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Euron Greyjoy is a dick.
Creators & Guests
What is Popcorn & Plot Holes?
Movies are fun! Movies are awesome! But movies can sometimes be very, very weird... or just plain terrible. In this intersection of fun, awesome, weird and terrible is where Matt, Luciano, Chris and Spencer live and thrive. They'll be watching the latest FACTS (Fantasy, Action, Comic, Thriller, Sci-Fi) movies available on streaming services and sharing their equally awesome, fun, weird and terrible thoughts on them. Welcome to Popcorn & Plot Holes!
Matt (00:01.003)
Hello and welcome back to Popcorn and Plot Holes. I remember the title this week. I'm very proud of myself. Thank you. We watched the movie known in some parts of the world as Project Extraction with an X, no EX, X dash traction. I think that's how it works. Maybe. Specifically in North America or at least Canada where we watch these things, it is Hidden Strike. The.
Chris (00:06.123)
Oh
Luciano (00:06.759)
Very nice.
Chris (00:10.862)
Mmm.
Luciano (00:18.22)
Yeah. Ha ha ha!
Chris (00:18.626)
Pornhub.
Chris (00:22.206)
Hahaha
Matt (00:30.539)
China vehicle I'm gonna call.
Luciano (00:32.866)
Hahaha!
Chris (00:34.46)
That sounds so...
Luciano (00:36.384)
It's the, the China plus John Cena vehicle.
Matt (00:36.527)
Chinese vehicle? I mean, tell me it wasn't.
Matt (00:42.124)
Yeah, we watched it in strike with starring Jackie Chan and John Cena primarily I don't know any of the other actors in the movie by name. We can bring them up as we was he really?
Chris (00:50.867)
lao is in it.
Yeah, from the new Mortal Kombat, Kung Lao, he was... Yes!
Matt (00:55.587)
Ah, not the new one. Get out of here.
Luciano (00:56.244)
Oh man, urine gray joy is in this. He's Owen. Yeah.
Chris (01:00.398)
True. Yes. He's always wearing beard.
Matt (01:00.539)
Oh, that's right, he is. That's where I know him from. Owen looked, anyways, with me, as always, I have Luciano and Chris. Without us, us without him, as always. Spencer, yeah. Yeah, Spencer, our extra special guest Spencer is not here. So it was just the three of us talking about Hidden Strike. Let's dive into this movie because there's no better way to approach it than just.
Chris (01:09.291)
Yo.
Without us? With Innis and without us.
Luciano (01:12.144)
As without him. As always. Decided to be in parts unknown.
Matt (01:30.479)
get whatever we feel off our chests. Full frontal as it were. Hidden Strike is a movie that's uh if you didn't watch it spoilers is about the oil wars. I want to know what were your favorite part of the Hidden Strike project extraction wait it's hidden no project hidden extraction strike i think is the name i'm going with
Chris (01:31.842)
Full frontal. Yes.
Chris (01:39.982)
Hmm... People.
Luciano (01:43.276)
Ha ha ha!
Luciano (01:56.473)
No-
Luciano (01:59.992)
Hidden Project Strike Extraction.
Chris (02:00.302)
from my favorite part was when I realized that, realized Yemen, my favorite part was when I realized that Chris is a terrible soldier and he was largely responsible for his father's death due to his ineptitudes of hand signals. Yes, it was. I'm like, wait a minute, the evidence is stacking. Oh my God, he doesn't know hand signals.
Matt (02:00.303)
What was your favorite part? Yeah, what was your favorite part of this movie? What'd you love? Let's get it out of the way.
Luciano (02:15.803)
That was your favorite part?
Luciano (02:24.14)
My favorite, can I choose the bloopers at the end as my favorite part? Because I, there were actually, they were actually funny.
Chris (02:28.618)
There were bloopers? Dad, daddy had to get back to work.
Matt (02:30.457)
Yeah, I got it.
Luciano (02:36.917)
Yeah, that were I mean if that's not valid I think I think it was watching John Cena and Jackie Chan play catch with each other. I was so dumb it was funny.
Chris (02:37.026)
Gosh darn.
Chris (02:50.35)
Hmm. Why are you in the desert?
Matt (02:54.379)
Why, because Jackie can't, clearly can't throw a baseball? I don't know why.
Luciano (02:56.728)
Yep. For someone who is as, as like dexterous and agile as he is, I have no idea how he cannot throw a ball to save his life. Yes.
Chris (03:01.806)
But Depth Correct. Yes.
Matt (03:07.927)
Well, it feels like he's never throwing a thing if he can't throw the ball.
Chris (03:08.493)
I think he was gone.
But he's done that, it's part of his style. He throws things all the time. He throws ladders and chairs. But that was spherical. It needed, I think maybe that's his weakness, spherical objects.
Matt (03:16.96)
Not well based on what I saw.
Luciano (03:17.248)
Yeah...
Matt (03:23.167)
No, guy. You throw a javelin or a spear, it's the same arm motion, it's just when you let go of it. But he was like, the arm motion was, I don't know how to explain it, he was basically not using his arm, he was just using his elbow to his wrist.
Luciano (03:36.76)
Yeah, it's like it's when you ask someone to throw something to you and they've never done it or they have to do with the wrong hand That's what it felt like he was doing
Matt (03:45.003)
Yeah. Maybe he was throwing with his wrong hand. For camera reasons.
Chris (03:45.358)
Hmm.
Chris (03:49.058)
Hmm
Luciano (03:49.624)
He's Jackie Chan, he shouldn't have a wrong hand.
Chris (03:53.307)
All hands are the weapons.
Luciano (03:54.676)
Yeah!
Matt (03:56.351)
Okay, I mean those are both great answers that tells you how much we love this movie. To me, the best part of this movie... Um... Well, okay, so there was the scene where they did that... Mmm... I mean... Mmm... I don't think John Cena and... Uh... No, I was gonna say... I don't... John Cena and Jackie Chan... Oh, okay, the best scene of this movie is John Cena and Jackie Chan's chemistry. But...
Luciano (04:00.344)
What's your favorite part?
Chris (04:02.098)
Yes.
Luciano (04:13.14)
Hahaha
Chris (04:13.474)
Show your work.
Matt (04:25.763)
The reason why I hesitate to say it is, it just made me miss rush hour.
Chris (04:29.806)
Hmm
Luciano (04:29.96)
Yeah, fair, fair. And it's also pretty forced in places, right? The first time they have the little banter, it's kind of like, what's happening? Like, I know both of these guys are charming, guys. What is happening with this scene?
Chris (04:35.726)
True, true.
Chris (04:41.166)
When they're being fired at, that's from the French? Why is it not happening now?
Luciano (04:48.021)
Yeah.
Matt (04:48.275)
Was it when John Cena was trying to like be all disgusting about his daughter, but it just made me cringe externally and internally?
Luciano (04:56.undefined)
Well, if you remembered the bloopers, he's way more disgusting about her there. I actually laugh my ass off in there. Like I just... I just go in there. I call it a reverse motor motorboat and...
Matt (05:02.318)
He is.
Chris (05:05.806)
When did y'all have time to watch the bloopers?
Matt (05:07.964)
You just continue past the end.
Chris (05:12.833)
I didn't expect there to be one, but okay, got it, got it. I'm glad you guys.
Matt (05:15.555)
That's how you learn at the end of the movie they went and Project Hidden Strike extracted all the ships they got away with the oil
Chris (05:24.59)
Hmm the more you learn
Luciano (05:24.74)
Somehow, somehow. Also, when they finally finish like getting the water back to the village and his crew comes back, it looks like the cover of like a K-pop musical piece or something. They're all aligned in V, yeah. It's so dumb. Actually here, okay, let me get this out of the way.
Matt (05:40.039)
Oh yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah, they're all flying via it. Yeah.
Chris (05:43.49)
BTS!
Matt (05:53.712)
Okay, uh oh. Wait, sorry, should we just put a little bumper? Well, actually, was Luciano.
Luciano (05:54.209)
Is this movie?
Luciano (05:59.144)
Yeah, sure. Yeah. No, no, it's not. Well, maybe we'll get to that. But I have a question. Is this movie just the movie version of some unknown 90s video game that we don't know about? Because think about it. The way the plot was established, right, a Chinese oil refinery in the Middle East, where in the Middle East nobody knows, is being attacked by quote unquote
Chris (06:01.556)
Mm. Lean into it.
