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In this rich and layered shiur, Rav Dov Ber Cohen draws on the image of the Shabbat candle to illuminate the deepest structure of the neshama. The flame, he teaches, has two parts: the part that burns
The Rabbi Dov Ber Cohen Podcast explores Jewish mindfulness, emotional mastery, relationships, and real inner avodah.
In each shiur, Rabbi Dov Ber shares practical Torah wisdom for navigating anxiety, deepening connection, strengthening emunah, and living with greater presence and purpose.
Rooted in Chassidic depth yet grounded in everyday life, these teachings are experiential, honest, and transformative.
If you’re seeking clarity without pressure, growth without guilt, and spirituality that actually changes how you live - this podcast is for you.
So we're continuing in our Odyssey, our spiritual journey to enlightenment. We want to become enlightened people. And really an enlightened person is someone who sees life from a completely different perspective. I'm just looking at the world and myself and everyone from a completely fundamentally different perspective. And the perspective is love, love and light, love and light. I just look at you, I just love you, and I love you. Sir, what's your name? Mike. Mike, I love you. Thank you. All of humanity. It says at the beginning of the Torah, the Bible, that everyone is made in בצלם אלוקים, in the image of God. Everyone. But it means you have to look at the world through God's eyes. Are you looking at the world through God's eyes, or are you looking at the world through through your ego's eyes, your pain's? What world, what eyes are you using to see the world? So we want to be enlight enlightened. We just want to light up ourselves and light up the world around us and see the world from this place really of love and joy. Ahavah and simchah. Love and joy needs to be our foundational principle in our life. That doesn't mean we don't feel pain in life. Life can be very painful, but we also deal with our pain through the eyes of God, and we see our pain as and our challenges as a way to become a more resilient and kind person. Resilient and kind. Pain, the purpose of pain is growth, and the growth is I understand other people more. People often say things like, \"Hurt people hurt people.\" Hurt people hurt people. If I was hurt, then I'm going to hurt other people, I'm going to take my own trauma and put that on other people. But the truth is hurt people who then heal themselves, they don't hurt people. In fact, they heal people, they become great healers. So hurt people who have been healed, heal people. And that's what we want to be. We want to be those people, we want to be healers. I'm a healing, I'm healing myself, and I'm healing the world, and I'm just making the world a a nicer place to be in. Do you think your presence in the world makes the world a better place? And you can think about this: does your presence in a room make that room a more joyful, enlightened, happy, beautiful place to be when you walk into the room? Is everyone does everyone feel a bit uplifted, or are people like, \"Oh no, that guy is here, he's going to put me down, he's going to roast me, he's going to complain about something, I'm sure, he's going to\"? So you want to be the person who's walking in and uplifting the room with you. That doesn't mean you can't share your your sadness sometimes with people, that's okay, but not whining and complaining. So we want to be that person. We're bringing we're bringing the smiles to the world, and that's why spirituality is seen as light. Light. That's what we were speaking about yesterday, that what's the physical representation of spirituality is light. Light. I'm going to bring my light into the world, I'm going to shine light, because light shines everything up. And we're really we've been speaking about the fire of the Shabbat candles, Shabbat candles, and what does fire do? Fire was the only light that was in the world before electricity: the fire of the sun, and the fire of fires and candles. It brings light and warmth to the world. So you want to be a candle, you want to be a fire. You want to be a fire, you want to bring light and warmth to the world, which means first you have to light yourself up. You have to be lit. Are you are you lit? Let's get lit. I think in America people say that, \"Let's get lit, man!\" I don't know exactly what that means in American jargon, but in there's a very Oh, really? Okay. Okay. Well, I I'm telling you the real the that that is is the is the corruption of the truth. But let's get lit, we must get lit. We must light up our spiritual inner world, and we must light up everyone else's world without needing substances to help us do that. We we're going to tap into that, be'ezrat Hashem. So we're continuing reading this book. And we said: שאש מסמלת כח על גבולי, לכן היא סמל כוחות הקדושה, תורה, מצוות. So we said that fire and light represents spirituality, and therefore it represents the power of kedusha, which we said translated as holiness, but really it means bringing God consciousness into the physical world. kedusha means, in a way, separating in order to bring God in. That's what kedusha is. And Torah, Torah comes from the word or. In fact, Torah in Aramaic is called oraita, which is or, light. So the Torah is the light of our lives. Why? Because it shines shines up the way, it lights up the way for us. Because if we didn't have the Torah, how would we know what to do? I wouldn't know. Who I wouldn't have known to wear strings hanging out of my pants if I didn't have a Torah. And I wouldn't have been a bad boy, I would have just been walking around not wearing strings. And I wouldn't I would who would have known? I wouldn't have woken up one day and thought to myself, I really need to put strings hanging out of my pants. So without the Torah, I'm in darkness. I just don't know what's good for I wouldn't have known not to eat pig. How do I know not to eat pig? I don't know these things. So the Torah is lighting up