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"A LOT with Audra" is the podcast for women juggling big dreams and full lives. Each episode, host, Audra Dinell, Midwestern wife, mom and neurodivergent multi-six figure entrepreneur encourages women to embrace their many roles holistically by living a values-based life with confidence and joy. Through candid discussions, practical strategies and inspiring stories, this podcast is your guide to designing and achieving success without losing yourself in the process.
Ep78
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Summer of 100 Nos
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[00:00:00]
Audra Dinell: [00:01:00] Hey, welcome back to A Lot with Audra, and welcome to my summer of 100 no's. What in the world do I mean by a summer of 100 no's? Let me tell you. Last fall, I got the opportunity to work with a great coach. We were talking about vision and vocational dreams, and she shared a tool that was shared to her by a coach previously, and that is the goal to get 100 no's.
So hear me out. If you know what you're going for, you have to put it out there. We talked about this in the last episode. Do the thing.
Gamify Rejection
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Audra Dinell: Well, in order to do the thing, you're going to face some sort of rejection. So instead of being scared of that rejection, gamify it. Look forward to it. My thought is that [00:02:00] the more no's we get because we're courageous and willing to put the ask out there for whatever it is, the more yeses that we will find.
No Is Clear Kind
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Audra Dinell: I once heard a sales coach talk about you never want to hear a maybe. A maybe is the worst thing you could hear because a yes, obviously, that's what we're going for. A no, that is clear, and clear is kind. A maybe kinda puts you in this zone where you're still spinning on it, you're still following up, you're still giving a little bit of energy to it because I don't know, it's a maybe, whereas a no is clear and a no is kind.
So let's all take that as a lesson for ourselves too, that when something is a no for us, whether it be an outing with friends or a coffee meeting or a potential project, if you know it's a no, let's not string the other party along. Let's say a clear [00:03:00] no thank you, because no is clear and no is kind. What if instead of thinking about no as a rejection, we choose to switch our perspective and see no as a doorway, a doorway to the eventual yes from somewhere else?
Spreadsheet and Asks
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Audra Dinell: So what I've done this summer is I've created a spreadsheet for myself, and I will link one in the show notes if you, like me, want to embrace the summer of 100 no's.
And what I've decided to do is split my asks into my working weeks of the summer. And so on week one, I made sure to hit 10 asks. And what am I asking? Well, I'm asking if people want to join cohort 12 of The Thread. I'm pitching myself for speaking engagements. I'm reaching out to companies to see if they want to do some emotional agility work.
So I created a [00:04:00] spreadsheet for myself to gamify this system so that I made sure this summer, when I'm feeling on fire for my business and what we have to offer and serve... I want to make sure that I do my work, and that is putting out what I'm doing in the world in a way that someone has the opportunity to say, "Huh, yes, that is for me.
Two Part Goal
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Audra Dinell: I'd love to have a further conversation," or, "No, that's not for me," or, "That's not right now." This goal has two parts, and part one is all about practicing taking risk. I talked about this in our last podcast episode. I want to be a woman who takes risks. Risks and action are what has gotten me to launch a business.
So I know from lived experience that those two skills, the ability to take action and the ability to [00:05:00] tolerate risk, those are important. So my Summer of 100 Nos, with my spreadsheet, it gets me comfortable taking more risk. It helps me look for rooms that I haven't been in before. It helps me start conversations with people that I might not have reached out to.
It helps me evaluate where I'm spending my time. Is it in my comfort zone with people who know me, love me, or is it, yes, doing some of that, but also being brave enough to take the risk of walking in different rooms, starting different conversations? So that's the first part of this goal for the Summer of 100 Nos.
The second part of the goal is to begin to be more okay with rejection, knowing that it's not a rejection of us. It's a not right now or a not for me of what we have to offer, and that's okay. Those are two different things. [00:06:00] But in order to hit a home run, we have to be okay with whiffing the ball. And I literally do not know why I'm using a sports analogy because y'all know I do not know anything about sports.
