Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
"Welcome to 'Parent Like An Athlete,' your ultimate guide to parenting with audacity, tenacity, and finesse. Hosted by the dynamic duo, Otis Grigsby, a former NFL warrior turned attorney, and his British wife, Gemma Grigsby, a successful healthtech marketing agency owner. Our mission is to navigate the parenting field with the same relentless drive as an athlete striving to improve by one percent each day. This isn't about winning or losing; it's about mastering consistency, transforming routine into an art form, and making everyday parenting an exciting journey. Are you ready to redefine your parenting playbook? Tune in and join our vibrant community as we tackle today's parenting challenges head-on!"
00:00:00:00 - 00:00:36:10
Unknown
everyone. This is Parents Like an Athlete. Episode two. You're here with me, Otis, and my co-host, Gemma. I thought you're going to say beautiful wife. Yes, She's my beautiful wife and co-host. And, yeah, you know, what we're doing here is reacting to Reddit stories on parenting and hopefully providing some insightful thoughts, something that's going to help you guys, maybe not necessarily parent to the best of your ability, but maybe give you some ideas.
00:00:36:11 - 00:00:50:08
Unknown
Get your your juices flowing and hopefully just have some fun. Yeah. At the very least, maybe we'll give you a laugh. We're starting with fun, and if we're if we're helpful, then then that's Obama.
00:00:50:08 - 00:01:14:22
Unknown
so today we have three Reddit stories that we are going to read for you and react to. And the first one is any of you parents take solo time off. The second one is when did you stop hating your dog? Post partum or post pregnancy? I'm not sure what puppy means. I guess it. Oh, you know, I guess it could mean either.
00:01:15:01 - 00:01:40:23
Unknown
It could be Ben's pregnancy. And then third, my wife doesn't let me comfort our baby, are we? Yeah. These all sound interesting. We'll see how interesting they are. And, yeah, we're going to jump in right now with the first one. Gemma, I'm going to let you read this. Okay. She doesn't have glasses on, so. Okay, I got it.
00:01:40:23 - 00:02:03:18
Unknown
I got it. Okay. Any of you parents take solo time off? My wife's offering to take the kid out for a couple of days, and I can take two days to myself. I'd book a hotel and just have time for myself. Anyone do this? I feel so guilty doing this, But at the same time, I've been so burnt out and my wife's been extremely supportive and just wants me to get some time for myself to reset.
00:02:03:20 - 00:02:11:08
Unknown
Has anyone done this? What did you do and how did you feel?
00:02:11:09 - 00:02:46:23
Unknown
All right. You started off. Yeah. I mean, I think that is super nice of his wife to suggest that. And if she is suggesting it and is genuinely okay with it, then I don't see anything wrong with it. I think it's, you know, probably healthy. If a if a parent is burn out for them to take a break, to step away for a little bit, to reset, to recharge, they can come back and give their, you know, full selves to their family and Yeah.
00:02:46:23 - 00:03:10:11
Unknown
And have that reset. I think that's I think that's really great. And he should definitely take her up on that. But I think that it also has to be reciprocated. Like if he is if she's going to do that for him, you know, maybe he can do that for her or maybe do something else for her that, you know, would would give her that that mental health break as well.
00:03:10:11 - 00:03:37:20
Unknown
That time to focus on herself. Yeah. So, yeah, the question I mean, any of you parents take solo time off. I feel like every parent takes I mean, you know, I shouldn't say every I mean, I'm sure some Whoa, hey, bathroom breaks. And so I guess some parents aren't able to have that that privacy time alone with their kids.
00:03:37:20 - 00:04:05:08
Unknown
But no, I think that, you know, a lot of people most likely find some type of solo time off. I don't know really what time off means in the concept of being a parent. I mean, I'll say that, you know, Friday nights for me are nights where I get to decide how I want to spend my time, but the baby's sleep at that point.
00:04:05:09 - 00:04:30:09
Unknown
Now, I just got back from San Francisco for a work trip and it was it was it was weird. I mean, it was like, I'm not helping put our child to bed. I'm not around and I've got this, like, time to myself. And I went to go see a movie and it was pretty Doe like. It was great.
00:04:30:09 - 00:04:55:16
Unknown
It saw Spiderman across the Spider-verse. Highly recommend. And and you know, I felt if I felt like this is this is pretty cool. So I mean for us I think what we do is you know say maybe like on a Friday you might go to Soho House to the pool with some friends or maybe Saturday I might say, Hey, I want to go see this movie.
00:04:55:18 - 00:05:20:05
Unknown
And maybe it's a scary movie that she wouldn't want to watch anyway. So then I'll go check out a movie on Saturday afternoon. And it's a little bit easier because it's not like actual work that needs to be done. So, you know, it's just spending time with our son and you know, it's not nice. We both like to spend time with him on the weekends when we when we're free from work.
00:05:20:05 - 00:05:49:13
Unknown
But, you know, we're we're not it's not necessary that we're both there. So I think in that regard, we'll take some time off a couple of days, though it sounds like a lot like that for this to be a regular kind of deal. Yeah. And I think if you're practicing, you know, having regularly, like, you know, you got a few hours here, I got a few hours here, you probably don't need a couple of days off.
00:05:49:13 - 00:06:21:20
Unknown
You know, unless it's like something like, you know, you we're going to go to this conference in San Francisco. And I also think that that I think as a as a one off, it actually has it can be really beneficial. I mean, I think for me, I was probably a little bit nervous about you going, but I really wanted you to go at the same time, Like, I really wanted you to feel like you could go and leave and do something that was going to fulfill you.
00:06:21:21 - 00:06:47:07
Unknown
You know, I was a little nervous. I was like, Oh, gosh, like, what if he has a meltdown? And I have to tell not me, the baby. Yeah. So see, I know you're but it was actually really great, like it was actually, it gave me a lot of confidence and it was really great spending that time with him.