the world for me, and it's lighting up my neshama. And everything the Torah tells me to do is lighting up my neshama. And everything the Torah tells me not to do is because it it covers over my neshama, my soul, my essence. So the Torah is the light of the world, and mitzvot are the light of the world. אבל עדיין יש להסביר את הקשר המיוחד שלה למצוות שבת. מדוע דווקא מצוות שבת מתכבדת בנרות? But now how does this It seems obvious to me, obviously. But the question is now, we've just been speaking a lot yesterday about how light and fire represent God and your soul and spirituality, but what's the kesher, what's the connection between that and Shabbat in particular? Shabbat, the the lights of Shabbat. What's the special connection? There's no For tefillin, I don't light candles before I put on tefillin. You know what, maybe we should. That'd be cool. I'm going to light candles and then put on tefillin. Or I'm going to light candles and then shake a lulav and etrog. I'm going to light We don't light candles for other mitzvot. You know, before I give tzedakah, I'll be like, hold on, can you just wait a second, I'm going to light candles now and before I give you tzedakah. You'd be like, hold on, this is getting a bit much. But for Shabbat and then from Shabbat for Yom Tov, for holy days, for festivals, we light candles. So there are several explanations. כל החפצים שבעולם מטבעם נמשכים כלפי מטה. Everything in the world in their nature goes down. You drop something, it falls on the floor. Everything goes down. Apples fall from the tree בגלל כוח המשיכה לכדור הארץ, because of gravity. We have something called gravity, and that means everything, water goes down, everything goes down in the world apart from one thing. האש שונה מכולם והיא עולה כלפי מעלה. Fire is the only thing in the world Actually, wind as well. We say this, but wind is also ruach, which represents spirituality. So wind itself can go down, across, and up, but fire only ever goes up. Fire is going up all the time. Fire is going against gravity. It's anti- Everyone's talking about anti-gravity. Fire is anti-gravity. I'm not being pulled down by this world. I'm not being pulled down by this world, all of my problems and my stuff, and and I'm so into the sport and the politics and the this People are so pulled down, very heavy. People are very heavy. Very sucked into this world and its stuff. So the neshama's like, no, I'm I'm going up! Mine's going up. Doesn't matter what you do. We said yesterday that you take a candle and you turn it upside down, the flame is still going up. Whatever you do, try and push fire down, you can't push fire down, which means you can't push your soul down. There's nothing you can do. Your soul never goes down. It's It might be covered up, you can't see it. You know what, you could pour enough earth on a fire to put it out. You can. So you could be so physical and all about money and food that you've you've mechabeh, you've put out the light of your soul, but even then, our sages say, no, you haven't. There's always a little spark. You can never ever put out the spark of your soul. You could cover it up so much that you can't see it. When you go camping, the coals are out. You done it, you finished, you've covered it, blanket, but in the morning, you can always get the fire started again. Blow on it, cook your porridge, you're okay. So you can't put out a soul, but you can cover it up so much. You can just cover it so much that you can't feel it anymore. You can also put water on it. You can put out a fire with water as well. Water represents pleasure. In the Kabbalistic system, we have these four powers: fire, earth, wind, and water. Water represents pleasure, but pleasure can come from a good place or a bad place. You can get pleasure from beating people up, and you can get So that's bad pleasure. So that can put out the fire of your soul. So the fire within you can be put out and and quenched and everything, but Judaism says even with water, all the water in the world can't put out the fire of of our love for Hashem, and Hashem's love for us, and my love for my children. Doesn't matter what you do, it's always there. So I've got to keep reconnecting to that neshama. It's always there, it's always going up. אש אינה נחה בפתילה, תמיד היא קופצת ומתנענעת כלפי מעלה. Even the fire itself, kind of said this yesterday, it doesn't just rest on the wick, it's jumping, and it's yearning, and it's going. It's like it's always trying to go somewhere, and up, up, up. I'm always trying to grow. We said that what it really means to be alive is to be growing. How do you know you're alive? If you stop growing, it means you're not alive anymore. And what does that mean? That means if you think, \"This is just who I am, I'm an angry person,\" then you're not alive. You have to be growing, like a tree always grows whilst it's alive. So growing so I'm growing spiritually, I'm growing mentally, I'm growing emotionally. I'm just a grow I'm a person who grows all the time. So that's what life is, and that's what the fire is showing us. It's always, \"I want to go up.\" In fact, fire is the energy of destruction. In order to be to have fire, it needs to be destroying something. There's no such thing as fire without destroying. So therefore, you can have bad fire. My fire is destroying you. I'm destroying My arrogance and my anger, which is rooted in the element of fire, is destroying other people. But the healthy version of that is I'm destroying my own negativity. I'm destroying my lower levels to come to higher levels. I'm getting rid of all that stuff that I no need within me, so that's healthy destruction. And that's where growth comes from. Growth comes from destroying what was before, breaking past what was coming before. So that's the healthy fire. That's what we're trying to tap into here. ומנסה כאילו להיפרד מהפתילה ולעלות מעלה. And it's as if the flame is trying to get away from the wick. It just wants to The Baal HaTanya speaks about this a lot. So, they say a neshama is like that. A neshama, in a way, just wants to go back to Hashem. \"I just want to go back to heaven. I don't like it down here. They're not You're not meant to be down here with all this war, and abuse, and physical cravings, and health issues, and finance.