The Long Halloween

Kevin and Harley cavort through the calendar and Passion or Ration all of the holidays. Plus: Harley’s selling her clothes!

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What is Beardless, D*ckless Me?

For 25 years, Kevin Smith has tried to make his beardless, dickless twin of a daughter Harley laugh in real life. Now he does it every week on a podcast.

00:00:23
Speaker 1: Welcome to beardless dick less me.

00:00:25
Speaker 2: I'm Kevin Smith and Harley Quinn Smith.

00:00:27
Speaker 1: All right, so holidays, we're coming up on a major one, uh in your world, like you're a big Halloween e We're like, I fuck, I love it, dude, this is Halloween. Jack Skellington's my god.

00:00:46
Speaker 2: I do think I said that recently.

00:00:49
Speaker 1: So I'm very familiar with uh, Halloween, and we'll work up to it and stuff. Trying to build my mic out a little bit.

00:00:56
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's going on.

00:00:57
Speaker 1: I'm always fondome with it because about people fucking and tell me it's not close to your face enough. One day I'll get them. I don't want to say anything about the mic because then will Will Wilkins is always like he listens and then he's just like, I've done bad. You've not done bad, Will, No, I'm just fucking just just fucking unsatisfied with the mic. Meant so, I'm kind of setting it up myself. It leans on things, and now I keep adding things where I'm like, oh, this will be a nice like here, let me try this, but now that's too far from my fucking well that's better. Oh my, I guess I should have done all this before. Okay, Halloween coming up and your emo fucking gothas self, of course is like fucking glove Halloween because it's when the darkness rises and when the spirits and smudges and witchcraft and but good witchcraft. But either way it don't matter because bappha met. Yeah, let's go to the top of the calendar and go down the holidays really yeah, and see what you've come to where you stand on.

00:02:12
Speaker 2: All that Oh my gosh, like passion or ration, but with the holidays.

00:02:17
Speaker 1: I guess, yeah, fu yeah, alright, fucking dumb and dumb. Okay, yeah, because literally, as I was saying this, in the back of my head, I was like, I did not prepare the love or shove. I forgot the name was passionate around so yes, so this whole fucking show is going to be, oh.

00:02:34
Speaker 2: My god, passion ration.

00:02:36
Speaker 1: Bring it and you get to explain each all right. Number one New Year's Eve, which really the end of the year.

00:02:44
Speaker 2: But yeah, what an interesting question there?

00:02:46
Speaker 1: Yeah? Interesting where I put it? Or interesting?

00:02:49
Speaker 2: Yeah? Would you put it at the beginning or the end of the year? I would put it at the.

00:02:54
Speaker 1: End, man, I guess, Yeah, you're right, all right, we'll save it to the all right, so then technically leaving off like an Arbor day and presidents and like that, and we like trees not president. I guess February. Then Valentine's Day is the first in the holiday calendar. Yeah, Valentine's Day, passion or ration?

00:03:24
Speaker 2: Passion?

00:03:25
Speaker 1: Why?

00:03:26
Speaker 2: I mean it's it's a sweet day, like obviously, Yeah, it's a like harm holiday sort of situation very much, but it's also what's to hate?

00:03:40
Speaker 1: Do you? Did you guys exchange Valentines in class when you were a kid.

00:03:45
Speaker 3: Yeah?

00:03:45
Speaker 2: I love that part?

00:03:46
Speaker 1: Did they? Everyone had to bring one for everybody? Okay? The reason your generation, our generation was traumatized and suffered, so your generation could get an appreciation to participate.

00:04:00
Speaker 2: So I could run.

00:04:02
Speaker 1: That they didn't have those rules for us when we were kids. Oh yeah, So you know there were kids that didn't get Valentine's that would bro Some of them grew up to become killers. Some of them grew up to be true villains. I think one of them was Lex Luthor and Bain. Honestly, you want to break a fucking kid?

00:04:25
Speaker 2: Oh that's really fucked think about it.

00:04:27
Speaker 3: They made that rule can I can?

00:04:31
Speaker 1: I do you? Can? I fuck your head? Even more so?

00:04:35
Speaker 4: No, me no, And that I'm going to.

00:04:48
Speaker 1: Is why I'm the real life dexter. And I kill people and I wrap them in plastic.

00:04:54
Speaker 3: She's rapped away. Was kind of wondering, Yeah, like was he what was he doing down there?

00:05:00
Speaker 2: What does he do at night?

00:05:01
Speaker 1: Kill people? To make up for the fact that I never got to fuck Valentine one year. I want to say it was fourth grade, but there were no rules back then. And mind you, I had given out a box of Valentine.

00:05:11
Speaker 2: Stop, I'm gonna I'm gonna fucking.

00:05:14
Speaker 1: Go, made sure everybody got one, oh my gold. So because of sad ass Charlie Brown, losers like your fat ass dad, that is why your generation the rules are everyone gets up. Otherwise we risk creating another Kevin Smith who wants that. Are you emotionally engaged in the story? Are you upset that I didn't get a Valentine when I was nine years old? Everything worked out? Bro? I here, can I take you back though? Think about this before you contained this, contained this. If I had gotten a Valentine at age nine or maybe two, the butterfly effect is perhaps you're never born. Think about it, the kid who didn't get the valentine would try harder to be liked and all that stuff that made me me and me being me makes you exist in the first place, because I wind up meeting somebody who's like I like all of this. I can work with this.

00:06:26
Speaker 3: Oh my god.

00:06:28
Speaker 1: So it's a matter of perspective. One could look at it and be like that nine year old Kevin did Smith didn't get a Valentine. I was not the only one in class probably, but you know, let's focus on me, because I believe my motto, you'll it'll be written on my gravestone. Let's focus on me.

00:06:48
Speaker 2: It was already fucking rough, and.

00:06:52
Speaker 3: You gave everyone that's what.

00:06:55
Speaker 1: Broke you liked you poor? Then add to it, mind you, this is fourth grade, This is me at nine. This is missveiling the teachers like the gut on you. Mister Smith. Nine was a bad year man, but survived. I survived it, I you know, and again like my ninth year in terms of something to survive. Imagine the rest of the world. Yeah, their kids who are like bribe to survive. A father punched the ship out, Like what were you surviving? So yeah, but yeah, trauma's trauma. They taught me that in the nut in the booby hatch, and the idea of not minimizing your trauma by being like, you know, well, I wasn't beaten, so I can't think this was bad, you know, being nine, not getting a violent Valentine, being nine, being told you're fat in front of your class. These are traumatic events that they are do their own unpacking, and I have unpacked them, and I'm cool with them now. That's why I'm not crying. But I'm like, I really a good one. But I do always think about, like, you know, because I was a beloved child, you know, within my home and whatnot, and in school I was well liked and what not. But what if, you know, that wasn't the case. What if I didn't have love and support? What if that instance of not getting a Valentine, which was rare, you know what I'm saying, It wasn't like every year I was like, oh my god, every year I was like Ralph Wickham.

00:08:29
Speaker 3: I chew, chew, you chew, cho choose.

