Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
How to stop doubting yourself and trust the f**k up - a podcast about unbecoming all the things you thought you needed to be. Here’s to loving all parts of you & leaving NONE of you behind.
11 - REST
Abby: [00:00:00] Oh, hey Fallon.
Fallon: Hi, Abby
Abby: I'm gonna pretend like we haven't been chatting for the last 30 minutes already.
Fallon: we just hopped on with each other. Just, just right now.
Abby: just right now. but today, We felt like a really important topic to all of the listeners and to ourselves, [00:01:00] especially this week, is the importance of rest and yeah, just being able to tap in and know when we do need rest, letting it be okay to rest, you know, contrary to. Popular belief that we need to keep hustling and that's the only way that we'll ever get the things that we want.
Not true.
Fallon: No. In fact, oh, I actually wanna bring up, if I can find it, just, of course, you made me think of it right now. Not at the last 30 minutes of us talking before we were recording, but you gave me. Well, I was messaging you last week or the week before about rest and that I had decided I was gonna be resting the last part of February until I just went to Disney World with my daughter.
I was like, I'm just gonna rest. And you created an affirmation for me, proud of some words that I said, um, [00:02:00] I wanna find it because it was so powerful. So I'm gonna look for it a little bit, but, but I was sharing with you like, oh my gosh. This is actually harder intentional rest. Like it's one thing I can rest when I'm really tired.
Like, okay, I'm tired, I need to rest. But it's another thing to intuitively know I needed to rest, but still feel like I had energy to do things and create things. And so that was where I was like, I remember messaging you and being like, oh man, this is actually hard and doesn't feel that good.
Abby: Mm-hmm. . Yeah, I think I remember that moment. And I think the affirmation was something around like, The more I rest, the more I can actually create and the more prosperous I am and the more clients I attract, or the more, but basically like the more I allow myself to be in this state and to get the nourishment and the things that I need and the rest that I need, the more I [00:03:00] actually thrive and prosper.
because it's right now, it's so backwards in our society and in our culture. And I think that is, well I say this with a grain of salt, like I think that is starting to shift a little bit. But I don't know if I think it's shifting because that is so much of the message that I think we see in the personal development space that we're in.
But I don't know, like I think back to like being in the corporate world and being in corporate America. Um, And even with clients, you know, that I'm working with who are, who are still in the corporate world, it's, it's not like pervasive there. Even after Covid where it was like, ooh, maybe the. , maybe some of this will change a little bit.
Maybe employers will realize that it's, it's okay to work from home or it's okay to, you know, maybe some people are more productive in three hour spurts or maybe other people like [00:04:00] are more productive all day long or whatever. And um, and I don't know that there really has been that much significant change.
in, in, I guess like the corporate world or the world of people working nine to five,
Fallon: Well, and I've been an entrepreneur for a decade now, and it still doesn't feel. You know, if anything, I feel like, oh, I really need to be like hustling and creating and working because you're only making money. You're doing all the Yeah, you're the marketer, you're the salesman, you're the creator, you're the coach, you're the deliverer.
Like you do all the things.
Abby: help desk.
Fallon: Yeah. Help desk . I'm the tech person. I'm the, all the things. And so if I'm not
Abby: the tech people,
Fallon: huh?
Abby: and then listen, some of us should not be the tech people.
Fallon: This not my bus should not be, no. Um, but if I'm not actively always doing something, then I'm, oh, where's the money gonna come from? Where's the support gonna come from? Where's this [00:05:00] gonna come from?
So it can feel like rest is not conducive to turning a profit to, to whatever, to all kinds of things. Right. To my health, to everything. Cuz it's like if I don't. A means or a consistent income, then what am I, what am I doing? But back to, I couldn't find it. You saw me scrolling , but back to like what your affirmation, but it really was like the more I, the more I rest, the more I like prosperity is able to flow to me.
Abby: Mm-hmm.