\" A neshama is like This is why the baby cries. When a baby born, the baby cries because it's the soul is like, \"What? Where am I? What has got to the Oh my goodness.\" And we all cheer cheer. The baby's born, we're all like, \"Yay!\" The baby's like, \"No! I can't believe I'm here.\" And the other end of life is the other way around. The other end of life, the soul leaves the body, so we all cry, but the soul's like, \"Yay! I got I'm out of there!\" But we said, no, the neshama doesn't like The soul doesn't like the world for the world, but it likes the world for spreading light. It likes the world because it can do its purpose in the world. When the soul is in heaven, it can't do so much. It can't help people so much. There's nothing to do. There's no yetzer hara. There's no corruption. There's nothing to do. So it's like, okay, it's nice. I'm experiencing this kind of bliss-type experience, but the soul is a fire, so it wants to help, and it wants to do mitzvot, and it wants to connect, and it wants Shabbat. You can't really keep Shabbat in shamayim. We keep Shabbat here. So the soul loves this world because it's in this world that it can grow and it can shine its light. \"Oh, this little light of mine, I'm going to let it shine, whoa.\" כי המקור והשורש שלה נמצא למעלה. Because the the essence, the source of the soul is from above. The soul comes from above, it doesn't come from down here. The body comes from below, that's why you bury the body. This is why we don't cremate. In Judaism there's no cremation, and in nature there's no cremation. In nature, the animal dies, and then it comes becomes part of the earth again. You come back into the earth, that's it. So we say your body came from physicality, and it has to return to physicality. That's where it is. And then the soul goes back up. Very Can I ask a question about cremation? Yes. How come it's very accepted in in in some countries to cremate your Jewish ancestors? It's because they don't know any better. The only reason a Jewish person would cremate themselves is they're a wonderful, beautiful, loving, amazing, sweet, amazing person. They're just not educated. Some people say, \"No, because I don't believe in the world to come and and the resurrection of the dead, therefore I we can cremate.\" But they don't We We have to understand cremation just culturally, by the way. Even if you don't believe in souls, and you don't believe in spirituality in the world to come, culturally cremation is a punishment for the Jew all throughout history. Most recently the Nazis, that's they there was a reason for that, not just because it was practical, but this is how we tease the Jews all throughout. Anti-Semites would burn Jews. That's how you So So for a Jewish person to do the minhag, the custom of of the anti-Semites just doesn't make sense culturally. And also there are many other things, for The soul leaves the body long before the body is cremated. Well, firstly, it takes a while. The soul leaves the body in stages. Yeah. Okay, good. Cremation itself is extremely painful for the soul, because Should we talk about cremation now? No, the soul I'll do it. I'll do it. A very, very separate thing. Cremation takes about 2 hours, something like that, and it's basically the body is just bubbling, and then it's a very disgusting It's a It's an abusive process. And what remains after cremation is it's not ashes, it's literally pulver- What they do is they take the bones that are left over and pulverize them. So it's pulverized and there's no DNA, you can't identify it as a person at all. And when you sign the cremation thing, you say, \"I understand that there's going to be some ashes from the guy before me.\" So we have to understand that the cremation hall smells like Auschwitz, but they have big fans and perfumes. But if they didn't, you're standing in Auschwitz now. You're doing that to this Jewish body. There's I've I've got a whole It's okay. It's a good question. It's a very good question. I've got a whole pamphlet on it. Many, many reasons why, even if you don't believe in religious Judaism, is it doesn't make sense to cremate cremate. Also it means the minions. And basically, I'll tell you just separate one. Now I think it's important. Let's say you end up with this pot of ash. In about like two generations, it's just going to be a weird thing you put in the attic. It's like, \"That was great-grandfather.\" No-one, no-one's going to go and visit it. You're not lying next to his wife. When you're buried as well, let's lie next to each other in the there's a whole There's very, very many reasons that we don't want to cremate. I don't know how we got onto cremation, but something. I'm sorry. No, that's okay. It's good It's good to ask these questions, very important. Can I ask? If it's about cremation? No, close. If the Jews are buried outside of Israel, like Australia, will their souls be resurrected? Yes. The reason Jews buried outside of Israel will be will merit to be buried in Israel is Moshe Rabbeinu. Moses agreed to be buried outside of Israel. Why? Because he said, \"In my merit, I'm going to bring along all those other Jews that were buried outside of Israel.\" I love Moshe. He could have got into Israel! It says, \"If you pray one more time, I'm going to let you into Israel.\" Moshe prayed 550 times, 515 times to get into Israel. He prayed, and then Hashem says, \"Look, you shouldn't go in, but if you want to, you're going to pray one more time, prayer is so powerful.\" And he said, \"Okay, I don't want to, because I'm going to מוותר, I'm going to nullify my desire to be in the Land of Israel so that I can give merit to every Jew who's buried outside the Land of Israel. I'm going to bring them all along in the end of days.