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Work and family aren’t two separate lives—they’re one reality. Welcome to Parenting at Work, the podcast exploring the human side of business. Join us for a warm conversation with leaders redefining employee support. Each episode offers stories and strategies for building workplaces that care. This is serious coverage with serious heart.
This podcast is brought to you by Juno, the modern safety net for working families.
Learn more at junokids.com
Candice Chafey_Episode
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Candice Chafey: [00:00:00] Many times people shift organizations and they take their playbook off the shelf and they open it up and they start to use their plays. Well, their plays shouldn't and often don't work. When you go to different companies, the thing is to look at your different playbooks, understand how the organization you're coming into operates.
What are the best methods? What can you pull a page from here, a page from there, or create something new? In order to make that come to life.
Max Tedaldi: Welcome to Parenting At Work, the podcast exploring the real world intersection of family life and the workplace. I'm your host, max Dalley. We're here to dive into real honest conversations with leaders and innovators who are redefining what it means to support families in the workplace.
My hope is that these conversations leave you feeling inspired and equipped to build a more compassionate world at work. Because let's face it, work and family aren't two separate lives. They're one integrated reality. Parenting at Work is brought to you by [00:01:00] Juno, the modern financial safety net for working families.
Max Tedaldi: All right. Hello everyone and welcome to Parenting at Work. I'm honored and so excited to bring you Candace Chaffe. She's a powerhouse in the world of human capital with a reputation for transforming high performance cultures. Currently, she serves as the first ever chief people officer as Zeta Global, a leading.
Datadriven Marketing Technology company. She's a founding member of Troop hr, a national network empowering professionals to drive change. And before that, she spent nearly two decades navigating the high stakes world of finance, serving as Chief People Officer at Bridgewater Associates, um, and Lehman Brothers.
Today she's known for combining strategic vision and a deep commitment to coaching and development. Welcome to Candace, to the podcast. Thanks so much for joining us.
Candice Chafey: Thank you for having me. It's a good topic.
Max Tedaldi: Yes. Uh, I'm super excited to, uh, to dive in and one of the things that I, you know, that [00:02:00] jumped off the page to me is that you're the first chief people officer at Zeta, and I'm really curious about what that blank canvas felt like is it's the first time that you've been the first or sort of inaugural chief people officer, and how does that affect how you approach your role?
Candice Chafey: Good question. The irony I think about my history and my past is that many of the roles that I've done in my career were first evers. I don't know why or how that happened. It just did. I mean, every organization, it was, we are building X and we are looking for somebody to help us do y, and that blank canvas has always been something that.
Either by happenstance or even an implicit desire. Came to fruition, no matter, pretty much almost every single role that I've been in and or moved into as a replacement, to then have more, [00:03:00] you know, my own direction and leadership. And so coming here to Zeta, I think it's a much bigger and broader responsibility in terms of the headcount, the global aperture, the mission, how driven the team is and continues to be to succeed.
And so you're looking at that in, in the lens of what opportunities, but also at the same time, what do the people want? You can't build. I can build anything that I think is appropriate, but that doesn't mean it's right for the people. Many times people shift organizations and they take their playbook off the shelf and they open it up and they start to use their plays.
Well, their plays shouldn't and often don't work. When you go to different companies, the thing is to look at your different playbooks, understand how. The organization you're coming into operates, what are the best methods? What can you pull a page from here, a page from there, or create something new in [00:04:00] order to make that come to life?
So coming to Zeta, hearing what people want, understanding what executive leadership wants, and then how to make that come to life through everything that we do. In addition to what I think actually should also occur needs to be put in there too. You can't build something off of nothing. Yeah. So you have to create what is your infrastructure before you start developing on what it is that you are building.
Max Tedaldi: So, I mean, what you're doing is clearly working. I think that you guys are great places to work, two years running, is that right? So Right. Going from nothing to then, great places to work, two years running, what's the first step? What is the starting point and what are you trying to get to that ultimately makes you guys a great place to work at?
