Commons Church Podcast

What if the real miracle of love isn’t finding the right person—but becoming the kind of person who can stay?
In this final message of The Miraculous series, we explore the ancient story of Ruth and uncover a vision of love that goes far beyond romance. This is a story about commitment, community, and the quiet, steady work of choosing one another—again and again.
From friendships to family, from social responsibility to romantic connection, love is revealed as something we build, not something we stumble into. And maybe, just maybe, it’s this kind of love that holds everything together.
✨ If love is more than a feeling… what does it look like to practice it this week?

Commons Church
Calgary, Alberta
More messages: commons.church/watch
★ Support this podcast ★

What is Commons Church Podcast?

Sermons from Commons Church. Intellectually honest. Spiritually passionate. Jesus at the centre. Since 2014.

Jeremy Duncan:

Ruth is a love story. I have no problem with that designation. Just understand that this story is not gonna let us get away with our hallmark imagination of romance at the center. This is about love in all of its unexpected forms. This morning, we are gonna finish off our Eastertide series called the Miraculous.

Jeremy Duncan:

Now, this has not really been a series about miracles. It's more like a conversation about living in light of the miracle of resurrection. And really, what we're wanting to talk about here is living as if the world is more enchanted than we realize, which I think makes sense living in this Eastertide season of the light of resurrection. Now, today is actually the last week in that series. We're gonna talk about the miracle of love, but I do want to start by looking back over the series so far.

Jeremy Duncan:

Because three weeks ago, we started with, what I admitted on that Sunday was a bit of a strange sermon. I talked about the big bang and quantum dynamics. I talked about how God doesn't even really exist in the way we normally think of existence. God is instead, in the words of Paul Tillich, the very ground of being. God is what allows existence to be possible.

Jeremy Duncan:

God is what holds and sustains the universe together with love. And we talked about how we talk about that God using images and language drawn from our experience of the world. We use names like father and son and spirit. But I think what we're reaching toward is a way to name the relationship from which all existence blooms. Then Scott picked up and ran with that in the second week of the series, a sermon about Jesus caught in a storm.

Jeremy Duncan:

A passage that at least on its surface seems to be all about God's supernatural control over the weather. But perhaps speaks to something deeper than just that. Again, if God is the one holding and sustaining the universe, then calming a storm doesn't seem all that miraculous, to be honest. But that same God holding the universe in the storm with us, near us, in this our experience. Christ in the pages of the story to return to another image from the first week.

Jeremy Duncan:

That really does start to feel miraculous, which then took us to Philip on the dusty road to Gaza, where led by the spirit, he encounters an Ethiopian official. Except this time, we spent some time digging into Philip's background, his story to help us understand this story. And what do we find? Well, we find a guy whose first posting in the church was to speak up for and prioritize the marginalized. A guy who goes on to raise four unmarried daughters who all become prophets in their own right, in a world dominated by men.

Jeremy Duncan:

A guy who finds himself on this day on that dusty road doing what he's perhaps always done, which is looking for ways to serve those on the margins. And perhaps we could say even miraculously finding one. But the thing is, looking at the whole of Philip's story, that moment there starts to feel maybe not less miraculous, but certainly the product of a lifetime of choices that had slowly shaped Philip for that moment. And so what if all of these coincidences in our lives, all these moments where we are finally perked up to notice how serendipitous they are. What if what's special isn't the moment at all, but instead all the twists and the turns, the pitfalls and the triumphs, all the experiences that have brought us to that moment with the eyes to notice it.

Jeremy Duncan:

What if the world is actually full of those moments, and the miracle is simply becoming aware of the world around us? Well, that brings us to a final conversation. A conversation about this miracle we call love. First, let's pray. God of resurrection, ground of being, love that holds and sustains this universe around us.

Jeremy Duncan:

We pause now, not to escape your world, but to become more present to it. We ask that you would awaken us to the miracles we so easily miss around us, That you're here. In the quiet, the chaos, in the ordinary moments we rush past. Would you teach us to notice that your spirit moves in conversations and in coincidences in people that are placed beside us. And then, as we turn our attention today toward love, form us into people who don't just feel it, but who practice it, who look for it, who grow it on purpose in our lives.

