Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Ordinary people who have been transformed by an extraordinary God tell their stories of what happened and what their lives are like now.
Cailin: Welcome everyone to
Faith and Purpose podcast.
Each episode of this podcast contains the
personal testimony of an ordinary person
transformed by an extraordinary God.
My name is Caitlin and I'm
here to introduce this podcast
for my friend Jesse Duke.
Jesse is a husband, father, author,
life recovery guide, lay counselor,
and small group leader, but his
most important role is disciple.
As a disciple of Jesus.
Jesse created this podcast to help other
believers tell their faith stories.
We'll be hearing the personal
testimonies of all sorts of people
who have one thing in common,
Jesus has transformed their lives.
Jesus used parables because he created
us to learn best through story.
And as we listen to how God has worked
in others lives, we find encouragement
and inspiration for our own faith walk.
Whether you are already a believer, or
just a curious seeker, we believe that
as you listen to these stories, you will
be encouraged on your own faith journey.
We are sure that God can speak to you
through one of these episodes, and that
you will see that our Heavenly Father
truly works all things together for
our good, When we simply love and trust
him if you are currently going through
a trial We believe that you will come
to see that your troubles Heartbreaks
and failures are not gravestones, but
stepping stones into new life in Christ.
Here's Jesse with today's guest
Hey, this is Jesse Duke.
Before we get into the interview
with Keisha Nell today, I just wanted
to explain that he's had several.
Surgeries on his throat.
So some of his words don't
quite make it Into our audios.
So I hope you'll be able to understand his
story because he's really got a great one.
Thank you.
Let's give it a listen.
Welcome everybody.
Today, we have my friend Keith
Chanel is going to tell his story.
How are you doing, Keith?
It's an amazing day today, man.
I have no complaint.
Tell us about yourself.
Where were you born?
What was your childhood like
and your story in general?
Okay.
I was born February 5th, 1963 in
a little place called Rock Hill,
South Carolina in York County.
And I was one of the fortunate ones.
I wasn't born in the hospital.
I got born in the house I was raised in.
So that was a beautiful thing there.
I had my mother's side of the parent, her
parents were, they're Cherokee Indian.
And my, my dad's side of
the parents are immigrants.
They're, they're German.
I grew up on this little dairy farm,
like, and I can remember one of
my fondest memories of my grandma.
And one of the things that my,
on my mother's side, she, she was
always into doing kind of the.
The Indian ritualistic as far as Native
American, she, she took in, I got
burned one time on my dad's motorcycle.
She talked fire out
of, yeah, 10 years old.
I remember her talking fire out of my
leg where it got caught on that manifold.
It was amazing lady.
And she did, I had, I don't know, I
was about 11, I think, and something,
something that I don't know what
happened, but I got covered.
I had 40 something more
just on the tops of my head.
And, uh, he called this person and
handed the phone to me and this
person, I don't know what they were,
I couldn't tell you what language
they were using to speak here.
And on the first full moon,
when the dew fell, we'd go
out there and wash our hands.
I ain't had a wart since then.
On Sundays, we'd all go out to
this creek down there by the house,
after church, and have church.
But then the last of them, nine o'clock
to one o'clock, you can even saw
them batting at the level, but we'd
go out there to the creek and it had
a natural spring and we'd throw the
watermelons off and then let them chill.
Grandpa done did the thing with the
chicken that morning and plucked
them, we got them all dressed out.
We had them fried chicken
down there by the creek.
We always had to take
turns and read script.
And I used to get so angry, I just
couldn't understand the reader.
This is at seven years old, and I
remember my dad was gonna whip me, cuss,
and my grandma said, let me hold the
young man for a minute, and she pulled
me to the side, and then she traced.
She says, now it's your tray, I
promise you, you'll do better.
And I remember praying, and I was angry,
and trying, and not wanting to do it.
The funny thing is when I sat down, I
read that whole, we was in the book of
best, so it was so, she was my biggest
influence towards God because my dad's
side of the family, they, it ain't that
they didn't believe, but they didn't care.
Mom's side of the family, they
straight Southern Baptist all the way.
No what changing?
Any of that.
But it was, it was a great upbringing.
They didn't know, they didn't
believe in TV and stuff like that
right there because it was a way
for the government to brain watch.
Fox spread propaganda, so I grew up
without TVs and uh, we had radios.
We only could listen to
them on Sunday night.
We used to have that old country station.
Come on there.
It's all like old country.
We used to listen to that,
the countdown on Sunday night.
So we spent a lot of time, and
they did a lot of homeschooling.
That's how I escaped.
I was raised on a hundred acre dairy farm.
We had We didn't just have
cows, we had horses, we had the
back 40 that they talked about.
It's what they called it, the back
40, that's where all the fresh
vegetables and stuff were planted.
There was something going on
seven days a week, just about
24 hours a day on that farm.
It becomes mundane when you're born
into it and you do it all the time.
It does.
So you learn, cause I wasn't, I
wasn't a hunter like my dad's son.
They believed in killing everything.
I just, I killed one animal.
I killed that deer.
I was like, okay, this ain't me.
I'm just, I can't do, if I'm starving,
it'd be different, but I ain't starving.
Yeah, I never was, but.
Growing up, man, at five years old,
I can get in my first country store
where everybody goes and sit at.
And Sundays and Saturday evenings
and checker games and little card
games and turkey shootout back.
And there's a little old
handgun in your own shelf.
Oh, my bad.
You know, you can't have it.
So when my mom turned her back.
I grabbed a gun and run, we got in the
car, locked the door, and tore it open.
Uh, getting a weapon in front of all
those people wasn't easy, but having
to go apologize, and give, and me
handing that gun back to the store
owner, I was, it was a terrible day.
I did not want to give it back, and
I did not want to tell that man I
was sorry for taking his property.
And I knew not to when I was a
student, and I knew to lock the
door, you know what I'm saying?
As a five year old, so that's some
kind of environment upbringing that's
involved in something that I do.
But like I said, I had a mother's side of
the family, were beautiful people for God.
When my grandmother passed
at 11 years old, I was 12.
At 12 years old, I got into something
that took me on a journey up until about
Three years ago, I, I played with that
hair hole a long time ago, 12 years old,
I got my first shot and I knew then that
I knew then I didn't need no problem.
I mean, it was, I don't, it ain't, and I
didn't do everything yet, but that was my
go to, that was what I went to bed with.
That's what I got up with,
that's what made my decision.
How did you come across hair
in the country at 12 years old?
I'm a 12th generation jarhead.
I grew up down there on Parris Island
for a few years and all the men on
my side, the family were Marines
and my mother's brother, he was
a Marine and his name was Sherm.
He came back from over at
Nall and came back with that.