00:06:47:07 - 00:07:07:10
Unknown
But, you know, I was also very grateful when you came back. Yeah, because I was exhausted. Sure, Sure. Yeah. I'm just going to jump into these comments real quick. So I see I have taken entire vacations by myself without my kids while they stayed with their dad and then someone else wrote, Wow, where did you go? How was that?
00:07:07:10 - 00:07:34:01
Unknown
Like, That's okay. Sure. I've actually seen this throughout some of the other Reddit posts where parents will go on solo vacations. That's a little weird. That's yeah, that's a little weird. I don't know how I'd feel about that if you were like, I'm going on a week's vacation. Like, Yeah, yeah, that's that's super weird. But people are people do that.
00:07:34:01 - 00:07:52:23
Unknown
So if you're one of those weirdos doing it, hey, go for it. If it works for you, who are we to judge? I mean, we are judging, but, like, so does everyone else. So we're just doing it publicly At the end of the day. You do. You do you boo boo. Um, okay. So that was a good start, right?
00:07:53:01 - 00:08:22:03
Unknown
Yeah. So in conclusion, I think solo time is good, but I think you can do it little and often, so you don't, I think like, yeah, if you need like a week off from your family, like that's maybe a little alarming but yeah. And then I guess for me to conclude it, I would say I want to know how old these people's kids are or kid is it?
00:08:22:05 - 00:09:10:21
Unknown
I get the impression that it's a little early for this guy to be burnout. And so the questions that I have around him being burnt out are like, Well, why are you burnt out? Exactly? I mean, I feel like I need more detail just because there are I think there are aspects of parenting that can definitely, like get you tired, exhausted or whatever, but that's like there's so many opportunities to optimize, you know, like with us, like figuring out how to optimize the sleep schedule, the NAP schedule, you know, just the very, very simple things like, okay, we both work from home, but you know, stopping and starting work to tend to our son is
00:09:10:21 - 00:09:41:23
Unknown
not super helpful for me. So it's like, well, let me just like time. BLOCK You know, a big portion of time where we're just like, I'm going to work on things that don't require a whole lot of, you know, deep diving with my mind, a whole lot of creativity. And and then so I'm kind of like, bookend where I'm, I'm working with him with our son earlier in the day and then in the early afternoon, like, so he has like a little two hour nap and then I'm going to work with him when he wakes up.
00:09:42:01 - 00:10:06:17
Unknown
And then after that, I'm just going to just not think about him and like literally going to go to another floor in our home. I might go to a co-working space, but it's it's just easier for me to not feel drained if I don't have to do the stop, start, stop, start. And, you know, we're all like kind of like doing it where it's like, oh, it's a team effort.
00:10:06:17 - 00:10:37:07
Unknown
Well, sometimes doing the team effort for the sake of having a team effort is just really draining because no one's able to actually get any momentum with their work. And if you don't have momentum with your work, then you're frustrated. And that frustration leads to more thinking. And all that thinking just leads to brain drain. So yeah, I'd love to see what this guys like schedule looks like because I feel like there's some opportunities for improvement there.
00:10:37:09 - 00:11:09:07
Unknown
That's an athlete term for you. Non athletes out there. Although I feel like an athlete, some opportunities for improvement. Oh, sounds like my report card at school. Yeah we used to get these things called like we call them office opportunities for improvement. And any time someone did something wrong, say you missed your assignment, you were late, you got in trouble in class or whatever.
00:11:09:08 - 00:11:37:01
Unknown
You get assigned an officer and the after practice, so you're already tired after practice. The coach would basically take you through conditioning drills. So like you're running up and down the field, then you're doing bear crawls up and down the field and then you're doing like crab walks up and down the field. And, you know, it's it's a sense of really fun to watch your friends have to go through.
00:11:37:03 - 00:12:01:13
Unknown
Oh, is not fun when you're doing it yourself. Okay. So. So that was fun. All right. Yeah. Real quick, we have to let you know that, you know, this is a channel on YouTube. You're watching. And we would love it if you would like and subscribe like this video, subscribe to our channel. I will say that subscribing doesn't matter that much.
00:12:01:15 - 00:12:27:12
Unknown
I mean, if you like this video, YouTube knows it and they're going to send you more of our stuff. But if you subscribe, it'll just make us feel good. It's like, Yeah, we'll feel warm and fuzzy inside. Yeah, it's like we know someone out there loves us or even dislikes us, right? Someone like loves us. Besides, people in this house.
00:12:27:14 - 00:12:34:06
Unknown
Yeah. No, we're not desperate for your love, But, hey, if you want to share it, a great way to do it is to subscribe.
00:12:34:06 - 00:12:51:15
Unknown
Okay, So for our next Reddit story, this one is a good one. When did you stop hating your dog? Pepe? And here goes the story. I can't stand my dog. She's the sweetest dog ever.
00:12:51:17 - 00:13:16:06
Unknown
She'll be the perfect dog for a child. But I can't stand her since giving birth. I don't feel that way about my other dog and cat. She's always been kind of stupid. She was impossible to potty trained, destroyed everything inside until about age three. I've had dogs my all my life. This dog has made me decide on never get another after mine pass.
00:13:16:08 - 00:13:39:07
Unknown
We literally bought a house in an attempt to find a solution to the potty training and anxiety. It worked. We have a tree down and fence down so they can't use the dog door right now. My other dog is doing fine, but this one will literally wander around outside for 30 minutes and come inside and piss on my floor an hour later.
00:13:39:09 - 00:14:06:15
Unknown
She's constantly under your feet thinking you might drop a crumb of food. She's just an airhead. I know I won't feel as strongly once the fence goes back up, but I'm five months pee pee and I literally can't stand her. Our relationship has always been rocky, but I've never actually disliked her. When can I expect to stop feeling like this?
