Takes Two

7:15 and the moon rose over a cold bay. It was like a ghostly woman watching over lost souls making their way in this cold, harsh world. A poet falls in love with her glow, her soul, her smile, while Dick was stuck with another body, another cold night and another collection of conversations ranging from absurd to mildly threatening. I mean, who would ever think Dick needed a partner? He's totally fine on his own. A lone ranger. A man of his own mind. Adhere on the other hand...maybe he needed a hand to hold.

What is Dick Clever?

It's a classic tale. A lone detective, a dark town, and a victim with a cod piece stuck in their ear. It's the sort of murder that could turn one to drink, to shun society and start a jazz band in his mother's basement. But not Dick. A man who's not quite Poirot, Sherlock, or Jake Peralta, but a man whose very much...well, Dick. Accompanied by a pallet of colourful characters, sharp tongues, wit and humour, we follow Dick and co on a bizarre journey to find truth, justice, and just how long a telephone cord really is.

(Dick Clever, Episode Six, Takes Two)

THEME / JAZZ HORN UNDERNEATH:
DOCK SIDE SOUNDS, WATER LAPPING.

DICK: 7:15 and the moon rose over a cold bay. If I was a poet I would say it
was like a ghostly woman watching over us lost souls as we made our
way in this world. Making our way through the dark and shade while
those pure hearted lay to rest. A rest that they would stir from in the
glow of the vibrant sun, unlike the poor sod that had been found by
the docks. But I’m not a poet. So I’d say I got a stiff by the docks.

THEME OUT, WATER CONTINUES LAPPING.

DICK: Constable Adhere, what's the story?

ADHERE: Oh, Dick, top of the morning.

DICK: It's night.

ADHERE: I shall be amending me report accordingly.

(PAUSE)

Do you think the K is readable like?

DICK: Where's the body?

ADHERE: The doctor has already taken it.

DICK: Very well.

ADHERE: But I can tell you that the body was found here.

DICK: Adhere?

ADHERE: Yes Dick?

DICK: Did you do the outline?

ADHERE: No sir, that was the good Doctor.

DICK: And who coloured it in?

ADHERE: Yes sir, that was me.

DICK: Who said you could colour it in?

ADHERE: My therapist, sir.

DICK: Really?

ADHERE: She said that I should start to express my feelings and channel my
creative side.

DICK: Right.

ADHERE: I mean what's wrong, Dick, I kept within the lines.

DICK: This therapist, is there anyone else on the force seeing them?

ADHERE: Why, no sir. Apparently I am the only one that can see them.

JAZZ HORN UP UNDERNEATH:

DICK: This didn't surprise me one bit. Returning to the office I rested in the
sallow light of the lamp, fingering the photographs of the tongs.
There was something that I was missing and if I only knew what
wasn't evident, I'd have the answer to the riddle I fathomed.

Come in.

DOOR OPENS.

KRANKSY: Hickory wants you bad.

DICK: Why does he want me bad? Why not happy, good or even morally
indifferent?

KRANKSY: Don't be a wise guy just get up there before he comes down on all of
us.

DICK: Okay, okay.

DOOR SHUTS.

DICK: You going to leave or just shut the door?

KRANSKY: Oh....okay.

DOOR OPENS.

KRANKSY: (MUFFLED) Is that better?

DICK: You betcha!

DOOR CLOSES.
JAZZ HORN PLAYING UNDERNEATH:

I made my way through the dark corridors of the police station to the
Captain's room.

JAZZ HORN OUT. CAT CRY.

HICKORY: Come in.

DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES.

Well, well, well, Detective Clever, I want to be caught up on the Cod
Piece Murders.

DICK: Please call me Dick. But, there's not much to tell. We have a few stiffs
and a handful of fish fingers and not much more.

HICKORY: So, you’re floundering?

DICK: Just stuck.

HICKORY: Well, is that the best you've got? A bit limp, Detective Clever.
Obviously, your old fashioned ways aren't getting the job done.

DICK: Look, Captain, I've looked at these murders a thousand different
ways. If I can't see, what's to say another will?

HICKORY: Well, whether you like it or not you’re getting a partner, detective.

DICK: The hell I am. And please call me Dick.

HICKORY: I'm glad you’ve reached acceptance so quickly. Her name is Petra
and she's a rookie straight out of University, bright and willing with no
street experience, detective.

DICK: And you worry about me becoming a cliché? Listen, Captain Hickory,
you know I work best alone. You've read my file, you know what
happens to my partners and please, please, call me Dick.

HICKORY: Yes, I know all about your former partners, like Wesley.

DICK: His wife never forgave me.

HICKORY: And Collins.

DICK: His wife never forgave me…

HICKORY: And Robertson.

DICK: Oh, she forgave me, more than a dozen times.

HICKORY: Look, you keep your nose clean and to the grindstone.

DICK: I don't quite think that works…

HICKORY: Now get out of my office, your partner's waiting for you outside,
Detective.

DICK: Please, feel welcome to call me Dick. Are we finished?

HICKORY: If you don't get a breakthrough, you will be.

CHAIR MOVING, PERSON OPENS DOOR.

(MUFFLED) What a dick.

DICK: See, was that so hard?

DOOR CLOSES.

JAZZ HORN PLAYS UNDERNEATH:

DICK: It was at this point that I started to harbour a grudge against the
Captain. It wasn't so much that he was right, it was the fact that I had
a new partner.

MENACING CHORD

A rookie!

Straight out of university!

MENACING CHORD.

And a woman!

Of the female gender!

MENACING CHORD.

It would be a long night.

THEME SONG UP AND OUT.

END

Copyright by Mike Jones and Iley Jones