Beyond The Lines is a podcast created to talk about topics on our college campus that our students want to talk about. Each semester the season will be themed around a different topic that affects students from all walks.
I am one of your cohosts, Malachi Renix.
Ashton:And I am your other cohost, Ashton Phillips.
Malachi:And so, going over the course of this season, this is gonna be our first episode. We'll be diving into a few different topics and really bringing some resources to students. We'll see some different, campus departments come in, and give some resources, and you also get to hear some stories from me and Ashton. And so, to kick off this first, episode, Ashton will dive into some of different topics that we have coming up with the Super Bowl.
Ashton:What's your Super Bowl prediction?
Malachi:So I am gonna be a little bit biased here. I have to be completely honest. The 49ers have 5 Super Bowls. The Steelers is my favorite team. They have 6 Super Bowls.
Malachi:I would do anything I possibly can to make sure we're the only team oh, so aside from the Patriots, but that's that. They have that Tom Brady.
Ashton:How many do they have?
Malachi:The Patriots have they have 6, but that's only because of Tom Brady.
Ashton:So it still counts.
Malachi:Only because of Tom Brady. So I want the Chiefs to win so that the 40 niners don't have 6 Super Bowls. So, I got the Chiefs beating the 40 niners 24 to 17.
Ashton:Okay. I agree. I have the Chiefs winning, but that's just because I consider myself semi a Chiefs fan.
Malachi:Why is that?
Ashton:I just like Patrick Mahomes. And I'm gonna be honest with y'all. I had a Patrick Mahomes jersey before he won a Super Bowl. So you can't say anything about a bandwagon.
Malachi:Okay.
Ashton:They're my second favorite team.
Malachi:Who's your first?
Ashton:The Commanders. So you not gotta have a backup, like
Malachi:No. For sure. You definitely do a backup. Yeah. A 100%.
Ashton:Like, I don't know. So I agree. I'm gonna go with the Chiefs. Like, 32 to 28.
Malachi:Pretty high scoring Super Bowl. Okay. Sounds good. I know the next topic we wanna talk about, Olivia Kupo and Lisa McCaffrey were going back and forth about the Super Bowl suite. So in some of the research I did, Lisa McCaffrey got on her podcast, Your Mom.
Malachi:And on that podcast, she was talking about they were trying to get a suite for the Super Bowl, and they couldn't afford it as she put it. And I quote, Christian bag money bags couldn't afford it, and Olivia money bags couldn't afford it either. Come to find out, I think I think it was maybe, like, an hour or an hour, but a couple hours later later that day, Olivia Kupo posted on her story that she said fake news and that she actually got the sweet, and it was a birthday gift to Lisa McCaffrey.
Ashton:I saw that. But I saw that her or their Christian's mom said they looked into a suite and nobody from the family could afford it, and that Christian didn't want any of them paying for them to see him play. But according to e news, they were reportedly going up upwards of $2,500,000 for a sweep.
Malachi:Wow. To see the Super Bowl? Wow.
Ashton:That's insane. But, like, it's your son.
Malachi:I agree. That is your son. That is your son.
Ashton:$2,500,000, though?
Malachi:Yeah. That is your son. My I think this is Super Bowl. Let's let's really be honest. This is his first Super Bowl.
Malachi:We we're not saying anything against Kitching McCaffrey, but it's very rare that NFL players even get to play in a Super Bowl. And so I do think it is worth the investment, but the 2,500,000 is is an outrageous number, though. I will say.
Ashton:It is, though. But also, like, the story seems kinda out of touch with reality.
Malachi:Just a little bit.
Ashton:You need a sweet?
Malachi:Just a little bit.
Ashton:Like, come on now.
Malachi:Just go to the game. Like Just go to the game. Just go to the game. But either way, though, I think to me was interesting. I wonder in Christian McCaffrey's eyes, did he was he mad at his mom for doing that?
Malachi:Because no one would know about this story if she didn't talk about it on her podcast and make it what it is. And then Olivia went and spent the money on it. And I'm sure if that is true, Christian McCaffrey didn't want them to spend, he was not happy that she had to spend the money. Because realistically, once his mom came out and said that she had to spend the money. Like, she didn't really have a choice.
Ashton:Yeah.
Malachi:So I
Ashton:said $2,500,000 is insane, though.
Malachi:I agree.
Ashton:It's so, like, once again, out of touch with reality. It's fine though. Do you think Taylor Swift's gonna make it to the game?
Malachi:Yes. I think without a doubt, Taylor Swift is gonna make it to the game. She's definitely gonna make that. You think
Ashton:it's gonna be a story?