\" I love Moshe. You've got to love Moshe. He knew he could go in? He knew that if he prayed one more time he would have got in? The Midrash says, if you'd pray one more time you're going in. No, but he knew that? Yeah. Hashem said to him, \"Moshe, if you pray one more time, you're going in.\" And he said, \"I'm cool.\" It's an amazing Midrash, because it's like, didn't you get the message after 515 times? And now suddenly when Hashem says you can do it, he says, \"Okay, I don't want to.\" It's an amazing Midrash. We should do a whole class about that Midrash. So we כי המקור והשורש שלה, so the neshama comes from Hi. Hi, this is where it comes from. The neshama comes from heaven, the body comes from earth. So we put the body back into earth so then it it goes back to where it came from in a natural, beautiful way, and the soul goes back. This is why we said the more you identify as a body in this world, the harder, a, getting old is, because your body gets worse and it's but the harder death is. The Gemara says, the Talmud says, that death is like pulling a thistle from a a sheep's wool. It's like because the once you're so identified with your body, then death is, \"I don't want to leave.\" But if you never identified as a body, you always identified as a soul and I'm just using my body to help people and do mitzvot, death is like taking a hair out of milk. It's just The soul just slips away now. It's just going into the next room. That's what We don't even believe in death. We believe you're just going into the next room. You're taking off your clothes. At the end of the day, you take off your clothes. I don't, I fall asleep on the kitchen table in my clothes, but it makes it easier to wake up in the morning and like, \"Hey, brilliant!\" But at the end of the day, you take off your clothes and you don't freak out when you take off your clothes, you're like, \"Oh no, I'm losing part of myself!\" Because you never identified as your clothes, although most people get their sense of self based on their clothes. But so too, death for someone who never identified as a body is I just taking off the clothes. Yeah. So that whole thistle thing in the wool, is because entangled. Yeah. to get it out is really difficult, but is because when about you said that there's stages of the soul leaves, so when someone dies, they're people think like we don't know what happens, but you are in your spiritual body, and you still see and hear and hear people. And so if your body is getting abused, you're actually witnessing your body get, and there's like a lingering effect, like souls will stay for like sometimes a month and visit people. We all have these experiences, but the soul does experience what happens to its body. There are certain halachot, for example, it's very good to be there for someone when their soul leaves their body, and to immediately light a candle above their head, and to open the windows. But one of the things that the sages say is you can't freak out at that point. You can't be like, \"Oh no!\" If you're going to do that, which is natural, you should leave the room because that's very distressing for the soul. It's like, what's going on? You need to be sitting there and saying Tehillim, saying Psalms, and just guiding them on the journey, guiding them on the journey. Baruch Hashem, I was there when my father alav hashalom was niftar, and I just felt so empowered actually to be able to do what Like, I'm here to help this soul move on. He did everything for me. And I say I I sat by his bed for six weeks waiting for that moment. And then from the the second his soul left, I stayed with the body. I went to the I was in the morgue on my own all night with him actually. I said the whole book of Tehillim, walking around the fridge thing. And then I didn't sleep I didn't sleep, and then we got to the funeral, and then I buried him, and I and I just felt I He gave me everything since I was born. This is like the one thing I could give him back. And it was very empowering to know how to handle that transition. It's a very important transition, to know that it it's it's all done right. Maybe we'll do whole classes about cremation and burials, it's a very beautiful, powerful thing. There is an interesting, you probably know the Book of Life and Death of the the Buddhist Yes. I can't remember who wrote Tibetan Life Book of Life and Death, it's called Bardos in their tradition. There are the four Bardos, the four moments of transition: waking to sleep, sleep to wake, being born, and dying. So, it says in that book, being born you can't take advantage of. But the other three, you can. You can go to sleep consciously, and you can wake up consciously, and you can die consciously. So, that's why we say Shema before we go to sleep, and we say Modeh Ani when we wake up, and so there are ways to take advantage of these transition points of the soul, because we say sleep is 1/60 of death, because the neshama, one level of the soul leaves the body. That's why we wash our hands in the morning. I mean the Buddhist book which is quite familiar in how accompanying people to their yeah liftoff and everything. Well, they davka cremate, though. Yeah. But they're saying the opposite, they're saying there's nothing permanent. But isn't it true that the לוז bone doesn't The לוז bone does get smashed, so even those that got cremated, they still get resurrected through the the לוז bone? Yeah, yeah. לוז. The לוז bone. Don't worry, Hashem's very wonderful and compassionate. If someone If you cremated your mother without knowing, she she'll be all right. Hashem If someone, yeah, it's okay, Hashem has compassion, and he'll work it out, and she'll be fine, and you'll be fine. And as long as you're a good person, everything is going to be okay. It wasn't me, not her, but her uncle Oh, fine. So. It's okay. Okay, it's fine. Especially cuz if you if we didn't know, we don't know, it's not our fault. Hashem's like not going to be like, \"No, you did it, and I'm not going to let you.