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A Shovavim series learning a Torah approach to shmiras einayim and shmiras habris, with practical tools and perspectives.
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So starting part five,
nearly the end of the series.
Just to give an overview of the entire series,
we started off by speaking about the importance of speaking about this סוגיא,
and how realizing that the desire is a natural one,
and it's a good one in its core,
in its essence.
Then we spoke about avoiding the battle,
setting up all the guards in order to ensure that you won't enter the
struggle to begin with.
And the last two sessions we spoke about at the time of the battle,
how to give yourself strength,
how to create an anchor that will hold strong at a time when there's
a battle.
And today,
this one and the next one,
we'll be speaking about הסר שטן מאחורינו.
There's a שטן לפנינו and there's a שטן אחרינו.
The שטן לפנינו is the one ahead of time who tries to convince us
to sin.
And then that same שטן afterwards,
he stands just after a person sins in order to break the self-image,
to break down a person's identity,
and to make him associate himself with the biggest רשע in the world that
ever existed,
and thereby weaken his resolve to continue anything in the future.
Because such a רשע like you,
after doing such an act,
you don't deserve to pray,
you don't deserve to learn,
you don't deserve to exist.
And that's the כח that the יצר הרע has immediately after the fact.
And we're going to learn בעזרת השם that recognizing that that's his role and
that's what he's doing,
recognizing that it's not true,
and how to hold strong against it.
So I want to start off with a משנה in פרקי אבות,
in פרק ב,
משנה יג.
רבי שמעון says,
אל תהי רשע בפני עצמך.
Don't be a רשע in your own eyes,
to yourself.
Don't consider yourself a רשע.
Don't view yourself as someone who's a רשע,
says רבי שמעון.
And both רבינו יונה and the רמב״ם explain,
שלא יהא רשע בפני עצמו שאיני יכול לחזור בתשובה.
Don't consider yourself a רשע,
meaning that you think you've gone too far and that you can't do תשובה
anymore.
What's wrong with thinking that?
Maybe by me it's true.
Maybe I've done such bad things that it's too late for me and I've
gone too far,
what's wrong with thinking that?
שנמצא זה מתיאש לבו מן התשובה,
because if a person thinks that,
then he'll give up hope of even doing תשובה.
ואם באת לידו עבירה,
and then if another עבירה comes to him,
הותרה לו.
He says,
what's the problem with doing that?
I'm so far gone anyway,
you think this is going to make a difference?
Last year,
פסח time,
I met a guy who I knew him from the post-ישיבה experience,
but he told me a story of when he was in high school,
that he went with a group of friends traveling in Europe.
And it wasn't with a מהדרין tour guide that they were traveling with.
And they were in a certain place and there were these chips that were
being fried,
and the one of them wanted to eat them.
So the other one said,
'I don't know if you're allowed to,
it's כשר?
You don't know what the oil is,
בישול עכו״ם,
we didn't know all the הלכות.'
So then he says,
'Okay,
I'm phoning my rabbi back in Israel.'
Says,
'You're phoning a rabbi?'
Says,
'Yeah,
we can't eat until I phone my rabbi.'
So the guy I met said,
'Do you see what's happening here?
Like,
we're doing all these things that,
like,
the rabbi definitely would not approve of,
and now on this,
on the בישול עכו״ם,
we're phoning the rabbi and asking the rabbi,
like,
doesn't make any sense?'
So this guy that I was talking to,
in his mind,
once you're already doing all these other עבירות,
then,
like,
give me a break.
Like,
this is light in respect to what I've done already.
This doesn't make a difference.
I've gone so far,
and I've done so many bad things,
you think this now is going to make a difference?
Now I want to tell you another story of the other direction.
This is one of the most powerful stories.
Someone who I know lives nearby here.
I only again,
I only knew him as someone פרום.
But he told me,
'You know,
I wasn't always פרום.'
I said,
'Really?
I didn't know that.'
He said,
'Yeah,
let me tell you the story of how I became פרום.'
Said,
'Okay.'
He said,
'It was Friday night,
and I was hanging out on the street with my friends,
and I was smoking.
And a rabbi walked past,
and he said to me,
'You know,
you shouldn't smoke on שבת.'
So he said,
'I can't give up smoking.'
So he said to me,
'Well,
at least at the end,
don't put it out.
Just just put it down and let it go out by itself.'
And he said "But I'm lighting it."
Said,
"Okay,
but don't put it out.
At least that you can do.
That way,
I'm not saying you're allowed to smoke,
but at least putting it out is another איסור דאורייתא.
Don't do that.
Just put it down.
So take upon yourself to do that."
So the guy said,
"Okay."
And he took upon himself not to extinguish the cigarette.
And he didn't extinguish the cigarette.
And then he said to himself,
not right at that moment,
but with time he said to himself,
"It makes a difference to God that I don't extinguish the cigarette?
That makes a difference?"
And then he said,
"So I won't light the cigarette either."
And today he's got פאות,
and and he's he's got a son in class with my son,
and good kids,
פרום family,
unbelievable.
So this goes in both directions.
If a person considers themselves a רשע,
and they've done all these bad things to begin with,
and they're so bad,
they're so far gone,
and they're doing these big,
big עבירות,
then this other עבירה comes their way,
like the language of the רבנו יונה,
אם באתה לידו עבירה,
he says,
"I'm anyway a רשע.
Like this extra thing is not going to make a difference.
I'm so far gone.
What does it make a difference to eat these chips now after I've done
all these terrible things?
Like I'm anyway,
like,
out of the game."
You know there's a time when you're in the game,
and then you're out of the game?
You've anyway lost.
You know when you've gone so far,
you've anyway lost?
There's no point in continuing because it's not going to help at this point.
So,
"I'm anyway gone.
It's too far.
It doesn't make a difference."
But then there's the story the other way around where a person says,
"Every everything you do makes a difference.
It doesn't matter how far you've gone.
I'm not telling you to smoke on שבת,
but don't put out the cigarette."
Whoa,
that makes a difference?
That makes a difference?
You mean I'm I'm still in the game?
I'm still in the game?
What I'm doing still counts?
And the רמב״ם also says this on that same משנה:
כשיחשוב עצמו חסר ופחות לא יגדל בעיניו חסרון שיעשהו.
When a person considers himself a loser,
and he's out of the game,
then it won't be a big deal for him to do something wrong,
because he already says,
"I'm out of the game."
The same רמב״ם,
but in a different place,
in מורה נבוכים,
this is in חלק ג׳,
and he's explaining all the rationale behind מצוות.
And he goes through the different מצוות and explains the rationale.
And the goal there is to show that the מצוות aren't just actions,
but there's a mindset behind them.