I called him a few times and I was,
I was playing around, experiment
with some stuff like that right then
and weed, but I wasn't, wasn't a
whole lot of things I was doing, but
when I did that, I didn't need to.
That was a wrap, you know, you know, um,
I continue to do what I'm doing and walk
in the grace of God, you know, I'll be
at my three year mark of January 5th.
We do recover in spite of decisions we
make and the attitude we have come in.
I wasn't, I was always, I
knew there was more to life.
Going to work, running a farm,
being a part of family, that made
me just knew there was more to life.
Growing up, when I got, at
14, let me start there, 14,
committed a crime against family.
False imprisonment, hostage taking,
sustaining, pointing, pointing and
discharging a firearm at my step.
And they sent me, I spent four years
in there, and while I was in there,
they sent me to this, uh, evaluation.
I didn't do very well there,
instead I went to a reformatory
school called John G.
Rich's Reformatory in Columbia, South
Carolina, and it was a work reformatory.
It took care of cattle.
We just made that buddy.
I was there and I just would not be
in touch with reality, not knowing how
to deal with withdrawals at that time.
And even now, I don't know if I really
went to a whole lot of withdrawals,
but I know that's all I thought about.
I didn't go to a physical
sickness, wasn't there, but the
physical obsession never left me.
So I, I did some good behavior,
got into this uh, specialty
shop, did a little extra thing.
Got me a knife, saw blade,
took it back to the barracks.
Gentleman that was going to go with
me just got scared and told, and
I didn't cut through some bars.
It was a wrap then, so now, I
get to go to, so there you go.
Then I get to go to the big boy
place, hang out with my lads.
Always treating you.
From there, it was, there was
no looking back as far as the
lifestyle that I was going into.
It wasn't forced on me.
I showed them everything I've
ever done, but I don't think I've
ever committed an innocent sin.
So when I came out, I met, I met
this lady in the club, got married,
that lasted about nine months.
And then I started to work for a company
in Montreal called Procal Racing.
It was decals and I started
putting decals on NASCAR.
The very first car I ever did was for
Harvey Gantt, had a big old red mountain
on the top of it, uh, Folger's Mountain
Road, was, was the name of it on this car,
and so I was traveling around doing decals
on NASCAR, Rusty Waller, Bill Elliott,
I got to meet all those guys and it came
through and NASCAR did, it came through.
You know, you're a drug test and I
failed, so they gave me six months.
You gotta get cleaned up and what
you gotta do to come on back.
You know what I did?
I wasn't meant to do
what I was supposed to.
Trust in the mind of God, lie
about everything, and forge
some paperwork and get on back.
Pay for some paperwork and go back.
I wasn't there long, and they
come through and did another one.
And when they did this one, and I
failed, they escorted me out of the pit.
And I can't ever go back.
They say it's a life thing,
but I can't work ever again.
It was a great, and after this happened in
Pocono, Pennsylvania, I had a great start.
You know, my early 20s,
I had a great start.
I ain't gonna blame it on what I
was using, but it helped me do the
things I wanted to do, so I didn't
have to, you know, think about,
have a conscience, I would say.
And after a while, That
humanity switch stays off.
When humanity switches off, and you
don't speak of nothing but hate, there's
no joy, there's no forgiveness, there's
no empathy for mankind of any, no.
Everybody I came into contact with
after that appointment was nice,
especially my parents, my siblings,
because they're doing everything
they can to save their soul.
He deserves better because he
can do better, because they
know he's better than that.
But he don't kill them.
Uh, what about your grandmother?
What about God?
Where God at?
I ain't seen him in a minute
since I took my grandmother.
Resentment.
I didn't know if that's what it
was at the time, and I didn't know
why I didn't have to prepare you.
See, I know you real.
I don't care if you did nothing for me.
You took something from me.
You ain't gave me nothing.
You didn't see that.
I said that to this God
of mine for a long time.
So I ended up, uh, I
ended up getting married.
I had two beautiful children
by the time I was a month old.
I was the only one
holding them in my hand.
It's a beautiful thing.
You know, your first and your second.
Whatever boy.
Take them home.
When you take them home for the
first time, they'll be chill.
It's a beautiful thing.
I was blessed.
I got a son and a daughter that
still didn't change my life.
Now I'm trying to keep a job on the
front for my family and everybody
around me in the neighborhood.
And here in intervals, I would
jump in and out the church, but
it never, it just never showed.
I just, and what I'm going to tell you is
that I didn't know is that I just said,
no, I didn't know how to communicate.
I did.
I didn't know how to communicate honestly.
But see, I finally got it.
Where it says in the script,
should be angry and do not see it.
I'd like to know how you do that.
When I found out Jesse, now
sir, is sitting in prison.
And I'm waiting to come home now.
And I'm like, I don't know
about six months, seven months
away from being in the U.
S.
I get a phone call about my mother.
I just walked out of the O.
T.
dog.
Went out there in the middle
of the Redfield, yards flowing.
He's telling the other COs,
just give them a minute.
It's for me to talk about
love and God help you, God.
Really, this is, really,
you let me get this close.
It's 15 calendars in prison, and I
didn't let my mom come see me, but twice.
She got no business being back there.
I did that.
I'll give my time to come home.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah, let me get this straight.
So you were angry at God because he
took your grandmother and you had a
resentment there, and then while you
were in prison, your mother died.
Yes.
You said about six months
before you were to get out.
Yes, sir.
So you're angry at God
because, because of that.
Yes, sir.
Very.
Totally understandable.
Yeah.
Now, now I'm telling you, you know, if
they shouldn't get out in six months.
You helped me do this.
You helped me do, cause I knew he
helped me get through that time.
And I'll be glad to share
some of that with you too.
I did a hard time, but I chose to,
but what I'm saying is about this
angry, be angry, do not sin is that
I had to be honest with it was okay.
At that point in time to say, if you
God, it was okay at that point in time
to say you took something you ain't
gave nothing second time I'm counting.
I'm keeping count with God now.
Okay.
Now ain't telling y'all the grace,
just counting all the mistakes that
he made in my eyes like, right.
So anyway, let me back up just before I
go finish that story out is that my mother
remarried to this guy and he's a really
good guy for the first five or six years.
It was some hard times because I
fought with this man every day.
I mean physically fought with him.
Then one day, man, he said
to ask God to help him quit.
And if he couldn't quit, kill him.
And he never took
another drink after that.
I don't know, seven, eight years, he
probably wanted to, I wish he had a draft.
That's how miserable he was
and everybody around him.
But then he came down with
the same kind of cancer.
Came down with cancer.
But then we had throat and neck
cancer and he had lung cancer.
So I decided I'm gonna get clean
so I can spend some time with him.
I can't go around and use him.