Candice Chafey: So for us at a global scale, the key is connection, right? Anyone who is part of a company, yes, of course they have [00:05:00] their work and they come because they wanna do the work that they are specialized in. What makes something more special is the environment that you do it in. Who are the people that you work with?
How does the company treat you? How can you have transparent conversations? How can you be caring and honest with one another? And when you struggle, the team is there to support you in a way that is obviously productive. And so, you know, coming in here. Very, very supportive culture, very kind, wonderful people.
How do the idea is amplifying, so it's taking that and saying, do you realize these things are true? Do you realize what we are actually about? And essentially looking at it similarly like we do in marketing. This is the campaign. This is who we are, this is, were you aware of this? And it makes that connection and pride come to life.
In a real way that amplifies [00:06:00] what people feel and know to a level at which the world knows and actually has come in and certified a third party that says, yeah, your people do feel that way.
Max Tedaldi: Right. Coming from Bridgewater Associates, which I believe is somewhat famous for having a culture of just radical truth, radical transparency, and then, and then Tota Zeta, how, how much of your previous experience are you looking to come in and say, right, this is a great way to do things.
Or is it more reactive than that? Is it really feeling out the people in the cul, in the culture at Zeta and saying, maybe I need to adjust my approach to react to the people that I'm now working with.
Candice Chafey: Yeah, it's more, more the latter, right? Yeah. Like as I described before, you never want to enforce or impose what any belief system that doesn't exist.
Max Tedaldi: Yeah.
Candice Chafey: You can't move from radical transparency and recordings to an organization that. Like I said, [00:07:00] not to, it's not to be rude to Bridgewater, but certainly more kind in terms of their exchanges. Bridgewater, people were of course, kind, but there's a way to get at things, to get at problems that doesn't always have the same, and when people who can't do that, it's a reaction.
Right? You have psychological reaction to that interaction. And that's why there was a lot of turnover as a result, which is healthy if it's not an environment that works for someone. So moving into a different company. Yeah, there was a a lot of belief systems and principles that I completely agree with that I think work, and I think it's important to have truth and transparency in any company because that's what people want.
It builds trust. How many times has an employee walked away like, oh God, I wonder what my manager's thinking. Like, was I a disaster at that? Like how did that meeting go? Did I, and especially in this hybrid environment where people are at home surrounded by their own four walls, they're by themselves, as opposed to [00:08:00] in the office where you can say like, what'd you think?
How did that go? Having that truth and being comfortable to ask, I think is important and making people. Feel comfortable having that conversation is important. So that's the environment that you need to create and we are down that path of ensuring from a feedback and review standpoint that we are becoming a place that certainly has more conversations around that.
And so it's important for people's growth and development.
Max Tedaldi: I think that's something that's so important too, is that feedback loop and just because you're giving feedback and you can still walk away from feedback and say, I still have no clue how I'm being perceived. Like, am I coming across, am I explaining myself well?
That's really challenging. I think, you know, everyone in their career at some point experiences
Candice Chafey: that is the baseline for imposter syndrome, which is, yeah.
Max Tedaldi: Yes.
Candice Chafey: Statistically, I think they say 60% or more people have some shape or form of it, and that's just getting inside your own head, which. Asking the question you can get right outside of it.
Max Tedaldi: Yeah. I mean, as [00:09:00] someone who is always constantly inside hi his own head, I feel that I understand it and it's hard. And particularly when you have kids, right? And there's something about being able to focus on your home life, focus on your work life, and then all of a sudden when you are. Distracted or you are pulled away.
Those are the moments that I find my sort of imposter syndrome really, really ramping up because I'm like, not only am I an imposter in this situation, but I don't even have the time to devote to all of the things that I would normally, or I'm being pulled in a million different directions and I can't just focus on this one thing and solve this problem.
So I think certainly something that parents deal with. I'm very curious for going from Lehman to Bridgewater to data. How have you seen the benefit landscape evolve, or how have you seen support or families evolve? Are there certain benefits that weren't even really considered 10, 15 years ago that have now become part of the baseline?
Where do you see the industry headed in [00:10:00] general? Well.
