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Join trauma therapist & host, Lindsay Faas as we look to simplify and find calm in the chaos of the holiday season through reflection, refinement and recharging our batteries.
Show Notes
Show Notes:
We have been diving into simplifying and finding genuine meaning in the midst of the chaos of the holiday season. Today we are digging into what we value and looking at how this can evolve and change over time. We are talking about how to reflect on what serves us, as well as what doesn't serve us well; how to refine what we choose to better reflect what serves us meaningfully; and ways to recharge in the midst of it - both passively as well as actively.
Episode Challenge:
Sit with the questions outlined in the show: What serves you well during this season? What used to serve you well but no longer does? What has never served you well? How might you refine your choices to maximize what serves you well, and reduce the things that don't? And how can you seek out spaces and activities to recharge - both passively (chill out time) and actively (memory making fun or engagement)?
Additional Resources:
Self-assess indicators for burnout and related concerns by using our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide.
Check out some of our related episodes…
· S3E5-8 Reclaiming Self Series (being in alignment with values and being the people we want to be)
· S3E5-8 Reclaiming Self Series (being in alignment with values and being the people we want to be)
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Creators & Guests
What is Behind The Line?
Created for First Responders and Front Line Workers to tackle the challenges of working on the front lines. Dig into topics on burnout, workplace dynamics, managing mental health, balancing family life...and so much more. Created and hosted by Lindsay Faas, clinical counsellor and trauma therapist. View the show notes, and access bonus resources at https://my.thrive-life.ca/behind-the-line.
Hey there and welcome back to Behind the Line.
I’m your host Lindsay Faas. If you are new to Behind the Line, what you should know about me is that I am a clinical counsellor specializing in trauma therapy, and after over a decade working with First Responders and Front Line Workers around issues like burnout, compassion fatigue, PTSD and related OSI’s, I have become a passionate wellness advocate and educator for those who sacrifice so much for our communities out on the front lines. Behind the Line is a place for us to talk about the real life behind the scenes challenges facing you on the front lines. I created this podcast with the hope of bringing easy access to skills for wellness – allowing you to find greater sustainability, both on the job and off.
The countdown is on – Christmas is only a few days away, kids are off school and we are in the thick of it. At this point, our family is well into holiday rituals and traditions – and I thoroughly enjoy watching our kids who are 8 and 5, remember what feels important to our family during this season. It’s also cool seeing what has become meaningful and important to each of them – my son cannot have Christmas without watching Home Alone and laughing until he cries as the unfortunate henchmen get paint cans to the face. My daughter cannot consider it Christmas without interacting with every single Christmas ornament and decoration and singing Jingle Bells at least a thousand times.
I remember when my husband and I first got married, navigating our first couple of Christmases together as a couple were more challenging than either of us expected. We each came to our relationship with strong ties to our own Christmas traditions and there was a huge fight each year over the most important detail: what music you listen to while decorating the tree. I know it might sound stupid…although I’m guessing there are some people listening who have had this exact same fight…but it was honestly a big deal and it got pretty ugly. You see, in my home growing up we listened to Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers Christmas album on cassette tape, played on my dad’s awesome stereo system. Classic. Meanwhile, my husbands family was attached to Boney M’s Christmas album…which to me seems like absolute blasphemy – steel drums and Christmas still do not jive in my head and you won’t ever convince me otherwise. After a couple of years of arguing and trying to blend the two, we decided to make our own Christmas tree decorating mix and added in some of our other favourites including the Barenaked Ladies, Adam Sandler’s Hanukkah song and some other fun ones. While it was a bumpy adjustment, I love what we’ve made and it has become it’s own version of special.
When I think on this, it captures what I want us to talk about today. The thing about the holidays is we can get stuck in various ruts within it. We can get caught in the trap of doing too much and not enjoying any of it. We can get stuck in feelings of loneliness or overwhelm. We can struggle against the commercialism and lost sense of meaning. We can be overly rooted to traditions that don’t serve us anymore. We can be stuck feeling we lack traditions that bring value to us.
