Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
Ever wish you had a mentor to help you become who you were meant to be? Crystal Ware is redefining what it means to become your best self, in business, life, and love and sharing everything she she knows to get YOU there faster.
Are you stuck? Feel like you are meant for more but not sure how to breakthrough? Every week, we will explore all of your questions on building a path to true happiness, achieving success and creating our dream life. Brick by brick, we will work through the issues and mindsets that keep us stuck, dive into finding our passion and how to take ACTION. Clarity (vision) + Confidence (Owning your worth) + Courage (to live life on your own terms and become your own CEO) propels you to your destiny. And the good news it: its all within you!
Each week, host, Crystal Ware, will bring you all of the practical wisdom to grow every aspect of your career and life including mindset, vision, goal planning, social media management, financial acumen and so much more. You'll also meet top business leaders, entrepreneurs, mompreneurers and innovative thinkers who invested in themselves and found their way success and happiness by leading on their own terms.
You were made for more, so start living like it today. Join us as we take action, grow together, and get inspired to reach for your dreams.
[00:00:00]
Welcome to the Get Clear with Crystal Ware podcast, the place where we get clear on our goals, own our worth, and learn to be the CEOs of our own lives. I'm your host, Crystal Ware, lawyer and former Fortune 500 corporate leader. Who found the confidence to say goodbye to a lucrative career and start my own business.
Now I'm opening up the playbook and sharing everything I've learned to get you there faster. It may not be easy, but it will always be worth it because you are made for more. So put on your big girl pants, jump on board and let's reach for the stars. Are you ready to get clear?
Hey friends, welcome back to another episode of get clear with crystal where we are coming in hot this week what we're airing is an interview that I did with Deb Meyer, who will be on my show.
Shortly. She is the owner of worthiness.com. She is a financial planner [00:01:00] and she is the host of the Beyond Budgets Podcast where she aims at transforming family finance. Beyond budgets. So, you know, a really great, title for a really great show. And she invited me on to talk about how I handle finances, what my transition from corporate was, and interesting things like how we handle separate checking accounts with me and my husband.
So a lot of gold in this. Interview episode of the show that we're sharing that also aired on Beyond Budgets recently. So I hope you enjoy. As always, keep getting clear, keep working, aligning your goals with your dreams and your purpose and your passion so that you can live every day to the fullest. Crystal. Thanks so much for joining us on beyond budgets. I'm so excited to be here. Yeah. So tell us a little bit more about your backstory. I know attending college is one thing, but then law school is [00:02:00] a totally different ballgame. What kind of caused you to transition away from corporate America and pursue this entrepreneurial path? Yeah. Like many people, you go to college with an idea in your head of what life is going to be like.
And no matter what people tell you, you don't really understand The transitions that will go on when you get married, when you have children. I didn't go to law school with like some big idea of being a partner law firm. I really went because I wanted to help people to make a difference in lives. I did mission trips as a kid and I just always loved giving back and I thought this was a great way that I can educate myself and ways to help people.
So I was really open minded to where that was going to take me. And I think being open minded and not having like this rigid sense of what my career would look like really lended itself to me being open to making those changes. I really did love my job and everything I was doing in corporate America.
I got my [00:03:00] undergrad in international business. So I was like one of those lucky few people working at an international company, learning about different companies. Cultures, all the things that I wanted to do. But what I realized is that the schedule, in modern day working America, it wasn't really conducive to what I wanted my family life to look like.
And I knew that as much flexibility as I had, I could not really make it. all encompassing of where I wanted it to go. And so that's how I came to the hard decision of leaving and trying something new. Yeah. Yeah. That's interesting that you said international business. I was actually an international business major before I switched to accounting.
Yes, I was going to double major and then I think I had the third highest grade in the accounting classes. But I was like, this is terrible. I did not want to do this. So you chose one path. I went the opposite. I was like [00:04:00] very adamant about, Hey, first job out of college. I need it to be an international business role.
