Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
We all carry something. In this soulful and deeply human podcast, Marilyn Getas Byrne holds heartfelt conversations with people who’ve lived through the unthinkable—and made their way back to joy. These are real stories of pain, healing, and what it truly means to choose happy.
Hi, everybody. Welcome to this episode of I Choose Happy. I'm Marilyn Giedis Byrne. And today, we have something a little different for you. I am sharing my story on the anniversary of the day I was diagnosed.
Marilyn:It has been fifteen years to this day, and I cannot be, more grateful, more relieved, and happy to be here all these years later. It's a true blessing to be able to, live this life with my husband and my kids and my friends and the rest of my extended family. So I am just so grateful to have all of you here sharing in this day with me. We call it my rebirthday because when I was diagnosed, I remember asking a nurse, how do you know when do you start counting the years that you're surviving? When are when do you become a survivor?
Marilyn:And she goes, well, think from the time you're diagnosed, you are surviving. And so we decided, my husband and I, very intentionally to not have October 28 become a doomsday anniversary. We wanted it to be a rebirth, a rebirthday. So our kids growing up saw us choosing life, choosing to look at the positive side of this, at the fact that we were overcoming, and we were overcoming together as a family. And so I think fifteen years feels like a lifetime in some ways, and it also feels like yesterday because so much of who I am today began that day.
Marilyn:And I wanted to take this chance to look back not at the illness, but at the life that came from it. So if you're in the trenches right now, I hope my story helps you feel less alone. That's what I'm really here to do is to find connection with you. Because there is life, love, and light on the other side of fear. You can choose happy even when happy looks different than you expected.
Marilyn:So for the first time, the mic was turned around. Morgan interviewed me, and I got to sit down and tell my story. It is a story about faith, family, loss, and the strange ways that hope finds us. So thank you for being here to listen.
Morgan:Marilyn, your story is unlike any I've heard. It is full of ups and downs and lots of love and
Marilyn:And all arounds.
Morgan:And all arounds. Yes. And I think we should just jump right into it. And I kind of would like you to tell our listeners why we're choosing this time now.
Marilyn:Well, I think, as I've been reflecting on the last fifteen years of my life, I am coming up on my fifteenth anniversary since the day of my diagnosis. And I know as we're airing this, it will be on that day, 10/28/2025 marks fifteen years. And I just feel this profound sense of duty and, a sense of longing to share with people my story of struggle, and there was a lot of it. A lot of it in a very condensed period of time, after having, I think, what many probably would have considered a charmed life. And then I hit 40, and everything kind of blew to pieces for about a decade.
Marilyn:And there were so much coming at us that I remember thinking, oh my gosh. Like, we we had fallen into some vortex, or we were just going through this odyssey. I think odyssey is a great word, this unknown journey. And I feel so compelled to share because when you're in the trenches, I think you can really feel alone. And even though I was surrounded by a loving family and supported friends and a community that really created a webbing of support so we felt like we couldn't slip through the cracks.
Marilyn:I mean, really, it we we were very blessed that way. But in the quiet of the night when you're alone with your thoughts, a cancer diagnosis can really get you spinning. And people are walking around you, and they're not sick, and they're not in chemo, and they're not feeling like they've gotta just go to bed. And you're watching the activity around you and realizing that you are sort of on this, path that can feel like you're alone because no one around you is maybe experiencing exactly what you're experiencing. They're having a different experience in relationship to my experience.
Marilyn:But I just remember even right after I was diagnosed thinking someday when I get through this, I wanna be there for others. I want to hold their hand. I want to give them some kind of hope. And I think just by surviving, there is hope in that by choosing life, by choosing joy.
Morgan:How beautiful. And I can definitely speak as a witness to you doing that work now And the power of your journey and what that has brought you, not only at the place you're in in life now, but the way you're amplifying that mission. And I think you kinda mentioned off the top that life felt charmed before the diagnosis. So, can you maybe walk us through what your life and career and the the path that you thought you were on before that day 15 ago?
Marilyn:Yeah. I was born in 1970, in Daly City, California, just South of San Francisco. I grew up in Pacifica, which was just South of San Francisco on the coast in a beautiful little surf town, about 40,000 people. It was really a a lovely place to grow up. Very safe, kind of a bedroom community to San Francisco.
Marilyn:My parents were older, so I was a late in life shock to my family. My parents were born my dad was born in 1920. My mom was born in 1927. My siblings were all born in the fifties, so they were, 20, 16, and 13 when I was born. My parents were 44 and 50.
Marilyn:And I feel like I got to squeak in just in the nick of time into this family that was so loving, unconditionally loving. They wanted nothing but the best for my our parents wanted nothing but the best for all of us kids. And they were very proud of us. They were very supportive. And I think they did give me an innate sense that I was limitless.
Marilyn:I'm very grateful for that today because I know having that instilled as a young person helped get me through the biggest hurdles of my life for sure. So I really credit them. They're both they have both passed on. And I talk to them every day and stay in gratitude for, the kind of oh gosh. I feel like it was just unwavering, love and support.
Marilyn:So I'm very grateful that I got to be part of this this beautiful family. I was a pretty precocious little kid, very curious, very much part of the adult conversation even when I was three. I remember my mom saying, we had to get you into preschool because you wanted to talk about Watergate and Nixon at dinner parties. So It makes
Morgan:a lot of sense to me to hear that.
Marilyn:Well and it's just so funny when I think about that. I think that, all I heard around the dinner table was what the family was regurgitating back, in that dinner conversation of what they were getting throughout the day. And here's this little kid just kinda taking it all in.
Morgan:So rising. Right? Rising to an adult level early to kind of match Yes. The energy around you.
Marilyn:Yeah. And I think and I was a very sensitive kid. And I I remember my mom saying that even at three and four, I would ask her why does there have to be war? Why do and I think I had moments where I really had some pretty big heavy
Morgan:Yeah.
Marilyn:Things on my heart for a young child. And my parents had a way of comforting me, of reassuring me, and I think they managed whatever that anxiety was for me and that and that sensitivity I had. I was not shamed to have those thoughts and those feelings. So I think whether that was unusual for that time or, you know, I got really lucky, I had parents who who fostered that and and nurtured my thoughts about everything.
Morgan:In my mind, I'm hearing that they were just beautiful stewards of your tender heart.
Marilyn:Yes.
Morgan:And you were able to preserve that as you grew. And Yes. Grew into an adult and started to pursue big things.
Marilyn:Yes. And I think it gave me a trust in other people. I think I I felt like, I had an optimism about life that was in me. Now whether I was born with that or that was instilled through my family, probably a combination of both. Both?
Marilyn:Yeah. Mhmm. But I think that I always tended to look at the bright side of life, that was in us. I I watched my parents do it. I mean, they had hardships.
Marilyn:I remember my dad losing a job, and, you know, they didn't crawl under the covers. They faced what came, and they made the best of it. And they moved through it. They didn't they weren't big complainers. I think they, they just had a way of rising to the occasion in the moment of of whatever came their way.
