You Can Get That Back At The End Of The Show!

Kevin drops by to tell us about a recent patron, Adam yells at Byron, and an overly censored casino story hits the pod.

What is Hot Mic?

Hot Mic is a bi-weekly podcast where hosts Byron, Shaun and Adam talk about life, liberty and the pursuit of ridiculous situations and altercations. Any topic is on the table along with our beverages.

Alright, fuck this.

I'll just go back to the fucking main.

That's what I was gonna or what I was not going to do.

How to start a nigga moment.

Always waiting.

Goes with that marketing array to click.

The funny thing is I did it in real time with all for you to see, see or hear.

Oh no.

I was going through here, editing the clip, cropping it, raising up the volume and then dragging and drop.

But nobody caught on that I was doing that.

I always suspect you were up to no good.

Yes.

Whenever I say Solomon, I always expect that.

Yeah.

So we got Rick rolled.

It just reminded me when you played that song we Got Rick rolled by the entire 6th grade class at the school because one of the teachers played the song on, like the loudspeaker and then all of a sudden 6th grade? No, like last week, because I work at a middle school now and the song comes on and all of a sudden it hits the chorus and everyone in the cafeteria for the 6th grade lunch just starts singing.

Never going to give you up.

It's fucking hilarious.

I lost my shit.

It was pretty great.

That's pretty nice.

Anyways, welcome to Hot Mike.

of toiling with shit.

Yeah, which it could have taken you two minutes less than that just to I wasn't going to play that.

I was going I know.

Oh, you want to hear what I was going to play? Maybe.

Depending.

Is it cool? No.

Hey, welcome out, Mike.

That doesn't work market.

I'll put it in in post.

It's like it never happened.

Except for the fact that we're talking about it right now.

It's gone.

So I stopped at Walgreens yesterday and I always park further away from traffic because I drive a big ass van that just is obnoxiously long.

And so I'd rather just not have to interact with other cars as I'm backing up or pulling out or whatever.

So anywho, let's see if I can drop this.

So I opened the door and immediately beneath my feet I happened upon apoo a poo.

That's where I was going.

Well with your story, Adam, normally it results in poop or fry throw up or something.

Oh yeah, I didn't forget about that.

Do you know what DJ's favorite sauce? What's that? Marina.

Nice.

I happen upon this.

What in the hell? It's a lung.

It looks like yeah, it looks like a pair of lungs.

Yeah, I was thinking like oh, because of the obviously dried blood, this must be animal and trails or whatever.

Until you enhance, enhance, enhance and see the zip code or the pull court.

Oh no, you don't know what that is.

There's a tampon.

Yeah.

So this said oh fuck my life.

This is just on the curb of Walgreens.

Like somebody was like I just yanked that shit out.

I've seen it.

right.

Was this important.

Everybody.

That's hot Mike in Portland, right? No, this is Salem.

Thank you for taking that down.

I'm going to steal Sean's phone and put it as at this point, I would welcome a story of Crow leading throw up right now.

We're seeing that.

Can we go back to that, please? That was with video, too.

I've heard all about that.

You sent us, like, three videos of that.

Did I send it to you or do I play them in here? I sent them as it was happening in real time.

I remember this now.

Yes.

We just didn't know what was really happening.

Did we talk about it on the show? Yes.

Okay.

I'm just really glad that I'm not on that group chat now.

Don't worry, we're not the special one.

Just for yeah, I've got messenger.

Yeah.

Stupid.

Every time he tries to back out of it, like, leave group.

We're like, no, get dressed back in here.

I'm eyeballing this.

There will be no eye bleach for you.

Unfortunate.

So you want to tell us about, like, the blood? Thanks.

don't do it.

That's accountable.

Tea bag.

I think I said that to somebody.

I sent the photo to somebody, and I said somebody like, oh, I flipped my T bag or I dropped my tea back.

And they just like I'm not talking.

Like, way back when I knew a dude, he would suck on tea bags.

Like, when somebody would ask him what he's fucking has in his mouth, he'd say, tampon.

If you could take an actual string or whatever.

Okay, all right.

Tampon string.

And then take the tea bag.

You got to get the flavored ones that will turn like a tea bag.

Red boys and berry say Thai tea.

who just farted.

No.

Who buzzed me? Okay.

It was in my sweater pocket.

Yeah, it wasn't me.

No, we'd know.

If it was any one of ours, it would go through the table and probably come through on his mic.

I put a buffer.

Oh, there you go.

Quick, raise everything.

You want to tell us about this? How to start a nigga moment? Sure, why not? At least you have your own introduce yourself all seen Boondocks cartoon? Yes.

Okay, so how do you start a nigga moment? Do you remember oh, wait, is that an episode? Yeah, it was a great episode.

Titles.

