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Join James Petrossi in 'Leave the Feed: 30 Days of Disconnect' as he interviews creators and mental health advocates about their journeys, the digital quagmire, and tips to create a healthier relationship with social media.
[00:00:00]
James Petrossi: Hello and welcome to Leave the Feed 30 Days of Disconnect. Today is day 18, and I have with me Ryan Lu, who turns your d Lulu into Tulu and
Ryan Lu: Yes, absolutely. Hi.
James Petrossi: we'll hear more about that. But you know, in talking about the future, you, let's hit the rewind button and talk about your journey as a creator. Like what sparked all this, and like where has this path taken you and where are you today?
Ryan Lu: So actually I have always wanted to be an entertainer and I did everything that I can to make content. I always envisioned myself on Disney Channel. I also really wanted to be a songwriter. So about a decade ago in 2015, I was. 19 years old. At the time, I googled like, how can [00:01:00] I become a songwriter? How can I start writing for artists?
And an article came up that was like, you can do X, Y, Z, but to be honest, if you make a name for yourself, it's gonna be a lot easier for you to get into sessions. So I was like, okay, great. Let's align with that. I started making YouTube videos. I did Vines. I was. Doing like virtual auditions for shows and stuff.
And I honestly had no idea what I was doing whatsoever. I was doing Instagram content and I was trying to figure it out. And then a few years went by. Nothing was really sticking, nothing was really working. And then I decided in 2020 that TikTok was gonna be the one for me. And I was gonna really commit to TikTok.
I quit the job I had at the time 'cause I was too tired from work to make tiktoks. I quit it. I just started making tiktoks about everything in my life and eventually. Videos that I made about manifestation are blowing up for me and I just stuck with it. And I feel like it's a true testament to manifestation being real.
And now I'm here. I just crossed into my sixth year as a creator, which I'm super excited about. 'cause I feel like the lifespan of a lot of content creators is about a year. So I'm really happy that we're [00:02:00] still trucking along.
James Petrossi: That's awesome. Now, what did it feel like to take that plunge of quitting the job and going all in on this? Like how did that feel and how did manifestation play a role in like propelling you forward?
Ryan Lu: It was scary. It was genuinely very scary, but I felt like at the time I was 23 and I felt like I aged out of pursuing my dreams. I thought I was too old. I couldn't compete with the teeny boppers who were like Noah Beck and Addison Ray and Charlie Emilio and all other. TikTok girlies the young people at the time, and I was like five years older than 'em, so I was like, I'm way too old for this, but this is my last shot.
And I remember writing in my journal, like I journal every single day. I'm very, very into it. I'm really happy I did that. But I remember writing in my journal like, okay. This is it. This is my last shot. If I don't try this now, I'm gonna regret forever. I don't wanna work a nine to five. I don't wanna work an office job.
I don't want to do anything like that. I want to entertain, I wanna be in front of a camera. I wanna perform. And I know that's what I wanted. So it felt scary, especially 'cause I felt like I was way too old for it [00:03:00] and I felt like I was gonna give up, but. I remember in that moment in my life, I was in a very low point, like with my mental health.
It was just like either that or nothing. I didn't wanna do anything else. I was like, I'm just gonna give it everything I have to this and just try it out and see where it goes. And even when my TikTok took off for the first time, it was months before I even made money off of it. So like I was still really betting on myself that.
I could build something from it. And it was just, it was scary. But I'm really happy I made the jump and I really would love to encourage everyone to really go after their dreams. 'cause I feel like if I didn't, God knows like where I'd be. And just being able to connect with the people I've connected with, that's always such a gift.
And I feel like the trajectory would've been so different, but it was very scary.
James Petrossi: And how does manifestation become a central theme in everything that you do from content creation hour? A lot of what you do, like how did that manifest or unfold?
Ryan Lu: Well, the manifestation content was doing really well, so I was like, okay, I'll just keep making [00:04:00] more of this 'cause it's already doing well. I kept making a lot of manifestation videos. I shifted into astrology, tarot, spirituality, affirmations, but it always lands back to manifestation for me. 'cause I feel like manifestation is not just speaking things into existence, but going after your dreams and acknowledging that there are things that you wanna do of your life that are bigger than what you might be doing right now.
