview. I was a sparkling green horn, 20 years old, I think, prodded by my peers into giving this gig a shot, a gig that I wasn't interested in at all. And given my general disinterest in the position, I shouldn't have been nervous.
Arvind Vijay Mohan:But as that morning turned, so did my attitude. I'm guessing it must have been the formality of it all. There was this palpable quiet tension in the air, extremely polished surroundings, uncomfortably chill air conditioning. I was seated in this room full of hopefuls, all humorless, grave even. And as my turn inch closer, I felt my poise slide, my confidence dip.
Arvind Vijay Mohan:I felt the edges around my collar, which unlike all the others were stylish, and despite that uncomfortably chill air conditioning moisten with sweat. And then my name was called. I was ushered by this gentleman into this extremely posh room where along a mahogany cladded semicircle sat this august circle of elders. To cut to the chase, I didn't get the job. I don't even remember the volley of questions or how I fielded them, you know.
Arvind Vijay Mohan:I just remember it being a complete blur. What I do remember though is, as I stood up to leave, one gentleman, I think one of the eldest in that council of elders, stood up as well. And for a reason I don't quite have an answer for till this day, walked me through the door that he very politely held open for me, proceeding to escort me to the elevator, walking past that group of hopefuls who were all staring at us. As the elevator doors slid open and I stepped in, he extended his hand, And while shaking it with this firmness that I hadn't expected of a gentleman of his age, he said, you don't seem cut out for this role, but you carry yourself with the character you've displayed today. That will take you far.
Arvind Vijay Mohan:Keep going. All the best, mister Vijay Mohan. That was the first time I had been addressed as such. That particular moment has stayed with me ever since. I never met him again, but I remember clearly his smile.
Arvind Vijay Mohan:I remember those words of his, his advice. In some manner, those simple words became a turning point of sorts for me. Those words guide me till today, I believe. Two decades and some years on, I gave a talk at a college, just a room full of students, perhaps maybe about a hundred hundred and twenty of them. Some were curious and some were half distracted as they usually are.
Arvind Vijay Mohan:I spoke about men I've long admired. I spoke about those seemingly little things that make a man a gentleman. Afterwards, most students filed out. A few stayed on. Most came to talk to me, mostly to ask a question or a few.
Arvind Vijay Mohan:And then when they all had left, there was only this one young one who was left behind. He looked nervous. He waited a while before speaking to me, when he did finally speak, it was in a very low tone. He said, sir, I didn't grow up around men like the sort you described, but I really want to become one of them. I want to learn.
Arvind Vijay Mohan:And then he held out his hand that I remember very clearly trembled a little. My name is Aart Sahoosar. That handshake reminded me of my own from all those years ago as I stood in that elevator. I wished him the best of luck. He thanked me, and as he turned to leave, I told him, carry yourself with the character you've displayed today.
Arvind Vijay Mohan:That will take you far. Keep going. All the best, mister Sahu. Those are the handshakes that I remember fondly. Do you have a handshake that you want to talk to me about?