The last one I remember seeing was, like, the one where that date came over and was a ninja or something and kidnapped them.

So in the show, the easiest way to start a nigga moment is by throwing a chair.

You guys remember the episode? They were like, oh, he won't start a nigga moment.

Throw the chair.

And they throw the chair, and then all the ship just pops off with the thrown chair.

Well, this happened last night.

Why am I not surprised? So there's a drunk dude in the bar.

And I'm like sitting there.

And I saw him.

And I was like, that dude is drunk as fuck.

Oh, it looks like his friends are taking him out.

Okay, cool.

I have to fucking deal with that shit.

His friends are bringing him past the table.

And right as he was about to the end of the last table, I see him grab the chair.

And I'm like, oh, he's really drunk.

He's holding himself up.

Nope, he's dragging the chair.

Fuck, he's going to throw that bitch.

And as soon as he got past the table and cleared it, chuck that shit right towards my fucking DJ equipment.

So you can see my arm right here, how it's a little bit raised right there.

Oh, yeah.

Because I had to fucking block the chair.

I had to block the chair so it didn't fucking hit my turntables.

And it fucking ended up hitting the light stand.

Fucking dented the light stand.

Like the fucking metal ass light stand.

And I fucking ran outside after him.

His friends were like pushing them down the street.

Somebody fucking grabs me.

I'm just like and his other buddy was cool.

I've known him for years.

He's like, dude, he's drunk.

He's going to feel like shit tomorrow.

I was like, yeah, well, you go ahead and tell him.

I'll have him come and apologize.

I was like, cool.

Have him do that because his hands on sight, bro.

I was like I'm fucking him up.

I was like, you threw a fucking chair.

And it fucking hit me.

And they fucking didn't even let me knock your fucking stupid ass out because that's what the fuck you needed.

I would be like, who let this dumbass inside round one wobble.

So then because that happened, another dude runs outside.

And he's like, no, fuck that.

You threw a fucking chair of my boy.

So he starts getting into it.

This other dude sitting there talking shit.

So now these two dudes are fucking like going at it.

And they're grabbing this other guy.

And he's sitting there talking shit.

And then another dude comes outside.

And he was all he's like, oh, yeah, he's all your big shit.

And the dude's like, shut the fuck up.

And it was blevins.

Now Blevins is standing at the fucking door.

And he's like, no, you shut the fuck up.

He's all, fuck you.

He's, oh, you want a fuck? Do you want the fucking top or you want the fucking bottom? I go fucking deep.

Look, fuck.

And I'm like, holy shit is going on.

It just spontaneous combusted.

Wait.

And all of this happened of each other was being told to you? Or it's just some mother some other dude, okay? It's like that moment in a fucking movie with what's the face in John Tina in the movie theater.

He's like, I want to fuck you or whatever.

He's like, you shut the fuck up.

I will fuck you.

I will fuck you up.

Dude, you said you were going to fuck me.

He's all, no, you got that wrong.

And so I walked back, like everything calmed down, and one of the dudes is sitting at the chair, sitting back at a table, and he's like, evidently they didn't want to fuck.

I was curious about you.

Said you're running outside and someone got hold of you.

Who the hell got okay.

Who the hell got hold of you and stopped you? I've seen you run after somebody.

Yeah, so that happened.

Everybody was looking at me.

They're like you.

Good.

Yeah.

And guess what? Still didn't drop.

A song came right back in.

There was Mix it.

There's your smoke break.

That took one after that.

And I stayed home.

See? Fuck you, Ryan.

Could have been worse.

I played golfing nights.

How is that, by the way? We'll talk about it later, okay? I sense tension.

More tension than that.

Okay.

At least you'd have to deal with the karaoke god.

Love karaoke gods.

I mean, what a great segue.

Thank you.

I mean, here's the thing.

That was too easy.

We've all been at a place where they're running karaoke, and someone's like, right before they start singing the song, they're like, I'm going to kill this song.

And why is it always usually before someone butchers, like, a sublime song? No, they definitely killed it.

Yeah.

So last night, I getting everything set up, haven't even introduced myself, letting people know that karaoke started.

This lady comes up to me and she goes, I just want to let you know I'm a karaoke god.

And by the end of the night, we'll be going to be the best of friends.

Like, aggressive like that.

And I was like, eye contact and all.

Yeah, aggressive friendship making thing.

a 65 white lady.

And then she's like, me and my husband are only in town for a week.

We're staying at the RV park.

We know.

And when we say RV park, we all know here which RV park she stayed at.

Highway 99.

Miss City.

Yup.

And she's like, you know, I was in Atlanta, and they do karaoke live bands.

I was like, okay.

And then she proceeded to take out her phone and show me video of her being a karaoke god while seeing Pat Benatars.

Hit me with your best shot.

Fire away.

