Sydney Cole Alexander

Intro: Titan(ic), Botox, Wegovy
Interview: We talk to star of Severance Sydney Cole Alexander about LaGuardia High School, SUNY Purchase, and Severance.

Creators & Guests

Host

Gina Pulice

Co-host, Writer, Actor, Director

Host

Jen Bosworth Ramirez

Co-host, actor, writer, consultant

What is I Survived Theatre School?

We went to theatre school. We survived it, but we didn't understand it. 20 years later, we're talking to our guests about their experience of going for this highly specialized type of college at the tender age of 18. Did it all go as planned? Are we still pursuing acting? Did we get cut from the program? Did we... become famous yet?

1 (8s):
I'm Jen Bosworth

2 (9s):
Ramirez,

3 (10s):
And I'm Gina PCI We

1 (11s):
Went to theater school together. We survived it, but we didn't quite understand it.

3 (15s):
20 years later, we're digging deep talking to our guests about their experiences and trying to make sense of it all.

1 (21s):
We survived theater school and you will too. Are we famous, yet

2 (31s):
My migraine could be pillow. I mean, as I get older, the number of things that could be causing the problem seems to go exponentially up.

3 (42s):
Oh God. Yeah.

2 (44s):
It's just never one thing. They're like, well, we think it's a combo of the sleep apnea.

3 (51s):
And it's the same thing when you're 13. Cuz it's like, is it my hormones? Right? Is it the fact that I have to be in el you know, junior high is the fact that, you know, I have to live with my parents. Like, name your poison. It could just literally be anything.

2 (1m 6s):
So I think that that is a that Yeah, that's a bummer. But I also feel great. I have my little, it's like I'm wearing a for the, they're not connected right now because I literally think they might interfere. It's a walkie I have to wear for a month.

3 (1m 23s):
I thought you were gonna show me your pasties.

2 (1m 24s):
Oh my God. That would be hilarious. No, that's like the new pasties. So for a month they're trying to get me off all heart meds, thank God. Because I don't need them anymore. They don't. Fantastic. But my cardiologist, you know, is like fancy and she's like, we gotta do this. So these tests, it's an, it's a month long pocket Eek g I wear. But it's so annoying because it's literally like having a, a another electronic device in your pocket all the time. And also it messes with the internet. I'm not kidding you. Like people they said it wouldn't, but I'm Like, I I don. It's electric. I mean, there's, there's electrical currents running through the don.

2 (2m 5s):
Don't know. Anyway, so I've been up and now I feel Like. I'm on crack cocaine, but I'm not

3 (2m 9s):
God, I, I just feel like people have such wild ideas about how the way the world works and And, you know, and informed by myself included. So in it's informed by like this deep belief you have about this knowledge that you have and then how that sometimes, so I about this whole submarine thing, Oh

2 (2m 29s):
My God, you everyone is talk here don don't know about there. But like every groc I went into our grocery store and like three sort of pimply faced teenagers in the produce section who worked at the WinCo, which is the greatest grocery store. But they were like literally talking about the weight of the window, pressure And I was like, oh god, excuse me, I was Like I need some lemons. Can you move the fuck out of the way? But anyway, yeah. So tell me, tell me

3 (2m 55s):
What I think it's because I got really into it too. And, I, And I. Think it's one of these situations where it's a, it's a, it's a drama that's unfolding that's on the news that is personal in a certain type of way because you're like, oh, billionaires, fuck them, they can die. Who cares? Or you think, wow, how ironic you're gonna die with the wreckage of the Titanic, but it's acceptable and it's not

2 (3m 23s):
Right. I

3 (3m 24s):
Hate to say it this way, but in a way it's not a bummer. Like

2 (3m 27s):
Well it's also, yeah, it's not too traumatic. Bummer. Yeah, it's not too traumatic. Like it's, it's, it's also weird and it's also, yeah, it's all the things we like. Do you remember when we were young and that that girl got stuck in the, well remember that Jessica? Yes. Baby Jessica.

3 (3m 46s):
Baby Jessica. That's right.

2 (3m 48s):
That was, that was, we were glued, but we really didn't want her in any way to be harmed. And then Right. They got her out. Right? They got her out of the well, right? Yeah,

3 (3m 58s):
They got her out. She's alive and well.

2 (3m 60s):
But I had a similar feeling where Like I.

3 (4m 2s):
Really?

2 (4m 3s):
Oh God, we dunno. She's

3 (4m 7s):
Alive and not in a Well

2 (4m 8s):
Exactly. And she could be well, but she's maybe not in a, well she's unwell.

3 (4m 14s):
I can, I guess she's probably had to contend with that horrible pun her entire life. Wow. I'm sorry Jessica.

2 (4m 20s):
Jessica. We're so sorry. Wait, wait. But oh yeah, that was, but I had a similar vibe where like everywhere I went, they were talking about the girl on the well and now literally everywhere I went last week in Ventura, people were like, you know, no, no PlayStation and And. you know, like it was controlled by a PlayStation controller. Like literally Wait, what? Okay, what? This is the thing that the teenagers told me yesterday. They were like, listen, the way they controlled the I don something was an off-brand PlayStation controller.

3 (4m 57s):
Yes.

2 (4m 57s):
And, and fucking teenager was like, listen, I didn't buy that controller for my PlayStation because it seemed too unreliable. And I was like, oh boy. So, so yeah, that's where I get all my news from the fucking produce section at Windrow.

3 (5m 17s):
I mean, it's as good as place as any, I mean, in a way, I have to say I felt disappointed that they so supposedly died so fast because I was imagining a scenario. Of course my like little uptight, narc moral self was like imagining them down there being like, you know what, maybe this was hubris, oh, you know, maybe we shouldn't have spent so much money and yet had so little kind of like, there was so little thought apparently that went into this. And maybe this is a great example of why, you know, there is such a thing as having too much money. Right. And there ha there is such a thing as you know. Wow. You're, you feel so imagine feeling so invulnerable,

2 (6m 1s):
Oh my God

3 (6m 3s):
That you think nothing of doing this. I mean, I guess that's why we have explorers, to be honest. I mean, I guess explorers have always been rich, but you didn't need to explore the Titanic remains. It's well documented. There's no mysteries there.

2 (6m 23s):
Yeah. What were they trying to do? Like

3 (6m 26s):
Big old weirdo wanting to see the wood? I just Like I. What's the appeal? Honestly? What is the appeal?

2 (6m 34s):
Yeah, I don't, that's what I was gonna ask is like, what was the mission? Was it just like a, it's just like a fun thing to do. There was no doc.

3 (6m 45s):
Yeah. it was just like a fun thing to do. And the youngest one on there, the 19 year old didn't wanna go, but it was Father's Day. So he was Like I. Guess I have to do this for my dad. I mean, they had like some sandwiches and some,

2 (6m 59s):
It

3 (6m 59s):
Was also men.

2 (6m 60s):
Yeah, of course

3 (7m 1s):
Men planned this journey. Yeah. you know, course

2 (7m 3s):
They would've been like, no way. Don't need any,

3 (7m 5s):
We don't need any assurances, we don't need any safety compliance checks.

2 (7m 9s):
Just give us some freaking diet cokes and like, maybe some, some like some

3 (7m 15s):
Ham. Ham and cheese.

2 (7m 16s):
Ham and cheese sandwiches. Maybe some seafood salad. And like, we're good. Like we're good. No problem. The other thing is, how long was it literally supposed to be? Just like a day tour. Like how long were they supposed to be there? Do you know?

3 (7m 27s):
I think it was supposed to be a three hour tour.

2 (7m 29s):
That's hilarious. Don't tell me you're not funny. Tina Alii you not tell me. Well, listen,

3 (7m 35s):
The toilet was so what? I'm focused on this toilet because whatcha

2 (7m 40s):
Talking about, I dunno anything about the toilet.

3 (7m 42s):
It was like basically a bucket. But they had a but they had a curtain you could pull around it. So my ass is not going. I went to an outdoor concert the other day. Oh, close to home.

2 (7m 54s):
Yeah.

