Her Wild Side combines hockey knowledge with a side of vibe checks. The weekly show will have game breakdowns, any topical news about the MN Wild, and fun things going on surrounding Wild's social media. This show aims to be informative while also sparking good conversation about the Wild and hockey in general without having to keep everything serious.
Hello,
welcome to Herb Wildside Hockey Podcast.
I am your hostess, Miki,
and as you can see,
this is not a typical episode.
I'm going to tell you right
now that there is going to
be swearing in this podcast.
There is going to be talk
about rape culture and sexual assault.
And so I completely
understand if that is not okay with you,
something you don't want to listen to.
But it is an important issue
in professional hockey.
So if you can,
I'd love you to stick around
and listen to what I have to say.
Because like I said, as you can see,
I don't even have the green screen up.
I literally was just like,
I kicked my husband out of
his office and I was like,
I need to record something right now.
Because... Okay, well, we'll get into...
I'm trying to just organize
all my thoughts because
usually I have a whole page.
You can't see what I've written,
but it's butterfly shape.
Usually I have a whole page
of notes about different
things I want to talk about.
Today I literally have a
sticky note shaped like a butterfly.
It's got like five things on it.
And I'll actually say that
kind of this whole thing, oddly enough,
started off outside,
somewhat outside of the NHL
space where I...
decided to.
Sometimes I like to take on
the trolls just because I
think it's funny.
I decided to wade into the
argument about trans
athletes and specifically in hockey,
which is funny because
there have been trans
athletes in previous
iterations of women's
professional hockey.
And it was never a big deal.
But anyway,
so I was already kind of in my
ranty stage and
Because I was going up against TERFs,
trans-exclusive radical feminists,
who are not correct.
They're not right.
They do not have good talking points.
They do not know what
they're talking about.
And they will not argue in good faith.
So I was having a little fun with that.
Okay,
let's just say that's where this all
started.
Now...
Like I said,
if you would like if you don't
want to listen to this, that's fine.
I am going to put on our
quick ESPN plus commercial
that gives you a chance to
kind of decide if you want
to shut it off or if you want to stay.
Stick around and listen to a
discussion of something
very important that we need
to figure out what to do about.
So stick around or, you know,
in the next minute you can decide.
Thank you for watching the show.
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okay welcome back let me
make very clear that these
are my viewpoints okay um
yes I'm affiliated with
other things other uh the
podcast network these are
my my ideas and my things
that I have to say my
viewpoints hockey culture now
When I think of a culture,
I like to think of the positive aspects.
Now, obviously,
I'm thinking more about
countries or ethnicities
and maybe art that
surrounds it or food or customs.
And I hate that it is kind
of co-opted in the honky
world to mean rich white
boys can do whatever they want,
specifically sexual assault.
Because that's kind of what it's used for.
It's always, oh, well,
it's just hockey culture.
Hockey culture right now
equals rape culture.
And I don't know why people
are OK with that.
Not only OK with that,
but unwilling to try to
change it and unwilling to
admit if they make a mistake.
Here's the thing.
We all kind of grow up, you know,
remember when you were back
in middle school or high
school and even in college,
I think about jokes that I
made or jokes that I laughed at,
things that I thought were funny.
And I cringe now as an adult
because I have done the
work to realize that it wasn't funny.
And while I can cringe all I want,
you know, I didn't know,
but then I learned.
So I do better.
Now,
that's what we need to do here in the
hockey culture at large,
not just the NHL.
Unfortunately,
the NHL is just where it has
the biggest platform and so
therefore is spread the most.
What we need to do, I get it, yep,
here that was part of the culture,
but we need to learn more and do better.
So if you are not on social media,
you're going to be like, wow,
what is happening?
Where did this come from?
Like, did Nikki go cuckoo?
I'm always cuckoo, just so you know.
I'm reluctant to describe
what the picture actually was.
But let's just say that it
was about two teams that
are playing in the playoffs
against each other.
And someone had to sit and
feed this all into an AI
machine to make this picture.
And this was a very specific picture.
It was two bears, a Bruins bear,
and then a Maple Leafs bear, who,
I may add,
was wearing a dress and kind of
high heels.