Chris (06:13.778)
Hmm?
Chris (06:27.342)
Hmm.
Luciano (06:28.04)
escalating oil wars, whatever those are, and then they were pleased from someone to someone to rescue the refinery workers and they have to go through the highway of death to get into the green zone. I guess they're gonna start playing sonic when they get to the fucking green zone.
Chris (06:31.552)
Mmm.
Chris (06:44.89)
Mm. Diddle-diddle-diddle-diddle-diddle-diddle.
Matt (06:45.303)
Yes.
Luciano (06:48.108)
And then there's like a private security, a private security team that volunteered for the job. I don't understand. Is this just a plot of a 90s video game that someone decided to make into a movie?
Chris (06:55.094)
Dung dung dung.
Matt (07:00.012)
It's
Chris (07:00.21)
It's a plot from the 80s that someone made a video game to.
Matt (07:03.944)
better. I haven't played any of the Metal Gear Solid, I assume this was just another Metal Gear Solid.
Luciano (07:09.456)
He's a ripoff, just a ripoff, yes.
Chris (07:09.898)
You sir, watch your mouth and put some respect on Metal Gear. Big Boss will slapeth thee with a white glove.
Matt (07:12.319)
Hehehe
Matt (07:16.635)
Did Kojima make this movie? Did I miss him directing it somehow? I mean... Hmm... Ha ha ha.
Chris (07:19.798)
Kojima would never make this movie. Yo, no, no. Kojima, yo. Put some respect on Hideo. Shame on all of you.
Luciano (07:21.481)
Maybe it was... no, come on, come on. I didn't see anybody hiding beneath boxes, but...
Luciano (07:33.308)
I haven't played any of the Metal Gears either.
Matt (07:37.391)
This is when you... Where's Spencer when you need him? He would have backed you up I assume. He plays Sony games. Secondary answer that if Chris won't accept my Metal Gear Solid answer. I'm going to go with is this the true... the... you know the... the true... what is it? It's like the behind the scenes of Desert Storm. Is this Desert Storm was actually about?
Luciano (07:41.709)
He would have, yeah.
Chris (07:42.034)
Yes, he would go. It's spirit, he does.
Luciano (07:48.465)
Hahaha
Chris (08:03.078)
Out.
Matt (08:04.185)
for what happened on this day.
Luciano (08:05.226)
for some like...
Chris (08:06.642)
I will sooner accept that over Metal Gear, sir. You can have that.
Matt (08:09.716)
Okay, fair enough.
Luciano (08:10.328)
No, it could have been Kojima with like a COVID fever writing this.
Matt (08:16.091)
OK, we're back. We're back to Kojima. Fair enough.
Chris (08:16.746)
What? No! Let it go.
Luciano (08:17.444)
Hahaha!
Matt (08:23.115)
Okay, we're gonna move on. We asked what your favorite scenes, hard to come by if we're honest. We have a couple of plot holes we're gonna cover that if we're honest, if I'm honest with everybody, looking at them, it's about one half to two thirds of the entire movie, give or take. So it's a little tricky to, yeah, it's a little tricky to talk around it. We'll try to talk around it. So it's a Jackie Chan movie, Jackie Chan.
Luciano (08:23.202)
Yeah.
Luciano (08:30.252)
Yes.
Luciano (08:42.133)
Hahaha!
Chris (08:43.554)
Yeah, this movie was over quick, son.
Matt (08:52.415)
Famously, I can't say if he did it in this movie, did stunts, all of his own stunts, all the action scenes. How do you feel about the action in this movie?
Luciano (09:03.096)
I was disappointed, I have to say.
Chris (09:04.822)
Yeah, I don't think, and I don't know, I don't feel like I can blame Jackie. I feel like he was present. I feel like they let him down. Like the action, it felt watered down.
Luciano (09:08.887)
No.
Matt (09:18.359)
Well how old is Jackie Chan right now? Because that might be part of the problem.
Luciano (09:21.1)
Good question. Let me see.
Chris (09:22.954)
I don't know, but from that bubble scene, the bubble bath in club Circa scene, shout out to my peeps listening in the six, he was fine. And even scaling the oil refinery exterior ladders and pipes and stuff like that, he seemed fine. Honestly, it didn't look like he had that much fighting, more acrobatics to me.
Matt (09:26.457)
The bubble bath fight? Hahaha. Yeah.
Luciano (09:28.788)
Hahaha!
Luciano (09:45.092)
He's 69 by the way.
Matt (09:50.615)
Are you saying he didn't have a stump dub- a stunt double at any point in this movie?
Chris (09:57.13)
He could have had it, but at the same time, whether he did or didn't, I don't think there was enough fighting material up until scribble face, tramp stamp, cyclops, graffiti. God damn it, my name is Knox. Nah, that was gold.
Matt (09:58.571)
Yeah.
Luciano (10:06.608)
to fight with graffiti. Graffiti, yeah.
Matt (10:08.331)
I mean that's fair right until we got to Knox graffiti um until we got I don't know about that um he you did you um okay um so yeah you're right you're actually right Chris like we didn't get Jackie Chan to go Jackie Chan until like the last third of the movie
Luciano (10:18.2)
AHHHHH
Chris (10:23.298)
Gold-Covered Shit.
Luciano (10:24.64)
Okay, better. Shit covered gold.
Chris (10:27.499)
Still stank.
Matt (10:36.939)
until the Nox and the gang showed up in the village to get back the bag and stuff.
Luciano (10:42.176)
Yeah. So that scene was okay. It was a bit exaggerated with like things like breaking and falling and all that shit. They tried, I think they, they try to get some comedy out of those scenes and they let like the attempted comedy get in the way of the, of the fighting. But that, the first scene when, when Jackie and, and John Cena fight is awful.
Chris (10:45.117)
Hmm.
Chris (10:50.102)
You go high, go low, and all that.
Chris (11:00.467)
and signals.
Chris (11:04.27)
Yeah.
Chris (11:09.814)
Yeah.
Luciano (11:10.705)
Awful, awful, awful that scene.
Matt (11:11.699)
Oh no. Well yeah, I don't- that's why I didn't- I didn't even remember that. So, I don't- Hahahaha
Luciano (11:15.06)
Don't even... HAHAHAHAHAHA! Damn! Yeah...
Chris (11:17.833)
Oh, yeah, that says something. That says something.
Matt (11:21.271)
And then they basically have a Martha moment where Jackie J doesn't let his brother's brother, air quotes, body get crushed by whatever the car or whatever he pushed over onto, onto crush Jackie. Forklift, yeah.
Chris (11:24.526)
True.
Luciano (11:28.061)
Yeah.
Chris (11:29.739)
Yeah.
Luciano (11:33.108)
And it's it was it was funny because when Owen kills him, he says, make it look like Chinese payback. And I was like, oh, this is going to be like the whole middle of the movie is going to be John Cena thinking that Jackie Chan killed him and whatnot. Nope. He was. Yeah, yeah. That's what I was expecting. I don't know why I was expecting in this movie, but. What is.
Chris (11:33.294)
Fork, mini forklift. Yeah.
Chris (11:48.502)
That would have been more interesting.
Matt (11:49.932)
Sure.
Chris (11:52.354)
But how does that look? Like, is that valid? Like the Chinese did it. What Owen said, is that valid?
Matt (11:57.207)
Yeah, because they extracted, they project extracted Chinese people from the Dragon's private security team underneath their noses, right? So the private security team would have reprised them by killing Henry, quote unquote. AKA by just putting a generic Chinese body in the room with them.
Luciano (12:02.325)
Hahaha!
Luciano (12:14.868)
I mean, we're gonna get, yeah. Yeah, we're gonna get into this, but like Owen says I'm not an idiot in this movie, but come on, he really is an idiot. We're gonna talk about it. But I think it was just like a throwaway line that didn't go anywhere, much like May, like much like Commander Luo, a dragon.
Chris (12:19.534)
Hmm.
Chris (12:24.526)
true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on son. Come on, bruh.
Matt (12:28.61)
Mm-hmm.
Chris (12:35.758)
Agreed.