Marilyn:And so I think that means, now when I look back on it, I think they were pretty present people. And they had great faith. They had great faith. My mom, I could remember her saying, Lord, if this is meant to be, then then it's meant to be, and I'll know it. And show me.
Marilyn:Show me. And so I think, they were straw they were very much, participants in their church. It was our our Saint Peter's Catholic Church in in Pacifica. And so I felt that they walked the walk, And and and it wasn't just talk for them. I felt that they really were, incredible ambassadors, and incredible, citizens in our in our town, and they were community members who really showed up and, and participated.
Marilyn:And so I think there was a a great example to me at a very young age of what that meant.
Morgan:It sounds like it. It sounds like it. And probably one of your earlier examples of choosing happy. Yeah. It sounds like they were making the active choice for that perspective.
Marilyn:Yeah. They love to entertain. They love to have people over. They enjoyed going out to dinner, and they didn't have a lot of money. They but they made it a priority to enjoy life and enjoy the things that they that made them happy.
Marilyn:And that was being with their family, being around their kids. And so there was never a feeling that you didn't belong.
Morgan:Wow. That's beautiful. And to me, as a dear friend of yours, I guess I wanna say you're such a dear friend of mine, it's very clear that you carry that spirit of theirs so strongly in everything you do. Everything you're describing, I'm hearing. Oh, that's how Marilyn is too.
Marilyn:Oh, thank you so much for that. Because I I do feel, like it is, very intentional that I bring through my parents to my own children.
Morgan:Oh, that's so special.
Marilyn:For sure.
Morgan:I'm excited to reach the point where we start talking about your children because they're such an incredible part of you too and your family. But I would love to move into your career because it's a very amazing, incredible, respectable career that you pursued.
Marilyn:Well, I, started in college. I was a speech and communications major, and I had a professor who told me, you know, you just kinda amp it up every time the camera's on. And he said, I think you should go over to the TV and radio department, which at San Francisco State at the time, had one of the best TV and radio programs in the country. And they were really known for getting you out the door of of college and right into, work at a station. And that's hard to do.
Marilyn:I mean, it was an extremely competitive environment, and this was very early nineties. So, so I did. I went over, and I sort of crashed my way into the TV and radio department. And I just was kind of the student that wouldn't go away. I would I would hang on and and go to class.
Marilyn:Even if I wasn't admitted to the class, I would wait until enough people had dropped the class, and then I'd kinda squeak in. I was very persistent, and and enjoyed it immediately. I mean, I remember the for one of the first classes was the art of the interview, and I and and it was just challenging and exciting, and they had a full TV studio at the school. So you could really practice. And in instantly, I felt like, okay.
Marilyn:I think I'm on a path here. And I got an internship at the CVS owned and operated, station in San Francisco called KPIX, and I worked on the, assignment desk. It's kind of the heartbeat of the newsroom. It's where you're dispatching crews to to the scene of of whatever is going on in a in a very large and busy city. And I just felt alive, and I knew that this was gonna be a path for me.
Marilyn:And I worked really hard as an intern, and the the news director called me into his office and said, I'm really watching you stretch yourself, and how can I help you get to the next level? And that led to a job in Monterrey, California as a reporter, and then that turned into an anchor reporter job. And then eventually, I hopped to the competitive station across the street and became a weekday anchor and then was promoted within the company to the Baltimore Washington market and worked at WBAL as a morning and noon anchor. And that was very exciting. And then came back to California many years later.
Marilyn:After being in Baltimore, I mean, through 09:11 and through some, the the Washington sniper stories, I mean, there were some some some big stories that we covered when I was back there. And it just kinda gave me the chops, as they say, in the business to to just keep going and keep exploring and came back to the West Coast and was an evening anchor. And and, you know, we had already started our family and and and had the kids. And somewhere along the line, I knew it was time to kinda pull back and and stay home with the kids. I just was really torn at the time, especially after we had our daughter, our second child.
Marilyn:We had a a son, when we were in Baltimore, Jackson Thomas. So he goes by JT, and we call him Jack. And then we had Caroline, when we came back to California. And at that time with both kids, I just I really wanted to be home with them. I did not want to miss out on raising those kids.
Morgan:So it kinda sounds like it was an intuition or your spirit or some inner voice because that that must have been a really challenging decision when you have put so much into this career.
Marilyn:It was. It really was. I kept getting the sense that it was getting more and more out of balance where work was becoming all encompassing. And I needed to I needed to make a choice for myself. And I'm not saying this is the choice that somebody else has to make.
Marilyn:I have friends who successfully stayed in the business and raised their kids and did a beautiful job. For me, I just couldn't get settled with being away from them so much of the day, and I have never regretted that decision to stay home. So I did. I pulled the plug. And you're right.
Marilyn:It's a huge investment. I think I always thought maybe down the road, I'll go back.
Morgan:Right.
Marilyn:And I had news directors who said you can come back anytime. I mean, I felt like I had that sort of underlying support just in case.
Morgan:Which is really nice. Which
Marilyn:is really nice. But I think making that decision and not knowing what was coming down the pike, that I was gonna be faced with a very life changing, moment, I am so grateful that I had that time to savor those moments with those young children.
Morgan:That is really powerful. Almost like your soul's wisdom maybe knew that that was precious time.
Marilyn:Yeah. There was definitely a nagging
Morgan:Yeah.
Marilyn:About about staying home.
Morgan:And you know I love your intuition. I I think it's such a strong force.
Marilyn:Well and you know what's interesting? I think when you leave a job like that, it's not just leaving your job, it's leaving a public job.
Morgan:Yeah.
Marilyn:And there was a sense of of a loss of identity. There was a sense of I loved the energy of the newsroom. I love the energy of of a collaborative team working on ideas all day and then executing those ideas, you know, when you're live at five and you're live at six and and and you're you know, the adrenaline's going. I mean, there is something really exciting Yeah. In all of that.
Marilyn:I mean, I never ever, in my workday, looked at a clock and thought, ugh. I still have two more hours. It was always like, oh my gosh. We only have two more hours.
Morgan:Flying by.
Marilyn:Time is flying by. And I think leaving all of that was a bigger transition than I had even anticipated. And it took me a while to kinda get settled in to not having that career. I had it for so long, almost twenty years. So, you know, there's a part of me that wishes I could have done it part time, and I had asked for that at one time.
Marilyn:I think that would have been really doable. But, yes, but that was just not gonna be I know that's still actually a really hard line in the business today. Yeah. So I, you know, I chose my kids. Wow.
Morgan:I I think that is very honorable. You know, one of one of the greatest things for me about coming into your life has been witnessing your family and your motherhood, knowing your kids now who are, you know, 19 and 22, and kind of getting to meet them on almost a peer level, they are incredible humans. And I just wanna make sure that we take time to highlight the power of your mothering, the intentionality of it, the spirit of it, the heart you bring. It is so unique and special.
Marilyn:Well, thank you. I feel like they came to us a certain way, and it was our job not to mess it up. You know what I mean? Right. They they I I my mom and dad used to talk about something, and I thought it was always so powerful to me.
Marilyn:My dad would say you know, my parents had four kids. He'd say, we didn't divvy up our attention. You know, take a 100% and divide it by four. Every kid with every child, we found another 100%. Wow.