Malachi:Oh, it's for sure gonna be a story. But I think
Ashton:I don't know, though. Like, it well, no. It's definitely gonna be
Malachi:a story.
Ashton:So, like, this is the Super Bowl. Like, this is one of the biggest events in sports.
Malachi:Yeah. I agree. I think it won't be the story. I think the Super Bowl is still the Super Bowl. It does still serve as president, and that's not taking away from the iconic, artist and the person that Taylor Swift is.
Malachi:But I will say that I do think it will be a major storyline, especially if they win. Some people are speculating that Travis is gonna propose, which I think that's out there. Oh. I think that's outlandish. But, that's the last some of the media that they're saying, as we saw as we first jumped on here, Brock Purdy is looking forward to upsetting Taylor Swift.
Malachi:So, I definitely think in a way, they're they're making it a fun storyline, I will say, though. They're making it entertaining that the fans who already care about Taylor and maybe who aren't the most interested in Taylor are still interested in the media and the questions that they're getting out of it. So
Ashton:Yeah. This is a fairy tale story for fans who are just now joining in on the NFL. Those Swifties who became Chiefs fan this year. Like, I've had to wait, like, my whole entire life for the Commanders to win a Super Bowl. They still haven't done it.
Ashton:Like, this is your first year as a fan and you win the Super Bowl.
Malachi:That's crazy.
Ashton:That is crazy.
Malachi:That's crazy.
Ashton:Exciting, though.
Malachi:That is exciting. That that locks in a fan. I met their 1st year, you win a Super Bowl, and then now it's like, oh my goodness. This is exhilarating.
Ashton:Yeah.
Malachi:And so they they definitely have the right person behind the team. I mean, Patrick Mahomes, the best quarterback in the NFL without a doubt. So, we'll definitely see how Sunday plays out.
Ashton:Yeah. I'll be wearing my Patrick Mahomes jersey. Let's just say that.
Malachi:I will not. But, we can kind of get into, some different stories. Ashton has a few stories, and I have a few stories that we're gonna get to read, and then we're gonna get to give our opinion on it. And, these ones are a little bit more relationship based since we are in the month of love. And so, I will let Ashton kick us off with our first story.
Ashton:K. I asked my boyfriend to cut people out of his life as we try to make things work. To anyone who has done this, does your significant other resent you now?
Malachi:That's a good one. I definitely will say yes, for sure. But I will say it depends on the reason that you're cutting them off. Yeah. Because some people are asking to get cut off and cutting them off because they they they wanna be the prime person in your life.
Malachi:I've I've heard of friends who had that experience that they've cut the people off, and then they've lost that person. And they also lost a lot of their friendships because they lost they'll cut them off for not really a good reason as well.
Ashton:Yeah. It can be toxic.
Malachi:Yeah. Definitely can be toxic. Alright. Sorry. No.
Malachi:You're good.
Ashton:Okay. This is a story. My boyfriend and I have had lots of issues stemming from infidelity. We're trying to reconcile, and he seems to want better in his therapy. As a part of our reconciliation, I asked that he cut off one of his closest friend and I'm not sure if it was the right thing to do.
Ashton:The friend doesn't like me, which I would prefer that he did, but it's totally fine that he doesn't. I recently learned that this friend supplied my boyfriend with contact information of the woman who my boyfriend cheated on me with, not once, but twice so that they could speak again. Yeah. My boyfriend sucks for asking, but does the guy not suck too for providing him with it? He's very well of the fact that my boyfriend does not have this woman's contact anymore because I found out about the cheating and asked him not to communicate with her anymore.
Ashton:I feel bad because I've never been in a relationship where I had to ask anyone to stop being friends with someone.
Malachi:Wow. Wow. So I think before we even address the friend, let's address the boyfriend first. You need to break up with him. That's less just that's just my opinion, I will say.
Malachi:Seeking out the contact of the person that you have already cheated on means you're already going in with that intent. And so that means you already know that that person has access, and I'm assuming he has access because y'all 3 know each other of some way, shape, or form. And so if that guy doesn't already with a friend doesn't already like you, then he's much more willing to give your boyfriend access to the person that he was cheating with and not really care about it from that standpoint. And so addressing their friend, I do understand not wanting your boyfriend to be friends with him. Obviously, as a friend, he's not guiding his friend in the best way and letting him know, like, you're in a relationship.