I just can't.
Because I can't go long
enough without having him.
And I can't take, that's
the mama's house thing.
Or my dad.
I flew down to Charleston,
South Carolina, far surf.
I got through this program, this little 28
day thing, and I go, I move into a Oxford
house, as a matter of fact, down there.
I get a call that dad's doing real bad.
He's in the hospital, he's
on this breathing thing.
Two days later, he calls me, and I
talk to him, and he's, I'm not going
to walk away from this son of a bitch.
And he says, but you can't
come over and stay clean.
Don't come at all.
You know, first thing, see, God, I
hate to say this, but I tell the truth.
First thing that comes to my
mind, who the hell are you, D?
You're my stepdad, you're in my room.
Father, Grandad.
This man come by my house, got me out
of bed, took me to the doctor, brought
me home, bought my prescription.
And I was so sick, he couldn't.
That's who this man is that
I'm feeling this way toward.
I went and picked her up.
My dad went and picked up the right D.
And three days later, I'm still
getting texts and calls from Mom.
Come home, come home.
She says, Keith, you need to come home.
He's hanging on just for you, son.
Don't make this man do this.
So I got a little bit of a
conscience, thank you, God.
I jumped on the bus and went to sleep.
Now, mind you, I'm on a two week run.
No shower, no food, just,
you know what I'm saying?
No change in the clothes, no shit even.
Just spent 16 hours on the bus.
Ha ha ha.
Straight up in the hospital.
Ended up seeing my dad.
He told me, he said, Go home, man.
He said, I love you,
but I can't take this.
Meh.
I went home.
I did the shower and came on back.
He got real bad and refused
the medicine, the pain, trying
to get us out from the pain.
And, uh, they were trying
to give him more medicine.
I wasn't letting him get medicine.
I ended up fighting and going to jail.
He didn't start getting out of jail.
Uh, you
know, it's a couple of weeks
going on there and it's a big
loss and a big fight going on.
My dad had that asbestos
can from the shipyard.
I used to work there
with him all the time.
Uh, he has other children
from another marriage.
And, uh, when he passed because
he didn't leave them anything in
the wheel, The settlement comes
after the will, their entirety.
I don't care man.
At that point.
I'm not capable of carrying that.
So, and it was them that
I got in a fight with.
It's a hospital.
And had me arrested.
I didn't care about the money.
I signed the release.
I don't want none.
And all them people.
I don't know what they ended up with.
If it wasn't much.
It's just 90, 000.
Each one of them got eight of them.
Something like that.
Mom got a good bit more than that.
But,
I had.
During this waiting period.
I'm not going to go into
detail, but I, my son,
your voice dropped off there.
I didn't hear that.
He come to live with me where I
was living at, which wasn't too
far from where his mother and his
sister lived at, and the music heavy.
I can't, just can't control it.
But it wasn't a control ever anyway,
but I thought of many, pretty good.
But that's, he comes to live with
me, you know, doing things around and
showing him things, you know, kind of
told me about it, favorite about it.
Parents got involved.
Mother got involved.
All in this one sixth wage.
Anyway, they all left.
They took my,
put in the bathroom.
Wanted me a tub of water.
Mm hmm.
Both my ribs.
Mm.
Cause I did this, I did that.
Mm hmm.
Mama said because I never said
anything during this whole thing.
You know, and I got slapped a few times.
I deserved everything and more than that.
You know what I'm saying?
Cause in person, I wasn't there.
Like, and their life too.
I just stood there.
And that's your whole damn same thing.
Look, so mom says she
knew something was up.
So her and my brother
came back to the house.
Done.
I had 14 stitches on the inside of
one of them with 11 stitches on that.
I mean, staples on the outside
on the left, but anyway, come
out and we do this way in my day,
I just can't do it.
Okay.
It put me on the spot.
My mom's sister found this place.
In West Palm Beach, Florida, Joshua
Treatment Center, two year program just
for me and Erwin at Don't Hold the 16
People, the waiting list to get in.
We look.
Mom's sister sent him a video,
told him what happened, what's
going on, and they took.
So I went down there, met, and I
did my thing there, and during this
time there, I've got marriages.
We was, we got, oh my,
I'm on my fifth marriage.
So it shows you what I know about
relationships, it helps me anyway.
And what I'm going to tell you Jess
is that whenever I did all this man
and I went down to West Palm Beach,
I had been to school with Clemson
University for a little while.
I finished my degree down here in
Fort Lauderdale at Barry University,
which is Number one school in
the Southeast for counselors.
That's what I wanted to go and get.
I went and got my CAS and I went to work
on Singer Island, a place called Beehop.
And it's one of the most prestigious
treatment centers in West Palm Beach.
But anybody from 14 to 18, and most of
the people that come there are all from up
northern, never anybody from that state.
So I go to work there.
Let me back up there just
a minute before you go on.
So you, did you finish this?
Two years, Joshua House.
I finished the program and, and I ended
up going through their program to get the
house, and I ended up buying the house
while I was down there, moved into the
house, they helped me, uh, they helped
me finish up my schooling and then they
helped me get the job because we you,
your school, when you say your schooling,
you mean like a bachelor's degree?
I got a bachelor's degree in
psychology with an emphasis
and a chemical addiction count.
Okay.
All right.
I just wanted to clear, just wanted
to get a clearer about, oh, I'm sorry.
Sorry.
I finished that.
Yeah.
I finished the program and it was,
it's really a four year program.
It's two years of being in house.
It's two years of being outta house.
So I did all that and at this
time I decided this ain't working.
This the low team, $42,000 a year job
to start off a, we had great benefits,
but I'm like, this ain't me, but I said,
it's some great, here it goes though.
I already had some guys, I just
haven't been using them as a resource.
So I, I reached out and started doing
moving stuff on the side, illegal stuff,
making money on the side, keeping a
good job, there's a front, there's
a lady that comes through there.
When she graduates the program, we end
up starting dating, that's totally cool.
Everything across the board.
So I ended up going to meet her family.
When I went to meet her
family, they were the family.
They lived in a little place in
central Florida and I knew something
was up, but I didn't know what.
So after a couple visits, her dad
took me to this little cellar he had.
They grew stuff.
I learned how to grow.
Once I learned how to grow, you can't.
I can't.
I can't be a part of
illegal activity like that.
And not partake of it.
I can't just, so now I'm using it.
It doesn't take long for me to
go back to what I like best.
Now I got the heroin and I,
you know, I didn't do this.
I didn't do this almost two years.
That's all, you know,
accumulating a lot of stuff.
You don't know what to do with it, right?
So I wasn't educated in the area of
how to clean it and put it somewhere
safe and make it work, so now you got
stuff buried in it, you know, whatever.