In other words,
you are supposed to be acquiring a perspective by doing a מצוה,
not just doing the מצוה as an action,
but you have to understand what God wants you to understand,
the viewpoint,
the perspective,
the world view behind the מצוה.
And this is what he writes in מורה נבוכים חלק ג׳
ל״ו:
ברור שגם התשובה היא מן הדעות שמציאות בני הדת לא תהיה סדירה אלא אם
מאמינים בהם.
If you don't believe in תשובה,
then you can't function as a Jew.
כי בהכרח יחטא האדם ויכשל.
It's definitely going to happen,
you're going to sin.
It's definitely going to happen,
you're going to fall.
אם בבורות לגבי דעה.
Sometimes it's because you just don't know the הלכה properly.
או מדע שהוא מבכר אף על פי שבאמת אין היא רצויה.
Or you have a debate about something,
you have priorities,
and you choose the wrong thing.
או בהתגברות תאוה או כעס.
Or just sometimes the desire overwhelms you.
But you're definitely going to sin,
it's going to happen.
What's going to happen next?
אילו האמין האדם שאין מרפא לשבר הזה לעולם.
If a person doesn't believe in תשובה,
they say there's no way of fixing it.
If I've broken something,
it can never be redeemed.
It's a lost case,
it's gone.
היה מתמיד בטעותו.
He's going to carry on in his strayed path,
because I'm anyway out of the game.
ואולי אף חוטא עוד יותר.
Maybe he'll even do more sins.
If a person views himself as a רשע,
and that's the label that he gives himself,
then he's going to do more עבירות now.
It's going to make things worse.
מאחר שלא נותרה לו עצה,
because he doesn't have an עצה anyway,
he's already way lost.
אך,
however,
what הקדוש ברוך הוא wants us to believe,
and that's why he's going to give us certain מצוות,
but it's not about the מצוות per se,
it's about the belief behind the מצוות.
What Hashem wants us to believe is האמנת תשובה שמאפשרת לו לחזור למוטב.
God always wants you to stay in the game,
no matter how far you've gone.
And therefore God says you can always do תשובה,
no matter how far you've gone.
You're never out of the game.
You're never a רשע which has gone too far.
There's no such thing you can do which is so far that you can't
come back.
There's no such thing.
ולשוב למצב טוב יותר ושלם יותר ממה שהיה בו לפני החטא.
I just want to read that line again.
Sometimes people say,
"Okay,
I can do תשובה,
but I can never get back to where I was."
If you say that,
that's not what the רמב״ם says.
So if you if you're following the רמב״ם,
who is rational,
yeah,
he's rational.
So if you're following rational thought,
then this isn't what the רמב״ם says.
The truth is with תשובה If you believe in it,
it enables you to come back למוטב ולשוב למצב טוב יותר ושלם יותר ממה
שהיה בו לפני החטא.
You can reach an even higher level than you were before the sin.
So meaning if you fell,
not only is it false to say,
"Ah,
I'm a רשע now,
that's it,
I'm gone."
Not only is that false,
but it's actually the opposite.
Someone who did a sin can reach a higher level than they were beforehand.
Every year on on שבועות,
there's a particular story,
which is a very long story which I'm not going to tell now,
but בעזרת השם the opportunity will come our way,
which I share with my family.
And every year I have the same discussion with one of my kids because
they're bothered by one point in the story,
and then I try and fix it every time.
But every and they know it already,
they ask the question again,
I answer the answer again,
happens every year.
But in the story,
there's someone who was on a good path and then they went off the
דרך,
and they come back and they're better than they were before.
That's what happens in the story,
just like the רמב״ם says.
Someone who was a רשע,
and they came back and they're even better.
And in the story,
there's like a comparison between someone who stayed on the straight path,
who like remained good all the time and they reached a certain good level,
and the one who went off the דרך,
and when they got back,
they got back to an even higher level.
And you understand what the purpose of the story is there,
like we're speaking about now.
Even if someone did something bad,
they can come back,
they become even greater,
like the רמב״ם says.
And every year one of my kids says,
"אבא,
it's not fair!
What,
you want me to go off the דרך to become the best I can
be?
Like I'm just trying to be good,
I'm just trying to do the straight thing.
So like why it's so unfair that I'm going to be on a lower
level than someone who's going to go off the דרך and come back,
and like how is that fair?"
The discussion every year.
And every year I give the answer that like it's not our חשבון to
make.
There are some people who הקדוש ברוך הוא gives them a ישרות,
and they go on the straight path and they're going to reach the best
they can reach.
And that might be better than if they would fall,
because it wasn't their destiny to fall necessarily.
And there are some people who are more volatile,
and the way that הקדוש ברוך הוא made them is that they fall,
they fall,
and they come back.
And their nature,
because they fall lower,
then they rise up higher.
You know what they say in English,
the greater you are,
the harder you fall,
but it's the other way,
actually.
It's the harder you fall,
the greater you get.
That's the real way that it goes.
So I say to my kids every year,
like if הקדוש ברוך הוא made you ישר,
then you're going to reach the greatest place that you can reach by remaining
ישר.
And if someone is volatile,
then they need to know that they're not out of the game.
So it's important to hear that story.
So then my kid always says,
"So,
אבא,
so why do you tell us that story?
Because like we're not off the דרך."
I say,
"Because it's a nice story and it fits in so beautifully to שבועות,
and it's like it's a powerful story,
it's worthwhile telling.
But take the message that מוסר,
this is a this is a lifelong message,
מוסר always has to be adapted to the person.
If you hear a piece of מוסר and it works for you,
then take it and ride the wave.
And if you hear a piece of מוסר and it rubs you the wrong
way because maybe it's not that's not That advice is advice which is good
for someone else,
but it's not good advice for you.
Someone who is depressed,
you don't want to give him advice about שפלות הרוח and it's not going
to be good advice for him.
So you have to know everything is true.
It's not that some things are true,
some things are false.
חז״ל are giving advice to a range of people,
and you have to know where in the range you are,
and take the right advice of the מוסר.
So if you hear מוסר and it's good for you,
then take it and let it build you.
And if you hear מוסר and it makes you feel demotivated,
then recognize that that was good מוסר for someone else in their situation,
it might not be good מוסר for you,
so just put it on hold.
You don't need to let it demotivate you.
You can just say that wasn't for me,
but that's going to help someone else."
So from the רמב״ם you see,
and from the משנה in פרקי אבות you see,
that defining oneself as a רשע,
that's part of the goal of the יצר הרע.
In fact,
that's even a bigger goal than making you sin.
If we would present it as two options of the goal of the יצר
הרע:
to get you to sin or to get you to view yourself as a
רשע,
which would be the main goal?
So most people would say it's to get you to sin.
If the יצר הרע can get you to sin,
that's his goal,
mission accomplished.