00:14:06:17 - 00:14:38:14
Unknown
Okay, so I'm just going to say that I don't blame this woman for feeling the way she feels. I think that I is a lot of work trying to deal with a newborn, raise a newborn, feed a newborn, understand what's going on with the newborn and, you know, having dogs. Look, it's definitely her responsibility. She got the dogs, whatever.
00:14:38:16 - 00:15:10:16
Unknown
But people change, people grow. And and when circumstances as significant as having a kid enter into the space, then you start looking for opportunities to make room for for yourself to have some time, like outside of this whole job of walking the dog, clean up and clean up its messes, you know, taking it to get to the groomer.
00:15:10:16 - 00:15:38:00
Unknown
I mean, like the actual job of taking a dog to a groomer when you have a newborn, it's it's like Mission impossible. It's a whole it's a whole nother thing. Like you like whatever little sliver of time you have during the day that's free now goes to some dog task that is like that. That's not going help you get more sleep, not going to help you get your work done.
00:15:38:02 - 00:16:12:01
Unknown
It's just it just needs to get done and don't dare hire someone to come by the house because they're going to mark that up like 50%, 100%. Right? Pandemic times, it was pretty crazy. So, yeah, so I don't and I don't I so I guess the question is when did you stop hating your dog? I never start. So we have I'll let you we we had had two dogs and we do not have them anymore since having a child because, I mean, kind of everything that you just outlined.
00:16:12:01 - 00:16:48:00
Unknown
I mean, it is those those days of the newborn are crazy. They were my dogs from previous relationship. And it just got to the point where like, we did not have time to take care of them, like and I think, like, I can totally relate to this woman because when you're in those first few months, you know, you're breastfeeding, you're pumping your you know, you're trying to sleep, you're trying to, you know, every few days it might be nice to take a shower like every spare, you know, 5 to 10 minutes of time to yourself is really precious.
00:16:48:00 - 00:17:08:08
Unknown
And when you have dogs and like you need to feed them and take them out and with our dogs, they, you know, one of them had a lot of medication that he had to take constantly. And it was it was nonstop and something had to give. And it was the dogs that went. And I, I feel really good about our decision.
00:17:08:09 - 00:17:28:16
Unknown
You know, I, I don't regret it. It was a very hard decision to make. But I think for our family it was the best decision. So the question as to when am I going to stop feeling like this? You might never stop feeling like that. And that's okay. And it might just be the best thing to do to find the dog a new home.
00:17:28:18 - 00:17:51:16
Unknown
Hopefully it's a really cute dog because it's not that easy to rehome dogs. It's not. It's not. But we had some super cute ones and we had a great dog walker that actually we worked on her over several months and she she took the dogs and it worked out really well for everyone. She's very happy. She loves them, she loves them.
00:17:51:17 - 00:18:13:03
Unknown
And why wouldn't she? Yeah, they're great, great, great, great dogs. If you have nothing else to do other than just follow them around and take them. I mean, I mean, one of them. The other one. He didn't even want to see you. It was good. Didn't want to see you. Let me out, like, once, maybe twice a day.
00:18:13:05 - 00:18:56:13
Unknown
Yeah. And one of them had. Don't really care. Yeah. Yeah. Missy Wiley. Anyway, um, the other one. Oh, I snapped that. My baby. You know, that's. That's the. We mentioned that, you know, he was violent towards children. Yeah, that was. He was, yeah. He was not going to mesh well with a baby, so whoever. So the people out there who were like, watching this and like you guys are horrible, I, he snapped at my baby and he snapped it at her knees like, I mean ah baby, I mean yes, our baby, our baby.
00:18:56:15 - 00:19:29:21
Unknown
And also in our knees. Yeah, like, I guess. Turn please. Your knees too. Yeah. Yes, that's true. Her sister's daughter. Yes. And so we had to go. Yeah, that's a problem anyway. Well, I said, Oh, I said R.I.P.. But he's like she's. He's alive. Okay. Uh, all right, so here we go. You know, this is our last question.
00:19:29:23 - 00:19:57:12
Unknown
I'm going to let Jimmy read it. Okay? You know. Oh, okay. As I get on, my wife doesn't let me comfort our baby. My wife says she has a one year old baby boy's safe place slash person. So when he gets hurt by crawling to a table or he twists his fingers while turning, tossing or crawling and my instincts tell me I must comfort him.
00:19:57:14 - 00:20:18:15
Unknown
I don't know. Kiss him, show him he's okay. Carry him, hug him, maybe sing to him, let him know he is safe and cared for. I quickly do it like anyone should do. But my wife takes them from me stating that she is a safe place person. I give the baby to her by doing so. I feel sad, lonely, deprived, and angry at her.
00:20:18:17 - 00:20:44:21
Unknown
I'm afraid that my baby learns that he can count, that he can only count on his mother. And I'm not reliable, damaging our bond. Wow. Okay. This person is too. That was all one sentence. I was struggling to read it because that's like the most. I'm being childish. Is she right or should I keep comforting him? What would be the best thing for the baby?
00:20:44:23 - 00:21:11:18
Unknown
I think the best thing for the baby would be to have two parents that he feels comfortable and safe with. I think that it sounds like the wife is obviously going through something. She's maybe got I don't know if it's control issues or she's got some postpartum or if she doesn't trust her husband like what the issue is.
00:21:11:18 - 00:21:56:01
Unknown
But I think that she needs to her husband needs to be empowered to be able to take care of the child as well. I think that's very important. You know, you both need to be able to take care of the baby because you both one person can't be around 24 seven. Yeah. So, I mean, obviously, I don't know this woman and what's going on in her head, but I would say that her behavior is really out of control.