Malachi:You shouldn't be cheating on the street that could be other. Worst come to worst, you should probably just end the relationship if you're willingly cheating. But, I think a lot of it lies into the boyfriend and that that's probably not a healthy relationship in itself. And honestly, if he's cheated multiple times, I think that's a sign already that you probably should evade the situation.
Ashton:I agree. Like, I don't put up with cheating. You cheat once you're done. Like, that's just how it is. I'm sorry, but I don't think that people change.
Ashton:Like, I think that if they cheat on you once, they're gonna cheat on you again. And it's so disrespectful to you. You're disrespecting yourself by staying in that situation. Yeah. You have a reason to not like the friend, but also you need to deal with your boyfriend.
Malachi:Yeah.
Ashton:Shouldn't be your boyfriend anymore.
Malachi:Yeah. I definitely agree. Alright. So I'm going to get into our second story. My friend's boyfriend is about to ask her to marry him, and I'm the only one who knows how unfaithful she has been.
Malachi:Do I say anything? Let's get into it. Let's call my friend, Maddie, and her boyfriend, Aaron, have been together for 6 years. Aaron is completely blinded by love. And to him, Maddie can do no wrong.
Malachi:I'm not that close to him, but Maddie is one of my best friends. And I know it might not be my place, but I don't want her boyfriend to make a huge mistake. Maddie doesn't let him have any guy friends. In fact, she doesn't let him do a lot of things. He does not go out past 11, not allowed to drink or smoke.
Malachi:She has to approve all of his friends, and he's not allowed to be alone with other girls. She's got this guy in a tight leash. The reason why they're still together is that Aaron is completely in love with her. Now here's the issue. A few weeks prior to this, I hung out with a mutual friend of Maddie's, and she told me about a party they went to where Maddie got drunk and slept with her ex.
Malachi:After the party, they began hooking up regularly, and she had a threesome with her ex and a friend of his. Aaron has no knowledge of these hookups. I told my boyfriend, and he thinks we should tell Aaron the truth. It will destroy him, ruin their entire relationship, and maybe my friendship with Maddie as well. However, I think in the long term, he would be unhappy with the marriage where she's so controlling.
Malachi:Not even that, but if she's completely okay with cheating on her long term partner, it will be the same once they're married. I'm not that close with Aaron, so I feel it's not really my business to tell him. But the more I talk to my boyfriend, the more I feel that I should tell him. It's telling Aaron the right thing to do.
Ashton:That's so hard because that's your friend. But, you gotta tell him you have to. How would you feel if that was you were in that situation? And somebody could tell you, you need to know. Like, yeah, he's gonna be so distraught, but it's gonna come out one day.
Ashton:And you're locked in with a marriage.
Malachi:Whatever is done in the dark will always come to light. That is something I will always believe.
Ashton:It will. And that's just so terrible. And, like, honestly, if your friend's gonna do that, you can't get that mad if they tell. I'm sorry, but you're just you're ruining someone's life.
Malachi:I completely agree. You have no right to get mad. You're the one that's literally carrying out those actions. And then in the worst part about it, you're doing it repeatedly. It'd be different if this was one time and and you were so sorry about it, and you you've and even then so, I mean, that's not excusing it at all, not in the slightest of it.
Malachi:But to the lengths that you're taking it while still being in this relationship, that that's to another level of, okay, this is this is something that he needs to know, especially if he's thinking of making a decision like this. Obviously, he's blinded by something.
Ashton:And honestly, you're doing your friend a favor because once you get married and divorced, you're settled in. You you change your life based on your partner. Divorce is so difficult. It's just not gonna end well no matter what for either party. So you're really doing the best thing for both of them.
Malachi:Yeah. I completely agree. I feel like even in the setting to where she even said no to the marriage proposal, I feel like that's gonna hurt him even more because he went on and bought the ring. He went out and talked to her family about it. He went out and did all this planning to where she's been being unfaithful the entire time, and and taking it to those lengths.
Malachi:So
Ashton:Yeah. And do you really wanna marry him if you're cheating on on him like that? Is that really who you wanna be with?
Malachi:Yeah. I completely agree.
Ashton:Apparently not. Because you know not. You know if you're cheating like that, he's gonna break up with you if he finds out. That's how that is. So if you're willing to take that risk, you must not really wanna be with them.
Malachi:And, honestly, the what from what I see in the story, the recurring, hooking up with the ex regularly means that if he did break up with you, that's who you're running back to. You've already somewhat created that foundation so that you have a rebound. Worst come to worst, and you kinda create a safety place for yourself. So
Ashton:Yeah. And being so controlling over him like that, it's insane. And I think healthy.