But that's small change for the יצר הרע.
That's just the one sin.
That's easy for him,
that's not a big deal.
Because if you still view yourself as a צדיק,
then okay,
you sinned,
but by the following evening,
that evening,
you're going to do תשובה,
and you're going to be back in the game.
So to get you to sin for the יצר הרע,
that's small change.
But if the יצר הרע,
after you sin,
can get your identity and can transform the way you view yourself as a
רשע,
now he's got you curled around his little pinky.
Now he's got you for life.
He doesn't have to work hard anymore.
You already are defining yourself as a רשע now!
He doesn't have to convince you to sin and it's going to be against
your will.
He's going to just say,
"This is who you are,
carry on doing what you need to do."
And you'll say,
"Yes,
that's who I am.
That's what I need to do."
So for the יצר הרע,
it's not the pushing you down that's his main goal,
it's that once you're on the floor,
it's shouting you and saying,
"You are a lost case,
you're a goner,
that's who you are."
Let's see that idea in the פסוקים.
Sin of אדם הראשון.
ויקרא ה' אלוקים אל האדם ויאמר לו איכה.
Now,
that's a funny thing to say.
Why did Hashem say that?
Why didn't He just say,
"You sinned,
I'm going to punish you"?
Why is this whole discussion taking place?
אדם הראשון sinned,
he should be kicked out of גן עדן,
finished!
But that doesn't happen.
There's a whole middle section which we need to understand why it's there.
Hashem first says,
"איכה."
And חז"ל say at that point Hashem was still willing to forgive him.
Meaning,
the sin of eating of the fruit,
that by itself wasn't enough to be kicked out of גן עדן.
Hashem was still willing to forgive him in that place,
because the sin isn't the main point,
that's not the goal of the יצר הרע.
ויאמר את קולך שמעתי בגן ואירא כי עירם אנכי ואחבא.
"Well,
I heard Your voice,
and I was scared,
I wasn't dressed."
So okay,
fine,
you know,
you don't need to excuse yourself,
don't worry,
let's try again.
ויאמר מי הגיד לך כי עירם אתה.
He's still trying to help אדם הראשון just to say,
"I'm sorry,
I made a mistake."
If he would say that,
everything would still be okay.
Hashem isn't yet determining,
giving a פסק דין,
that אדם הראשון is out of the game.
He's not yet out of the game.
"איכה,
where are you?"
"Oh,
I'm hiding."
"Okay.
Okay,
who told you you can't eat from-" Hashem's trying to bring him out.
ויאמר האדם האישה!
It's always the woman's fault!
אשר נתתה עמדי,
actually God,
it's Your fault,
that You gave me!
היא נתנה לי מן העץ ואוכל.
What do you want from me?
It's the woman,
it's You!
And here אדם doesn't accept responsibility.
Not only that,
he blames,
says רש"י,
כאן כפר בטובה.
Here he denied the good that Hashem gave him.
Meaning,
from Hashem's perspective,
it wasn't yet game over.
Hashem was still willing to say,
"You can do תשובה.
I believe in you.
Just say you're sorry."
But אדם was saying,
"No,
no,
no,
I can't.
This is who I am now.
It's not my fault.
It's her fault,
it's Your fault.
I'm okay!"
You're okay?
It happened again in the next generation.
ויאמר ה' אל קין,
אי הבל אחיך?
Where's your brother?
ויאמר לא ידעתי השומר אחי אנכי?
What do you want from me?
I'm supposed to be watching my brother?
So it's not about the fact that you sinned,
that's not the issue.
The sinning itself isn't the issue,
you can still do תשובה.
Just because a person sins doesn't mean he's out of the game,
he can still do תשובה,
you're not a רשע.
It's all about how you view the sin.
If you view the sin as something which is now there's a problem that
took place,
I have to deny this,
or I'm at fault,
this is who I am now,
and you don't just apologize and move on,
then that's the main issue.
"אי הבל אחיך," says רש"י,
להכנס עמו בדברי נחת,
אולי ישוב.
Maybe he'll do תשובה!
Hashem always gives the opportunity to do תשובה even afterwards.
And possibly the main source that I ever saw in this topic is the
ספורנו on קין והבל.
This is worth learning inside,
if you have the chance afterwards.
It's בראשית ד' ו'.
ואל קין ואל מנחתו לא שעה.
Hashem didn't turn to קין and his מנחה offering.
ויחר לקין מאד,
and קין was really upset about that.
ויפלו פניו,
he was depressed.
ויאמר ה' אל קין למה חרה לך,
why are you so upset?
למה נפלו פניך,
why are you depressed?
הלוא אם תיטיב,
if you improve your ways,
שאת,
you can raise up!
ואם לא תיטיב,
but if you don't improve your ways,
לפתח חטאת רובץ,
then sin is crouching at your door.
ואליך תשוקתו,
and he desires you.
ואתה תמשל בו,
but you can always control him!
What does רש"י- what does the ספורנו say on that line?
Listen to this very,
very well.
This is the key.
Just before I say it,
I'm just going to say what he's going to say is:
don't get stuck in the past,
don't get depressed about the fact that you sinned,
that's not the issue.
It doesn't matter how far you've fallen,
if you have the right perspective that I'm going to learn from this,
I'm going to grow from this,
and I'm going to move forward,
mission accomplished.
But if you give in to the real desire of the יצר הרע,
which is to get you depressed afterwards,
that's his real goal.
His goal isn't to get you to sin,
that's small change.
His main goal is to make you depressed afterwards,
because then he's got you,
he's got your identity,
you've moved over to his side.
Then you've lost,
and the יצר הרע's got you.
Now,
it's not true,
even then you can do תשובה,
but that's his goal.
So don't fall into that trap.
That's what the ספורנו says on this piece,
let's see it inside.
"למה נפלו פניך," Hashem says to him.
Okay,
you sinned,
but why are you depressed?
Why are you upset about that?
Am I supposed to be upset about the fact that I sinned?
No,
you're not!
Don't be upset!
כי כשיש לקלקול איזו תקנה,
this is not רבי נחמן of Breslov,
this is the ספורנו,
listen carefully,
cuz when the קלקול that you did has a way of fixing,
אין ראוי להצטער Don't be upset!
It's not helpful.
על מה שעבר,
why are you stuck in the past?
It's irrelevant!
ראוי להשתדל להשיג תיקון העתיד.
You hear the Sforno?
Let's read it again.
The Sforno is saying it doesn't make a difference what happened.
Don't get depressed,
don't get stuck in the past.
There's something you could do,
do it.
Move forward.
Let's read it again.
כי כשיש לקלקול איזו תקנה,
אין ראוי להצטער על מה שעבר.
When there's something you can do,
there's some way you can fix,
there's no reason to be stuck in the past.