Luciano (12:40.624)
uh saying hey may you know this desert come with me in this chopper and fucking don't say a word doesn't say a word
Matt (12:44.776)
You know this desert.
Chris (12:48.143)
You're an engineer, but you're also a car topographer. So come along.
Luciano (12:53.008)
Cartoprop... a cartopropographer whatever that is That's a cartographer The accent on the wrong syllable, yeah
Chris (12:56.366)
It's a map me.
Matt (12:57.851)
Uh, uh, yeah, you got too many syllables. Ha ha
Chris (12:59.662)
photographer Nah, cut topographer my man. I Do not concede
Luciano (13:20.065)
Yeah, and she doesn't say a word other than oh be careful like
Chris (13:23.886)
Mm, yes, Father.
Matt (13:26.863)
She does know where the city that John Cena lives in is.
Luciano (13:30.768)
True. But yeah, sounds about right. Yeah.
Matt (13:31.967)
So that's it, she knows the desert. My guy. Proof.
Chris (13:38.062)
Mmm, still stinks. Still stank. Huba stank. Huba stank!
Luciano (13:41.052)
Yeah. Like also, also like why, why is it called, like why, why did they get those names like Highway of Death and the Green Zone and like what, what is that even?
Matt (13:41.079)
Yeah, you're not happy. Okay.
Matt (13:52.951)
I mean, I'll ask you some questions later. It's a highway of death, I think it's pretty obvious. We're gonna dig into it later. Don't worry, we're gonna answer those questions for people so they understand better. The movie is about oil. Well, it could have been, we don't know. They don't specify, you are correct. The movie, they don't specify a date.
Chris (13:57.454)
Grunge metal inspiration?
Luciano (13:58.283)
Hahaha!
Luciano (14:02.197)
Alright, alright.
Chris (14:09.556)
Mmm, Lorenzo's.
Matt (14:22.807)
So it is, but based on everything going around, it's modern day-ish. Is that fair?
Luciano (14:29.588)
I guess because they have like gadgets and shit.
Chris (14:31.118)
Seems like it.
Matt (14:33.075)
Yeah, like they're able to like the that's right. It's not like it's not like the 90s or the 80s because they wouldn't have been able to like hack the electronics on the
Chris (14:34.478)
True. The jammer.
Luciano (14:37.936)
Oh.
No, they wouldn't have quantum encryption, whatever the fuck that is.
Chris (14:46.218)
Yeah, that was something. Smartphones, so modern day. Yo, yo. So by that logic, oh, it would be like, well, can't you just, can't you, can't we just get, that's why we brought five of you. You're not the only one, then he shoots him. Come on, come over here four guys. But yeah.
Matt (14:48.274)
It's five time encryption. Five times. Quant.
Luciano (14:54.703)
Nice try. Nice try.
Luciano (15:04.512)
Yeah. Owen? I mean, he could have done that because he had aimbot, if you remember him shooting people while looking at the professor.
Matt (15:10.331)
It's true.
Chris (15:14.507)
Hmm.
Matt (15:14.771)
Yeah, that's the best way to do it. He doesn't know how to use the machine gun on the dune buggy, but he could just shoot behind him.
Luciano (15:16.513)
Yeah.
Luciano (15:20.128)
That's true, I forgot about that. How do you work this thing?
Chris (15:21.439)
The no look, the no look cap, okay? The no look strap, clap clap.
Matt (15:26.115)
Yeah, consistently. Yep. No, I mean, that's fair. Okay. So you'll go ahead Chris. Yeah.
Luciano (15:26.805)
Yeah.
Chris (15:31.19)
When did he, mm-hmm, go ahead. I was just gonna say, when did he decide to start, you know, investing in a side hustle, being a fake good guy with Unicorp? Like, what was the point? Why carry on that facade at all and just go all into the dark side, so to speak?
Luciano (15:45.261)
That's true.
I think maybe because he wanted to get on Chris's good graces to have him help him. Maybe that's what it was. No, but no, but I mean the good guy routine. I mean, they say, oh, I would turn on the thing if I could, but it's going to require a hundred thousand dollars. There's no sense of scale in this movie either. Right. At one point, John Cena says, oh, my, you know, we went in there and.
Matt (15:54.167)
Yeah, that makes sense.
Chris (15:54.294)
But Chris didn't know that to me, like that was a shock when Chris found out.
Matt (16:11.126)
Nope, none.
Luciano (16:15.984)
And I and we were trying to extract or do whatever and there was a 48 hour firefight. I'm like, what the fuck? A 48 hour firefight.
Chris (16:27.44)
Get down! You can't see me!
Matt (16:29.903)
That was when John Cena got his dad killed. Yep.
Luciano (16:33.544)
Yeah. All right. According to Chris when he killed him. Basically.
Chris (16:33.93)
Yep, proof positive.
Chris (16:38.798)
Mm-hmm. He killed his dad. He, he, he, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it, it,
Matt (16:42.575)
Yeah.
Luciano (16:46.404)
Think because his dad... Oh, yeah, we're gonna start with this again. Ha ha!
Matt (16:47.067)
Could have been Regicide who is the king.
Chris (16:49.375)
Oh shit.
Yes, because his father was the unofficial member of Run DMC. Down with the king! King, king, king.
Matt (16:59.391)
Yeah, wretched sad is the best side. Moving past, I guess we don't have any time. We have no time slated for this, and I'm just curious to know the crew that Henry assembles. So Henry obviously gets a couple of the crew from Owen. Where did the other, was it two?
Luciano (17:01.818)
No!
Chris (17:08.446)
I'm gonna go.
Chris (17:14.615)
Oh yeah.
Chris (17:23.266)
There was Tomb Raider, Tramp Stamp, Bald Eagle, some other guy that I never saw again, who was like a short haircut. The editor of the video, probably edited all their videos. I never saw him again.
Luciano (17:23.326)
Uh...
Matt (17:26.564)
Baldi go.
Matt (17:32.438)
Yeah.
Luciano (17:32.593)
Oh yeah, that's right!
Luciano (17:39.492)
I forgot about that, you're right. So where did he get those guys? Well, from the circus, I guess, cause they're all fucking clowns. Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Matt (17:44.931)
We got because like they like
Wow, easy there John Cena. Dig it out, nicknames. Insane clown posse. I just like, toothpick? Okay. You'll figure it out. So, I mean, you know what? I don't even wanna ask that question anymore because I really wanna ask what John Cena's role in this movie was. Because we talked previously about the idea that Jackie Chan and John Cena are like kind of funny, but not funny.
Chris (17:50.915)
Dig it.
Chris (17:56.566)
Toothpick, he called him toothpick. There's a double meaning that he said. You'll figure it out. What the?
Luciano (17:59.401)
Toothpick, yeah. Yeah.
Luciano (18:09.456)
I'm going to go to bed.
Matt (18:16.631)
And it popped in my head that one of the challenges to me is Jackie Chan is good at slapstick comedy and John Cena is good at like dumb guy comedy. And together they're like the worst mix. You need someone to be a straight man. You know, when you think of like watching Hobbs and Shaw, like The Rock is the funny man and Shaw is the straight guy, right? And so it works. But here you have them both being annoyed, but both being idiots.
Chris (18:27.744)
and
Luciano (18:40.185)
Yeah.
Matt (18:45.955)
and it doesn't mesh or connect well in my estimation.
Chris (18:52.035)
and you know where it all fell apart. I can do this very quickly. Two word, one word actually, seatbelt.
Matt (18:56.077)
Okay, great.
Matt (19:01.297)
Oh god, yes.
Luciano (19:02.364)
Oh, I had fallen apart way before then. It was all fallen.
Chris (19:02.93)
It all fell apart. But even more so like they were exchanging. It was like a quick hot potato of silly straight South straight silly. It just it would do it all said.
Matt (19:05.985)
Hahaha
Luciano (19:17.392)
Yeah, like it's interesting because I did get like some laughs in there with their interactions, but I'm pretty sure those were the ad lib stuff. I think the stuff that was in the script was where the cringe was. That was like the whole nickname thing was like weapons grade Omega cringe. I wanted to jump out of my own skin watching it.
Chris (19:42.966)
No, my body doesn't want this.
