Now or Never: Long-Term Care Strategy with Kosta Yepifantsev

Join Kosta and his guest: Steve Gurney, Founder and CEO of Positive Aging Community,  Author, and Senior Living Advocate of over 30 years.

In this episode: What is Positive Aging Community? How does it help seniors and our communities overall? As an expert in senior living, what do you believe is the biggest misconception about this experience? What’s the hardest part of getting older from a social and communal perspective? What can we do to ease these hardships?
  
Find out more about Steve Gurney and Positive Aging Community:
https://www.retirementlivingsourcebook.com/

Find out more about Kosta Yepifantsev:
https://kostayepifantsev.com/

What is Now or Never: Long-Term Care Strategy with Kosta Yepifantsev?

Now or Never: Long-Term Care Strategy is a podcast for all those seeking answers and solutions in the long-term care space. Too often we don’t fully understand the necessity of care until it’s too late. This podcast is designed to create solutions, start conversations and bring awareness to the industry that will inevitably impact all Americans.

Steve Gurney: But I tell you one
thing that's pushing us in this

direction is the huge amount of
people that are out there that

can define themselves as solo
agers. This is we do a weekly

discussion in my community on a
variety of topics. Our most

popular topic is so what are we
reaching? There are so many

people that are out there who
either have outlived their

family, they they have been
divorced, they may be where they

were, where they were, their
former movie all over the world

and are taking full
responsibility for what their

their steps are in their care.

And for the soldiers building
that personal village is even

more important.

Caroline Moore: Welcome to Now
or Never Long-Term Care Strategy

making. themselves. with Kosta
Yepifantsev a podcast for all

those seeking answers and
solutions in the long term care

space. This podcast is designed
to create resources, start

conversations and bring
awareness to the industry that

will inevitably impact all
Americans. Here's your host

Kosta Yepifantsev.

Kosta Yepifantsev: Hey, y'all,
it's Kosta. Today, I'm here with

my guest, Steve Gurney, founder
and CEO of positive aging

community, author, and Senior
Living advocate of over 30

years. Now, before we get into
the episode, I want to talk

about your own personal journey
with care. Like so many of us,

you've come into this industry
through necessity, will you tell

us a bit more about how your
family's experience with

caregiving inspired your career?

Steve Gurney: Absolutely. Thanks
for having me. My journey began

when I was in college, my
grandfather needed care, he had

a stroke, he was paralyzed,
needed to go to a nursing home,

I saw firsthand what my family
had to go through to make that

challenging decision. And it
kind of surprised me that there

wasn't a guidebook that would
help people through that

difficult journey. And so fast
forward, I graduated from

college, didn't have the
greatest job in the world. And I

decided, hey, look, I'm gonna
put together a guide. And it'll

be a great something that shows
that I'm a self starter on my

resume, maybe get me into a
fancy grad school. And I started

what is called now the positive
aging Sourcebook back then it

was called the Guide to
Retirement Living. And much to

my surprise, folks really
embraced it. Because there

really wasn't a comprehensive
listing, you were basically, you

would be discharged from the
hospital, and the social worker

would tell you, here's where
you're gonna go versus being

able to see all the different
options. So I've been doing that

for about 33 years, I am based
here in the DC, Washington, DC,

metro area. But the print
publication covers the entire

Mid Atlantic from Philadelphia
to Northern Virginia. But our

articles and all the things that
we do are not location specific.

I did have an interesting path
where I ended up selling the

business to the Washington Post,
and I ran it under their

ownership for over 20 years. And
about 14 years ago, I had an

opportunity to buy the the
company back, and I'm running it

on my own again.

Kosta Yepifantsev: Can I Can I
ask what was it like the

feedback that you got,
especially early on when you

released your book? What was the
feedback like did it obviously

was received very well. But I'm
curious to hear what people had

to say about it. Well,

Steve Gurney: the number one, a
lot of professionals in the

field were like, I can't believe
I didn't come. Because

especially like the marketing
people, they had these they had

lists, they were compiling of
all the options so that they

wouldn't know where the other
communities were their

competitors for business
analysis, but no one had really

thought to sort of create a
consumer based directory. What

am I things was being what I and
it may have been a little bit.