Marilyn:And that resonated. Even when I was a young kid, I would hear him sharing that with people. And my mom would always say, you know, you may not parent exactly the same way for each kid. You're going to parent for the way they need you. And that may be counterintuitive for I I don't know if that's I've heard a lot of people who who do not agree with that.
Marilyn:I think they there are a lot of people who feel like you're in this household. This is how we do it, and you're gonna conform to that. And that's fine. That's a that's that's totally subjective. For me, I I really felt that our kids, even though they're born in into this same home with the same parents, they needed different things.
Marilyn:They had different needs. And so the way my parents parented, they were so present to each of us. I did feel that it was important for me to be paying close attention. And if I didn't know how to do something, I was gonna figure it out. And if I needed to ask for expert advice, if I needed to talk to another family member or someone who had more experience as a parent, I did that.
Marilyn:I was always very proactive in making sure I was showing up the best way I could. And I'm you know, nobody's perfect, so I I'm sure I made a lot of mistakes along the way. But we're all human, but the intention was always there to learn more about parenting, to learn more about my kids, and always to try to, see them as individuals, to see them for they you know, I always think kids are are are people who just come a little after us. And and so I really would get down on my knees. And when they came to talk to me, I really wanted to get right in front of their faces and and show them that I was listening.
Marilyn:So I think that presence that my parents gave me, definitely helped me to transfer that to my children.
Morgan:I love that. And it's a generational love carrying through. Mhmm. That is beautiful.
Marilyn:So Thank you. You make
Morgan:the choice to spend the early years with your kids. They're young. They're growing up. You guys are building community, and you turn 40. Right?
Morgan:Mhmm. So take us to the experience of your diagnosis.
Marilyn:40 was a rough year. It was 2010. I turned 40 on 03/19/2010, and I had just had this sledding accident with the kids. And I had I had I'd shattered my pinky finger, and I had to have surgery. And they had to come put this finger back together.
Marilyn:And so it was the first time I had ever had surgery. And that was, you know, right after my fortieth birthday. And then in June, a couple months later was our daughter's fourth birthday, and I slipped in our bathroom, and I broke my shoulder and dislocated my shoulder, and it required surgery. So July of of twenty ten, right after I turned 40, I was in a big full open reconstruction of my shoulder. And so my arms in a sling all summer long, it was, you know, I was in pain and doing all my rehab.
Marilyn:And I found a lump in my left breast as soon as I got out of that sling. So it was like a couple months. I was having a cup of tea. I reached across to kind of maybe I had, like, a little itch or something. And I just happened to brush my hand, and it was the first time I could kind of rotate my shoulder, you know, around to this side of my body.
Marilyn:And I felt a lump. And I was shocked. And I thought, I've never I've never felt that before. And I kinda kept on it. You know?
Marilyn:It just felt like, just a hardening underneath the skin. And so I called Tom, my husband, and he said he he he'll never forget the sound in my voice. There was just this this certain concern. And he he came in, and I said, can you can you see if you feel this, you know, the way I'm feeling it? And he said, yeah.
Marilyn:That You need to go get that checked. And, honestly, I still even in that moment, I thought it's a cyst. I've always been lucky, always been you know, have this kinda charm.
Morgan:That's what I wanted to know. What is that instant feeling?
Marilyn:Yeah. I was certainly curious, but I honestly, it didn't freak me out. I wasn't up all night worrying about it. I was noticing it. I just automatically assumed it was gonna be okay, that it would be assist.
Marilyn:It's not gonna be anything. And that was my mentality. And maybe have been okay. That because things started right. And things always worked out for the best in AA.
Marilyn:I know careers kind of had a a a really lovely trajectory. Things kind of kind of moved quickly and in the right direction. And I think you start to believe that it's always gonna be like that. Right. You know?
Marilyn:There's nothing to worry about. It's always it's always gonna work out. Always worked out.
Morgan:And and probably a little face intertwined. You know?
Marilyn:Absolutely. God had never let me down, and, he wasn't gonna let me down this time either. And I was really firm firm in that. And it didn't even mean that he was letting me down, but I just thought he's got me. Yeah.
Marilyn:And I'm okay. And I'm healthy. And I'm strong. Well, that was still true. Yes.
Marilyn:But I will tell you that the couple years before this, I was going to doctors saying, I'm not feeling right. I'm having a lot of fatigue. I was having some weird joint pain and unexplained fatigue. And, you know, I worked as a morning news anchor getting up at 02:30 in the morning every day. I knew what tired felt like.
Morgan:Yeah. You're gonna be a little exhausted.
Marilyn:Yeah. Yeah. A lot exhausted. And and this was a different kind of fatigue. This was like, I can't get up to walk across the room, and I knew something was going on.
Marilyn:So for a couple of years, I had been going to doctors, and they just kept saying, you know, you've got two young kids. Of course, you're tired. And and my blood work always came back fine. So I finally had let it go. I thought, okay.
Marilyn:I've done my due diligence. I've gone to the doctors. I have I have taken all the tests, and they couldn't find anything. And there were times I was very frustrated feeling like they were missing something. But even even so, when the the lump when I found the lump, I didn't automatically think, oh, there's the smoking gun.
Marilyn:I I just honestly thought this is gonna be another thing that's gonna that will not materialize into something like cancer. This is gonna be a cyst, and they're gonna take it out, and we'll be done with that and move on. So I made an appointment with my OB GYN, and they got me in a couple days later. I think I found the lump, like, on a I think it was a Tuesday, and I was in their office on a Thursday. And, you know, I they had delivered my my my doctor had delivered Caroline, our daughter, and I I brought them cookies.
Marilyn:And it was a beautiful sunny day in October. Kind of our, you know, our summer here on the Central Coast Of California is when we get our best weather is in October.
Morgan:Yeah.
Marilyn:And it was just gorgeous. It was, like, 80 degrees, not a cloud in the sky. And I remember walking into that office. And right away, he started feeling the lump. And then he went to the the right breast where there was nothing, and he was kind of doing a comparison.
Marilyn:And then he kinda kept staying on that left breast. And I started thinking, he's really he's really focusing in on this on this lump. And he said, you know, Marilyn, I think we'll all sleep better tonight if you go to the breast care center today and have a biopsy. And then, you know, that's when things started to shift.
Morgan:That's when it felt real to you that something was going on.
Marilyn:Yeah. And I was still, though, kinda holding out that hope that he's you know, it's gonna be okay. And he said that. He said, I I I I feel like I feel like you're gonna be fine, but I just wanna double check this. And so they got me in that afternoon and, went in for my first mammogram because I had just turned 40, so you usually have your first mammogram at 40.
Marilyn:And I had that scheduled on the books for December. So now I'm in there for a very specific look at this lump, and I'm having my first, my first mammogram, and they're just taking picture after picture of that left breast. And now it's getting more real. Right. And they had me go into a room, and I remember I had my gown on.
Marilyn:And, the oncologist there was an a radiation actually, she yeah. She was a radiologist, an oncology radiologist. And she came in, and she said, is your husband here?