Candice Chafey: Everything is different depending on the company. Its beliefs and its approach. You have your value proposition and where you stand of what do you wanna be known for. Some people would say benefits. You take Bridgewater. That said probably benefits was one of their, their biggest accolades.
Mm-hmm. Uh, the CEO of the company believed that you have no. Your health is extremely important, and that's the philosophy that he stood behind. Whereas other companies, the value proposition would be more of a learning environment or, you know, what, what do you want people to take away from your experience?
And so when I think about over the years, obviously financial services has always paved the way of what the trends are given. The environment, the company, the requirements, the work that's involved, the Type A environment. And as a result, how best to keep you productive and see it and we take care of the rest.
Yeah. [00:11:00] Right. So at Lehman there was a lot, because it was all in office. There was a lot of in-person help between your pharmacy right there, your doctor right there. Yeah. Your dry cleaning right there. So that was their proposition of how do I keep you in seat more productive while taking care of putting at your fingertips all of the things that you have to think about on a daily basis.
Like, oh, I need to leave to go. Get my prescription or I have the sniffles and that's all been replaced by things that are online, right? While you don't need it in person anymore, where you don't need physicians on site, you can easily, you know, have all of the benefit offerings at your fingertips at the same time, but virtually.
And so that's been the change. So while the core has always been there. The change is how can you get more done virtually than in person? So having a lot of those programs where you're doing therapy online, you're doing your doctor's appointments online, you're filling your [00:12:00] prescriptions online, and they're being mailed to you.
That's the sort of replacement of what I've seen over the 10, 15 years and the replacement of care for the whole self. I guess is, is how I would put it, that making sure that there's something for everyone no matter what stage in life you're at. So it may not be important to think about, you know, children if you don't have children.
So what's, what's good for kids coming out of school? I hate to say kids, but young adults coming out of school loans, right? So how there's a lot of things that are popping out to help 'em with their loans to help them think about financial planning and supporting them. And that's what, how our approach is in terms of financial planning to help.
To help the youth? Mm-hmm. Do you want to make sure that you're supportive and give them information and knowledge about what that actually means as they start a family? So what's the use case and how are we supporting each use case? And that's the real change. It's not just the assumption, oh, everybody's having a baby, so you give them the [00:13:00] standard, here's your standard.
Leave time and take care. Have good luck, as opposed to. There's a real eye-opener of I'm struggling to have, again, over the last 10, 15 years, I'm struggling to have a baby. How can you help? Or, I'm adopting, how can you help? Or, you know, there's a lot of those situations and scenarios that we now support.
So I think that's that dimension, which is not about age group as opposed to different dimensions of the particular thing.
Max Tedaldi: Yeah. And have you noticed over the course of the past few years what families, and you know, specifically what parents are looking for within a benefit and, you know, within a company culture?
You know, I'm, I'm curious what, from your perspective, how, how that's evolved and specifically what you know, what are parents asking for?
Candice Chafey: Flexibility.
Max Tedaldi: Yeah. Yeah. Always, always, always.
Candice Chafey: You know, there's, you know, parents and not parents. I think flexibility is, is the, the number [00:14:00] one thing. But there's flexibility, but there's, there's, there's support.
You know, that general kind human to human. Support, right. Parents who have lost children and how no matter what, there's always the how do we take care of of that person and their family.
Max Tedaldi: Yeah.
Candice Chafey: And what could we do to go out of our way to make sure that that is true? And it's not about a pat on the back.
It's not about, Hey, this is. A publicized benefit, but it's a real way that your company culture
Max Tedaldi: Yeah.
Candice Chafey: Should want to be. Mm-hmm. Um, and should, you know, and, and should be.
Max Tedaldi: Yeah. Are you designing around that? Are you being sort of proactive in your approach? Is it, is it more, you know, reactive from a, from a culture standpoint?
I'm, I'm curious about your philosophy there.
Candice Chafey: Yeah, it is as proactive as possible in the sense that I go back to listening, to hearing, to understanding. And [00:15:00] everyone who's ever worked for me, who continues to work for me, my usual thing is I had an idea last night. They're like, oh God, what is it? You know, what do I need to do now?