00:08:32
Speaker 1: Me, haunting whatever, poor broken hearted girl quickly erases a name and hands me. But they didn't even do that. So no, but it shapes character, and that character winds up being who you are, and who you are winds up getting you laid, and who you lay winds up getting your kid.

00:08:50
Speaker 2: Yes, it's all part of your story.

00:08:52
Speaker 1: It really is. Man. So when you say, who don't like moln Time's day May When I go out on February fourteenth every year at night with a fucking pick axe and a minors fucking mask and hit all the proms and cut out teenage hearts.

00:09:12
Speaker 2: I was really only thinking of it from one perspective.

00:09:15
Speaker 1: I'm actually, you know what, I'm fucking confusing two movies, Valentine and My Bloody Valentine and prom Night, which I believe have both been remade by this point. In the eighties, they were so bad ass. We that's the eighties what you missed, and you're always like the fucking nineties. Man, fuck the nineties. In the eighties we had a horror movie for every.

00:09:33
Speaker 2: Holiday, Dude, that's pretty fired.

00:09:36
Speaker 1: Until no Thanksgiving. But then we got one of those recently and stuff.

00:09:40
Speaker 2: Did you see it?

00:09:41
Speaker 1: I did not, but I saw the trailer when it was part of Grindhouse, but I never saw the finished Was it just called Thanksgiving. But I like that it exists very much. Yeah, I feel CO signed it a thousand times and I will eventually get to watch it because I was at a horror con this weekend. I was at Horror in Cincinnati, and as they whisked me around the floor, I passed a poster, like a fan made poster for Thanksgiving, and the Pilgrim mask was on it, which you know, So that made me and it was it was weird that you mentioned we mentioned it because I guess it was buried in my subconscious and any of that.

00:10:20
Speaker 2: That's what led us to go through the holidays.

00:10:23
Speaker 3: That's true.

00:10:25
Speaker 1: So there it was. In short, the eighties were a good time for horror movies, and not all of us got Valentinee. But Valentine's Passion not ration.

00:10:38
Speaker 2: Well after for you after that story, I'm like.

00:10:43
Speaker 1: For me, it's ration. I'm the batman of Valentine's Day. No nine year old boy is ever going to feel what I felt on that horrible day.

00:10:50
Speaker 5: Oh my God, together over yours, you really do couple.

00:11:02
Speaker 1: All right. So Valentine's Day is.

00:11:04
Speaker 2: February, uh huh, March Patty's.

00:11:08
Speaker 1: Day, Saint Patrick's Day a holiday that finds its origins in Catholicism.

00:11:15
Speaker 3: Saint Patrick's Day.

00:11:18
Speaker 1: Saint Patrick was a real guy, legendarily drove the snakes out of Orerelande. I don't know if that part's true, but yeah, he's their guy and my middle name. So Saint Patrick's Day has always been big in my world because my mom was always like, oh aren't your day Tiger?

00:11:39
Speaker 2: Really?

00:11:40
Speaker 1: Yeah, mamily was always fucking so was the Patrick of it all, because there was no Saint Kevin's Day. If there was, it was celebrated within the church and.

00:11:47
Speaker 2: That was it birthday.

00:11:49
Speaker 1: But the Patrick things, she was like, at you, no wonder I wound up as an entertainer, something that had absolutely nothing to do with me. She was just like, it's yours. He celebrated. My mom believed in fucking celebrating oneself or at least others. I don't know how she feels betterrself, but she made me feel like I was valuable, you know, like I was. It's like I had something to offer without ever being like a stage mom who's like, oh, you should do a thing. Like she didn't believe in that sort of shit. She didn't believe it was possible. But she always made me feel Yeah, that's important. That's why I don't matter get you know who gave me a valenzie when I was nine, when I didn't get him. A class boy's best friend is his mother? Oh my god mother, no blood, oh godmother, Oh my god. All right, Saint Patrick still uh. In my world, it was always a passion. The older I got though, more of a ration because it's one of them drinking holidays where everybody's like, look's good, fucked up, let's get fucked up.

00:12:52
Speaker 2: It really is.

00:12:53
Speaker 1: And you know I have none against drinking. Drunks have a real hard time with and boil boy. Yeah, the fists go Swinginggora Saint Patrick's day. It traditionally gives a low fruit humorous like myself, the opportunity to employ the phrase Aaron gobralis. Oh so I say passion? Where do you stand?

00:13:20
Speaker 2: I say passion? When I was younger, your mom used to flip over my furniture, and that really did it for me. As if the leopard coun came and then Molder our dog, our sweet sweet boyd he would have yellow lab.

00:13:39
Speaker 1: We had Molder and Scully. We were big x files. But Molder is the one we're.

00:13:42
Speaker 2: Talking about her, he would have a piece of green ribbon in his mouth, like he almost caught.

00:13:49
Speaker 1: The trap was set when I started talking about holidays, because earlier today I was just like, I bet y'all get her to talk about the lepercaun shit, because I was like, maybe you could talk about like fairies, do you believe the leprecauns? At a leader to talk about the lepricam But I was like, you know what, holidays.

00:14:05
Speaker 2: You were just waiting for me to get here. Are we even going to go.

00:14:08
Speaker 1: Through the rest of the year quality content right here on a psychological level, now, that.

00:14:14
Speaker 2: Was honestly, like so awesome that that is like a standout memory from from my childhood. Yeah, the holidays done right here.

00:14:23
Speaker 1: We're credits done. That's true. Jennifer like was the one that was like, let's turn chairs upside down and ship like that and pretend there was a leper count because that, to me wasn't that wasn't like, you know again, Saint Patrick's day in our world was more about Saint Patrick, And yeah we had clovers and fucking leprechauns and shit, but like I didn't have some tradition of like we flipped chairs upset. So one day Jennifer is like, let's like, like, we'll put the chairs upside and say, like, the Leprecaun is here. So I had a green hockey jersey that I'd gotten from some place, and I was like, let's let's go one more, let's go one level more and stuff. So we cut a piece of it off to make it look like it was like his uh tails, you know, jacket, his coat tails, and then put it in Moulder's mouth, and Moulder, god bless him, was just like, I don't want this, don't eat it, just let it hang there. He's like, but I don't want it, and he kept looking it up. So we put it on, put it on him and stuff, and then we were like, oh my god, Harley, the Leprechaun has been here. Looked like the pool furniture, and it was the believa believable enough scenario for a kid, But even the kids still had a like turn for trips. I know, the evidence of like Molder caught a piece of a fuck the fuck unassailable physical crew of the existence. It really really won no doubt, and you were just like, because that get the little greedy little kid within her. It was just like, get a piece of the coat. You're once up closer to the money.

00:16:07
Speaker 2: My god, I was just like, oh my god, this is so goe.

00:16:13
Speaker 1: It was.

00:16:14
Speaker 2: It was very that was so fun.

00:16:17
Speaker 1: I got away for a couple of years. Man. Once Santa stopped existing, everybody, you know, suddenly it was like, what about the let ship?

00:16:29
Speaker 3: Yeah?