My only response to that was, oh, look, live karaoke.

You have a live band.

Because I could have blamed it on the video quality.

I could have blamed it on, like, what are you doing? That's coming through on the microphone.

Stop.

Kevin's, telling a wonderful story about karaoke guy.

You give two shits.

I'm sorry.

Listen.

Continue.

Damn.

Thank you, Adam.

Time out, Will.

Shit.

He's putting that down right now.

Oh, he's closing.

So he's not tempted anymore.

Oh, he will be.

That's right.

Put it in your desk, Adam.

Get that back.

At the end of the show, or after I'm done with my story, I want to yell.

So she gets finished showing this video, and then I have everyone write down their songs on pieces of paper and she proceed to give me fucking five pieces of paper of songs.

And again, I haven't even started yet.

Five pieces? Like full songs? Well, they're small.

I cut them small.

You have a paper and you do strips or whatever? Yeah, well, I mean, I just place them in order so I can keep track because they allow me to drink on the job.

You'd have to.

Yeah, with this lady in general.

Well, especially with this la.

I immediately went to Bar and I was like, something strong.

I don't care.

Because it was going to be one of those what was her opener song? This is a set list.

She is having a concert, her own fucking concert.

I want to see me.

I want some b, not d.

You want us to be I can't remember the first song she's saying, but some of the songs included Arrowsmith, Sweet Emotion, erika BA Du Tyrone.

What? Oh, some range.

Her opener was actually doby gray drift away? And she did a couple of others.

And when she gave me these papers and I'm looking around, I'm like, fuck, I don't think I have any other karaoke singers here.

So like, this is going to be it for tonight, and I'm going to need to fucking gouge my ears out with a fucking ice pic so I can fucking no longer see.

Yeah, not the new version or newest version, but crackers and a not new no.

And that was like a million years ago.

So it could have been that bad.

Put it this way, after she sang her first song, I Got Another singer came up and she did some song.

But she was one of my semi regular.

She's always fucking awesome.

And after she was done performing the karaoke, god just kept on saying out loud, damn, damn, damn, damn, girl, you're so good.

Damn.

I was like, oh my God.

Art flavor flave.

I was going more off of Chris Tucker.

That works for me.

But then throughout the night, she tried throwing in oddly place slang.

Oh, this is perfect.

Come on, give it to us.

So at one point she was like, so I think I'm going to do one more song, and then I'm just going to have to throw off the deuces.

And I was like, I've never ever heard anyone use that.

Right? The last time I was using, 1990, never in 2009.

Yeah, so she was fun, but then kind of a side story.

To this.

There's three underage well, not underage, like, freshly 21 year old girls that came in fresh and they're all dressed up as a variation of a kitty for Halloween party pussy.

And they came down to me.

They came down to me and they're like, hey, can we sing a song? I was like, Please tell me.

They want hold on.

I was just like, yeah, in the baskets behind you.

Just need your name, arsen, title, and a piece of paper.

Well, all three of us want to sing.

I knew it.

And I was like, okay, that's no problem.

I only have two mics, though.

And they paused.

And then they're like, who's going to so can we share? Well, Sherry is caring, but this is a free fucking country, so you do whatever the fuck you want.

But I just need your name, artist, and title on the paper and be nutrition.

So I know what you want to say.

You're like the DMV of the Karoke world, man.

That could be time for you.

Any normal person, if I tell them, hey, all three of you want to see, but I only got two mics, they just automatically assume, okay, well, we're going to share these two mics between the three of us.

But they couldn't get it past their head.

It's just over there.

Like, I need you to fill out paper.

56 ten R.

Oh, you don't have that? Okay, goodbye.

Yeah, back in the line.

You have to get in line B.

This is line C.

You need to get back in line B.

So they proper request form.

They bring me up their request.

It's Carrie Underwood before he cheats.

And I'm looking everywhere else and there's no names on them.

So whenever people do this to me, I usually go up to them like, so do I call you before? Do I call you he.

Do I call you cheats? Do I call you Carrie or do I call you Underwood? And they usually get the point that, oh, I didn't put my name on there.

Okay, cool.

Now I know what to call you.

But you can track who's writing what, right? Okay.

Or I visually see a look and then they already walk away before I'm like, so these three girls did this.

They're sitting at the top of the bar now.

And so I walk up to them.

I do the same thing.

So they have a pencil on my hand, too.

That pencil is very key.

And I was like, so do I call you guys before heat, cheese and whatever.

And one of the girls just like and it just snatched paper out of my hand and stormed off.

Well, I still got the pens on my hand holding it up.

And I'm just going to continue holding this up because whatever.

And when the other girl's boyfriend certainly starts turns around, he does like kind of like I was like in a John wayne movie.

So what's the problem here? That's not John Wayne.