That there are things that you wanna attract into your life. And for me, I do say I manifested my career and my life that I'm living right now. But on top of that, it's also being able to go after it, setting those goals. 'cause it's not just like. Okay, I'm gonna manifest blowing up on TikTok. It's like, well, what do you have to do for that?
You have to put the work in, you have to make the videos, you have to be like smart, strategic about it as well. And I think without that intention of, let's say, blowing up on TikTok, for example, like how are you gonna, how are you gonna start making motions towards it? I think manifestation, everyone.
Manifest whether they even realize it or not. It's pretty much having those goals and then starting to move towards those goals. And that's kind of what I did. That's what I do now. That's what I'm actively doing now with my next aspirations and next things I [00:05:00] want to do.
James Petrossi: Yeah, I love the power of intention and when we use it, everything starts unfolding before our eyes because we become active participants in that journey. Now your journey. like you go through these first few months, you're not making any money. You're pouring your heart into this. I'm sure it feels good. But then as you start to gain some levels of fame on TikTok, what is that like for you psychologically and how have you handled the ebbs and flows of metrics and being a creator and inside this topsy-turvy world?
Ryan Lu: It's so complicated. My relationship with being a creator is very complicated too, because it really could be so easy for it to impact your mental health, especially how you're perceiving yourself. 'cause at some point, I forfeited. Privacy. I am very much perceived on a large scale all the time. I tell my friends all the time, I write about this in my journal.
I feel hunted, I feel watched. I feel like I lose [00:06:00] a lot of control and narrative about what people think about me and what people say about me, and that's something I kind of just had to accept. That comes with the territory. So that's something I had to kind mourn the loss of, like what I interpret as my privacy.
Where I am right now is like I really try to maintain that privacy still within my life. I like to keep things for myself. I like to hold things close to my heart, but at the same time it's like. With what I do and with how public facing everything I do is it's something that I have to be okay with parting ways with, and then also with the metrics and the statistics and everything in numbers, like social media is such a numbers game, and that could really consume you, could destroy you.
I know when I first started, my first few months, I would post a video and refresh. I would just stay and refresh, refresh the comments, refresh the likes, refresh on my views, and I would just spend all day watching that and doing that. And it was just so bad for me. And at one point I decided. I'm never looking at my stats.
I still don't look at my stats, like whenever people request any stats or any numbers for me. I just don't look. Sometimes I'll like glance at my page and I'll be like, oh, this is doing so great. I didn't even realize. Or I definitely notice when [00:07:00] my follower account goes up, but I'm not trying to harp on it or make it like my higher power.
I wanna just create from an authentic place, I wanna say things that feel right to me. I wanna reassure people in the way that I would wanna be reassured. But when you let numbers get involved, then it can really take your mental health and then it can also really influence your content. So for me. Just completely ignore it.
Like I try not to look at it whatsoever. Like it's really important for me to not burn out. And if I am looking at that, I could burn out. I could feel discouraged, I could feel anxious and like I have to talk this one, or I have to do this. Then it is so much more free just to be and do. And I feel like keeping that mindset is why I actually am still creating content too.
James Petrossi: I love that idea of not making social media your higher power, but you're letting a higher power work through you and you're helping a lot of people. So tell me about that, the impact that you feel from helping others and sharing positive messages. How has. Your digital community come back to you and let you up [00:08:00] inside.
Ryan Lu: I love that so much. Everything I do is literally for my followers, my audience, my community, and I've been saying this since day one. I've always promised myself like no matter how many messages I get, no matter how many people reach out, I will always make an effort to respond to every single person just to connect with them.
'cause at the end of the day. My platform is about connection and it's about growing that connection. I want people to feel like they're seen, they're heard, they're validated, and a lot of what I say and a lot of what I do and a lot of the content I post are things that I need to hear, the reassurance that I need as well.
So being able to find people who are like-minded and people who also want to encourage me as I encourage them. I feel like that itself is like the greatest gift I could ask for, especially through everything that comes with this industry in the creator economy.