00:21:56:03 - 00:22:41:08
Unknown
I can't even believe this man is asking the question, Am I being childish? Is she right or should I keep comforting him? Do you I mean, I'm glad if he if there's a doubt in your mind, then I'm glad he's asking someone. But there shouldn't be a doubt in your mind. But unfortunately, there is. I think this is something that happens a lot because the way fathers are frequently treated as non-essential, it's a it's a thing that that I noticed a lot of talking to one talking to men in the lead up to having a son.
00:22:41:10 - 00:23:15:01
Unknown
They're like, oh, you know, you're not really worried about doing anything in the beginning. Like it's, you know, all the woman, you know, your wife takes care of that, whatever. And that was like a lot of guys said that to me and I was like, Wow, this is weird. Yeah, that's pretty shocking. And and then the other part is there's tons of just marketing out there, social media videos, all kinds of stuff where, where a lot of the parenting advice, it comes from the vantage point of a woman, a woman's perspective.
00:23:15:03 - 00:23:49:00
Unknown
So much of the of the primary parenting commentators are women. And and the way it's kind of presented it is, is that like, yeah, the the father is secondary and and then in some cases unfortunately I think parents can find themselves some parents can find and find themselves trying to compete with the other parent. You know, it's like this desperate desire for like this child to love you more than the other.
00:23:49:00 - 00:24:17:15
Unknown
Right. And it sounds crazy, but I know there are people out there who, like, have these issues. And so it sounds like she's legit, like literally competing for like favorite parent, which is weird and yeah, so yeah. And I think it's I mean, to your point about there, there are unfortunately a lot of dads who have that attitude of, oh, you know, it's it's all the mom for the first couple of years.
00:24:17:15 - 00:24:38:07
Unknown
Like I'll come in when like, you know, all the hot stuff is out of the way and I think it's great that this guy obviously is going against that. And his instinct is to be there for his kid to be a part of his kid's life from the you know, from the get go. And I think that that should be applauded and encouraged.
00:24:38:07 - 00:25:07:17
Unknown
And any woman that is reject saying that like what is going on girl you know you want all the help that you can get like I mean I have a lot of friends who would be ecstatic about that. You know, if they're if you know and wish that their partners would do more and be more involved and I think that that's probably pretty common.
00:25:07:19 - 00:25:31:01
Unknown
And yeah, this guy should he should absolutely stand up for himself in this situation. And I think it's probably a a touchy subject. I mean, I don't know what's going on with her. Like, you know, does she have issues from her past that, you know, are making her like, is she just very protective over the baby? Like, you know, she got some kind of anxiety, some kind of depression.
00:25:31:01 - 00:25:53:15
Unknown
So it's definitely something that should be handled with care. But yeah, I think this guy and it's a fight for what he believes in. And ultimately that will benefit the child because the child needs to know that his dad is there for him and loves him, you know? And what better way than to
00:25:53:15 - 00:25:58:12
Unknown
have some technical difficulties back?
00:25:58:12 - 00:26:33:00
Unknown
They're not really sure where you left off when when the video went. Yeah, when the girl just went to bed. Yeah. I was just saying, like, I think this guy needs to stick to his guns, followers and things to be there for his kids. And I think a lot of women would really appreciate that. And there's obviously something going on with his wife on a deeper level where she is not allowing him to be there for for the kids.
00:26:33:00 - 00:26:55:10
Unknown
So I think that that needs to be explored and handled probably with a little bit of care. But ultimately, he definitely needs to push for being able to share the responsibility of his child. I mean, he's the child's father, so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you know, I said we have three, three stories, but I decided, like, we should have another one.
00:26:55:11 - 00:27:23:12
Unknown
Oh, okay. All right. Because this one reminded me of another story that I wanted to talk about last week, and then I just kind of forgot. So this one's called. My husband and my son have grown apart, and my husband has taken it really hard. My son, one and a half years old, year old, has grown so distant with my husband, and my husband is getting really heard about it.
00:27:23:14 - 00:27:46:02
Unknown
Like when my husband tries to pick him up, he will scream and run away. My son has always preferred me, but he's a breastfed baby, so that's to be expected. The problem is I can see my husband attaching more and more the past week or so. He has little patience. He has had little patience and just not spending much time with the little guy.
00:27:46:04 - 00:28:10:00
Unknown
He used to start fresh every day. But lately, any little thing my son does sets the mood for the rest of the day. I can't even imagine what type of rejection, what that type of rejection feels like. Sorry, y'all. I'm looking at some tiny print here, but I also believe that with parenting, you get what you give. I just don't know how to help them bond.
00:28:10:02 - 00:28:29:14
Unknown
I'm worried if I pointed out it will come off as condescending. I can't remember the last time he sat down with no distraction and played with my son. It hurts me for both of them as I want them to have an amazing bond. I know my husband does too. Also, it's so draining, being the only parent the child comes to.
00:28:29:16 - 00:28:53:17
Unknown
And then some additional info. It seems like my son is just going through some stuff in general sleep regression and separation anxiety potentially. We're also going through a tough time financially, so I know that stress will be affecting my husband as well. Is this a normal thing or should I just wait it out? Should I say something? Any advice would be amazing.
00:28:53:19 - 00:29:28:15
Unknown
What do you think? That's tough. Yeah, it sounds like there's a lot going on here in this situation, but I feel like it's kind of on the dad, too, to make a bit more of an effort and to try and find ways to bond with this kid, because I think that the kid needs both parents. You know, I can appreciate that.
00:29:28:17 - 00:30:04:09
Unknown
It's it's hard when, you know, the baby is obviously like going towards one parent more than another, you know, And I think that I've probably felt that a little bit sometimes because, you know, with our son, you know, you're very close with him and, you know, you have a bond. And when he's mad or upset, like, you are just really great at calming him down and you do a better job of it than I do.