Jeremy Duncan:

Give us courage to step toward one another, to shape our lives into reflections of your steady sustaining love that holds us. In the strong name of the risen Christ we pray. Amen. We've talked about the miracle of the universe, and we've talked about the miracle of God's presence, and the miracle of the way God helps us to notice the moment in front of us. Today is about the miracle of love, and we'll cover romantics at heart, surprising loves, our social safety nets, and the ground of love.

Jeremy Duncan:

But I'll put my cards on the table here. I am not the most romantic person in the room right now, And I know that only anecdotally, of course, in any kind of empirical way. I just know that in my forty eight years of existence, I don't think I have ever been the most romantic person in any room ever. I'm sorry, Rachel. I do try in my own way.

Jeremy Duncan:

However, this summer, we're planning to go away, my wife and I, on a bit of a vacation. First one we've taken in a very long time. Also, first one we have taken without our kids, which will be interesting. However, when this idea first came up, I started out with the intent of trying to put this plan together, plan out the trip with my wife. It's her idea after all, really.

Jeremy Duncan:

Let's be honest here. So let's do it together. But then finally, just straight up said to me, no. What I want is I want to go away, and I want you to plan it all. And I was like, finally, okay.

Jeremy Duncan:

That's the kind of romance I can do. Planning and booking, budgeting, spreadsheets, timelines. I got this. You can call me Romeo from here on out, babe. All this to say, it's probably not going to be the most romantic sermon out there.

Jeremy Duncan:

But I also want to suggest maybe there is a silver lining in that. Because I do think romance is important. So men and women who are wired more like me, this is not your permission slip to stop putting in work. I do also think that sometimes our fascination with romantic gestures can sometimes undermine a deeper enchantment with this real miracle of love, which at the end of the day, think is love that puts in work. Now, that's it.

Jeremy Duncan:

I may not be the most romantic person in the room, but I do have kids. One of them right now is a lovely little six year old girl who is the most beautiful thing in the universe, and she will tell me very randomly and very frequently, daddy, I love you, and that will make a romantic out of anyone. Have realized I'm a lot softer than I thought I was. Still today, I wanna turn to a story that often gets framed as a romance, but one that I think actually gives us a picture of love that is much deeper than we realize. And that's the book of Ruth.

Jeremy Duncan:

Now, we did a series on this book. It was maybe eleven years ago now. But if you find yourself intrigued today and want more detail, you can find that in our archives. Actually, you can find all 12 seasons of Commons on our YouTube channel or categorized logged for you all at commons dot church slash watch. But, what I wanna look at today is all the ways this story shows us a love that is more than discovered, it is intentionally formed.

Jeremy Duncan:

So here's the thing. Pop culture around us, I think wants to sell us what I might call a soul mate theory of love. Love exists out there, and the miracle is when you find it. The ancient wisdom of the scriptures on the other hand, I think suggest that the miracle of love is something we work our way slowly toward. Now, I'm not saying your partner's not your soul mate, but I am saying this, even if your soul mate is with you, that won't survive if you don't put in some steady steps toward them.

Jeremy Duncan:

So, let's take a look at this book. And this is how it opens. In the days when the judges ruled, there was a famine in the land. And so a man from Bethlehem in Judah, together with his wife and two sons went to live for a while in the country of Moab. Now, that line is of course setting the stage for the story that will follow.

Jeremy Duncan:

Also though, giving us some pretty important context here. In the days when the judges ruled. You might remember a couple years ago, we did a series called the last of them, and it was about Samuel, the last judge before the kings took over in Israel. In that series, we looked at a couple of the more famous judges, Deborah and Samson, for example, of course, Samuel. But in the whole era of the judges, it can be summed up in this constant yo yo effect that's going on in Israel.