So people embraced it. But I was
really young. I was in my early

20s. And I didn't have industry
knowledge. I was just learning

as I was going along. And one
interesting thing is now

nationwide, the term assisted
living was, you know, pretty

common. Use that pretty common.

Back then. 33 years ago, in
Maryland, DC and Virginia. They

were called on a board and care
homes and you know, retirement

homes and things like this, and
actually, like I have one of the

marketing things for sunrise
assisted living, which is their

senior living, which is one of
the largest companies is out

there. At the time. They only
had two locations, and they were

calling them sunrise retirement
homes. So but what was

interesting is I was looking at
all of this, and I had to create

a category with a label. And I
decided to create that section.

As like, you know, this assisted
living term that's being thrown

out there a little bit is a lot
easier to understand. And so I

just threw a dart at the
dartboard and I'm glad I threw

it at the lemming at the right,
Steve, did you coined the term

assisted living?

Oh, no, not at all.

Kosta Yepifantsev: Maybe
popularized using it, you made

it more mainstream?

Steve Gurney: I think, I think
one thing, I think, at least in

the markets that i, where i was
doing this book, is because we

were kind of lumping everybody
under this umbrella. It really

helped. Because at the time,
Virginia and Maryland, there was

sort of a legal name that they
were supposed to be using. And

by me sort of not worrying about
the geographic boundaries, they

can still use any name. And we
describe the different

categories in our article. So
anyways, interesting stuff. It's

been a really fun journey. And
let's

Kosta Yepifantsev: talk about
that fun journey. Because your

experience as a resident, and a
senior living community at 45,

is rather astonishing. You knew
you wanted to be an expert in

senior living, and what better
way to become an expert than to

learn firsthand, right? You. You
live temporarily in five

different senior communities.

What was that like? And what did
you learn?

Steve Gurney: It was probably
one of the most awesome

decisions and eye opening
experiences in my career. And

let me kind of back up a little
bit. So remember, I started this

at age 20. And I definitely was
a pioneer in sort of

categorizing and organizing all
of these complex eldercare

options. I had also visited over
500 communities, I interviewed

hundreds of people on their
transition from their home into

a community. And I was regarded
as this senior housing expert,

you know, so if, if some media
was doing an article, they call,

Hey, I heard you're a senior
housing expert, and to set the

other end. And at some point, in
my so, at 43, I was over 20

years experience in this field,
regarded as the senior housing

expert. And I was at UC and, and
I was in a client's, at a

community where they were asking
me my opinion on something. And

I said, you know, I started to
answer him. And I said, But you

know, the best way for me to
answer that would be to just

move in here and stay for a bit.

And I've never done that. And
that would give me a better

perspective. And they looked at
me kind of funny. They're like,

really? And I said, Yeah, you
know, it's sort of like, How can

I be an expert? It's kind of
like, saying that I work at a

restaurant, but I don't eat the
food there. Right. And so they

called me a couple of weeks
later, I moved in. The first one

was an assisted living community
that was in the suburbs. Okay,

I, I was not pretending to be
anybody other than my healthy 43

year old, okay. I actually had a
classmate that did this in a

nursing home where he was in a
wheelchair and taking

medications. And what I wanted
to do is say, convenes homes be

a home to a person, not an older
person or a person with a

disability. And I have to tell
you, these homes and I've done

it five times in a very
different communities. These are

the best neighborhoods I've ever
spent time in, okay. And the

main reason why is the, the the
caring that the neighbor, so,

the blind spot in in 33 years,
what I didn't see is how much

the other residents care for
each other. So especially if

you're in a big community, it's
not like There's an RN, that's

going to be there at every
quarter when you need help

picking something up off the
floor. It's the fellow

residents, and the sense of
camaraderie. And whenever I

would go back home to my family
in the suburbs, after one of

these adventures, I really felt
lonely because being part of

that community in close
proximity to people and knowing

that people care about you, was
a really good feeling.

Kosta Yepifantsev: And a lot of
times, when we talk to people,

that's always sort of the tenant
that comes out is you have to

have a network of people that
are supporting you, and that you

can also support them in the
journey. And especially if you

have that network, then you can
age in a much more. And I don't

want to say safer, it's just you
don't you don't fall into a lot

of the into the pitfalls that a
lot of people who are aging do,

because you have a network of
support.