00:30:04:09 - 00:30:35:06
Unknown
And, you know, sometimes I get mad at myself and frustrated and, you know, feel like, why can't I do that? Why can't I calm down? You know? And I, I get worked up about it and I you know, and I have to sometimes just take a minute and, you know, take a breath and just kind of come back to it and but I think at the end of the day, it's really great that you can do that right now.
00:30:35:06 - 00:31:02:16
Unknown
And I'm getting better at doing that. And I just think that you have got to keep trying. Right. And I think that something that we were talking about earlier when you went on the trip to San Francisco like that was something that I was a little bit nervous about. But I think it was actually really good for me because, you know, I can do it and like I am capable of doing it.
00:31:02:16 - 00:31:28:04
Unknown
And I think it's just sometimes it's better when it's just me by myself with them, because if you're around, he'll look for you, you know? But if you're not around like he's, you know, I got it and sounds like someone's advocating for me having to day to day trip. So it's like, Oh, look at this. I'm not advocating for that.
00:31:28:04 - 00:32:02:13
Unknown
I'm just saying that in the context of this, maybe it would be a good idea for the dad. Maybe he just needs to spend some time alone with his son without the mom around. Because, you know, if the mom's around and the automatic reaction is for, you know, his son to, like, turn to her, if you remove her from the equation, you know, there's one adult in the room and, you know, I only there's only there's only one of you can come on top in that situation.
00:32:02:15 - 00:32:28:10
Unknown
So I don't know, maybe maybe that's maybe that's an idea. I mean, obviously it's a problem if he doesn't want to do that. Right. Like, I mean, that's that's an issue. But yeah, I mean, that's that's kind of where my head goes on that. Yeah, I think she so she wanted to know should she say something to her husband And it's like yeah, absolutely.
00:32:28:10 - 00:32:51:08
Unknown
Yeah. What a what a straight yes. You should say something. If your husband is too immature to have a conversation with you about something that you're noticing, that's, like, objectively weird and should stop, then that's, that's obviously not great. And I'm not saying, well, you should just leave this guy. But like, I think that's an opportunity for improvement.
00:32:51:08 - 00:33:21:15
Unknown
And in this case it would be in the form of therapy. I think you've got to have you've got to be able to communicate with your spouse around delicate topics. And and there shouldn't be this fear around saying something to him that's clearly going to help him out. So, I mean, to me, I think that, you know, I'm not saying I don't know this guy, so I don't know what the best approach is.
00:33:21:15 - 00:33:53:12
Unknown
But for me, I would want to help him to understand that, you know, that this kid is constantly changing and whatever attitude he has toward you, there's a very good chance that it's related to, like the internal, like negativity and conflict that you're dealing with. We're dealing with like tough times financially. And as a result of that, your mood is not great.
00:33:53:14 - 00:34:28:03
Unknown
I get that. It's not that you're in a bad place, but your mood is not great. Your energy's like super off and our child feels it like he's he's responding to that. So what you're getting out of him is a reflection of what we're getting and what he's getting out of you. So maybe clean that up first and then the next part of what I would say is, and here's why you're going to want to do that, because whether you like it or not, you're going to have to pay to raise this child.
00:34:28:07 - 00:35:01:21
Unknown
Okay. Like you you have to pay to raise him. And he's going to get older and older and older. And while like, you know, this might be a temporary thing right now, if you show a resentful nature toward this child simply because he's not responds responding to you in the way you would like, and you don't take extra extra pains and extra steps to figure out a better way to connect with him over time.
00:35:01:23 - 00:35:33:21
Unknown
What Turn was started out as just a child, just kind of, you know, acting the way or how he was acting. And then it goes from this child is like, my dad doesn't want to be around me, He doesn't love me, he doesn't care about me because dad gave up out of frustration. And, you know, that's, that's, um, I think if one other thing I would say, it's not about you.
00:35:33:23 - 00:36:04:20
Unknown
Like, I mean, as a dad, your job is to build the mind of the minds of your kids and then build defenses for their minds, right? Like help them to, to be in a place where they're they've got a strong mind, strong offensive mind and a strong defensive mind. Some more sports for you. All right there. Parent like an athlete, you know, strong defense, strong offense.
00:36:04:20 - 00:36:28:03
Unknown
And and you know what? Like there are going to be times where your child's childhood and do something you really don't like. But when it's a one and a half, he's just too young for it to even matter. It's like get offended by that. Like, I shudder to think how this guy responds to some negative criticism at work.
00:36:28:03 - 00:37:02:11
Unknown
Like, like, like what happened when his teacher wrote on his on his math test, like shoddy work, room for improvement room for improvement. You can do you're you're better than this. You're. You're better than this. Yeah. This guy, he sounds he sounds a little sensitive. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Um, what do you think? One more. I don't know. I feel weird about.
00:37:02:13 - 00:37:34:09
Unknown
About our podcast short. Like, y'all had this whole plan we were going to because the first episode was, like, almost an hour and a half. An hour and a half. That's too long. And then I was like, Okay, let's find a way to streamline this down to 30 minutes. But 30 minutes is just business, you know? It's like, Oh, we're going to read, we read the story, we're going to talk about it, and then, you know, and there's no room for us to just like, you know, shoot the pool.
00:37:34:11 - 00:37:50:21
Unknown
You know, I'm trying not to curse. Is you curse twice on the last one that you did, it was just so free flowing. I was like, You bleep me. No, I didn't bleep. You'll want the world to know me. That would have been kind of funny. I don't know how to do that. I'm okay. I probably could figure it out.
00:37:50:21 - 00:38:21:03
Unknown
But I just didn't want to. But yeah, Anyway, so I'm. We're going to keep the cursing two zero shoot in the pool. That's correct. But doesn't that sound good? Yeah. Yeah, it's like, good. Okay, well, let's do another one. Okay, We're going to say no. I was going to say, I just wonder if anyone's going to listen this far into the podcast.