3 (7m 54s):
You know, like I've been to those porta-potties. They're not the grossest thing in the world. My ass is really scheduling around. I'm not gonna go into this porta-potty, so I'm gonna stop drinking at this certain time. And with my meal, I can't have my water. I'm just gonna have to dry mouth it because I am not going into a porta potty. Yeah, yeah. Is my mission in life. Yeah. To never enter a porta potty.

2 (8m 21s):
Well, my problem with a porta potty is I always look down. Why do I look down

3 (8m 27s):
You? Because what, how else could, you can't? You cannot look

2 (8m 30s):
Down I can look down And. I'm like, oh no, why did, and and once I look down, I go into gagging mode. And then, but you don't have to look down. Some people just say, keep looking straight ahead. But then I always, I'm thinking about it now and I'm gonna puke Oh my God Oh my God.

3 (8m 50s):
It's Cause there's always, somebody told me this when we were filming the movie over the summer and it was all in these campsite. Yeah. And, and the dressing room was a fancy porta-potty, which just meant I'll give it this, the well or the, like, the hole was real deep. Okay. So it wasn't that bad. Well how did, how they do

2 (9m 13s):
That? Wait, did, did production dig a hole?

3 (9m 17s):
No, no, no, no. Like at the, this California state park, whatever, their porta potties had a very, very deep hole. But there was, you know, 30 of us and we were there for three and a half weeks. Weeks.

2 (9m 29s):
I cannot, I cannot, I cannot.

3 (9m 32s):
So by the end, there was no place on set. You could be where you weren't downwind of this porta-potty. And, I Oh. my God. Somebody told me that they, their biggest thing was they were, they were afraid that something was gonna come up from under. They always had to look because they were afraid something was gonna come from underneath and bite them. Oh,

2 (9m 56s):
That's it. No, that, that's not my worries, Tina. I'm worried of seeing other people's feces. I don't give a fuck about an animal. The fuck outta here. The animals aren't stupid. They're not coming out of there. They're not going in there. No animal, no shit eating an no. Come on. what is it? We got like bats. I, I don't know what eats shit, but it's not gonna no flies. But here's the thing. No, no, no. I don't eat any of it. I just think it's awful that, but then I often wonder like, yeah, I have so many thoughts. I mean, the worst movies ever are where people have to hide in the porta-potty. Have you ever seen movies? There's a lot of movies like that.

3 (10m 36s):
Oh, Schindler's List. Oh, correct. I I, I walked out of Schindler's List on that scene with the, when when the kids were in the shit. I was Like, I cannot, I simply cannot with this anymore. It took me like five years to go back and watch the rest of it was so disgusting. So, so not just disgusting, but like, so degrading. Yeah. And so like, it's just one of those things where you go, what, what's wrong with us humans? So many things.

2 (11m 1s):
Horrible. So many things. But on a, on a good note. I I mean this is, this is so like, or this illustrates the point and people are gonna be like, what the fuck? I started getting Botox.

3 (11m 14s):
You did? Well,

2 (11m 15s):
I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Yeah. I, I'm not even gonna lie, my husband doesn't know yet and he is gonna be real mad, but that's okay cuz he, he listens re you know, religiously. But, so I get migraines, So, that was the, the quote medical reason. But then when I went, they were like, listen, let us just do your elevens and let us do So migraines, they sh you know, they go on the, I'm wondering, you look so good. Wow. They shoot, thank you. They shoot you on the side for the migraines. They'll shoot you on your jaw for the T M J, which I got. And then they're like, don't you just want your forehead and your elevens done? And I was like, they're like, it won't cost that much extra. And I was like, okay. So it's amazing and it's the weirdest thing.

2 (11m 57s):
Cause this is how mad, this is how mad I can get. You can't, there, there you sit.

3 (12m 5s):
No, no dude, dude, you, this is nothing. You, your face is not frozen. Right. I'm surprised that you have, I would never have gasped it. Yeah. Because that's usually the kind of thing I would notice right away. Like, why is BOA's face not moving? It's your face is totally moving.

2 (12m 24s):
So Yeah. you know, it is good stuff. Also, you don't, I was just gonna tell you, You don't need it. You always have your forehead never has lines, ever. You have never had lines in your forehead. Yes, I do. Bare You have to really work at it. And also you don't have the elevens. No, no. You don't have resting elevens. Okay. Okay. What I'm saying is you're not there yet. But I, what I noticed was, I, like all the Colombians in my family have the elevens and like my mom, everyone. And so I was, I was like, all right, I'll give it a shot. And now I'm obsessed and they did a little, the crow's feet, but I didn't really care about those. Cause those are like fun lines. Those are like laughing lines, right?

2 (13m 4s):
Yeah. I just didn't want my elevens were the thing. And also, yeah, well

3 (13m 9s):
I never noticed them before, but you look great.

2 (13m 12s):
Yeah. it was fun. And

3 (13m 13s):
I can't believe. I mean, you're like the, you should honestly see about a sponsorship deal with Botox because you're a great example of how like, people are so afraid to have that frozen place. No, it is. And you don't, and

2 (13m 27s):
You, you go to someone who really knows what they're doing and they also are really subtle and they don't get crazy And, you know, you pay a little bit extra for the, for like the really good like, you know, people that are reputable and not sort of, these people are nurses. I mean, I guess you have to be a nurse. But anyway, so anyway, that's a good thing. And then, I mean, I have become so la but also in, in, I needed to, so I couldn't get, I couldn't lose this last, I did not get liposuction, but I, I couldn't lose the last I really, for heart health, I need to be 40 pounds lighter.

2 (14m 8s):
Okay. Not, not for, not because I'm gonna die if I don't. But Bec And I was with diet and exercise, I couldn't, so my doctor was like, okay, we're gonna try, we ovy. I was like, oh no. Okay, you

3 (14m 20s):
Do.

2 (14m 21s):
Yeah. So I'm on, we govi,

3 (14m 23s):
IM obsessed. I want it so bad. Ok. Ok. So

2 (14m 26s):
Here. Ok. Ok. So, and, and it's so interesting, like people really have opinions, right? Like everyone has an opinion about the injectables, like so many people. So for me, someone who has struggled with their weight my whole life, And, I just, I finally was like a friend of mine got on Oz. So Ozempic and Wego are the same drug. One is made for medical reasons, one is made strictly for weight loss, which is a medical reason, but not so. But I happen to have, you don't need any other diagnoses, but being overweight to be on We Ovy. But I do happen to have other diagnoses, which is hypertension and arrhythmia.

2 (15m 9s):
Right. AFib So that qualified me. Okay. It's really hard to get, it's really annoying and all the things. Okay. But I got it and my insurance approved it. It's a really wonderful drug because what it does is, it's really interesting. Like look, I don't know what, how other people are using it or needing it, but what it does is it literally tells your brain you are full when you are full. So they think those of us who have weight issues, obesity issues, there is a hormone missing that says you are full Now. It is not willpower.

2 (15m 50s):
And like we, it's, it's all a combo platter. But I literally now feel Like I. I don't have this preoccupation with food in terms of Oh, my God, I'm I, what did I eat? When did I eat it? It's not even just the preoccupation with being hungry, it's the preoccupation with the whole thing. And so I legit, I mean I legit have lost, I think I've lost Like I, don't know. I've been on it now a month. And I have lost like eight, nine pounds. So that's good. Eight pounds. Yeah. Oh,

3 (16m 24s):
My God. Do you have diarrhea

2 (16m 26s):
And nausea? No. So you I I I've had it right after I sh inject. Yes. But you, you legit get those symptoms when You don't change how you're eating. So you have to do both. So Like I had to really cut out a lot. Like, I can't do fried foods. I can't do fast foods. I can't do, I was trying to cut those things out anyway. But most people in who have those diarrhea bouts and intense stuff are, are not changing their diet at all. The drug. Oh. Which is a problem. You can't eat the way, you can't eat crazy. You can't eat massive amounts. Yeah. So I am on month two.

2 (17m 7s):
And I. Love it. It's really, it's like hunger Games to try to get the goddamn drug. Like I had to Oh my God. They don't have it anywhere. And because, you know, I guess you know, the manufacturer and people are hoarding or I don don't know what it is, but I like Got it. And I continue to get it from like local sources. It's hilarious. I call like the local Ventura pharmacies. I'm like, do you have 1.7 milligrams? And they're like, we do.