So it was made to be feminine.
And the feminine bear was
being violated by the Bruins bear.
And the one being violated was crying.
And people have thought this is funny.
And they have shared it.
And the worst part is when
people came in and said, hey, hold on,
this is not funny.
This is not a joke.
You should not.
There are other ways to
express the playoffs and
how the Bruins and the
Leafs are doing versus each other.
There are many other jokes
that would be much funnier
if someone put the time and
the effort into it,
as they did with this picture.
And instead of learning from it,
they double down.
I don't see anything wrong with it.
It's lowbrow humor.
Except it is not.
You know what?
Lowbrow humor?
Okay.
You know what?
Go on with a poop joke or something.
That's lowbrow humor.
A fart joke.
That's lowbrow humor.
A rape joke?
That's just fucking disgusting.
I don't see anything wrong with it.
You know what?
Here's the thing.
You might not.
You might think it is so funny.
I guarantee that you have
women in your life.
who have been sexually assaulted or raped.
And they see you thinking it's funny.
And you'll say, well,
I don't know anyone like that.
Can I tell you how many
women this has happened to
that do not share it with
people or share it with very few people?
Because there is such a stigma around it.
If they see you laughing at it,
do you think they're going
to share with you, hey, by the way,
one time I was raped?
No.
If you think it's funny,
you are now not a safe
person to share things like that with.
And you should feel ashamed of that.
Here's the thing,
instead of sitting here and
getting confrontational
because people are going to
listen to this, watch this,
they already have on social
media and they're going to
confrontational,
they're going to get angry.
And I get it.
You know, everyone wants to save face,
right?
The correct thing for you to
do is to stop and look
inward at yourself.
And do a little bit of work
about why you would think this is funny.
Now, this instance...
It was not made by the
person who shared it with
the highest reach.
I'm trying not to use names here.
I don't want to use names here.
But the person who used it
is a very high level professional,
which I would say is debatable.
Hockey personality.
With a very,
very large platform on social media.
And as far as I have seen.
After sharing this with the
uproar has done absolutely
nothing to even address it.
They posted it and they just
went right on by, they don't even care.
And that's, again, disgusting.
If you have one of the biggest platforms,
not only for adults, but also children.
Young,
young hockey players listen and
watch this media.
And they're going to think this is OK.
And this plays into the
whole culture at large,
because when it is made
into a joke and it seems to
be an OK thing to joke about.
That's just what they're going to know.
They're going to see someone
that they idolize,
that they think is cool, that they follow,
they like, they think it's funny.
And then, oh, well,
they think rape is okay to joke about.
So it's no problem if I do.
And guess what?
When rape is made into a joke,
then it has this level,
this foundation of rape is okay.
And people are right away.
No, that's not what it means.
That is not.
Yes.
When you make something into a joke,
that means that it is not a
serious topic anymore to you.
And that means that you are
OK ignoring it.
Therefore, making it OK.
For specifically hockey players, because,
again,
usually they are going to be higher class,
middle class white men who already.
have privilege and they are
going to just think it's OK.
Look at the different world junior teams.
Look at the hazing on
different teams all the way
down to like high school teams.
It's not OK.
None of it is OK.
And we need to call it out.
Now, unfortunately,
people that do try to call it out,
such as me.
many of my friends on social media,
we are simply slapped down
in the worst ways.
I mean, always people that just,
they do not give a shit.
And they are simply there to troll.
And guess, like I said earlier,
you know what?
I will troll a bigot all day, every day.
If you are a hateful person,
I'm okay saying, making jokes to you.
This is different.
This is making victims into the joke.
People who did not welcome
this into their life,
it was not a decision they
made to get raped or to be
sexually assaulted.
And you're making them into a joke.
Now, this was already bad enough, right?
uproar, people going crazy,
disgusting trolls just
there to try and needle
people who are already taking a stand.
And then last night.
The Tampa Bay Lightning lost their series,
they're out of the playoffs,
they're done with the season.
And the coach.