James Petrossi: Now let's go to the topic of today, which is the future self, and setting a vision for that and making sure that you're following through on it. Now, you've talked a little bit about the power of intention. You've [00:09:00] talked about journaling, but. What advice would you have for someone that feels stagnant, that feels stuck?
Maybe they can't go after their dream, they're afraid to make that leap. Or maybe they're just depressed down isolated and need to be picked up and need to be reawaken and like shook back into this world. How can manifestation help them?
Ryan Lu: The first thing I would tell anyone who might be experiencing that is we're taking it day by day. And if it's, if today it's just like maybe getting out of bed that's already good enough and we shouldn't put, you know, timelines or expectations on how we're gonna achieve our dreams. And I feel like when it comes to manifestation, and for people who might be in that.
Space where they're not feeling the most encouraged by it when it comes to manifest, manifesting manifestation, I just think it's like, what do you really, really have to lose at that point? To like say, I want this thing, and that itself is already the first step. It really comes down to the intention. So it could be hard.
It could definitely be hard. That's where [00:10:00] I was in 2020 before I started my content. I was literally at probably one of the lowest points in my life. Like just it was dark. I was like, I didn't really know what to do with my life. I know all I wanted was pretty much this, that I'm living right now, but I didn't know how to get there.
And yeah, you just take it day by day. And I would also encourage, like leaning into community, finding things that make you feel empowered. Finding things that kind of show you that life is so much more. And then also like as you keep yourself around that it can also help shift your mindset too. So really baby steps.
And then when it comes to manifesting, just intention, it doesn't have to be a giant ritual. It doesn't have to be complicated. It doesn't have to be crazy. It could just be like. I'm manifesting making like X amount of money this month, or I, I'm gonna make this amount of money this month, or this miracle is gonna happen for me.
And even just saying it, even if you don't believe it, the more you repeat it, eventually you're gonna believe it. Eventually you're gonna start aligning with it. Something's gonna shift in the universe. You are gonna start shifting to move, to move towards that goal. And I think that's kind of like [00:11:00] really the basis of being able to create and being able to manifest.
And it really can help, but. There's never any pressure or expectation for anyone to be like, I'm doing this wrong. I need to do it differently. 'cause it just makes it harder for you, especially if you're in, in a dark place like that. Just like beginning and trying. It's always good enough. Mm-hmm.
James Petrossi: I was listening to a recent podcast that you hosted and you were talking about sometimes I am manifesting and sending out these messages and I really just don't like, feel like it, but I bring myself to do it. Like I bring myself to do it and how? Is it important for all of us who are chasing our dream to instill that belief system on a daily basis, if not hourly basis, to make sure that we don't lose sight of what we're going after and get sucked down into the subconscious mind and all the threats that lie there.
Ryan Lu: I mean, it really does come down to intention. And just for anyone listening, if anyone's like experiencing. This or experiencing like that weight. It's also just knowing that you are completely [00:12:00] valid to feel that way. Like there is no expectation for you to be positive and empowered all the time. It's something we wanna work towards.
It's something that we wanna feel. Like some days I don't feel great and I don't try to force myself not to feel great. But what I do try to do is the affirmations, the act of repeating these good things. 'cause again. It's simple, it's quick, it's easy. And also the more you do it, you're just gonna start aligning.
You're gonna start believing it. It's also like creating a good habit for yourself. Like do it for 21 days straight and watch how your mindset shifts as well. And you're gonna have off days and that's totally okay. And you shouldn't penalize yourself for having those off days. You should just let yourself be.
It's long as you're working towards it. And again, this is like what I mean about like the day to day thing. Take so much pressure off of yourself instead of being like. A lot of us look at the big picture where we're like, we envision like this big house and whatever people are manifesting. I don't want a big house personally, but like, you know, whatever people want, whatever people want, they envision it.
They have this expectation for it, but it's not always necessarily jumping to that. It's just like, okay, let's take out the baby [00:13:00] steps to get there. And I think when you take the pressure off of yourself, it's so much easier to achieve.
James Petrossi: Yeah, when you take that pressure off, it becomes a lot more spiritually focused. Like what's right for the core of me, for the essence of me, like what am I yearning to bring into this world as opposed to like, what do I want out of this world? And how do you balance, the material nature of comparison, social media, everything wrapped up in that ecosystem with like the spiritual side of life and connecting with Ryan and, and those moments that you have, you know, for yourself.