Fallon: really true actually, because then the less activated our nervous system is, the more open our body is. We manifest through the body. We pull down through that crown chakra all the way through that root chakra when we're manifesting in this reality. And if we're tight and contracted and always like fatigued, it's just leaving little pockets open versus a big like open heart, open, exhale.
And also rest doesn't always feel good, but it [00:06:00] doesn't mean you don't need it. And to your point about like the corporate world, I think. It's a meme or something going around right now, but it's basically like rest was never meant to be earned.
Abby: Yeah.
Fallon: And my daughter, she's six. And the other day before we left for Disney, actually, she was saying something about like, well, mom, sometimes I can be lazy, like when I just wanna rest and watch, you know, her iPad or tv.
And I said, Ooh, honey, that's not laziness, babe. Yeah. And she's like, it isn't. I said, that's not being lazy. You need to rest. That's actually a really good that you're doing that and that's really healthy for you. There's no laziness in resting. And so she was like, oh. Um, and it's just a matter of, again, everything we talk about on our podcast, rewiring those beliefs,
Abby: Yes.
And,
Fallon: different.
Abby: and one thing that you said, . Um, just thinking, like, even thinking about the word contracting, like you're, like, when your body's in [00:07:00] contraction, like the, the image that I got in my mind is like a clamshell, you know, it's like being closed. It's like closed off to anything that's like around it. But if you're, you know, expansive, then it's like things are open, things can flow into you, and things are available to you and.
So keeping that in mind that when you allow yourself to rest, when you give yourself that space and, and more just even outside of rest, but when you give yourself the things that your body needs, then it allows for that expansiveness and that openness and, and the whole, um, rest being earned thing. It just reminded me.
When I was in, when I was working, um, in the corporate world and I worked for a really like toxic boss and I was constantly working, like speaking of like [00:08:00] no rest. It was like somebody who was, who was reaching out to me starting at 6:00 AM every day. Cause I were on the East coast and I was on Pacific Time through like 11:00 PM at night.
So, A always needing to be on, always needing to like have my work face on. Like I remember trying to trying, I went to go get a haircut at on a Wednesday night at like 8:00 PM and I didn't bring my work phone with me. And I came back to all of these nasty messages and phone calls and voicemails. Like, how dare you not answer your phone?
Like, you need to always be working basically. And this person also telling me that if I took. PT O then that meant I wasn't committed to my job, and I'm putting it in quotes.
Fallon: air quotes gross.
Abby: Yeah. And in in no surprise, I was the sickest I'd ever been that year. Like I had horrible. I think bronchitis that turned into pneumonia, like a [00:09:00] flu that turned into bronchitis pneumonia.
And the doctor was like, that's weird. We usually don't see this just like in babies and old people. And I was like, cool. Glad my immune system is like, it's like you know, a baby right now because it's so, cuz my body is just like, yeah, cuz my body's so compromised because I haven't allowed it to rest And.
and I had like eczema breaking out all over like my body. And it was, and like these are some of the things for the listeners who are feeling like, not like they're not resting or they're in burnout or like you just can't, like you feel like you're doing all of these things, but nothing is getting done.
Like these are common symptoms of like, you need to rest.
Fallon: Yeah,
Abby: and you might notice too, there's like a friend of mine who she works so hard and often is not taking time to rest. And then [00:10:00] when the holidays come around or vacation time comes around, she ends up being sick for her entire vacation because it's like her body knows, okay, this is my time, this is my time to rest.
It's time to like let everything manifest that's been built up. And so if you're also noticing that like when you do take time off and you. Being sick or feeling like I hit a brick wall and now I need to lay down and sleep for hours and hours, then this, this episode might be for you.
Fallon: Yeah, and, and I wanna touch back on too, the contraction and expansion. Because contraction is, we need that. There's just a different type of contraction from overdoing and your nervous system being fried versus let me actually just go inside myself or my house or my, let me unplug and rest cuz resting is a contraction in itself.