00:16:31
Speaker 1: So passion or ration passion Patrick? So two passions should have instituted some sort of rule, like it has to be half and half. But you know what, there are no rules here. Yeah, you know what? And why am I ever going to live it? Limit or govern passion? Who the fuck am I the burgermeister, Meister Berger in a way?

00:16:49
Speaker 2: Beardless?

00:16:52
Speaker 1: Freedom country people, This is where you come from. Freedom and ship. This is the Alaska podcasts. Man, you're off the grid. You can you to human being and nobody will fucking know.

00:17:02
Speaker 2: All right, we're not saying that a March.

00:17:06
Speaker 1: Is Saint Patrick's day. Passion Passion next up April, which oftentimes does happen in March, but let's take it traditionally. It sometimes it does Easter Passion.

00:17:21
Speaker 2: Or ration, Wow, it's Cinnamon's Day.

00:17:25
Speaker 1: No, because you have a rabbit a bunny.

00:17:27
Speaker 2: It's a very special day.

00:17:28
Speaker 1: I can't tell you. I was at the aforementioned horror Hound convention. Guy gave me. I mean might have seen it on my desk. One of the most amazing gifts I've ever been given out of con People give you stuff all the times, lovely, but this dude took and created the mask, the test mask on three D printed test mask that is based on even used the words he goes It's like Ben Cooper mask from our childhood when we were kids. You have a plastic mask of our band around. It came in a box the clear cover self fame covers could see inside, and then a one piece outfit you stepped into and so tied in the back that usually, if you were lucky, it was the out for your character war if not, it was a picture of your character. Like I had a Hulk Ben Cooper mask, which was the Hulk mask, but the body had a picture of the Hulk like he was wearing a Hulk T shirt. So you're like, but in any event, one to sign one to keep this amazing fucking tusk mask where I'm like, you saw it right, gorgeous I said, dude, how many of these can you make? Because he's like I did in my spare time. I was like, how many of these can make a monk? I would buy these and sell them at the story, like these are fucking amazing, and ship he goes, well, I have a job, so I can only do like certain minute.

00:18:43
Speaker 3: I said what's your job?

00:18:45
Speaker 1: And he goes, I run a rescue bunny preserve And I was like what and he goes, yeah, he's gotta know your kid. Yeah. His organization is called something Harvey Friends of Harvey. I don't know, but Harvey is a common rabbit name because of at least for a generation or so, because of Jimmy Stewart's movie Harvey, the movie about the Invisible rabbit. So his rabbit was named Harvey. Harvey passed away, and he named his you know, rescue after Harvey. So naturally, I was like, how old was Harvey and he was like, well, we don't know. Because he was a rescue. He said, he changed his life. It's really touching, but he doesn't know his true age, just like you don't know Cinnamon's true.

00:19:37
Speaker 2: How long were they together?

00:19:38
Speaker 1: For many years? Let's just leave it at that never enough.

00:19:48
Speaker 2: You sound like me every single time. Every single time I tell people that Cinnamon is at least like eleven years old.

00:19:58
Speaker 1: She's got pushing double dick it is.

00:20:01
Speaker 3: Oh no, she's yeah.

00:20:02
Speaker 2: I mean we're approaching our decade anniversary.

00:20:07
Speaker 1: Are you serious?

00:20:08
Speaker 2: This December? December twenty sixth.

00:20:10
Speaker 1: December that's coming up in twenty twenty four.

00:20:12
Speaker 2: I'm gonna throw a party.

00:20:14
Speaker 1: That's incredible. Now. All I want in life are two things. My mom's cat to stay alive and your rabbit to stay alive.

00:20:25
Speaker 2: They will thank you so much.

00:20:27
Speaker 1: That is ten years and that rabbit was old when you got her. She came in here.

00:20:31
Speaker 2: Well as as busted rescue man over there said he, uh, he doesn't know how old Harvey was, and same, I don't know how old Sinnmon was. But they said she was two. But I'm like, how the fuck would you know that? Because she got surrendered to the shelter before that from a really abusive situation from a hoarder. But they said she was two, So there's a chance Simmon's like twelve goddamn years of two men. But wait, all they're gonna say, oh, where's this man's versus man's sanctuary and can't go.

00:21:10
Speaker 1: I don't know I have his Maggie got his cards, So I'm gonna write to him because I mean, I know you're interested in his bunny situation, but I'm like, more masks, more masks.

00:21:21
Speaker 2: Well, I can go for the bunnies, you can go for the mask, truly.

00:21:23
Speaker 1: But I thought you'd be heartened to hear about that organization.

00:21:26
Speaker 2: I am when I when I tell people that Cinnamon is over ten years old, They're like, how long do rabbits live? And I'm always like forever, good answer, forever, and.

00:21:40
Speaker 1: They're like, you know, okay, it's weird because with humans there's some weird unspoken expiration date. Like that's like, oh yeah, I got like seventy eight years to worry about this motherfucker. As if everybody makes it that far and stuff. You should treat everybody human and rabbit alike every damn day like a precious gift.

00:22:01
Speaker 2: Cinnamon is the greatest gift in my life.

00:22:04
Speaker 1: And Easter is a day of buddies.

00:22:07
Speaker 2: It is her appreciation day. So Easter passion, big passion, never ration, never, never ration on appreciation.

00:22:16
Speaker 1: For cinnamon unless it gets to Jesus yeah, because that's.

00:22:24
Speaker 2: Got aside. It's a day for rabbits, all right.

00:22:28
Speaker 1: Next one is May May, of course his Mother's day.

00:22:31
Speaker 2: Passionate, Yes, of course.

00:22:33
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, you got no choice, passion, and.

00:22:37
Speaker 1: One one day, if you ever choose to become a mom, you'll also be like fucking passion bitch. Like god damn, it would be nice to day for.

00:22:43
Speaker 2: Me, love to love to all the moms.

00:22:46
Speaker 1: Yeah. You know, if you'd ask me when I was a kid, I'd be.

00:22:49
Speaker 2: Like, so emo that guy from the interviews, the emo guy in the in the.

00:22:56
Speaker 3: The guy I've had enough of my mother.

00:22:59
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Mommiy, that never happened. Yeah, what the help mommy?

00:23:04
Speaker 1: She at you. She conditioned me in such a way. I mean, I am co dependent because of Momily, So she broke me in such a way that, yeah, I would never not have Mammily involved in some way.

00:23:16
Speaker 2: Momiy was really really trying to set me up with her mail nurse.

00:23:22
Speaker 1: She kept quick phone call with my mom before we started the show, and she was really selling Harley on like I got a mail nurse here.

00:23:30
Speaker 2: She kept calling mailners with two c's fucking real. I was like, come on, you.

00:23:37
Speaker 1: Do remember Austin. She's like, yeah, well fucking this is a side piece Harley.

00:23:43
Speaker 2: And she forgets what she says. Sometimes she keeps.

00:23:49
Speaker 1: The idea of infidelity. Har Harley, fuck this guy. No, no, grandma Harley Harley, fuck my male nurse. That was the other thing she kept calling my mail nurse. I was like, you could probably just call him your nurse. Smile. He was very patient, and she's always like say hello, hello, and thank you for taking care of my mother.

00:24:10
Speaker 2: She said say hello to the same people, like over and.