Matt (19:43.545)
Yeah. John Cena has charisma, but that's not the way to use it. No. Yeah.
Chris (19:47.522)
Riz.
Luciano (19:47.784)
Not acting not and not acting. Yeah. Yeah, I wrote it down when I was writing my notes. I was like, okay He's a charming dude, but terrible actor
Matt (19:56.469)
Yeah.
Chris (19:57.174)
He's good at comedy. This is not his best work, that's for sure. He's better in other things. And honestly, so is Jackie. So I don't think it's them. It comes down to the, I think the writing and then what was, and then the scenarios. Cause if it was action, like, I think there's more to it.
Matt (20:00.672)
No, I think that's fair.
Luciano (20:02.07)
Yeah.
Luciano (20:09.664)
Yeah, I think it's the writing.
Matt (20:16.483)
I don't know. It's like, the problem is like, the writers didn't create the lack of action in the movie, right? And like the action sequences of the movie are like, you're always trying to do something that's cool and imaginative, you know, and it's like, they forced the bubble bath party, which is, it's just, it was just weird, right? Like why is there a bubble bath thing in the oil refinery?
Chris (20:34.314)
That was... that was weird.
Luciano (20:38.133)
Yeah.
Matt (20:42.551)
You know, they have the, I guess we'll call it action sequence with a jet engine on the back of a armored transport truck. Um, which... It just seems like one big MacGuffin that should not have worked. Um... And, and... Did they? But did they though?
Chris (20:49.986)
Hmm.
Luciano (20:50.363)
Oh, don't get me started on that.
Luciano (20:55.664)
Yeah. But they had some genuinely good ideas, right? Like the fight scene. Yeah. The piece of the fight scene. I'm going to try. So that piece of the fight scene when they were in the refinery where John Cena is in the ground floor and Jackie Chan is up above, and they help each other with the pole and the thing. Let's not get into the.
Matt (21:06.164)
Okay.
Matt (21:16.361)
Yeah.
Chris (21:21.086)
They help each other.
Luciano (21:22.712)
the logistics of why didn't everybody just fucking murder him while he was swinging that thing slowly around but like the idea of him helping yeah but they have knives
Matt (21:30.459)
because they don't have guns.
No, you can't throw any projectile, as Mei told us.
Luciano (21:38.836)
until Noc starts shooting. Then you can. Ah, okay. Those were bubble, like, Styrofoam. Oh, it was a Nerf gun. There, solved. W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W-W
Matt (21:40.759)
That's different. Yeah.
Chris (21:43.055)
Good guy rules.
Chris (21:47.682)
They were woolets. Woolets. Okay, so then if they were nerf bullets, then they were nullets. Nerlets.
Matt (21:49.917)
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Matt (21:55.611)
Okay.
Luciano (22:06.568)
Attempt at comedy and the attempt at fight that like action and fight scenes got in the way of each other and nothing really like actually worked in the end It's like you don't expect to be bored in a in an action movie with Jackie Chan, but I was in the middle, right?
Chris (22:23.338)
It makes sense.
Matt (22:24.579)
It's like, the action's not the worst, but to me it's how they space the action out in the movie. Right, like the start, honestly the start of the movie was like fine, let's get into it. I like a movie that just gets right into the whole thing and doesn't waste any time, right? So you're just like, and you know, like say what you want about the story being, you know, the sterile international story of the year where it's like, there's nothing, nothing is labeled to anything, any corporation. No one can be offended by anything, right? As you said before.
Luciano (22:31.97)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (22:37.085)
I agree. Yeah.
Luciano (22:52.203)
Only Unicorp can.
Matt (22:53.747)
Only Unicorp can be pissed off, that's correct. And so we're into it, it's like, oh, the Chinese company is gonna come extract these people because of the oil wars and someone's attacking them. Great, sure, whatever, let's do this. And then we gotta attack, yeah. Right, yeah. And then as soon as they extract the doctor and give them to Theon Greyjoy, then we just hit a wall of that on the action.
Luciano (23:02.708)
Yeah, I thought it was going to be non-stop action from the beginning. I was like, oh, let's go. Right.
Luciano (23:16.036)
Not Theon Greyjoy. Ha ha ha! Theon Greyjoy would have done a better job than Euron Greyjoy in this, I have to say. Yeah. Ha ha ha. Yeah, yeah. It kind of stops. Yeah, yeah.
Chris (23:16.77)
Theon. Unix Theon.
Matt (23:23.407)
Sorry, wrong garage oil, my bad.
Chris (23:25.462)
Let's keep it, let's keep it, let's keep it. Let's not edit that in post. Yeah.
Matt (23:30.459)
But yeah, so yeah, so then it just stops. Yeah, to me that's where it lost me. I was like, oh, okay, we're not doing it. And then it ramps up for the last third. I'm like, great, we're back. And we can get into the problems very shortly about the rest of the movie. But like, if the action had have been a little more consistent throughout it, it would have been, you know, I think it would have been, dare I say,
Luciano (23:53.321)
More entertaining?
Matt (23:54.775)
I mean maybe average movie. I don't wanna say that. You know what I mean. Like average entertainment. It's hard. Well, listen.
Luciano (23:59.233)
Ooh, you're foreshadowing. You're foreshadowing the end of this episode.
Chris (24:02.166)
But yo, I just figured it out. This movie is still not the fault of Jackie, and I agree, not enough. I think it was still lacking enough action, and the action pieces were improperly placed. So we were lacking, and they were misplaced. This movie would have been, if this movie was handled the way it was in Jackie Chan's 2017, The Foreigner, but with comedy, they could have pulled it off.
Matt (24:06.19)
Okay.
Chris (24:31.83)
because every bit was great.
Luciano (24:31.853)
I don't think I've watched it.
Matt (24:33.243)
Can you give us, Chris, can you take this movie here and sprinkle in how it could have made, it could have been good with Jackie Chan? Because my first question that I wanted to ask you is like, if it's not Jackie Chan's fault, how, what would have to happen to make it Jackie Chan's fault? But I like the idea of you showing how it could be a good movie versus showing how we can make Jackie into a shitty actor.
Chris (24:44.364)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (24:50.521)
Yeah.
Chris (24:53.986)
There's a problem. It's not Jackie's fault because the set piece of the desert. I think they spent too much time there. Like not even just too much time, but they misused the desert. We don't have a lot to really chew on and the runtime isn't that long. So even thanks to you guys having seen the stingers, I didn't know there was. Right. So in my mind, I'm imagining that there's, there's more that takes place at the docks or the shipyard, or maybe they even get on one of the tankers and things could take place.
Luciano (24:54.679)
I'm out.
Matt (25:06.698)
Okay.
Chris (25:24.074)
I feel like that should have been folded into the movie. Give us more room to pull things out.
Luciano (25:28.556)
Well, if you watch this thing you wouldn't be saying that.
Matt (25:33.283)
Mm-hmm, not at all.
Chris (25:35.398)
And I still think that their writing team should have been fired. Fired, scrapped, replaced.
Luciano (25:41.036)
Yeah, out of a cannon, out of a cannon.
Matt (25:43.778)
For what?
Chris (25:45.442)
for any other team. You could, what happened to the rush hour team? What happened to the foreigner team?
Luciano (25:50.208)
No, what? Is that the replacement? Yeah.
Matt (25:50.224)
No, no, I'm not asking for... I don't care what another team... I want to know why were they getting fired in the first place?
Chris (25:56.59)
because what they gave us was a steaming pile of
Matt (26:02.476)
Okay. I mean...
Luciano (26:03.672)
Why did you censor yourself with that of all things?
Chris (26:04.494)
Trajectory! Trajectory poop, because, trust me, of storytelling poop, okay?
Matt (26:07.329)
I don't- yeah.
Ha ha ha.
Luciano (26:11.786)
Like this motherfucking poop like this is basically what you did
Matt (26:14.203)
Okay, but like, what, like I feel like, I want you to give me the point in the movie where the writing team did you dirty. Like the first time the writing team did you dirty. Because to what I said before, the start of the movie, and I understand that it being generic isn't great writing, but I understand why movie companies are doing this. You know, it used to be back in the day, they would like,
Chris (26:16.29)
Yes.
Chris (26:23.149)
Yes.