3 (17m 33s):
Is it $1,000

2 (17m 35s):
A month? No, my insurance, it's 24 99

3 (17m 40s):
Oh. my God God Oh, my God Oh my God. Ok. So you just have to get your doctor

2 (17m 45s):
To do it. Your your doctor has to. Yeah. And here's the thing, like all the things are true. If you stop taking it, you will gain weight back if you don't change your thing. But your set point, so like everyone has this set point that they, they have ingrained in their body from childhood, whatever you can call it hormone, you can call it trauma. It's really hard to get past this one set point. And my set point needs to be lower. Like I need to go beyond that. Yeah. If I'm gonna be heart healthy, And, I couldn't figure it out. And my doctor was like, F it. We're trying. We go be like, come on, we're gonna just do it. Yeah. And I was like, really? Okay.

3 (18m 25s):
That's amazing because, you know, I know that whole thing about the set point is true because when I was 24 and doing that traveling tour, I was running six miles a day. I was starving myself. I would have like a and egg in the morning, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. I was doing two shows a day, running the entire time, plus running six miles in the morning. And at my very lowest weight, I was 134 pounds. Which is about like what they'd say. A person, my height is supposed to weigh And. I'm like, only if I'm fontine in la miserable.

3 (19m 5s):
Am I ever. And that was 24. Right? Like I could never,

0 (19m 29s):
And

3 (19m 29s):
I'm gonna ask you this question again, but before I do, I'm gonna say the thing that we say to everybody when, when we start, which is congratulations. Sydney Cole Alexander. You Survived.

4 (19m 39s):
Ah, thank you. You did

3 (19m 42s):
Honestly, And I, honestly, I I was just telling Boaz, I, the reason I contacted your people is because I was listening to this audiobook about the Sopranos and Edie Falco was talking about SUNY Purchase and the SUNY Purchase mafia. And I was like the Sonia Purchase mafia. And then I just immediately went on and looked at everybody who went there. And I had actually already wanted to have you on a long time ago. So you were the first person I reached out to because Severance is like my very favorite television show in the world. But we'll get to all that. You are telling me your approach to self-tapes, which have a way of be dabbling.

2 (20m 21s):
Oh, oh, I'm so, I'm so, so excited to hear

4 (20m 24s):
That. Well, I think for me at least, the training that I got was so theater-based. And then when I started auditioning for camera, I wasn't really sure how to transition. And we had some classes, but it just, it wasn't enough. you know, And, I think I I I pulled back so much that I started to be so flat and like no personality. And so I've just started approaching myself tapes a little bit like theater because, you know, we've been taping theater since the pandemic. And I just realized when I was watching my, my tapes and doing them for, for theater projects, that I was so much more alive and made choices and was willing to kind of be more of a clown and be silly and not worry about what I looked like.

4 (21m 9s):
And so I've been trying to kind of just approach my self-tapes like theater now where, you know, maybe I, it's not quite as large, but don don't know. There's something about just approaching it like theater That to me just makes more sense. Maybe because I'm trained in theater, but I got too much in my head thinking about the camera.

2 (21m 28s):
Yeah. I mean that is, that is, I love that.

3 (21m 32s):
Oh, go

2 (21m 32s):
Ahead, bus. No, I was just gonna say, I love that And I also wonder, like, part of it is too, and we talk a lot obviously to theater conservatory trained actors and theater-based actors that have started in theater. Is that the transition? I think nobody knows how to tell theater actors how to bring it in without losing the lifeline of the character or the scene. It is very hard to communicate. And so what ends up happening, especially in casting offices, I think, or in, in in self-tape land or what VI is like, oh, it's too big, it's too much, it's too big.

2 (22m 13s):
Which actually is, is is valid, but it's like, oh, but then how do I not do what I'm doing? And nobody really knows how to say that. but it sounds like yours is also like an attitudinal thing, like in terms of the way you're looking at the process of self taping theater to me, like when you say it, it, it like looks more joyful and free freedom and like spontaneous. So that's amazing. That's what I was gonna say. So I'm gonna try it. I'm gonna try it. Yeah.

4 (22m 42s):
Give a chance, see how it feels. You can always delete the tape, right?

2 (22m 45s):
Listen, Sydnee don don't think I was a very good stage actor is the problem. So I'm not saying

3 (22m 50s):
No, no, she's wrong. I've seen her on stage. She's,

4 (22m 56s):
I believe Gina.

3 (22m 57s):
Okay, so, so tell us about SUNY Purchase. Like, why do they call it the SUNY Purchase Mafia? Her description in this book, by the way, was just like, or maybe this was my interpretation, everybody gives all this credit to nyu, but you can only afford to go, only certain people can afford to go to nyu. You have to work harder to get into SUNY Purchase. Is that kind of your idea

4 (23m 20s):
About it itself? I mean, so I, I've been going to performing art school since I was in the eighth grade. Like I went to p a s and then I went to LaGuardia and then I went to purchase And I don't know. For me, I think like the whole purchase mafia thing is about how we, we try to have each other's backs and communicate. And my friends, Claire and Wayman actually put this awesome alumni program together and like, had everybody come and support the students in their showcase because sometimes the crowd can be a little thin, you know? And it really helps to have people laughing and, and backing you. And so I think like we were very aware that we were not a school with a ton of money for a lot of, you know, alumni programs and that it's kind of up to us to, to be a group and to support each other.

4 (24m 6s):
But when I auditioned for purchase, it was really not my first choice. I didn't know much about the program. Actually. I wanted to get as far away from New York City as I could. So I think I entered that audition more relaxed, which is why it ended up being my best audition. I'm so glad that I went in. It's

2 (24m 24s):
Always the way, always the way. It's always the way. And so, okay, so can you tell us about the other schools or like what, where you thought you'd end up and how it went down?

4 (24m 34s):
So, I mean, I, I thought at first that I wanted to be a singer. And I really didn't wanna stay at P B A S because it was such a small school. And I. Remember I think it was one day we were like, let's, let's see how quickly we can pass a rumor around the room. And it was like 30 seconds and that was the whole grade. And I was Like I gotta get outta here. And so I ended up going to LaGuardia because I didn't get into the vocal program. it was like an opera program. And I sang Ain't No Sunshine by Bill Withers. it was not gonna happen. So I went to LaGuardia for drama. And I really, really enjoyed it. And so when I was thinking about schools, I was kind of thinking about don Don't know, LaGuardia felt very, I don don't know.

4 (25m 16s):
It felt like home. It felt very real. And I think once I started like seeing, seeing the kind of the audition process, it was more enlightening than Googling the schools. Like being in the room with the teachers and auditioning and seeing what kind of direction they give you. So I had auditioned for Carnegie Mellon. I really can't pick up choreography quickly. So I remember I was in that dance call, And I was like, this is not happening

2 (25m 42s):
By the end of the dance. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Because I happened to have stalked you on social media and you, you were doing, were you in a, a show where you were dancing because you, you were dancing in your Instagram? What was that then? What did I see that magic happen? So let's not talk about not picking up choreography. You look like a trained dancer in the video.

4 (26m 4s):
I think I was just nervous for some reason I felt awkward in my body. And And I would try to like fake sick or pretend my ankle was swollen. My teacher, Ms. Aldini was calling me on my bullshit all the time. Oh, can I, sorry. On my crap. Ok. Oh yeah,

2 (26m 16s):
Oh sure.

4 (26m 17s):
Call me on my bullshit all the time. And I. I remember when I went to purchase, we had dance for two years. Oh my goodness. My teacher was awesome. But the first thing she said to me was, you are not allowed to ask any more questions. it was one of the first things she said. And I was so mad at her. I actually ran into her recently. And I was like, thank you, thank you for saying that cuz I was in my head. But I think I just felt Like I gotta get it right. I have to do it right. If I, if I make a mistake, then I, I messed up. And this, I started taking this dance class for fun on my 30th birthday. I was like, I'm gonna take myself to a dance class. I wanna do something that makes me kind of uncomfortable. I'm gonna go alone. And I ended up going to this, this woman's class, her name's Angela.

