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Biddy is a woman of some years: a GenX'er, Riot Grrrl, survivor, traveler, tattoo collector, senior pet owner, music lover, former public school embattled public school retiree and amatuer vegan chef. Biddy Sounds Off is a thinking woman's bildungsroman and pirate radio station some thirty years in the making: featuring episodic writings and eclectic musical selections.
Welcome to Biddy Sounds Off, a place for episodic writing and music I love. I am Biddy, a woman of some years, a survivor, a writer and traveler. Last year, I quit my job and packed up my 2 senior pets and drove the 3 of us to Mexico in my 0 seven CR V, a modest but good running car with all wheel drive, important in Colorado. And also if you're planning on driving through the mountain range of the Sierra Nevadas, as it turns out. I had planned an entirely different route over the several months that I dreamed of making it to Mexico using my finely honed teaching skills of organization, research, and the route I had planned went through the Laredo Columbia border crossing which many people had posted about online.
Biddy:The one that sold me was a gray haired Biddy herself crossing with 2 little dogs, and she made that trip annually. So it went into my notes. The notes ended up somewhere beneath my driver's seat almost as soon as we rolled out early in the AM because your pity isn't driving at night. Not in the US or anywhere else if I can avoid it. Not with these old eyes.
Biddy:We made it through Texas, which was huge progress for me on day 1. So I was excited to find the hotel I booked in advance, a motor in, more like, pet friendly comes with a lot of less than desirables, which means I'll usually end up paying more for less, which is such bullshit. There are so many of us responsible pet owners, you know. But, this first place was okay. However, it wasn't in El Paso, Texas, which meant that by day 2, I had already wandered off about 700 miles off course.
Biddy:I was excited to get into Mexico though and despite the frightening news footage I'd been hearing and seeing, there were no visible encampments, wailing migrants or gang members lying in wait for us. I had more than enough paperwork to get us through, pet vaccination records included. The process was simple, straightforward, and took maybe 10 minutes. By 8 or 9 am, we were in Juarez. I was inundated, flooded with memories of the time dad had brought us here.
Biddy:He remarried and it was a regular Brady Bunch episode with myself, my elder teenage sister, and Phyllis's 2 kids, Jay about 13, and C maybe 9 years old. I wouldn't get to know them, unfortunately. We were all travelling on summer vacation, pressed together in the back seat of a Datsun, legs in shorts, sticking to each other and the vinyl beneath us. No seatbelts, there weren't enough anyway. But there was plenty of cigarette smoke.
Biddy:Dad still smoked as much back then as mom did. So, half of us were pretty used to it. Phyllis kept rolling the window down to about an inch and 3 quarters, politely asking us if we were getting any of the air back there. But it was mostly just farts. Fortunately, I was an excellent car sleeper.
Biddy:Put it in 1st gear and I'm out, another escape I chased early on in life: unconsciousness. This was preferable to everyone, frankly, because when I was awake, I was invariably car sick, often violently so. Dad took us to the artisan markets. We toured the colorful aisles of beaded crafts and hand carved jewelry. There were marionettes that sprung to life when they noticed you and demure dolls painted like beautiful skeletons.
Biddy:Paintings and pottery, ornate metalwork from pounded copper bracelets and silver belt buckles to massive wall mirrors mirrors and even statues. The horses caught my eye, forever frozen in motion. I remember the clothing, velvet and silks. My sister was entering her Stevie Nicks era back then. Turquoise everywhere.
Biddy:The leather section featured fur too. I found the rabbit's feet and held bunches of them in my hands together, the way you would hold the hand of someone you love. The sounds, the textures, and of course the scent of the food, both sweet and savory. There were toys everywhere, woven from straw, carved from wood. There was lots of music and dad said we could choose one thing for ourselves.
Biddy:So he bought me a wooden music box with a happy skeleton who spun around on top strumming his tiny guitar when I wound the key.
Biddy:The first song coming from an extremely talented Denver band, the Mignanas, with their song from 2021, Don't Think Your Love Has Given Up. Their new release is called 3,000 and is available for preorder on their site, The Mignanas Band. After that was the incomparable Tau from Tau and the Get Down, Stay Down, that song Nobody Dies from their album called A Man Alive. Leaving off, I had just scored my 1st day of the dead memento without realizing what it signified or just how important that holiday would become for me. This time, however, I didn't stop at any markets.
Biddy:Traveling with pets is a romantic idea, but the fact is, Coissette dislikes road trips very much, and I hated knowing that I was making her suffer. Plus, I needed to get back on track with some kind of plan. I was driving right through the troubled state of Sinaloa. And the worst news was that the wifi had dropped, and I didn't have a map. For some reason, the gas station I stopped at didn't sell maps.
Biddy:I'd have to keep it pushing, and that meant low tech or no tech, but my guardian angels were up to the task, and all the road signs led us safely to Chihuahua. No problemo. There were a couple of toll crossings, but that close to the border, they still took US dollars. That changed rather quickly. Debit cards were out and it was even difficult to find ATMs.
Biddy:I quickly learned that Mexico is a cash economy, and switched things up, carrying enough cash to keep up with the toll crossings, as well the possibility I got pulled over. Of course, the Mexican highways are heavily policed with federales, and because Mexico takes security seriously, there will also be further layers of security at the civil level and at the business level as well. For lots of reasons, I feel Americans can easily become conditioned to be afraid of Mexico. Once I learned that these soldiers are there to protect the citizens and tourists, I felt better. Seeing large guns everywhere, and so close-up and personal, took some time to get used to as well.
Biddy:But the citizens are afraid of the Cartel, and many seem to appreciate this intimidating presence, this show of force. As an American, who is unused to guns, especially in everyday life, I was afraid of them. I am afraid of them. After nearly a year here, I am far less afraid of being shot than I was in the United States. Even though I am seeing far more weapons now in my daily life, the fear of being shot while going about my business is far less than it ever was in the U.