Ryan Lu: Gratitude, like genuinely, I always say this, gratitude breeds more things to be grateful for. So no matter where you are, just being grateful for the present moment, even if you're struggling, even if you're dealing something, even if you don't understand, just finding. A moment to say, I'm thankful to be alive.
I'm thankful for this. I'm thankful for this thing I love, and then more things will start adding to that list. I think when you're being mindful and you're being really grounded with where you are in life and you're trying to be [00:14:00] intentional about noticing the good things, even through the darkness, that really helps you.
Open yourself up to receiving more good things and letting your life kind of expand from there. I've seen this happen to my followers, my community over the past few years. I see it happen with myself every day. Even when it's challenging, you know, you still want to be grateful. Like on my hard days, I still want to say thank you, God for this.
Like no matter what it is, it could be. Simple. It doesn't even matter. It's just like, just try to be grateful. And I think that's gonna be the thing that opens the path for you to continue moving forward too. And again, it's a day by day thing.
James Petrossi: It is such a day by day thing, and even if we can find gratitude in the smallest piece of nourishment we're putting in our stomach a
Ryan Lu: A hundred percent. Like I'm grateful for this coffee. Like it doesn't have to be crazy, you know?
James Petrossi: Yeah, those simple acknowledgements just make you realize there's so much more to acknowledge in the world around you. I know you're really grateful for your community, and you're [00:15:00] putting out great content.
Ryan Lu: Thank you.
James Petrossi: Like, what's the future of what you want to bring into this world and where do you see your future self unfolding?
Ryan Lu: I wanna connect in different ways, and I think the next way that I want to connect is on a larger scale. So I'm doing my podcast right now, which I feel like lets my audience see. A different side of me as well. And also become more a little, a little more intimate. But I think what I immediately wanna do, and a big goal I have for this next year, is to put out music and also connect with people through the music.
And I'm hoping that's gonna be another very fulfilling project for me. 'cause I think the core of everything I do, it's about my community, it's about my audience, it's about the people who surround me, who empower me, that I wanna empower. And I feel like music is such a unifying. Thing. It's just so much more powerful.
It's so much bigger than all of us, and I feel like that's where I want to go next. So I've been working on a lot of music. I've been writing for artists, I've been writing for myself. I'm gonna start being intentional about putting that out. [00:16:00] And I think that's kind of like what's the most exciting thing in my life right now.
That's what I'm grateful for right now. The opportunity to be able to create in different aspects and I wanna entertain in more avenues as well. I wanna act, I want to. Make people feel a type of way, whether that means they feel seen or they feel entertained, or they laugh or they feel like they can relate, whatever it is, like a huge goal of mine is to have people feel something from something I'm doing.
James Petrossi: That's beautiful. That just warmed my heart. It gave me like heart bumps all over my body.
Ryan Lu: Oh, I love that.
James Petrossi: goops, goose bumps, friendly. buddy, the
Ryan Lu: okay. I love that. Yeah. I, I really love hearing that. That's good too. Like, it's been super lovely being able to connect with you as well. Like I, I really do love connection. Like, I feel like, I never wanna say like I'm a people person 'cause I feel like I'm not. But then at the end of the day, it's like I care a lot about people.
I care a lot about strangers. I care a lot about how people are feeling. And I feel like if I can contribute to that in any way. To make them feel good or positive. And [00:17:00] even on the opposite spectrum, polarizing, I also don't mind being polarizing whatsoever if people feel a different side of that and they feel passionately on the opposite direction about me.
I'm also kind of okay with that too, as long as people are feeling this type of way.
James Petrossi: Unfortunately, there's a lot of. Darkness inside social media. So when there are people with negative comments or hurtful comments, how have you learned to handle those? Brush them off and like stay in the light and not get dragged down by what other people are saying.
Ryan Lu: Yeah, that could be really hard. I've had a lot of moments throughout my career online the past few years where. I felt targeted, I felt very attacked. I felt very like people were hunting me. And I think what really takes me out of those situations, and it's so simple and it sounds so like, duh, but it's not as intuitive as people, as people think.