00:24:13
Speaker 1: Over again, and then they're like, like, I heard you have a movie coming out. I was like, gee, I wonder who you heard it from. Like, yeah, she's my greatest publicist. Mother's Day passion, passion, and only a fucking animal would be rash. Come on, maybe not. Maybe somebody is like.

00:24:30
Speaker 2: I hated my mother, Well yeah, but just like in general, you know, sending sending love to the mom.

00:24:36
Speaker 1: The word probably like rah, yeah for sure, Oh my god, you know my stepmother. What a bitch.

00:24:44
Speaker 2: I cannot relate. What's so we will be moving on now.

00:24:50
Speaker 1: June his Father's Day. I never saw one of those cats. Every day is this day? So Father's Day historically in our world, I've always kind of like given over to Byron to Pop.

00:25:07
Speaker 2: Well, I mean, po deserves appreciation whenever Pap can get here. He is a hero to us all but no passion.

00:25:20
Speaker 1: I loved my father, well I loved your father too, and I loved mine. But I never feel the the need to celebrate it. But I do like that it is a day we could recognize Byron, who is a hero of all of ours. So passion, passion, Jesus is gonna be hard to find a ration for holidays.

00:25:42
Speaker 2: There's one coming up next that, right, I really do not enjoy for the July.

00:25:48
Speaker 1: Oh that's coming up. Wait, that's so that's April, May, June. Is there anything in June now? Just the end of school? Wow, that's a holiday. Indeed, passion rasual.

00:25:59
Speaker 2: Look my birthday, passion my birthday, and.

00:26:05
Speaker 1: Like birthday everyday.

00:26:07
Speaker 2: I wish I was like one of the subtle and humble people who are like, I don't care about my birthday, but my birthday.

00:26:16
Speaker 1: I'm always just like, well, I guess we could do a show. It's marketable.

00:26:19
Speaker 2: Yeah, you always just try to work on your birthday. But I'm always like this goes the desert.

00:26:24
Speaker 1: You're more like Uncle Don my brother who birthday I share. I was born on his birthday when he was four years old. He is like, it's my birthday month like so, and our birthday is August second, so all long is to celebrate. True, he's doing it right. So your birthday, of course, passion. Now we are fourth of July.

00:26:47
Speaker 2: I really don't like fourth of July that, oh it's too loud, won't mean to poppy fireworks and I don't really like fireworks, and they're they're so scary for wildlife, and so whenever I like, whenever it's a fireworks holiday, I'm always.

00:27:07
Speaker 1: Just like thinking of the animals out there.

00:27:10
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so scary. Imagine you having no idea what it is and it's just all these loud sounds and then they're like running into ditch, into dangerous situations because they're scared. Are you yawning?

00:27:22
Speaker 1: I was suppressing an I was thinking of this thing. Yeah, it's not you. I just got up at like five in the morning, but I was thinking about this thing that I saw today on Instagram of somebody rescuers.

00:27:35
Speaker 3: Fox rescuers were parked.

00:27:38
Speaker 1: In like the woods and mill of knights that they had their fucking lights on, and these two fox kits came like running out, and the way they came running out was kind of a door.

00:27:48
Speaker 2: So cute.

00:27:49
Speaker 1: They are the kind of animals that would have been scared. But little baby foxes. That's what my head went to. When you're like, could you imagine most animals be like, I think I've got this down now, but a little baby fox kid the middle of nowhere.

00:28:01
Speaker 2: Like birds like flying, flying the buildings and ship because they're scared.

00:28:05
Speaker 1: Dogs usually go nuts. Ours done, Ours have been historically been pretty good. Lucky gets a little although Lucky gets unsettled when the wind blows the window. Lucky fight the wind. Lucky had a girl bite it, if you can so brief. So Fourth of July? What else? So there's fireworks, that is.

00:28:26
Speaker 2: It doesn't bring out my most favorite kind of people.

00:28:30
Speaker 3: I would say, is that right?

00:28:32
Speaker 1: Yeah?

00:28:32
Speaker 3: I just don't really do you drinking holiday?

00:28:34
Speaker 1: For sure?

00:28:35
Speaker 3: Yeah?

00:28:35
Speaker 2: It really is. I've also just I have never had a good Fourth of July. Every year, I always feel like a pressure to do something, but I don't. I don't know what to to do it. When then every year I'm just I feel very uncomfortable all day.

00:28:52
Speaker 3: Just America.

00:28:54
Speaker 1: It's all about your mother's Jennifer loves Fourth of July. If we were here doing passion I ration, she would be like, oh, triple passion. She's very patriotic. I truly her dad and her grandfather served in the military, so she's very like Fourth of July. Well, yeah, in your camp, I'm more of a ration Fourth of July.

00:29:27
Speaker 2: Very grateful for all the brave people who have.

00:29:32
Speaker 3: Just absolutely throwing that out.

00:29:34
Speaker 2: There like she hates it. She's unappreciative.

00:29:38
Speaker 1: No, I'm just saying she Fourth of July has nothing to do with the military. You don't have to worry about that. But it's yeah, it's I'm not a big fireworks person. I'm like, yeah, I get it, ship blows up in the sky.

00:29:55
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just don't.

00:29:58
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not my my on my back. And then add the drinking to it. And I like barbecues, but you don't need to wait for that day to do it.

00:30:09
Speaker 2: If I was invited to like some cool vegan barbecue.

00:30:13
Speaker 3: But I was.

00:30:16
Speaker 1: Just like your young dad not getting a Valentine at age nine. You were not invited to some vegan Fourth of July barbecue. But I like America very much. I love America and also fucking like I love the idea of Like, hey, America's got a birthday? What a concept? Yesterday was the two hundred and forty third birthday of Los Angeles.

00:30:37
Speaker 2: Really she's young, Yeah.

00:30:39
Speaker 1: She's pretty young, and she got a long asked name, real long yes name. But yeah, I'm more of a ration. Fourth of July kind of guy. August no real holiday except which I'm more of a ration my birthday kind of guy unless I can book a gig.

00:30:58
Speaker 2: I love your birthday.

00:30:59
Speaker 1: I thank my birthday directly leads to your birthday. So I don't like your birthday. What happens after September nothing? I mean, it's like, isn't it like labor day?

00:31:11
Speaker 2: Or yeah?

00:31:11
Speaker 1: But yeah, I like labor, the idea of the labor force and ship. I am doing labor, but I've been forced to do it.

00:31:20
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, No, it was always.

00:31:22
Speaker 3: Cool like back to school, let's choose that.

00:31:25
Speaker 2: Yeah, but Russian fucking so hard, Russian a good time in school? Fucking hated school so much?

00:31:33
Speaker 1: Really, now you're twenty five?

00:31:37
Speaker 2: Nightmares. I have nightmares frequently about school.

00:31:41
Speaker 1: Bro. You weren't fucking carry where they were like, plug it up, plug it up, plug it up, and dump pig's blood on your fucking head.

00:31:48
Speaker 2: It's true.

00:31:51
Speaker 1: I mean about I ain't taken away in the Olympics. Contest. Trauma's trauma? What is the what? What do they do?