\" Hashem's cool. Hashem's cool. I don't know how he's going to work it out, but he's going to work it out. So, don't Anyone Anyone watching this who's anyone got cremated, don't freak out right now, but just going forward, try not to do that. It's not best. יסוד האש הכללי תחת גלגל הירח. So, there's this spiritual force underneath the moon, וטבעה היא נמשכת כל הזמן למקורה ושורשה העליון. So, everything's nature is to be drawn towards its source. So, the body's nature is drawn towards the Earth. It is. We're drawn towards physicality, and we're on on the Earth, and we're drawn towards physical things, and the body is drawn towards animalistic desires, and the body is very drawn to these things, the physical world. The soul is drawn to where it's coming from. So, say if you say, \"I'm hungry,\" that should really mean, \"I want to do a mitzvah,\" because the neshama's hunger is for mitzvot and good things. If you say, \"I'm hungry,\" and that means, \"I want to eat,\" something, it means you're identifying as a body. You're feeling the body's hunger. So the body's hunger is always for physicality, food, or whatever it is. The body's hunger is for physicality, the soul's hunger is for spirituality. So we need to start tapping into the soul's hunger for spirituality. בזה אופן, בשבת היהודי מתעלה ומתקרב למקורו ושרשו העליון. And on Shabbat, even more so, a Jew is drawn to his source on high. It's actually called יומא דנשמתא, the day of the soul. So even anyone who's really tapped into Shabbat, really from midday on Friday already you're being drawn. Shabbat draws us in, it's like Shabbat, you can feel the energy. And if you're really sensitive, it's really from Wednesday morning. This morning, we said לכו נרננה. We said the beginning of the first prayer of Shabbat this morning in the song of the day, לכו נרננה, song of the day, because the sages teach us that the energy of Shabbat is coming into the world strong now from Wednesday, and we're being pulled. Shabbat is calling us and pulling us in, and we're being, our flame, our neshama is just like, it's already Shabbat, I just can't concentrate. I can't do what I need to do anymore. I think if I think really we should start working from Wednesday morning. Here we go. You should work, but, you know why we don't start working from Wednesday morning? Because the Torah says, \"For six days you shall work.\" And there's a big power to working for those six days as well. בעולם הבריאה עליון, is from this very high world, ממש כמו הנר מתעלה ומתרומם מעלה. Literally like the flame is going upwards, yearning upwards, the soul as it's coming closer and closer to Shabbat is just like, \"Okay, I'm going home.\" Why is that? Because we say Shabbat is מעין עולם הבא. Shabbat is מעין עולם הבא, which means it's a taste of the world to come. It's a taste. So your soul is like, \"Hold on, this is home. Shabbat is home.\" The soul when it came into the world was freaking out, it's like, \"I'm so far from home.\" But on Shabbat it's suddenly like, \"Ah, hold on, this tastes like home. Wow, I feel this. I get it.\" So, that's why the brit is after eight days, because you want that soul to go through at least one Shabbat before we have the brit, to feel that it's just like, I need I just, so the neshama the neshama like gets through the week, it's like, but I'm just trying to firmly gets through the week, and then ah wow, I'm home. I'm home! Shabbat, Shabbat is a taste of the world to come, it's a taste of heaven, it's heavenly, Shabbat is heavenly. לכן פתיחת השבת היא בעת הדלקת הנרות ועליית האש. So therefore, the entrance of Shabbat is davka with the lighting up of the fire. The woman of the house, who represents the divine presence in the world, the Shechinah, she says right, and now, and we're drawn from this, and then just for the, this is why I really think bli neder this week, I'm going to fill the cup up to burn for the whole of Shabbat. You've just got to work out how much oil you need to burn for 25 hours, plus the extra one or two hours you're adding on to Shabbat, because why would you take Shabbat out as soon as it comes out? So we're going to do that, so we have this fire burning all of Shabbat. שכן בד בבד עם עליית האש הפיזית, הבית היהודי מתעלה מעלה ומלא רוחניות. So just like the fire itself is going up, the energy in the home itself is is uplifted. You walk into a home on Shabbat, it feels like a completely different house that it was during the week. That's one reason we clean our house before Shabbat. The house is completely And that is a reason why I davka keep my house as messy as possible during the week. We keep our house as messy as possible during the week so we can feel the difference between the week and Shabbat. To represent the balagan of life, our house is a mess, then you walk into Shabbat, the house perfect, and white tablecloth, white tablecloth, just almost more than the candles themselves, it's the white tablecloth that makes the house Shabbat, that white tablecloth. And you're meant to put the white tablecloth on even when you're We're not going to be home for this Shabbat, but I'm definitely putting a white tablecloth on my table, my house isn't not having And you're meant to keep the tablecloth on all the time. It's not like you put the tablecloth on for the meal, and then between the meals you take the white tablecloth. Why? Just because it's the it's the Feng Shui, it's let's lift the whole atmosphere of this house. I'm walking into this Shechinah'dike Shabbat'dike thing, and that's why your clothes are different. I got a white kippah, and I got my Shabbat suit on, I've still got my Crocs because I need but whatever, after shul, but it's the whole energy, you're just stepping into a spiritual portal of Shechinah consciousness. That's why שבת חול המועד סוכות, and especially or the first if the first day of Sukkos is Shabbat is Friday night. Friday night, first Yom Tov Sukkos, Friday night, and it's the best kiddush. You got four brachot, you're making the בורא פרי הגפן, and the kiddush for that, and then the לישב בסוכה, and then the שהחיינו, and very, very difficult for me to stay in my body. Friday night Sukkos, first