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Welcome to Flip the Script with Vic, your weekly pep talk to expand and shift your perspective. I’m your host, Victoria Nielsen. Together, we’ll unwind all the things you thought you knew, and awaken to what’s truly possible when you flip the script on your reality and take control of your own life.
Speaker A [00:00:00]:
Hello, loves. Welcome to another episode of flip the script with Vic. It's your host, Victoria Nielsen. You guys know that we are real and authentic on this podcast, and that I like to share things as they're happening in my life so that you guys can get a true perspective of what's. Yeah. Going on from human to human, from mother to mother, from healer to healer, and to hopefully normalize all of the things that we go through as part of the human experience. Because nothing is ever good forever, and nothing is ever bad forever. And I'm in a moment of.
Speaker A [00:00:40]:
I don't want to say bad, but I completely lost my shit on my two kids this morning in a way that I haven't in a really long time. And I'm feeling super guilty, as one does afterwards because it's not their fault that I've got all of this rage inside of me. It's not their fault that I can get overstimulated. And it's not their fault that we are trying to juggle full time jobs with them out of school these last couple of weeks. And it's actually been a really great summer. We've done so much. But I. Today just was at my wits end, starting first thing in the morning.
Speaker A [00:01:23]:
And I'm sharing all of this because, yes, I do my kundalini yoga, you know, every day. Yes, I have my grounding practices, and I use my sound bowls. And you can have all of the tools in the world, and you're still gonna have bad days. You're still gonna have days where you feel yucky, where you spew your shit on everyone around you. And obviously, the goal is to have less of these days. Right. But it doesn't mean that they don't happen, and it doesn't mean that you're not gonna feel remorse afterwards or. Yeah, you probably feel even worse, honestly, as a conscious mom, because, you know, right, all the ways that you're fucking up your kids and, you know, all the ways that you should be doing better or that you can calm yourself.
Speaker A [00:02:13]:
And sometimes you. Your cup is just so full that one little thing is what's going to cause it to explode over, no matter what that one little thing is. And I want to remind you that no matter how often you refill this cup, as a mom, your energy is going to be different every single day. So some days, the meditation that you have in the morning, that's like, five minutes, might be perfect and might allow you to really cruise and ride the waves all day. Some days that meditation is actually going to be the catalyst for you to be overflowing with emotions and overflowing from that really full cup. And I think this doesn't get talked about enough, especially if you are a practitioner of Kundalini yoga. Kundalini yoga is the yoga of awareness, so it's working with your subconscious mind to literally bring the shit up and out. And I had not been practicing super consistently until these last couple of days, and it's no wonder I had a complete meltdown and, like, break this morning because all of that energy has to go somewhere.
Speaker A [00:03:23]:
Right. And I'm on the inner autumn phase of my cycle, which is also a time when you are reviewing and releasing. We just had a full moon in Capricorn, like, at any given time, right. There's something going on, whether it's in the cosmos, it's in your environment, or. Yeah, you just energetically are clogged and taking on too much. Like, it happens. No matter how good you are at your energetic hygiene, at your sovereignty, at your habits, like, it's kind of inevitable. And I just want to share that today in case this is what you're going through, too, so that you know that it's normal and you know that it's okay and that you are doing okay and you are a good mom and you know your kids are gonna get fucked up anyway, so it's more about what you do to repair afterwards.
Speaker A [00:04:16]:
So I was having, like, a complete meltdown on the stairs and wanted none of my children to touch me. I was trying to write a work email and of course what I should have done was just waited until my husband came home so that I could focus solely on this work email and not worry about trying to also juggle the kids. But it was what it was, and so my littlest was, like, begging for milk, wouldn't stop touching me. I was all touched out of and I just said, you know what, I need to take a reset. So I used language that I use with my kids when they are having really big emotions. And I put myself in, like, a reset timeout on the stairs, and my little one didn't leave me alone, but my oldest actually came over and gave me a hug and was, like, really trying to be supportive. And it surprised me that in this moment of rock bottom, they came over to comfort me and I let him know that I wasn't upset because of him, that this wasn't anything that he did, but that I really appreciated that he came over to check on me. And so in that moment, right, I feel like maybe I'm doing something right as a mom, even though it feels like a lot of what happened this morning was, like, not good and me completely fucking up.