Malachi:It's not healthy at all. And I think, to me, it's interesting. Most oftentimes, I've seen well, I can't say specific stories, but I've seen scenarios and things to where people who are cheating are the one who has that much control because they don't trust themselves, so they don't trust you as well. So
Ashton:check out our pleasure principle. February events all about what is it? Healthy relationships Yes. And sexual health.
Malachi:Yes. Healthy relationships. And so make sure you get the chance to check there out. We have great tips for couples, to get better at being in a relationship and to grow themselves, in their sexual interest as well. So
Ashton:Okay. So I'm gonna get into the next story. I told my friend that her boyfriend is cheating on her, and she doesn't believe me. How can I show her I'm telling the truth?
Malachi:What do you mean she doesn't believe you? Like, what?
Ashton:I don't know.
Malachi:Okay. Interesting. I'm intrigued.
Ashton:So recently, I caught one of my friends cheating on my other friend. The girl he is cheating on her with is a part of our friend group as well. I wrote a post here about the situation because I was unsure if I should tell my friend or stay out of it. I ended up deciding to tell her, and I gotta say, it went pretty badly. Honestly, I expected her to call her boyfriend and be mad at him, but instead, she doesn't believe me.
Ashton:Can you believe that? Like, why would I lie? She accused me of wanting to split them up and tried to turn it around on me. I told her I was 1000% sure that I saw what I saw and that I had no reason to lie, but she literally refuses to believe me. I have no idea what to do.
Ashton:How can I get her to believe me? Apparently, both her and her boyfriend and the other friend are denying anything ever happened, and they are blaming me.
Malachi:Wow. So I think that she didn't do anything wrong, and I think the friend just doesn't wanna admit the truth. And I think part of her, I guess, should have thought about the friend not believing her when she thought about getting ready to tell her the story. Like, you I think she's somewhat maybe should have known that, like, of course of course, the boyfriend and the other friend is not just gonna be like, yep. You're right.
Malachi:We are. Like, they're they're going to continue to deny it. And so I feel like I hope she had evidence when she went and told her, and it wasn't just word-of-mouth because word-of-mouth is definitely gonna be very questionable for the girl to believe it.
Ashton:Yeah. But was she wrong for telling her friend, though?
Malachi:No. I think she's I think she's in the right, especially if you feel like you have the evidence and that, like, you really believe it. I feel like it's much better for you to tell then for a month or so later, they break up, and the friend's like, oh my goodness. I found like he was cheating on me the whole time. And she's like, yeah.
Malachi:I kinda thought that, but I wasn't sure, so I didn't wanna tell you. Like
Ashton:Yeah. So what is the next steps? How do you deal with this moving forward?
Malachi:I think, honestly, the way I would handle it is I would try to talk to the friend. If the friend does feel that passionate that I'm not telling the truth, then I think at that point, the friend is more coming from my character. And at that point, if you're coming from my character, then why would you even wanna be my friend? And so at that point, I would probably just end the friendship. I would just go my separate ways.
Malachi:Obviously, that friendship group has a lot of things going on if those are going on in the background. And then me and this friend are now beefing because I'm trying to help her out and make sure that she's not getting done dirty, in front of our face. Because if it is the other friend, I'm sure there's some talks of, like, how does she not recognize that this is going on if there's multiple people in the friendship group that are able to see that these 2 have this thing going on. So
Ashton:Yeah. I think it's a shame that her friend doesn't believe her. But I think at that point, I don't know that I would end the relationship or the friendship, but I would definitely kinda stay out of it from here on out. Like, I told you I did my part. I'm trying to help you out.
Ashton:You don't wanna see it. Hopefully, eventually, she'll come around, but there's nothing else you can really do.
Malachi:Yeah. I mean, you're right. There really isn't anything else that you can do. The best thing that you can do, like you're saying, if you still wanna be in the friendship is just let her know then, okay. Don't don't come to me with it then because I've I've let you know what I think it is and, what you see it to be.
Malachi:And if if you don't think that he is, then you kinda have to take your make your bed and lay in it. So I'm gonna get into another story. This story is titled, my boyfriend is cheating on me, but doesn't see it.
Ashton:What do you mean? Like, how do you not see it? No. Cheating is cheating.
Malachi:No. For real. But let's get into it. My boyfriend, 25 male, and I have been together for almost 5 years. This girl named Rachel and my boyfriend, John, have been close since the beginning of our relationship.