John Wayne, pick anyone you want.

Plenty Eastwood, shit like that.

Good, bad, ugly.

Yeah.

And I was like, oh, don't worry.

She's already taking care of it.

And then the chubby little kitty goes, well, we forgot to put our names in there.

He's like, well, I can handle this.

I know all three of these girls names.

Okay, that's weird.

I'm like, okay, that's great.

But she already read off with the paper.

That's why I'm still holding the pencil in my hand.

And he's like, okay.

Excuse me? Yeah, go away.

I'm like, okay, well, you don't have to fucking sing.

She's like, good.

We won't.

I'm like, okay, fuck you then.

And I walked away.

So then the girl that snatched paper came down and said, you're a dick, you know that? You just ruined my night for my friend.

I'm like, I ruined your night for your friend? I really don't care.

There's other places that you can see in karaoke, so just go.

I don't give a fuck.

Where's your mom? At least something you did that.

I gestured.

I kind of do.

I wasn't so flourished.

I almost did the whole, like, half notchy.

you know what you should have done? You should have looked at it and be like, but throwing up the deuces.

But that's where karaoke god comes in.

Because apparently these three girls went to the karaoke god because she is the karaoke god.

Because that's how she's introducing herself and went like, hello, I'm karaoke god.

Her name's my first name's Carrie.

My name is Carrie.

Okay? They know what it worked when I was like, do I call you Carrie? Yes.

So she comes up to me and she's like, so the kitty cat girls figured it out.

They would like to sing.

I'm like, figured what out? Like, well, only two of them are going to sing.

I was like, oh, my God.

They thought this was the whole problem the whole fucking time.

Okay, great.

Well, I already told them that they're not fucking singing here ever.

So as long as I'm here so they can fuck right off.

Well, they bought me a drink to do this.

I was like, well, congratulations.

You got a free fucking drink out of it.

But I'm not having them sitting here at all.

And she's like, oh, well, I don't know how I'm going to have to break it to him now.

You don't have to do shit.

What are you, their manager? And I just PR.

Right.

It's out of contract.

Sorry.

I just looked at her.

I go, well, you are the karaoke god you can figure out.

But yeah, it was just one of those nights that I got grace with a god's presence.

She's only here for a week.

And so atl I don't know where she's going next, but I hope on whatever unsuspecting community that she descends upon that she does provide the excellent fucking karaoke guy.

I was like, where are you going to next and find the first five karaki bars in that township? Being like, do not allow this person inside your place of business.

Don't do it.

Well, the weird thing is as she was leaving and at the end of the night, she was pretty drunk.

And also that can give you a clue of how she actually really sounded.

Toada.

No, she said clearly.

But it was more like if Cher somewhere between Cher and was it like when Peter and Lois went on to go singing, but they were just hired the entire guitar and then all of a sudden it sounded like, oh, my God, it sounds like shit.

More clear than that.

But it also sounded like a cross between share later on, like, do you believe in love? Kind of share and a yak dying.

I was going to do it.

Put those two together.

when decide to go smoke as she was leaving.

And I could have sworn she was like, we're traveling around in an RV and she had this fucking Walter White 2020, like, huge F 150 fucking high up, and she wasn't a big fucking lady and shit.

I was looking at 450.

Whatever it is I'm not good with the trucks popped up, but that's what she drove away to the RV camp.

And I guess that's maybe what they're showing the RV in.

But whenever I think of an RV, I'm thinking like, the bus, the movie, and they're just driving it themselves.

But yeah, karaoke god defended upon Vancouver last night, and it was not fucking miraculous at all.

Miraculous enough to make it on the podcast.

I mean, if I really thought about it, I should have just told her that there's karaoke down this great place called Penalties.

You should go down visit.

That's how the chair got thrown.

Probably would have got hit by a chair.

My birthday was a couple of weeks back, and we went to De Solace.

I forgot to talk about this last episode.

I will never go back there, ever.

What is a dosales? It's a Mexican restaurant.

High end Mexican restaurant.

It's on the waterfront.

Yeah, on the waterfront.

It's right above Wild then, isn't it? It's on this side of the waterfront.

Yeah, over by Burger place.

The whiskey burger.

It's like right down the block from that.

I hear somebody say it's above Weld Finn.

So it's like a second story.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, you walk in and then you have to go up these stairs into the restaurant and shit.

I've seen everybody, like, rave about this place.

I was like, yeah, I kind of want to go and pay and get the tomahawk steak that they come and serve at the tables.

Fucking like $185.

I was like, damn.

I was like, okay, perfect.

To me.

Yeah, pretty much.

And I was like, okay, well, I'm not going to fucking get that.

I was like, I'm just going to have to get me a fucking Tomok steak and just cook it on my fucking own.

I don't want to be pissed off.

Treat yourself.