In the final,
like his interview afterwards.
made I mean it was I don't
even know how to describe
this he's talking about
there were two three
different goal calls that
were called back um goalie
interference I don't know
like it was if you didn't
watch it was a whole thing
anyway and he was making
very good points they would
ask him about that he was
making points about what he
thought about the goalie
interference having goals
called back especially in
such a game that was so
close and had such ramifications
But then all of a sudden, out of nowhere,
basically, he says,
might as well put skirts on them.
As in the goalies.
What the fuck does that even mean?
The only reason this was
funny was that somehow...
They were women like I don't understand.
It literally made no sense.
It felt like one of those, you know,
sometimes you'll see where
they like in training camp,
you'll see someone be like,
I dare you to see how many
times you can say hot dog
during your press conference, you know,
and then it's just it is funny.
And, you know,
they'll like throw in the
word hot dog and and, you know,
you're thinking, oh,
that's kind of weird.
And then you see later that
that was like a challenge.
You're like, OK, that makes more sense.
It felt like someone before
the press conference pulled
him aside and was like,
I want you to make a sexist
joke and toss it in there.
Let's see if you can do it.
And he did.
And it didn't even make sense.
It didn't even make sense.
I'm just I'm so tired.
I'm so tired.
And I hate that.
First of all,
no one even followed up on him.
No one was like, skirts on your goalies?
Can you clarify what you mean by that?
And no one is going to say anything.
No one from the high-level
media will call them out.
You know who calls them out?
People like me with small platforms.
Small.
I know.
I don't have a ton of followers.
I don't have a ton of listeners.
That's okay with me.
I like what I do.
But the fact is,
the fact remains that it is
people like me, small podcasts,
small personalities,
people who write for smaller websites.
We're the ones calling them
out because we're willing
to put it on the line.
In a way,
I understand why someone with a
larger platform,
someone with a high paying media job,
I get why they would be hesitant.
But again, we all see you.
We see the ones who say
something and we see the ones who don't.
We see the ones who ignore it.
And we remember.
Earlier in the season,
I talked about the LGBTQ
plus community within hockey and how
I, you know,
I'm always wanting to support them.
And I think I want to just
extend and like broaden
that because I've talked
about I'm a hockey mom.
My kid is only six.
He's been in many nights for two years.
You know,
there isn't much I can do at this
level yet.
But I want to be a presence
in his hockey life.
To call out bullshit.
That includes not only using a slur,
that includes inappropriate
jokes like rape or sexual assault.
People need to call it out.
And unfortunately,
even when it is called out,
that does not mean that the
person will face consequences.
And it's hard because many of us,
we remember.
We remember the players who
were on the World Juniors team,
even if they weren't part
of the five who were like the big,
like the bad actors.
From what everything has said,
everybody on the team knew.
That means that anybody that
played on that team knew
what happened and did jack shit about it.
They did not care that this
young woman's life was ruined.
I don't care if they didn't laugh at it.
I don't care if they didn't
respond to the message.
They read it.
And they moved on with their lives.
And that's disgusting.
I think I'm coming to the end of my rant.
I just...
I'm tired.
And aren't we all?
But if you're listening, watching,
whatever, keep calling it out.
The more people that call it out,
despite backlash,
despite what other people say or think,
that is what is going to prompt change.
More and more people will be
willing to stand up and say
that things are not funny,
say that they don't like it,
And if we get started, you know,
it's the ripple effect.
And it will ripple out, hopefully,
into hockey culture as a whole.
Because that's where it's needed.
Okay.
This is enough of a rant.
I am just, you know,
quick going to throw my
little ticket master thing up.
And people are like, oh, well,
you just went on a rant.
Now you want us to pay.
You know what?
Shut up.
That's all I have to say.
The affiliate code is in the show notes.
Otherwise it is up on this
QR code is up on the screen
here in the video.
And you know what?
I'm just asking for support
because that helps pay our bills.
You know,
it helps pay for how we record
the show and where we host
it and all that stuff.
So anyway, there that is.
If you have any questions or whatever,
Ask me.
If you want to talk in good faith.
I will.
You know,
it's it's just the the trolls
that are hard because it's
like they don't they're not
there in good faith.
So until next time,
I hope everyone is
otherwise enjoying the playoffs.
And next time we talk,
it'll be a little bit less ranty.
So everyone have a good day.