But it's, it's, it's like the morning gl. Right. They're open in the morning and [00:11:00] they expand in the morning, and then they retreat and they go and they hide for the rest of the day to use their energy for the next day. Um, and so tuning into that in your body of like, okay, I feel contraction happening, but knowing when it's the healthy, nourishing kind that we're really meant to experience, that we're here to experience.
I mean, I guess we're here to experience all of it, but what feels more quote unquote aligned, if you will? What feels like it's it? Getting you to where you wanna go, and oftentimes that might not totally feel good like me resting before I went on a trip to Disney. Like putting all my creations on the back burner, so I could just be, and so sometimes resting may not look like a nap.
It might actually, like for me, what I decided to do was to learn and read. So because I had the energy, I was like, okay, my rest is gonna dive deeper into human design. So I did, I, I'm in a course in human design right now and, and I just decided to watch some episodes and like just, and Jean keys and [00:12:00] just really immerse myself in that, which feels fun and nourishing and take off.
My creator cap take off the pressures that I needed to get something out to the world, to my audience, and that's what rest would look like for me. So, um, so also identifying what season of rest are you in, what do you most need? And have the courage to give it to yourself to gift it to yourself, because it's not only just for you, it's also for everybody else around you.
Abby: Yeah. Yeah. No, I love that. And, and, uh, maybe not as obvious example of this would be for me that I wanted to bring up just personally yesterday, because I. . I had one of my best friends in town this weekend visiting, and it was so nourishing and fulfilling to have her there and her husband there and for all of us to be able to hang out and do fun stuff all weekend.
But on the opposite side of that with my, like [00:13:00] talking about human design, which you just brought up and we'll talk about a little bit more, um, I. Have the, uh, one of my lines or my, what is it called? My six two. So I'm a six two. What is the My Profile Alliance?
Okay. Okay, so one of my profile lines is A two, which is the hermit, and so for me, I am an introvert, so I need to rest and recharge. Oh
Fallon: Okay, real life is happening behind the scenes. Abby's getting pinged by her clients who can bypass the d and d
Abby: yeah, apparently, apparently they're bypassing the dnd. No big deal.
Fallon: So one of my friends calls that Dungeons and Dragons when it's on Do Not Disturb, and he was like, that's the best name,
Abby: Yeah, that's pretty great.
Fallon: So we digress back to back to Abby's profile lines in human design.
Abby: Um, yeah, no, but [00:14:00] just, um, having such a fulfilling and nourishing weekend and then still, like yesterday being like, Ooh, I have the date to myself. I'm gonna get so much done, blah, blah, blah. And then when it gets, when it came down to it, And this was also after getting up early, driving, you know, into Denver to drop them at the airport driving back.
So I'd already done, I don't know, probably like three hours of driving. Not that I need to justify this, but I don't know why. I'm feeling like I have to . But then I just was sitting there on the couch and I was writing down all the things that I wanted to do and wanted to work on, and I was like, I just, I can't.
Get myself to do it or want to do it. And that's like what you're saying about not wanting to feel like you're creating something because you have to, because also that energy comes through and like that's not the, the content or the creation process that is going to be, you know, aligned or attractive to people [00:15:00] cuz they, you know, you can like subtly feel that energy coming from you.
And I was like, what actually? I feel like I need to do today. And that was really like, I don't wanna talk to anybody. I kind of wanna be off my phone and off my computer and I wanna watch like a romantic comedy and just not do much and like read. And that's what I did. And just taking the shame. away from, oh, I should be doing X, Y, and Z.
Fallon: Mm-hmm.
Abby: And realizing that like part of who I am and what makes me work really well is needing that hermit time, that relaxation, that rest in order for me to then come back today and. , do this podcast with you and do all of the other stuff that I wanna do, and do it from a place that feels really good and I feel excited to do it, versus like, ugh, you know?