אבל ראוי להשתדל להשיג תיקון לעתיד,
just get involved in fixing it and moving forward.
You know there's two types of psychology.
There's one type of psychology which the whole goal is going into the past.
And the big,
big goal is to like analyze where it came from and what the source
of it is,
and if possible you can blame your parents,
and that's the whole goal.
Now sometimes that's valuable,
because sometimes understanding where it came from initially,
then you can kind of reframe what happened,
then you can move forward.
But sometimes people just get stuck in the past.
They're only thinking about the past and who it was and where it came
from,
and that explains why I am today the way I am,
and therefore I'm okay how I am,
and that's the whole goal.
And that ruins people,
because then they just say,
"Okay,
I didn't know why I'm ruined,
but now I understand why I'm ruined.
זהו,
and I'm ruined."
But there's another way,
which is let's see what works for you.
Let's see how you can move forward.
Where are you productive?
What's going to help you?
And that way,
even if there was something in the past,
it heals it.
Because the person says,
"I'm not stuck there.
Yes,
I had tragedy.
Yes,
I have trauma,
but I'm involved in continuing to build,
and I'm moving forward."
I'm not saying what I just said in a blanket statement,
there are times where it is very helpful,
but as a mindset,
says the Sforno,
when it comes to sin,
a person who is only viewing the past,
and that's who I am,
that's what I did,
I'm a רשע,
there's no hope for me,
it's not going to help him move forward.
That's That's actually Hashem speaking there.
This is Hashem Hashem speaking to קין.
ויאמר ה׳
אל קין למה חרה לך ולמה נפלו פניך?
Hashem is saying,
why are you getting upset about it?
Why are you getting depressed?
It's not productive.
Hashem continues:
הלא אם תיטיב עצמך ותשתדל להיות גם אתה לרצון,
but if you just pick yourself up and move forward,
be productive,
do something valuable,
שאת,
you can rise up,
like the רמב״ם said in מורה נבוכים,
you can reach an even higher place,
רום המעלה,
תתנשא.
רובץ לפניך,
ואם לא תיטיב,
but if you don't,
if you're just stuck in the past,
if you're just depressed,
you just say,
"This is who I am,
what do you want from me?
I've done this sin now,
that determines me,
and now I have a new identity,
I'm ruined," החטאת מוכן לפניך כי תוסיף על חטאתך.
If you do that,
then the sin is going to remain with you,
and it's going to come back to you and to haunt you,
שכך הוא דרך היצר הרע.
But don't worry,
אתה תמשול בו.
Even though the יצר הרע from his side is always ready to pounce,
but I've given you an innate power,
says Hashem to קין.
And this is true for all mankind.
Hashem has made us stronger than him.
בידך להתקומם עליו בצלם אלקים.
אלמלא הקדוש ברוך הוא עזרו אינו יכול לו.
If it wasn't for Hashem helping us,
we wouldn't be able to,
but Hashem helps us,
He's on our side,
He's enabling us to overcome.
So,
if we just summarize that Sforno,
a person who sins can get depressed and have an identity now of a
רשע and say,
"I'm lost.
I'm out of the game."
It's not helpful.
It's not productive.
You're not going to move forward from that.
That's not עבודת ה׳.
Don't get confused.
That's not what Hashem wants from you.
Rather,
what can I do?
How can I be productive?
How can I move forward?
And the fact that I sinned is irrelevant.
I have to do תשובה for it,
I'm not ignoring the תשובה,
I will do תשובה,
but that's not the thing to focus on now.
I'm going to get depressed.
I just want to tell an amazing story,
a true story that happened.
There was a a meeting between the בעלזער רב and the גערער רב,
the אמרי אמת,
after the Holocaust.
They met together in ארץ ישראל.
And it was a big meeting,
because these were two people who their entire families and most of their communities
had been wiped out in the Holocaust,
and they both had escaped,
and they were beginning to rebuild,
starting life anew.
They both lost everything,
and they were meeting,
kindred souls meeting again.
And you could imagine like all the חסידים wanted to have like an ear
in the door and see like,
what are they going to say?
What are they going to say?
What are they going to speak about?
And it was a more of a private meeting,
but there were some people there.
And this is the interaction that happened.
They were quiet for a very long time,
and eventually the אמרי אמת,
he spoke up first,
and he said,
"You know,
there's a There's a רש״י when יוסף and בנימין met.
יוסף and בנימין met,
and they started crying.
And רש״י says a strange thing in the name of חז״ל,
he says that יוסף was crying about the בית המקדש,
which was" And בנימין was crying over the the destruction of שילה,
which was in the חלק of יוסף.
And they were both crying for the destruction of the other one's נחלה.
And the אמרי אמת asked,
"Why were they crying over the other one?
Why weren't they crying over themselves?
Why wasn't יוסף crying over the destruction of שילה?
And why wasn't בנימין crying over the destruction of the בית המקדש?
Why weren't they crying over their own pain?"
And it was quiet for a little bit,
and then the אמרי אמת says,
"Because for your own חורבן,
you don't cry.
You just build.
When you have a חורבן,
or when you make a חורבן,
you don't cry.
You just build.
Don't get stuck in the past.
Don't get upset about what was destroyed.
You just build.
You continue building.
When you see your friend is hurting,
you can cry for him.
You can דאווען for him.
You can wish that it should be better.
But for yourself,
don't get stuck.
Don't get depressed.
Just build."
That's what the פסוק says,
"אל תשמחי אויבתי לי כי נפלתי קמתי כי אשב בחשך ה׳
אור לי."
And the דיוק that the rabbis make,
there's a famous letter of רב הוטנר about a צדיק falls seven times,
and he brings this פסוק also,
that some people think that what it means is,
"כי נפלתי קמתי," even though I fell,
I'll get up.
A צדיק falls seven times,
and even though he falls seven times,
he still gets up.
But the way רב הוטנר reads it is not that it's a בדיעבד,
it's a לכתחילה.
It's "כי נפלתי קמתי"—because I fell,
that's why I was able to reach such a great level.
A צדיק falls seven times and gets up.
It's not despite the fact that a צדיק falls seven times he still gets
up,
it's because he fell seven times.
He was,
like we said,
the greater they fall,
the greater they rise.
Because he fell,
he was able to reach a greater height.
So,
in an ironic way,
the יצר הרע tells you,
"You fell.
That's your new identity."
And you say back to that יצר הרע,
"Because I fell,
that shows me I can reach greater heights."
משל למה הדבר דומה,
if you're standing and watching a building site,
and you see they're digging deeper,
and digging deeper,
and digging deeper,
then you know those foundations are so deep,
what do you know is going to happen?