But it's like quite literally just like putting the phone down and like stepping outside, taking a walk. 'cause then I remember in 2022 I had like a really big barrage of just hate comments and people saying like. [00:18:00] Horrible offensive things to me and X, Y, Z, and I didn't know how to handle it. I've never experienced anything like that at the time, but I had to walk my dog, and when I was walking my dog, I can't be on my phone and trying to pay attention.
And every time I walked my dog, I was just like, all of that just stopped. I was like, all the noise stopped. I didn't see any messages, no one's bothering me in person. And then I was like, it really is just like knowing that you can just turn it off and eventually it'll pass. And I think. Stepping outside, touching grass, being in the sun, doing things that ground you in the real world when you're experiencing things like that, that makes the difference that you need.
Especially like when you're dealing with that darkness and it does exist and it's, you know, hard to navigate. And it's hard to avoid too. It's the internet, but you know, you do what you can and whatever makes sense for you. So that means like reading a book or listening to music or just like disconnecting, it's whatever you need to do.
James Petrossi: What do you think some of the triggers have been [00:19:00] for you inside social media? Aside from the, the hurtful comments like the triggers when you realize I need to take a break, touch some grass, like disconnect from all of this and like release myself. When does it happen to you?
Ryan Lu: Comparison, I would say when I see other content creators, I don't watch content myself at all, because I find myself comparing myself to them where I'm like, okay, how many followers do I have? Am I bigger than them? Am I performing better than them? Am I doing better than them? And it's just like, it's so insidious and dangerous to follow that path.
'cause at the end of the day, we're all really on our own individual pastors and really no need to compare. And I feel like everyone's success is their own. If there's room for everyone to eat, there's enough room at the table. I feel like that's something that I've been struggling with. Maybe not actually recently, but I would say for the past few years I would get really, really like fixated on a person or a creator, and I'd be like, well, how are they doing?
Like, what are they doing differently? Dah, dah, dah. Or like, and, and if I'm doing better than them, then I'd be like, I'm [00:20:00] doing better than them. Like I'm doing, like I'm so much more successful. And it's just like, it's not. A healthy path, and that's when it really is like, okay, time to log off, time to call a friend, time to do anything else than be consumed by this.
James Petrossi: It's such. Normal thing, right? To compare. And I think when we think about manifestation and the lives we wanna create, easy to look at someone else and say like, I want that, you know, I want that life. Whether it's an athlete, someone in culture, whoever. Right. But how does something like journaling help you connect with yourself to understand more about. What your path could be or, or what brings joy to you or what you wanna bring to the world? Like how does that practice help instill those internal values to you?
Ryan Lu: I am the biggest advocate for journaling that I think anyone will ever meet. I love my journal. I've been journaling for the past decade every single day, and I love seeing my journey in the journal like being like, I really want this, [00:21:00] but I'm scared too. I'm doing it now too. I succeeded in this, and that's reassuring itself, seeing difficult situations I was in.
Seeing how I got through it, seeing how I'm past it now, and then also just I think life is so worth remembering. I think everyone's life is worth remembering. Anytime I meet anyone, I'm like, do you journal? Please journal. You should journal. Like talk about your day, talk about what you're feeling. It helps you become more self-aware.
It really does help ground you. 'cause you have to sit there and you have to reflect and you have to think about your thoughts and your feelings and there's no right or wrong way to journal. The way I like to do is like, I like to. You know, write in my journal as if I'm talking to a friend. So I'm like, okay, well here's how I feel about my day.
Here's what I'm scared of. Here's what I'm hopeful for. Here's like what I'm worried about. Here's what I'm doing tomorrow. And it is just, it's nice to reflect. And it's also nice to look back on too, like I, like, I love rereading my old journals and I love writing in my journals. 'cause it also really instills in me that life is worth living.
Life is great. Life is something that you could enjoy and like look back on. So. I think everyone should really journal and it doesn't have to be complicated either. Like [00:22:00] I always tell people if they struggle, if it like sit down, set a timer for five minutes, just write as many thoughts as you ha can, like as you're thinking.