I'm going to be traveling in the world, doing all these cool things. And then the mentor in accounting. No joke. She was an accounting professor. She's like, you should really consider finding something else to major in because it's hard to get international business jobs right out of college. And I was like, Oh, good point.
I'll be sensible. I'll get the accounting degree. And that's just funny that, yeah, I didn't know we had that in common. It's also funny that you say that, but then here in Houston, where I am, you know, lots of oil and gas companies. I knew a lot of people that I went to high school with that became accountants and that was their.
Primary job for the first few years, being the internal auditors for the companies and they traveled around the world. So they still got their international. Yeah. Well, ironically for me, when I started at Deloitte, right out of college, we actually had some ties with India. So I was overseeing some Indian associates once I got promoted [00:05:00] and that was an interesting experience.
I was supposed to go to India, but I backed out kind of at the last minute. And. Ended up switching into financial management shortly thereafter. But yeah, it's crazy how life can take you in different directions, even when you're not anticipating it. Right. Absolutely. Yeah. So for you, a lot of it was motivated by family, making the transition from corporate America and entrepreneurship.
Can you share a little bit more about your family? I know all the listeners here are parents, so for them, family is a big, important priority. Yeah, I have three little boys and they are all about 21 months apart. They came really quickly and I should have kind of known, when I was pregnant with my second son, I actually had my water break at the office.
But I did not want to tell my boss immediately because it was two weeks early and I was like, I'm not ready. I don't have all of my stuff in order to leave and be out for months. so I actually waited like five [00:06:00] hours before I left. And I thought, looking back, I didn't feel like that was a problem, but that's a little bit of a problem.
Yeah, hiding the water breaking kind of a thing. I was just very obsessive with like, These are my things, and these are what I have to do, and I need to have all my stuff buttoned up. And again, I'll go back to, I was in a unique situation. I felt like I had more flexibility than probably most people had, and I always worked for really great bosses that were like, very family oriented.
Mm hmm. But, What I go back to, Deb, and I don't think a lot of people like to hear or talk about because it's not an easy solution is that for thousands of years, we worked very close proximity to our family, and now we're in a world where we're not doing that. Yeah. So, work is is not complimenting our lives.
It's like really kind of pulling us apart for our families. And I think that is the crux of the [00:07:00] problem that working women especially find themselves in. Because I find when I'm working here at my house or I'm working with my husband at his office or other times that I'm just want to be involved with my grandmother is still alive or my parents.
It's just different. And we used to have a society where kids would go to work with their parents and they grew up in the store down the street or they were farming together. And we don't have any of that anymore. And so I think that makes it very, very challenging, especially for working moms who have this, like, nature To want to nurture and be with their family, but they also want to do something.
They also maybe want to contribute and maybe they're ambitious. And that is exactly the kind of difficulty I found myself in. And so rather than just leave corporate America, because I'm not an idle hands kind of person, I was like, I have to do something. And that kind of led me to just serendipity. I met my former business partner and we kind of came together and it's [00:08:00] shifted gears.
And evolved over the time, but that's kind of how I got to where I wanted to be. I just really, as my kids got older, I would say the onesies, twosies, threesies, they need you in one way, but now where we are with my children being seven, nine, and 11, they need me in a lot more Different ways that are more present.
Yes, I could not imagine at this point, you know, having to get up at 7 a. m. and leave and not get home till 6 p. m. when they need so much for me. And I just think it's hard, no matter what you choose is hard. But my heart, I wanted to choose to have more time and more flexibility and be Well, I love that you balance that well, and I think you and I are similar in that boat that we really do want to be there present for our families, but also want to make a positive contribution when it comes to having a business or a role that supports a professional lifestyle where we're really [00:09:00] helping other people outside of our family.
I. Give kudos to you for balancing that as best you can and your family. I guess I want to talk about entrepreneurship for a minute because I know for a lot of people, it's very sexy these days, right? Everyone wants to become an entrepreneur, but I also think there's not enough talk about the kind of downsides of entrepreneurship.