Biddy:S. Where I taught public school. It was a little more daunting finding a hotel on night 2, but we found a comfortable place in Delicias. Driving in the city now made it clear to me that the rules of the road were a bit different. The differences in protocol are not extreme, And now that I've got the hang of it, the guiding principle, seems to me, is that the drivers here are inclined to safely defer to whoever is showing more urgency.
Biddy:There is more of a spirit of communal safety on the road. There is more of a spirit of communal safety on the road. Road rage has been rare in my experience here, both witnessing it and experiencing it, although that did take time as well. That American exceptionalism idea makes us feel like we stand out, and that isn't actually all that helpful when there is a shared goal. In this example, getting somewhere safely.
Biddy:A lot of things take time in Mexico and you get used to waiting around for things just like everyone else. That feeling of rush or B rush has faded. It is an idea that seeps into our physicality, trying to rush through the day with tasks because you are busy with a lot of important things and accomplishments that prove you are someone of status. It brings tension with it into the body, and I feel that tension around my face and around my shoulders. And the pressure makes me fold in on myself, as if I want to make myself smaller, because I'm trying to hide from the fact that I either don't have any important things, or I don't want to be rushing through the world and rushing through my life that way anymore.
Biddy:It's a feeling of get out of the way or be steamrolled by that contraption, that system that keeps us all so very busy. Not too busy now, though, with my southern migration, done some research into beautiful Mazatlan early on when the dream of moving to Mexico first visited me in 2020. The more I researched, however, the more I learned of the very recent drug violence and civic upheaval related to the heavy presence of the Sinaloa Cartel. All of that featured heavily into the research I was doing, and so I ended up checking it off the list. Now, though, I already felt like I was late for the beach already and I was becoming more confident in my ability to take care of us.
Biddy:It would be a shame to miss it. We were so close to turn back now and it could be a learning opportunity. I am a very safe traveler. I don't venture out at night. And having spent the majority of my lifetime on the lookout for attackers, my observational skills were up to snuff.
Biddy:Hypervigilance is often ground 0 for sexual assault survivors, our baseline. Plus, I was relatively sure I could avoid falling into organized crime if I just stayed a night or 2 minding my own business. All I wanted anyway was a bed and a shower because by the time we rolled into Mazatlan, we were a little worse for wear. Driving over the Sierra Madres had been both a hysterical and mystical experience. Turns out, however, that my legacy of carsickness has continued through my lineage, through my son, my poor, precious Pekingese.
Biddy:Before throwing muses and their wonderful song Not Too Soon, you were treated to the vocal stylings of Toby, Bobo Biscuits, the Snarglepuff and Pekingese on my lap. After throwing muses, I played Pallet Royale's collaboration with Pussy Riot on the song deliberate. To return to the narrative, we'd been driving through the Mexican mountains. They were not only a surprise, they were a revelation. The views were mystical and the water vapor that hung over the valleys looked like a spell had been cast and hung there still.
Biddy:An enchanted mist at a distance sparkling gold in the sun's light against the blue green cliffs in the rising rain forest. Just above our heads, the swirling cosmos coalesce as the mist expands and contracts as if the universe is breathing. Gold and purple radiate through the blue green, the colors from the deepest part of the ocean, though we couldn't be further from the sea. Up close, there was an undercurrent of brutality in the landscape. Jagged drops almost straight down, just a few feet from where Toby and I pulled over to take a break.
Biddy:His tummy had been bothering him. He'd started spitting up bile and frothy saliva, and I'd spotted an open meadow. We sat in the grass together. Toby rides on my lap. He wears a safety harness, but this is the best way to keep the air conditioning on full blast right on him.
Biddy:Senior, smush faced, brachycephalic Pekingese dog. Overheating is something you need to look out for, especially in summer in Mexico. I kept an oxygen canister in the car until that whole kit was stolen out of my street parked car in Buserius. Toby has never needed oxygen, but I wanted to be prepared. Unfortunately, he wouldn't need it at all.
Biddy:The bumpy mountain ride had nauseated him, but on closer inspection he was breathing fine and hadn't gotten overheated. Soon he took some water. I noticed a house nearby right here on the edge of this cliff. I got Cosette to drink a little water too before she returned to her impression of a flat but very fluffy pancake beside her kennel. Inside of it, she screams and spits and tears and slashes at the fabric.
Biddy:So I quit that long ago. She is safe where she is, and so we continue down the mountain. Cossette relaxed once again in our hotel room, and the boy was good again at sea level. We had an unobstructed ocean view, washer dryer and a fairly steady wifi connection, good enough at least to research the area, download music, podcasts and map directions in advance. I wasn't going to need to learn that lesson twice.
Biddy:I'd been to Mexico as an adult before, vacationed in Puerto Vallarta twice, visited Cabo once, a midwinter escape from Colorado, but my mind lingered on the trip we'd made with dad that summer back in 1980s. Dad loved a road trip. We'd take a few more with Phyllis and her kids, and then a few more without them after that marriage ended in divorce. That night in Juarez, we'd gone into a supermarket when the power suddenly went out. A total blackout.
Biddy:Then, we were running. I can't remember why, but it seemed everyone fled. I thought I heard screaming. It couldn't have been me because all of my screams died internally. It started raining, but we made it to the car quickly, and when my sister pushed me into the back seat of that Datsun, I slid across the vinyl seat.
Biddy:By the time dad started up the engine, I would have already been on my way out, asleep, unconscious. To close out this episode, I'm going to play Street Trash by the Hunters. Thank you for listening. This has been Biddy Sounds Off.