Outside the house, like
everybody else, we walk inside.
Man, that's two of them saying, there's
so much immaturity in that lifestyle.
People didn't even want to ever
make out there for a very long time.
So much, no, there's no planning.
It's just, I'm going to tell you
about just when I tell y'all this 2002
prison for killing somebody
green 28, 30, 000 a man.
And during this process,
I get shot five times.
And I said, I've been in and out
of the institution all my life.
Ended up, uh, he ended
up taking a plea deal.
Spent three years fighting this case.
Everything crossed the board from
the beginning until I actually
went to the court with 25 of them.
25 men.
They took everything.
I gave them everything that I had
that I wasn't supposed to have.
Houses, cars, a little bit of money.
And the wife, she had to divorce me and
testify against me so they could take it.
A no blong.
It doesn't matter.
I up with a 15-year-old son.
I don't know, but what anybody else
thinks that's inconceivable in, in
his mind here, 15 years because I've
never been someone who's calculated
to, especially growing up in, in go.
I've never worldwide, so I don't care
about time, but about three years into
my sentence it said either I'll never
come in hiding, never swear my charged
with wife, put me at a violent camp.
I with Martin Ci.
West Palm Beach, Martin
Correctional Institute.
It's a closed custody
and level seven care.
I was there for about three years and
uh, just me just going with the flow, not
really caring about anything back then.
Time was different.
I had gotten some ink put on me.
Someone else took it as a disrespect
and it was a gang member and he thought
I was being boastful with ink that I
had put on me and I got stabbed twice.
And I got put on one of them
bags for a couple of weeks.
I wouldn't, uh, I wasn't
going to take the cuss.
Yo, I had a Cuban.
Julio Anstevero.
Great dude.
God of luck.
And he says, I know what you're gonna do.
He says, but if you can do this
your way, you ain't gonna die.
You can handle it.
I got a suggestion for you now that
this away, everything will work out.
So I listened to it.
They got, if you ever seen anybody
on the streets that has a Z like
this across the forehead, if they
have a J, it goes from the corner of
the mouth up to the end of the ear.
And they tell you they've been in prison.
That's what they do to snitch.
That's what they do to people who chattel.
That's what they do to people who
do things against the community
that they're not supposed to do.
I made me a saint and
in there to have bars.
I didn't have.
Wall, they had bars on the front of the
rooms and I cut a Z on his forehead.
He went, he got up and went straight
and told, and it put me on a C M, put,
it gave me, C M closed management.
That means I'm in a room, I'm in
a eight by eight by eight room,
24 hours a day, seven days a week.
And they got different levels.
And I went on a level one, which is
the highest level you can go in on.
And you get to come out of the
room for an hour, once a week, once
a week, but the week, yes, sir.
And I spent 18 months on CM1 and then I
got to go to CM2 for about six months.
And then they released me, but
then they put you on a, you know,
what they call a reentry camp.
So when we've been on lockdown and all
that, they put you into a reentry camp.
But at that point, yes, I
didn't care, man, I'm not much.
I was a statue of a man, father,
and I wasn't good with father, dad.
And it's just, and I stayed
in the bar, but I didn't get
game counseling, getting mad.
They couldn't take anything
from me but my life, and I,
living in there, I didn't have.
Also, I thought.
After I finished the C.
E.
U.
and camp, they took it, uh, they sent
me to another one in there with a guide.
And, uh, he used to come and sit
on my bed and bring what they call
a bowl of, uh, he'd cook a little
brick, what they call a brick.
How we cook our soups in prison, they
bring it and he sat down and he'd
come back, would never say nothing.
He'd just sit down and eat that
soup and read scripts, get up and
leave, take the bowl with him.
I never watched one bowl,
never cooked anything.
And he did this for a couple of
months and I come here from New
York one day and he's just packing
on my bed because I'd been asking
questions about getting into seminary.
Went and talked to the pastor up there.
Church and he says, let's see
what your scores look like.
So I did, I took some pre scored test work
and did very well on the lab that I did.
And, uh, so I got a sponsor, the sponsor
is going to pay for my scholarship, so.
I started going to the Jacksonville
Baptist Theological Seminary.
Now, this is online courses
that we have to do the chapel.
They don't get computer
thinking behind the fence.
So I'm up there and I do the
courses and I do very well.
But during this time, I'm still
showing how they value time.
Knowing who they are.
I had to do, write certain essays
and I would intentionally throw
jabs at who's the seminary I'm
going to, Southern Baptist.
I would throw jabs.
You know, things like that right there,
and it was borderline disrespect,
but, you know, they tolerated and they
degraded by three professors doing a
report like this and it never retired.
There was one who loved me to
death, told me, you don't know how
to do the light that I can shine.
Yeah.
Gratitude of God just has no meaning.
It doesn't.
And so I ended up, I ended up graduating
there and I did very well then I ended
up walking away with a bachelor's degree.
In systematic theology, with
an emphasis in ex genesis, the
interpretation of scripture.
And I studied both the languages
of Hebrew, and I only got through
one of the bricks in the U Test.
I didn't complete the other one,
but those are the things that, but
what I was doing, I wanted all the
information I could get on God so
I could form this opinion about it.
I mean, I researched, I mean, and what
come to happen was that When he told
me that I knew I wasn't meant to be,
and I didn't know what, so I took and
I started doing a little bit of rec
time preaching, you know what I mean?
I go out there with my trusty
sword and hold, and then
just start putting stuff on.
One of the first sermons I ever
did, and this is just, I did a
call, the plate of life treats fool.
And this comes out of Luke
T, 38 to 42, back at Birdson.
Martha and Mary, Jason's the
stepdaughter in the house to visit with.
And one of them's up, just cleaning
and cooking and moving stuff
around, nothing, sitting there
just loving him, loving on him.
The plate of life can become full and
there's things that everything's in
our life for me should have a priority.
No matter what I'm doing,
everything should have a priority
and can work its way down.
So we see one sister doing the priority
thing and sitting with the master.
You see the other ones get, she's
so busy preparing for him and she
acting like he ain't even there.
All right.
Right.
You know what I'm saying?
So he told us about, she's too distracted.
She's so distracted with serving and
setting up for him to stay in the exhort.
So that's one of the first things
that I ever told him was the, but
that's, and I, but I look at that
today, being in recovery, today, I
don't struggle with the physical.
Desires to you or drink, but I
have, because I don't pay attention
and I don't, and I don't want
to keep more of a conscious mind
that, Oh my God, these gifts of
recovery will take me out of here.
Cause you, a, when you, when
they lose their priority, your
gratitude, they know what they
become being very important, not you.
So anyway, just that part there,
man, when I came up, finished
school, get a little bit of trouble.
It shouldn't be down south.