You know there's going to be a high-rise building,
it's going to be a skyscraper,
because they didn't need to build so deep if it was just going to
be one story,
one floor.
They're digging so deep,
it means they're going to build something very,
very great.
"כי נפלתי קמתי."
When a person reaches,
he has כח like that,
he has כח in the negative,
okay,
but that same כח that was used for the negative,
that can also be used for the positive.
So,
in an ironic way,
you can turn back to the יצר הרע and you can say,
"It's not because I sinned that means I'm out of the game,
it's because I sinned that means I have more כח.
Yes,
right now it was used in the negative,
but that same כח can be used for the positive,
and I can reach even greater heights than I ever was first time round."
רבינו יונה on פרקי אבות:
"הקדוש ברוך הוא אינו דן את האדם לפי מעשיו לבד אך בטובו ובמידת החסד."
Hashem doesn't judge us just by who we are.
He's kind to us.
Listen to this unbelievable piece.
It says in תהילים כ״ה,
"חטאות נעורי ופשעי אל תזכור."
What's the difference between a חטאות נעורי and פשעי?
He's bothered,
רבינו יונה is bothered by the fact that it should have said,
"חטאות ופשעי נעורי," because the חטאת means a sin which is a by-mistake sin,
and a פשע means a sin which is an intentional sin.
But why are you sticking my youth in the middle of that פסוק?
It's strange.
It should put the two types of sins together and then put youth.
Or put youth at the beginning and then two types of sins.
But why does it say,
"חטאות נעורי ופשעי"?
What,
he didn't do any intentional sins when he was a kid?
It's only by-mistake sins he did when he was a kid?
Listen to רבינו יונה's answer to this question:
"חטאת בין שוגג בין זדון שאדם עושה בנעורתו."
You hear that?
A person who sins when he's young,
whether it's שוגג or even if it's מזיד,
it's called a חטא,
meaning it's only called an unintentional sin.
That means that someone who's a teenager,
who's a נער,
someone who's a teenager,
who's a נער,
even if he does something intentionally,
דוד המלך still calls it an unintentional sin.
Why?
"בעוד יצרו תוקפו," because at that age the יצר הרע is especially strong,
"ודעת נקלה," and his דעת isn't yet developed yet.
So,
a teenager is a really hard age to be.
You've got two things against you working both ways,
says רבינו יונה.
On the one hand,
the hormones are working overtime,
the desire is very,
very strong.
That's on the one hand,
it's out of control.
On the other hand,
the mind isn't yet fully developed for a person to have maturity to understand
how to control themselves.
So you've got two things working against you:
increased hormones and not yet developed mind,
not maturity.
So what if you did something intentionally as a teenager?
So it's unintentional.
It's considered unintentional.
That's why the פסוק says,
חטאות נעורי ופשעי.
Whatever I did as a נער is unintentional.
So you might say,
"Yes,
yes,
yes,
yes,
that's until בר מצוה!
But I'm over בר מצוה."
No,
no.
בר מצוה,
נער is under בר מצוה,
I'm over בר מצוה?
רד"ק on that פרק in תהלים,
כ"ה פסוק ז',
פירוש,
he says the same as רבנו יונה,
and then he says,
בימי נעורים יקראו חטאות.
Whatever you do as a נער is called a חטא,
שלא שלמה דעת האדם ואין שם פשע.
He's not He doesn't have a developed mind,
he's not yet mature fully,
and therefore it's not considered intentional.
אך שיהיה אדם מזיד בבואו בימים,
it's only considered that a person does things intentionally when he reaches of age
עשרים שנה ומעלה.
There we go,
עשרים שנה,
says רד"ק.
Now,
please,
please,
please don't take this the wrong way.
Please don't say,
"I'm not yet 20!
I'm good to go!
Anything I do is considered uninten-" No,
don't take it that way.
But take it in the right way.
Take it in the way of,
doesn't matter what I've done,
and even if I've done it intentionally,
even if I did it דוקא,
despite Hashem,
it doesn't make a difference.
I'm in a stage of my life where what I did in the eyes
of Hashem is considered unintentional.
מעשה שהיה.
There was a שבתון in ירושלים two days ago.
I was driving out on מוצאי שבת from פורת יוסף.
I drove 10 meters,
and I was stopped by the police.
Just there!
I didn't even make it to like where the bus goes,
just outside פורת יוסף,
10 meters!
He stops me,
takes out his his laptop,
his iPad,
whatever,
and he types in my my my number of my reg-,
my car.
He says,
לצד בבקשה,
אדוני.
Go to the side.
Like,
what did I do?
Said okay,
I go to the side.
"Where's your license?"
Give him my license.
"Where's your ID?"
Give him my ID.
And he's like typing,
and he walks away,
comes back,
like,
what did I do?
My kids:
אבא,
מה עשית?
מה עשית?
I don't know,
I have no idea.
So he says to me,
אדוני,
למה אתה נוהג עם אוטו בלי רישיון?
So I said to him,
"I have a test on my car.
I did the test three months,
four months ago."
He said,
לא,
לא עשית.
לא רשום.
I said,
"I did it!
I can show it to you!"
He says,
אז תראה לי.
So I'm looking on my phone,
I found my insurance,
I didn't find that I did the test.
I said,
אני אומר לך,
עשיתי!
עשיתי את זה אפילו שבוע לפני ה- I did it a week earlier I
did it!
I went in especially,
I figured this,
like,
I'm telling you I did it."
He says,
"Okay,
I'll write down your claim is 'I did the test.'" And he wrote the
whole long דוח.
Took him about half an hour to write it.
And he says that the weather was clear,
he made eye contact,
like a whole spiel he writes,
and he gave me six points,
and he gave me a fine.
And he says,
"Claim of the plaintiff:
'I did the test.'" And I drove off.
I go first thing on Sunday morning to the מוסך,
to the garage.
And I said- in the meantime,
I got the form that I did it.
I found the form that I did,
I had.
So I go into the garage and said like,
"Here's my paperwork that I did the test,
and here's the דוח.
How do you explain this?
Like,
what happened?
Is it your fault that you didn't register it in the computer,
and that's why he doesn't know about it?"
And he's looking,
"Doesn't make sense,
doesn't make sense,
doesn't make sense,
doesn't make sense."
And then he looks,
"Ah,
one second,
did you go back after you finished the whole test to like register that
you finished?"
I said,
"Yes."
He said,
"Well,
it didn't register."
So I said,
"Well,
that's not my fault."
He said,
"It's not your fault,
but it doesn't matter,
like it didn't register,
so you're not you're not you didn't pass."
I said,
"So okay,
so put it in now."
Said,
"I can't,
it's over a month.
You have a month to register,
and if you didn't register within a month,
then it wipes out everything,
all the information,
you have to do a new test."