Fallon: yeah. Well, and you're a projector, so you're not meant [00:16:00] to work, you know, ener like push your energy. Far. Um, and as I'm a Manny gen, so I have like, as apparently they tell me that I'm not supposed to have all this energy. Um, I don't always feel it, but I, I do, I'm a, I have a lot of drive in, in me that, that propels me for sure.
And I have a lot of interests. And so, um, for me it can be. I mean, I think anybody, the societal conditionings around rest and is, is wild. And we're, you know, this is something before we started recording Abby touched on that we wanna talk about, um, we are set up on a 24 hour clock, which is the hormonal rhythms of a man.
So when we're talking about us just as women, regardless of your human design, which I still highly recommend, if you don't know, start to look into, um, Because it is really helpful in how your energy works, how your body's meant to work in this world, in this lifetime, and this [00:17:00] energetic iteration of who you are.
But also we're cyclical, so I don't like, this is something that you talk, like I said, you brought up before, our call is one of the points, so
Abby: Yeah. Well, you think about a human beings in general are cyclical. You know, you go through the forest seasons, there are periods of time, which is the time we're in. We're kind of just leaving the resting time of year. You know, the winter we're kind of entering in the spring when maybe we'll feel some more renewed energy.
But then on top of that, there's being a woman and having. Literally a 28 day cycle where there are gonna be times in your cycle where you have more energy and more access to that energy, and there are gonna be times that are naturally, your body just feels like it needs to rest more. And trusting that there is going to be an ebb and flow of energy and you're not always gonna have access to or [00:18:00] even want to have access to the maximum amount of energy that you could have at any given time.
because it's just not how your body is meant to operate in the first place.
Fallon: Yeah.
Abby: Yeah.
Fallon: Yeah. I used to have a course called Rebel Goddess, and we talked a lot about that. Um, it was a month long course, and part of, part of it was going through the actual energetic seasons of where we're at. Are we in the virgin phase? You know, like right before we bleed, like where are we at in our actual cycle so we can understand more of where our energy is and why it's there.
Um, and so yeah, we're. We get to have rest look different than a man, and it's been, society's been built around a man's clock. So there's been a lot more rewriting of that for, for US women. Um, to, to, on, to honor. [00:19:00] Where we're at in our phase, do you bleed with the full moon? Do you bleed with the new moon?
When do you ovulate? All of that. And, and part probably a lot of our listeners already know this, but if you don't look into it and if you do share with us like, oh man, I love ovulation season. Or I love, like, I'm actually getting ready to bleed this weekend, which is interesting as it's also my birthday weekend and so I'm actually really looking forward cause I'm like, what am I.
Intentionally going to release with this bleed as I'm also celebrating my solar return
Abby: I was like, what gets let go of
Fallon: yeah.
Abby: new, new, uh, year for you?
Fallon: Yeah. But you're right, and we're coming up on the Equinox, which is just now coming out of hibernation, which is we're celebrating the last full moon of the lunar year. Right.
Abby: Yeah.
Fallon: right turn off. I'm like,
Abby: Yeah. The, like the astrological year
Fallon: Yeah. Astra, thank you. Yeah, the, as the lunar year, whatever, [00:20:00] I used to know all this stuff. It's just not my specialty anymore.
Um, but yeah. So you're gonna start to shift and, and change in your energy, energy levels, but what does rest look like for you? What does rest feel like for you? One of the interesting things I have found about my own rest is kind of silly, but I love taking my bra. I am like, it's one of the very first things I do, and I instantly like, oh yeah,
we're like, even if I still have work to do at home, or I'm gonna clean the house or pick things up, just being able to take my bra off sets my body into like a, a state of like, okay, we're rusting.
Even if we're still doing, there's a, there's an energy underneath it that's like, we get to kind of check out of other stuff for the day or of, of peeing in person for the day.
Abby: I that right now does not feel comfortable for me because my boobs are like extra heavy [00:21:00] and sore. I feel like they need a little bit of
Fallon: I've established that she's in the second semester of her pregnancy.
