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Are you someone who cares about people? Do you seek information to support people you care about who have families? Do you care about people affected by addiction, substance use disorders, or work in the field of family support or peer recovery support? Spend about twenty minutes each month with the President and CEO of Archways Recovery Community Organization and Family Resource Centers who shares hope, strength and stories from the field and practice of Peer Recovery Support Services and Family Support & Strengthening.
Narrator 00:02
Welcome to Archways' Threads, a show focusing on the threads of family and recovery support services that help make up the tapestry of life in recovery. Join us as we share stories from peers and participants in the field and practice of peer recovery support and family support and strengthening. And now your host, Archways' CEO Michelle Lennon.
Michelle Lennon 00:28
All right, I am here with Miss Cara LaPlante, who is the Wellness Initiatives Coordinator for four recovery centers in New Hampshire, and also is a leader in the collegiate recovery space, does a lot of work with Plymouth State University, the New Hampshire Technical Institute--among other things, right?--and has been a national speaker on topics of peer recovery support, mostly focusing on identity change and collegiate recovery, alternative peer groups, things like that. And she's here today to talk about developing good habits.
Cara LaPlante 01:11
Yeah.
Michelle Lennon 01:12
Yeah.
Cara LaPlante 01:12
Thank you so much.
Michelle Lennon 01:13
That's what we're covering today. So, I think to myself, I had a lot of bias about what a habit was. Yeah.
Cara LaPlante 01:21
Me too.
Michelle Lennon 01:22
And you know, just thinking that getting trained on some of this stuff for me became a little bit of a passion, because I had worked with those health and fitness coaches, that I started to be convinced I could never set a new habit because the attention deficit wiring in my brain. And it's like, I thought, "Well, this is pretty much impossible," because I will tell you, like quite honestly, even brushing my teeth does not come naturally to me, and I'm 55 years old. Picking up after myself, putting stuff down completely unintentionally, you know, leads to those moments of, "Yes, I have a half hour for my morning, but I still left my phone somewhere that I cannot find." And you know, I'll find it in a laundry basket underneath another piece of laundry or something, when I say, "Hey, Siri, where are you?" So, habit creation became something that was, like, really fascinating to me, and I did a little bit of research. Of course, I tell everybody read the book "Atomic Habits" by James Clear. I'm a big fan. And a lot of what we're going to talk about today is stuff that he kind of re-brought to light from different people that have talked about habit creation over time. But I remember feeling like there was something wrong with me, when everybody talks about how it only takes 28 days or something to create a habit or 30 days to create a habit--you've heard that--and just thought, "It doesn't work for me."
Cara LaPlante 02:55
Absolutely. Yeah, and I think that common rhetoric around a habit that, "Oh, it just takes three weeks. Like, if you can just power through for three weeks," is really discouraging for folks, especially folks neurodivergent, who are neurodivergent, and especially for folks who are struggling with substance use and addiction too. And you know, those populations do have a pretty strong intersection of neurodivergency and substance use, and so, I think work supporting folks in understanding what a habit is and what that actually means and what it takes is really important in recovery peer support.
Michelle Lennon 03:34
Yeah. So how do you define habit?
Cara LaPlante 03:38
So I--a habit is not something that you do subconsciously without having to think about it. Right? That's kind of how, generally speaking, folks will talk about a habit. But a habit is a routine, a behavior, a practice that is repeated regularly, and it's activated by a cue and reinforced by a reward, so it becomes an automatic response that's hard to change. But it's not necessarily something that doesn't require any effort going into it.
Michelle Lennon 04:15
Yeah. One of the things that I loved about James Clear's work is he pointed out that, like, you don't have to be 100% better at anything, like, if you're trying to set a new habit. And he talks about being 1% better every day, and that if you can get 1% better every day, you'll be--what is it?--30-something percent better by the end of the year. But, it's this idea that little gains can lead to great results over time, and it just aligns so well with what we know about protective factors--that it's the everyday actions that make change. Or, how we rebuild trust in relationships when addiction has been in a family--that it's that consistency of new behavior that builds trust, not words. So, learning about this was super helpful to me, because there's a lot of things that we can do in our everyday actions that will often determine life getting better in different areas for us.