Steve Gurney: I'm really, you're
hitting on one of my hot

buttons. And I have lately,
we've been calling this building

your personal village. So rpm
has been doing a study since the

beginning of time that says
that, you know, X amount of

people want to age in place.

Yeah, they want to age in place,
you know, and, and, and I get

it, okay. We are like the
memories of our home and the

sense of independence, I think
the most important thing about

aging in place is that you're
living in, in a neighborhood

that is not segregated. So
senior community, senior living

communities are the last legal
segregated housing that we have,

you can build something that
says young people can't live

here. And that's, that's one of
the reasons why folks want to

stay in their home and not age
in place, because they don't

want to move to an age
segregated housing option, no

matter how great it sounds,
okay. Now, the secret to aging

in place is not hiring 100
Different companies to help you,

you might need to hire 100
Different companies to make that

happen. But it's building that
personal village and having

conversations with that personal
village, on, you know, what are

my dreams? What are my ideas?

What are the things that I like
to do? And how can I give you

support? Talking about my
village? And how can you help me

if I need help. And if people
would invest more time and doing

that, the experience of aging in
place would be better. But also

what would be better is when
they do decide to make the move,

they can bring that personal
village over with them. And now

their personal village becomes
part of the senior living

community as well. And I feel
like we're moving in this

direction. But there's still a
lot that we could do. But I tell

you one thing that's pushing us
in this direction, is the huge

amount of people that are out
there that can define themselves

as solo agers. This is we do a
weekly discussion in my

community, on a variety of
topics. Our most popular topic

is solar, we reaching, there are
so many people that are out

there who either have outlived
their family, they may have been

divorced, they may be a widow or
whatever, or their favorite

movie all over the world. And
they are taking full

responsibility for what their
their steps are in their care.

And for the solar wagers
building, that personal village

is even more important.

Kosta Yepifantsev: What are some
other components of a positive

aging community? And how does it
help seniors and our communities

overall?

Steve Gurney: I think the
hardest thing is communication.

It's having discussions with
your loved ones about these

choices. It's it's being
involved. That is what I see is

the hardest thing for people to
do. And right. Let's let's talk

about one of the hardest things
that we can talk about talking

about that. Yeah, you know, and,
and, and that's one thing that I

found when I made these moves
into the senior communities that

the residents of these
communities have, it's almost

more of a beautiful dialogue
about end of life. That I think

for younger generations is a
little bit harder to talk about

and be but because they're
there, you know, just by default

out there in the community where
they're seeing their their

friends and their loved ones
pass away at probably a higher

rate than those of us who were
younger, it becomes a more

normal conversation. And when it
becomes a more normal

conversation, you can now share
with your loved ones and those

people around you what your
wishes are. And in that, that's,

that's one element there.

Another element that I would
bring up, and as you can tell,

Kosta Yepifantsev: this is
fascinating.

Steve Gurney: Yeah, the use of
technology, I think that we

have, we have a huge problem in
terms of getting enough people

to care for elders that need
assistance, okay, with the

shifts and then bounces in
supply and the demographics. And

then just people that want to do
that job and can do that job

well and are committed to it.

And technology like Alexa and
Google Home. Just that my watch

here is tracking a lot of my
health care status without me

knowing it, instead of having
the fallen and I couldn't get up

devices around our neck, we can
now have sensors that are

monitoring, if I fall or if
something happens, and, and I

don't even need to think about
it. These are some exciting

developments that can save
people money by utilizing

technology, meaning they don't
need as much hate paid care,

personal care that they need.

Yeah. But it can also
communicate with our loved ones

and our healthcare providers a
little bit better. Some exciting

things out there. When when
people asked me to is a lot of

times people are asking me,
they'll say, Hey, what is the

best technology out there for
older adults. And I don't think

there's anything best because
we're all unique. But one of the

elements of what are the
elements that I like, is don't

go grandparent, and what gogo
grandparent is, is, if you're

not skilled at using one of
these things, it can be very

difficult to get an Uber or Lyft
ride, go go grandparent and

enable somebody with a rotary
dial phone to get an Uber or

Lyft. And they're using
technology, so that we don't

need to necessarily use
technology, similar to the way

that the Amazon Alexa works. I
don't need to master a bunch of

apps, I just, you know,

Kosta Yepifantsev: say Alexa,
I'm sure it probably popped up.