day Sukkos Friday night, I'm just like holding onto my tzitzit. This is what tzitzit are for, by the way, so you could just hold on to them so your soul doesn't leave your body. I'm just like, ah Baruch, haha, because the the sukkah itself is a Shechinah compression chamber. It's like the house outside the house. Baruch Hashem, how much time do we have? 11:37. Oh, okay, let's go, let's go. אדם משל לנר, a human being is compared to a ner, as we've said many times, נר השם נשמת אדם. Hashem's flame is the soul of you. Your soul is Hashem's flame. Your soul is Hashem lights up the world. He's like, tsh-tsh-tsh, Hashem's getting ready for Shabbat, and then he gets his guf, and then he lights it, and that's your neshama. And it's really his breath, it's the breath of Hashem. Hashem breathes your soul into you. That's why I think we shared many months ago, people say, you know, why are you lighting Shabbat candles? They're tiny little candles. There's an immense, immense, powerful, spiritual light pumping into creation right at this time, and you're going to light your little candles? So Rav Shlomo says an amazing thing. He says, imagine your kid comes home from gan, he's been in nursery school and he comes home, and he says, Abba, I drew you a picture, or Ima, I drew you a picture, and you're like, let me see, and it's a scribble. And you're like, wow, that is so special, and you also learned don't say what it is, don't say that's a beautiful horse, because he'll be like, it's not a horse, it's a so you just say, tell me about it. What is it? And then he looks up at you and he says, it's a picture of me and you, Abba. You love that little scribble, you put that on the fridge! You're not putting Picasso on the fridge. Who wants a Picasso on the fridge? Like, a little scribble and you love the little scribble, so that's what our Shabbat candles are to Hashem. It's a little scribble. It's like, here you go, but Hashem says, ach, I'm going to put that on my fridge! Hashem loves our candles! But we said even more than that, it's representing lighting up our souls, lighting up everything. So, ach, I don't know if we have time for this. Can I ask a quick question? Yes. So you talked frequently about the Shechinah and the energy coming in, but my experience is, yeah, of all of that, but I feel that it's more of me turning in to that divine spark that Hashem gives all of us, and I feel that when I turn into that when I'm lighting my candles, I'm not going out to meet the Shechinah, I'm going in. Is the spark of my soul the same as the Shechinah, or is it a different Yes, yes. We always say we always say you go in first, and then you shine outward. Tap into your inner light. So maybe at the time when you're lighting the candles, and to prove what you're saying, that's why women go like this first, you're bringing it in, you're coming in. And then you'll say, yes, at the time when you're sitting with your candles, you're going in, you're lighting yourself up, and then for the rest of your Shabbat, you're shining. Is there a difference between the divine spark that Hashem gave me and the Shechinah? Are we merging, or are we already one? I think the highest teaching around this is that we're meant to be the Shechinah. The Shechinah is Hashem's presence in this world, and we're meant to be that. So to the extent that we tap into our soul and shine it in the world, we become the Shechinah. Okay, let's try and do this, although we might need another session, or maybe we'll just cancel the next person who's meant to be speaking here, because this is very, very special. Okay, so here we go. A ner, a flame has two things: chomer, material, for example oil, and a wick, and things, oil, physical, physical stuff, ולהבת אש, and then the flame. So you've got the fuel and the flame, fuel and the flame. ככה אדם מורכב משני פרטים, you also have two things: גוף ונשמה, you have a body and a soul. That is the fire. You got the, you got the the chomer, the material, the wick and the and the oil, and you got the flame, so you got your body and your soul. Physical, spiritual. וכמו שבלהבת האש עצמה שני חלקים, then in the flame, you also have two parts of the flame: זה הבוערת בתוך הפתילה, the part of the flame that's actually on the wick, that's on the wick, וזה הבוערת מעל הפתילה. So then you got the stuff around it. You got the part of the fire that's actually touching the wick, and then the rest of the fire that's going beyond that. So we really usually say that that part of the fire touching the wick is called the nefesh. It's the lowest part of the it's what's connecting the soul to the body. How can you get a spiritual thing like the soul, which comes from the כסא הכבוד, which comes from Hashem's throne, and stick it in a body, which is just an animal, it's what is that? How can you do that? That's why after we go to the bathroom, we make a we say a berachah, and we say, רופא כל בשר ומפליא לעשות. You heal all flesh, and you do wonders. You do wonders. The body's wonderful. What is the wonder is putting a spiritual essence into a physical body. How did that's You can't do that. How do you do that? So the part that links it is called the nefesh, the enlivening force. כך, גם בנשמה עצמה, also with your soul itself, שני חלקים, there are two parts of your soul: בתוך הגוף ומעל הגוף. Part of your soul is actually resting in your body, and we really usually say that's called nefesh, but we'll see a little bit deeper. And then part of your soul is above the body, it's going beyond. Your neshama goes up to the כסא הכבוד. Your neshama is bigger than the universe. Your neshama is huge! Your body is a tiny, little thing. How much of your neshama is actually in your body? Very, very little, very little, nothing, it's just a tiny, little thing! That's why when anyone ever insults you or upsets you, take a deep breath and say, that's not them, that's just the little ant that they're in. That's just the little cockroach. It's not them, cuz they're not And like if anyone insults you, just look up, be like this: take a