Morgan:And
Marilyn:I think that's when I I got really scared. And I said, you know what? I said I he he offered to come with me. I told him to stay home. I told him that I'd meet him for lunch after this was gonna be nothing.
Marilyn:I'd be there fifteen minutes, and I'll be home, and I'll meet you for lunch. I said, but knowing Tom, he may be out in that waiting room. He may have ignored ignored all that. And, she goes, I'll be right back. And she went out, and about five minutes later, she walked back in, and Tom was following right behind her.
Morgan:Sure enough.
Marilyn:And he I had never seen seen him look more stricken. Mhmm. It was really scary to see his face. She came in and, had done an ultrasound, and we were looking at the screen together. And she said, you have breast cancer.
Marilyn:And this is gonna have to come out, and this is gonna have to be taken care of very soon. And she showed us she said the tendrils. She showed us how they were heading right towards the heart, left breast, kind of, you know, heading right in towards that that blood supply.
Morgan:Very close to it.
Marilyn:Yeah. And and it there was no doubt about it. She said there's just no doubt about it. You have cancer. And she showed me a clock.
Marilyn:It's like a digital clock, and they brought out this paperwork showing that I had been formally diagnosed or, you know, that I was gonna have to, you know, do this biopsy. And and I remember I had to fill in the time. And I don't know if this was just for their office or if this is what happens to every, you know, breast cancer patient, but I remember looking at the clock. It was 02:43PM, and it was like the lights were just penetrating, you know, my eyes. And I felt it sounded like everyone was suddenly underwater.
Marilyn:It was just this muffled I it was like and the room got smoky. And I remember looking down, and I could see my gown just quivering. So the fear the fear was there, and it hit me hard. And it was completely shocking. And but somewhere in there, I remember still bargaining with God.
Marilyn:You know? Okay. It's always okay. You can make this okay. This is gonna turn around.
Marilyn:Somehow, this is gonna turn around. I I was a I'm a huge believer in miracles. I mean, I see miracle we see miracles every day in in some way, shape, or form. Just being here, I think, is a miracle. So there was some part of me that was still hanging on to still gonna be okay.
Marilyn:To the light. Yeah. To the
Morgan:light in the midst of feeling underwater and muffled. I mean, as someone who can't relate to such an experience, I'm feeling what you're describing being put there and all of a sudden existing in a place of fear and the unknown. And so what's after that? What's next?
Marilyn:Tom and I held hands, and we walked out to the car together. And we just sat there in shock. We cried. How are we gonna tell the kids? What are we gonna do?
Marilyn:When do we do it? Already going and, oh, when I left the the office, they hand you this binder. I mean, I'm not kidding. It's this thick. Doctors, radiologists, therapists, oncologists, you know, everything you need to to know.
Marilyn:And so it's sort of this parting gift as you're leaving leaving the office. You have cancer, and and and now, you know, this is your study guide.
Morgan:Yeah. Here's the index of your
Marilyn:new life. Yes. Yeah. That was surreal. I remember just thinking, what is what is happening right now?
Marilyn:I mean, it would just it it really was like walking out of that breast care center. I was aware in some bizarre way of that threshold of walking out that door and knowing when I took that step out, it was a whole new world. I remember that. And then sitting in the car and kinda we called our parents. Tom called his parents.
Marilyn:I called my parents. And my parents were elderly. Remember, they had me late in life. Right. And, you know, I could hear the tears on the other side.
Marilyn:And, but loving immediately unconditional. What can we do? How can we support you? And I said, I am gonna need to think about that, you know, as this unfolds. So we drove home.
Marilyn:Our our kids were in the living room and, immediately asked, you know, why did missus Deleary, who is a a dear friend, pick us up from school today? You know? Is it something with your shoulder? Because they knew I had been in that sling and had had that shoulder surgery. And I said, no.
Marilyn:I said, you know, I said, I have a lump in my breast. And my son was watching he loved baseball, and he was seven years old, almost eight. And he's watching the Texas Rangers play the San Francisco Giants in the World Series. And he's a huge we're all huge Giants fans.
Morgan:Oh, yeah. Twenty ten.
Marilyn:Yep. 2010. And I remember he was sitting there glued to the game, and then he he asked me, and I couldn't believe this, Morgan. He said, mom, what is it? And I said, it's a tumor.
Marilyn:And he goes, a tumor? He said, that's disease. What is it?
Morgan:Wow. And I just
Marilyn:thought, oh my gosh. And I said, it's cancer. And his big blue eyes just filled with tears, and he just kinda fell back into the couch. And I thought, isn't it interesting? We didn't deal with cancer in our family.
Marilyn:We no one had had it. We didn't you know, we weren't confronted with this.
Morgan:Right.
Marilyn:And I thought, how is this child grasping the gravity of of this in this moment? It was really incredible. Our daughter, who was four at the time, you know, comes running over. Can I touch it? You know?
Marilyn:And she had a totally different way of being with it, and it was so innocent and precious. And then the questions start coming. You know? And my son said, mom, when they take the lump out, what are they gonna fill it up with? Styrofoam balls?
Morgan:So Only a child.
Marilyn:Only a child. And I thought, oh my gosh. Even right now, we we laughed. I remember thinking I'm I'm not gonna laugh for months. Right.
Marilyn:You know, just this feeling of how could I you know? And already already, there was some humor we could we could kinda hang on to. We could talk about it, and we were talking about it. And this conversation was getting real for our son who said, mom, are you gonna be okay? And I reassured him.
Marilyn:I said, I'm not going to crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head. You know? Your mom's a survivor, and you're we're gonna do everything that we can to get through this, and we all get through it together as a family. And I remember having that conversation. And then the big question he said, mom, does everybody get cancer at some point in their lives?
Marilyn:So he's you know, it's triggering
Morgan:new fear for the kids
Marilyn:as well. Totally. Of course. And then I made my way to the kitchen, and I remember calling their teachers and thinking I wanted their teachers to know first because when they showed up at school the next day, I wanted them to be instantly held.
Morgan:Yes.
Marilyn:So they had a knowledge that something big was happening in our household and that my kids need a little extra support at that time.
Morgan:What a beautiful thing to know right away that I know we have talked in different conversations about a webbing of support. Mhmm. But you had the wherewithal or the knowing to instantly start weaving the web yourself.
Marilyn:You know, I've thought a lot about that, and I don't know what it is. I think I'm not I've never really been afraid, and maybe it's what made me go into the news business because I've always been curious, and I've always asked a lot of questions to the annoyance of other people, for sure. I'm positive of that. But I there's a curiosity. But I also know and maybe it is the new I've never drawn this correlation before.
Marilyn:But, you know, when you're out getting a story Mhmm. You have to go up and ask people questions. And it always amazed me how everybody was most people were really willing to help, and they were really willing to offer their knowledge and their expertise. And and every day, if when you're a a reporter and you're going out on a story, you've gotta find the people who know about the subject matter that you're uncovering for the day.
Morgan:Yeah. You need a reliable source.
Marilyn:You need a reliable source. So I got really good at finding the people who could talk about something with with intelligence, with knowledge, with education. And I think I learned that it's out there. It's out there. So why should I be in the dark and fumble around if there are people that can help guide me along the way?