Steve Gurney: The good thing is,
well, I got Google Home in this

room. So that's good.

Kosta Yepifantsev: It makes a
lot of sense. And you know, I'm

gonna thread this needle and
kind of bring it all full

circle. So, aging in place, as
even though everybody wants to

do it, it does have a lot of
unfortunate social isolations.

And society, you know, has
always, recently, especially in

the last, like 30 years has has
somewhat been trending in that

direction, you know, people kind
of don't mind that they're by

themselves, right? And even
though we're always talking

about the necessity for
community, so it reinforces

aging in place, in my opinion,
reinforces this social

isolation. And if you don't
build a circle of support, or as

you describe kind of the, the
network, right, then you will,

you will fall into that trap.

And I think that at some point,
you can get so far down the

rabbit hole of being by yourself
that it's hard to get out of it.

And I love I love the fact that
they're that they're creating

these retirement communities.

You know, I grew up in Atlanta.

And every time I go to visit my
parents, there are 50 plus

communities popping up
everywhere. And I'll tell you,

what's interesting about the
technological component is, I

think, even more so than the
Aging in Place aspect. I believe

that if people aren't accessing
these retirement communities and

compounding technology and aging
in place, I think it's going to

it's going to exacerbate the
social isolation because people

typically have most of their
interaction with human

caregivers, statistically, and
so the fact that people are

coming around to the idea that
living in a community that's 50

plots, that's a senior
community, and they are

embracing it is going to not
just solve some of our

significant issues when it comes
to care, specifically the supply

and demand issues. But I think
it's Going to give, it's going

to finally de stigmatize what
these communities are meant to

do. And it's and I think it'll
help people in the long run live

longer and happier lives. Not to
sound cliche, but it's true.

Steve Gurney: Oh, no. And, and
one little tip that's worked

with some of the members of our
communities is that there's a

lot of folks that are out there,
and they'll, they'll get our

guide, or they'll come into a
discussion and they're like,

Okay, I've toured all these
places, I, and, no, I'm not

ready for any of them yet, but I
do want a more carefree

lifestyle. And one solution that
has worked really well, is what

I've sort of coined the term
smart lifestyle community. These

are generally apartments and I
said, apartments, because an

apartment is something that you
can rent and see how it works,

okay, versus a condo, it's a
transaction, and you're stuck

with the condo fees, and this
that the other. But I always

recommend folks is utilize the
website Walkscore. Use the AARP

livability index, look into
apartments. And the most

important thing to be close to
is the grocery store, you don't

need to be close to hospitals,
because hopefully, you're not

going to have to go to a
hospital, but a grocery store in

something and the beauty is here
in the DC metro market. And I

know a lot of larger markets,
we're getting these sort of

urban suburban cities. And a lot
of times, they're putting a

Harris Teeter or grocery store,
on the bottom level of an

apartment building, what a great
place to live. By by renting,

you can experiment with
downsizing, see if you like that

lifestyle. And a lot of times,
there's a lot of empty nesters

in these urban suburban
apartment buildings. And then

you know, if you if you like it
great if you don't move back to

your home, if you feel like you
need more care in the health

care safety net, then maybe you
can move to a life plan

community from there. But that's
one tip to certainly the stigma

really bothers you. That's one
way to get around it.

Kosta Yepifantsev: Good point.

Positive aging community isn't
just a company name for you.

It's a philosophy. Would you
mind sharing how this philosophy

impacts the approach of your
organization? And how it could

impact our listeners?