Cara LaPlante 05:21
Absolutely. And I think the 1%-better perspective, too, makes it much more approachable for for everyday folks. A lot of folks will get into the cycle of going 100% in, "I'm gonna work out for an hour every single day," if we're focusing on physical health. When you've never worked out before--or you haven't in 20 years--and it's scary. It's unapproachable at that point, when our goal is so big.
Michelle Lennon 05:53
Yeah. And I think, like, I've done a lot of work about, with health and fitness. Like, getting healthier has been a goal, and it's been more for longevity, to reduce pain. I'm getting older. It's not about the svelte figure, you know. But, healthy living in general isn't about doing everything. It's about doing a few things very consistently. And that was a new way of thinking about creating new habits for me, because I have said before, like, I have an all or nothing mindset. It's like, you go all in or you go home, and that's really not what we talk about when we talk about developing new habits. The small habits practiced daily shape long-term health far more than occasional efforts that--it's like the all or nothing--and that kind of fizzle and and die. We talked a little bit about that when we talked about identity, but thinking about new habit creation can be a smaller place to start with participants who are just trying to make some very simple changes in their lives that will help enhance their wellness over time. So, when I think about this, it's so helpful to understand the habit cycle. Right? Because it's really a neurological feedback loop, and we've talked a little bit about how that's been true when changing beliefs around something. But it's also true when creating new habits. Right? So, how about talking a little bit about what is the habit cycle? What does it look like, and what do you see or feel when you're in a habit cycle?
Cara LaPlante 07:31
Totally. And another note on the habit cycle: it's important knowledge because it gives us more understanding of what influences our behaviors because it's not just our identity, like we talked about. It's also neurobiology in our environment. And as human beings, we don't make choices and act on behaviors for no reason. And so, I think getting a little into it is important, so we have a better understanding of what we're feeling and our experiences may be coming from.
Michelle Lennon 08:05
Why we do what we do, because sometimes we don't even recognize that we're in a habit cycle.
Cara LaPlante 08:10
Totally.
Michelle Lennon 08:11
Yeah.
Cara LaPlante 08:11
Yeah. I think--an example of mine is I used to smoke cigarettes, and my, the car, being in the car was, like, the spot I smoked cigarettes the most, and I kept them in my center console. I haven't smoked in years, but sometimes I still find myself opening the center console. You just, like, yeah--those rituals, and we'll get into that. But there's four parts of the habit cycle: cue, craving, response, and reward. So, when we talk about the cue, we're ditching the word trigger. It's stigmatizing, and it's not--it doesn't align with suicide prevention initiatives and efforts.
Michelle Lennon 08:11
I mean, I think of the word trigger, and I feel like you can't stop it, too.
Cara LaPlante 08:56
Yeah.
Michelle Lennon 08:58
You know, and I know you're going to talk about the cue, but there's space to stop the action from continuing.
Cara LaPlante 09:08
Absolutely.
Michelle Lennon 09:09
Yeah.
Cara LaPlante 09:09
Yeah, with the awareness. But the--so the cue is the thing that activates. That's the more empowering language that we can use. So, the cue that activates, and there's different--there's different aspects that activate a habit. We can look at time, time of day. Where we are: my example of being in the car.
Michelle Lennon 09:31
Or 2 o'clock in the afternoon. "Where's my coffee?"
Cara LaPlante 09:33
Yeah, absolutely. I've got my coffee sitting over there right now.
Michelle Lennon 09:37
Yeah.
Cara LaPlante 09:37
Preceding events, a stressful conversation with a family member that you're anticipating.