Sometimes like you hear, Oh, you can set up this lifestyle business and it can give you all the freedom and flexibility. But like, What are some of the practical things you've seen as the downsides to entrepreneurship or things that have been more difficult to battle as you've been on this entrepreneurial journey?
Deb, I lead with absolute, brutal honesty. I try to be brutally honest with myself as well as with other people. So the fact that we're talking about this right now, When I have been having, you know, I would say internal struggles with this myself is really appropriate. And I will also lead by answering that and saying, I was just Googling, what are the 10 most queried [00:10:00] questions of working moms?
And one of them was, how can I build a side hustle? How can I build a business with limited time? Like all these things around entrepreneurship, because it is out there and it's so sexy. So I will first by start by saying I started a traditional business with a. Business partner in insurance, because that's really my technical background.
After two years, I realized. It wasn't I loved running the business, but where we were in the cycle of insurance buying and with business ownership in general, and a lot of difficulties that were going on after COVID, it was very clear that it was to get to the point of scale that I needed to be at to keep making sense where I was not wearing all the hats and doing just as much as I was doing in corporate America, but actually making less money.
It didn't make sense. So I actually sold my business to a bigger company who I am still working with and alongside, but in a more flexible way because I am in sales basically. [00:11:00] And then I still have a separate kind of business, which is a more digital business where I am coaching women, helping women, other corporate Christian moms, figure out how do you create something that gives you this balance, whether it's in corporate or doing something else.
And I will tell you in that, I am the one. Person show I have my podcast editor. I have an intern everything else. I am doing and it is hard And I had the moment the other day with my own coach Where I was having trouble Getting this webinar tech Going so I can like just send it out to these people that had already pre registered for my webinar And I really was on the brink of like tears like this is so difficult.
What am I doing? Why am I causing myself more stress and it's not easy Yeah. None of it is easy. So you see it online and like maybe it did come together very well and easily for a handful of people and kudos to them. Like I feel like God is [00:12:00] always giving me a learning experience and it makes me a tougher, better person.
Nothing that I've done or nothing that you will see from me on LinkedIn or the little bit of Instagram that I'm on. Is come easy. Okay. But it is challenging. Entrepreneurship is often you're going to, you know, to recreate your salary or whatever amount of money you really need to feel sustained or satisfied.
You're going to have to wear all the hats for a while. before you have enough income to like offload some of those things. And while you're learning and you're growing and you're figuring it out, it can feel like, you know, you're taking on all of these different tasks as a new job where you don't need it.
It's like you went into accounting with, the technical knowledge, I guess, but not the practical applied knowledge. Sure. That can be very difficult. Yeah. I mean, I think there's a lot of positives, but people need to be realistic. About what that means in the big [00:13:00] picture. Yeah. Well, and it's interesting.
A few years ago, I remember I was on a Ruth Sukup webinar and she had shown this slide of entrepreneurship and how you see like all this activity underneath that no one's actually. privy to but then you see like the little tip of the iceberg and everyone sees that on social media or whatever and it's like okay but there was all this other all this other stuff laying the groundwork for that one little pinnacle of success or iceberg moment that others are recognizing well i will also share one quip that i got I have a friend who is also a client, and they have a, you know, roughly 30 million business.
And I said, you know, her dad started the business. How did your dad do this? What was the secret sauce behind it? Like, obviously he's doing very well. The business is very successful. And you know what she immediately said? And she said, her dad says this all the time. He tried out 12 or 14 other businesses.
[00:14:00] The failed before he hit this successful business and found his stride with that. And so I always try to remember that is like, and that's what else helps me be open to pivot and how am I going to turn and what am I going to do with my business is that, you know, it doesn't always work out. Don't ride a dying ship into the bottom of the ocean, like jump out.
You're not a failure. Yeah, yeah. So I want to touch on this idea of like shifting and pivoting because I think it is important, even if you're not contemplating entrepreneurship. Maybe you just want to stay in corporate America that's working well for your family. That's fine, regardless of male or female.