Steve Gurney: Yeah, wow, great
question. And I. So one of the

things that the the term
positive aging, and here, again,

I didn't sort of coined this
term or anything like that, but

one term that I did coin was pro
aging. And you can get to a

website at pro aging.com. And
but I coined the term pro aging

for professionals in the field
of aging. But But I then

realized it's like, wow, this
also has another point to it,

which is positive aging, and
this I like that term pro aging,

positive aging, because in
general, in our culture, ageism

and the stigma of growing old,
and the the things that are the

beautiful wrinkles and gray hair
that we develop, we don't work

with them that way. And and so
if I do have a philosophy, it's

to look at this chapter of our
lives as not one of decline in

depression. But what if
opportunity and exploration and

wisdom and the fact that you
don't have maybe some of those

biases that you had when you
were younger? The it's it's not

easy though, it because if
you've got healthcare changes,

if you have loss in grief,
reinventing yourself and finding

purpose in life can be
challenging, but one of the

benefits of being an elder is is
that you don't you can't live on

this planet for 40 5060 years
without solving a lot of

problems and overcoming a lot of
challenges. And it's just you

know, looking creatively and
positively sorry about that.

And, and really embracing this,
this chapter in our lives.

Kosta Yepifantsev: As an expert
in senior living. What do you

believe is the biggest
misconception about This

experience,

Steve Gurney: that it's any
different than any sort of

chapter in our lives that we
have gone through before. So, I

mean, and that's one of the
things, one of the things, when

I'm talking to people about this
transition, nobody wants to move

to a senior community. Now, when
they move there, I've

interviewed hundreds of people
that want it. And so when I work

with families and individuals, I
say, look, you're not looking at

an old folks home, let's pretend
that you're going to find the

next college you're going to.

And let's sort of compare these
two things. A college kid

walking onto a campus, he's not
thinking about this being

decline, he's thinking about
this as being an opportunity,

positive experience. And that's
what this chapter can be to.

Also a college kid, when he
walks on that campus, he doesn't

care about the square footage of
his dorm room, it's the other

students on the campus, right.

And that's what we should be
doing too is that the new

people, I'm going to meet the
new experiences, and it would be

the case of an elder going to a
community or aging in place and

getting out there and joining a
new club. They have life

experience that they can really
share. Your typical 18 year old

doesn't have any life
experience, he or she is trying

to gain that. Right, your
typical senior living community

is just you could staff a small
college with the residents that

are that are in any of these
communities.

Kosta Yepifantsev: I mean, why
do you think that we have

experience experience, the
stigma that we're describing?

And also secondary to that? Is
it improving? Meaning are people

starting to shed that stigma?

Steve Gurney: It is improving, I
think one of the reasons that we

have the stigma is that, let's
say that your pursuits in life

are primary, primarily athletic.

And as you grow older, it has
nothing to do with you growing

older, by the way, I mean,
there's people who get injured,

and and blow out a knee when
they're in their 20s. But as we

grow older, many of us it's
like, oh, I can't swing golf

club, like I used to swing the
tennis racket, ride my bike,

what have you. And so it can
oftentimes be looked at is Oh,

because I'm growing older, I
have to give up these things.

Okay, now, that, again, this
happens at every stage in our

life. So what are some things
that we can do to make this

better? One of the things I like
to spotlight is how it's

perfectly acceptable to go to a
birthday party for somebody over

a certain age, and give them
this horrible birthday card with

all this black humor, you know,
with the Grim Reaper, or them in

a rocking chair, that their life
is over and this that the other,

and that's acceptable. In fact,
you hand that card to somebody

and they'll laugh right along
with you. And I think Little

things like that, if we start
moving the needle, to, if you

get a card like that, use it as
a opportunity to have a

dialogue, okay, about what
growing older can be and what it

should be. But number two, just
stop giving cards like that, you

know, there's so many positive
cards that are out there, again,

going back to the college age
kid, look at the cards for a

high school graduation, and then
look at the cards for

retirement. And this one over
here is for black humor. There's

no black humor. This is, you
know, a new chapter in life,

this is exactly the same, they
should be exactly the same. In

fact, I tell people, when you go
to a retirement party, give them

a graduation card, because
retirement is is the most

exciting graduation in our life.