Jeremy Duncan:

People turn to God and things go well, people turn away and it does not. So the people turn back to God and things go well until the people turn away and it doesn't. In fact, the last line of the book of Judges, the last words that we read before the opening line of Ruth are these words. In those days, Israel had no king and everyone did as they saw fit. So, not only is Ruth situated in the history of Israel's judges, this narrative is very much set in the scriptural moment that's going on.

Jeremy Duncan:

Things are chaotic and unruly. The nation, if you can even call it that, is more like a loose confederation of tribes. And unfortunately, what's happening in that chaos is that the most vulnerable within that society are more than ever being left to fend for themselves. Well, that kind of injustice only gets worse when a famine hits. And so this family decides to pack up and head to Moab.

Jeremy Duncan:

Now, things don't go well there either. This is verse two. That man's name was Elimelech. His wife's name was Naomi. And the names of their two sons were Maelon and Kilion.

Jeremy Duncan:

They were Ephrathites from Bethlehem, Judah, and they went to Moab and lived there. Now, Elimelech, Naomi's husband died and she was left with her two sons. They married Moabite women named Oprah, the other Ruth. But after they had lived there about ten years, both Maelon and Kilion died as well. And Naomi was left without her sons or her husband.

Jeremy Duncan:

So that's the setup for the story. Israel is in chaos. No one is in charge. This woman Naomi is living in a foreign country. Her husband has died.

Jeremy Duncan:

Her sons have died. She has two daughter in laws to care for and no property to her name. So what happens is that she decides to go back home to Bethlehem, to her hometown to see if someone will take pity on her. And she tells her daughter in laws, look, you should do the same. You should go back to your hometowns, try the same thing.

Jeremy Duncan:

Now, one daughter-in-law, take her up on that offer. The other, Ruth, decides to go with her. In fact, when Naomi tries to tell her, like, this is not a good plan. Like, there's no guarantee I'm gonna find any help in Bethlehem. You should probably go home to your family to get help.

Jeremy Duncan:

Ruth responds in verse 16 by saying, where you go, I will go. Where you stay, I will stay. Your people will become my people, and your God, my God. Where you die, so will I, and I'll be buried there with you. And what I want us to notice here today is in a story that is ostensibly about a romance between Ruth and Boaz, we'll meet him in a moment.

Jeremy Duncan:

The narrative begins with the love between Ruth and her mother-in-law Naomi. Now, that's not happenstance. I think that's a very intentional part of the tale. The writer wants to get us to romance, but the writer is also trying to root our concept of love in something much deeper than just attraction. Instead, in this somewhat incredible idea that two human beings can simply decide to look after each other.

Jeremy Duncan:

Listen to Ruth's words here. Your story is now my story. That is honestly about as good a definition for love as it gets. Because Ruth is a love story. It's just a story about how love comes in a lot more forms than we expect.

Jeremy Duncan:

Sometimes even love for our in laws. That's a joke by the way. My in laws are great and I do love them. The point remains though, the story isn't a romance, it's a love story. One in which romance is one expression of that love.

Jeremy Duncan:

And I think that's important even within our romances. I mean, one of the things about pastoring a church like Commons is you get asked to do a lot of weddings, and that's always a real honor. Whenever I can, I am incredibly blessed to be part of those moments? But one of the things I find really interesting about meeting with couples as they're in those last moments heading toward their wedding is just how in love they are in that moment. Right?

Jeremy Duncan:

I mean, if you sat down and you ask those couples a month out from their wedding, while they're writing their vows, planning all those last details, if they needed anyone else but their partner, they would almost invariably say, no. It's you and me against the world, baby. Now, that sounds nice. Probably the right answer by the way in that moment. Not particularly realistic though.

Jeremy Duncan:

Don't get me wrong, your spouse can be your lover, and a confidant, and a listening ear, and a cheerleader, and a friend, and sometimes all at the same time. But, if you're asking your partner to play all of those roles all of the time, eventually, any relationship will crumble under the weight of that kind of expectation. Sometimes you need a partner. Sometimes you need a friend. Once in a while, you might even need a mother-in-law.