00:38:21:05 - 00:38:47:04
Unknown
You know, the thing is, someone will like I've seen the metrics. There are people who did go pretty deep, and I don't want to disappoint those people. Okay, Well, hey, if you if you're the person that is still listening at this point, we appreciate you person to person. If you're one of the masses, if you're one of the thousands of people, those hundreds of thousands of people who are still.
00:38:47:06 - 00:39:27:17
Unknown
Yeah. Okay. I feel we should finish. So that's something like light and fun. Light and fun. Okay. Um. Oh, did you. Did you have something in mind? Why don't you tell everyone a story while I figure out what's next? Because this is. I didn't prepare for this. I mean, a story about what I'm telling a story about, Um, tell me about your weekend.
00:39:27:19 - 00:40:14:02
Unknown
Okay. I don't know. Uh, you can just going to cut it, though, so that's not true. If it's a good story, I'm keeping it. I mean, we had a great weekend. We went away to a place in Dripping Springs. For those of you that know the Austin area, it's like 45 minutes away. Had a little staycation. One thing that we discovered, well, we kind of knew this before we went, but going away with a baby who goes to sleep early is a little restrictive because, you know, you have your dinner early and then you put them down and then you're kind of stuck in the hotel trying not to make any noise for the rest
00:40:14:02 - 00:40:45:20
Unknown
of the night. So, you know, normally we're at home. We can come down to my living room, you know, So unless we get a sitter, we go out. Sometimes we just watch TV and hang out. But, uh, yeah, it's a little different. So not sure if we're going to be going anywhere. Well, we have a wedding to go to, but, uh, yeah, so funny that you told that story because this what I came up with and, I mean, it's just like a it just aligned perfectly.
00:40:45:22 - 00:40:48:15
Unknown
Oh, this wasn't even rehearsed,
00:40:48:15 - 00:41:07:11
Unknown
tips for staying in a hotel for four nights. We haven't stayed in a hotel with our kids since our now four year old was a baby. She has always and still does go to bed way earlier than we do. So when we travel, we always stay in a condo or Airbnb or with family.
00:41:07:13 - 00:41:34:14
Unknown
But Mil mother in law is paying for this trip and she refuses to stay anywhere but a hotel. Fancy. She will. She will thankfully be in another room. But my husband and I, his 14 year old and our four year old are staying in a room. Any tips on keeping us all sane in there and her entertained? Should I buy her some new toy or something?
00:41:34:16 - 00:41:53:22
Unknown
My husband is already mad because since we will be out doing things during the day, she won't be getting a nap, which means she will need to go to bed on time if not earlier. But he doesn't want to. He doesn't want to just sit in a dark, quiet room for hours while she sleeps. I told him he's just going to have to deal with it.
00:41:54:00 - 00:42:28:23
Unknown
I already know our sleep is going to be crap. I'm just trying to find ways to keep everyone as happy as I can. Okay. I have a few thoughts on this. Yeah. I think that as adults with children, you need to make the best decision for your family. And just because your mother in law wants you to stay at a hotel does not mean that that's what you should do, first of all.
00:42:29:01 - 00:42:52:02
Unknown
And, you know, did she said that the mother in law is paying for it? The mother in law is paying for the trip. Yes. I mean, I think, first of all, needs to be a conversation with the mother in law that says, thank you so much for paying for the trip. Unfortunately, staying in a hotel is going to be really difficult for us because, you know, we have a four year old who needs to go to bed early.
00:42:52:02 - 00:43:16:01
Unknown
And if she goes to bed early, we all have to go to bed early. Otherwise, I mean, one, we can't leave her in the hotel room by herself. And two, if we come in and the hotel room anyway, we're going to wake her up. So it just doesn't work, you know? Is there a compromise? Could we stay at a condo and then maybe in the evenings y'all could come over?
00:43:16:03 - 00:43:48:16
Unknown
I mean, there's just there's ways around this, right? And it seems it seems kind of crazy. Also, the husband saying that we're going to be out all day and she can't like a nap. I mean, there's ways, you know, coming back to the hotel room for 90 minutes, 2 hours, like only one of them has to come. I mean, I get that it might be inconvenient, but if it's going to be less tantrums or a better night's sleep, it's probably worth it, Right?
00:43:48:16 - 00:44:17:12
Unknown
Like also like if you all go out for, like, a big brunch or something, you might want to come back and have a nap anyway. Or you might need a break from this mother in law, you know, just to hang out in the room for a bit. Yeah, Yeah, yeah. All right. So. Hmm. We as you mentioned, we had our our little trip and we ran into this issue.
00:44:17:14 - 00:44:46:02
Unknown
It was it was like, should climb out of the bedroom window. How do we do this? We just stayed in the room and just sat on the front porch, not to leave, to sit on the front porch. Yeah, we're not. We're not those kinds of parents. Hey, if you're wondering if you can check into a hotel and leave your baby sleeping there with a monitor while you're, like, hanging out somewhere else in the hotel, in the restaurant.
00:44:46:04 - 00:45:08:13
Unknown
You can't. It's it's. It's illegal. I can't do it. Trust me. Not because not that I would. Because I found out or anything. Not got arrested or anything. I read an article about some famous person who did it and they got arrested and and it was like, well of course it's. Yeah, I don't remember because I'm not really into that, you know, celebrity stuff.
00:45:08:15 - 00:45:35:03
Unknown
It was just something that caught my eye because it was like a legal thing. And I was like, okay, yeah, I'm a lawyer. So I, you know, I get excited about law stuff about people breaking the law. Yeah, Yeah. So what you said about, you know, hey, mother in law, paying for the trip, just pay for the trip yourself or, you know, the husband's the one that's the most upset about all this.