Smart play.

So I got something else but not talking.

But let's rewind to when we showed up.

So we showed up at the time we were supposed to be there for our reservation Sunday afternoon at 02:00.

Finally, like 215, they're like, oh, your table's ready.

Okay.

So we go up, set us at a table, and then we sat there for 30 fucking minutes before anybody even came to our table and asked us if we wanted fucking water.

Was the table at least set? No, there was nothing more.

And this guy finally, like 30 minutes later walks by and he's like, oh, I didn't see you.

You didn't see the big black guy sitting at a fucking stark white ass fucking table? You didn't see me? You walked past me five fucking times.

Maybe he doesn't see color.

And so I'm sitting there and I'm just like, can we get some fucking water and like a menu so we can order something to fucking drink? I was like, is this all the drinks you have? Because they had a cocktail menu? Yeah, that's all we have.

Okay.

Can we get some fucking water? Yeah, I'll be right back and I'll take your orders.

Okay.

And off he disappeared into the land of Nardia without bringing you any menus.

So the menus were on the phone.

He neglected to mention that.

And there was like just a little card on the table that said that off the corner.

Right? So 15 minutes later we finally get water from someone else.

Some other guy was just like he randomly walked up and he's like some dude said he was going to go get his water.

That was like 15 minutes ago.

He's like, oh, that's not good.

And he walked away.

Came back like a minute later with fucking water.

Cool.

Can I get you guys drink started? I was like, this dude said that these are only drinks you have, like on the cocktail menu.

He's like, no, we have beer.

Like stuff.

I was like, so you do have beer? Cause I asked him that and he told me no.

He's like, that's weird.

And then the guy starts walking up and I was just like, I don't want you coming back to my table.

Fucking death.

So the guy walked up as the other guy was standing there.

Yeah.

Oh, perfect.

And so he goes, we ordered drinks.

And we finally like, get our drinks.

I don't know.

It was like ten minutes later, still ordered food finally.

So we had already been there for a fucking hour before we even ordered food.

We finally got our food, we ate and I was just like, let's get the fuck out of here.

Like, we ordered two entrees like aside and two drinks.

It was like 200 fucking bucks.

What? And I was just like, this was a waste of fucking money because this service sucked balls.

Like, I was walking downstairs and the hostess was just like, oh, thanks for joining us.

I was like, I will never fucking be back.

Piece the fuck out.

I threw up the deuces at him.

I walked the fuck out the front door.

I was like, no, won't do that again.

Oh, to the fucking milkshake bar before I go back to this fucking place.

That's wrong.

Milkshake bar.

sucks.

I can only see three reviews unless I download OpenTable because they don't have a Yelp review.

Apparently through for a reason.

Probably like, we don't want you.

We can't keep up all these terrible reviews.

So it's crashing.

Our system on OpenTable is 4.4 stars out of five out of almost 1400 reviews.

Birthday dinner.

The COVID patio is awesome.

Service was very good.

Food wonderful.

Get the paella.

Paella.

Get the paella.

Was fantastic.

And then $65 for that.

See, the place is in a fantastic location, but parking is terrible.

We ended up waiting 20 minutes after our reservation.

I got to download the app.

Oh no, I can see it.

Hold up.

I'm looking for the terrible reviews.

Of course you are.

I wonder the food was overpriced.

I got the pork skewers and they take fed like Porta Potty.

They taste like Porta Potty in my mouth.

Let's see porta Potty in my mouth.

Okay, two.

And it also breaks it down in categories.

So overall food service and ambience.

And food was a five.

Service was a three, ambience was two.

With this two star review, food was excellent.

However, we waited 20 minutes.

This is the one.

We waited 20 minutes once seated before anyone approached our table, fruit flies were horrible, buzzing around and landing on our food.

Management didn't seem to care.

Oh, that's it.

So the guy that owns the Solace, you know who other restaurants he owns, right? Yeah, Victoria.

I hope not cause that place is trash.

He owns the margarita factory.

That's the same guy? Yeah, same dude.

Same yeah, I think it's it okay.

So that motherfucker, he was trying to rebrand or reopen another place, his other place in downtown? Yeah.

That place burnt the fuck fire because they're trying to do this little firework show and it fucking caught literally caught fire inside.

They were trying to do a photo shoot and it caught fire like curtains and shit just went up in flames.

Did Christina put in a review? I don't know.

So Christina on here put two star was ignored for 30 minutes before anyone came to us to even give us water.

Then after that it was another 20 minutes before ordering food was okay.

But we'll not be back there.

Not worth the price.

You should totally text.

Proceed.

Probably never, but it says from Vegas.

That's the other thing.

So here we go.

One star review.

Our reservation for an outdoor patio table was not honored.

We specifically made our reservations not for the fire bar, but a perimeter table.