Or what's our next step? And you know, my personal philosophy is, you know, you can't just live every day. Like you're, you know, you're on the train and you're, you got your blinders on and you're just gonna go into your work. It's more dynamic than that, you know? Yeah. You gotta learn from your environment, learn from your teams, learn from your peers, learn from what is not, that all articles are great.
I don't necessarily agree with all of them, but what are you actually getting from it? And from the conversation that ensues that says, Hmm, that that's not really great for us, or that would be spot on for us. So I think it's always learning, always evolving. Yeah. And always making sure that you are checking, yeah.
Is this, is this the right thing for us? And not just assuming.
Max Tedaldi: That feels like such a healthy attitude to me. Right. Is the constant checking. Checking in with your team, checking in with yourself, and checking your assumptions. [00:16:00] Right. I think that particularly for those of us that get into a routine, it's super easy to start making all of these assumptions.
I, I'm curious about, about work-life balance. I'm curious about how having a family, having, having kids, being a parent, how has that affected your approach to your work? Right. And are there things about being a parent that you've brought into the, the workplace or are there things from the workplace that you've brought into into your home life?
Candice Chafey: Hmm, my goodness. Work life balance. We'll start there.
Max Tedaldi: Yeah. Great.
Candice Chafey: I don't think there's such a thing as work-life balance. I do think that there has to be a level of give and take. Okay. And when I say things, everything, because there's more roles that we play, we also play. Daughters and sons. We also play brothers and sisters.
There's a lot of things that we play back and forth in terms of the roles, our role transitions, which are sometimes very difficult. So I would consider it more life balance. How are you thinking about [00:17:00] the aspects of your life and how can you try to the best of your ability to meet the needs that transcend basically, uh, 24 7?
Best way I can put it is as try to be as planful as possible. It's the only way to sort of keep some of the sanity and you're not gonna get everything and you're gonna miss some things, and hopefully you have great partnership. Yeah, to help with the gaps and help with, especially with four schools. Four different notifications going to inbox about every tiny detail that's going on from fundraisers to your son's in trouble, to absences, to grades, everything.
And so I think it's, like I said, the approach is trying to keep sanity. Which is first and foremost, I think, I do believe, I'm not a devout Christian, but I do believe that you wouldn't get anything put on your plate that you can't handle. Mm-hmm. I do have that philosophy, and I keep that [00:18:00] as a general mantra, which is I'm only human.
I try to meet the demands that I can across the board, and then sometimes I just have to make my kids feel guilty about it.
Max Tedaldi: Per perfect. Yeah. Lay on the guilt. I think that's just effective parenting.
Candice Chafey: Like how can you do this to your mother? Yes.
Max Tedaldi: Yes.
Candice Chafey: So that's my favorite part. They know I play that well.
They often make fun of me on a lot of things. I'm a doctor, I'm this, I'm that. They're a therapist. Like they're
Max Tedaldi: right,
Candice Chafey: they soccer coach,
Max Tedaldi: therapist. But
Candice Chafey: my, you're the professional. I think that it's hard to go from bringing work aspects into parenting. Looking at Bridgewater being unique, I think that was probably more applicable in the sense of trying to get at what the actual problem is.
Bridgewater had great techniques. Right? And so I would def, I think every bridge broader person who probably listens to this recording would get a kick out of it. 'cause we know at some point or another you're asking the questions that sometimes as a parent you don't. Mm-hmm. The [00:19:00] patient's for, or you just jump to a conclusion as opposed to asking the proper questions and trying to get at how can I get at their level?
And sometimes, yeah, maybe it's just hormonal, but really. Trying to be them and have that empathy of saying like, yeah, I know it's hard. I know you don't know exactly what's going on, but you feel a certain way in order to help them. Yes, you still might be in trouble, but let me help you navigate the situation.
Like you shouldn't have done that, but let's have the conversation about if presented again. What else would you do differently and how can you be more of a leader and how can you, you know, be more independent and thoughtful and say, yeah, that's not for me. I'm not gonna partake in this ridiculous.
Boyish prank.
Max Tedaldi: Yeah.