00:45:35:03 - 00:45:58:02
Unknown
Like, just talk to him. Hey, dude, just talk to your mom and tell her, you know what your problem is. I mean, she's. She's clearly a very nice person, and she's offering to pay for your trip. I mean, this doesn't sound like the most unreasonable person on Earth. I think there's a way to work this out also. Well, unless she's doing it to assert control.
00:45:58:04 - 00:46:25:15
Unknown
Yeah, well, you know, I mean, great way to assert control is to come off as like a superstar grandma who makes it easy for her 14 year old grandson to get out and hang out with her a little bit. You know, after after the four year old goes to bed at 630 now. Yeah. I mean, so I would say my son just talked to his mom.
00:46:25:15 - 00:46:52:00
Unknown
He's the one that's the most upset about this. But but here's the thing. I looked at this earlier and I was like, I need to read the comments because I need some tips. I, I, we failed mostly because we were just, you know, stuck in the room and we just didn't do it right. And I found something interesting.
00:46:52:02 - 00:47:17:23
Unknown
There's a product, it's called Slumber Pod. We are not getting paid to say slumber pod, but slumber pod, if you're listening and your Life sponsors podcast and we'd love to shoes even though it's slumber party, I have no idea. I didn't peek at this one. It's like I'm off the cuff on this one. So I looked up with the slumber parties.
00:47:17:23 - 00:47:44:06
Unknown
It is basically a giant blackout tent that that wraps your travel crib or travel bassinet or whatever. Like it just wraps it in this tent and then it comes. You can buy a fan that goes with it. But I was just like, you know, get the white noise machine. You surround it with white noise, and then people can kind of like move around and about.
00:47:44:06 - 00:48:14:22
Unknown
You can have the lights on it blocks out like 90% of in room, like not like just, you know, ambient. My like, huh. It, it, it turns it into like a fortress of solitude for the baby apparently and and moms on call recommends this like so it's it's legit I mean I haven't tried it but well I mean it would have to be like if you were in a hotel room now, you'd still be in the room.
00:48:14:23 - 00:48:38:14
Unknown
You'd still be in the room. But I guess what I'm saying is, last night we couldn't. So this place, we were staying it, we couldn't even go into the living space and just grab something out of the refrigerator. Like. Like we left things in the. In the living room space where he was sleeping and where he was sleeping.
00:48:38:16 - 00:49:02:06
Unknown
And and so we were just kind of like, stuck in our rooms, like we couldn't I mean, I guess it's a better situation than if you literally just had one room, like a hotel room, Like at least we had a separate kitchen done, you know, living where he was. But even but this but this slumber pod is designed to, like, help you use that one hotel room.
00:49:02:08 - 00:49:33:03
Unknown
I don't know what hotel rooms have enough room for. That is my next question. It sounds pretty big. Yeah. So maybe if you're the. You know what? I'm going to stop over to say something. You know, best Western's fine. You know, I've seen some nights best as this season in that nice about best west best western maybe if you're like you know it's great What is that Ramada Inn now I was going to say they, uh, the motel.
00:49:33:03 - 00:49:51:03
Unknown
Like a motel. Like Motel six. Motel six. Yeah. Yeah. On the highway. Yeah. I mean, I don't know, have much else. Sex would accommodate a slumber pod, but, you know, if you're at, like, the Saint Regis, like, you know, maybe. I don't know what that is. It sounds like some fans are going to go. It's very fancy. Oh, Lord, no State.
00:49:51:05 - 00:50:07:00
Unknown
But, you know, just dropping, dropping names of places. And she's never been like she's been I mean, you know, we don't know what this mother is. Mother in law could be like, you know, millionaire mother in law. It's possible. Very possible.
00:50:07:00 - 00:50:15:22
Unknown
Okay, You also we're doing one more bonus, one for good luck, one last story, and then we'll leave you alone.
00:50:16:00 - 00:50:52:14
Unknown
And then you're going to leave us. Okay? Here it is. Oh, you got. Did you want to read it or go for him? I'm going to read it. Okay. Can we stop with the however months old after a year? Oh, my gosh. Oh, my God. Is is amped about this already? Why do parents do this? I have a two and a half year old and it's kind of annoying when a when asking parents this person is just really bothering me with their grammar.
00:50:52:16 - 00:51:24:00
Unknown
I have a there's a lot of that on Reddit. I have a new number two in the letter N and then space a space half old. I have a two and a half old. Oh my gosh. Oh, like deep breaths. And it's kind of annoying when asking parents and they're like, Oh, he's 38 months or whatever lol. After a year, it shouldn't go by months anymore.
00:51:24:05 - 00:51:46:17
Unknown
I mean, it doesn't ruin my day or anything. I just think it's silly little. Okay, la la la la la la. All alone. All right, you got some. You got some problems with this. I tell you what, it kind of drives me nuts. I would say, like, up to, like, maybe 18 months, I think obviously up to a year, you know, ten, 11 months.
00:51:46:17 - 00:52:13:23
Unknown
Great. Then that one. Yeah. Like it's like I think people like I think 18 months me is the cutoff. Like when I hear people say she's she's 23 months. So yeah, he's, he's 32 months next week it's like what Like humans aren't think like that right. Like the only way that people talk about this is with babies. Do you, do you know why they do that?
00:52:14:01 - 00:52:43:18
Unknown
No. Do you? I have a theory. Okay, Sarah. Okay So. So you guys haven't heard me talk about this, but there is a place called the Think Tree near us, and, you know, we'll frequently take our son to the think tree. And when you run into parents there, they're always asking the same question. How old is he? How old is he?
00:52:43:20 - 00:53:09:08
Unknown
Oh, he's so cute. Oldest. He it's like gross. Okay. Like, I can't ask you how old you are. Like, I can't do that, But you're asking how old? Because, you know, we're in the little baby. The baby, the small baby section, right where they're not able to do a whole lot. So it's like we're going to keep them over there.