But how do you suggest people think about that career pivot? Like what are some practical first steps you could advise for someone contemplating a career change? Yeah, well, first and foremost, I would say, what is your why? That is the most important thing. Our purpose as Christians. That doesn't [00:15:00] always like come across the same way to non Christians.
Even people that are non believers, they have a reason, a why. We're driven more about our purpose. What is the bigger picture? What is it that God wants us to be doing in our lives? And trying to figure that out and be in alignment with that, I think, is the first step. Step in deciding what you're going to do, because then you want to build around that you want to build.
What kind of career or business, or is it a time if you're a working mom, is it a time to take a career pause? Those are kind of like the three things that you might be thinking about. Do I need to step forward? Do I need to go into another career? Do I want to be an entrepreneurship or business ownership, or do I need to take a pause or a step back in my career?
And that's all going to be fed by really, what is your bigger purpose? What is your bigger desire in life? And for me, I'll just, you know, it's always good to hear like a real world example. Sometimes I think [00:16:00] mine is in conflict because I really want to be a present and, you know, Available mom, but my purpose and mission is to help other people live a very fulfilling, happy life.
That means I need to work and I need to reach out to people and I need to be in front of people. Yeah. And sometimes I feel like that ambition and drive to really help and make a difference in the world, you know, can be in conflict with my desire to really, Be with my family. So sometimes it's a balancing of the season of life and where you want to go.
But I try to keep that in mind with what I'm doing. You know, I had originally wanted to be a VP. I wanted to really rise the ranks in corporate America. And when I started asking myself these questions, what is my why? What is my purpose? What do I want the bigger picture of my life to look like? And that was not going to be a fit, you know, that would require More [00:17:00] travel.
That would require more time in the office. The opposite things of what I was really wanting in life. And so I had to let that go. So I think once you identify and sit down and answer those questions, some people that will come really quickly and immediately. Other people have never stopped to think about that.
They're just quick Living. Sure. So it may take a month or two and people shouldn't rush that because that will be the foundation of where you want to start thinking about what's your next plan. And from there you can start tailoring in. Do I need a different certificate? Do I need some transferable skills, what other industries or am I in the right industry, but I need to look at another internal type role, these kinds of questions that get into the more minutia and the more pragmatic issues on locating something, but I do believe that it's possible for somebody to find the right thing for them at the right time.
All right, let's switch gears for a minute, cause I know a lot of the podcast listeners are married and [00:18:00] you're married as well. I've always been a big proponent of joint accounts. I've been pretty vocal about it on this podcast and, but I know not everyone agrees and some people have different things that work for their family.
Could you shed a little light on how you work with budgeting and joint accounts versus separate accounts for you and your family? Yes. And it is really always funny when we bring this up. I think it's funny too. So I talk about it a lot. I'm like, I don't think there's anything to be embarrassed about. I mean, I was a little bit older when I got married.
My husband is older than me. And so he was on the older side. Very, very established. We met when I was finishing law school. And then we didn't get married for a little bit thereafter. So he had already been working in his career, which he still does. And he has done for 27 years, something. He was already established.
I was just starting work. And so we just had different accounts. And then once we were joining [00:19:00] together and starting a family and Our home life. I didn't want to change my bank and he didn't want to change his bank. So we have separate accounts. We divided it up into I paid certain bills and he paid certain bills.
Then when we got a new house, they did require us to have An account that they wanted to be auto drafted out of or whatever for a mortgage. So we had that one joint account and then we would just put a certain amount of our salary into it to cover it. And that's the way we've just always had it. We had a budget, but we have lived more on the side of what do we need to save like in the big picture or invest annually.
And if we make more than that, It's good to put more away. We definitely are not big spenders, but we have managed it a little bit more. Like if we're in line with what we're saving and this is what you're doing in this, what I'm [00:20:00] doing from my corporate perspective, then, you know, we're not going to fight over or worry about going to Starbucks or whatever.