00:31:57
Speaker 2: I just I just felt how.

00:32:00
Speaker 1: Could high school have been? Made it better for you?

00:32:03
Speaker 2: I felt like I really did not fit in where I went to school, an all girls college preparatory school.

00:32:10
Speaker 1: Would you have preferred to go to public school? I got roughed up, tough kids.

00:32:17
Speaker 2: That's a that's I'm obviously so grateful for the great education that came with the school I went to. It was just the people that went yeah, you know they Yeah, did.

00:32:36
Speaker 1: They make your life miserable?

00:32:38
Speaker 2: I just felt that I just felt very alone.

00:32:41
Speaker 3: Did you Yeah?

00:32:42
Speaker 2: I felt so long.

00:32:43
Speaker 3: And it was weird because my high school experience is completely.

00:32:45
Speaker 2: Yeah, you fucking thrived in high school. It was not one of those.

00:32:48
Speaker 1: People so much so that I was like, I want this to keep going, And I was like, film, that's kind of a way.

00:32:54
Speaker 3: To keep the party going. Trure, you have a point, all right, So ration.

00:33:00
Speaker 2: And goodbye back to school. Labor Day was awesome because it was like, who, no.

00:33:04
Speaker 1: School, no Memorial Day. Oh that's the good one in May. Other than Mother's Day. Memorial Day kicks off like summer vacation. Oh yeah, yeah yeah, Labor Day is back to school.

00:33:15
Speaker 2: Oh yeah yeah yeah.

00:33:17
Speaker 3: So ration that shit, yeah so true.

00:33:19
Speaker 1: For a kid that didn't like school, I was happy. I was always happy to go back to school. I like the social aspect of it, and I also did like learning, although not at their pace and also not some of the things that they wanted to teach me. I'm like, well, I'm not interested in the shit, but you know what, they gave me useful skills, not just the command of the language and basic mathematics, but like, I took typing my fucking sophomore year and high school.

00:33:45
Speaker 2: And you know, look at you now.

00:33:47
Speaker 1: All I do is fucking type man. But then again, we all became a nation of typists thanks to like texting and sit.

00:33:54
Speaker 2: Like that's true.

00:33:55
Speaker 1: All right, So we are in October, and that, of course, is the home of Harley Ween. Tell them how much you love Halloween, kiddo.

00:34:05
Speaker 2: I love Halloween more than any other day of the year. Is something about it just really really delights me to no end. I just love it so much. It's it was always so trigger. Treating was the best part of childhood, Like fuck, it was so fun.

00:34:27
Speaker 1: What what what about treating? Dressing up, going to the places, or the idea of getting something for nothing?

00:34:34
Speaker 2: I mean that part two.

00:34:36
Speaker 1: But I think I think it has a lot to do it with something for nothing based on like the rest of your life. You know, if somebody's like, here's a T shirt, like thanks, maybe I just love when it comes down.

00:34:50
Speaker 2: Maybe that's what it comes down to it.

00:34:54
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, you do. You and your mom. One time I went to a fucking.

00:34:57
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I know what you're gonna say, because this was.

00:35:01
Speaker 1: This didn't even affect you personally, and still you haven't been believable. So we were at this. I went to this by myself. I went to this Goop event where I spoke about it after my heart attack. So I spoke about the heart attack and Jennifer, I think, was supposed to come with me or somebody else because they offered me two Goop bags.

00:35:26
Speaker 2: And you said you were going to say no to both of that.

00:35:30
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was like, that's okay, And they're like you got to take one. Yeah, And so I was like all right. And when I got it home, rather than being like Sanity, oh, thank you forgetting this and giving it to me, instead when I was like, well, they offered me too, but I only took the one. I have been hearing about it for the better part of the last six years from not just my wife, but from my kid, like, she's right, dad, you know you shouldn't got goopyess, she's expective.

00:35:58
Speaker 2: A free group.

00:35:59
Speaker 5: Give back.

00:36:00
Speaker 6: Bro.

00:36:01
Speaker 1: You know, it was really swallowing my dignity and pride to take the one, Like I don't do that. I don't.

00:36:10
Speaker 2: Really do you take the free ship when the free ship comes.

00:36:14
Speaker 1: I'm not that guy, especially if it's not something I'm going to use. Like you know, I was like, I don't.

00:36:19
Speaker 3: I don't want any of this ship.

00:36:21
Speaker 1: I know, believe me going forward. If Goop ever, what are you doing?

00:36:25
Speaker 6: Wucky?

00:36:26
Speaker 2: Come on?

00:36:27
Speaker 1: She found a place where she wanted to be away from Bertie. I'm sorry Bertie, everyone a while you.

00:36:32
Speaker 3: Want to be near me.

00:36:34
Speaker 1: Bertie's got the look of a kid who didn't get a valance.

00:36:36
Speaker 5: I knew you were going to say that you are worthy Bertie.

00:36:43
Speaker 1: She did look to you and be like.

00:36:44
Speaker 2: Am I.

00:36:47
Speaker 1: The I I like Halloween and have traditionally, But I think it's charming that you go as hard for Halloween as you do.

00:36:56
Speaker 2: And always be fun. Bro, It's so.

00:36:59
Speaker 1: Fun, spooky fun, Bro, Harley Quinn's.

00:37:02
Speaker 2: Story, spooky fun is the best kind of fun. A little bit of cute spooky times. But then also like like Disney.

00:37:10
Speaker 1: Who wants to have cute spooky times? You're like, uh, fucking I want to watch Texas Chains, I'll mask You're like that cute spooky well.

00:37:18
Speaker 2: That also and I am gonna go do that?

00:37:20
Speaker 1: Are there.

00:37:22
Speaker 2: Cemetery?

00:37:23
Speaker 1: Is it a spectrum? Like? I know you are into cute spooky times, but like, are you also into like bloody splattery butchery times.

00:37:33
Speaker 2: As long as it's fictional. Yeah, horror movie, Yeah, I fucking love it. I I oh, I can't wait to go back to Horror Nights.

00:37:44
Speaker 1: So you did the Horror Nights thing and you were way into it.

00:37:46
Speaker 3: I did, my friend, arek Scary Farms about to start?

00:37:50
Speaker 2: I'm really trying to go. I really I can't wait. Actually, my friend Jillian works at Universal as a tour guide. So for the employe preview night. She brought me because I'm insane and have been watching I've been watching speculation videos about what war Nights was gonna be since June.

00:38:13
Speaker 3: Are you serious?

00:38:15
Speaker 2: I love it? I love it so much.

00:38:18
Speaker 1: If you don't follow, I mean you must, even if you're not, don't live near these two places. I assume they do it in Florida right at that Universal.

00:38:25
Speaker 2: Yeah, And you know what's so fucked up?

00:38:27
Speaker 1: The Universal Parks they do this these haunted horror Nights or Hollywood Hornet what was it.

00:38:32
Speaker 2: Called Halloween harn.

00:38:34
Speaker 1: Halloween horn Night, where they you know, outside of the park and in the.

00:38:39
Speaker 2: Park is not outside inside.

00:38:41
Speaker 1: Inside, everything's inside.