4 (27m 1s):
And she was all about making mistakes and it was so freeing. And now I love going to class And I love dancing And I almost feel like, wow, maybe I could have been a dancer if I had given myself the chance. but you know, hindsight's 2020. Yeah,

2 (27m 13s):
That's amazing that you talk about that, that a dance class and where mistakes are embraced. Oh, I mean, I am just obsessed with the idea of sort of making mistakes. And someone told me I've never been fortunate enough to be on set with Meryl Streep, but someone told me that on set with Meryl Streep, when she flubs or messes up, she literally just goes, oopsy. And they move on. There's no, there's no like big drama about it. She doesn't make a play about it or she doesn't Yeah, she doesn't like chew the scenery up talking about it or yell at somebody that it's their fault. She goes, oopsy. And then they all move on. And I was like, oh my gosh, if we just had an Oopsy orientation to life, we'd all maybe do be so much better off, you know?

2 (27m 59s):
But it's lovely to hear. So, so you went to that dance class on your 30th birthday, but at at SUNY you thought, okay, let's, let's go back. So when you're auditioning, you auditioned for Carnegie Mellon and you were like, no, you didn't like, tell us about that process of auditioning and how you chose your school.

4 (28m 20s):
Oh, I, I didn't have the best grades in school because I was more concerned about having fun and copying my friend's homework, you know? And so I, I mean I really, I I remember by senior year, Like I would skip class And I would just go to drama class. I would skip the first half of the day, then I'd just go to drama class. So my grades were okay, And, you know, they were, I was gonna get into college for sure, but I wa didn't excel in academics. And I think also looking back, Like I just didn't feel very smart growing up. And so Like I already had this mental block about any, anything that wasn't like, you know, creative writing or, or history or earth science. I like things like that. But math, forget about it. I was terrified. And so I already had like a little bit of like a limit to the schools that I could, you know, approach because of my grades.

4 (29m 6s):
And I knew I didn't wanna audition for Julliard because it was across the street from LaGuardia and it was just too familiar. So I auditioned for North Carolina School of the Arts. I auditioned for the musical theater program at Ithaca. And, I think a school in California, Oh my God, it's so long ago. I can barely remember. And then Carnegie and purchased and that was it. And I ended up getting into Ithaca with this like, scholarship for singing And I was excited, but it was still really pricey. And I took a look at the program. And I was like, purchase just has an excellent program. It doesn't make sense not to go. And so I went there. What did,

2 (29m 44s):
What did you Syd what did you love about that program? Like what was it where you were Like I belong here?

4 (29m 52s):
I guess really just, there was something about the way that the company bonded that was really special to me. And my company was like, we had a reputation for being a little uptight, Like I feel Like I left the program, more uptight than I entered the program, but I just felt like we really had each other's backs and people would be in the studio working until like three in the morning on their project. And I think one of the, the best things about the program for me at least in the beginning was we had a, a teacher, his name was Charles Tull, I think he actually taught at NYU as well. And he loved teaching purchase students and he was just such an amazing first year student. First of all, he was so funny. I remember I had, I had this, what was it? I think it was called the Character Arc.

4 (30m 32s):
So we had to do one scene, we'd work on it and then we'd work on the second scene and then we'd work on the third scene and then we'd do the whole character arc. And I was playing this like farm girl and he was like, why are you wearing gold eye shadow? And then the next time he is like, why are you wearing nail polish? You think that this woman's wearing nail polish? And just the, the attention to details and the expectation that we were really gonna put ourselves in these, you know, characters' shoes and, and not just say the lines and feel the things, but really pay attention to the details. I remember my friend Flora, I ended up getting into the same program as my best friend Flora, who I went to LaGuardia with. So funny. But she had, was playing a dancer and her toes were taped and Charles was like, did you do that intentionally?

4 (31m 16s):
And she was like, yeah. And he's like, that's the attention to detail. So I thought that was really special. And I liked how it was really movement based. We had a lot of movement based classes and that was so helpful for me because Like I said it was kind of like locked and my body. So it was great to take mask class and dance class and, and just have a really physical program as well.

3 (31m 37s):
Yeah. Well you said you ended up more uptight than when you went in. What's that story?

4 (31m 44s):
Oh man. I mean, we will get into it. First of all, I think that I, I wasn't as disciplined as I needed to be when I entered the program, but it was very clear from the jump that it was expected that you are on time. If you're late, you are locked outta the class. If you are unprepared, the teachers, they could see through you, they knew. And so there wasn't really any way to, to get around that. And so I kind of had to just like sink my teeth into it, dive in and trust that. I think I was a little scared to fail really, but trust that I had to just go for it because if not, you're gonna get cut. There were a lot of cuts at the time. They were doing tons of cuts and our class ended up being a, a really large graduating class.

4 (32m 28s):
We started at 21 and we ended up at 15 and we were huge. There were, there were like groups of 8, 10, 12, but not really 15. So, so there was that. But I think also, like we had, what were they called? Some like reviews essentially. It'll come to me, the name of it. But we, I remember the first time they're like, dress up look nice and then you're gonna enter and you're gonna take a seat. So everyone came. I mean, I, I think someone wore a literal ball gown, one person, And, you know, we're wearing heels, And, I. My feet are shaking like Bambi, don don't know how to wear these heels. And I, remember that the walk to to sit in the chair felt like an eternity.

4 (33m 9s):
And then you would like sit down. I'm

2 (33m 11s):
Literally having a panic attack listening to this. Like, I'm gonna shit my pants. Like what is hap Wait, so this is for your reviews, like your, your critiques. Oh, oh no. Oh no, no ma'am. No, no, no. Okay, so you sit down and you're dressed up. You look probably so beautiful, but you're scared shitless. And then what do they tell you? What do they tell you?

4 (33m 31s):
Oh, my God. I mean there were so many different comments and some things I could really understand and some notes were really clear. And then other notes were like, like hold, you need to hold yourself up from your bones and not your muscles. And like things, things like that were hard for me to wrap my head around, to be honest with you. Well,

2 (33m 50s):
Yeah. How old, how were hard for

3 (33m 52s):
Anybody to rap. That doesn't make any sense.

2 (33m 56s):
18 years are what make you years old. 18 also, also you're 18 also. That is, for lack of a better term, that is garbley gook. And I understand now as a 48 year old woman, what they mean sort of. And I can imagine. Okay, so what was the f that first time they did it? Every how often? Every year. Every quarter. How?

4 (34m 20s):
Four times a year.

2 (34m 21s):
Four times a year. Yeah. Oh no, goodbye. Goodbye. Hello. Something like

4 (34m 26s):
That. And we were told we were two dressed up So that we had to trust town.

2 (34m 31s):
So how did you, what did you take away Sydney from that first, I'm thinking that first year when you left that evaluation or whatever that they called it, what were you telling yourself and then how did you move forward?

4 (34m 47s):
Well, for me, like one of the big things was speech. Cuz I had a lisp growing up and then I fixed it by just like sticking my tongue in my mouth. And so my, as this sounded like this and my teacher was like, wow, that's, that's a very sharp sound. And actually our speech teacher Lee Dylan was so incredible and she was Oh my God. She was just so amazing. So she really helped, helped me realize that it wasn't about taking away who you are, but it was about finding a way to find like a neutrality and being able to build off of that and remembering that Like I think sometimes we can get so attached, like, this is me, this is who I am. But really it's about like being open to being different people and that not everyone is gonna have your cadence or your, or the way that you speak and can you like, let go a little bit of who you, who you are attached to and, and explore a little bit of what, what sides of yourself, you don't know.

4 (35m 44s):
I felt also Like I really took away that I was so scared to really, really dive into my own feelings. And I think like there was something about, what was it? One of the, I think one of the most important things we did was like, pri being private in a public space. So it's this exercise where you sit and you do something little and just being in the space. And our first year teacher was so good at really holding us accountable and Like I said, calling us on our bullshit if we weren't prepared. But if, if we were prepared and if we were trying, he w he really fostered an environment where you could, like we were saying, fail and, and kind of mess up and, and be messy and just play around and, and learn about ourselves and slow down and breathe and So.