I'm up here, I was up here at Putton
CI and they sent me down to Hardy
CI, which is another CM field.
That's where they put Nucleus there.
And I spent my last year and a half
there, two years there, I think,
and that's where I really got into
doing that type, that style of
teaching, uh, pre teaching, teaching.
And I used to teach Sunday school
every Saturday and Sunday morning
there, and it made a difference.
Just, yeah.
And I put all that aside and they
gave me that, blah, blah, blah, blah.
And then they took and put me
in the box too, for 30 days.
So I come out of prison, did the game
plan before she died was to come home,
South Carolina and take care of them.
But after she passed away, you know,
this is during COVID in 20, right?
During COVID, yeah, hard.
They're not giving bus tickets to inmates.
I haven't been.
Now, they're giving me a bus ticket from
Central Florida to Jacksonville, but
then I've got to get a Uber or whatever
to go across state line, then I can get
another bus and go on into South Carolina.
But they won't.
So I get here to Jacksonville,
I'm not sure what to do, man.
This Lighthouse Ministries in
Jackson, decided they want to
take me in and give me a chance.
They're so ridiculous, I just
couldn't, I couldn't do it, I'm
sorry, I just couldn't do it.
I ended up leaving.
When I left there, I
just, I went new, period.
Overdose three times in eight days,
say, here's the, let me tell you, let
me tell you about grades, me, say me
and TK, man, first time he gave me, got
me out of the front yard, and then I
was getting up, so it was no big deal,
second time he came and get me, was in
the house, and he done put me on the
gurney, I thought my way off that gurney,
third time, got me out by the pool.
He says, I don't care
what you say, what you do.
You're not dying on my
watch, you can die tomorrow.
You're going to the hospital today.
He kept me strapped down in that
garden, took me to the hospital.
Let me interrupt you for a second.
Where'd you OD on?
Fentanyl.
I didn't know it was fentanyl.
No, I was shooting heroin.
I thought, yeah, I thought it
was all heroin, but it wasn't.
It was fentanyl in there.
So.
When he came and took me to the hospital,
man, they sent me up to a Baptist
in Jacksonville on the second floor,
the middle floor, for violent people.
And it's been 20 something days there.
And then they shipped me up to
the third floor for treatment.
Because I had signed up for it.
They did the treatment, and they
got me in touch with the three
quarter warehouse here on the island.
It's Green's house.
And I went there and when I got
there, here's what we're taking.
And I told you about all this
crap I've done up till now, right?
Intentional harm, intentional
disrespect for the lives and
people and all of that, right?
So now I get here and I'm not
there, but a week and I get coke.
I didn't know it.
I go to the hospital and they're
like, you got COVID, but your
oxygen level ain't low enough.
This guy's got another two
points that we can admit you.
Yeah.
Before I can get back to the house,
they want to know where I'm at.
I tell them where I'm living.
They just got there
before I could get back.
They done called it.
But when I get back, all my stuff, and
it's raining now, this is in December
of 21, 20, something like that.
All my stuff's sitting in the front yard.
And he's telling me I got to leave.
I can't stay there.
I'm like, hold up, man.
What am I supposed to do?
You just come and got
me from the hospital.
Where am I?
He's like, I don't care what
you do, you can't stay here.
Get out of my yard.
So he called the police.
So when he called the police, I'm there.
So I go over to the church and on
the corner of 14th, the lady says,
I can't do nothing to you, son.
I'm sorry.
She gives me a tent and a sleeping
bag and there's all kinds of food,
dry goods and stuff in a box.
I said, take this.
I'm angry, man.
You know, really?
We got COVID.
So I cussed her out and by the time
the police come and it was one of
his, one of his people on the force.
He said, look, man, I
can't do nothing for you.
He said, my hands are tied, here's 40, get
you an Uber, and get across that bridge.
So I got in the Uber and I went
to, I went to a Jack's Caterpillar.
That's all I really remember, man,
when I woke up eight days later,
taking the tube out of it, I ended
up on, on the incubator, and then
I spent another six days in ICU.
So when you come out and you're
homeless, though, just during the
middle of that COVID bad, you ain't,
you're homeless, ain't got no address,
they got a little place where they're
treating homeless people or letting
homeless families stays out there.
Next to Middleburg and 103rd
over there, Old Middleburg Road.
They had this little place set up in
this little cow pasture like area.
And they had golf carts that
were patrolling around, yeah.
And they had these little, uh, things that
you use in the bathroom set up out there.
But they also had the ones
that had water and you could
walk and you'd go in and watch.
And, uh, and they'd bring food out
there and they had tents set up.
Like, almost like military, but
they were a little bit better.
Once your test know that if you can
leave, but if you wanted to leave and
you would actually sit at home and no,
no one there to pick you up, nowhere
to go, then they put you in jail.
Wow.
So I'm, no, I'm, so I take, I stay
there eight days, take the test and I'm
still pot stay there 10 more days to
take the test and I'm, and I come back
for Dealer Beach to Henry Greens house.
He has a program.
So I committed to six months
and I got missed spots.
I went to meetings every day.
I saved my money, got a job,
back in the sixth month I went my own way.
So,
started getting more
involved in the field.
Then, I don't know, somewhere
nine, ten months into the
program, my liver was messing up.
I damaged it bad.
I've been Hep C positive since 92.
I tried to interfere on
it and it wouldn't work.
The body rejected it.
This new stuff that got out,
ended up getting the due rate.
But anyway, I ended up
having to go to treatment.
The first thing I had
to go through was chemo.
What?
Therapy?
Chemotherapy.
Okay.
So I did the chemotherapy
and tell me it was hard.
It was this, what?
What was the chemo for at that?
Let me back up.
You had Covid, you got over Covid, and
then in, or you went back to Henry's
place and signed up for six months.
Okay.
Yes, I'm sorry.
So that's right.
Yeah.
So what did you get tested for?
I'm Hep C.
I'm, I'm, I have Hepatitis C.
I have chronic Hepatitis.
So I have to go in every now and
then and get treatment for it.
They're taking, they're flushing,
they're rejuvenating, whatever.
I'm doing, and I'm, anyway, I
end up coming to what they call
stage 4 fibrosis of the liver.
Which is scarring of it.
Now stage 4, I'm 70 something,
I'm 72, 73 percent clogged up.
That's why I'm having so much
trouble with the kidneys, the
intestines, and other things.
So they're taking, they do the
treatment it'd take, but during the
treatment, I don't know if you've ever
done it, but you know, I've done a
little bit of everything since then.
And now I know different, but chemotherapy
man's probably, it just, it takes you
some really dark places in your life.
The depression, incredible.