00:53:09:10 - 00:53:32:07
Unknown
And and it's just like this kind of like baby measuring contest is going on. They're like, Yeah, oh, yeah, like mine is my. And then their head, it's like, mine is this old and he looks like he's this old, but if he's younger than mine and then that's like, maybe mine is like, yeah, not progressing fast enough. And it's literally and it's like coming out.
00:53:32:07 - 00:53:58:01
Unknown
And so then I'll see how old he is and then they'll be like, Wow, he's big for his age, like, or Wow, that's and it's just like, Man, is he walking? Is he doing this? Their minds? Minds not? Yes. Then they follow up with they're looking for something to like to level set the difference like all our kids so much bigger will is he walking earlier or is that just my kid?
00:53:58:03 - 00:54:23:13
Unknown
And it's just like, yo, this has got to stop. So, I mean, I haven't had anyone tell me that they have a 23 month old baby, so I haven't actually heard this, but I don't necessarily like talking in months. Yeah. After one and in it. But you know what the thing is, I know why people are doing it.
00:54:23:15 - 00:54:45:03
Unknown
And sometimes I like to have a little fun with it, you know, Sometimes I want to say he's like two months younger than like a number that's two, but that's two less than his actual age. Like a mess of people. Yeah. Just to be like, Oh, wow, that baby's so big and he's walking around. How old is he?
00:54:45:05 - 00:55:08:13
Unknown
Is nine months. Okay, so 13? No. Yeah, nine. Nine months. What? That's crazy. Yeah, we should. I think that would ruin someone's day. That's not a sign. Nice thing. We should not do that. That would would literally ruin one of these people's days because that's, that's what's going on in their heads. It's so Yeah it's, it's so embarrassing thing.
00:55:08:13 - 00:55:29:04
Unknown
Yeah. Yeah. But yeah I do it it really annoys me with older babies to talk in months. It's like imagine Yeah. Imagine if you had to if you answered that question for yourself in months. Like how many months out here. Oh, I don't want to do math in my head. Yeah, I don't want to spell in my head or do math.
00:55:29:06 - 00:55:55:11
Unknown
Yeah, I don't want to work out how many months old I am. So since. But it's just it's a strange concepts like makes total sense for like babies, you know, on the younger less than one. Especially because they change so much, you know they, they develop so much, you know, every, every week. But yeah, it's please stop this people.
00:55:55:13 - 00:56:22:02
Unknown
Stop, stop, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it, stop it. And stop asking if someone has a name for their baby. Yes. Stop that. Yes, Stop it. Yeah. What percentage? I mean, I thought we were done, but like, what percentage of we are done? But what percentage of the people out there who are who are expecting actually disclosed the name of the baby?
00:56:22:04 - 00:56:45:00
Unknown
Like just willing willingly before they know like yes there is with people that do that but no but like how what percentage like are you like is it 10% is a 20%? Are we talking like 45% is half the population Like just I would say just waiting with bated breath like because a lot of people have like baby showers was like baby so and so.
00:56:45:00 - 00:57:10:03
Unknown
I mean, we know people that, you know, literally find out they're pregnant and are posting as soon as they find out the sex and nine weeks that posting like baby so incredibly baby Billy you know you know they're getting the name baby Bob Thornton the named ones is and everything is like Billy this Billy that. And it's like, what if you change your mind?
00:57:10:03 - 00:57:39:03
Unknown
Like, do you not want the prerogative to change your mind? And I guess you could still change your mind, but like, you're committed if you're telling people. Yeah, I think, I think so. I don't know. I mean, the only way you wouldn't be committed is if, like, you know, one parent just went rogue and was like, what if I if you got like, if you got a lot of feedback on the night before, like, hey, Billy, like, typically kid Billy like, Billy sucks, you know?
00:57:39:05 - 00:58:03:21
Unknown
And it like going ahead for the record, we like the name Billy Rex. On the other hand, I'm just I'm joking. I'm joking. If you're Rex, we love Rex Chapman, so. Well, I do. I don't know who. Anyway, he's a he played basketball for the Kentucky Wildcats and the Phenix Suns. Okay. Yeah, he's he's the real deal. A a champion, in fact.
00:58:03:23 - 00:58:29:11
Unknown
Anyway, yeah, we were on that note. We were. We were wrapping it up. We were wrapping it up. And then we got just I don't know how even started rambling about this, but. But you know what? This is a great opportunity to remind you to like this video and subscribe and share it with your friends and comment. Drop some comments.
00:58:29:11 - 00:59:01:23
Unknown
Please comment. We don't we should have said this earlier because most people are gone. Yeah, but the true ones, the ones that are truly here to have with those are ride or die. And yeah writer dies. Drop some comments because you know we we don't know like nearly as much as we'd like to know like yeah we know that thing we know like the same I feel like we know like the similar percentage of like what other people know.
00:59:02:01 - 00:59:23:14
Unknown
And so we're just trying to like put our little bit that we know and link it up like Lego blocks with little bit that you know, and we can just like crowdsource this. We can crowdsource parenting like an athlete. I mean, you guys can even join us on some. Yeah. Episodes. Yeah, we can do a live show. Yeah.
00:59:23:16 - 00:59:45:13
Unknown
If you guys are if you're watching this right now and you want to be a part of the show and you want to be on a live, live show that's up here. But yeah, you know, I think we want the baby. What? The right way. He'll go to sleep, but we probably shouldn't be talking so that. Yeah. Okay, well, okay.
00:59:45:13 - 01:00:02:19
Unknown
Well, seems like a good time to wrap it up. Yeah. Yeah. Thanks for your support. We appreciate you. Oh, he's really bad. He's like, We hope. Pipe down. All right. Oh, boy. Okay. Oh, flavor shout from now.