00:38:43
Speaker 2: It's all inside.

00:38:44
Speaker 1: Nothing on city walk and ship, it's all in the park. So you pay and you go in and it's all like one big fucking spooky haunt imagined type of thing or something.

00:38:52
Speaker 2: Really fucking scary mazes, really scary. Discount don't discount it is.

00:39:02
Speaker 1: Because really scary.

00:39:04
Speaker 2: It's so scary. But they do in Hollywood they do sounds so weird.

00:39:10
Speaker 1: To say, but at the Drugs.

00:39:14
Speaker 2: Yes, But in the Universal in Hollywood they bring the houses into the sound stages, which is still sick.

00:39:22
Speaker 1: Oh that's kind of cool. So you can't go, so you're you're not just going through like the park itself, but they actually bring you on too. A sound smart use of the like oh yeah, Like they'll do it until like mid November, even pasting.

00:39:39
Speaker 2: It's like November, is that what it is?

00:39:42
Speaker 1: But they'll start. When did they start? They started?

00:39:45
Speaker 2: No, Horror Nights started in September. September almost two full months Disney started.

00:39:53
Speaker 1: There's in August the really what that what's there called.

00:39:56
Speaker 2: Ooky Boogie Badge. It's lazy.

00:40:03
Speaker 1: And every year there's it's called the Bash.

00:40:06
Speaker 2: In California, Adventure in Disneyland, and then in Florida they do Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween.

00:40:11
Speaker 1: That's it.

00:40:14
Speaker 2: Mickey's Not So Scary Halloween Party is a core ass memory for me from childhood, A distinct Momily you I I'm.

00:40:25
Speaker 1: You mom, and I think you went with Momily and and I think I don't think I was there.

00:40:32
Speaker 2: I think your core childhood memory is Grandma or mamily giving me a trick or treat bucket before we went. That was like a pumpkin. Mickey receiving that was a is a core memory and then standing outside Pirates of the Caribbean, there was like some photo op and there is a picture of it somewhere because I saw the picture and I was like, that's the core memory in my head?

00:40:59
Speaker 1: What we wear? You addresses?

00:41:01
Speaker 2: I feel like maybe Cinderella, which is.

00:41:05
Speaker 1: I remember those pictures, but.

00:41:09
Speaker 2: I think Cinderella. But yeah, that that that really leaves in my head.

00:41:15
Speaker 3: Whnt free forever?

00:41:17
Speaker 1: That's a scare. Halloween. Have you been back as an adult?

00:41:20
Speaker 2: No? No, No, I really want to so bad.

00:41:23
Speaker 1: So is it happening now?

00:41:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's sold out. Hey you couldn't so.

00:41:32
Speaker 1: Wait if we go down and see mamily, you could go to Mickey's. Not so they do it every day.

00:41:40
Speaker 3: I don't think every day.

00:41:42
Speaker 2: Probably the weekend.

00:41:45
Speaker 1: There's a chance you could go because Uncle Don he's got the hookups. It's not like me. I don't know the cup when it comes to theme parks, but he sure does because you know he's just like you knew that person at worked to the universal. He's got that place wired well. So you can relive a core memory and ship.

00:42:02
Speaker 2: I'll be a fucking christ any Momy will give me a trick retreat bucket again, Like I need to.

00:42:10
Speaker 1: Hand me. Then was like, what, just do it? Core memory achieved unlocked. All right, So that's October and you live following, passion following, I have a passion following.

00:42:24
Speaker 3: I certainly don't feel rap really seems like it.

00:42:28
Speaker 1: I know, I never dress up. I've never like costumed. Come on bro, No, no, I won't come on bro. Why it's weird though that I haven't. You know, like, there's some people like Heidi Kloone takes it very seriously.

00:42:41
Speaker 2: She really does.

00:42:42
Speaker 1: She plans like fucking three years out and.

00:42:44
Speaker 2: Ship mad respect. Yeah, when she was a worm did you see that?

00:42:48
Speaker 1: Yes, that was disturbing. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I should recruit old Schwabach and be like you be Jay and I'll be silent, but I'm.

00:42:57
Speaker 2: Sure she'll be like.

00:43:00
Speaker 3: Finally, he asked, November is Thanksgiving?

00:43:05
Speaker 2: I mean not a very vegan friendly holiday.

00:43:08
Speaker 1: Oh that's right. So passion I ration.

00:43:10
Speaker 2: Love being love being thankful and recognizing gratitude, but we really don't love doing it around a dead fucking carcass.

00:43:22
Speaker 3: Good point. Good point, just saying.

00:43:25
Speaker 2: It seems pretty fucking hypocritical to be like taking the day to recognize the people in your life, you're thankful for anything in your life you're grateful for, and you're doing it around a dead body seems pretty fucked.

00:43:39
Speaker 1: Not everyone sees it as a dead body so much as a meal, But in respect for your point of view and whatnot, I to am a vegan and I too used to love I used to love Thanksgiving because that's my favorite meal on the planet that turkey and mash too. But after going vegan, yeah, there's not much there for me on Thanksgiving. We do, but but like I'm just not, like you know, we're.

00:44:07
Speaker 2: All.

00:44:07
Speaker 1: While the kid was growing up, we had Thanksgiving like literally four times a week in this house.

00:44:11
Speaker 2: It is also my favorite meal, but the vegan version hits just as hard for me.

00:44:17
Speaker 3: So did you like turkey back in the day, that was your thing?

00:44:20
Speaker 2: I just love like mashed potatoes and gravy and stuff like mash.

00:44:23
Speaker 3: Potatoes, bravy for sure.

00:44:25
Speaker 1: Yeah, they've never really gotten turkey down to science.

00:44:28
Speaker 3: There's some turkey adjacent things out there.

00:44:33
Speaker 1: I do, but mashed potatoes. Man Like Doomies make some mashed potatoes and brown gravy and that tastes just like it came from mister steak and my child. It's amazing you can but ration and then fine, well, no, there's two more.

00:44:48
Speaker 3: Christmas passion.

00:44:51
Speaker 1: You're a big Christmas kid.

00:44:53
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I love Christmas.

00:44:57
Speaker 1: I'm not against it, but I'm not like an. I'm also not like ration, So I guess ultimately I am passion on it. But it's it's you know, and yeah more. Once you grew up, it was like, well, I guess that's it.

00:45:11
Speaker 2: That October through December for.

00:45:13
Speaker 1: Me, the entire holiday corridor, holiday corridor.

00:45:16
Speaker 2: I love when it's chilli. I love the holidays that happened and it's just a good time.

00:45:24
Speaker 1: So Christmas passion, passion, and then finally New Year's Eve.

00:45:34
Speaker 2: I it falls a little bit in the same category as Fourth of July for me.