And it's, and I, it's just a little time
they stick in your vein, you sit there for
three or four hours and it runs through
me, and then two or three days later you
get sick, and you stay that way until you
get the next one, and you do it like that.
The chemotherapy was rough, so I
got really warm, and I had just
finished what maybe, I think I was 40
something days from changing troops.
Somewhere like that, and I gotta die,
I end up having this thing on the side
of my neck kick me, so I end up going
through the throat and neck, you know.
So now I'm doing radiation.
I went from 172 pounds down
to 115 pounds in eight weeks.
I had to start treating, but
I couldn't take any more.
And he told me, he said, man, you
need to get your fairies in order.
This old look good is for your kid.
I'm sorry, I'm doing the best I
can, but I'm just telling you.
You go, I go get all this paperwork, power
of attorney, take care of a cremation.
And it's just things that need to
be done so the family don't have,
because they got enough to worry
about, you know, and it kills me.
During this time, there was
just so much that went on.
I couldn't eat, throat completely shut up.
So I ended up having to get a tube
put in the eating tube to eat with.
And this, I finished that treat.
I'm not even, I hadn't finished,
to be honest with y'all, I got two
more treatments left, you know, I
get diagnosed with a colon cancer,
so they got to do surgery,
got to do a recovery.
So they got to go in
there and take it out.
And let me tell you how funny it is.
I love these doctors, man.
Right.
I go into surgery and when I come
back out, I just, this is all I
remember in I want you to know that
three of those cuts are mine and I
ain't paying him no attention, right?
But when I finally get around,
I'm like, I got seven cuts on me.
They had staples and stitches
in them, seven places.
And what it was is a machine that
attaches to you and four of them
and does the surgery and does it,
but it attaches to you and they
have to take it and stitch you up.
Yeah, but anyway, he goes in there and
takes that thing out, and he said he's
glad that he did, because he said it's
some really nasty stuff, and that was it.
They take it out, and I let the people
know that, uh, I have no problem with
taking anything for paying while I'm in
there, but limit it as much as you can.
And, and whatever you do, I don't
care what you give me for paying.
I don't want no delight.
No, none of that period.
And cause that would trigger night.
Ain't going to drop too fresh for me.
Best of that weekend in pain.
I kind of switch nursing.
This lady comes in there.
She just missed shot.
And I knew right away what she did.
And set me y'all.
I start cussing her out and I'm
down the same vents in river city.
And I'm trying to get up out my room.
You know, I told y'all don't give me that
stuff because it makes me rude, makes
me get very violent and I really don't.
So I did a few threatening moves
and they keep me from AMA and the
doctor come in there and release.
Now I'm just wish I'd have made you, sir.
Won't get in a wheelchair,
tell me they stick it up.
Nowhere.
I don't need y'all no If you had
began with this, I wouldn't be in
the situation I'm in right now.
I fall out there and go
walking out of the lobby.
I fall out.
Fall out of the lobby into the park.
I'm so medicated and can't
walk and baby's dumb.
I put Jess in there and the real
nurse helped get me up in the car.
I won't go back in.
I came home and I tried to move too fast.
I healed quick.
Scar tissue doubled almost.
And what it does is, then it's strange.
Yeah, they have to do certain stretch
exercises to be able to stretch it out.
But anyway, during all this time, I
want to teach something responsibly.
I love her to death.
I ain't got no problem with
taking you through the steps.
That's all I said.
I just want to, I want to understand the
steps the way you explained them when you
was up there doing them that Wednesday.
I went through every session with her.
She says, okay.
She says, but in order to do that, I need
you to tell me that you're committed to
belonging to the No Matter What Club.
Hmm.
I said, okay, sure.
No matter what, I won't pick up.
She says, now, because of who you are,
and the way you live, and the way you
take, and the way you come in at this
recovery, your lifestyle and this program
is going to test that theory one day, sir.
Hmm.
That's when all canceled.
I made sure that people didn't give
me anything they weren't supposed to.
I don't take stuff.
I don't take pain pills now.
I do have other alternative
stuff that I can take.
In years, I don't need the lighters
and more shooting and more time.
Prococet.
I took all the prescriptions.
I've told you how I live.
Shooting dope at 12.
Taking hostages at 14.
Going to prison till I'm 18.
And all the different marriages
and all the different successes.
I've had crazy, incredible breakthroughs.
Learning to live clean and sober is
the hardest thing I've ever done.
I've gotten clean and
sober so many times, Mr.
Jesse, I went to my very
first meeting in 1976.
Now, I had been, I had overdosed on some
baggy, sent me, and back then the detox
centers were in the state hospital.
This was in 76.
So they sent me to the Columbia
State Hospital, put me in
there for a 72 hour evaluation.
Took me 91 days to get out of
there, being a little smart.
Whatever you want to call me at that
point, you know what I'm saying?
By the choices I made, Paris
didn't raise me that way.
They didn't make me live that way.
Nobody.
I chose, at some point in time,
I didn't have to choose that way.
I had the drugs.
The years took that away.
It took an hour of choice.
If I had to choose, I chose that.
I didn't choose nobody else.
Nothing else was important.
But what I'm going to say
to you is, is that all this.
There, there's grace in the very
beginning of my first breakthrough.
Now there's grace in my life.
There's grace that I come from a
family that had the ying and the yang.
The good and the healthy
and the unhealthy.
You want to call it that idea.
And just as much as I
had a, he wasn't evil.
He just, he didn't know how to be a dad.
My real father.
As much as he was hateful and
disrespectful, my grandmother was
just, I had to be a spoke and have one
more of one of the others, like, yeah.
Say I was treated unfairly anytime like
that, it balanced out, it just, the
learning to communicate honestly.
God, that's why I'm able to be, sit
here and talk to you right now and be
in a sober state of mind, not just body.
I knew after a while.
After the second round of treatment
for cancer, I knew right then.
Cause I keep hearing people share about
struggling with drinking and using.
And I'm like, I'm not a struggling,
but I'm struggling living sober.
The behavior, the talk, and the way I act.
Sometimes you slur them down.
I'll let you think they're drinking.
Trolling that crazy man.
He's don't speak that at all.
Talking like that.
But see, God is showing how I can change.
I didn't, I spent six years being
the kind of person I am, so these
last, look, three years didn't
scratch the surf, but you know what?
It's enough to save me so I don't
have to drink, I mean, I've got to
work on learning how to keep the
friends that I have, not push them
away with my attitude, I tend to be
a very angry person when I'm in pain.
I spend a lot of time.
No, let me take that back.
That's not what I would do.
I'm having better days now than I had.
I stopped treatment four months ago.
No, I'm doing nothing else but to go
back in and have some surgery done.
So this, I got another one
to come up in my colon.
I got another one in my
neck, this one in my neck.
