Journey to the Sunnyside

Last night, I found myself in a moment that felt familiar. Stress had been building, a disagreement pushed me further, and that quiet thought of a drink started turning into something I knew wouldn’t lead anywhere good. In this episode, I share what was happening in my mind, what helped me stop, and how one simple visualization changed the course of the night. I also break down the deeper lesson in all of it. Sometimes cravings are not really about alcohol. They are about pressure, relief, and wanting out of the feeling we are in. This episode is a reminder that those moments still happen, even when you’ve made real progress, and that what matters most is how you respond.

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Disclaimer: This podcast is not intended as medical advice, and the views of the guests may not represent the views of Sunnyside. If you’re concerned about your health or alcohol use, please consider seeking advice from a doctor.

Creators and Guests

Host
Mike Hardenbrook
#1 best-selling author of "No Willpower Required," neuroscience enthusiast, and habit change expert.

What is Journey to the Sunnyside?

Journey to the Sunnyside is a top 1% podcast, reaching over 500,000 listeners every week. It’s your guide to exploring mindful living with alcohol—whether you're cutting back, moderating, or thinking about quitting.

While Sunnyside helps you reduce your drinking, this podcast goes further, diving into topics like mindful drinking, sober curiosity, moderation, and full sobriety. Through real stories, expert insights, and science-backed strategies, we help you find what actually works for your journey.

Hosted by Mike Hardenbrook, a #1 best-selling author and neuroscience enthusiast, the show is dedicated to helping people transform their relationship with alcohol—without shame, judgment, or rigid rules.

This podcast is brought to you by Sunnyside, the leading platform for mindful drinking. Want to take the next step in your journey? Head over to sunnyside.co for a free 15-day trial.

Disclaimer: The views expressed in our episodes do not necessarily represent those of Sunnyside. We’re committed to sharing diverse perspectives on health and wellness. If you’re concerned about your drinking, please consult a medical professional. Sunnyside, this podcast, and its guests are not necessarily medical providers and the content is not medical advice. We do not endorse drinking in any amount.

Speaker 1:

Hey everybody. Welcome back to Journey to the Sunnyside. Today, I want to talk about something that happened to me just last night. The past couple months, they've been a lot for me. We had a family move recently, which was amazing, but it's also stressful.

Speaker 1:

My mother, she was recently diagnosed with Alzheimer's and we're in the process of figuring out care and how to get her closer to where we are. And we've also had some challenges with my son, including some hormone related things that also affect behavior. And then, of course, they're just normal life. They don't really sound huge on their own, but together they all add up. And sometimes cravings don't come because life is falling apart.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes they come because our brain starts looking for relief. And that's exactly what happened to me last night. I started having this thought, a drink would be nice right now. I really want slow things down, kick my feet up. And even while I was having that thought, I knew deep down that really isn't a solution.

Speaker 1:

But then, as luck would have it, my wife and I ended up having a disagreement, and that kind of changed the whole tone. It went from, you know, a drink that would really take the edge off right now, and now it's starting to feel like, screw it. And for me, that's the line to draw. Because at that point, it's not really about enjoying anything. It's more about wanting out of this feeling that I'm in.

Speaker 1:

And I think a lot of cravings are like that. They're not really about pleasure. They're also around pressure. When stress builds up, the brain starts reaching for what feels immediate. And so I started picturing two different versions of tomorrow.

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One was the path I've taken many times before. I already know how it plays out. I could drink. I could get some temporary relief. I could kind of soften that edge for a bit, but I already knew I was in an aggravated state.

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And I remember thinking right there, this is not going to bring me back. And if anything, this has a very good chance of taking a hard moment and making it worse. So I closed my eyes and pictured tomorrow. First, I pictured waking up later than I wanted to, that off feeling anxiety, the regret, feeling bad about myself that I knew would kind of, as a cloud, follow me around all day. And then I pictured something else.

Speaker 1:

I pictured myself waking up in my kitchen with the sun coming up through the window, the early morning light, the pink sky, sitting there with my espresso maker, which I love espresso, feeling clear, feeling like a reset, feeling proud of myself that I didn't go down that path. And this is just, you know, a matter of fifteen seconds. It doesn't take very long. And honestly, that was the thing. I gave my mind something else to look at.

Speaker 1:

I wasn't just saying, no. I'm resisting. I'm not gonna drink. I was reminding myself what I actually wanted. And once I could see that morning in my visualization, I started to come back.