Marilyn:And I think I did that a lot as a parent for the kids when they were struggling and I didn't know exactly how to help them. It could have been easy for me to just pretend. And a lot of things, of course, we solved on our own, or we just let time play out and it worked itself out. But there were other times when I knew I need a little support to be a better parent here. And so when this happened, I already felt like that rudder was in the water.
Marilyn:And I knew that navigating that boat, this in these new unchartered waters
Morgan:Yeah.
Marilyn:That I was going to need some navigation.
Morgan:A team almost to welcome it.
Marilyn:Yes. And that I knew that I could reach out to those teachers. I could reach out. Well, the kids went to a fabulous school with a lot of, engagement, and no kid was flying under the radar there. They were really incredible.
Morgan:What a gift.
Marilyn:Yeah. And so I thought, well, I'm tapping into that because they're gonna need it. This is gonna be a journey. I already had that sense. This is gonna this is gonna be a while.
Morgan:Yeah. You're kind of buckling up.
Marilyn:Yes. And I wanted them away when they're away from this house, I wanted to know that they also had that webbing of support as we talked about.
Morgan:And I'm sure that made a world of a difference for them while you're probably planning your next steps of treatment.
Marilyn:Absolutely. And I have to mention too, I mean, our community was incredible. I had friends that instantly were there helping every step of the way and and putting together a website where people could sign up for meals. They could sign up to drive the kids to school. And and that was kinda that part was hard because I didn't wanna burden anybody at the same time.
Marilyn:You know, you wanna reach out for help, but I I really didn't want someone to come and do our laundry and and that sort of thing.
Morgan:I just such a vulnerable feeling.
Marilyn:Oh, totally. And especially when you're used to kinda doing everything yourself.
Morgan:Right.
Marilyn:So there was an automatic new learning about acceptance and accepting that help. And and Tom would always say he goes, well, you've always helped others. So he said, it just feels natural. To him, he goes, this is naturally coming back around. I didn't look at it that way.
Marilyn:I just felt so humbled. I felt so blessed. And what it was, Morgan, was this magnified view of love that you're not even always aware of. It's there. It's hard to think that sometimes we have to be sick to wake up to it, but it was there in such a big way.
Marilyn:People want to help, and cancer is a trigger. Cancer triggers that, like, what can we do? How do we help you? What what are we gonna, you know, what are we gonna do? The benefit, though, of sharing the information that this is what our family's going through was really to learn about that giving and receiving, that flow between people that will be we're there for you.
Marilyn:You're there for us. I mean, this is community. Right?
Morgan:The true beauty of community.
Marilyn:Is the beauty of community. And I felt that immediately.
Morgan:That makes me feel really happy to hear.
Marilyn:Yeah. And I think you when you can tap into the gratitude for that, it's such a powerful feeling, and I think that's what gets you through.
Morgan:It sounds like it.
Marilyn:It got that's what got me through. Yeah. For sure. For sure. And our friends were unbelievable.
Marilyn:I mean, everywhere we turn, there was someone showing up Wow. In support. And that's not to say my sisters asked me about this. Like, well, what do you say to people who don't feel that support or may not have that support? And that's where my heart goes out.
Marilyn:And I think an answer to your very first question about why now sharing this story now is for that reason. It's for the people out there that might feel alone. And I want them to hear that these journeys, while they are very unique to ourselves everybody's cancer journey, I think, is is different, but there's a common thread there. And I do believe that hope is all around us. It's all around us, but we have to look for it.
Marilyn:We have to grab it. We have to be willing to be in enough acceptance and, I think, sit in enough discomfort and and sort of be in it to be present enough to know when when we can grab on to the to those moments that get us through.
Morgan:When it's there for you.
Marilyn:Yes. And when it's you to help you get over that next hurdle.
Morgan:Yeah. That makes a lot of sense.
Marilyn:Yeah.
Morgan:And I love that in your work, you are telling that side of your story, and in that helping people not to feel alone, and also showing the example of offering the hope as well, being on both sides. Because what I'm hearing is there's the moments where we need to accept, and then there's the moments where we can give.
Marilyn:Yeah. Yeah. For sure. I, uniquely to our situation, I had well, I had a I chose to have a double mastectomy, a bilateral mastectomy with reconstruction, And then I had to have 20 rounds of chemo. That was about a seven month process.
Marilyn:And after the chemo, we were scheduled for radiation. I ended up having an 18 inch blood clot that went from the top of my jugular down my neck across my the subclavian vein in the chest and then down my right arm where the PICC line had been that had administered the chemo. And, I just started ballooning, and it was very scary. And that clot was throwing clots to the lungs. So now I've got pulmonary emboli.
Marilyn:They think that the clot was infected with staph. So as they're trying to bust up the clot, my body was just shutting down. And I was in the hospital for for about eight days. I had shingles in the middle of that, and I had to have a full hysterectomy with ovaries gone. And so just the medical treatment, it was lengthy and it was so rigorous.
Marilyn:And I sometimes can't believe I made it through all of that.
Morgan:Did you know what was happening at that time? That sounds so extreme for your body to be going through.
Marilyn:It was it was the scariest time of that journey. I had gone through all that chemo, had done really well. And I remember thinking, they they had me pretty drugged up during that time.
Morgan:And and I'm sorry. Just to clarify, was was your chemo treatment finished when the blood clot started?
Marilyn:Yeah. I had just finished. They had just pulled this PICC line. They think that there was some kind of scarring from the PICC line that caused this backup of
Morgan:Oh, okay.
Marilyn:Of this blood clot. But it was I was pretty drugged up the whole time. I was in a lot of pain, and I was very, very sick. Very, very, very sick. And I guess I kept muttering to my family and friends, you know, I don't think I'll ever walk the beach again.
Marilyn:And that's I love to do that with our dogs. That was kind of my my peaceful place. And I don't remember saying that, but I was saying it. And, apparently, I liked my nurse so much. I kept telling Tom, if anything happens to me, go to Allison.
Marilyn:So and Tom was not happy about anything.
Morgan:For the future? Yeah.
Marilyn:I was setting him up. I was making sure everything was Okay. That's funny.
Morgan:Talk about the levity throughout.
Marilyn:Totally. And talk about wanting to care for your family. But I, and and then I kept thinking, oh my god. What was I saying to Allison in the middle of the night in my in my, you know, drugged up, you know, stupor?
Morgan:It's probably best to never know.
Marilyn:To never know. I know. But I but I guess I was just kind of trying to get everything, like, all my ducks in a row. Yeah. And so so, you know, I got through that.
Marilyn:I got through that, and I had my own kind of I may say near death experience. Did I was I really going to die? Don't
Morgan:How did you get through that?
Marilyn:You know, I I had this sense of it's just an interesting story. I was just one of those nights. I didn't remember anything in those eight days. I mean, people were coming from New York Wow. To come see me, friends from all over, and I I didn't even remember that.