So we kind of tackled it more from that way. And we just, you know, Have been able to sustain it that way. Okay. Okay. Here's some follow up questions, since I, I've been more joined since my husband and I got married. And yeah, I don't think we have, either of us has a separate account, to my knowledge, at least, unless he has some secret account I don't know about.
But, I guess practically when you're looking at some of these bigger goals around, let's say saving for college for your kids, are you guys deciding based on respective income levels, like who's going to put more into the 529 savings plan? Is that how you're, you're navigating some of those bigger savings goals or?
The way we kind of looked at it is like, let's just to keep simple numbers. 10, 000 a year in expenses and I make. One third to his two thirds, I just kind of [00:21:00] took a few things that made sense. And really, since he owned the house first and was already paying all those bills, I kind of like opted to pay bills that I liked paying more.
So like tithing to the church, yeah, I do that. Doing the college funds. I do that because things like paying a mortgage. Don't feel that good to me. I mean, I know that sounds crazy, but it just kind of worked out that way. Like he pays what I consider like the mundane bills and I pay what I think is like fun ways to put my money.
And it worked out like that. I do have all the five 29 stuff set up. And so occasionally he'll go in and like add a lump sum or something. If he. One or we discussed it and like, oh, we're ahead. We're behind. Let's put a little extra money in. I contribute that to those every month. And I actually oversee kind of like our investment strategy too.
So even though it's not all [00:22:00] my money, more about that as well, especially having more of the time. Well, in most investments, you can't have a lot of joint accounts. You know, it's a IRA in your name or an IRA in his name, 401k, things like that. How have you navigated that? Because you're kind of checking and saving stuff is more separate.
Are you. Doing like check ins with your husband on a regular basis to show them what that investment mix looks like. Yes, we have, I don't even remember which platform we're using now because I like manual spreadsheets too. We do have a platform where we can like see all of the accounts cause we put them all into an online system where we can kind of like see the holistic picture, my 401k.
That I've just had, I rolled everything together when I moved around and I just kind of like give him an update on that if he can't see it, because there's been occasions where it like fell out or something, but he, because he was established [00:23:00] already, he had a financial advisor and the career that he's in, he works with financial advisors quite a bit anyway for his clients.
So he had a financial advisor. And I said, this is great. This is fine. We don't need to interview other people. And then we talked about how much money we wanted to be contributing there and how we wanted that to work. And then what kind of investment strategies we wanted to do. And then I decided, you know, we were at a point where we wanted to do, you know, I call it more of what the rich people are doing.
You know, we obviously don't have family office money by any stretch of the imagination, but I found it interesting to like, see what kind of like things that they're doing. So we, you know, bought a couple of investment properties. That was my due diligence. I kind of work on that end. We invested in some third party investments for real estate constructions, then started also doing some index funds.
Okay. [00:24:00] Which was easy because I already had that all of his stuff is with a financial advisor And then what I contributed with that as well and then because I had the 401k platform It just made sense for me to say, you know, if we're doing a little extra we want to play with something over here It's already in that platform.
Why would we you know start something new? He's very focused on his job. It just made sense and I liked it. I like knowing about what people are doing and what's the newest kind of view on investing and what are the wealthy people doing that really are coming from the average world. I mean, I'm from a very very working class family.
So this was like all foreign to me. So I really just Like to learning about it. That's great. Either way, you're still having some check ins around where you're still knowledgeable about what he has on the side of the ledger. If something happened to him unexpectedly, that kind of oversight or at least like knowledge base that you wouldn't be left in a lurch.[00:25:00]
And then in the last two years, we went through the whole process of where we could, adding each other to accounts. I mean, so I guess they are now joint, but I just don't concern myself with looking at them day to day. Yep. And vice versa, but wherever you could have payable on death or whatever separate accounts, and it's just like our, Checking account that is, I guess, separate now and what I'm using day to day or my credit card is just mine and he has a credit card with his own accounts.
Well, thanks for diving into that. I know I was getting a little particular with some of the details, but I think it's helpful for listeners to hear that there's more than one way of doing it and not every listener is married. So, you know, even just single parents that are trying to figure out the financial side of.