Abby: second semester freshman year, you know, really hoping
Fallon: Yes. And we, we were both, we were born very different, um, body-wise. So I would imagine like I have such a small chest, bras just feel like cumbersome. Cause my boobs don't fully fill them. It's a whole thing. So rest for somebody else. Looks like probably wearing a brawl all day, right? Like we're just get getting to identify little even funny like quirky ways.
You're gonna identify with like, oh, this is like an anchor of like signifying to my body that we get to exhale right now and just, and it might be five minutes, 10 minutes, it might be a day, it might be five days.
Abby: Yeah. For me, a way that, um, like a, a similar thing that I do, not without a brat, but just wearing [00:22:00] sometimes without it, but just wearing like a robe, like a cozy robe. that really signifies rest because it's just like something you can cozy up with on the couch. And that's what I like to kind of feel cozy and read a book or, you know, do my preferred way of resting in that way.
Um, but the other thing I wanted to say, going back to what you said about like the working world, being designed for like a man, um, it's also, and also going back, bringing back to human design, it. , you know, so yes, if you don't know what your, what your design is, then I would, we would encourage you to look it up.
And we are gonna be recording an episode like next week with a humanitarian expert. Um, but the thing is, is that the two, like the two designs that are the most common are also the ones that. Most access to energy, so the maning gens, and the [00:23:00] generators, and that means that the working world is really designed.
Perfectly for people like that, like people who have full access to energy and can keep going like Energizer Bunny all day long. For me as a projector, I am, I am best served working in like three hour increments, like three hours a day. And that means, and and honestly that worked really well for me in.
In the corporate job that I was in because I could go into the office and be there for three hours, zoom through all of my emails, all of my project management stuff, blah, blah, blah. And then I spent the rest of the day going and you know, dropping in job sites or meeting with clients or going out to lunch or stuff like that.
But stuff that didn't feel as much like work, but was still part of my job.
Fallon: Yeah.
Abby: Um, So that's another thing, like I know I have a client right now who, and she can't, she can't figure out what her design is because she can't find [00:24:00] her birth certificate. And it's one of the most frustrating things cuz I just wanna be like, ah, I know you're a projector and you're not meant to work all day.
But like, based on all of the things I know about myself and my other friends and just like being a projector in general, I think that's probably what's going on here. And like no wonder you're burnt out cuz you're not supposed to be working all day. , and
Fallon: your wisdom is best served after you rest and like Yeah, I have a projector client as well, and when she learned that she was a projector and I was, because it's something I, I coach my one-on-one clients in. It's not like a group service that I offer, but. It was like her whole world was like, oh my God, this makes so much sense.
And she, she just turned 50 and she was like, I wish I would've known this my whole life, but I'm so glad I know it now. And I'm like, that's all, you know, like your projector wisdom is really carried through in honoring like, you guys really, whatever rest looks and feels like for you, but you're, you're best served.
Like you give us your all in those three hour sprints, but they feel great for [00:25:00] you.
Abby: Yeah. And super productive. Like I feel like I, I would get more done in those three hours than all of my coworkers in the entire day, but because I could just sit and do like really focused work and like just get things. Done, done, done, done. And then I felt very gr then I'm like, cool, and I'm out and I don't feel the need to stay here until like 4:00 PM I'm gonna, I'm gonna head out.
And, and I also had like that autonomy just in the job that I was in, which I realized not everybody does, but there are ways that you can kind of design that into your, your corp corporate world.
Fallon: Yes. And so making sure to setting yourself up for success with a good bed. , like this is all stuff that you guys have all probably heard before, but like really get self, like radical self honesty and responsibility. Where can you be going to bed earlier? Where can you either let yourself, sometimes I have to give myself permission to sleep in when I know that I can and or [00:26:00] get up earlier to make sure that I'm getting my own grounding time in that, that that helps me set up my energy for the day eating well.
Abby: Mm-hmm.