I said,
"Do a new test?"
"Yeah,
go back in line from the beginning."
There was like 30 cars,
no that's exaggeration,
there was about 15 cars like on line to do the test,
and I had to go all the way to the outside again and start
So I do the whole thing again,
pass the test,
ברוך השם,
come back to him,
he says,
"תשמע,
it's not your fault,
I'm not going to charge you for the new test."
Said,
"Thank you very much,
but still what am I going to do with the fine and with the
points on my..."
left.
So he says to me,
"Okay,
let's talk it through."
And he starts like dictating to me like how to write to the police
my claim in order that they'll erase the points and erase the fine.
And basically,
the point was,
I did everything correctly,
I'm innocent,
as far as I know I did everything,
as far as I knew,
it's true that it wasn't registered,
but I wasn't aware of that at the time,
so I'm pleading חנינה,
I'm pleading,
like,
have mercy on me,
like,
recognize my sorrow state that it wasn't registered and thing,
and please cancel it.
So,
came back,
typed all the information in,
sent all the paperwork,
and I don't know,
I'll hear from them.
I hope I'll hear from them.
Otherwise,
I'm going to have to pay the fine,
I'm going to have points on my ticket.
You're standing before הקדוש ברוך הוא and you're saying,
הקדוש ברוך הוא,
like this is scary.
My kid had a nightmare that night from the policeman.
He was really scared.
He had like a big like black thing over his face.
למה היה לו כזה?
He said,
because he was cold.
לא אבל הוא,
הוא איש רע!
Like he was really scared.
It was quite scary,
you know,
being pulled over.
A guy with a black mask is telling you,
taking your paperwork,
למה לא עשית?
It was a pretty scary incident.
I'm still like in a bit of trauma myself,
but I'm not getting stuck in it.
I still davened שחרית the following morning.
I still woke up in the morning.
I still continued to learn Torah.
I didn't get bogged down by it,
and I said,
הקדוש ברוך הוא,
like what do You want from me?
I was at a stage in my life where I was young,
I was innocent.
I went into the test,
I thought that I did everything correctly.
It turned out that I didn't.
As far as I'm aware,
I'm good.
Okay,
it says there I'm not good,
but it doesn't make a difference.
Even if it says that I'm not good,
and if I'm being labeled as a רשע,
it's irrelevant.
I'm not a רשע.
I know I'm not a רשע.
I know that I didn't do anything wrong.
I know that what it says that I did wrong is not to be
identified with me.
I'm not associating this evil with myself,
because I know I didn't do anything wrong.
So I'm not a bad person.
I know I'm not a bad person.
I'm going to plead my case.
Hashem,
I'm innocent!
I'm innocent,
I didn't do anything wrong!
And I still view myself as a law-abiding citizen.
I'm still in the game.
I'm not allowing this to redefine me as a רשע.
I'm continuing in good,
and I have a license.
I did a new license.
I showed it to them.
I sent it in to them.
I'm still in the game.
Someone who was out of the game,
though,
was אחר.
He was really out of the game.
יצאה בת קול ואמרה,
שובו בנים שובבים,
חוץ מאחר.
Everyone can do תשובה,
everyone,
everyone,
everyone.
There is no one who can't do תשובה.
The Rambam said it earlier:
It doesn't matter how far you went,
you can always do תשובה,
except for אחר.
There is someone who went too far.
There is someone who went too far.
Says—this is the גמרא in חגיגה דף טו,
says the חידושי אגדות,
the Maharsha at the back.
Listen to this unbelievable פירוש.
Why did a בת קול come out to אחר?
Why?
What's the point?
If he's out of the game,
he's out of the game.
If it's too long and he's gone too far,
then it's irrelevant.
Why did a בת קול come out of שמים?
So first the Maharsha just gives a little more background to the story.
That the same story appears in ירושלמי,
and it says there a little more.
It says,
הייתי עובר לפני בית קדשי הקדשים,
I was riding outside or in front of the קדש הקדשים,
על סוס,
on a horse,
ביום הכיפורים שחל להיות בשבת,
קדושה שבקדושה,
Yom Kippur and Shabbat and מקום המקדש,
ושמעתי בת קול יוצאת.
And this is אחר,
he himself,
sinning on Yom Kippur and on Shabbat.
And he hears the בת קול that comes out of the קדש הקדשים and
says,
שובו בנים חוץ מאחר.
Why did he hear that?
Why did Hashem allow him to hear that?
What,
did Hashem want to slap him in the face and say,
you've gone too far,
for you it's too much?
Says the Maharsha,
no.
Hashem was teasing him.
At the stage you're in now,
the way you're behaving,
it looks like you can't do תשובה.
But I'm hinting to you,
אחר,
I'm hinting to you.
Everyone can do תשובה,
it's Yom Kippur today!
Everyone can do תשובה,
except for you?
Do you hear what I'm saying?
A בת קול's's coming out,
calling you!
לא היה לו להשגיח בכך.
He wasn't supposed to listen to that voice.
He was supposed to recognize that it's a hint towards him:
No,
I want to come back!
It was the same איכה that Hashem said to אדם.
It was the same where's your brother that Hashem said to קין.
It was calling out and saying,
where are you?
Right now you're not doing תשובה,
what's going on?
In a way,
we're like אחר.
There's an inner voice within us sometimes that calls out from within our קדש
הקדשים,
our נשמה.
And it calls out and it says,
you can't do תשובה.
You can't do תשובה.
After what you did last night?
After what you saw?
After what you thought?
After what you said?
You can't do תשובה.
Everyone else around you can do תשובה,
but you can't do תשובה.
That אחר within us,
that קול,
a בת קול coming out of our קדש הקדשים saying to us that we're
אחר,
it's too late for us.
But actually,
it's the voice of Hashem,
and it's saying to us,
I'm calling you to come back.
I still believe in you.
I still want you to return.
I still recognize that Hashem believes in me and is calling me.
And in that same ironic way,
the trick of the יצר הרע when he calls you and insists to you,
you're too far gone,
you can't do תשובה,
we're the Jewish people.
We know that's actually הקדוש ברוך הוא calling us.
And we interpret it as השם saying,
"I still believe in you.
I still believe in you.
You can still come back."
Now I want to tell you how I helped my son get over his
fear.
So it was late at night on מוצאי שבת,
and he's panicking from the image of this policeman with the mask over his
face.
And every time I tried to distract him,
he said,
"אבא,
אבל כל רגע שאני חושב על זה,
אני רואה את הפנים שלו ו..."
and he got scared.
So what are you supposed to do?
I try and distract him,
but it's not helping because the image of the policeman comes in again and
again.
So distracting is not working.
So you're trying not to think about this negative thing,
and you're trying to think of something else,
but then,
boom,
pops back in your mind again.