4 (36m 30s):
That's what I really took away from my first year was just taking time and, and being open really to things instead of thinking that I knew it all because I was a literal teenager. And I knew nothing. Well, I knew things but not see

3 (36m 44s):
That at the same time. Like I might have thought I knew it all too. Because you've been going to performing arts school since you were in like sixth grade. Is that, is that when it started? Eighth grade. Eighth grade, yeah. Well first of all, how did you get there so young? And second of all, I mean, I don't really blame you for thinking you kind of already got it because you really did have so much training, but obviously what you're saying is there was something more personal that you really couldn't tease out. Yes. When you were 13 years old that, you know, you had to wait until you were a little bit older, but how did you even wind up starting your training so young?

4 (37m 18s):
So I, I always knew that I wanted to be an actor. Like I don't really remember making a decision. It's just something that I've, I think I've, like, I've known since I was like four or something. And so I moved around a lot as a kid. I'm from Chicago originally then I lived in Jersey for a year and by the time I got to Long Island, I, I lived there for seven years. So that had been like the longest I'd ever stayed somewhere. And I. my mom worked a lot and she wasn't home a lot, so I had a lot of after school activities, so I was doing it all, you know, art, dance, girl scouts, like an anti-bullying thing, everything. And so I just kind of started to realize when I took chorus that I liked performing.

4 (37m 58s):
And then we had this, we had a, a middle school play. And so I played Team Moon in an all white school, which was fascinating for months on this island. And then we had this like dance slash singing group, it was called the Quarter Tones. We wore Kids And, you know, high socks and sang old school songs and we'd go to nursing homes and it was really fun. And so by that time I was really, really, really interested in performing And I knew for sure that that's what I wanted to do with my life. And my mom had gotten a job and we had to move to the city. And I was pretty resistant about moving again.

4 (38m 39s):
But the idea of being able to go to performing arts school was really exciting for me. So I remember that I think P p A S was like one of the only performing arts middle schools and it was grade six through 12. So it was also an opportunity to potentially continue on that trajectory in that school. So I, I remember I auditioned for that school. I got in And I think at the time all my friends in middle school on Long Island knew that I wanted to be an actor. And I remember like screaming that I got in and my friends were jumping and running and running through the halls and everyone was so excited. And so I went there and then, you know, I'm not sure how familiar you are with the New York City High School situation.

3 (39m 21s):
Oh, I, I am like the whole regions thing and everything.

4 (39m 23s):
Yeah, yeah. So the, the thing about it is that the Zone schools in New York City can be pretty tough. They don't always have good educations or graduation rates and you're like kind of stuck in your zone. And at the time I was living on Roosevelt Island and I definitely didn't wanna go to school there. And the issue is that you, you kind of, if You don't have a lot of money and You don't get into a specialty school, it's just kind of tough. And so I needed to get into some sort of school because I think it was like some, someone was telling me it was like $25,000 a semester or something for a High School. it was crazy. And this is, you know, in the two thousands.

4 (40m 6s):
So I auditioned for a Frank Sinatra School of the Arts, LaGuardia I think auditioned for every performing arts school that I possibly could. And I ended up Like I think getting into all of the schools. And that was kind of mind blowing to me, right? Because didn't feel talented. I didn't really have much confidence at all. I'm, yeah, really none. And so it was kind of like a boost, And I, remember like moving to the city and being like, Oh my God, there are people that look like me here, this is so cool. I feel more relaxed. There are so many nice different kinds of people here. And so I ended up going to LaGuardia And I wasn't sure if I really, I loved acting, but I thought maybe I'd do musical theater, maybe I'd be a singer. But I decided to go to LaGuardia just because I didn't wanna go to P P A S anymore.

4 (40m 49s):
But also because I remember when I was in the audition thinking this is really hard and I'm kind of intrigued by that. Like I'm not, I have so much to learn. And, I have Don don't know. I feel a little nervous about acting. And it was exciting to take on something that, that that I felt like there was so much room for growth and expansion for me versus, I mean of course that's true with singing too, but don don't know. It seemed like there was more to do for me in acting. And so I kind of just yeah. Went that way. Well

2 (41m 19s):
Who, and, and I'm curious, who were your, when you were that age, who were your heroes? Like what were you listening to? Who were you watching that you, that you really admired and that you were like, yes, I wanna do what they do? I'm just curious like who your people were.

4 (41m 37s):
You know, it's funny cuz I, I was actually thinking about this question before I came on here cuz it's like one of the, it's one of the questions that people ask you in agency meetings, And, you know? Right? You're meeting casting directors when you're auditioning for schools and Like I don't know that I really ever had one. I I always just kind of felt Like I have all these creative thoughts, And I have all these emotions and what else am I gonna do? you know, it kind of just felt more like, like just something that was built into me. But I will say interesting when I saw Tomb Raider with Angelina Jolie Oh yeah. I was always really interested in Angelina Jolie because there was something like beautiful and stoic about her, but she was also playing all these like, physical characters and Yes, yes.

4 (42m 21s):
I didn't know at the time that I loved to work out. Now I know that. But I, I loved like how, how badass she was and how she was taking on all these intense roles, but that she was also doing so much physically And I remember just thinking, Ugh, I wanna do an action movie so badly. And so she was definitely one of the people I was looking at. But other than that don don't know that I had like a, a ton of, I know I really liked Scarlet Johansen growing up too, but I don know that I really had like a hero in that way,

3 (42m 51s):
Honestly. Same. I'm the same. I have people that who I just love their work, but when I try to think, did I imagine emulating myself after somebody? No. And for me, my answer might be, my reasoning might be a little bit different then yours, my reasoning was Like I didn't really see that much of myself in, in, you know, yeah. In the people on screen. But by the way, salt is an underrated film. Agreed. And I mean they filmed that I used to live in the building that they filmed part of that in No Way Fame's. So cool. Just kind of switching it up a little bit, we had Trammel Tillman on here.

3 (43m 32s):
He told us a crazy story about auditioning for Severance and like the stakes and so dramatic And

2 (43m 40s):
I mean, his, his story was, so if you've listened to the episode

4 (43m 43s):
I did, I play

2 (43m 44s):
Running, I'm the Pier in wherever that is. Where, where wherever they have those auditions and like, there's like, there was like a houseless dude with a cart I think involved and like, anyway, so yes, we Gina more so than me, but I am a fan of Severance, but Gina really turned me on to Severance. So I What was that like? Can you tell us your audition callback booking story for Severance for sure. And how it impacted your life?

4 (44m 11s):
For sure. So I, I think they were doing like the Recurrings of course after the series regular. So mine was like right before the pandemic, you know, popped off. So I have, I'm, I'm usually really, really good about reading all this, you know, specs on the page and like understanding like, you know, how many scenes does this character have? How many lines? But for whatever reason I misremembered this role. And I thought it was a CoStar. And so just like purchase, I was relaxed. I was like, oh, it's just a CoStar, it's just a news scene. And so I went in with way less pressure because at that time in my career, like if I had a callback, I would be shaking, like the paper would be like this.

4 (44m 53s):
I would be shaking so hard, I would be so nervous. Yes. And the adrenaline. Yes, yes. And wanting it. And so I think I went into that space a little more relaxed, And I, like thought the audition was fine, whatever. Then couple, maybe like a week later something, I get a call from my agent. No, my manager, I get a call from my manager and they're like, Hey, so you have a call back and it's gonna be with Ben Stiller. And I was like, excuse me, what? Because, you know, I grew up watching Ben Stiller. I, you know, it's someone that I like saw in so many movies my whole life. And of

2 (45m 31s):
Course it's like, it's like intense. And you were like, why would a CoStar be with Ben Stiller in a callback? And they were like, and is that when you found out it's actually a bigger role than you thought or Well

4 (45m 43s):
Then they added another scene for me. And I was like, okay, cool. And so I, I went back, And I reread And I was like, ah, it's a recur. Okay, And, you know, normally I would beat myself up for not paying attention to something like that. But I was like, wow, that was the best mistake of my life. And I. I remember like, you know, getting, getting kind of in my head about it. And I thought, okay, okay, don't be nervous, don't be nervous, don't be nervous, it's gonna be fine. Like take a breath. And so I prepped for the callback with my friend Sam on the phone. And I worked with an acting coach for like 10, 15 minutes maybe on it. And so I, at the time, Like I was working at SoulCycle, I was really broke, but I was Like, I'm taking a cab to this audition because I'm nervous.