It's attached to my spinal cord.
So I said, you know what, man,
y'all can do what y'all can do.
I'm not letting y'all cut on me anymore.
I'm not gonna stick me
with anything anymore.
Trust God on this and
he's gonna let me never.
He's gonna come and get me, but I'm
not letting y'all do anything else too.
And that's where I'm at
and I'm okay with it.
My, my, my family, I
talked to my wife first.
I talked to both of my sons about this.
Talk to my daughter and my brother,
and they're okay like that.
And we get it, man.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna
trust God in this process.
And what I'm gonna say, it's just the most
beautiful thing I've ever experienced.
You wouldn't believe the
people that I have met.
Now, I'm a backwoods country
boy that learned to be three
quarters slick in the city.
But look how I've made it, man.
I live better than I deserve.
I do.
I got a wife that loves me.
I got, I wasn't a father to my
first born son, because I was too
stuck in being self centered and
all about cheating, making money.
Now I have a two year old son.
That's about the time I left his side.
Now I'm raising him, because
he loves me with respect.
Not only that, the one that I
didn't raise lives with me, and he
works with me, and he calls me Pop.
See, I don't deserve any of these things.
I haven't done nothing in my past
to keep you deserve these things.
God said, my grace is sufficient.
I got you, father.
And I didn't earn it and couldn't earn it.
See, that's why I know I live a life.
Right.
That's why I don't have a
problem with how I live today.
I don't have a problem with helping.
I don't have, I don't have the trust.
I don't, the transformation that
I see in me, you know, in my life,
will sustain me until he comes.
It will.
Because every day it starts
with me and it ends with me.
And as long as it starts and
ends with me too, there's
nothing in between me and him.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's great.
Hey, let me ask you a question.
When we started out, you were
talking about this verse from James.
Was it James that says,
be angry and sin not?
And you said, now how do you do that?
So you obviously have learned
something about controlling.
What do you do with it when it comes up?
I mean, you're obviously in pain
at off and on and then pain causes.
That doesn't push you in that area.
I have to, when I guess like that, Mr.
Jesse, I'll tell you the truth.
Jesse will tell you, my
wife should tell you.
Keith, not people, friendly today, that's
why he's not at the meet, because I can't,
I don't go out there, because I'm not
going to take that stuff they've given
me, and if I can't do push ups and sit
ups to try to ease it or ride a bike, or
lay in the shower and cry at all, I'll
probably show a wheel, but I'm not taking
that stuff, no, I won't go around people
and have to add to my eminence list.
I won't man, but here's what I would say.
Last week I had five days of not
really feeling anything, just
feeling really good, a lot of energy.
And then I woke up at three o'clock in
the morning, like I was going diarrhea,
choking up, can't breathe, trying to push
this down so I can breathe because it's
something catching right there where that
knot is and landing in the bathroom floor.
Really God, you're giving me five red
days now, and I wake up like this,
just like I never had a good day.
It's over, wow, love that.
Be angry, do not see it.
Now, it used to be, I'd
be like, okay, F you God.
Now you got, I got your attention.
See, I don't have to, I
don't, I've got his attention.
He never lost his attention with me.
After knowing that fact,
I don't have to cuss.
Now, now I can get to the real, okay.
I feel like that I'm being played
with and being toyed with, Paul.
You give me five great days, now you
didn't give me five, you let me have five.
Yeah.
He's also letting me be sick for a month.
You are sick, man.
Don't you forget that.
Because if I forget that I'm sick,
I'll have a lot of other things.
And what if I forget my gratitude?
He's the main thing.
He's the type of help I don't go bring.
Yeah.
With that being said, Now I go, God,
I'm angry because I feel like life
is not fair, you know what it ain't.
I said, you didn't just
reach where I catch myself.
You let me come through this and this.
But now, yes, I'm still here and it
goes back to what Paul said about that.
If he was, if I was not to be
in any more pain, you know what?
If he was to give me everything I
wanted, I'd be the most miserable
son of a gun in the world.
But you can't, now, you couldn't
give me anything to make me any more
joyful about life than I am right now.
You couldn't.
He said, if you can give me a new home
or a new car, unlimited Vids account,
that would make me happier than I am.
It would bring me a lot of
happiness for about 5 10 minutes.
It would be a lot of trauma.
But you know what I'm saying?
So it's like, just communicating.
God, I tell the God
like I'm talking to you.
I'm angry because I feel like,
dude, how can I be healthy and wake
up sicker than I was been a while?
That's just.
This vehicle wasn't meant to last.
The soul that he breathed in for a while,
that's the channel that never goes away.
Part of you.
So if that's the case, I'm not
going to try to work out every
day and help you every day.
I'm going to try to arrive with this
body just barely making it to the gate.
When it comes to snatching this soul out,
it's like, God, boy, you barely made it.
That's all we need to hear.
I made it.
Now, don't you worry
about the barely part.
Ha, ha, ha.
Cheers.
So let me ask you, obviously you
do live with a lot of joy, this
awareness of this grace in your life.
It seems to me like you're really,
you're truly living one day at a time.
And I don't know, I'm just
giving you my perspective.
I'm happy, but I'd like to know what,
are there any practices or things that
you do every day that keep you on track?
With God honestly, yeah, I'm crazy.
I told you.
Yeah.
He's real So I don't have to
talk to any of you, I don't
have to talk to any of you.
They see me riding down the road.
How do you know I'm talking to myself?
I might be singing.
No, I'm just, I'm just being funny.
But I do, every morning.
It's not true me now.
Don't get me wrong, I'm
humorous, I do make slip up.
Most mornings when I wake up, first
thing I do is I say good morning to God.
If it's okay with you, I would like
to be a part of your life this day.
Not my life.
We know what he would do with it.
And if there's any issues, please
help me to see them, to deal with
them in a way that's honoring you.
And that's all I say.
And then if someone says, Hey, remember
what I said, I needed you to handle this.
And if you don't strike them dead with
lightning, then that means I got to go
in here and work on it, because they
ain't, they ain't, they ain't the problem.
I mean, clearly I do.
I talk to them all day of my own life.
And that, and I'm, you know what?
And ain't that I'm afraid to quit and
see if this is really what is working?
I know this is the honest
I've ever been with God.
But God more than I have
you or me or anybody else.
He ain't denied it, lied to it.
That ain't true, God.
I didn't think that.
I didn't say that.
I didn't know, not true, you see I give
him all my fear, I do, I'm afraid of
God this cancer got me terrified, I'm
afraid of leaving my family, best life
I've ever had as far as a family, family
man's concern, I do, I have an amazing
life, we have family night, we have
date night, we have meet night, We have
recreational, we have something every
night of the week that we do or something.
And to say it or not, my play life is
full, but I got the master in the middle.