So you try and say,
"Okay,
I'll think about something else.
Think about your sister's birthday party next week."
"Okay,
I'm thinking of...
the image comes back again!"
And he's scared again.
So I did something which I'm very,
very proud of,
to the point of being arrogant,
but I'm trying to hold back on that.
But I'm really excited about it,
and it worked really well.
I said to him,
"אתה יודע איך נראית משאבה לאופניים?
You know how a bicycle pump works?"
He said,
"כן."
Said,
"What do you do?"
He said,
"You take the pin and you put it inside the wheel and you push,
push,
push,
push.
And then the wheel goes bigger and bigger and bigger."
He said,
"נכון."
Said,
"And what happens if you keep putting in more and more and more and
more and more?
What would happen?"
"It would get bigger and bigger and bigger!"
"And what happens if you do more and more and more?"
He said,
"It will explode!"
Said,
"Okay.
אתה רואה את השוטר?"
He said,
"כן."
"Okay,
put the bicycle needle inside his stomach.
Okay,
now start pumping."
He said,
"Okay."
Said,
"מה קורה?"
"הוא נהיה יותר שמן.
He's getting fatter."
Said,
"Good,
do more,
do more!"
Said,
"Okay."
And he starts laughing.
"Okay," I said,
"תוסיף,
תוסיף,
עוד עוד עוד עוד אוויר,
עוד אוויר,
עוד אוויר!
More air,
more air,
more air!"
And he gets bigger and bigger.
Said,
"איך,
איך הוא עכשיו?"
"עכשיו הוא כמו כדור!"
Said,
"Good,
good,
keep going,
keep going!"
And he's pushing and pushing and pushing.
"ואיך הוא נראה עכשיו?"
He said,
"עכשיו הוא נראה מצחיק,
הוא נראה כמו פיל!"
I said,
"Good,
good,
keep going,
keep going!"
And he puts in more air and more air.
I said,
"מה קורה עכשיו?"
Said,
"הוא יתפוצץ!"
And he burst out laughing.
And he burst out laughing.
And I started laughing.
I authentically was laughing,
seeing how he was laughing,
and we were just,
we couldn't stop.
It was awkward because I was also in the middle of benching at that
point.
I mean,
it started before benching,
but then he carried on laughing during benching,
and I started benching,
and that wasn't so healthy,
like religiously,
but he's laughing and laughing,
and I'm laughing and he's laughing,
I'm laughing at him.
And then he just started saying,
"אבא,
כל זמן שאני חושב על השוטר,
אני מתפוצץ מצחוק!
Every time I think of it,
I'm exploding from laughter!"
I was like,
"Wow,
look at that."
There was an image which was a negative image.
You try and distract and use a positive image,
but it's not helping because the negative image keeps coming back.
So you need to turn that negative image into something that's going to help
you.
Right now he's getting scared.
I want to turn that same negative image into something which is going to
bring joy,
bring excitement,
bring laughter.
So how do you do that?
So we did it through the bicycle pump,
right?
And this policeman is now in our family like the biggest,
funniest joke in the world ever!
Every time we see someone with a mask from now on,
it's going to come over to my house tomorrow night.
Every time someone wears a mask tomorrow night,
then suddenly everyone's going to burst out laughing.
This guy's going to get larger and larger and explode.
It's the funniest thing.
And ברוך השם,
he went to sleep calmly,
with no issues,
totally calm.
It was unbelievable.
So if a voice comes to you,
and it sounds like it's the voice of the יצר הרע,
dressed up as a policeman,
and it's saying to you,
"You're gone.
You're a loser.
You've gone so far.
You're a רשע.
You can't do anything."
So that that very voice itself,
that's the policeman which you can then explode.
You can turn into the voice of השם.
You can make that same voice the voice which is going to help you.
The same image right now which is coming as your enemy,
you don't need to run away from it.
You don't need to say,
"I'll think of something else."
The voice of,
"Be depressed.
Give up hope.
It's too far gone.
You're a loser."
That same voice you can say,
"That's השם saying,
'I still believe in you!
You can still do it!
I'm still calling!'" That's what the גמרא חגיגה implies.
When השם gave a בת קול to אחר and said,
"שובו בנים שובבים חוץ מאחר," it was him hearing a בת קול.
It was a בת קול.
Why was he hearing a בת קול?
He was obviously on a very high level.
It was השם saying to him,
"I still believe in you."
Take that very voice and turn it into the כח to move forward.
Like the ספורנו said,
"Don't be depressed.
Don't let it get you down.
Why is that going to be helpful?
That's not going to help you anything,
but rather,
something to do.
You can move forward."
The very voice which is saying to you,
"You are a loser,
you're gone,
you can't do anything anymore," that voice is what's going to give you the
encouragement and the power to move forward.
Don't distract.
Use that voice to be your coach,
to be your motivating factor,
and then you'll be able to move forward.
פסוק says,
the name of ישראל.
What is the name of ישראל?
Where does it come from?
Why are we called ישראל,
where's that name come from?
ויאמר לא יעקב יאמר עוד שמך כי אם ישראל.
From now on your name is going to be ישראל.
Why?
Why is your name ישראל?
כי שרית עם אלקים ועם אנשים ותוכל,
because you fought with angels and man and you were successful.
The חידושי הרי"ם asks a phenomenal question.
He says,
what was the main point of that פסוק?
The fact that we fought or the fact that we were successful?
Isn't the real success that we were successful?
Isn't that the point?
Like,
the fact that we fought,
that's not so important.
That's like secondary.
That's unfortunate,
actually.
הלוואי we wouldn't have needed to do that.
But the fact that we won and that we were successful,
yeah,
that,
that's the main.
We call it a victory only when you're victorious.
You don't call it a victory when you're still in the middle of the
battle.
So our name really shouldn't be ישראל,
because ישראל is the name of the fighting.
Our name should be ותוכל,
עם תוכל.
Doesn't sound,
has a nice ring to it,
no?
מדינת תוכל.
Let's call it that,
no?
You want God's name,
okay:
מדינת תוכל אל.
Wow,
that's the new name of our state.
We can have an Israeli flag and we'll call it מדינת תוכל אל.
That's our new name.
Wouldn't that make more sense?
We were successful,
we were victorious,
that's our name.
But says the חידושי הרי"ם that our essence and our coming close to הקדוש
ברוך הוא,
our purpose,
our national mission,
have a chair,
is not about the fact that we're victorious.
That's not the point.
That's a healthy outcome.
That's not the goal.
The goal is the struggle.
The goal is the ושרית.
The goal is that we're in the game.
It doesn't matter that we fell,
we're in the game!
We're remaining in the game even if we fall.
That's our name.