00:45:41
Speaker 1: I I what I did to get away from like drinkers and drinking and ship like that drunks, was go head first into a place where everyone's drunk. So I tend to work on New Year's Eve like we you know, me and Ralph. It's yeah, it's marketable and and that was a way for me to engage with the holiday in a way I never would personally at home. You know, I hated going to parties when I was a kid and it was like mandatory and shit like that. So as an adult, like you know, I don't want to engage in that if I don't want to, I don't want to party, but I don't want mind being around people. And also once again opportunity, like some people want a place to go, and Babylon's like New Year's Babylieve, for a long time, ten years straight was a place that they went so as a holiday in and of itself ration, but as a working day passion. If I'm working and work on the last New Year's but I've worked almost every New Year's Eve prior.

00:46:50
Speaker 3: To the doing a show.

00:46:53
Speaker 2: You too love to work on a holiday.

00:46:57
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just so orthodox unorthodox, right, Like I always like to, you know, view as cue. So just like what is everyone else doing? I'd like to swim against that stream, but not in the shitty kind of like you know, performance artist kind of.

00:47:14
Speaker 3: I'm challenging your notions.

00:47:17
Speaker 2: Also, the worth that the work ethic is admirable for sure.

00:47:21
Speaker 1: Thank you. It's true.

00:47:23
Speaker 3: It's true.

00:47:23
Speaker 1: It is work at the end of the day.

00:47:25
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's very admirable. You're like you're doing something productive when most people are partying. But also I'm always.

00:47:32
Speaker 1: Because I don't know how to party. Nobody ever taught me. I had a child opening that I could fucking change or make up for all the fucking teenage like haphazard, you know, party to them that I missed when I was a teenager, which I did. I partied, but I thought i'd fucking get to party with you.

00:47:53
Speaker 2: But you you weren't, like, were you really?

00:47:57
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like this will be fun, I'll get to do it all again, and kind of like through her perspective, but you have different much different you.

00:48:05
Speaker 2: Wanted You were looking to party again.

00:48:08
Speaker 1: I wanted to ship faced with teenagers. Yeah no, but I love the energy. I'll be honest with you. I was driving around someplace where was I was in Jersey a couple of weeks ago, and I passed a bunch of kids like going to clearly going to somebody's house for a fucking keger or something like that.

00:48:27
Speaker 2: You're like.

00:48:28
Speaker 1: I was talking to Malcolm and I was like, I really like feel like and he goes, I dare you, I dare you to walk into some teenager's fucking keger and tell them you missed the old days?

00:48:41
Speaker 2: Could you imagine to pick you up from me?

00:48:47
Speaker 1: Who are you? Like? Is this Kevin smith Man? And are you familiar with the Clerks movies? I'm sure my dad that is to bring them out here.

00:49:02
Speaker 2: It doesn't give you the right to straight up waltz in the someone's.

00:49:06
Speaker 1: Use a license?

00:49:09
Speaker 2: Did that to me?

00:49:10
Speaker 3: Though?

00:49:10
Speaker 1: What do you mean.

00:49:11
Speaker 2: Somebody in my neighborhood one time for a party we had? I guess we do have parties sometimes fu for.

00:49:21
Speaker 1: The July and New Year's even parties them at my house. I like?

00:49:28
Speaker 2: Do like parties? I do? I like? I definitely like New Year's Eve way better than for the July. But because of the renewal of it all, for the end of it all, I love that it feels good.

00:49:43
Speaker 1: But who don't like that fucking banger of a song?

00:49:46
Speaker 2: Right?

00:49:46
Speaker 1: I will? And the New Year's song? You don't know that song?

00:49:55
Speaker 2: I don't think I am familiar with the.

00:49:57
Speaker 1: New Year's When the fucking balloons drop, when when the all drops, and then they're like, happy New Year. Oh yeah, it's called old lying on. Yeah, that's what makes it a banger.

00:50:11
Speaker 3: It's real emotional and ship it is kind of.

00:50:13
Speaker 2: But I feel like going into the New Year's be like, whoa, it's and this is kind of sad. I guess it should be like good vibes and instead of.

00:50:24
Speaker 1: In the USA, Yeah for real, ne Rend said, but we.

00:50:28
Speaker 2: Need we need to be hype and going to the next day.

00:50:31
Speaker 1: Let's make the new New Year's song by Bobby.

00:50:33
Speaker 3: Boot and say, and it's Disney.

00:50:38
Speaker 1: All right, Well there it is, fucking holidays passioned and ration.

00:50:43
Speaker 2: There it really is.

00:50:44
Speaker 1: There's your fucking there's your beardless pickless men. You're like, I wonder what they're going to get into this week? Oh the calendar. Oh we had to watch her cry about how our father didn't get fucking balancines when he was nine. Well, oh my god, fucking she really hates Thanksgiving. She brought up the word dead carcass eight times.

00:51:05
Speaker 2: We're really giving the people what they want that we're going to get to.

00:51:09
Speaker 1: That was that girl's podcast. Oh my god, I'm your daddy.

00:51:13
Speaker 2: No you ask every single week, come on out.

00:51:19
Speaker 1: She's my daddy. No, call me daddy so close, call her daddy. Yes, within five tries, there you go. I want to get that call her daddy money We're not going to get there by being like shad.

00:51:35
Speaker 2: Oh god, what the fuck are we doing seeing the New Year's song talking about dead Carcass's Fuck?

00:51:41
Speaker 1: What do we expect is family podcasting at his post? That's another episode a beardless, stickless man. I'm Kevin Smith and.

00:51:54
Speaker 2: I'm Harley Quinn Smith.

00:51:55
Speaker 1: Tune in next week.

00:51:57
Speaker 2: Wait, maybe should people people tweet at you what they.

00:52:02
Speaker 1: Want to hear, what they want to talk about. You can't like we want How about if they tweet? If I give him that opportunity and they tweet, why don't you guys just both funck the hell off?

00:52:13
Speaker 2: The people already on the podcast reviews.

00:52:17
Speaker 1: Don't read their reviews. Why would you do that?

00:52:19
Speaker 2: Do that fucking ruined my night?

00:52:22
Speaker 1: Such a waste of time. Are you having a good time? Yeah, never look at the fucking review unless the review unless they're like, you know, this is the brand new call her Daddy, Then tell me that's trying to market that.

00:52:34
Speaker 3: Yeah, Oh my gosh, you're making so much.

00:52:36
Speaker 1: Wouldn't it be amazing to make that kind of money off a fucking podcast? Like how about you have some guests or talking about something more current than like, gee, what holiday. You're like the softest fucking NPR about Mickey's not so scary all the way for making plans to go at five fucking Jesus, there's a very small audience in this podcast.

00:53:03
Speaker 2: Maybe maybe someone, Maybe this shit's for someone.

00:53:10
Speaker 3: We'll get there, we'll figure it out.

00:53:12
Speaker 1: Persistence for beardless stickless ma'am.

00:53:16
Speaker 2: Kevin Smith and Marley Quinn Smith have a.

00:53:19
Speaker 1: Beardless stickless day. That's that's how we get to the caller Daddy. Yeah, go have a beardless stickless day. Put down on a shirt. Speaking of shirts, I know we're done, but what is the fucking thing where you sell clothes?

00:53:38
Speaker 2: Was so true?

00:53:39
Speaker 1: Throw it out there, because we don't make any more of yours. You gotta augment somehow.

00:53:45
Speaker 2: Oh it's on deep Hop.