Candice Chafey: Obviously I'm talking about a situation and then into, into work. Of course, you know, children, adults are children at certain ages and stages to a certain extent. We're always learning. We have to always learn about ourselves. Nobody's perfect. And so how do [00:20:00] you have the same level of patience with someone who they don't see something that you see?
So it's the same application. How can I show you the thing that I'm seeing? How can I open your eyes up to, to this perspective? Especially when they're struggling or having challenges.
Max Tedaldi: Yeah,
Candice Chafey: they like all this, the work is great. They believe, you know, there's a certain, let help you see it from a different lens.
Let a different perspective. Could it be that perhaps there's multiple ways to solving this or looking at the situation and letting them sort of ruminate to let them come up with the answer instead of you telling them the answer? Right. Yeah. That's like going back to feedback. You don't always have to say, Hey, this is exactly how it should go.
You're not doing it that way, as opposed to, how do you think this is going?
Max Tedaldi: Yeah, I think that's been one of my biggest takeaways as a parent. It's, you know, no one has the answers, and more often than not, you will have, you'll be drawing a blank. And in that moment, just start asking questions. [00:21:00] Exactly. Um, I don't know, pal.
Like, I, why, why do you think the universe was started? It's. It's, you know, just throw it right back at them. I can tell you my son was not super keen on me trying to apply an Atomic Habits framework to him. You know, really starting to learn how to brush his teeth regularly. But we're working on it and we'll see where we land.
Candice Chafey: I love it. I mean, it is rough. It's hard,
Max Tedaldi: it's, yeah. I'm curious if you have one story, one moment where you felt your worlds collide, where you felt like you had to bring an element of your home life, your personal life, your parenting life into work, or vice versa. I tend to think that the parenting and family and home life that showing up at work is, is more interesting and how to handle it, and
Candice Chafey: for sure
Max Tedaldi: what you're thinking about in those moments.
If there's anything that comes to mind for you,
Candice Chafey: every day is a challenge and it brings, you know, depending on what's going on at home or, or what's needed, doesn't mean [00:22:00] that the school's not gonna call for something and take you away. I would say those are the easy ones. 'cause it's clear or somebody got hurt, they need to go get stitches, right?
Like that's just a straightforward. I gotta go and you just need to deal with that. I think the harder part is more of the psychology or something that's very hurtful or hard where your mind is distracted. So I think that's the bigger, the bigger part of it of how to, to handle that. And so the one that stood out, I think stands out to me the most is after my first baby was born.
It's your first child. I mean, everybody says that you should know. You know, like your, your instinct is gonna kick in. It's like easy from there.
Max Tedaldi: That's a crazy assumption. You're gonna handle it, it's gonna be great. Uh, it's gonna
Candice Chafey: be great.
Max Tedaldi: Come so naturally. Oh God,
Candice Chafey: so much love. Yeah. So at the time, and I, I just, you know, when you reflect back and.
[00:23:00] All these preconceived notions of what you should be and what it should be and how you should feel are essentially prewritten and, yeah,
Max Tedaldi: yeah.
Candice Chafey: When you don't, it becomes a, what's wrong with me and how do I deal with that situation? And so I experienced postpartum for sure, um, depression, and I pretended that I didn't.
They have you fill out questionnaires of like, can you laugh? Of course I can laugh. Anybody can laugh at anything. But that doesn't mean that I wanna cry a lot of the day. Right. So I filled out the questionnaire. Of course I can laugh, I see joy in things. Yes. And then I didn't say the other parts.
Max Tedaldi: Yeah.
Candice Chafey: Is that the questionnaire was kind of silly as opposed to why don't you just engage in a conversation and then tell me what you think.
I'm not part of that, that, that world, so I can't lean in. So it was emotional rollercoaster for me. Mm-hmm. And you know, I told myself that the best thing is just keep it moving. You know, you have a new child, you don't exactly know what you're doing. You're learning and you're learning. Pretty [00:24:00] much alone because you're on maternity leave.
You gotta navigate it. So getting ready to go back to work, we hired a nanny. We thought that was more the responsible thing to do versus daycare, which is a bunch of little kids, which seemed overwhelming. It's like one person to five. It's like, that's wild. So it was more of a painful experience for me because we had to end up firing her.