Michelle Lennon 09:44
Oh, yes. Emotional eating, that's, like, one of my things, and so now that I'm aware of that, I look for alternative coping mechanisms. Sometimes.
Cara LaPlante 09:55
Totally.
Michelle Lennon 09:56
Yeah.
Cara LaPlante 09:56
Absolutely. Our emotional state, what we're feeling internally, and then other people. Are other people indulging in a habit or acting on behaviors? And what's going on around them?
Michelle Lennon 10:09
And it can be a good cue too, because I know I stopped by my friend Donna's house, and they're all putting their sneakers on to go for a walk. And she invited somebody else that I knew, and then one of her friends. And it's like, what do I do? I go, "I have my sneakers on." I'm like, "Can I borrow a sweatshirt?" Like, it's a cue, right? "We're going for a walk." So it can be healthy too.
Cara LaPlante 10:28
Absolutely, it definitely can be healthy. So that's what a cue is. And then we can talk about craving--so, the jonesing, the really strong wanting and desire, like, the pull to act on something. And this strong motivation is behind every habit, the underlying perceived need that is activating it. So, what need are we trying to get met? And your body is producing feelings of craving to get that need met, the anticipation of the reward activator. So, we're craving something because we know that we will get a reward afterwards. And then the actual reason activator--I think that would be more like environmental.
Michelle Lennon 11:21
Yeah, I think of somebody that we worked with who used to drive home a certain way, always past the liquor store. He would say that he would pass that liquor store, and his mouth would start watering. Like, he would have that physiological reaction to the thought of taking a drink every time he would drive by the liquor store. And he would go by it and call a sponsor. He would talk to somebody about it, because in his case, he worked a 12-step program. And the response of the sponsor, he said was, "Can you take a different route?" And as soon as he started taking a different route, the cue wasn't happening. He wasn't having that experience of his mouth watering and having the itchies to to want to go take a drink.
Cara LaPlante 11:44
Absolutely.
Michelle Lennon 11:49
Yeah.
Cara LaPlante 11:51
Yeah.
Michelle Lennon 11:53
So it makes sense.
Cara LaPlante 12:08
Definitely. And then we have the response, the action that we take, the behavior that we perform. In the example you just shared, Michelle, like feeling that feeling of craving, calling someone for support, and then also taking the action to change, to change something.
Michelle Lennon 12:30
Or taking the drink.
Cara LaPlante 12:31
Or taking the drink.
Michelle Lennon 12:32
And that's the thing that we try to bring awareness to, to our participants in programming, that when the craving happens, there is space between the cue, the craving, and the response. Because that's where we see people talk about a habit, like addiction being a habit. Like, there's much more involved. It's much more complex, and we know that. Addiction is much more complex than that. But there's space in between when a cue happens, a craving happens, and a response happens. And so, thinking about that, we want to increase the spaces so that we're taking control of our behavior when we talk about habit in general, whether it's a healthy habit or a habit that we're trying to change that's challenging for us. Kind of, understanding that we can surf the urge is important, and it's another reason why I don't like that word trigger, because it implies that there's no stopping it. But there is. There's opportunity here to come to awareness that there's this space in between, and what do we do with that space? And that gentleman's space, he reached out for support. If he hadn't, and just stepped in, he could have gone anticipating the reward. The reward would have come from having the drink, or the substance, whatever it might be, because for many of us who use substances, there is a reward in that. So, we try to get away from that and try to fill our lives with new habits, new things that are going to provide a reward, which is important. And I know we'll talk a little bit more about why that's important of experiencing the reward. Right?
Cara LaPlante 14:28
Yeah, absolutely. But that's the habit cycle: cue, the activator; the craving, the strong desire to act on something; the response, the action that we take; and then the reward, the payoff, like what we were just talking about. And going back to the identity thing again, it reinforces our identity, the reward that we get-- not just the dopamine and neurobiologically, what's happening in our bodies, but how we see ourselves in the world.