Marilyn:But there was this one night that, I had a moment where I was having a conversation with God. And it was like I was waking up to a conversation that was already happening. It was like my soul was having a conversation, and I was just kind of becoming aware of the conversation. And I and what I was saying was I will go with you, but I have to know there will be so much love around my children. It will be equal to a mother's love.
Marilyn:And if that can't be possible, I I have to be here. I'm not saying I was being summoned or asked to go. I felt like I was being given permission that if I like, I like, you're tired, and if you need to just come this way. I felt like I almost had choice there. I don't know if if other people have felt this way, but there was some sense of a of another threshold.
Marilyn:And then all of a sudden, my my father had passed away four weeks before this moment. And he passed away from, colon cancer at the age of 91. I had a very profound knowing he was there with me. I saw his silhouette, and it was as though he was trying to wake me up, almost like a flick of my brain. You know this.
Marilyn:You know this. And I thought, I do know this. And he said, believe. Believe. And it was like this light bulb turned back on because I all through chemo, all through surgery, everything, I believed.
Marilyn:I I just believed that I was gonna make it.
Morgan:Right.
Marilyn:And I think this blood clot brought so much fear of abandoning or of orphaning my children, because that's all I could think about was I just did not wanna leave my kids
Morgan:Of course.
Marilyn:Without a mother. That fear was all consuming. I couldn't think about believing because the fear had completely taken over. And the minute this remembering that I could believe, I can still believe even in this moment
Morgan:You're like, oh, yeah.
Marilyn:Oh, yeah. That's possible. Yeah. Thanks, dad. Exactly.
Marilyn:It was like he was I swear. It was like he was going, wake up. Wake up. And he kept saying, you know this. You know this.
Marilyn:That's the message I was getting. I'm not saying I heard his voice. It was just like a knowing that Yeah. You know this. And as soon as that remembering was there, that I did have some choice to believe, it was like I almost could feel the fear edging edging out.
Marilyn:And belief was filling that space that was being vacated by this this exiting fear. I it's the only way I could describe it. I know that's And and then I had this sense that I was completely held safe, sound, and that Tom was held, and that Jackson was held, and Caroline was held. And that no matter what happened at that point, I knew whether I was here or on the other side, I was completely safe and completely held. And all of a sudden, I could just let go of that fear and sort of allow whatever was meant to happen to happen, and I had this unbelievable peace.
Marilyn:And I, from that moment, started just hitting these benchmarks, and I was home in two days.
Morgan:Oh my gosh.
Marilyn:Yeah. And it really was my miracle. It really was. I've I have prayed so many times and asked I I just with the gratitude of knowing that, there was a sense of being saved. And I knew that I was going to share that story when I could as many times as I could to offer some kind of hope for others who who might be consumed with fear, and that there is still that space for belief.
Marilyn:The power
Morgan:of belief. The power of your own spirit and mind. Yes.
Marilyn:Yes. And and it doesn't take away because I've thought about this too. From anyone who passes on, it's not that they're I'm not suggesting that someone else isn't believing enough. Of course. This is just my story, and I do feel compelled to share it, because it's my truth.
Marilyn:So I think these these stories in life, these incredible journeys we're all on, everybody has a story. Everybody has overcome something. During our time in between the double mastectomy and the start of chemo, my brother, a dentist of thirty years, showed up on our porch in a catatonic state. And I won't go into too much of that because I know there's a a time you know, little time constraints. But we took him in and became his legal guardians.
Morgan:During your treatment?
Marilyn:During chemo time. Also during that time, there was an issue around our insurance, our hospital falling out of contract with our insurance. And we ended up losing our home in a in a rental property too. We were broke suddenly.
Morgan:Yeah.
Marilyn:And we went from having a pretty good nest egg to scrambling
Morgan:With two little kids.
Marilyn:Losing our home, having to move, having my brother who was severely ill. We didn't know what was going on in and out of psych wards. And now we're going to his visiting hours, and I'm bald and rubbing his feet and trying to care for him and absolutely showing up for him. My sisters did too. We would show up.
Marilyn:We showed up as a whole family, around his care. And in a lot of ways, his journey was a lot scarier than mine. And I had cancer because the protocols for breast cancer patients were pretty clear.
Morgan:Yeah. Those are set in place.
Marilyn:Set in place. And I felt that this man was on a, just going down one rabbit hole after the the next. It was very scary for us to try to figure talk about trying to figure out how to navigate the system, hospitals, you know, in and out, insurance, all of it for him.
Morgan:And that's not even the emotional aspect for you.
Marilyn:No. No. Because I was losing my brother. I was losing my brother. So I have written a memoir.
Marilyn:I'm just making the final finishing touches. Yes. And it's about a brother and sister close intersecting at the height of their own crises with one desperately wanting to live and the other desperately wanting to die. And I won't go into how yet that that ends, but I can tell you it is a story of family, of tragedy, of resilience, of hope, and forgiveness. Forgiveness of others and forgiveness of self.
Marilyn:And all I can say is what has emerged is this beautiful knowing of the strength of our family, the strength of self, the strength of faith, the strength of community, of friendship, there's so much to grasp and hang on to as you move through the twists and turns that feel like they could take you down, but one foot in front of the other. And what is your choice? You show up. Just keep showing up.
Morgan:One day at a time. Right?
Marilyn:One day at a time. I was sitting in a redwood forest, and I was looking at these two saplings, you know, kinda coming up through the ground, and it just hit me. And I thought, these seeds that are way deep underground in the dark, wanting to come come out, wanting to grow, wanting to find the light so it can happen, pushing through, and not knowing what's on the other side. Not knowing, but but but going. And it was just, like, hitting me that maybe one can't find that light and can wither and die.
Marilyn:But it illuminated for me that life is always worth fighting for no matter what. No matter what. And so I really want to share this story of overcoming of extreme overcoming. Yes. To say, like, if we can do it, you can do it.
Marilyn:And you can do it still with humor. And you can do with happiness. You can still choose. I remember right after the double mastectomy, I a few days later, I had a fondue dinner for my
Morgan:Oh my gosh.
Marilyn:And my friends were going, what are you doing? What are you doing?
Morgan:Are you doing this?
Marilyn:How are you doing this? But you know what? It was like if I felt good enough to do something that I loved, and I loved to cook, and I loved to entertain, and I loved to do nice things for my family
Morgan:Yeah.
Marilyn:It made me feel a little bit normal at a time when everything felt foreign.
Morgan:And that's what you needed to choose?
Marilyn:That's what I needed to choose. And if my body was up for it and I could do it, it was okay. It was okay. There's not some rule that, you know, if I could do it, if I could physically get to my son's flag football game, you know, and I could do that, and I was bundled up in blankets, but I had just had surgery. Right.
Marilyn:I wanted to be there. I wanted to show up. And so those were the things that filled my heart, and I wanted the kids to see I could still do it. So whether I was bald, bloated, I might have looked a little weird.
Morgan:A little different than you were little too.
Marilyn:A little different. Yeah. A little different. And, you know, they were aware of that. They had their little thoughts and questions about my bald head.
Marilyn:You know? And my son would kiss my head every day. Love that bald head, mama. Know? And our daughter Caroline would say, is your hat on with her her, you know, her wrist over her eyes?
