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Kamini Wood works with high achievers on letting go of stress, overwhelm and anxiety that comes with trying to do everything, and trying to do it all perfectly
Hi there, and welcome to another episode of Rise Up Live Joy Your Way, whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening. Thank you for spending some time with me. So I'm curious, have you ever opened up about a struggle and you were met with responses such as just stay positive or everything happens for a reason?
While these words might be well-meaning and well-intentioned, they often leave us feeling invalidated or unheard or [00:01:00] even. Having us feel guilty, and this is known as toxic positivity, the idea that maintaining this relentlessly positive outlook regardless of the circumstances is the only way forward. So today I wanna dive into why toxic positivity might actually do more harm than good, and that it's important to be able to have our genuine emotions.
So I wanna start by defining toxic positivity. It refers to the pressure to remain cheerful and optimistic, even when facing genuine difficulties. And it dismisses and invalidates the real emotions, like sadness and grief, anxiety, anger. And it suggests that those negative feelings are unacceptable and shameful.
But the truth is that human beings are meant to experience the full range of emotions. Research has shown that. There's an importance of recognizing and processing all of your emotions authentically. Emotion agility is the ability to acknowledge an emotion, sit with it, and then respond to it thoughtfully instead of reacting impulsively or suppressing the emotions.
And studies consistently demonstrate that [00:02:00] harmful the harmful effects of toxic positivity. For instance, research published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found that suppressing negative emotions leads to increased anxiety. Stress and even physical health issues. So when we deny our emotions or push them down, they don't disappear.
Instead, what happens is they manifest in deeper emotional and distress, and also come out in these physical symptoms. Social media often exacerbates this toxic positivity because you know, we see these curated highlight reels and. Workplaces also unintentionally foster the dynamic, discouraging, genuine emotional expression and vulnerability.
And even in our own relationships, we might fear judgment or rejection if we admit that we're struggling or, um, you know, what ends up happening is we just feel emo emotionally isolated. So let me just illustrate this with an example. A client that I was working with presented herself routinely as upbeat, and then friends and colleagues also admired this persona.
And she believed and they believed that she handled all of her pressures. Without any, any [00:03:00] struggle, but eventually this emotional suppression led to burnout and led to increased anxiety. So through coaching, she learned the power of emotional authenticity, and what we worked on was acknowledging and then expressing her true feelings.
And when she was able to do that, she was able to create these deeper connections, increased her resilience, and also her emotional wellbeing. Authentic positivity is acknowledging the good and the difficult, uh, which actually in this client's case, became her new way of showing up. And so practicing this emotional agility does involve four critical steps.
One is showing up and fully acknowledging what your feelings are without judgment. The second is stepping out, observing your emotions, objectively, recognizing you have the feelings, but you're not your feelings, right? So don't over identify with them. It's just a part of you's feeling that way. Then walking your why, making decisions aligned with your core values, even.
Even in the, in the presence of those emotions, and then taking purposeful values-based action rather than reacting impulsively. [00:04:00] These steps will allow you to genuinely process your emotions and turn the discomfort into opportunities for growth. If you're ready to move beyond toxic positivity, here are some strategies that you can start implementing First, genuine emotional validation.
Allow yourself and others for their emotional experiences replace dismissive statements with empathetic ones such as. Wow, I really can see that you're hurting and I'm here with you. The second thing is to embrace journaling. Spend a few minutes actually recording your feelings without labeling them as good or bad.
They're just feelings, and that practice helps cultivate that emotional awareness and also a sense of acceptance. And then third is to expand your emotional vocabulary. Naming your emotions actually empowers you to move beyond them, and it increases your emotional resilience and your emotional intelligence.
And just remembering that authentic positivity isn't about ignoring life's challenges. It's about embracing all aspects of our experiences. [00:05:00] And when we honor our genuine emotions, we create deeper connections, build true resilience, and also are able to create and live into authentic joy. If this resonates with you and you're ready to step into that emotional authenticity and resilience, and you wanna explore how coaching could help you do that, please feel free to reach out to me at any time at coachwithkamini.com and until next time, stay well.