00:53:47
Speaker 1: And how does one get to deep Hop And what are you selling?

00:53:50
Speaker 2: Deepop is an app? And I sell my clothes. I sell my vintage clothes.

00:53:58
Speaker 1: And how so if if somebody wants to wear I want to wear her skin, well we're not selling that. But if you want to wear my.

00:54:10
Speaker 2: Fine vintage and thrifting is a huge, huge passion of mine, and so I'm just continuing the cycle. And uh, also trying to make money on the side.

00:54:21
Speaker 1: Fifting is a big passion of mine, especially if I can make a follow. So where how do they find you? On deep Hop?

00:54:28
Speaker 2: It's my name, Harley Quinn Smith.

00:54:29
Speaker 3: It's your name, all right, So there you go.

00:54:32
Speaker 1: If you're listening and you're like, I'd wear this.

00:54:34
Speaker 3: Fucking chicks clothes, You're gonna have a chance.

00:54:36
Speaker 1: To do anything else up there?

00:54:38
Speaker 3: How about it?

00:54:39
Speaker 1: First stop deepop, last stop only fans, not yet, but.

00:54:46
Speaker 2: My Instagram subscribers, you.

00:54:48
Speaker 1: Got one of those?

00:54:50
Speaker 3: What is that? Just?

00:54:52
Speaker 1: What's your Instagram? First off? Tell me your Instagram.

00:54:54
Speaker 2: Mine once again, my name is Harley Quinn Smith.

00:54:57
Speaker 1: Is all one word, no gaps or anything like that.

00:54:59
Speaker 2: No, har Oh my god. I was shadow Band even though that episode's ton just a quick story. I found out I was fucking shadow Band because of a post of like a carousel post that included a picture of Austin in a parking lot out of Meg the Stallion concert with his pants down, and.

00:55:21
Speaker 1: They were like, you can't post disgusting things.

00:55:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, And then I found out it was flagged. And so because someone that I had met the other day asked for my Instagram and so I went to put it in and my fucking thing would not come up, But like other accounts with like pictures of like fan accounts came up, and I was like, why are these coming up in.

00:55:42
Speaker 1: Teaching? He said you he really fucking did.

00:55:49
Speaker 2: I was like, wait what? And then I found out I found this section of Instagram that was really hiding the fact that my ship was flagged and so you couldn't look my encounter.

00:56:02
Speaker 1: Oh I'm sorry, but I thought it was an inappropriate image to the good folks on Instagram, and they did what they do.

00:56:10
Speaker 2: I'm going to point out yours.

00:56:12
Speaker 1: What is that? So they can find you with Harley Quinn's ben Yes, and they can follow you like an Only fans.

00:56:18
Speaker 3: It's like a junior version of Only Junior one.

00:56:21
Speaker 1: And they get extra content and ship. How many followers you got?

00:56:26
Speaker 2: All right?

00:56:26
Speaker 1: You know, skip that question. Have any of your followers been like, great, where are the tits? You've gotten that already? Yes, Yes, this is me and my Penny Cinnamon. Show us your tests, show us the tits.

00:56:43
Speaker 2: We got to see a tit here, not cinnamons tits.

00:56:50
Speaker 1: For you, Mom, little steps.

00:57:03
Speaker 2: She feels bad for me, she.

00:57:08
Speaker 1: Does. She's like to try to take the heat off you. She's like, look at these.

00:57:17
Speaker 2: I couldn't provide enough person and then she had to step in, so fucking depressing, bro I thought my life was gonna be different.

00:57:27
Speaker 1: Sure, you gotta be careful. This is when people turn to the needle and ship like that. You're like, can't provide for my bunny. She showed her tents on the fucking only fans, not even.

00:57:41
Speaker 2: Not even as school as only fans fucking Instean subscribers.

00:57:48
Speaker 1: Man was like five hundred thousand a year doing like cheesecake shots with your rabbit on only fans, so like we want you there, Like, look, we want nudes, but if you're not willing to do that, tasteful dudes, when you hold the rabbit.

00:58:06
Speaker 2: Over you with my elderly rabbit, I want to bring cinnamon into that.

00:58:11
Speaker 1: They howl rabbit. Most people follow it.

00:58:16
Speaker 2: They don't follow that closely, So it's not for the market of my only fans don't know how old cinnamon is.

00:58:23
Speaker 1: It's more like burlesque. So you're naked, but the rabbit and the cats cover every fucking part.

00:58:30
Speaker 2: How much did he say?

00:58:31
Speaker 1: Five five hundred thousand dollars a year fucking periodswer, Wait, you're gonna get the cat to stay there?

00:58:38
Speaker 2: I'll figure out the fucking physics.

00:58:43
Speaker 1: Call you fucking stay, don't move here go? Are you kidding me? No question about it? Bro figured it out, figured them out.

00:58:53
Speaker 2: Maybe not Carl better fucking work for that.

00:58:57
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Which is the biggest Which is the biggest animal? That would be cinnamon? Move alright, So he's the one you want, funny goods, the one that sounds like.

00:59:12
Speaker 6: Privates step out in front of me, Mommy will see your prim did you make Mommy, you've involved me in pornography?

00:59:22
Speaker 2: Oh my god, shut up?

00:59:25
Speaker 1: Moved five hundred thousand, Mommy, can I show mine? Look at this? Look at this buck.

00:59:34
Speaker 2: It makes me so sad when they're crying, when they're crying about it.

00:59:40
Speaker 3: Step for money, Oh my god, so sad I can provide.

00:59:43
Speaker 1: Then you got how many? You got four cats, one rabbit, all five of them doing the two steps for money? That's pretty solid income, you know, think about it.

00:59:52
Speaker 2: Also, sign they just updated the Country Bear Jamboree at disney World and the New Bears. I know, just ignore that first part. And how fucking murdy it was founding exactly like move.

01:00:06
Speaker 3: They sound like it's actually in the country.

01:00:11
Speaker 2: It's actually insane.

01:00:12
Speaker 1: Yeah, like fucking she was just on the verges, joining only fans, fucking some semimmunity, and then she started talking about them Country Bears.

01:00:23
Speaker 2: Such a fucking loser.

01:00:24
Speaker 1: Bro. I don't know about loser, but such a loser. I'm telling you, I.

01:00:28
Speaker 2: Think about the fucking country bear Jamber.

01:00:33
Speaker 1: Twenty five year old. What's young Hollywood up to these days? Do you know what they're adding to the Bears that sounds like my cat? I don't know. That's a cool right, yes, a really depressing note. I don't know. Maybe laugh.

01:00:58
Speaker 3: There.

01:00:58
Speaker 1: It is Bears the stick with Me.

01:00:59
Speaker 3: I'm Kevin Smith, Harley Quinn Smith.

01:01:02
Speaker 1: Go have a beardless stick with day.

01:01:15
Speaker 7: This has been a podcast production, some podcast podcast using our mouths on you since two thousand and seven. Hey kids, did you like what you just heard? Well, guess what We've got tons more man thousands of hours of podcasts waiting for you at that Kevinsmith club dot com.

01:01:35
Speaker 1: Go sign up now.