Jeremy Duncan:

And our experience of love is not diminished by acknowledging all of the different relationships in which we experience love. In fact, I would argue that when they're working the way they're intended to, even when they have this multiplicity of relationships all in their proper lanes, each of them help the others stay viable over the long run. Your friendship should be a net positive for your marriage. If they're not, maybe you have some reevaluating to do about those friendships. But at the same time, if your marriage isn't making room for your friendships to flourish, maybe there's adjustments to make there as well.

Jeremy Duncan:

All of us need a web of relationships if any of us are gonna make it out alive. Now, me say this. I get it. That is very generic advice that takes shape over the course of a lifetime. There are seasons where one core relationship, maybe your marriage really does feel like it's the only one you've got to lean on.

Jeremy Duncan:

Absolutely. That's true. I remember twenty seven years ago when Rachel and I moved across the country to Calgary. No family in the province. No friendship network to lean on.

Jeremy Duncan:

Thankfully, had moved here to work for a church. So there's a little bit of built in community there. But, we took on that adventure, just the two of us, and it really was us against the world. It was wonderful. In a lot of ways, think that experience did strengthen our marriage for the long haul, but we also realized at some point, we were gonna need to get to work on building out the web.

Jeremy Duncan:

Like finding friends, each of us looking for mentors, both of us, making sure we weren't asking our marriage to do something more than it was designed to do. Here's my point. Ruth is a love story. I have no problem with that designation. Just understand that this story is not gonna let us get away with our hallmark imagination of romance at the center.

Jeremy Duncan:

This is about love in all of its unexpected forms. So what happens? Well, Ruth returns with Naomi to Bethlehem, which ironically means the house of bread, which is what they need. And when they get there, Ruth begins to glean in the fields. Now, what does that mean?

Jeremy Duncan:

Well, at its most basic, it simply means she would go around to the local grain fields and wander around the edges picking up any leftover grain that she could find for her and Naomi. Now, this was a practice that was very uniquely instituted as part of the social safety net in ancient Israel. In Torah, Leviticus 19, we read this command. When you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the very edge of your field or even gather the gleanings of your harvest. Don't go over the vineyard a second time or pick up the grapes that have fallen.

Jeremy Duncan:

Leave them for the poor and the foreigner. Now Ruth fits both of those categories, by the way. So this is all fair game for her. But again, Deuteronomy 24, we also read, when you're harvesting in your field and you overlook a sheaf, don't go back and get it. Leave it for the foreigner, the fatherless, for the widow, also that the Lord your God may bless you in all the works of your hands.

Jeremy Duncan:

This passage in Deuteronomy also goes on to say the same thing about your grapes and your olives, the way. Just leave them. Point being, the goal in life is not to extract everything you can even from your own property. The goal is to harvest what you've been blessed with and leave anything you can't carry behind. So it can be a blessing to whoever comes next.

Jeremy Duncan:

By the way, early Christians really loved this. They went even farther. Basil the Great, in the fourth century, once wrote a sermon where he said, the bread that you hold back, that belongs to the hungry. And the coat which you keep guarded and locked storage, that belongs to the naked. Those footwear moldering in your closet, they belong to those without shoes.

Jeremy Duncan:

The silver you keep hidden away, that belongs to the one in need. Now, notice, Basil doesn't say you don't get to harvest or that you shouldn't enjoy the fruits of what you reap. He simply says, look, the principle still holds. If you can't carry it, maybe you don't need it. Now, what's my point here in a story about love?

Jeremy Duncan:

Well, we're reading a story that's making its way toward romance. That's the climax. Fair. But it starts with the love between a mother-in-law and daughter, then it moves straight into the significance of our social safety nets around us for our neighbor. I think this story is doing a lot more to inculcate our concept of love than we sometimes give it credit for.

Jeremy Duncan:

Do you remember Ruth's line to Naomi? Your story will be my story. What do you think rules about gleaning are all about? Your neighbor's story is your story. What I can't carry belongs to you, even if we haven't met yet.