Matt (26:40.751)
They would point fingers like, what's the lethal weapon, too? It's like these are South African guys and they fucking label them and have the accident. And now it's just like instead of saying it's a South American—like they say a South American country or an Asian country, but it's very generic now. So I'm not gonna—that to me, that's just like eh, it's movies. But what part did they just stab you in the heart with their bad writing?
Luciano (26:45.127)
Yeah, yeah.
Chris (27:03.35)
when they didn't explain to us when, how, and why May became the villain.
Luciano (27:09.928)
Oh, again, again with the fucking foreshadowing. Yeah, you're doing a bad writing job right now is what you're doing.
Matt (27:10.315)
I just... Hey! Spoilers! That's... We don't...
Chris (27:17.102)
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
Matt (27:17.771)
Yeah, you are. Did you write this movie?
Luciano (27:20.748)
You're fired! Hahahaha!
Matt (27:24.219)
Could you write this badly? I don't think you could.
Chris (27:24.489)
I could have... I could have... I could have with some cocaine! With a bowl of cocaine.
Luciano (27:26.58)
I will answer your question that Chris fucking tried to dodge. For me, no, I'm answering your question, Matt, for once. No, no, not with a question. No. For me, the point where I felt really done dirty about the writing team was when they started implementing the extraction and it was like clearly
Matt (27:31.092)
By asking me a question?
Yeah, but not with a question like Chris did.
Chris (27:40.27)
apologize.
Luciano (27:55.372)
Like whoever wrote this was like, what is the way that we can write this in, in the, like, in a way that is we can create as much problems for this extraction team as possible. And I was like, Oh, so all of this, all of this, the refinery, the workers, the whatever, all of this is just an excuse to have John Cena and Jackie Chan.
Matt (28:06.537)
Okay.
Luciano (28:23.612)
and your own gray joy there and having them duke it out. That's it. There's like, there's no point to the story. It's not a story as a framing device and a poor one at that. And like, it's when you said, when the action stops and they start like driving the buses and nothing really happens. And then the private security team gets fucking steamrolled by a bunch of mercenaries. I was like, oh, okay, fuck this movie.
Matt (28:48.369)
You're wrong and I'll tell you why. The exact point is when they leave the oil refinery and the helicopters that are supposed to provide cover are like, well we gotta take off, we'll see you at the green zone.
Luciano (28:55.556)
Fuck off. Yeah, we're in the same page, in the same realm there. Yeah, yeah. Cause that.
Chris (28:58.897)
Peace!
Chris (29:03.074)
Peace.
Matt (29:03.362)
Okay, yeah. All right, let's fuck. We've done this enough. Chris is already asking questions. His body can't cash before we get to the section of the show.
Chris (29:12.302)
Though my ass can cash. Approved, approved, approved. Swiped and approved. We don't tap, we swipe.
Luciano (29:14.546)
That's not how the fucking saying goes. Did you write this movie?
Matt (29:18.556)
We're moving.
He did, it's obvious!
Let's talk about the plot holes. We're gonna take these in order. Hey man, we're past you now. We're onto the plot holes. Well, you are. Plot holes, biggest plot hole, number one. We've been foreshadowing it. Let's just dive right into it. The private Chinese security team that has volunteered to come in and extract the workers from the oil refinery. First of all, private security teams do not volunteer for anything because they are private for a reason. They are not part of the government. Everything is money. But.
Chris (29:27.594)
If I wrote this, I would have brought y'all with me, but anyways.
Luciano (29:31.076)
We're past it. Yeah.
Chris (29:32.659)
never passed.
Luciano (29:43.94)
Hahaha
Luciano (29:52.888)
Yeah.
Matt (29:55.011)
We're not here to talk about that. What we're here to talk about is their plan. And I, you probably should have watched this movie, but you didn't. I'm gonna lay it out at a really high level so we can dive into it. So they show up to this plant. They bring in a bunch of buses and they're gonna drive a bunch of buses out of this oil plant through, on, sorry, on, well, it's kind of through the way the Highway of Death looks, but on Highway of Death, because it's the fastest route, because if they get there in eight hours, they cannot be late because...
Everybody needs to be in the green zone to get extracted in eight hours. If they don't, they fail. No more context than that because I can't give it to you. That is the high level plan and they have some shoppers to cover them. And as you know, they fuck off. There's more context there, but let's just dive into it. How do we fix this? Do we want to discuss some of the more finer points of how bad their plan was? Where do we want to tackle this?
Chris (30:36.036)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (30:45.904)
Oh, yes. So I have to say that, so as I understand it, the buses were from the refinery because they had the name of the refinery on it. And then they brought the choppers and to me, like the thing that got me excited in the beginning, that never paid off was like, oh, like the professor says, oh, if they attack again, like they did yesterday, we're not going to survive it. So
Chris (30:58.531)
Mm-hmm.
Matt (30:58.648)
Yes.
Chris (31:08.014)
Chang lao.
Chris (31:14.889)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (31:15.192)
They try to impart a sense of like urgency, right? We have to get the fuck out of here. It's like 400 and odd people, like almost 500 people and children. And I was like, before they even showed it, I was like, how the fuck are they, like this should be interesting. How the fuck are they gonna extract all of these people? And then they showed the buses. I went like, okay.
Chris (31:20.141)
Mm-hmm.
Chris (31:28.789)
Mm-hmm. Why are your children here? But anyways, well.
Matt (31:32.247)
families. Come on, bro.
Luciano (31:42.86)
And I was like, oh, there's choppers. And I was like, oh, there's choppers? And I was like, the kids all put in the choppers. And I was like, fuck it, they're gonna like shoot down all the children, are they gonna be this bold? Nope. And I was like, no, the choppers who could have been supporting the convoy, just fuck off. One of the choppers, which is the transport, completely disappears, does not have any bearing on the movie, but.
Chris (31:53.154)
Mmm.
Luciano (32:09.752)
Then the plan is to drive on the highway of death. And I feel like every time I say highway of death, I wanna hear Angus Young's like doing the highway to hell solo. Yeah. And they're gonna drive through this, like they make some excuse, right? It has to be. But my first thought when this starts happening was like, why is it that the commander of the whole security
is driving this bus.
Matt (32:41.987)
Because that's it.
Luciano (32:43.728)
I was like shouldn't he be protecting the buses? How is Yeah, well, how did that work out for him?
Matt (32:48.343)
He trusts his team.
Matt (32:52.791)
Well, that's a great question you asked. Not well as it turns out, but I don't think it's anyone's fault. It may be that the plan they have is bad. Not in the sense that they have to drive these buses to the green zone. Listen, the context is what it is, right? That happens in any story. The context is a means to an end. But the plan is put everybody in these buses, drive through the highway of hell, or highway of death, whatever we're calling it.
Chris (32:57.73)
Uh-uh.
Luciano (33:12.142)
Right.
Luciano (33:20.196)
I'm on a high way down. Yeah. For eight hours straight.
Chris (33:23.56)
Mmm.
Matt (33:25.787)
For 8 hours straight, they bring enough people to essentially put two agents on each bus. Only two of these buses have any sort of gun mounted to the bus for protection. And the helicopters, they're also going to provide protection. Fuck off. So already, if this is actually the highway of death, and when you see it, it is just burned out husks of vehicles everywhere.
Luciano (33:32.406)
Yeah.
Matt (33:52.759)
And you're thinking, okay, it's like fucking Mad Max, right? Like they're getting Mad Max rated and attacked, right? And so you're like, this was your plan? Like, you have no way to defend yourself if anybody attacks, there's no way to defend yourself. Right? So that's...
Luciano (33:57.543)
That was the thought I had too.
Luciano (34:03.152)
That's not a plan, right?
Luciano (34:10.604)
Yeah, there's too many vehicles and too many people for too few security people to defend. 100%. And they chose to do things in the worst possible way because they took gigantic buses and stuffed everybody in it. And they just drove in a straight lane, like through a predictable path that everybody knew through apparently enemy territory or like dangerous territory. What like
Matt (34:25.528)
Yes.
Chris (34:37.737)
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Luciano (34:39.708)
No wonder they volunteered because they probably fucking can't get any contracts because that's not how you do anything Yeah
Chris (34:44.074)
Mm-hmm.