We're just moving to another
chapter. I know I've been

Kosta Yepifantsev: That was
perfect. I think essentially

what you're saying and this is
something that I that I'm always

fascinated with is how we've
socially engineered our society

to, to think in the capacity
that you're describing. And we

talked to a lot of people about
ageism, and I'll be honest, I

haven't really taken it to heart
Intel, we started the show and

started to really understand the
impacts that it has within the

senior community. And then you
have the personal experiences

like for example, my in laws are
well into their late 70s. I have

some people that I work with who
are you know, 95 105 and I

talked to my in laws and they
seem somewhat concerned with

their age, whereas the people
who are in their 95 and 105 ages

they're talking about hey, You
know, next year, I'm going to

move into a lot to a bigger
place, or I'm going to be closer

to not the senior citizen
center, I'm going to be close,

I'm going to be closer to, you
know, the, the target that's

down the road, because I love
going there. And they're nine. I

mean, one of the guy that comes
to mind, he's 102 years old, you

know, and so, and I can see the
differences and one listens to

the directions that, you know,
society gives them about how

they should feel that will at
this age, and how they should,

you know, you can't run anymore.

So you might as well just pack
it all in, don't go to the gym,

you know, don't use the
elliptical, don't you don't go

swimming, and do water aerobics,
just go and pack it in, you're

done. You know, you don't get
hurt, you know, God forbid that

you fall and hurt yourself. This
other guy's like, um, do

whatever I want, you know, I'm
gonna just keep going like I've

been alive long enough. So I can
listen to my body. So I totally

understand what you're saying.

Taking a look back, you founded
Retirement Living Sourcebook in

1990, over the past 30 years
working in senior living, what's

changed the most?

Steve Gurney: I think there's
more choices out there. That

back 30 years ago, the category
of assisted living really didn't

exist. And that's one of the
reasons why a lot of us have

these horrible stigmas of
nursing homes, because

basically, the people that are
now in assisted living, were

there in the skilled nursing
center. And that that was tough,

you know, it's tough to see mom
and dad who just need help with

one or two activities of daily
living with somebody who is

totally bedridden. And so the
the amount of choices that are

out there is increased. One of
the challenges that we face is

addressing the needs of what
they are referring to as the

Forgotten middle. It's this
group, and there's more choices

coming out there. But it's this
group, you know, if you're

impoverished, we've got
Medicaid, we got the PACE

program, we got things like
that, if you are wealthy, you've

got plenty of opportunities that
are out there. But it's this

group in the middle that I've
always referred to as the cop

between the cracks and ties, the
middle takes more creativity

there. And we need, we need more
resources for that group. There

are more resources than there
were 30 years ago. But there's

also more people needing this
stuff. Than then there's there.

And it seems like as you're
talking about, like, you know,

Atlanta, whatever in this
market, too, is that there's a

lot of new communities being
built, but they're primarily

being built for folks with
assets. And

Kosta Yepifantsev: so I mean,
what do you suggest is some of

the solutions that we can take

Steve Gurney: the early
solution, and I mean, is what we

were talking about is building
your personal village. Because

if you can cultivate a personal
village, and it doesn't

necessarily need to be friends
and family, it can be like in in

some markets, there's Shepherd
centers where there's volunteers

that help out, it could be your
church group, it could be, but

if you can cultivate a village
of unpaid support, then it

stretches your dollar longer. So
somebody who might need homecare

for five days a week with them
could utilize technology and

their network to provide care
for three of those five days.

Now, they're only paying for a
caregiver for two days. And that

could that could stretch your
money for many years, you know,

so that's the only solution I
can come up with, you know, you

can't build communities fast
enough. I mean, and what are you

building 100? Apartment?

affordable community? I mean,
you probably need 500 Well,

Kosta Yepifantsev: you know, and
I think people need to really

take into consideration what
what the word affordable

actually means when it comes to
people that are retiring. You

know, I think if you look at the
statistics, 60% of Americans

that are retiring are retiring
with just basic social security.

So there's in the other, you
know, there's a batter, that 30%

that are retiring with about an
average of $250,000 in savings

and then obviously you have the
10% Those 60% are drawing around

1200 to $1,800, you know, a
month that's not a lot of money.