Use. We saw how she used the phone, you know, this is going back for cell phone. I'm just kidding. But there's definitely not, maybe not everyone had a cell phone back then, but our house phone, you know, the internet we saw the hours. We saw, you know, she would use our kitchen for baking for home and, and it came to a point where, you know, we came to the realization that she had hit him on the head.
Of course by accident, but it was just part of negligence 'cause she was distracted. And so it's, you know, this, it was so difficult because here you are, you know, leaving so you can get upset this
Max Tedaldi: little, yeah.
Candice Chafey: And when you brought in your home [00:25:00] with a stranger, right? Yeah. And then it was a breaking point because you'd say to yourself like, am I doing the right thing here?
I am going back to work. Should I not? We made this choice. How are we doing this? Is that fair to him? And you feel like you failed? He failed as a parent and as someone who the stack of what you're supposed to be responsible for has been pre-written. And so at this point, you're just comparing it to that mental map and it becomes this.
Difficult situation where you're second guessing everything yourself. What are you doing? And then how do you still focus every day at work when you're thinking this way? Yes. That's, I mean, the psychology of it.
Max Tedaldi: I, so, I so get that. Yeah.
Candice Chafey: And you know, that was a, that was a very difficult, you know, just when I thought I got the swing of it before going back to maternity leave, and I would say that, that then this happened and it was just another, another blast.
Yeah. And so. When I think back to the policies and the support, you know. What I believe could have [00:26:00] been beneficial at the time. We also didn't have maternity leave, so you needed to sort of create the space for your own leave. Mm-hmm. Uh, which is what I did. You know, you gotta plan it out and figure it out, but also transition, right?
There's no thought to transition of what it means to get back in the game. What it means to then juggle. Because now you gotta figure out your schedule and you gotta figure out who's doing what and when and how, and what are the work demands, what are the home demands? And it's funny as you look back, because now with four, it's just, it seems so trivial.
And that's the thing that I think as professionals too, that I can look back and tell new mothers that I work with today, like, everything's gonna be okay. And I'm like, Ugh. Who says that? Right? That's what they said. Yeah. It's
Max Tedaldi: in that moment, it doesn't feel like it's gonna be okay. It doesn't, right.
Candice Chafey: You gotta remember that.
You gotta go back, you gotta put yourself back into that position and you gotta be helpful and honest with them and supportive of what they need. Because everybody [00:27:00] experiences everything differently. They might not have family support. It's not that I had a ton of family support at the time that the people lived in different places.
So again, being alone, hoping to God the sun wasn't gonna go down. It's just one of those things in the moment, you know that everybody's gonna feel something different as they go to make that transition and being there to support them, I think is critical.
Max Tedaldi: Yeah, I'm picking up a lot of themes of listening, of empathy, of trying to be as proactive as possible, but then also reactive in the moments in ways that you can support your people and your family as well.
Yes. And so I, I'm gonna ask you an impossible question, which is, you know, if there's one thing that you would share with other people and benefits leaders. That sort of guides your philosophy that you'd want to impart on them both as an employee, as a leader, but then also as a mother. I, I recognize how difficult that is.
Is this, you know, to sum up your life, sum up your philosophy. [00:28:00] Um,
Candice Chafey: to be specific, as you've already stated, I have four children and saying it plainly, it's not easy. And it sounds funny because I don't feel super old when you say the matriarch, but it's not easy to be the matriarch of a family. Right, especially while you're carrying demands of a career, it's just inherent where your children turns to mom.
It's just always the first use case Every day. My cell phone goes off approximately in about a little less than an hour here, and it will come from all of them. I wanna do this, I wanna do that. Can I do this? Can you give me that? Like it's just. It's just what? It's just what happens. I'm just thankful the 6-year-old is not at that stage at this point, and so not
Max Tedaldi: a lot because I'm, I'm over 40 and I still call my mom every day.