We were celebrating our 35th anniversary, but we're turned away by your staff who stated it was first come, first served, even though we had a reservation.

It's all caps, by the way.

I am especially irritated, disappointed and angry.

Yeah, I'm seeing a lot of, like a lot of the low star reviews are the same shit.

Waited half an hour, then waited an additional 20 minutes or waited three tiers of times to finally get our food.

But a lot of four and five star reviews.

Yeah, they're trying to make boo queue money so they can pay for that massive amount it costs to actually rent that space.

Yeah, or the money has to pay back from drug cartels.

No, the owner of Margarita factory literally got convicted of child molestation.

It was in the Columbian and everything.

And that's why I refuse to go to Margarita Jorge or the other one, because I'm not going to give my money to someone who can do that to a child.

Fuck that word.

No, that's hot.

Mike.

I mean, I've had bad restaurant experiences, but collectively at a bachelor party.

Yeah, we talked about that one.

Yeah, we did.

At the River Steakhouse.

Who the fuck knows that glass box? The steakhouse with only one steak on the menu, right? It's always a bad sign when you look at reviews and it says they have the best chicken strips ever.

Get the club sandwich.

It's delectable.

Do you guys actually read the reviews before you try new restaurants? I do sometimes.

Sometimes I do.

It depends.

I've heard about it before.

If not, I'm doing some research.

Sad.

You work in the industry, man.

You got to check this shit out.

Word of mouth.

Oh, for you.

For me? For me? Yeah.

Tell me something.

I might check it out.

Last time I had a not the last time.

The only time I remember having a really bad restaurant experience was like remember aesthetica? Yeah.

I think it was my one.

No, maybe it might have been my second time.

Like that was up here? Yeah, at the mall.

That sounded like Los Pepes or something like that.

Now, who knows? I just went there not too long ago.

I thought it changed like two or three times.

Or was it something before? It was it was Tony Romos when it first came up.

Tony Romos? Not Tony Romos.

One third broken collarbone, back broke a couple of times.

Yeah, I took my cousins there and they were like between eight and 13 or something.

Then.

Was it Mexican? Aztega? Yeah.

Or was it just oh, I sure wasn't Jamaican.

Well, they definitely had a head grilled cheese on the menu.

Everywhere has grilled for sure.

They have a hamburger, too.

This is main right now.

They fly haburger on there.

Chicken chips, fries.

I ordered, like, an enchilada, and the kids ordered like, non Mexican food.

Shit.

I bet right now they had those Creole cut fries too, didn't they? Yeah, probably the orita, but so gross, too.

Have you ever eaten one of, like, the creak cup fries for very long time? Like a Mexican restaurant.

You just like, sit there and you eat it and you're just like, chalk.

What the fuck is it? Hughie Wet? Or like they just untaught it and toss it on the plate or whatever else.

It's so bad.

It's the one bag, the very far back of that freezer that no one ever cleans.

It's like, all right, let's turn this freezer burger back.

Because which person's? Dumbass kid.

They'll come in here and order burgers when they got tacos, because if they don't serve chimichangas, what else would they do? Deep fry Fates, tequitos soapias, churros chilinosaurus.

Yeah, but you can get what was that what you were doing? Yeah, just tossadas.

Yeah, but that's not the shell for tacos.

I think we answered your question pretty well there.

Okay.

What else can we possibly have there? Well, how much do you want? Aesthetically, it's not going to happen.

Yeah.

Anyway, so on the grilled cheese, something tasted off with my enchilada.

And then when the kid picked up the grilled cheese, because they picked it up like this and then flipped it over, it was like a big fucking like half the bread was fucking moldy.

How the fuck you missed that and just put that on a plate and they took a bite out of it and like, no, stop.

No.

You are protected from diseases you're saved.

And that, children, is why you don't order white people food.

This bread is colorful.

It doesn't taste colorful.

Blue corn bread.

I see colors now.

That's the case of torta.

I can taste colors.

Oh, my God.

Do you make a recent trip to the casino? I didn't make a recent trip to the casino.

Well, since your last visit here.

So the date is March 17, 2020.

That's no reason.

No, but that is a significant date.

Yes.

Okay.

Specifically? 10:32 p.m.

Close.

You're very close.

My friend was working at the casino, and they're having an employee's America's Got Talent type thing.

Okay.

And so she can invite people to go and cheer on and all that kind of shit.

And so I was like, sure, I'll go.

I haven't been like, this is employee only.

Friends and family in the crowd.

No, like regulars.

Right.

Got you.

Okay.

So you walk in and then they have all these different things on the wall here.

They give you two raffle tickets, and you put your name on the raffle ticket and go drop into the box in front of the price you want to try to win.

And there's a lot of difference in there.

So I put one in, like, for a BMX bikes, and the other one I put in for Blazer tickets.