He's first and last and I ain't got to
worry about not balling out the play.
Are you, I would say that you have a close
fellowship, a close relationship with your
And I would say that's what, from what
my, where I understand what you said, is
that's what's made all the difference.
No, it's shifty.
Cause I've read this thing all
the way through every year for
five years, from cover to cover.
Once a year for the last five years,
I've read this all the way through.
It's not because I want to know more, it's
because I want him to know that I want to
know more about, you know, and when it's
all said and done, see, I can say that.
Yeah, that's my, that's the guy.
He gave me love, and he gave
me a flag, and, and still put
up with what he put up with.
He allowed the things to
be said and done to him.
And that had nothing to do with me.
If you take, say, I wasn't born
back then, I didn't do any of that.
See, it wasn't the Romans, or Jews, or
whatever you want to call it, did that.
That was humanity.
His creation did that to him.
He said, I still love him now.
I know, I know the gunshots.
He's safe.
Surgery is different.
It's cancer.
I'm not gonna walk away.
I don't care.
If
I die, everybody has a time limit.
Nobody knows when everybody's dying.
That's the thing.
I'm not gonna go any sooner
than I'm supposed to.
This cancer can't take me one
second before God's ready.
It can't.
So if that's the case, then
I can live joyously free.
I don't have to navigate myself
with the pain and the sickness.
But other than that, I'm not in prison,
I'm not in bondage, I'm not in any of that
things anymore, I'm not, man, I'm free.
Your story is going to be
online and available for as
long as there's an internet.
Long after you're gone, long after
I'm gone, would you, what would
you tell somebody out there in the
future that is listening to this?
What advice would you have for A young
man, young woman out there who may
hear this someday, by God's grace.
And, um, what kind of advice
would you have for them?
Honestly, as men, we tend to
be, we're stuffers and hands on.
We want to fix everything, but
we don't want to feel nothing.
What I'm saying is that usually
feelings and emotions are what drives.
You know what I'm saying?
And with that being said, it's okay.
Feelings and emotions have
their place in life every day.
But when it comes to making decisions,
if I don't take a fact of the situation
and then base it with my feelings
and emotions, I won't make a choice.
So with that being said, if you don't
think there's the God in your life,
you don't think grace is working
in your life, look for the fact.
Then you can do what you feel.
Well, I don't feel like God.
I don't feel like God.
I don't feel like God.
What facts do you have
to give any of that?
I didn't have any.
I just chose.
But I knew in here, I
knew there was a God.
So when I quit fighting God, then
I had to learn how to communicate.
Oh, I know who you are, but I'm not
talking to you like a little child.
So what I'm saying is trust the
process of developing a relationship.
Allow him to do what he does.
What's wrong with you?
Once I, it ain't that I stopped
fighting it, but I acknowledged it.
Once I acknowledged it, once you open
the door and comes in, it's what he says.
And he did.
I'm living.
Now I'm not crazy.
You might think I am,
but I'm living proof.
When I opened the door to God,
my life shape was changed.
Man, I said, perfect.
Am I perfect?
You know me better than anybody, sir.
You know I'm not a saint in that world.
And I ended my behavior a lot.
But in God's eyes, I'm old.
We were just talking about that in our
Bible study this morning, how when we
do, when we are born again, our spirits
are sealed by the Holy Spirit forever.
And there's no matter, even
if we sin, and no matter what
happens to us, we're sealed.
And that doesn't give us license to sin,
but it just means that we have grace.
And like you talked about that, God's
grace follows us, goodness and mercy
follows us all the day of my life.
He won't let us go.
And so I wanted to just ask that
you would pray for our listeners
before we wrap things up.
Well, first, is there anything
else you wanted to say?
I want to tell you that
it's an honor to do this.
I really appreciate you allowing
me this trip because this is a trip
and I want to thank you for it.
It's the only thing that
I can ever do for you.
I will be more than glad to serve.
Thank you for this offer this year.
No, thank you.
I'm, I'm honored.
So let's pray for anybody
who may be listening.
And I believe that God is in
charge of whoever listens to this.
And he's going to send somebody that
needs to hear exactly what you said.
So I'm counting on it.
Okay.
Ready?
Yeah.
Okay.
You're my father.
Yeah.
Come before you thanks for this gathering.
We thank you for this special moment
in time that you have placed here.
We do not know the dividends
that it's going to pay for what
this man here is doing, but we
know that it's going to reach me.
Father, I pray that anyone that is
listening, that they'll take the time.
Everything about me is public, right?
I live the life that's unworthy
according to the world.
But when I study your
word, like it talks about.
In Romans chapter 12, when I studied
the Word of God study, that's how
I know that God loves and cares.
And I know that He loves me and cares
for me and loves and cares for me.
Anyone out there listening to this,
if it's not a God, please take the
time to just, if it's not real,
then what will it hurt to talk?
If it's not real, what
will it hurt to study?
Give yourself a break and re
allow God what He does best.
And that's love.
Well, I pray and ask this to
everyone that comes into contact.
In Jesus Christ's name, amen.
Amen.
Thank you.
Cailin: We hope you've been
blessed by today's story.
In case you haven't noticed, there
are no advertisements on this podcast
and we hope to keep it that way.
So if you've heard something that you
think could help someone you know, please
share it using the link in the show notes.
Also, if you will give Faith and Purpose a
positive review on your podcast platform,
you could help more people find it.
You will probably never know how
that small effort can make a big
difference in someone's life.
But our Heavenly Father knows.
Speaking of sharing, if you know a Jesus
follower with a story to tell, please send
them a link to Faith and Purpose Podcast.
It may encourage them to tell their story.
That person may even be you.
Our only criteria is
that Jesus be glorified.
Most Christians don't share their
faith because they mistakenly think
their story is not interesting enough.
Or that it's self centered
to talk about themselves.
Or that they are not competent
to explain the gospel correctly.
But none of that is relevant.
If Jesus has changed your
life, you have a story to tell.
All of our stories are completely unique.
No one has a story like yours, and you
may be the only one who can reach someone
else through telling your experience.
All of our stories are completely unique.
No one has a story like yours, and you
may be the only one who can reach someone
else through telling your experience.
So don't be intimidated.
A story is just that, a true
account of your own experience.
And no one can disagree
with your experience.
When we tell what Jesus has done in
our lives, we are being obedient to his
command to go into all the world and
preach the gospel to every creature.
It's not about theology, and it's not
about how interesting or special you are.
It's all about Jesus.
So when you're ready to tell how Jesus
has impacted your life, you can let Jesse
know at his ministry website, jesseduke.
net.
There you can download guidelines
that will make it easy to
prepare to tell your story.
Thank you for listening today and Shalom.