When I think about the tree decorating music story, I’m aware that we could have kept fighting about it every year for all of time. Easily that could have been what happened. At some point we looked at it and decided to make a change. The change was uncomfortable, but also better. We paused, reflected on what mattered to each of us, refined it into something that would serve US well, and allow it each year to be a meaningful part of how we connect. Each year we joke about those early years. Each year as we listen we tell our kids about the songs mommy grew up listening to and daddy grew up listening to. It has become a part of our story and storytelling.
I know that is a silly example, but I think it translates more broadly. So often we are auto-piloting through the season. I have spoke with so many people who have said things like “I just have to get through Christmas…” And, I get it. The holidays can be a lot and I get that there is a feeling of just needing to survive it and get to the other side. …But doesn’t that also feel really sad to you? Like we are wishing away parts of our lives? And not just any part, but parts that are, at the heart of it, meant to be revelled in and thoroughly enjoyed. That feels so sad to me.
Now, I’m not saying everyone will or should expect to enjoy the holidays in the same way. Certainly for many the holidays come with grieving, processing losses and firsts without loved ones. For some there is distance from family and friends and a sense of aloneness that can be difficult. There are lots of reasons that can contribute to the holidays not feeling fun and festive, but even in those pieces I think there can be opportunities to choose what we’ll make of it.
Some of my favourite holiday things are really more about slowing down. Sitting in front of my fireplace sipping something warm in my cozy jammies and slippers. Watching the world turn white outside. Feeling the cold crisp air when I step out into the world. Simple things. Quiet things.
I think as I age I find myself working more and more at cutting out the stuff that isn’t serving me. I don’t do a lot of shopping the way I used to. I online shop for my groceries to not be in the chaos with the masses. I limit what I say yes to. And I work really diligently at reflecting on what matters most to me, even as that evolves and changes, and I try to maximize the moments that bring me joy, calm, connection and meaning.
Reflect. Refine. Recharge. That is what I center on, and what I would invite you to center on as well as we near the holiday finish line. Reflect on what has served you well in the past, and what serves you well now. Reflect on what hasn’t served you well. Refine your plans to maximize what serves, and reduce what doesn’t. And allow room to recharge.
I want to say one quick thing about recharging. Recharging doesn’t mean lazy rest. …It CAN mean that, but it doesn’t ONLY mean that. Sometimes recharging is an active state, like how your battery in your car recharges when your cars engine is running and working. While times of quiet restfulness can contribute to recharging, so can energy expending activities. Recharging can sometimes look depleting on the face of it, but in the long run it pays off dividends. A great example is when we take our family to grouse mountain to see Santa, go skating, hike through the snowy woods and a whole bunch of other activities. We are usually there all day – from the time it opens early in the morning to when it closes late at night. It is busy and exciting and demands a lot of energy. But the amount of laughter, the silliness, the awe and wonder, the memories we make – those give back all year long. I think on that day randomly throughout the year and remember with fondness so many of the moments. Those are cherished times, and they give back in spades. So on the surface, it may look like it costs time and energy, not to mention the moolah, but when we let it give back we can find that there is more than what we see on the surface. So yes, think about ways to chill out and recharge passively, but also consider how to maximize the active moments to get something out of them too.
As we wrap up today I want to remind you to please reach out and connect if you have any questions or feedback. You know I love hearing from you and shaping this podcast to echo your needs and interests. I love hearing about what you’re working on and how you are using what we talk about on the show. You can find me on facebook and Instagram, @lindsayafaas, where you can follow me or tag me, or you can email me at support@thrive-life.ca.
To those who love this podcast and share about it to those you know – I want to say a huge thank you. I so value you helping us to make a difference for other front line helpers who risk so much to serve our communities. Know that we can be found online on our website, on most major podcast platforms as well as on youtube. We make all of our resources available to you because the work you do matters, but more than that, YOU matter and we want to make sure you have what you need to keep up the good work at work, as well as in your real life outside of work. So use it, and share it.
Until next time, stay safe. And Merry Christmas friends.