Morgan:Decent? Yeah.
Marilyn:Are you decent? And so you know? But these are the things that we could laugh about, and we could make light of of the baldness. You know, I used to make jokes about it all the time. It's okay.
Marilyn:That's beautiful. You know, I didn't have to take myself so seriously even in those moments if it meant that that levity could lighten the load.
Morgan:I think it's that thread of wisdom that I've heard from the beginning. There's this underlying knowing in your spirit of the actions you can take to improve the current moment and the connection you're experiencing.
Marilyn:That's a beautiful way to put it. You know, I think people used to ask me, how are you so joyful in chemo? Like and and I wasn't joyful all the time. There were times I was in my bathroom wailing on the floor in absolute fear and frustration and that sadness over the loss of my breasts or the loss of my innocence or the loss of my control. You know?
Marilyn:It's it's a it's a it's an illusion because you don't really have control, but and cancer really shows you that. Yeah. You have a lot of time to practice.
Morgan:I can only imagine.
Marilyn:Understanding that and accepting that you only have so much control. And the control is really how you respond to each moment and how you show up. But I think that it took me a long time to figure this out, but I do think when everyone's meeting you in this high place because people really when you're sick, they really want you to just get better. And you're meeting them in this in this place. And when you are acutely sick with cancer and your life is threatened, you become very aware of what's important.
Marilyn:And it's time, and it's family, and it's the moments. You don't have time for toxic toxicity Right. Or gossipy friends or people who don't treat you well. You know, you realize that you're gonna get very judicious very quickly about the energy you surround yourself with. And I always had, you know, good people around me, but you realize very quickly, you're not gonna put up with the things that suck from your life.
Morgan:It's a new level of clarity.
Marilyn:Totally. Yeah. And and you become acutely aware. I hear this a lot from other patients that I navigate. So I I know I'm sounding like I'm speaking for others, but I will just say from my experience, it really did highlight, this judiciousness and where I was gonna spend my time, who I would spend it with, and that I didn't want to waste another second not maximizing my life.
Morgan:What a valuable message to everyone. There's so many of you who have received that diagnosis and almost been flipped into having to understand that, having to know that. So I wanna say thank you for sharing the message because it is so pertinent that we do all have a limited time. We need to maximize our joy, our experience, our love, our community.
Marilyn:Yes. And recognize the love in your life. Right? It's there. Sometimes we feel so disconnected.
Marilyn:You know? We do. And I think it gets back to gratitude that you go back and just think of the things you do have on those days when you feel empty, the days you feel disconnected, you feel lost. There we all have those days. And I'm not saying you don't sit with it and feel it.
Marilyn:I'm not saying brush it away. Feel it. Let it move through you, and then go back to the remembering of what you do have. Oh, I have support here. Even if it's in the littlest way, just training your brain to stay focused and keep going back to it.
Marilyn:Wait a minute. What is working in my life? And I swear, those neural pathways, you know, that groove gets deeper and deeper the more we practice gratitude, and that's a fact. And I noticed that I have much more prolonged happiness when I choose to continue that practice of gratitude. What a takeaway.
Marilyn:And it's just the it's just the noticing. It's the noticing every day, even when we're frustrated. You know? Be frustrated. Have that have that moment.
Marilyn:But then just remember that one of the tools that we have is tapping back into our memory and tapping back into, really, what is the truth of your day? And it could be just one kindness that you latch onto.
Morgan:I love that as an action.
Marilyn:Yeah. And someone's in traffic and they let you in Right. Without having fight fight your way in.
Morgan:Right? That moment.
Marilyn:And, yes, imprint that moment. Take the moment to go, oh, okay. That was a good moment. And then the other thing I think is just the the giving back. I really think when we are in service to others, that community builds.
Marilyn:It it it it's that coming from your heart, showing up from your heart, not from fear, not from anger, but when we get to that place in us, it's where we feel most at home. I mean, it's where I do. It's where I I remember feeling that as a kid. Just that sort of effortless just being in the moment, enjoying something very simple, and that is the magic.
Morgan:Just to be. Just to be. And I would say that's a big reason we're sitting here today because you have never taken that opportunity to survive lightly. From where I stand, I see that you've been on a mission. Because even before your story started being amplified, and I know you've had opportunities to speak and to uplift.
Morgan:But I wanna talk about healing touch, kind of a post treatment path that you have taken to walk alongside cancer patients to this day?
Marilyn:Healing touch is a modality of energy work. It's like Reiki. Nurses develop these techniques because they noticed that when they had their hands on their patients, their patients did better. And so they developed this back in the nineteen seventies. I had a healing touch practitioner, Margo Baker, who has been on this show, who brought me into her studio.
Marilyn:I got on her table, and this is very early on. This was before I even had surgery. And once a week, every Monday, get on her table, and it it was usually the day before chemo. My the day before my chemo days. And, for about an hour, she's doing this work to help move the energy in the human body and to help restore the flow of of energy in the body.
Marilyn:She did her training at Stanford. Stanford said, we don't know exactly how this works, but we know people who do it have better outcomes. Okay. When I heard that, I'm like, sign me up. And what's amazing is that she offers this for free, and she created a nonprofit called Healing Partners of the Central Coast.
Marilyn:So here I am, one of her early patients in this area. She was working up in the Bay Area doing this with with cancer patients, and it was free to cancer patients. You had cancer, you get healing touch. And so I got on her table once a week. There were times when I could not eat.
Marilyn:I was so nauseous from the chemo. I would go in. I'd see Margo for an hour, and I I'd get off that table, and I could feel like I think I could eat something. There were times just for the peace, just getting on a table, taking off your mom hat, your work hat, your wife hat, even the cancer hat. You're just lying there in a place where you are cared for, and it's it's absolutely gentle.
Marilyn:Because when you're in treatment, everything's so invasive. You're in this space where you're putting that nurturing back into the body, and you're getting still long enough to pay attention to your thoughts. Pay attention to the fears. Pay attention to what's coming up. Because the rest of the week, I was a busy mom, busy with the kids.
Marilyn:Still, even though I'm in treatment, I'm still taking them to school. Life doesn't stop. So this was, I believe, integral to my healing. I really do. In fact, the story about the blood clot in the hospital, the night that I had that whole incredible experience with my dad and with God and these messages of believe, Margo had come and worked on me that night.
Marilyn:And my sister, who's a hospice nurse, was watching. And she said when Margo walked in the door, it was the first time in those eight days that my sister saw my body relax and kind of melt into the into the bed. And I do remember seeing her face and thinking, oh my gosh. My angel's here.
Morgan:How beautiful is that?
Marilyn:It was so beautiful. And maybe, maybe, just maybe, that moment of her being at the hospital at the bedside was we went into that old dance. We went into this familiar place together, and I was able to relax enough to even acknowledge my father's spirit. Acknowledge my body was able to relax enough to allow me to get back in touch with some place inside myself beyond all that fear.
Morgan:What a blessing.
Marilyn:So it's a blessing. So I ended up taking, healing touch courses at Stanford and became a, a provider to other cancer patients. And so now I have this practice, in my studio, and I get to give back to cancer patients through our program, Healing Partners of the Central Coast. I sit on their board, and I and I am in charge of their big fundraising event.