And you know, when you're a
builder and you're looking to

extrapolate as much bang for
your buck, so to speak, you

know, I think that it's going to
be necessary, especially as we

progress into more of an aging
population for the federal

government to try and consider
subsidizing some of these

projects. Because, you know, not
just having the conversation

today, which has been
exhilarating, and also has made

me really consider how important
these retirement communities

are. But we need to accelerate
that. I think you and I are both

on the same page, when we say
like, we don't have enough

housing, and we need more, we
need it to be affordable. So and

we need it to be for the 50
Plus, so that all those people

that are millennials and Gen Z,
who are complaining about not

being able to buy a house have
access to buying a house, you

know, so killing, killing two
birds with one stone, so to

speak, you know, I want to talk
about your experience, what's

the hardest part of getting
older from a social and communal

perspective? And what can we do
to ease these hardships?

Steve Gurney: You know, I know I
sound like a broken record. No,

no, please. Yeah. But
communicating with your loved

ones around you in advance, it
solves so many problems and

break. So it's, I know, it's
hard. But most of the calls that

I get on a weekly basis are a
loved one who is flying into

town, because mom foul, and they
don't know anything about Brian,

they don't know what she wanted
this, that the other, and then

they might look at the
situation, you know, coming in

for the weekend. And it's like,
Mom, we gotta get you to

assisted living. No way, I'm not
going to one of those places.

And it had they had some
conversations, some players in

advance, and that doesn't need
to be this, this heart, you

know, eight hour conference
call, it's just having

conversations. And a lot of
times, the best way to have a

conversation is saying, if
there's somebody in your life,

that may or may have dementia,
or cancer or a mobility issue,

it's sort of like, hey, what
would you want us to do? Or what

would you want to do? If that if
you were in the situation? Now,

if somebody says, and they will
say this, oh, I'm healthy,

that's not going to happen to
me, you know, it's sort of like,

look, this happens to people
that run marathons. And I'm just

asking you, let's just have a
little conversation here.

Because I've been thinking about
this, like, the only thing is

not when you're talking to a
parent, it's not sort of putting

it in, sort of, like, the and
this is another problem is is is

that if you start talking to an
elder as though they're like

somebody different than you talk
about it as yourself, you can be

in your 30s and 40s. And think
about what would happen if I

developed dementia? Where do I
want to be cared for in my home?

Or somewhere else? So

Kosta Yepifantsev: and even
understanding the process of

like, who is the who's the PCP,
you know, or who is your

Medicare with, you know, and
especially, you know, you

probably know this with with
dealing, being in this industry

for so long. There, the majority
of Americans don't understand

how Medicare works. You know,
they don't understand what

Medicare Advantage is they don't
understand what a supplemental

plan is. They don't understand
how the how the structure of the

system works. And so I think
just at least just asking, like,

hey, you know, what's your
doctor's name? Or, you know,

what insurance? Do you have
simple questions like that, so

that at least you have your
very, very, you're at least

somewhat prepared in the very
most minut amount, but you're at

least prepared to, to help when,
when the time comes. So we

always like to end the show with
a call to action. Positive aging

community offers a wealth of
resources on senior living, how

can we use digital tools and
online communities to create

more positive outcomes for
people of all ages?

Steve Gurney: I would say,
folks, visit our website, pro

imaging.com. And we have these
weekly discussions on every

topic under the sun. ageism
solver with aging, choosing and

paying for a senior community
aging in place, and you're not

being sold to this is basically
just open discussions. You can

ask questions, and and I am just
the pandemic brought this on to

our business and I'm thrilled
because for me, it's like a

support group that I get to wake
up to and look for or to every

day that we have one of these
discussions and I just say to

your listeners, you know, feel
free to join us. Because I feel

like you know, whether it be
jumping in on a positive aging

community discussions, or
joining a support group, or just

inviting your friends over and
there's this concept death over

dinner, check out that book
where you can host a dinner

party and the conversation is
about that. There's so many

creative ways that you can build
your personal village or connect

to another community like ours,
to just help me this chapter,

the most wonderful and set an
example for the generations that

follow that man, this is
something to look forward to an

adventure as every day that
we're walking this planet should

be.

Caroline Moore: Thank you for
joining us on this episode of

Now or Never Long-Term Care
Strategy with Kosta

Yepifantsev.If you enjoyed
listening and you wanna hear

more make sure you subscribe on
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Long-Term Care Strategy is a
Kosta Yepifantsev

production.Today’s episode was
written and produced by Morgan

Franklin. Want to find out more
about Kosta? Visit us at

kostayepifantsev.com