So
Candice Chafey: every morning, same here. I think my challenge is to other leaders who are parents. I think the big thing is to stay grounded. I think keeping perspective is critical [00:29:00] and, and don't ever forget that first experience so that you can empathize. Everybody else who has to do the same, go through the same thing.
And again, not the same but their version of it. And so what you felt at the time, what you needed, what you didn't get, what might have been missing. It's just don't lose yourself along the way. I think it's easy to rationalize that it's just how it is. Everybody's done. There's million years before us gonna be a million, hopefully a million years after us.
That shouldn't be the mindset. You can make a difference in each person's lives, just 'cause it wasn't the way that you hoped it would be, or the way that you needed. It doesn't mean it has to be true for others. And so I think that we, you know, people can often lose yourself, so storytelling is powerful.
Max Tedaldi: Yes.
Candice Chafey: So I think that using your story, helping them along and building something better because of it, I think is super [00:30:00] powerful.
Max Tedaldi: Candace, thank you so much for joining us on Parenting at Work. We so appreciate having you. And I think for those listening for both employees and employers, I think one of my favorite takeaways from this conversation is adjusting, questioning yourself and really listening.
And I think those two things go hand in hand so well of, you know. Thinking about your yourself, how you're showing up, what assumptions are you making, and then, you know, really reacting and thinking about the way that you're communicating with the people around you. And I think, you know, together we can all we're, if we're communicating, we can usually figure things out, particularly when things get hard.
So can, thank you so much for, for joining us.
Candice Chafey: Can I say one more tidbit?
Max Tedaldi: Yes. Always,
Candice Chafey: always. Only because I think it was probably the best advice that I've ever received. Okay. It was my children's kin, well, the first three, their kindergarten teacher who has now passed.
Max Tedaldi: Okay.
Candice Chafey: And it would be every morning, like coming to her room, feeling chaos.
It's your first child again, [00:31:00] going back to the first, 'cause the first is always your learning ground. Yeah. And you know, she's like, listen, you're all they know.
Max Tedaldi: Yeah,
Candice Chafey: you're all that they know. That's
Max Tedaldi: it.
Candice Chafey: Yeah. And they'll, and they love you for it. There's no other comparisons. It's that unconditional piece that you didn't realize or don't attach to.
Max Tedaldi: It's wild to think that you know how much you take for granted of your, you know, acquired experience over the course of your life, and then you've got these little beautiful idiots. They're trying to make sense of everything. Yes. And you're the main input on 'em.
Candice Chafey: Exactly. And that's perfection for them. Do you know what I mean?
Yeah,
Max Tedaldi: of course. Yeah. And it's, it actually reminds me a little bit of the best advice that I ever got. I don't even know if it's advice, more philosophy, but you know, growing up, my dad would have like one beer every night at dinner and he always mixed it up. He was never consistent with it. And I'd always ask him, how, what's your favorite beer?
What have you tried? What do you like? And always the same answer. My favorite beer is the beer I'm drinking. Yes, you can read into some [00:32:00] themes of how much are you enjoying the alcohol. But no, he was always very re reasonable. But it's true, that's another part of it, right? It's looking for the things in your life that you can enjoy.
Yeah. Um, and you can look at the problems in your family and you can enjoy it or you can think about what could be which. And I feel like sort of like the thief of happiness sometimes. Yeah. We're off the rails here, but
Candice Chafey: I get the point though. It's also home is where your family is. It's not about anything else.
So. I think that's a good correlation.
Max Tedaldi: Cool. Thanks for joining us. Can.
Max Tedaldi: Thanks for joining us on Parenting at Work. If you enjoyed this conversation, please make sure to follow Parenting at Work wherever you get your podcasts. And if this story resonated with you, the single most impactful thing you can do is share it with one other person, a fellow HR leader.
A manager or anyone who believes in building workplaces that care. Parenting at Work is brought to you by Juno, the modern financial safety net for working families. Juno helps employers offer affordable, [00:33:00] impactful, long-term financial coverage for children, diagnosed with a new, severe illness or disability, giving parents peace of mind and flexibility when it matters most.
You can learn more about how Juno is helping companies build family first benefits@junokids.com. I am Max. Thanks for listening. And now let's get back to work.