4 (46m 27s):
And I don't wanna be sweating. Let me just go in and, and just take a cab up to the Bronx and be relaxed. So I get there. And, I remember I walk upstairs because the callback was, you know, on the set, not on the set, but you know, the production office was over there. And I remember like sitting in the room and seeing just like one other girl who definitely was auditioning for my part, but she came back out with different sides. They wanted her to read for someone else. So I was like, okay, cool, that's a good sign. And then I was like, don't pay attention to her. Focus on yourself. Breathe. And there was just a couple people around, but I remember I was like sitting And, I was waiting for that, that moment of the nerves to come and they just didn't, it was, I, the only way I can explain it is it felt like the stars aligned.

4 (47m 14s):
I was supposed to be there in that moment and it was my time. And so I went in And, I did the callback, and Ben was so nice, but they were wheeling in like huge towers of like hand sanitizer and all this stuff. We were getting, getting ready for, you know, the pandemic. But this is like prem mask, right? So there was no hand shaking. it was a little like, a little bit like more distant just because no one knew what was really going on yet. And so I did the callback And I, remember it actually made me laugh because Ben was like, oh, you went to LaGuardia, And I. Remember thinking, wow, wouldn't all this student dead. And all anyone ever cares about is LaGuardia. But I did the callback And I, remember Like I think he like smiled or something, or like chuckled And I was like, that's pretty cool.

4 (47m 59s):
And I. Remember calling my boyfriend when I left. I was like, it went well, but I didn't book it, you know, I didn didn't book the role. I I didn't get that feeling of, yeah, I got it.

2 (48m 8s):
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. This is wild. So you didn't have the nerves, you went in, you made Ben Stiller laugh. And what, why did you say you didn't, why did you think you didn't book it? Because you usually get a feeling that's Like I, this is mine. I booked it at the end. Or That's wild.

4 (48m 27s):
May I think part of it was that I was just so unaccustomed to, to being relaxed that I felt like there was like, something's wrong, something's off. Like I wasn't used to being that relaxed. So I think it just felt different. And I couldn't really understand that. But then I got told like way later, no, no, I, I think I was told like, oh, you know, Sydney's in the mix for Natalie And, you know, that took some time and then it was like, hey, she's still in the mix, but we're shutting down for two weeks. And I was like, oh, okay, And. I'm like losing it because at this point, you know, I'm, I know I'm onboarded for more than one episode if this happens and I'm really excited about it. And then they get back and they're kind of like, Hey, so we are gonna be shut down, shutting down for longer.

4 (49m 12s):
And we, you know, no one's getting approval yet. So it took months and months for me to find out whether or not I booked a job. I was going insane. Of

2 (49m 24s):
Course you were. This is, this is very, this is, I've heard this story before with the pandemic and it's like we had someone, I think it was Gilded age, same sort of story with her of like, oh,

3 (49m 36s):
Kelly, Kelly,

2 (49m 37s):
Pero, no one knew what was happening. And then So Wait, how many months are we talking?

4 (49m 43s):
I mean, maybe I'm being dramatic cuz it felt like eons, but I think it might have been like three, four months. It, it took a really long time and they, they were kind of communicating that Like I, I was sure choice and all of that, but that I couldn't, you know, get, it wasn't gonna be the same process because everything was shut down. So then it was like, we're shutting down for four weeks, we're shutting down for another four weeks. And then eventually I got a call that I booked the job and then like 15 minutes later I got a call that I had booked like a national commercial on the same day. And I remember I was like, this is the best day of my life. This is great. I was so, so, so happy. I was just like running around screaming and celebrating and it was so fun. Oh, it was great.

3 (50m 22s):
Oh and so well deserved after just sitting on pins and needles not knowing. I, I hate that. That's the thing that's just people can never don don't think really get accustomed to is just your life being feeling like it's on the wind and it could go this way or that way.

2 (50m 37s):
The other thing is that I'm really interested in is sydnee the, the, the sort of, the way that we as artists, all of us cannot trust our feelings all the time. So like, so there's one thing to, to not the, the business is out of control, right? But then also our own process. I'm like, why didn't I get a call back? It makes no sense to me. I'm perfect for this role. Or why did I, and when people say it's like, it's the leap from when people say, and Gina's big on this and other people are big on this saying like, you know, what is for you will not pass you by and what is not yours is not yours. But it's really hard to know in that process. Well yeah, because we just don't know.

2 (51m 17s):
And you could think, oh, I'm not right for this and then you get it, or, so this, this is like, it worked out. It just feels like this was clearly your role. It is clearly your role. And then did you, so you booked that and the same day you booked something else and then did you go right into production or was there a long another wait or? it

4 (51m 39s):
Was a long wait. I think it was Like I think it ended up being almost like nine months delayed or something like that. So it was a really long time, but I just started prepping in the meantime. you know, I wanted to just first and foremost, I remember when I, when I read the pilot, I was like, Oh, my God. I love this And I remember feeling so lucky and so happy because I think like as actors, you know, Like, I. I really would be so glad to book anything. And I wanna work as much as I can, and I'm so grateful for all opportunities. But if I get to work on something that I respect and that I like, wow, it felt Like I, I hit the lottery, really. And so I remember when I read the pilot, I was like, okay, this is a special pilot.

4 (52m 20s):
And I remember telling my therapist, like, oh, the show's gonna be a hit. He's like, you know, manage your expectations. Maybe, maybe not. I was like, no, no, it's gonna be a hit. Because I hadn't felt that way since I read Handmade Tale, you know, And I remember just thinking like, immediately, immediately I was like, okay, I need to look into cult stuff. And so I started just like researching And I had a lot of downtime, obviously, as most of us had. And so I was just like watching anything I could possibly get my hands on about, you know, totalitarian groups and cults. And it was really, really helpful. So it really gave me some time to kinda like, settle in and like think about what it's like to, to belong to a group like this and where your mind has to be and to kind of like humanize the experience as well.

4 (53m 1s):
And so I spent time doing that, but it was, it was a really long time I couldn't wait to get on set. I was so excited. It's all I was thinking about really. Yeah.

3 (53m 10s):
Yeah. Oh, I, well, And I also this quality that you're describing about feeling like it was really meant for you. I mean, I Tramel talked about that too, and just you And I, don't know how to describe it, but that does come across in the show. There's nothing as thrilling as the show is. There's nothing like that makes you feel nervous. you know, when you watch, even in a really great show, when the stakes are really high and you watch actors just acting so hard, you know, just, it's just, wow, you're working so hard. And there's none of that on Severance. And it's, it's such a great contrast to how devastating the material is, but every single performance is so understated.

3 (53m 57s):
And it's actually kind of making me think about the thing you were saying in the beginning about being theatrical in your self tapes, because Natalie is quite stoic. She is. you know, keeping it all in. And it, I always hear people talk about when they're playing somewhat unsavory characters, you know, you can never think of yourself that way. You have to think of the character and what their, what, how they see themselves And, you know, sort of like everybody pretty much sees themselves as essentially a good person. So how does that thought process work for you in thinking about crafting that character? Because she's as cold as ice, she makes your blood turn cold.

3 (54m 39s):
Yeah. I'm sure that's not how you are thinking about playing her.

4 (54m 46s):
I think it's a balance because for me, I, I really wanted to be realistic about how she sees herself, but how other people see her too. And so, not that I judged her, but I kind of, I've, I I hold her accountable for the things that she's doing. So that I can really understand what it is in the outside world. And then I can kind of forget that and then be her, if that makes sense. But I, I just thought about like what the connection was for her and how much it meant to her to be, or means to her to, to be connected to, to lumen, to the Egans and what the stakes are if she, if she loses that And, I think that, especially in groups like this, that it feels like death.

4 (55m 28s):
So the stakes are life or death. And, I mean, creating the character was interesting because I remember the first day I went on set, it was so quick, I think I, we shot for like 20 minutes or something for this quick news scene. And I was like, oh, that's it. And it was, that was kind of it. But then the next time I had come in for the second day, Ben had seen my Crest commercial and he was like, hi, crest girl. And I was like, Hey, you know, and he was Like I wanna see the Crest smile, you know, and And I just had to kind of trust him. And I feel like it ended up being really creepy. And I didn't expect that. Cuz you know, I, I hope that in life my smile was warm and not offputting, but I remember just like feeling like almost Like don don't know.