Morgan:You throw a great fundraiser.
Marilyn:Oh, thank you. We call ourselves the party girls, so we we love to throw a good party.
Morgan:I'll back that up.
Marilyn:Thank you. Thank you. But it's this this has all been because of Margo Baker. She has kept this as a service to cancer patients for free. It's one thing they don't have to think about.
Marilyn:They don't have to pay for. They come and they and their caregivers too get free sessions as well. So the providers, all of us, we do this voluntarily, and it is the most fulfilling work. It is a deep dive, and I feel really privileged to be able to pay it forward. It's it's remarkable.
Morgan:It really is.
Marilyn:It's a blessing.
Morgan:It really is. And what a way to give back.
Marilyn:Yeah. It it feels right Ugh. On so many levels. And I get to be part of this community. I always say this community of of providers and people are in this space.
Marilyn:It's just that it's ego free. These people are not doing this to feed their egos. And there are very few places, I think, in this world right now where you can be in a space where people aren't competing with each other or they're not everyone's really aligned from a heart centered space to just make it easier on the cancer patient in treatment. Because what oncologists are doing now I mean, when you have a medical doctor who's prescribing healing touch as a prescription, writing it out for their patients.
Morgan:You can't deny it.
Marilyn:No. And oncologists are saying they see less heat buildup around radiation, less nausea with, chemotherapy, and much faster times after surgery. Much faster healing times after surgery. So it's pretty remarkable.
Morgan:That's incredible. And and I think you've made it very clear why it works. It's Yeah. It sounds so deeply healing.
Marilyn:Yes. It it is.
Morgan:I love that. And those are really beautiful takeaways from what is just scratching the surface of your story. That that's what makes me so happy that you're writing a book.
Marilyn:I know. It's true, and that's a little scary to think about. But, yeah, there's a lot there's a lot in this book. There is a lot. There's a lot of drama.
Marilyn:There are some big moments of I I say shock and awe, but and and it's true because that's life too. But throughout, there is so much love coming through those dark moments. There's still love there. And I think that's the power of of sharing this is that when you can still see the light through that, through those moments, through those times where you feel like, maybe I can't get up again, but there's still a little crack that opens to the light, and we have to choose to move through that.
Morgan:Well, I think that message is your gift to the world. And I'm so excited for the world to receive more of your wisdom and story, and that message is also what it feels like to be around you. You're a reminder to choose the light, and it has just been a pure privilege, and again, a deep honor to be able to steward this conversation, and and bring more of your background to our audience, and this is just the beginning.
Marilyn:Oh, Morgan. You did such a great job, and I just wanna thank you. The privilege is all mine. I mean, I feel like we're doing some work together that feels it does not feel like work. It really every second of the day I've never had I I don't think I've ever worked in a way that feels like pure flow.
Marilyn:And you're a huge part of bringing that kind of energy to this mission. And I feel absolute, gratitude and and love for you to have said yes to coming on this journey with me.
Morgan:Well, thank you from the bottom of my heart, and I couldn't agree more. The alignment is pure. The mission is genuine and onward.
Marilyn:Yeah. Onward and upward. Absolutely. Thank you, Morgan.
Morgan:Thank you, Marilyn.
Marilyn:Wow. As I sit here fifteen years later, first of all, I wanna thank Morgan for doing such an excellent job with that interview. Listening back to the conversation just reminds me of how far my family has come. My husband and I, just celebrated our thirtieth wedding anniversary in August. Our kids who were seven and four when I was diagnosed are now in college.
Marilyn:My my son actually just graduated from UC Berkeley last December, and he's doing his grad year at Georgia Tech. He's a tight end, number 88, playing for this undefeated team that is on a role. We've been having a blast traveling across the country, supporting him, and our daughter who is in Vermont playing volleyball and thriving as, you know, this incredible student who's getting a minor in, art as well and following her passions. It has just been a joy and a delight and a miracle that I get to be here today being still so connected and enjoying their process because they both they live intentionally too. And for all of you out there who are going through the struggles through cancer or any other big struggles and you're worried about your kids, I can tell you those big moments in their lives, those scary moments help shape them.
Marilyn:And I know my kids don't sweat the small stuff the way they could in life. They know what matters and they are intentional about making certain decisions for themselves. And they're not drama kids. They they steer away from drama. They are so heart centered and so beautiful.
Marilyn:So it just reminds me that no matter what we went through together as a family, even those really tough times that something special, something beautiful, comes out of that process and and makes us stronger, makes us more wise, helps us make decisions, in a more clear level headed way. And I I just I am grateful now looking back that we all made it through those moments together. And I also want to give a special shout out to Tom, my husband who has absolutely been a rock through and through. He was there in those early years after my diagnosis when I would say he'd say, what can I do? And I'd say just keep things as normal as possible for the kids.
Marilyn:He would coach their little league games. He kept us going through those really tough financial times. He just shows up. And the most memorable moment for me in this whole journey was when I lost my hair right after the double mastectomy. I was taking a shower and all of my hair just sort of came off at the same time.
Marilyn:And I looked down in the shower and there's a pile of hair around my feet. It was so disturbing and so shocking. I stepped out of the shower and I looked in the mirror and I hear I had just had that double mastectomy and I I'm suddenly bald. And I just broke down and started crying. I could not recognize the woman in the mirror.
Marilyn:And I was so scared. And I I just kinda dropped to my knees and my husband heard me crying and he he was running in to the the bedroom. And at the last second, I locked the door. I didn't want him to see me this way because I was afraid if he saw me this way, maybe he couldn't unsee it and maybe it would change everything between us. And he kept begging, Marilyn, please please let me in.
Marilyn:And there was this moment again like a threshold. If I open this door, what will happen? And something in me, I don't know, there was this courage I summoned up and I unlocked the door and kinda fell to the floor. He opened it and stepped through and just met me where I was. He just got on the floor.
Marilyn:He held me, and he kept whispering my ear over and over again. You are so beautiful. All I see is your strength. And he said it so many times. I think I started to be able to believe what he was saying.
Marilyn:And I just whispered back, thank you for saying exactly what I needed to hear. And he said, oh, sweetheart, thank you for showing me how. And that is human connection. That is love. That is intimacy.
Marilyn:And that moment of choosing to open that door to him and his moment of choosing to walk through the door and giving me what I needed changed everything. And I have held on to that moment. I go back to that moment when I need to remind myself that that love is there. So I just wanna thank all of you for listening to this story. I want you to know that I cherish this connection that we're having through this podcast medium because, again, this mission to want people to not feel so alone is coming straight from my heart.
Marilyn:And I'm just so grateful for all of you who are tuning in and connecting and writing us and connecting through our Facebook group, is I Choose Happy, the I Choose Happy Facebook group, which you are all welcome to join. We would love to have you there. And I wanna thank the Comfy for sponsoring us, because that's what's really been able to that support from the Comfy has really been able to to kick this off. So thanks to all of you. We will see you back here next week.
Marilyn:Take care of yourselves and take care of each other.