Malachi:The first time John and I had an issue was a few months into our relationship when Rachel confessed to him that she loved him. He turned her down, and they continued their friendship, and she moved out of the state. A few months after John and his a few months after, John and his best friends went on a road trip near where Rachel lived. They were all hanging together at their hotel, and Rachel asked if she could stay with them for the night so she didn't have to drive back tired. The hotel had 2 queen-size beds, and John's best friend didn't wanna share a bed with Rachel.
Malachi:So the best friend and Rachel both convinced John that I wouldn't mind if John and Rachel shared a bed, so they did. I definitely would have said no. Then she moved back a year or so later and started going to the gym we go to. John and I have different workout splits, but we still work out at the same time. She started following his workout split and joining in on his workout periodically.
Malachi:I even caught her touching and flirting with him multiple times. I asked John to talk to her to set boundaries because it made me uncomfortable, but it continued and got worse, and I found out later that he never talked to her about it. It went from just at the gym to hanging out at her house. He was going over there often. He stopped asking if he could go over there and would lie about it too.
Malachi:He even canceled our plans to hang out with her once. Is this cheating? Am I overthinking this? He says they're not physically involved and just friends, but I don't know at this point.
Ashton:Girl, no. Break up with him. Are you kidding me? Break up with him.
Malachi:Yeah. That's crazy.
Ashton:You're out of your mind.
Malachi:That's crazy.
Ashton:Honestly, like, my first thought, like, it just kept getting worse and worse.
Malachi:No. It did.
Ashton:I was at the beginning. I was like, are you kidding me? A girl confesses love and he's still friends with her? That was my first, like, there's no way. And then it just kept getting progressively worse.
Malachi:Then the trip
Ashton:You're out of your mind. You slept in another bed. You're done.
Malachi:Yeah. That's crazy. I'm not gonna lie. That's really crazy. So I mean, another bed with another girl, especially one that at one point told you that she loved you.
Malachi:Yeah. That's wild.
Ashton:And why do you even wanna do that?
Malachi:That's a fact. That's a good point.
Ashton:So break up with him.
Malachi:I agree.
Ashton:What do you mean you don't see it? He's gaslighting you.
Malachi:Oh, for sure.
Ashton:Like, you're out of your mind. You know that's inappropriate. And Everybody in their right mind knows that.
Malachi:I completely agree. I completely agree. And I think the thing that's even crazier to me when I was first reading this, I was like, oh, I would've switched the gym when I realized that they're on the same gym split. But then I'm like, there were so many issues in this story long even before we get to the gym part of it, like, before she even moved back to the state. And I completely agree.
Malachi:Right when she tells you that she loves you, you should not still be friends. As much as you maybe feel like you can hold that level of friendship and make sure that you keep that there, there's a certain level that I'm sure she's flirting. She's doing other things. And because you don't see the feelings, you're not bothered by it, but it's easy for somebody else on the outside to see what's going on and be able to tell that, oh, yeah. That girl you're just passively waiting until you and your girl not saying that that's what he's doing, but him and his girl were to end.
Malachi:And then that's an easy, oh, yeah. We're already friends. We've already getting to know each other for so long.
Ashton:But, like, canceling plans with her to hang out with a no. Yeah.
Malachi:That's
Ashton:great. You honestly, like, I'm not trying to be toxic here, but you don't need girlfriends, like, that close to you to the point where, like
Malachi:I agree.
Ashton:Just know.
Malachi:I agree. To the point that you feel the need that you're not even letting your significant other know that you're hanging out with them intentionally, that's a big red flag. And then to the point that you're saying of, like, why isn't she there with y'all? Like, why can't she hang out with y'all What y'all doing that she can't be there?
Ashton:Just now.
Malachi:Yeah. I agree. I agree. For me as a we got out of that real quick. We would've got out of that, ended that.
Ashton:We would've been done Yeah. That's true. Before it even got to that point. And that's the thing. You keep letting him get away with something, get away with it, get away with it, get away with it, it's gonna get progressively worse.
Malachi:Yeah. For sure. 5 years
Ashton:that you should have to, like
Malachi:No. I don't understand.
Ashton:You know,
Malachi:be perfect. But
Ashton:Yeah.
Malachi:I I think that's crazy. 5 years, 5 year relationship, and that's that's what's happening.
Ashton:That's wild. Alright. Well, check out our pleasure principal of things to learn all about sexual health and healthy relationships. We would love to see you here.
Malachi:We got counseling next week. You know? Pop in.
Ashton:Yeah. Make sure you tune in to our next episode with the counseling center.
Malachi:Yeah. We're gonna
Ashton:And there'll be some great resources for students.