4 (56m 14s):
How do I explain it? Like a conduit to the gods in a sense where I could like feel their emotions and then translate that. And so I, I just tried to, to focus on what was I communicating and what was I hearing, and is it the answer I wanna hear? And if it's not, how can I get that person to give me the answer that I do want? Because I think that Like I Natalie is okay with who she is. Right. And she's okay with what she's doing, you know? Yeah. And so she's not conflicted in that way.

2 (56m 46s):
Well, the thing is, the thing is that with that show, everyone for me is completely, it's just so, well, the world is so well constructed and you can tell. And the writing obviously is brilliant. And then the directing is brilliant. And then obviously the acting is brilliant. So you have all these brilliant parts, and then it is as if two things are going on, it's the, it's the closest I've seen to some being able to know that these characters, like you said, are all in, they buy into whatever is happening is life or death without being sh it's not showy.

2 (57m 31s):
But you definitely get that the stakes are so high that I, it's one of these things where I watch, when I watch Severance, I know my blood pressure is through the roof, but I actually appear to be really calm in the room. And that's like, because that's how all the characters are. I'm like, wait a second, why do I feel like I'm gonna die? And yet we're just like having these normal, boring conver I'm watching these seemingly boring or like average conversations. So it's like so smart. I think that's what they mean when there's, when something's smart is Like. I don't even know. Yes, I'm being boiled alive in

3 (58m 4s):
The pot. That's right. That's Oh my God. Yes. Very that very that very that. Yeah. Sydney, are you big on backstory and building your character's history? I mean, even if it never comes across

4 (58m 17s):
On the page. Definitely. For sure. And so I, Like I created a backstory for her that I just like, kind of have in my head. But I also like, really, I, Like I said I had been working at SoulCycle as an instructor, and Like I knew what those meetings were like and the, and the reviews and how, how someone can be smiling at you and you feel like you're being stabbed. And so I, I pulled from that a little bit too about what it's like to be in a positive environment that has like an undercurrent of something else going on. And, and because you can't quite articulate it and you can't say, oh, you did this right cuz nothing's really happening, but you feel it in your body.

4 (58m 57s):
And so I think like that experience and, and working for that company for a couple years really gave me some insight into, into how these discussions could go and how you could kind of like chop someone's head off and paralyze them without doing anything that could be written down and be clearly seen as abusive or cruel. And so, because it's, because it's a little underhanded, you can, I feel like you can almost in that world be like, whoa, what are you talking about? And just turn it around on the other person. And so I pulled from that as well.

3 (59m 32s):
Oh, my God, the fitness world is very that. And a lot of people call Soul Cycle. I know I'm not one of 'em, but people do call Soul Cycle like a cult, you know?

2 (59m 39s):
Like, well also, also person, it's ultimate gaslighting, right? It's the ultimate gaslighting that's done with a smile. But also you don't, the thing is in those environments, I think we're left not knowing w what happened to us. And. I. I think it taps into all of our, at least my stuff of wait, am I r wrong? Are they wrong? Am I what hap what just happened to me? I know I've been profoundly changed, I just don't know what's, what's happened. It also is interesting to me that you have mentioned a lot of times like about physic being connected physically, right? And, and connected.

2 (1h 0m 20s):
And that sounds like where you make a lot of your stuff. And, and Angelina Jolie seems to be the, a similar kind of artist where there's a lot of risk taking physically and also embodying characters physically, And, I, wonder if that is also what makes Severance so brilliant is that all of the actors on that show have a very specific physical presence like Trammel, everyone and the clothing and the what goes on their body, the, the, the look. Anyway, I just, I think everyone on that show their physicality is so specific that I am like, it's just like a, it's like a play.

2 (1h 1m 1s):
It's like a really good play. And everyone has made the comparisons to theater with Severance. I think because of that it's just so spec. I'm like obsessed as a writer too with world building And. I'm like, this is a world like no other. And it is so specific and yet so general and, and, and understandable in the same way. It's brilliant. It's really brilliant art. I mean it's,

3 (1h 1m 26s):
Oh, go ahead, Sydnee. Well,

4 (1h 1m 27s):
I was just gonna say like the, I mean the set helps so much because everybody, everybody there has done such a wonderful job of building the world. I mean like, everything is Lumen a pen, a post-it, so it's not just like what the, what, you know, the audience is seeing on the screen. Like when you enter that space, you feel like

2 (1h 1m 45s):
You were

4 (1h 1m 46s):
At Lumen. And so I think because there was so much specificity anyway, it was a little bit like easier to just kind of step into it. And also, like Natalie has has such better posture than me and she's so much more still. And so I think that really helped me like kind of feel like there's like boiling inside to not be able to move as freely as I would And I also kind of don don't know if I'm using the right martial arts. So, you know, but I think it's like Juujitsu in a way and Severance like you're people are always using your own energy against you to disable you.

3 (1h 2m 16s):
Aikido. That's Aikido. Yeah. I, and it's funny, I'm glad you mentioned stillness because you really do employ stillness in such a powerful way and, and actually watching you makes a person realize, oh yes, of course this is the, like the, the, the epitome of of strength is can be found through stillness sometimes. you know, she's so clear on exactly what her intention is, what she's saying, what she's conveying, what she's getting across.

2 (1h 2m 51s):
So yeah, the epitome of stillness, she'll come back. Is it like the strength is found in those still moments? And, I wonder now as you approach your, like, cuz I'm assuming you're still auditioning for other things, you're doing other work, right? While you're, you know, doing Severance and so it's like, do you, has this process of working on this show informed your, the ta how you take on other characters in auditioning and when you book roles?

4 (1h 3m 20s):
Yeah, absolutely. Well first of all, I think, like for me, like obviously working with Patricia Arquette was incredible and watching her work was such a huge lesson because she has such intense eyes, you know? And like it was, I mean really everybody in that show, they're all also easy to work with cuz they're also talented and they're also committed and they're really listening And, you know, when it's my turn for my coverage, everybody is working just as hard. And it was, first of all, I just respected that so much. And I admired that so much. And I was like, ah, that's the kind of actor I wanna be as my career develops Like, I love that. I love to see that. And you can tell that people just just love acting and, and are and, and no matter how many years they've been doing it, like they're glad to be there.

4 (1h 4m 3s):
And so I think in a way Like I feel so lucky because it's such an incredible experience. And Don don't know that every experience will be like that, but this was such a right. An amazing thing. But I think now it's just Like I think it's, what I've learned is that when you, when you make your choice, you commit to it and you just go all the way and you just do it and don't comment on it, don't comment on it from the outside, but just see what it's like to really commit to a choice. And if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. And then you try something else, right? And again, like making mistakes is ok.

2 (1h 4m 35s):
Yeah. And so how was that handled? This is just a question for like this, like the sets you've been on and, and, and particularly this set w do, was it the kind of set, and they're all different I suppose, but like, was this the kind of set where you could, you could try things out and make mistakes and, and you would be guided and and supported. Did you feel really supported in making choices

4 (1h 4m 59s):
Immensely supported And I mean? I think like, like, you know, first season Like I was nervous. I was really nervous and Like I was just trying to kind of get it together. But like, as, as more time went on Like I would kind of lose my nerves and like start to be like, oh, I have an idea. Let me try this. But also Like I think like each set's different. So some sets you can do so many takes. And then in other sets, I think what it was for me is I realized that if I was really, really listening and paying attention, And I had already done all of my homework and knew the lines like the back of my hand, Like I could recite them in my sleep. It made it just so much easier to be open to things. It also, like, as someone who was just auditioning a lot, I realized that you can plan and prepare, but you have to leave a lot of space for what the other actor's gonna do.

4 (1h 5m 42s):
So you can't come in and think this is how the scene goes, to go in and be like, oh, this is how I think my character feels about the, the scene and, and this is their intention. And also I'm gonna be open to having the conversation like it's the first time ever. But then on other sets, you know, you have one take, two takes, three takes And I think, yeah, that's, that's a very different experience. And like Severance where we, we've done, you know, many takes and, and have time and rehearsed

2 (1h 6m 6s):
Sometimes. Yeah. It sounds like it's it is more ensemble. Oh yeah. Sort of based. And also I think it helps that the creator, like everyone is, a lot of people on that show, they don't, they're not, they act as well as Right as direct as produce. So there's, there's like a real feeling to Yeah, it's, it's just like a whole production vibe versus something that's just for television and then we move on. It just, it feels like a family Yeah. Sort of situation in the same way that I got the same feeling from like The Sopranos, even though they're very different shows, but like, you get that something comes through that you all really appear to love working with each other and that is a, something you can sense in the work watching for me.