And they do the drawing, and they say, kevin Brooks, you want some Blazer tickets? I'm like, oh, fucking fantastic.

I haven't been to a Blazers game in forever.

And then 30 minutes later, I checked my phone while the rest of the contest is going on and said that the NBA has shut down for COVID indefinitely.

No, for two weeks.

Supposed to be for two weeks.

Yes, as we all remember.

So I went up to the guy.

I was like, hey, I don't know if you just saw this, but what do we do about these late tickets? He's like, well, you got to sign this and then put your email and your phone number down, and we'll call you to give you either place tickets in the future or give you some kind of alternative.

I'm like, money.

I mean, we all like money, but whatever.

So time goes past.

I check on it, like, once or twice here with my friend, and she's like, I'll put a word into the marketing guy or whatever, and then maybe out.

Two months ago, I was talking to my coworker where she was saying that she was going to Aliena because you get some free shit from alien.

Fast forward two months ago.

Yes, fast forward to two months ago.

Yes, two.

Two, yeah.

And then I was like, wait a minute.

I got a free shit coming.

I got a free shit coming from ala.

I got some Blazer tickets.

So I call.

There's no phone number specifically for the promotions manager or marketing manager or anything like that.

I called just a Joe line.

And I talked to this lady who obviously doesn't know what the fuck is going on because I claim the situation.

I'm like, I need to talk to these two people.

And she puts me on hold for about 20 minutes, comes back, and she's like, so I talked to the marketing person, and they don't recall ever giving anything away at any kind of employee event.

In fact, they don't even remember employee event either.

Click.

I was like, the fuck? Click.

Don't remember this.

They don't remember you.

Bye.

And so I was low heated.

So the next day after I got off work, I drove my ass oh, fuck it, now to the casino.

so when you walk in, I'm just like, hey, I need to know where to go talk to the marketing guy.

Adam is all fletchy now, and they told me I could go to guest services.

I was like, okay.

So I go to guest services where people go and get their fucking put in their fucking chips and they get the fucking money and shit like that.

The cashier.

Yeah.

By the time fucking I know that's a lot of editing work.

I'm happy to have you to go through all that.

And so I need to talk to the marketing manager and promotions manager, whoever.

And there's some big promotion going on, so I know that they're on fucking site.

So they bring me over to the right, and manager comes up and she's like, oh, so what's going on? I explained the whole situation.

And she was like, okay, hold on.

I'll be back.

About 15 minutes later, another woman comes up and she's like, so what's wrong? What's going on here? And I was like, well, this lady is already going to take care of it.

So I really don't feel like repeating the story.

It's already being handled.

And she's like, well, she's my manager, so I'm going to handle this.

I'm like, wait, I already went above you.

Exactly.

Going up, not down, right? I'm like, well, if she's your manager, then I don't really need to talk to you.

Like, she's handling it.

She's like, no, I'm going to handle it.

And she fucking told me to give her my ID.

I'm like, okay, well, I'm not repeating the story so you can talk to her about what's going on.

But she's already working on this for me.

And she comes back 20 minutes later and she's like, well, I talked to the promotions guy, and he's not on site.

I'm like, what do you mean he's not on site? You guys are doing a big promotion thing right now with giving free shit away for all of your VIP fucking customers.

What do you mean he's not on the site? And they're like, well, he'll give you a call tomorrow and to talk about this.

I was just like, okay, so riddle me this, because it's been about two years now, so when I don't get a phone call about this, what do I do? Call back? And she's like, try talking you asked that? Yeah, I asked that.

I thought you were asking us.

I was like, what do I do? When do they not call me back? And she's like, look, I told her I talked to them.

I'm like, no, that's not the question that I asked you're.

Trying to answer a completely different fucking question.

So once again, what do I do when they don't call me back tomorrow? And she's like, well, you just have to come back here and do it all over again.

I'm like, fuck you, bitch.

And I haven't got nothing.

I mean, I haven't gotten no Blazer games since right? Well, funny thing is that the marketing guy actually called me and he said it wasn't under marketing or promotions because it was an employee event, so it would have done with HR.

Oh, for God's sake.

Passing the and so they're like, okay, so we have your Blazer tickets.

So what game do you want to go to? And I was like, well, the schedule just came out.

I don't know what the fuck stuff.

And she's like, well, you're going to get suite tickets.

You're going to get parking.

You're going to get parking.

You should have said celtics.

Celtics versus I'm taking Byron.

He's my date.

My bad.

Well, I chose the Lakers in January.

How did I fucking know? I've never seen LeBron fly live.

So whatever.

Looks like I'm going on a date with Kevin in January.

Boulevron.

It was up to at least got to treat me to dinner first.

Sweet is going to have fucking food.

So sweet is not floorside.

