Gentlemen Let's Talk About

In this episode, I’m pulling back the curtain on a personal ritual that involves invoking what I refer to as ‘The Dirty Dozen’.

These are 12 questions I regularly ask myself to stay grounded, focused, and aligned with the man I strive to be. 
These aren’t surface-level reflections; they’re the tough, honest, and sometimes uncomfortable check-ins that keep me sharp in a world full of noise.

Whether you're navigating your career, your relationships, or your own personal standards, these questions are designed to challenge complacency and reinforce purpose. 

If you're a man committed to self-mastery and showing up with intention, this one's for you.


What is Gentlemen Let's Talk About?

About Matters that should Matter to Men

Arvind Vijay Mohan:

Let's talk about my dirty dozen. What is my dirty dozen? I'm sure you're asking right now. Right? I'll come around to that in just a minute.

Arvind Vijay Mohan:

But first, let me take you into the chambers of a long standing billionaire client of mine. In this very, very swanky suite of his, there's a table on which I noticed for the first time a book with a very impressive cover. Liv intentionally, suggested the thus cover of this very impressive book. Now given his enormous success at work and also in life at large, I decided to give a stance a shot. But I soon found myself wading through days that were riddled with crazy productivity hags, being fed on this mindful organic only serial selection, and scheduled spontaneity, as silly as that sounds.

Arvind Vijay Mohan:

But all this intentional intellectual hydration, however, did result in something that I believe was of tremendous value to me, asking pertinent questions. Questions that are directed at myself. Think of this as me versus me, both in the red shorts as well as the blue shorts. Now these are not the sort that you'd find in self help books with sunsets on the covers. These are more like the sort that yank you aggressively, violently, shaking you up by the collar when no one's watching very intentionally.

Arvind Vijay Mohan:

These are like intellectual incense sticks that nudge and provoke, but also please you pleasantly just simply with their presence. These questions are what I refer to as my dirty dozen. 12 essential questions that serve as my guiding north star. The first question that I ask myself is, would I respect me if I weren't me? This is the ultimate character test for anyone.

Arvind Vijay Mohan:

There's no sugar coating involved whatsoever. The second is, am I pursuing excellence or am I just constantly chasing mediocrity? It's very important to ask yourself this. The third is, when was the last time I acknowledged publicly or privately that I was wrong? And if you haven't, then you need to think about it.

Arvind Vijay Mohan:

The fourth is, am I creating a life or desire or am I merely just upgrading the cage and finding some joy in the latest BMW that I'm driving? The fifth is, and this one's important, would my grandparents nod approvingly at what I'm doing with my life right now, or would they just raise an eyebrow silently? That raising the eyebrow is something that I would avoid at all costs. The sixth is who do I envy, and why do I envy this person? The why, my friends, is more revealing than you'd imagine, and it's something to think about carefully.

Arvind Vijay Mohan:

The seventh is, and this is again very important. Do I fully wholly rest or do I simply just collapse between sprints? Because if I'm not resting fully, I'm doing something wrong. The eighth is, is there anything that I am consistently avoiding, and what is this avoidance costing me? Procrastination, that dirty little word, is rarely if ever free.

Arvind Vijay Mohan:

It just mails you the invoice later. Now I have a very very interesting equation with procrastination, and I made my peace with it, but it's something that you have to always be aware of because procrastination can throw you down the well without you so much as realizing it. The ninth question is, when was the last time I truly changed my mind? Am I so close minded to not be willing to change my mind? And if I'm not changing my mind, I'm staying in a rut that could be very dangerous for me.

Arvind Vijay Mohan:

The tenth question is, am I living my values truly, intentionally, or am I just tweeting them for the world to applaud me? The eleventh is, am I truly listening to others, or am I just editing the response even as they're speaking to me? Because if I'm doing that, I'm completely close to the voice of others. The twelfth and the final one is, am I truly genuinely honest or just skilled at sounding right? Eloquence and integrity are not the same things, my friend, and that's something that you'll must remember.

Arvind Vijay Mohan:

Now I don't always answer these questions well. Some weeks, I just skip them completely. But the questions, these dirty dozen, they wait for me patiently, kinda like the uncles lining up at the buffet counter where naans are being served at weddings. These questions follow me around everywhere, like emotionally intelligent, perfectly tuned drones that remind me ever so regularly that a meaningful life is built upon my own quiet choices, choices that I make daily, Choices that are defined and determined by how I respond to my dirty dozen. Now have you all ever thought about questions as such?

Arvind Vijay Mohan:

And do you all have questions that you'll answer to every day or every week or every month? If you do, tell me about them because I'd love for us to start a discussion on that.