Making it for their families. I think it's helpful to have a, a new, fresh perspective. Thank you. Yeah, absolutely. I know we're getting a little bit short on time here. Want to wrap up, but tell me a little bit more about [00:26:00] your work with women and especially as it pertains, I know like the gender wage gap is still very real.
I believe according to 2022 statistics, it's. 82 cents on the dollar that every man earns as a woman. How do you frame that when you're working with other, you know, Christian moms, whether they're in corporate America or entrepreneurs to try and help kind of equalize the pay gap or allow women to earn more?
What kind of offerings and services do you have? First and foremost, I really think. The main thing, and it's like these kind of conversations that we're having, Deb, you know, just talking about money. The more we can talk about money as women, the more we're going to be able to make money. And. What I have kind of dived into and learned is that at the end of the day, when we don't value the nature of women, which is like to have children and to raise children, when we're not really valuing that as a [00:27:00] society as we should, I think that kind of diminishes women's value of themselves.
As they grow, as they get into corporate America and making more money, whether you're in entrepreneurship or in corporate America, it starts with how much you feel you're worth. People can feel that. Are you talking about yourself in a positive way or are you diminishing yourself? Are you taking credit for the projects you're doing or are you hiding behind somebody else?
Like. It comes through even when we don't really talk about it. And I really think that gets to the heart of, we just don't really value women and the work that we were created to do in having children and raising children. And I think that's sad. And once we start working through those issues and you can help, I mean, I've just talked to so many women about this.
I feel that once you start diving into all that you've done and you've, you've Seen the success record that you have, [00:28:00] you will feel like you are more valued. You will feel confident in asking for more money. And this transcends, if you're in entrepreneurship or business as well, you're either selling a service or selling a product, you're selling something in entrepreneurship.
So you still have to feel that what you're selling is of a value to people, or you're going to accept less than over and over and over again. And when we talk about the big picture of money and like helping our families and elevating ourselves, you're not going to get there necessarily by like cutting every possible cost out.
You're going to get there by making more money. And I truly believe that the more we can empower women to talk about money, the more money that they can make, the more changes they can make for their families and their lives, whether that's, you know, in a part time role. In a family centric role or still working full time at a company.
I just started a webinar series that we'll be launching here in the next few weeks that'll have different components and [00:29:00] each webinar series is going to be a whopping 7 and only because I feel like when people pay something, they're more. Likely to show up. And when you have a room full of women talking about the same issues, we all get more value out of it.
Women are really community driven people. It's really important to have a room of people that understand, and you can feel like you're not alone in the challenges that you're having in your career, your work, whatever it is. We're probably all having a lot of the same. So I do that. I'm going to be launching a course called salary wise.
The kids just went back to school for summer. So as soon as I can have a few weeks to finish it, all the content is ready. I just have to get it out. It's going to help women, you know, really go through these steps at their own pace to figure out what their worth is, how to present that, how to negotiate that, and how to get the raise that they deserve.
And then I do some one on one coaching as well. Okay. Well, where can people find you, Crystal? I am [00:30:00] at get clear crystal where on Instagram, I'm more involved on LinkedIn with a great group of weather working moms at crystal where I think it's crystal where risk strategist. And then I launched a new fun project, the well defined woman.
com where I write some more in depth articles and you know, free stuff like that. And then my podcast get clear with crystal where. Is, you know, 120 episodes or so in now. So a lot of content there that I talk about these kinds of things, highlight other women that are successful, help people see the different avenues there are to get to wherever they want to go.
That's awesome. Yeah. I actually listened to your episode. So recently on balancing it all, like figuring out, okay, motherhood professional, just trying to keep it all the balls in the air. And I loved how you talked in that episode just about, it's going to be different for every person, right? There's no magic formula that's going to work for me and you and the person that lives [00:31:00] next door.
Like we're all going to have a little bit different journey, but I love the work that you're doing. Thanks. I'm so excited to have been on here and hope this is helpful for all your listeners and look forward to chatting again soon.