deep breath and see their soul, which is so perfect and pure and holy. By the way, if you're ever talking to me and I suddenly look above you, it means you're annoying me. Like, this isn't you, this is your little soul. So, this is he speaks about it a little bit more. למה, למה נחלקה נשמת האדם, נשארה מעל הג- חלק נשארה מעל הגוף, חלק מלובש בגוף? Why is it that some of the soul is kind of within the body, and some of the soul is above the body? כי הנשמה היא בדרגה רוחנית אלוקית גבוהה מאוד, cuz the neshama is on this unbelievable divine, spiritual level, which is huge! חלק אלוק ממעל ממש, is literally a a a finite expression of infinite consciousness. That's what the soul is. We don't even get what a soul is. Wow. חלק אלוק ממעל ממש, ואילו הגוף הוא בדרגה נמוכה מאוד. The body is actually on a very, very low level. It's just an animal. Now Judaism sanctifies the body, and respects the body, and we don't say it's just an animal, get rid of it and hurt it, and The opposite. We love the body. We nurture the body. We keep the body healthy, so that it can be used as a good vehicle for the soul. We want the body to be healthy. We have a mitzvah from the Torah to keep the body very, very healthy, just like you have to keep your car well-oiled. Because if you want your car to take you where you want to go, you got to make sure it has oil, and it has water, and you clean the seats, and you clean it. You got to look after your car, but you never identify as the car. So, your body, you have to look after your body. Very important. But it's it's a very, very low thing. It's gashmi. It's just this physical thing. עם צרכים ורצונות גשמיים ועכורים. And the body has all these just lowly physic- It's an animal, really, it it needs it needs to eat, and to sleep, and and alpha male, fight, power, the body is just basically a a mammal. That's why my name, Dov Ber, is like bear, bear. I'm like double mammal power! Ber Ber! I am the alpha male around here. ברור, therefore it's clear, שהגוף לא מסוגל להכיל בתוכו את עוצמת האלוקות האדירה שבנשמה. There's no way the body can contain the soul! What are you talking about? They're not even on the same level, you see. They can't do it. לכן, רק מקצת כוחות הנשמה שרויים בתוך הגוף. Just a little bit of the power of the soul is coming into the body. On the first level, it's just the nefesh, the enlivening soul that's keeping you alive. But animals have that as well. And then we got the ruach, which is really your psyche, it's your personality, it's your individual, your traits, and your hopes, and your dreams, and your tendencies, that's also within the body. And then a little bit of your neshama sometimes pops into your guf. Now we want to bring it in big time. As we said many times, our sages teach, for example, when you get angry, the neshama leaves the body completely. The nefesh and the ruach stays, but the neshama is gone. The neshama cannot be around there, so it leaves. Or when you're looking at something you're not meant to look at, the neshama leaves. You can never you can never mess up a neshama, because the neshama is getting out of there. So as soon as you're going to do get dirty, he's like, I'm not play There's mud, there's mud over here, I'm just going to avoid the mud. Which is difficult for me, cuz I love mud. I get I'm getting in the mud. So the neshama is gone. And but really, the rest that's above the body is really the neshama, and then the חיה and יחידה, which are higher levels of the soul, מקיפין אותו, they surround the body, but they never come into the physicality. They're just surround They're surrounding light. So now we understand that we've got these two parts of the flame, the flame that touches the wick directly and the flame that's beyond it, so that represents the nefesh and the ruach, and a little bit of the neshama sometimes, and then the actual yellow part, cuz the flame, that bit on the wick is usually a bit blue, we said, and the round bit, that represents the higher parts of your soul. So the פסוק, נר מצוה ותורה אור, we have a pasuk that says the flame is mitzvah, and the Torah is the light, is talking about these two things, נר ואור. We have נר, flame, אור, light. Is there an English word for nefesh? Soul. No, it's not Okay, I call it the enlivening soul. It's the You know, it's just chi, it's just the energy. I'd say even energy, the way I think of it is it's the electricity. If I've got a machine, and it's not plugged into the wall, then it's not So you plug it into the wall, the electricity just gives it life. So that's basically what the nefesh is, it's just the electricity of the body, the enlivening force of the body. So animals have a nefesh as well, because They don't have a neshama? The Animals don't have a neshama. Sorry, did you cremate your dog as well? We can talk about it. I have a horse that has a neshama, I thought. You know what, it's possible. It is possible. And and maybe they go to the horse neshama world. I think so. It could be. He's still young. So it should be many many more years in his body. In Israel. Okay, fine. So fine, so we have two parts of the flame, and two parts of the soul, two parts of everything. זה הצמודה לפתילה, the part that's actually resting on the on the wick, היא נקראת אש, that's called fire, והאור השורף, the the light that burns, בגלל שהיא מכלה ושורפת את השמן והפתילה, והופכת אותו לאנרגיה. So what does this part, what does the part that's touching the wick do? It eats up the oil and the wick, is burning away the oil and the wick. That's what it's doing, which really, and it turns it into energy. So you're going to see where we're going to go with this. This is what the nefesh is meant to do. The nefesh is meant to take all the physicality within us and turn it into energy, our animal physical desires, the nefesh is actually meant to be transformed. Like a horse, we always use the example of a horse, by the way. A horse, is a horse good for you or bad for you? When you're riding a horse, is it good for you or bad for you? Depends who's in control. If the horse is in control and it's