But in order to succeed at what we want to do, there is going to be rejection along the way. We all know that. We've all experienced that. And being able to tolerate nos and rejection and not align those two things with who we are, our worth, our identity, that is the skill. That is what is so important. So my summer of 100 nos, my spreadsheet that you can download, the two parts are two goals: practice getting comfortable taking risk, and practice being okay with rejection or failure, however you want to frame that.
Expect Yeses Too
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Audra Dinell: Because here's [00:07:00] actually what I think is gonna happen. If we collect 100 nos, we might get 10 yeses, and those yeses are exciting. Those yeses are what is gonna take us and our business into the fall. So what could be a no? A no could be pitching a service, asking for a meeting, and either a straight-up no or not hearing anything, or maybe it's a collaboration that started out as a yes that never transpired.
Count those all.
First Business Lesson
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Audra Dinell: So before we close, here's how this has worked in my life.
Years ago, I started my first business, and what I spent my time on was really my area of expertise. I spent time on the branding and the naming and the photos and the website, and I think, you know, maybe three months daily time talking to my partner, dreaming, [00:08:00] imagining, working with a designer on this launch plan.
And we had the beautiful brand and website and photos to match, and a list of people that we were going to email to tell them about this business that we were going to start. And it came down to launch day, and what happened was we were ready. The website was live. We emailed our people. But what we didn't think about is who our actual clients were gonna be.
Like, that felt way too scary to think about. We were excited to start a business because we had this passion. We were excited to tell our friends and family because we knew they would support us. But what we didn't do, and we were young, and we were novice, what we didn't do is think about who do we actually wanna pitch as our clients?
Who do we want to tell about our service? And I think the reason we [00:09:00] avoided that was because that was scary. There was rejection there. And so what happened after that, after we spent all the time and the energy and the money on the brand and the website, and then we launched, well, what happened was the company I was working for said, "Nope, you cannot start a side hustle."
Back then, it was called moonlighting, if that tells you when that was. You cannot moonlight and also hold this job. What ended up happening was I stayed there and then ultimately ended up leaving. But if I would have started putting the business out there, faced rejection, I would have had the opportunity to make a decision.
Do I get to leave and give it a go at this business, or am I choosing to stay working for this company [00:10:00] knowing that I cannot do both? But I wasn't willing at the time to attach myself to that level of risk. I have seen this repeat in my life again, where it's like I'm excited to put a thing out there, do, like, the marketing, which that's my background, so that makes sense.
But marketing is when people see a thing, and they come to you because of the cool thing you're offering or selling or providing The opposite end of that is going out and telling people, and asking people, and trying to bring people in. And that's the part that back then I did not get. And many times over, if I've had dreams, that has always been the hard part for me of I'm gonna create the thing, I might even promote the thing, but to go out and actually face rejection, that's a whole different skill set.
Building The Thread
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Audra Dinell: Now, I will say I did take nuggets from that lesson, [00:11:00] from that very first business. When I started The Thread, I did something similar. I thought about the idea. I invested in the branding. But what I did differently was before the website was created, before the LLC was pulled, I put together a focus group, and I tested the idea.
And then once I decided it was a go, I definitely got 100 noes. I didn't keep track at that time, but that's what I did differently. I learned from that first business and took that into building The Thread, and I told every single person that I came in contact with what I was doing. And more than that, I made the ask, "Is this something you think that you would find value of?
Do you know anyone on your team that might find value from this? Do you know anyone you can share this with?" And that made all the difference. And so as a [00:12:00] reminder to myself, that's what this Summer of 100 Noes is about. It's about being a beginner again and embracing those two things, getting comfortable with risk and taking rejection as clear and kind, and looking for my yeses, because I know they're out there.
Challenge and Wrap Up
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Audra Dinell: My challenge to you is to download this spreadsheet, it'll be linked in the show notes, and collect your nos along with me If you do this, I'd love to hear how it's going for you. You can connect with me on LinkedIn. I'm @AudraDanelle. Shoot me a message. I'd love to hear how your summer of no's is going