Jeremy Duncan:

Love is so much more than just two people that happen to find each other. It's the web of all the different connections and obligations. All the ways we care for each other in ways that even allow something like a romance to blossom. Like friendships, mother-in-law, social safety nets, perhaps even public gatherings like this here in this room right now. All of these are expressions of love, friendship, connection that allow us to then gently explore how our story connects one to another.

Jeremy Duncan:

And lo and behold, it's this institutional love expressed in a social safety net across the society. That's what provides the setting for now two people to meet. So Ruth went out, entered a field, began to glean behind the harvesters. And as it turned out, she was working in a field belonging to Boaz, who was from the clan of Elimelech. Just then Boaz arrived from Bethlehem and greeted his harvesters, the Lord be with you.

Jeremy Duncan:

And the Lord bless you, they answered back. Then Boaz asked the overseer of his harvest, who does this young woman belong to? First of all, let's be honest here. That wording is a little rough. Who does this young woman belong to?

Jeremy Duncan:

A little grating to our ears. And we have to acknowledge very ancient, very patriarchal culture, this language here reflects that. However, also, there are some scholars who think the phrasing here is less about quote unquote ownership and more about simple honest inquiry. One scholar I read this week, Edward Campbell Junior, even suggests we should probably translate this differently. More like, where does this young woman fit in?

Jeremy Duncan:

His suggestion is really that the question is about who is she? Where does she come from? Who are her people? Hence, the phrasing, where does she belong to? But also, how did she get here?

Jeremy Duncan:

Here in my field. And look, if the dude has eyes for her, I think that makes sense. He's looking for his way into her story. Still, what happens here? Well, Boaz says, look, glean as long as you want.

Jeremy Duncan:

You can eat and drink with my staff. You make sure no one gets in your way. Ruth goes home to Naomi and says, look, I got great news. I met this guy Boaz. I think it's gonna be okay.

Jeremy Duncan:

I know. He says, wait a minute. I know that guy. I'm related to him. He might even be our guardian redeemer.

Jeremy Duncan:

Now, guardian redeemer. What is that all about? Well, this is somewhat obscure Jewish term. Also has roots back in Leviticus and Deuteronomy. And it was a role that came with a few responsibilities assuming the person could fulfill them.

Jeremy Duncan:

So, essentially, the idea was that if a close relative was forced to sell their land, the guardian redeemer or Goel would be obligated to buy it back for the family if they could. Second, if a man died before he had an heir that had been born, therefore leaving his wife without any property, his brother would be expected to marry that widow, and then their first child would carry on the deceased brother's name and look after the mother. What's interesting here is actually none of that applies. First of all, Boaz is not Eli Malek's brother. Second, Ruth is not Eli Malek's wife.

Jeremy Duncan:

Naomi was. So Boaz actually has no legal obligation here at all despite Naomi's hopes. And in fact, when it becomes clear that Ruth and Boaz are actually interested in hooking up, Boaz realizes, look, I'm not even the closest relative. I can't redeem Naomi's story at all. He actually has to bring the option to another relative who thankfully uses a technicality to get out of his obligation so Boaz can swoop in.

Jeremy Duncan:

Point is, when Naomi brings up the guardian redeemer angle to continue the story about social obligation, the text then actually quickly undermines it in order to make the shift from obligation to something that we now choose for ourselves. And ultimately, I think this is what I want us to pay attention to today. At a story, at on the surface, plays out like an ancient hallmark romance. Like, let's be honest here. Big city Moabite girl, struck by unexpected tragedy, decides to move to her mother in law's small town hometown, and there meets the guy who runs the local vineyard?

Jeremy Duncan:

There's a risque midnight encounter to set the sexual tension. Things are going pretty well, and then all of a sudden, there's an unexpected cousin who's gonna mess it all up. Thankfully, he's too greedy for his own good, leaving Ruth free to marry Boaz, live happily ever after with mom safe in the guesthouse, no less. Even that kind of story, which, yes, honestly, probably does the ancient equivalent of you've got mail. And don't lie.