No, I know.

I know.

What would you have preferred, though? For what? Tickets? Courtside behind the Lakers wrench? No, they said, hey, we've got suites and we've got courtside.

What do you want? Sweet.

They probably take the suite because of free booze and food.

And free parking.

And free parking.

Supposedly the elevator is going to take me right up to the suite, too.

Yeah, take us.

Well, I mean, the person I was going to take is no longer fucking going because she can go fuck herself.

But whatever.

Another date or another date, another story.

It's not a big story.

It's just somebody just all of a sudden claimed that they're not in love me anymore.

And I was like, wow, okay, well, I'm not going to fight that anymore.

First choice.

I think the applause was the appropriate I think that was the appropriate one just because as you guys know, we already went through a semi little break.

And then she came up with bullshit then.

And now she's coming to bullshit now because she also was like, I don't love you anymore, but I still love you as a friend.

And when she said that, I was like, now I'm done.

You have to find a new Amazon password.

Watching the boys.

Yeah, trust me, I thought about that.

And that's why Byron is my best friend.

And that's why Byron is going to definitely just going to be that dick that's like rooting against the Blazers.

But I'm also not going to be rooting for the Lakers because it's the Lakers.

I mean, the Lakers are owing three right now, and the Blazers are three looking like to not be that good of it.

I'm walking the fuck up in there in my Celtic shit.

I mean, literally after the first game, there's already shit being posted on ESPN.

Like how the Lakers are already out of contention for the playoffs.

Yeah, right.

Sounds like every meme about the Dallas Cowboys.

Except the Dallas Cowboys are winning right now.

I mean, they're playing Westbrook from the bench this year.

Are they? Wow.

Glad you signed on for that shit.

Not to change the subject.

Please do.

We can talk about the Lakers.

Yeah.

But now coming to realize my total lack of situation awareness.

I realized everyone here but me is wearing glasses.

Oh, you got glasses on your head.

Those are sunglasses.

I don't care.

They're not prescription.

So I can see.

I can see what happened, too.

You still have them.

I don't know what you're talking about.

In your hand.

I'd also like to note that for the five of us are also wearing hoodies right now.

Yeah, Sean.

The fuck? Seriously? Yeah.

Do not get the memo.

Are your glasses anti glare? Fuck if I know.

Anyways, don't know.

I like how you're all looking around.

You would know if they're not I didn't pay extra.

Okay.

You get to pay extra for that.

My insurance covers costs, so I got blue light filter in mind.

Yeah.

What blue light? Blue light is that no, I just don't get that one.

Yeah, you probably don't use that one.

No, just whatever, you know, let them figure it out.

Scientific method or Darwinism? Do you have blue light? I would think you would have blue light on your house.

No.

Okay, so we'll circle back to the other okay, perfect.

You play beer can.

Relax through it in there.

All right.

God, that completely derailed what I was going to say.

Fantastic, buddy.

Why does that taste like banana pudding? Which hold you? Can you smell with the rocket's cooking? Yeah.

I know.

Nazis get a bad rep.

You're still calm when you say that.

But you got to give credit where credit is due on some of the stuff that they did.

Preserve art.

Yes.

No.

So anti glare technology, it's all thanks to them.

What was the other thing? Did you know that the Saturn V rocket? Yeah.

Hydra.

That exists before then.

What's? Something else? Lots of great advancements in medicine and not a single animal was tested.

Because they tested it.

Six.

Son of a bitch.

They also had the first national anti smoking campaign.

This is your lungs after you smoked in the chamber.

I mean, I'm pretty sure all unfortunate was not there, but he's Austrian.

I know he's Austrians.

Yeah, the anti glare glare stuff was they had a lot of anti glare things going on.

Anti somethings.

So next time you're looking at a screen that has antiglare I heard they make really good showers, too.

Very clean.

Good night, everybody.

Was there a point to that? I just now wish no.

I really miss social media.

That was the point.

All right.

I'll give you an update on football next time.

Okay? Yeah.

Either I'll be super pissed off because you'll have more pissed off Nazis.

I mean, we're trying to go away for that.

I know.

I played madam for this.

They really make me hot.

Ryan, give us something.

Come on.

I got nothing that's something.

anything.

No.

You have to end a hot mic on Nazism.

How many juice can you fit in SUV? Oh, my God.

Thousand and five.

Three in the back seat, two in the front, thousand in the ashtray.

There's nothing Nazi about that.

Heard a Kanye likes a never mind.

I talk about nope, nope, nope.

Ryan, don't look at me with that stupid face.

Alright, good night, everybody.

Yay.

That was right on the olive.

Taste like sandwich.

Fantastic.

Music.

You're just listen to an episode of Pop Mike.

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No YouTube shit.

There we go.

That was one more.

All right, you.