Fallon: staying hydrated, drinking really good water, not just your tap water. Like all of these things can really help your energy levels, but really maximizing where you are able to rest even by 15 minutes on either side, so at night or in the morning,
Abby: Mm.
Fallon: but getting like really looking and defining what rest would feel good for you.
On the other side of the discomfort of having to walk through, creating a little bit more for.
Abby: Yeah, because it, I mean, it's gonna look different for everybody, like some rest and in disentangling, like the shame that comes from resting. I need, oh, I can't rest. I need to be doing this other thing. Or I can't rest because I still have work. I need to finish before I go to bed, or have to wake up early [00:27:00] and check my emails really early because like then I get a good start in the day or whatever.
Fallon: Well, and if you're a mom too, you're gonna be looking at all the clutter around the house and all the laundry that needs to be done unfolded, and all the crayons and all. Sometimes you just need to let it go. It means nothing about your capabilities, your abilities. It means nothing about how clean or dirty your house is.
You've gotta unplug. And for me, when the shame comes up, I'm just like, yep, I see you. Thank you for letting me know this is uncomfortable. Thank you for letting me know we're doing something different. I see you. This is like my process of leaving none of me behind. I see you. I love you, and I'm not letting you lead.
Shame is not leading this.
one
Abby: Hmm. Yeah. Yeah. And I think, I don't know if we've said this on, on other podcasts or not, but just. Learning to ask yourself the question, what would feel really good for for my body today? And letting yourself do whatever the answer is. And if that's rest, then great. [00:28:00] If that's, I wanna move my body, great.
But the most important thing is, Outside of all of this is learning how to trust yourself. Learning how to trust your intuition and your body wisdom. And because all of that is gonna come to you, but it might be, especially if you're new to the work, very subtle in the beginning, and there's a lot of conditioning that's gonna try to convince you to do other things instead, because of X, Y, Z reasons that have been projected onto for the last however many years of your life.
But learning how to. Take a few deep breaths. Ask yourself that question either aloud, internally or journal it out, whatever you wanna do, and just listen for what is the answer, what would feel really good. You can put your hand on your womb, on your heart. Just whatever feels good. But learning how to trust whatever comes through and recognizing it as [00:29:00] your own intuition, your own intuitive knowledge, and that is always gonna.
Anything else?
Fallon: Yeah, and it strengthened, like if you want your intuition to be louder,
Abby: Mm-hmm.
Fallon: what Abby just said, is how that practice right there. You then learn that you can trust your intuition and then it becomes louder and more accessible. Um, and if you're somebody that's listening to this, that's like, ugh, no way.
No way. Like you, I just wanna remind you that you've just learned safety in constantly going and constantly doing. It's a nervous system response that you've learned. That's all. And so if you feel like rest is like gross or not for you, or I just can't do it, or I just don't have the time, what if that's just an old story and you're listening to this for a reason because something is inviting you into more rest so that we can shift out of any dis-ease that might be.
Coming, like your friend [00:30:00] who goes on vacation and then gets sick on her vacations because she's, you know, learned that there's not safety and rest without a reason. So we are inviting you. Go take a nap, bitches,
Abby: Go read a book. Go
Fallon: drink a
Abby: a Netflix show. That has a happy ending.
Fallon: and just like, just sit and just drink it. And with no laptop in hand or phone.
Abby: Yeah. Mm. That sounds nice.
Fallon: So nice as always, thank you for listening. Share with us your biggest ahas, your biggest takeaways where you're struggling with rest. Tag us, you know where to find us online. Everything's in our show notes. And thank you for joining us and share. Share this episode.
Abby: And also share if there's anything, if there are any, after anything that we said. If there's anything coming up that's like, yeah, but, mm mm because that's the stuff that we get to look at. Cuz there's a, there's something in [00:31:00] there that you're wanting to resist and that's cool. That's why we're here.
That's why we're doing this work
Fallon: Yes, absolutely.
Abby: of it. And all of you and all of you, Fallon,
Fallon: and all of you, Abby , we love you
Abby: love you,