Speaker 1:

And then shortly after that, my son, unfortunately, he wasn't feeling well. His stomach was hurting. And so I needed to run to the store for him. And when I got there, I got what he needed. And while I was there, I instead, I decided I'm gonna grab one of my favorite sparkling waters, Topo Chico.

Speaker 1:

And by that point, to be honest, though, that craving had already passed. It was gone. I just grabbed that because I wanted it. And that's another thing I think that's important to state here. Sometimes that urge feels so strong that we feel like we have to do something with it.

Speaker 1:

But a lot of times, if you don't act right away, it just passes. It goes up. It goes down. And then it moves on. So I got home, and instead of the night going the way it could have gone, it went in a totally different direction.

Speaker 1:

I put on a TV show with my little boy. We watched a show that we both like that's light in the evening that always makes us laugh. It's called Impractical Jokers, which is just kind of those dumb, funny shows that actually make you laugh out loud. And that's what we did. We laughed together.

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Then I took him to bed. I said his prayers, and then I went to bed. And this morning, I woke up in the exact kind of morning that I pictured. The sun was rising. The sky was pink.

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I had this optimistic, you know, whatever comes my way feeling for the day. And a little bit of that self respect that comes when nobody else knows the battle that you had, but you know. And I wanna say this too because this is really important. If some version of this happens to you, of course, it's going to be your own version, don't let it end with, well, I got through it. Take it a step further.

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Review it. Think about what worked, and then lock it in to your mind. Because that's what I did this morning. I journaled about it. I thought through what actually brought me back.

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And for me, it was the visualization. It was stepping outside of the moment and seeing both futures very clearly. And I also let myself feel proud. And to be honest, I even looked in the mirror and I said, I'm proud of you. I know that can sound a little bit hokey.

Speaker 1:

And to be honest, in that moment, it did feel hokey. It doesn't come naturally to me. But there's something real in that. When we reinforce a win, we help to teach our brain a different pattern. Not just urge, relief, regret, but urge, pause, choice, and then pride.

Speaker 1:

And honestly, even talking about it here with you is part of what I'm doing to lock this in for me. So if you find yourself in a moment like that, I just want to offer you this. Pause and visualize before you act. Picture both futures. Picture what happens if you follow the urge.

Speaker 1:

Then picture what happens the morning that you actually want or the whole day. Because we already know we don't need more willpower because that's just not ever going to be enough. Sometimes we need to get out of the very small frame our mind is stuck in and remember what we actually want on the other side of the moment. And if visualization doesn't maybe work right away or it's not a practice that you necessarily connect to once you've tried it, that's okay. We got lots of backups.

Speaker 1:

There's pause and breath. Breath is super powerful. Urge surfing is proven to work. You can go for a walk. You can just get up and change rooms, change the setting.

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Give somebody a call. You can get up and go for a drive, listen to some music, or just go get some sparkling water or buy yourself a little bit more time however you want to pass the time. Maybe you have a closet that you need to clean out. Because these moments happen to everybody at all stages. Cravings happen.

Speaker 1:

Old patterns are still going to try and pull us in sometimes. And that doesn't mean that I'm back at the beginning. That doesn't mean that you're back at the beginning. It just means you're in a moment where awareness becomes really important. And I think the difference over time is not the thoughts that never come in, because they will.

Speaker 1:

It's that we get better at recognizing them, we get better at not following them, and better at coming back to ourselves faster. So just to summarize what happened to me last night, the craving really wasn't about the alcohol, it was about the stress and the wanting relief. I noticed that shift into the screw it zone, and for me, that's always important to catch. I stopped focusing on what I wanted right then and pictured tomorrow instead. I gave the urge some time instead of acting like I had to answer it right away.

Speaker 1:

And finally, I reinforced the win this morning so that the moment became something that I could learn from, not just something I got through. And that was the real work. Not being perfect, of course, because none of us are. It was just about being aware enough to choose differently when it counted. Alright.

Speaker 1:

Thanks for hanging out with me today. If you got anything out of this episode, it would mean the world to me to rate and review wherever you're listening. Of course, I love to hear from you. Send me an email, anything. And I mean anything.

Speaker 1:

Send it over. Mike@Sunnyside.co. Would love to hear from you. And until next time, cheers to your mindful drinking journey.