Matt (34:45.704)
Because they're very bad at doing their jobs.
Chris (34:49.943)
You were the last on the list, dragon.
Luciano (34:54.116)
Yeah. So also, I don't, I don't understand also, like.
Chris (34:55.394)
Please, if you take offense, do it.
No one else would take this job. I just want to emphasize that.
Luciano (35:06.4)
I also don't understand like why was it that the plan was to send the choppers away? I can understand sending the kids away in one of the choppers. That was actually a good idea. Save the children, that's fine. But why did the other two helicopters just fuck off? Like what? Why? What were they doing?
Chris (35:19.116)
Yeah.
Matt (35:21.007)
Sure. Yeah.
Matt (35:28.016)
because.
Chris (35:29.828)
No one expected anyone to watch this movie and ask questions.
Luciano (35:32.42)
HAHAHAHAHAHA
Matt (35:35.223)
Okay, well, I agree with you Chris, but it's expensive to have helicopters in your week, but let's approach this as professionals we are. Watch the cuts, but let's be professionals here. None of this makes sense, right? Is there anything else that makes sense before we do the thing we do where we try to fix this and make it make sense? But I think the other thing we didn't talk about for me is they have to make it there in eight hours, right?
Chris (35:42.015)
Budget cuts!
Yes, yes, yes.
Luciano (35:56.179)
Something I'm...
Chris (36:01.138)
Yeah, that was...
Matt (36:01.295)
They gotta make it there in 8 hours. They can't stop. They can't stop for the sandstorm that gets kicked up, right? And they're all like, this is a weird weathered sandstorm. Well, of course, that's a great question because when they go into the sandstorm and have their electronics jammed, 2 of the buses get hijacked and they extract the—the professor and—and some hostages.
Luciano (36:01.356)
Yeah.
Luciano (36:05.717)
Yeah.
Chris (36:06.506)
But what happened? Yeah.
Chris (36:14.763)
Yeah.
Chris (36:20.966)
Arthur and Marianne. Yes. Yep.
Matt (36:23.668)
and the other hostages, Ginger. And so they run away with these people and as soon as they exit the storm, they pull over and stop the buses because two are missing.
Luciano (36:35.788)
Yeah. And then they go flying around the desert GTA style shooting at random cars. Yeah. That that you're right. That doesn't make any fucking sense. They couldn't stop even to wait for the sandstorm. But now that someone was, you know, hijacked or kidnapped. No, no, everybody stop. And me and my daughter are going to go find these people.
Chris (36:36.321)
Let's go!
Matt (36:43.043)
Yep. Correct.
Chris (36:54.019)
people this changes everything
Chris (37:01.55)
quality time.
Matt (37:01.719)
And it's, it's the other, the other thing that's weird about it is, in most cases they're making bad decisions. You know, like not having enough people to defend the convoy, not having enough defense for the convoy, those are just bad decisions. This is just, like, what's the word? It's not circumventing, but it's like, it's like the exact opposite. Yeah. It is self-taught. You're like, you said you're going to do one thing for a reason. Yeah, there it is. It's, you're contradicted yourself.
Chris (37:19.266)
Self-sabotage?
Luciano (37:23.196)
Oh, contradictory is probably the word you're looking for. Yeah. 100%.
Matt (37:30.007)
That's where the movie gets bad writing from actually is you can't have your main characters contradict themselves with explaining Why they need to contradict themselves and they don't explain it at all They just stop the buses for a while hang out wait for all the buses to collect together fucking sing kumbaya and then they all drive off and Jackie and his daughter go looking for God knows what
Luciano (37:38.548)
Yeah. No.
Luciano (37:51.543)
Yeah.
Chris (37:51.818)
It was because of his it's because dragon commander dragon wanted to save his ego. No one else wanted this job, bro No one so the fact that he lost to
Luciano (37:59.04)
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's why, oh, maybe it wasn't even a volunteer. Maybe they paid to be able to go. Maybe that's what happened.
Matt (37:59.359)
Oh, he made them go.
Matt (38:06.983)
Jackie Chan paid the rest of the people to go? Maybe. Oh.
Luciano (38:08.116)
Yeah, because he wanted to rescue his daughter.
Chris (38:10.346)
you can yes and that but I thought that was I thought he was embarrassed he's like shit we already fuck we like we're already scraping the barrel team like if we if we come if we show up to the green zone minus two buses we ain't never getting paid again you got
Matt (38:19.363)
Yeah
Matt (38:25.543)
Minus the person that's most important to get extracted. Yeah.
Luciano (38:27.786)
Yeah.
Chris (38:28.79)
Yes, we lost two buses and the MVP. So what are we going to do?
Matt (38:34.691)
So this is this is if you've segwayed us like the profession you are Chris into how do you solve these problems? Right and so even a Jackie Chan had just said well fuck we cannot go to the extraction zone This is gonna be a blight on our record as professionals as the top team in China or whatever Yeah, we got to go and find these people that would have been something right that would have been at least now you understand Why he's contradicting himself? Yeah
Luciano (38:34.765)
Yeah.
Chris (38:49.294)
human life.
Luciano (38:56.36)
Yeah, like a reason. Yeah. And also, they could have done a better job explaining why Jackie Chan took me with him. Right? Because his excuse was like, Oh, you know, this desert. Yeah, but she was quiet the whole trip. But didn't make any fucking difference that you knew the desert. You could have been
Chris (39:01.463)
Reasons?
Chris (39:10.424)
is... well... yeah... There you go, that's the reason. That was the reason.
Matt (39:18.221)
No.
Luciano (39:23.492)
Could have explained like, she's like, why did you, she could have asked him, why did you, why did you bring me? I don't know the desert that well. And then he could have said, no, I wanted to make sure you were safe with me. I'll protect, I wanted to protect you. Yeah, there you go. That could have been a good moment to say, oh, even when you're trying to help me, you're lying to me. No, that would have been a great line. That's too rude writing.
Chris (39:25.422)
I didn't say it was a good reason.
Chris (39:34.03)
So you're lying to me again, father. I see how it is. Fuck you.
Matt (39:36.504)
You bitch.
Chris (39:39.766)
Fuck you, Dad.
Chris (39:43.439)
Get on the chopper!
Matt (39:45.647)
So how do we, how do we, yeah, Chris, you didn't write this film. Just from that one line right there, I know you couldn't have written this film. So, okay. Okay, OJ.
Luciano (39:53.837)
Yeah.
Chris (39:55.606)
I said, if I did, I would have brought you guys with me.
Luciano (39:59.772)
Oh no. Oh no! Oh boy, that escalated quickly!
Matt (40:01.627)
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Chris (40:02.6)
What the fuck? The juice is loose in this bitch! I'm about to flip a table and slap you with a glove that don't fit! Ugh!
Matt (40:07.107)
Heheheheh...
Matt (40:10.971)
And...
Moving on, the action sequence or the lack of action sequence, the highway of death, how do we like, the plan's bad and I'm okay with their plan being bad to some degree, but do we explain it away? Do we bring more actual action into like, let's make the highway of death, deathy?
Chris (40:14.562)
Hehehe.
Chris (40:19.074)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (40:30.452)
I would have, yeah.
I would have liked to have seen them be resigned to say, okay, we have to go to the Highway of Death. There's no other choice. And then have seen Dragon, Commander Luo. I'm just gonna call him Jackie Chan. Just have Jackie Chan, that name is awful. I would have liked to have seen him say, okay, if we have to do this, let's revisit this plan. And then they plan for...
Chris (40:52.738)
So much disrespect, but I dig it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Matt (40:54.583)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (41:03.596)
like contingencies of being attacked and everything. And you would have been nice to have seen them give the mercenaries a little bit of run for their money. Not just getting fucking destroyed by them, you know, at every fucking turn. Yeah. Ha ha ha. They were all junior security guards.
Chris (41:06.286)
Plan B.
Chris (41:17.258)
So they got wrecked.
Matt (41:17.399)
Yeah, it's like they didn't have any idea, like, if anything happened, we're fucked.
Chris (41:22.454)
It was their second day. It was Team Dragon's second day on the job. No one else would take this. We had no choice but to call you. I know you're the senior, but you're full. Everybody else on your team is green. Can you be wheels up in 0800 hours? Yes, sir.