Jeremy Duncan:

I know you've watched Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan fall in love more times than you can possibly count. Even that story, at every point along the way, refuses to root its concept of love in just the miracle of Kismet. Instead, it's rooted in this rolling, evolving story involving familial relations, and social safety nets, and sexual chemistry, and avoided obligations. A story that is saying, love isn't something that just happens to us. It's something that we slowly steadily create for ourselves.

Jeremy Duncan:

Which is why I think I'm increasingly convinced that the miracle love isn't something we fall into. The miracle is that somehow we find a way to stay there. That we stick with each other even when it doesn't make sense, just like we watch Ruth do for Naomi. And then we learn about each other even when we don't have to, just like we do when we learn about caring for our neighbors and social safety nets, that we step into obligations even when we're not forced to, just like we do when two of us decide to put a ring on it. Because every step along the way, we are figuring out love one relationship at a time.

Jeremy Duncan:

And when we do, I think then finally, we start to understand the very reason that anything exists at all. I'm convinced that it's our small and fumbling slowly evolving imagination of love that hints at the kind of love that holds the universe together. I love that it's rooted not in a miraculous suspension of the rules, but a steady sustained commitment to hold us close regardless of where the story winds. See, a year ago when we put all these series together and we're mapping out the sermons for the year, I had this silly idea that I was gonna start by talking about the big bang and quantum dynamics and how that made me fascinated with the idea of God. And I was gonna end with the idea that it was the experience of my life with my wife and my kids that has taught me the most about that God.

Jeremy Duncan:

Because slowly, I'm starting to become convinced that love is the most true, perhaps the only true thing that there is. And that somehow, love really is then what sits beneath absolutely everything. If the universe really is just a series of relationships all the way down until at the quantum level all that's left is relationships, then maybe the way that you and I teach ourselves to love, to care for each other, maybe that is more consequential than we can even begin to fathom. And so maybe that's where we end this series. After talking about quantum dynamics and big bangs, after finding ourselves caught in storms and sensing God's presence, after sitting with the beauty of coincidence and our ability to notice moments of serendipity.

Jeremy Duncan:

Maybe all of it just comes down to this. The only miracle that really matters is how we will choose to truly love something this week. The love to repair something that maybe we'd rather avoid, or the love to let go of something that we have kept very guarded for too long. The love to create something that's been inside of us for too long. The silver possibility of expanding our web to unexpected friendships that we haven't met.

Jeremy Duncan:

The new possibilities we can't even begin to see on the horizon just yet. Because what if it all boils down to the slow imperfect process of learning how to choose each other over and over again. And that that process is the reflection of the very thing that holds all things together. The miracle, not of a love that finds us once, but the kind of love that we keep fighting our way back toward. Trusting that as it shapes us, we will find ourselves closer to perhaps even beginning to understand the God who first formed us.

Jeremy Duncan:

Let's pray. God, for all the ways that we miss the grand miracle of love, that we forget how special it is, that we can choose to be held together, that we can sit in a room surrounded by people whose stories intersect with ours, and that we can choose to care for them, to look after them, to be loved by them, and that even those connections and relationships reflect a deeper structure of the universe, where you hold and sustain all things so that we can find our way back to you. God, might we come to believe that the ways that we love in slow stumbling steps, in all of our failures and failings. But when we do our best in grace and peace to care for and love each other, we are actually coming to understand you more clearly. Your heart, your path, the way that you are healing all things.

Jeremy Duncan:

So God help us to love well this week. And in that, would you draw us back to the people we were meant to be. In the strong name, the risen Christ we pray. Amen. Hey Jeremy here and thanks for listening to our podcast.

Jeremy Duncan:

If you're intrigued by the work that we're doing here at Commons, you can head to our website commons.church for more information. You can find us on all of the socials commonschurch. You can subscribe to our YouTube channel where we are posting content regularly for the community. You can also join our Discord server. Head to commons.churchdiscord for the invite, and there you will find the community having all kinds of conversations about how we can encourage each other to follow the way of Jesus.

Jeremy Duncan:

We would love to hear from you. Anyway, thanks for tuning in. Have a great week. We'll talk to you soon.