Michelle Lennon 15:07
So, just thinking about this, what would it look like if every habit you practice lined up with the person that you wanted to be? You know, your personal mission statement, maybe your core values, thinking about your personal identity that you're maybe striving for or that you identify with. Recognizing that these are skills that we can learn, I think, is pretty powerful, because it doesn't mean that we have to stay stuck anywhere. You have the skills to grow those habits to bring things into your life that are healthy that you can do on repeat--right?--to help build consistency in your life and help reinforce who you want to be. It's more than about being more productive, when we talk about habit creation. it's not about how much you can jam into your Google Calendar to reach the the goal of being fit and healthy, or to be a solid person in recovery. It's really more than that. It really connects to identity, who you want to be. It creates goals about building the person that you want to be. And habit mastery can help improve your skills as you support participants in better recovery planning, because we can kind of see where, maybe, there is a habit that needs to be changed, or maybe somebody has identified habits that kind of line up with with the person they want to be. And what are those things that they need maybe some support around?
Cara LaPlante 16:50
Absolutely, yeah. Also, aligning with the work supporting participants that goes beyond the crisis navigation. I think this can also kind of align with the smart goal aspect of the deeper work of a personal mission statement and recovery planning around, "What daily actions are you going to take to build that consistency?"
Michelle Lennon 17:18
Yeah, because it's great to say, "I'm going to run a half-hour a day." It's another thing to actually make it happen and follow through. And this is where I think I misunderstood what habit was. Like, I'd thought, you know, that after 30 days of running every day, it was just going to come naturally, and I didn't have to, like, be intentional about it. And what I found is I really had to follow the four foundational principles of creating a good habit, which is basically the small steps that have a big impact--simple, realistic, doable--and really accepting that consistency is a whole lot more important than perfection, really letting go of that all or nothing mindset, because it wasn't just about having it on my calendar: Half-hour Run. It was following the four foundational principles to the extreme, because otherwise it wasn't happening. So like, the first principle of creating a good habit is to make it obvious. Right? So, if I didn't have my sneakers by the door, if I didn't have my socks in my shoes, if I did not have a hair tie there, if I didn't have clothes on that were comfortable for running, it wasn't happening. So like, I had to be very intentional about that, so that first principle to kind of take note of is, "Make it obvious." And it doesn't matter what habit you're trying to create. If it's getting more water in, how do you make it obvious? Maybe you have a big jug of water that you leave your house with that's marked of how you're going to drink this by the end of the day. Or maybe it's just throwing four water bottles in your bag or putting them out on your desk in the morning so that you know by the end of the day you're through them. It's like, how how do you make it obvious? And it works with pretty much anything. If you want to do more journaling, if it doesn't work to have it on your nightstand, stick it on your pillow, so you can't miss it when you go to bed or when you're going to get up in the morning or something. Because I do feel like there are a lot of things that I intended to do, when it came to creating good habits, that I just didn't because I didn't think of it. It wasn't like I was being willfully disobedient to my goal plan or my strategic plan or whatever it was that I was working on. It was more that I just didn't think of it.
Michelle Lennon 19:36
And I do things that are not in alignment with my identity statement, my goal plan, my mission statement when I am not thinking about it.
Cara LaPlante 20:09
Absolutely.
Cara LaPlante 20:10
Yeah.
Michelle Lennon 20:10
And then I tend to think about it afterwards and do the course correction. I try not to condemn myself, because I am someone when I get emotionally down on myself, I tend to eat my emotions, which also sabotages my goal plans. So, making it obvious, I think, is important.
Cara LaPlante 20:30
Yeah.
Michelle Lennon 20:31
You know, make it obvious.
Narrator 20:38
Thank you for listening to Archways' Threads. If there is a topic you'd like to see us cover, email us at podcast@archwaysnh.org or call us at 603-960-2128. Visit our website at archwaysnh.org to learn more about the Archways Family of Recovery and Family Resource Centers.