Speaker A [00:05:30]:
And that's another, I feel, like, common feeling for moms, especially moms going through spiritual awakenings on spiritual and healing journeys is you kind of feel like you're constantly fucking up. And I. That to me, is actually the sign of a good mom because you care. And I wish I had, like, a magic wand to tell you that everything's fine and it's going to be all good and it's going to get better. But this is earth, and this is Earth school, and there are lessons that you are meant to be learning, and these things are coming up for your greatest good, even if in the moment they feel like complete and total shit. And now that my body has calmed down a little bit, what I'm realizing is, like, I should probably take a mental health day today. I should not go into the office. I should cancel all the things on my calendar that I can, and I should focus on myself because with the kids home and with us traveling, I have not been able to do that.
Speaker A [00:06:22]:
And yes, I relaxed, you know, on vacation. Quote, I, you can't see me, but I'm using air quotes for vacation because we went and saw family last week, which, as most of you probably know, when you go to visit family, it's not really a vacation. And it was a great time and nothing wrong happened, per se. But obviously, I have not given myself enough time to myself to process the things that have been happening, like, in the cosmos and in my life and in my energetic and subtle bodies. And so the universe has that way of showing you right where you need to take a closer look or you need to take a step back, or you need to just slow down and relax. And, you know, I think a lot of us, right, want to get to the why of why is this happening? And I just want to use this time to remind you that sometimes there isn't a deeper reason. And that's okay. Sometimes you just feel the emotions that you feel.
Speaker A [00:07:22]:
Sometimes you just feel overstimulated. You just feel angry. You just feel upset. That's okay. You don't need to explain yourself. You don't need any other reason to be upset then just because you are. And I feel like that's a big rewriting for females because, you know, I personally have always been told that I'm too emotional and too much and too over the top. And I can see myself reflecting that sometimes to my kids and you know, they're having temper tantrums.
Speaker A [00:07:54]:
And I. And I say the word enough, you know, really loudly. And I know that came from my childhood, and I know that it's programming that I am working to rewrite, but I'm not going to get it right 100% of the time. And I have to give myself grace and permission because I'm human and I'm not perfect, and I'm not a robot that can just make this adjustment and have that be the new algorithm that I run. Every time. You've got to practice this new behavior. And even if you practice it every day for 100 days, chances of you fucking it up again at some point are likely. And that is okay.
Speaker A [00:08:35]:
You know, I think we talk about being on the spiritual path, and it's like, oh, it's all love and light. No, it's not. There's a lot underneath. And this reprogramming is hard. This re patterning is hard, especially as a mom, because you can see how these things play out with your kids. And then, of course, you get two in your head about how this is going to mess them up and this and that. But if you zoom out and think of the bigger picture, these children chose you for a reason. And so there are lessons that you were meant to learn, but there are also lessons that they are meant to learn.
Speaker A [00:09:07]:
So maybe that's part of this. And no, I'm not condoning, like, losing your shit on your kids or yelling at them or anything like that, but can you reframe what's happened and say, maybe there's a part of this that is a lesson for them, too? And can you see the bigger picture of it all together instead of zooming in on that one moment and that one fuck up and thinking that it's like the end all be all right? And again, when you begin to notice that these things are happening, you can begin to change the behavior. But that's not what we're talking about today. What we're talking about today is just acknowledging that being in the shit is okay and that you're doing an amazing job, mama. And even if you don't have kids, but you're resonating with this overflow message or this, you know, triggered message of your cup being too full and then something triggering you your. But your body and your surroundings are always trying to talk to you, and you can just take that as input that something needs to change or something needs to shift. And it doesn't mean that you need to do something about it right away. I think sometimes we can intellectualize our healing where we know the right thing to do, right? And we're just like, oh, okay, we'll do better next time.
Speaker A [00:10:26]:
We'll use our minds to, to get out of the situation or to fix this in the future. But you cannot change anything from the energy that created it. So to say that again, you cannot change a situation or a pattern from the same energy or frequency that created that habit or that pattern or that situation. And today, I am still too much in the energy to try and change the pattern. Okay? I am still feeling way too much. I can still, like, tell that my cup is way too full. And even if I am taking a reset or take some time to go meditate or some time to myself, just taking 30 minutes or an hour is not going to be enough. Today, I am still going to be way too full.