crazy and it's bucking bronco going all over there, you're going to fall off and damage yourself. But once you train the horse, then you can go and you can ride through the mountains. So the same is true with the body. The body, left to its own devices, is very bad for you. It's chasing all these lowly stuff. It's not good for you, it's not good for your But once you train the body, and you're using the body to serve the soul, so the soul is now in control, but then the body becomes the best thing, a great thing. You want, as we said before, you want to have a healthy body. So this is called נר. That part is called נר. And we're going to see about mitzvot and Torah. Why are mitzvot called נר, and Torah called אור? Why are mitzvot called a flame, and Torah is called light? What's the difference? Why don't we say that mitzvot are called light, and Torah is called flame? So we're going to understand it now. And then the second part is הלהבה שמעל הפתילה נקראת אור המאיר, the piece of the flame that isn't actually literally touching the wick is called the light that enlightens. בגלל שעיקרו הפצת האור, the purpose of that is to spread light. The purpose of the part of the flame that is touching the wick is to burn up the physicality. and turn it into energy, and the purpose of the part that's above the wick is to spread the light. So now we're getting everything together here. שעיקרו זה זה קורא הפסוק אור, so that's called light. That's called fire or flame, that's called light. And והם כנגד שני חלקי הנשמה, those are the two parts of the soul, השרוי בגוף, the parts that's resting in your body, and the part that's going above your body. I just want to finish this quickly 'cause it's very geshmak. Very good. הלהבה שבפתילה היא כנגד הנשמה המלובשת בגוף ונפש הבהמית של אדם, the the part of the fire that is actually touching the wick and is burning the wick, that is obviously talking about the nefesh, the נפש הבהמית, the more animalistic soul, that part of you that is in your body. היא נקרא אור השורף, it's called the light that burns, כי היא שורפת את הבהמות והתגשמות הגוף, והופ הופכת אותו לאור וקדושה, because it's using the power of the body and turning it into holiness, turning it into, just like that blue part of the flame is turning the oil into energy, that part of your soul is turning your animalistic desires into holiness. As we said before, holiness doesn't mean to detach from physicality, doesn't mean to sit in a cave and not get married and not touch money and not eat. It means to do those things, but in a holy way, in a conscious way, to uplift those physical things to represent something spiritual. As it says, בירור וזיכוך הגוף והנפש הבהמית, so this is called clarifying and purifying the body. That's what we're doing. The soul is the the even the lowest part of the soul, the nefesh, is there to purify the body. We want to purify the body. והלהבה והלהבה שעל הפתילה, that bit that is on the פתילה, האור כנגד חלק הנשמה העליון שמעל הגוף שאינו מתלבש בגוף, and then the fire part that is above the wick, it represents obviously the neshama, the very high neshama that isn't in the גוף, and it's called שורש הנשמה עליונה, עצם ה, this is called the עצם, the essence of the neshama. So what's the purpose of that bit? As we said before, is to light up the world around us. מכאן קשר רוחני תוכני של שני חלקים להבת נרות השבת הקדושה של שבת יקרא בהם בשניים, so we have these two things. I'm going too fast, but I I I want to finish. אש השורפת ומכלה את השמן, the the part of the fire that is burning up the physicality and turning it into holiness, מפסיקה ומכלה את עסקי החול וחולין, so that part of the fire we're just relating it back to Shabbat now. So the first part is the first part when you light your Shabbat candles and you're tapping into this is I'm burning away all of the stuff from the week, מחלוקת, מריבות, טרדות, דאגות, גשמיות. So I'm coming into Shabbat, I still have my weekday stuff with me. I've still got that argument I had and that difficult email and the problems and my kids and So the first part is I'm now burning those things away, I'm burn and really transforming them into personal growth and how can I be a more loving husband and father and how can I use those things? So that's Shabbat is really the first part of it is is purifying everything from the week. I'm purifying, taking all my growth from the week, all my issues from the week, I'm purifying them. והלהבה מאירה, and the part of the candle that is above that, מאירה את אור קדושת השבת ומשרה שקט, and then the top of the candle is then bringing in the the light of Shabbat, the shalom, the shalom bayis, the שלווה והשלום בית, the peace, the connection. So we're doing two things. David HaMelech says, \"סור מרע ועשה טוב.\" Get away from negativity, get away from things that are taking you away from spirituality, and then tap into things that are taking you to spirituality. So these are these two parts of the flame. So when you light your Shabbat candles, you can think of this. You can think, \"I'm now purifying the week. I'm just purifying everything from the week in my body and in my heart and in my mind. I'm purifying the week.\" And then also then you can look to the higher part of your flame and think, \"And now I'm like Now I'm actually shining the light of Shabbat into my soul.\" And that's why we actually have two parts of Shabbat called שמור וזכור, to guard and to remember. So you have to guard the Shabbat, which is don't break it, don't do anything, don't mess it up, turn on your lights, use your phone, all these things that take you away from Shabbat's energy. Why can't you read the newspaper and your phone and this on Shabbat? 'Cause it it's taking away. So that Don't do that. So so uplift even your physicality on Shabbat, but then we have זכור את יום השבת, which means to make kiddush and to do holy things. So that's investing in the relationship and taking the relationship even higher. There is a lot more here, but that's good for now. We should all be zocheh to tap into our holy light and spread it in the world around us.