2 (1h 6m 56s):
And then my next question is, okay, so are you still singing? Are you still, are you still, are you still moving your body? Are you still dancing? Are you do, what's your, what's your take on theater? What do you wanna do? Yeah. Like what are you doing right now while you're not being a a a a, a famous television actress, are you interested in doing theater? What's happening in

4 (1h 7m 16s):
Your life? Oh yeah, for sure. Ok. Well, I mean, I'm working on like, you know, a couple things right now. I can't talk with them quite yet, but, but I, I definitely Like I realize that I wanna do all of it. I wanna do all of it forever. I wanna do theater, I wanna do film, I wanna do tv because I think that they all inform each other, you know, Like I came back from doing a play in Colorado for three months and it was an amazing experience. And I felt like a better actor when I came back because I was doing it every single day. And I was rehearsing and doing a play and finding new colors even though it was the same script every night. And so I think, like for me it's, it's like the biggest tuneup in the world going and doing theater. Yeah.

4 (1h 7m 56s):
But I will say like, I've really been focused on wanting to do film and TV and simultaneously I was in the mix for like two Broadway shows recently, which was so exciting for me because Oh, my God just even to be in the mix for me is so exciting. don don't care. I'm happy, I'm glad. But I,

2 (1h 8m 12s):
I

4 (1h 8m 12s):
Had, I didn't realize how badly I wanted to do a Broadway show until I was getting kind of close. And I was like, ok, that's on my bucket list.

2 (1h 8m 21s):
Well, Sydnee it also makes sense because you are, were a kid that grew up in New York at a performing arts middle school and High School and then, and, and as much as it's probably in your DNA to be Yeah. In that Broadway mix, so, so, okay. So you still, like, your dream is still to be in a Broadway show. Yes. And do you, what about singing? Are you singing, you said you liked to sing.

4 (1h 8m 48s):
I've been thinking about it, you know, it's like one of those things that kind of like fell off for me a little bit. I think I wanna start taking lessons again, but there's something about singing that for some reason don don't know why, but I'm thinking like, may maybe I need to have like one bit of art that's mine, you know? Oh that I just do just for myself. But I definitely, the thing about me is that I'm, I'm an alto, you know, maybe Meso soprano, but I remember when I first got out And I was auditioning for like, you know, Broadway musicals and Wow. They'd be like, what's next in your book? And what key? And I'm Like I don't know how to answer these questions. So I told my agents Like I would love to do a play where I'm singing, but I don't know that I'm the person to be going out for these shows because the competition is tight And, you know, these amazing actors are working their butts off and have studied this.

4 (1h 9m 31s):
And so I think Like

2 (1h 9m 32s):
I would

4 (1h 9m 33s):
Love to sing for sure in a show or play a character that sings. But really I

2 (1h 9m 38s):
Need to get back And. I'm just Turing you. Yeah. I'm picturing you playing a character on a TV show who's like a pop star. Like wouldn't that be amazing? Oh yeah,

4 (1h 9m 48s):
That would be so fun.

2 (1h 9m 50s):
Like I would love that. Yes. Like we're like looking at one of those. Yeah, like one of those shows where yeah, it's about a pop star and it's someone who can, obviously the actor needs to, we act there butt off, but also can sing Like I could see that happening. I also, yeah, I, I think there's so many ways that you could go about it. I guess the other thing I wanted to ask was, which we try to ask all our guests is like a younger person in that was maybe either middle school or High School. What feedback would you give them? Cuz we have a lot of people that listen that are like my, my, either my kid wants to go to conservatory or So a kid or a parent of a kid coming to you.

2 (1h 10m 33s):
1617 really loves to be on stage. And what would you say, if any, to them about next step in terms of conservatory education?

4 (1h 10m 47s):
So I've thought a lot about school since I've left because I'm glad I went to school. And I think I needed it. Like I said I needed the discipline, I needed to be outta my house. So it was good for me. And Like I was working, you know, junior year, senior year, three shifts on the weekends. I was really busy, but I started going to therapy on Friday mornings before school and that was really helpful for me. So I would say Like, I think that there's really no perfect way to approach it. Some people wanna go to conservatory, some people don't. I think everybody needs to be in class. So I think there's one route which is going to school. And also some people want the experience of going to college. you know, this is a long career and a long life. And, I think that sometimes we like think about acting as the only important thing ever.

4 (1h 11m 28s):
And while it to me is like the most important thing, you have to be a person with interests, with, with balance, in order to, because I think when you have that feeling of desperation, it gets in the way and people can kind of smell it and it stinks on your tastes. So I would say like, ask yourself, like do you wanna go to school? If you wanna go to school, definitely check out conservatories. And if You don't check out classes, go find an incredible voice coach. And I would also say that, especially to like young people, like find out what your priorities are. If your priorities are like partying and going out, then that's gonna be the main aspect of your life. And if your priority is your work, then that's gonna be the main aspect of your life.

4 (1h 12m 8s):
But I really, really, really would encourage anybody who does go to conservatory to go to therapy. Because one thing that was really challenging for me in school was like, we had a teacher and we were doing sense memory, And I, remember, he was like, you shouldn't use a memory that's fresh, it needs to be seven years old or longer, but you guys are so young, so you'll have to pull from new stuff. And we were creating these like traumatic people and these traumatic events. And at the time I really didn't understand what I was doing. And, I don't think it was good for me. And, I think that if I had also had counseling or therapy, I would've been able to do this in a, in a more constructive way. And I also just think that like learning about like psychology is really important to understand people and people I think Like don don't know.

4 (1h 12m 55s):
I feel like going to therapy might be one of the most important things for actors. Yeah. And so I would say like, no matter what you're doing, just try to remember that you are on your path. You have to do what's right. Keep yourself healthy, keep your mental health in check, and keep your life balanced. Because when you keep your life balanced, when you have even like a side job that isn't all consuming, like for example, bartending, I didn't think it was very helpful at all. Like I it to me was more stressful. But I think like if you can find a way to, to balance your life and ask yourself, what do I wanna spend my day-today doing, then that's really the right answer because I'm I looking back on it and looking at people's careers, I thought that you absolutely had to go to conservatory to become an actor.

4 (1h 13m 41s):
And. I just don't feel that way anymore. I think it's a great choice for some people and some people maybe take classes and jump right into it. Like I was auditioning right out of school because we had a showcase at LaGuardia. Sure. But I wasn't ready, you know, I really wasn't ready. I, I thought that it was an enough to just kind of get off book and know the beats, you know, and that was it. And so for me it was really good to go to school and like get very detail oriented. But I, yeah, I would say therapy and to ask yourself what's what's right for you? Because there are so many different ways to approach becoming an actor. And there is no one path.

2 (1h 14m 16s):
Amazing. That is like the greatest. And also Gina, And, I are both four therapists. So we believe, we love when people say go to therapy. I thank, thank agree. Yeah. And thank you. And thank you for coming on. And of course, do you want, is there, where can people, are you on the socials? Can they follow you? I'm, I followed you and you followed me back. That was very nice to you. I can follow you back. Of course you're on Instagram. What's your handle if people wanna

4 (1h 14m 43s):
Name Cole Alexander, my full name. S y d n y, full name c o l e. And then Alexander. That's it. Yeah. Perfect. No Twitter. You're

2 (1h 14m 50s):
Amazing. We'll let you know

5 (1h 15m 2s):
If you liked what you heard today. Please give us a positive five star review and subscribe and tell your friends. I, Survived Theater School is an undeniable ink production. Jen, Bosworth, Ramirez and Gina PCI are the co-hosts. This episode was produced, edited, and sound mixed by Gina pci. For more information about this podcast or other goings on of undeniable ink, please visit our [e-mail]. You can also follow us on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. Thank you.