Speaker A [00:11:20]:
And so I've already told my husband we're, we're switching off. Like, he's got the kids the rest of the day. And I'm probably going to take a mental health day from my corporate job because this is the space that I need to process whatever is rising within me. And there doesn't need to be a reason for something rising within me. It just is. And this is what's happening. And so this is how I'm going to handle it today and in the future when I have more energetic capacity, it could be a day that I change the behavior. It could be a day that I work through whatever this trigger is, but that day is not today.
Speaker A [00:11:54]:
And I just want to remind you that just because you're brought the awareness of something being an issue, you don't have to fix it immediately. I know that sounds like so counterintuitive to a lot of what I talk about, but it's true. There is no magic pill to fix things. And I think sometimes we're like, okay, we've got all the practices, like, let me just do all the things and it will get better. Time is also a factor in everything that you do. And sometimes you just need time to move through it, and that's what's going to get you through to the other side. It's not going to be another meditation. It's not going to be another reset, another quick walk around the block.
Speaker A [00:12:40]:
Like it's going to be time because something is so deeply entrenched in your energy and your vibration. Like it's a. It's a really rooted behavior. And so approaching it with gentleness and with compassion and approaching yourself with gentleness and compassion is far more important than trying to, quote unquote, fix yourself, because truly you are not broken. You are just repeating habits and patterns that have been projected upon you or that you learned because at some point in your life it made you feel safe or it created more safety for you. And now it's nothing. And it's going to take some time to unravel that. It's going to take some time to unwind that.
Speaker A [00:13:21]:
And that is okay. Okay. Can we let the mantra of this episode be, let it be okay? Whatever you're facing right now, can we let it be okay? Can we not try and immediately need to fix it or change it? Can we not try to put ourselves down or wallow or any of those things? Can we let it be okay? Can I show myself some radical love by letting it be okay that I lost my shit on my kids this morning? Letting it be okay in this moment, knowing that I'm going to do everything I can to repair the relationship? Of course I'm going to continue working on myself and whatever is triggering this eruption within me. But can in this moment, it be okay? And can it also serve as a reminder that this work shakes shit up? Okay. And as a conscious mom, especially, even if I don't have these moments all the time, they're normal to have them some of the time. Right? And I think part of why I do feel a bit frustrated is because it has been so long since something like this has happened. I have felt really good and have felt better able to control these outbursts and what have you. I've been better able to manage my own life.
Speaker A [00:14:42]:
But, you know, it is life where unexpected things come up and unexpected things happen. And so today was one of those days. So if you're out there listening, if you are in the trenches, too, if you're going through it, I'm here with you, and you're not alone. And you're doing amazing. You're doing absolutely, absolutely amazing. So I think that's what I got for you this week, guys. Just sharing what's happening in real time in my life, what I'm doing to support myself. Yeah.
Speaker A [00:15:12]:
And how sometimes you got to give yourself a break, that pushing through the healing hamster wheel or trying to think your way through healing just doesn't work. You got to let it unfold, and you got to give yourself time. So that's it, friends. That's what I've got. If you were in Atlanta, I am teaching Sunday, August 25 of dirty south yoga fest. We're doing Kundalini yoga at 10:00 a.m. early bird tickets are still available for the next couple of days. You can come for the whole weekend or just for the day.
Speaker A [00:15:51]:
And I'm also co hosting a beautiful micro retreat experience here on November 3 that's also a Sunday. So if you are psilocybin curious or interested in just meeting other women who are on the healing path who are interested in learning about plant medicine, we'll have a make your own t bar, some yummy noshes, and I'll be leading a somatic experience and sound bath. All the information that you need for both experiences will be in the show notes. Please continue to like, rate, subscribe, review the podcast, and let me know on Instagram etoriamargonealson how you are liking these conversations. What is coming up from you? What is on your heart? I love hearing from you guys that something that I've chatted about resonates because we're all just moving through this human experience together, right? And I think it just helps to know that we're not alone and that whatever you are navigating is totally normal. So here's to the journey. Be good to one another. I love you guys.
Speaker A [00:16:53]:
I'll see you next week.