Talk about your day. Doesn't have to be anything complicated, .
James Petrossi: I love that as a tool to strengthen self-awareness. Sometimes we don't realize the conversations that we're having with ourselves and how our subconscious can be a detriment to ourselves, but if we are able to lay it all out there on a page
Ryan Lu: Yeah. And confront it.
James Petrossi: Confront it. Look at it and be like, why? You know, why
Ryan Lu: Yeah, exactly.
James Petrossi: in there, you know?
Ryan Lu: Yeah. And even if they're like complicated emotions or they might be dark thoughts or whatever it is, it's also nice to. Get it out. Like really get it out. Like it doesn't have to just stay trapped up here. You can write it out and then you can be like, okay, there is so much of a release in that too.
Like even if you're just having a hard day, you just need to vent You need to rant, whatever. Like you can definitely call a friend, talk to someone, but also like writing it down helps a lot too. And I also like reading those thoughts where I'm like, yeah, that was a dark place and I'm past that now, or I'm like, I don't feel that way anymore.
Thank God. You [00:23:00] know? I think it's really important to be super candid with yourself and for any self-improvement for anyone on any journey that they're on. Like. Being able to know like, okay, what can I work on? Where can I go from here? How can I get better?
James Petrossi: Yeah, I love putting it out there and, and feeling that disconnection. You really become the observer of yourself instead of living in the impulse zone and letting all of these thoughts impact your behaviors in, in negative ways. Now. Going to the idea of journeys some people are listening to this podcast and they're going through a 30 day disconnection journey from social media. Others are just looking for inspiration from awesome creators like yourself. would you say to anyone, creator or fan that's looking to have a more balanced, healthy relationship with social media? What would be your encouragement for them?
Ryan Lu: Boundaries be really intentional about what, you know, won't trigger you or upset you. For me, for example, like I know a boundary I have is I don't read any of my comments. I don't read my [00:24:00] comments. I know the content I don't want to consume, so I won't allow myself to interact with it. I think if you are someone who wants to find that balance with social media, it really is important that you know what your boundaries are and you enforce 'em because it's so easy to doom scroll, it's so easy to fall into.
It's so easy to participate and just let the algorithm show you how you should be feeling, when really, at the end of the day, you can really dictate what you are consuming. At the end of the day, it's your feed, right? So I think for anyone who is. You know, trying to navigate that and navigate social media, sending those boundaries in, it could be a simple boundary.
Like I'm only gonna scroll x, y, z amount of time. I know for me, like I don't let myself watch tiktoks specifically, and I also only like will read my messages versus like. Any comments or anything else? I try not to, I try not to be aware of what our, whatever else is going on. I also want to be free thinking and form my own opinions and thoughts outside of influence.
'cause at the end of the day, social media is so much influence and what you consume is really feeding your soul and [00:25:00] your mind. So set those boundaries. Be intentional about it. Be clear about what you know you want and what you're not gonna tolerate.
James Petrossi: Any other final parting words of wisdom you'd like to share?
Ryan Lu: I feel like. Life is good. Be be grateful for everything. Like, like I said earlier, gratitude breeds more things to be grateful for. I think something that I find really empowering is every bed before, every night before I go to bed is I do need to say thank you for something. And I feel like I wake up excited and ready for the next day no matter what it is.
And no matter what it might bring the philosophy that every new day could be whatever you want it to be, is empowering for me too. So. I feel like everyone's on their own path and journey, of course, but just knowing that you have so much more control and free will and value that you could bring to your own life than you even know.
You gotta give yourself the power back. And I think that comes through acknowledging your own power. And if that's something that you struggle with, I would really recommend affirmations. Just saying, [00:26:00] I am powerful. Or saying what you want to be saying, what you feel like you are saying, the kind of person that you want to be and repeating it.
Until it really becomes ingrained in you. But give yourself the power back too.
James Petrossi: I love it. I love it. Well, I am. grateful to have had you as a guest. I really appreciate
Ryan Lu: such a joy.
James Petrossi: And for those of you listening, please share, leave the feed with a friend. Don't be afraid to disconnect and have an epic day. Thank you.
Ryan Lu: Thank you so much, James.