Matt (41:25.935)
That's true.
Matt (41:31.567)
This feels...
Luciano (41:33.048)
They were still going through onboarding.
Matt (41:42.563)
Mr. Jackie, sir, am I, am I, am I driving the bus or am I on top shooting the gun?
Luciano (41:45.972)
I used to be a sales rep? I don't know what I'm doing!
Chris (41:50.159)
For your country.
for your country, you will.
Luciano (41:56.824)
No, no, you're manning the.50 caliber that you've never operated before.
Chris (42:01.474)
For your country. No, for your country, you're manning the 50 caliber gun on the top of the bus. You will.
Matt (42:07.211)
Mr. Jackie, sir? Um... I'm blind! Is that gonna be a problem?
Luciano (42:11.808)
Nah, given what Euron Greyjoy did at the end, anybody can use a gun and shoot around, hit something. Yeah, so yeah, I think that sequence could have been more like Fury Road-esque, right? Like having them actually have some fights with the cars, have, you know, the security team do some damage and not like just the one of the female security guards
Chris (42:13.122)
For your country, it won't.
Matt (42:20.527)
That's very true. Okay. So yeah, we can.
Chris (42:28.398)
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Luciano (42:41.648)
trying to fight with Nox or whoever it was she was fighting and trying to stab him from like five meters away. I don't know if you've saw that on the fight scene on the bus. She like pulled up a knife and she stabbed down and he was like a full like meter away from her. Easy. So, I...
Chris (42:49.006)
Bye bye. Yeah.
Chris (42:58.926)
The the I love that you that you all bring this up But quite easily this can all be explained quite easily and I'm not and mind you I don't mean this as a defense For for the writing the talent or the production you want to fix it. Here we go More money more money more money. We need more money
Luciano (43:13.695)
We're trying to fix it now, Chris.
Matt (43:16.569)
The movie you wrote?
Luciano (43:20.11)
Ha ha!
Chris (43:22.806)
Because the budget cuts that wreak havoc on the story and the production, my friends, are apparent. Scathing.
Luciano (43:30.496)
I don't know about that. On the production I can see it, but on the story?
Matt (43:32.707)
I did... Yeah, the story... You don't start making a movie until the story's written, so like how did budget cuts make the story bad? Did they chop out scenes? Is that what you're saying?
Chris (43:41.682)
Exactly. That's probably also a very likely scenario. Like what would the director's cut with a different director have been like? Anyways.
Matt (43:52.915)
Would this Zack Snyder cut of Hidden Strike be?
Luciano (43:55.644)
Oh no, in four, three, in black and white? No, I'm good.
Chris (43:55.998)
It would have been a lot better. Oh yes!
Matt (43:57.694)
Hmm.
black and white. Yeah.
Chris (44:00.418)
But you know, you're onto something there. More money with like a Martin Campbell who did Jackie Chan's The Foreigner also and Casino Royale. Could have done it.
Luciano (44:12.129)
So as usual, what Chris is saying is if this was an entirely different movie, it would have been good.
Matt (44:12.238)
What
Yeah. Different movie. It would have been good.
Chris (44:17.634)
No, I just, it starts from the top, baby. It starts from the top. Talk to your man, OJ.
Matt (44:23.261)
You've given me more money, a better director. Another story. No, no, he's keeping Jackie Chan.
Luciano (44:27.712)
another story in a different cast. Yeah, but everybody else goes.
Chris (44:28.087)
Yes?
Chris (44:33.222)
Uh-huh. And John Cena can stay. So can Kung Lao. Oh, she's the real villain. She can stay.
Matt (44:36.739)
What about Jackie's daughter?
Luciano (44:36.761)
Okay.
Luciano (44:43.26)
I actually liked her. I don't know, Owen Kent's day. Fucking, fuck you, Owen Greyjoy. I fucking hate that guy.
Chris (44:43.682)
She can stay. Owen can stay. Everybody can stay. All the, like everybody in the cast can stay.
Matt (44:43.946)
Okay, just teasing it out, eh?
Matt (44:53.344)
Okay, that's fair. All right.
Chris (44:53.782)
But he's, he's Owen in this. He's, he's allowed to make a living.
Matt (44:56.747)
Well, this is another professional segue by Chris because now we're gonna move into the second plot hole of this movie. It is everything to do with Owen. Owen, as Luciano's already pointed out, has says, quote unquote, I am not an idiot.
Luciano (45:03.512)
Uh oh. Uh.
Chris (45:03.63)
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Chris (45:07.346)
O and O and O and O.
Luciano (45:11.82)
Lies!
Chris (45:12.962)
Confirmed. He did say that. Cosine. Do it.
Matt (45:15.267)
He is a liar. Here is Owen's plan in a nutshell. We find out that Owen has been working for Omnicorp and he isn't getting what is his. Sorry, what is it called? Unicorp, whatever. 16 years at Uni Omnicorp, I don't know, man. And... Ah, they...
Chris (45:22.434)
16 years. 16, 16 years.
Luciano (45:23.497)
Om- Omni-Corp now. Unicorp.
Luciano (45:33.233)
They rebranded a while ago.
Chris (45:34.915)
And he forego, he forgot, he forwent on having, on siring a child. A child. Yes. What? What's that?
Matt (45:40.191)
A family. A child. Yes. His plan in a nutshell was that he wanted to get what was his. And so he decided that he was going to take over the oil refinery and pump said oil all I don't know how much oil they never quite said 24 hours of straight pumping.
Luciano (45:41.258)
A child, yeah. A bairn, if you will.
Luciano (46:02.664)
No. 80,000 seconds of oil pumping.
Chris (46:02.954)
Oh, we figured it out.
Matt (46:09.175)
straight pumping of oil into numerous huh HAH
Chris (46:16.877)
AHHHHH!
Matt (46:18.911)
of pumping oil to the sea through underground pipes into numerous oil tankers, and then I guess selling it somewhere. This is part of the oil wars backstory somewhere. So to do this, he needs to get the head engineer her dongle, which, couldn't they just set USB key? I just said it. The dongle, it was so annoying every time they said dongle. Every time they said dongle, I was so angry. Just call it what it is.
Chris (46:22.587)
Uh, no.
Luciano (46:37.88)
Oh, can't say that.
Chris (46:44.002)
The engineers dongle.
Luciano (46:45.761)
Yeah.
Chris (46:47.851)
Yeah.
Luciano (46:48.928)
There was a point where he kept repeating, dongle, dongle. What the fuck?
Matt (46:48.996)
So.
Matt (46:52.183)
Yeah, they said, yeah, it was so dumb. We need the dongle, we need her book, because when they froze the system of oil refinery, there was a number that they wrote down. So that's her book, has the number in it, you need the dongle, so you plug it in, type in the number, and you need her fingerprint to turn the refinery on in order to extract the oil. They were gonna extract the oil for 24 hours, and then they took some extra tankers. They even said they didn't need trucks.
because they had the ones in the ocean, but they still filled up three anyways. Whatever, not that mad about it. And then so then they ran, they were running, the crew that was at the oil refinery was then racing to the demilitarized zone, as they called it, because once they got there, they could not be arrested. That is roughly the plan. We can dive into specifics like how he hired Chris's brother's team to extract the doctor or the head engineer and then shot Henry immediately.
Luciano (47:22.619)
But they had three. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Chris (47:25.718)
Yeah, what's up with that?
Chris (47:44.322)
Henry.
Matt (47:49.603)
because he failed, thereby antagonizing the one guy he wanted to join his crew to stop Dragon. That might be a questionable choice. Other questionable choices that you saw? Well, Owen tried to perpetrate his plan.
Chris (47:56.779)
Yeah. What very questionable.
Luciano (48:02.34)
Hmm. Do we want to get into the whole? I know we don't, but I'm just going to say the whole breaking of the of the dongle when it was plugged in. We'll talk about that later. But like it. Well, it's so stupid. I was so mad at that. It's like, oh, yeah, let's plug this thing that overrides the quantum encryption on this fucking thing. And then I'm going to break it and everything just. Oh, I'm going to break it.
Chris (48:15.022)
Well, you brought it up. Later is kind of now.
Matt (48:16.884)
I mean, you could talk about it now.