So we weren't called ותוכל,
because that would imply that you're only worth anything if you were successful.
And then anyone who ever sinned would say,
"Okay,
I'm not worthy of being called ותוכל,
so I'm not part of the Jewish nation.
I'm out of the game."
That would be actually a terrible name for the Jewish people.
You sinned once,
you're out of the game.
Sorry,
you're not part of the Jewish nation anymore.
So says the חידושי הרי"ם that our name was דווקא ישראל,
כי שרית,
you're still in the game.
We'll conclude with one last story about a different child of mine.
My son חנניה,
who's now the age of שנה ג',
when he was in,
I think כיתה י"ב,
then he he was drafted to the army,
meaning it wasn't draft,
meaning he was called up to do the testing.
And when they like saw him and they got they were trying to identify
like what he was worthy for or fitting for,
they said,
"Maybe you could go to the Air Force."
So they sent him for a day to do a trial to see if
he should go to the Air Force.
That was pretty exciting.
Bit of כבוד there.
My son is going to the Air Force.
And for him too it was like cool,
you know,
going to go for the Air Force.
So he had friends who were also had been recruited to go to the
Air Force,
and there was this computer game that you have to play to train yourself,
like you do the joystick left and it goes right,
and right and it goes left,
and you have to like figure out how this whole thing works.
And his friends who were really serious about it,
they'd been practicing this for months so that when they would get to this
day,
this big day,
then they could get to the Air Force and they could pass this test
and do well.
My son,
he wasn't really thinking of going to the Air Force,
he wanted to go to like a regular unit,
so he hadn't thought about it before,
he hadn't practiced.
He said,
"I'll go for the day anyway,
you know.
What can I lose?
Maybe I'll pass,
who knows?"
So he gets there,
gives in his ID.
They say,
"Okay,
hand in your ID,
now go to this other room over here."
And there's this simulator where you go into this big kind of pretend airplane.
And so he sits there and he's sitting by the whole machine,
trying to figure out what's going on,
as they say in Hebrew,
מי נגד מי,
like,
how does the whole thing works.
And they say,
"Okay,
we're going to do a few trials just so you can understand like what
buttons to press and how it works,
and then after we finish the trials then we're going to do the actual
test."
He says,
"Okay."
So he's sitting there by himself.
It's like a computer game,
you're the airplane and there's other airplanes you see on the screen in front
of you,
and you have to like keep in line with other planes.
So you see other planes going ahead,
and they go to the left so you have to go to the left,
and they go to the right,
you have to go to the right,
you have to like keep in line with them.
They go up,
you have to go up.
That's what the game is.
So he gets there and it's like it's fun,
you know,
playing computer game.
He didn't grow up with computer games at home,
so it's like really exciting,
get to play on a computer game.
So he gets there and he's doing it,
and he he's still like figuring it out,
left,
right,
right,
left,
he's still trying to figure out how the whole thing works.
And then suddenly,
he hears them saying,
"נכשלת,
restart."
And then he realizes that they finished the trial and it started the actual
thing,
and he didn't even realize that was happening.
And he like wasn't ready.
He hadn't yet fully finished figuring out how this whole thing works.
So he's like trying to play,
and the joystick was like awkward,
like left is right and right is left,
so it's like it's against your natural reflex,
like it's not what you're used to,
and like back goes up and down goes forward,
and it's very complicated.
Well,
at least for him it was,
in the first time he's ever doing it.
And נכשלת,
נכשלת,
נכשלת,
נכשלת.
Failed,
failed,
failed,
and it kept failing and restarting,
and the planes were going this way and he was going this way,
and it kept happening again and again,
and he just failed,
failed,
failed,
failed,
failed the whole way through.
And they said,
"Okay,
game over,
you finished.
Go back to the clerk at the front to get back your ID."
So he says,
"Okay."
He's like coming out there,
למה נפלו פניך,
and he goes to get his ID,
and so so he says,
"Okay,
I'm going home."
She's like,
"Just no,
wait one second,
let me check."
And she looks and says,
"Yeah,
you passed the first round."
And he says,
"No,
there's no way I passed the first round."
She says,
"No,
no,
you passed the first round."
He says,
"No,
there's no way.
I did everything wrong.
Like everything possibly wrong what to do,
I did."
She said,
"Yeah,
no,
but it says you passed the first round."
He said,
"How could that be?"
So she said to him,
to him,
"Do you think we were testing your navigation skills?
You haven't learned yet how to be a pilot.
You can't know that.
We were testing your stamina.
We were testing how long you'd stay in the game and continue trying,
even after failing and failing and failing and failing.
That's what this test was.
And you continued trying and continued trying and continued trying and continued trying.
See,
and you persevered,
so you passed the test and you got to the second round."
He failed on the second round,
but but the first round he passed.
When he came home and he told me that,
I was so excited.
I kissed him on the forehead.
I said to him,
"יותר חשוב,
more important than whether you get to the Air Force or didn't get to
the Air Force,
הקדוש ברוך הוא has given you a lesson in עבודת השם for life.
It's not about whether you pass or fail.
It's about whether you persevere.
It's about holding on to the stamina.
הקדוש ברוך הוא is not looking at you if you're a pure צדיק your
whole life.
That's not the goal.
Hashem is looking what you do after the sin.
The יצר הרע isn't looking to see if you're going to do the sin.
He's looking how you're going to view it after the sin.
If after the sin you say,
'I'm a loser,
I failed,
I'm depressed,
I'm giving up,
יאוש,' then the יצר הרע says,
'He's one of mine.'
But if you say,
'I'm Jewish,
I have stamina,
I'm going to persevere,
I'm going to keep going.
The real battle is about my identity.
And I know my identity is a צדיק.
No matter how far I fall,
no matter how much הקדוש ברוך הוא calls me a a רשע that I
can't do תשובה,
I know I'm still in the game.
I know Hashem still believes in me.
הסר שטן מאחרינו,
there's no שטן after me.
No matter how far I fell,
I know I'm always in the game.
I'm always going to be successful.
My name is not to fail,
my name is ישראל.'" That message is the crucial message for the day after.
The רשע will say to you,
"אתה רשע," and you say,
"אמר רבי שמעון,
אל תהי רשע בפני עצמך."
And the יצר הרע says,
"Oh you're right,
I forgot that משנה."
And you continue building.
למה נפלו פניך?
You're right.
למה נפלו פניך,
I'm going to continue to build.
If you have that perspective,
not only will a fall not get you down,
but a fall be the impetus to keep moving,
keep growing.
Always remember the exploding policeman.
No matter how far you've gone and how scary it is,
you take that very voice,
and you transform that into being a call from Hashem.
You say I'm a רשע,
I'm taking my next step forward.
I know I'm going to become better.
שכוח.