Luciano (48:31.84)
It's like a key, right? You jam a key onto a keyhole and you break it and nobody can turn the key again because it's broken inside. It's just the same thing only something, something electronic, something quantum encryption. That makes sense. Another.
Matt (48:39.931)
Correct. Yeah.
Chris (48:39.95)
That's his logic.
Matt (48:47.887)
Correct, yeah. They use quantum encryption, what do you want from them? Been encrypted five times. Five times.
Chris (48:55.234)
Five times, baby. Five times. Five. Five times, baby. Five times the encryptions. One, two, three, four, five, baby. You can't get through that level.
Luciano (48:56.55)
So that means yeah. What? Well, I mean, you already called out the whole idea of like he wanted he made Henry go harass Chris to join in the thing. And you even had that little.
roleplay of, oh, I wish I could give you water, but only if you had $100,000 and like kind of force the issue to say, okay, Chris is going to want to save these kids and he's going to join the crew. And then it's like.
Matt (49:28.047)
Join the crew. Yep.
Only the only smart part of his entire plan was that little manipulation.
Luciano (49:36.34)
Yeah, and it didn't even work, clearly.
Matt (49:39.147)
Well, I mean, it worked in the sense that he got the doctor or the head engineer extracted.
Luciano (49:44.141)
Yeah, but like the only reason why Chris went was because he was lied to by his brother that said, oh, we're going to get the guys who armed the people who killed our dad.
Matt (49:55.563)
I don't want to go down saying this movie was clever, but he did, it was a double manipulation, right? He needed a hundred thousand dollars, so he had to do the job, and also his brother was like, Thanks for killing dad, bitch, and that made him go do it.
Luciano (49:58.984)
It was... yeah, yeah...
Chris (50:07.347)
Mm-hmm. See, see, see.
Luciano (50:07.66)
Yeah. But then, but then he undermined his own like ruse by just immediately killing Henry when, when John Cena just fucks off and he goes like, make it look like Chinese manipulation or Chinese payback. And all that the person did was put some other random Chinese body alongside. How is that supposed to make it look like it was payback?
Chris (50:20.898)
Yeah, he, yeah.
Matt (50:32.795)
Actually, it's not a random Chinese body because he shot a hostage or they shot a hostage in the courtyard Accidentally on purpose Knox did Accidents accidents happen
Chris (50:37.738)
Yeah, accidentally, yeah.
Luciano (50:40.404)
I accidentally three times in the back.
Chris (50:43.37)
Well, if you run, you're trained to pull the trigger, I guess. But that's a drain on Owen is an idiot. That's a drain on resources. He still could have had, Henry should have failed at least one more time and then catch a bullet. So he's an idiot.
Luciano (50:57.14)
Yeah, I agree.
Matt (50:58.767)
You just need Henry to go away, you don't need to kill him and antagonize, like-
Luciano (51:01.544)
Yeah, well he needed Harry to go harass Chris so that he wouldn't interfere at the very least, right?
Matt (51:08.141)
Yeah, sure.
Chris (51:08.874)
And for all we knew, Henry could have risen to the challenge. For all we knew.
Luciano (51:13.161)
No, come on. Come!
Matt (51:14.671)
Sure, but what's the worst that happens? Henry dies and he's actually killed by the Chinese.
Luciano (51:19.855)
Yeah.
Chris (51:21.194)
or the French in the process, which would have made an even more... Listen.
Luciano (51:23.244)
Oh, we don't talk about the French. Sacre bleu. Yeah. No, he does say, he does say though. I know. Yeah, he says, go close the loop with the French because I don't want them coming asking for their guns or whatever. He says it right after he kills.
Matt (51:23.395)
Or we didn't even know. That's not part of Owen's plan. We'll get there, but that's not part of Owen's plan.
Chris (51:36.864)
Mm-hmm.
Matt (51:40.055)
Not part of Owen's plan. I don't care, I don't wanna talk about that part. Owen's got too many other problems. We gotta focus on the rest of Owen's problems. That he can't handle. Owen, he's so stupid. So Owen, well, we're saying it. I already evoked OJ on this episode. I'm just off.
Chris (51:45.794)
that he can't, that he cannot handle. Cause he's stupid. He's so stupid.
Luciano (51:53.432)
Just can't say that, only I can say that.
Ha ha!
Chris (51:58.423)
There's two of us, there's two of us. You're the OJ of the episode and you are the patriarchy. So yeah.
Luciano (52:04.744)
No! Not at all! Okay.
Matt (52:07.695)
Back to Owen's plan. So Owen is gonna steal all his oil and he's gonna sell it to the hospital. He's gonna get his. Along the way on this plan, we have him killing Henry's brother, sorry, killing Henry, Chris's brother. Bad idea. Then he breaks off the dongle and I guess it works. So the plan is fine. That's more the plot hole is that should never work. But...
Chris (52:14.658)
Lorenzo's.
Luciano (52:21.113)
Yeah.
Chris (52:21.832)
Chris's.
Luciano (52:29.084)
It worked so in that sense it wasn't a bad idea but
Matt (52:36.451)
The other things that happen at the plant is Knox stays, he tells Knox to stay there until the oil is done. So he's, Knox, remember this is 24 hours of oil and they've left about a half hour in, maybe two hours into the oil exchange. We're not sure, but it's early as far as I can tell. And he says to Knox, hey, when the oil transfer's done, you can kill the doctor and her son. Which is like supposed to be some sort of fucking major.
Luciano (52:39.924)
Yeah.
Chris (52:41.549)
Yes.
Luciano (52:54.06)
Yeah, it's early.
Chris (52:55.255)
Mm-hmm.
Chris (53:03.338)
I hope you got Weetabix.
Matt (53:05.011)
mind bending like, oh my god, it's her son there.
Luciano (53:06.392)
Well, no, it was like, oh, look how evil he is. Yeah, because we didn't know.
Matt (53:09.827)
Whatever. So, a couple of things. If the dongle is broken and the oil can't be stopped as was told to us in the movie, why is Knox staying there?
Luciano (53:20.832)
Right. Well, who was going to do a foam wire fight with Jackie Chan if he didn't stay there?
Chris (53:29.462)
Someone had to run Circa.
Luciano (53:30.8)
Checkmate. Ha ha ha.
Matt (53:31.483)
Okay. Okay, okay, fine. You've got me on that one. Why did the doctor, sorry, the head scientist and her son need to be alive?
Chris (53:43.762)
emotional content.
Luciano (53:44.724)
I was gonna say, cause maybe he could have, like, or for him to use as like collateral, but he doesn't even do that, so I guess you caught me on that one.
Matt (53:51.824)
You can't use them as collateral if you leave them behind.
Luciano (53:55.328)
Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, I mean, for Nox to use as like human shield, right? But why? Like even if Nox dies, who gives a shit? Yeah.
Matt (54:00.387)
Hmm
Matt (54:04.987)
Who cares?
Chris (54:06.154)
Yeah, tramp stamp just doesn't factor into the end game. So.
Luciano (54:11.208)
Oh, tramp stamp just disappears from the... like he gets mentioned once when they're shooting at the buggies from the helicopter and that's it.
Matt (54:11.455)
Well, he does, but...
Chris (54:22.206)
tramp stamp is nox.
Luciano (54:24.756)
No. Is it? Is that another? Okay. Why is it a tramp stamp? Tramp stamp doesn't make sense. All the other ones do.
Matt (54:24.811)
Yeah, wasn't he? Yeah, I think so. He has like five nicknames.
Chris (54:27.178)
Yes, Knox is Tramp Stamp. Tramp Stamp, Cyclops.
Matt (54:34.891)
Because he has tattoos. John Cena's a racist, probably. I don't know.
Chris (54:35.606)
That's what he said. Yeah. Eh. What's racist about tramp stamp, by the way?
Luciano (54:38.828)
Oh my god! Okay!
I don't think it's... It's not racist, it's just dumb.
Matt (54:43.127)
I don't know, it's just, I don't know, it's just, it's John Cena. Yeah.
Chris (54:45.45)
It doesn't, it could be dumb, but I don't know what's racist about it. Okay, cool, cool. Sure. And then another reason why Owen is an idiot is because as he drives away with Bald Eagle, Bald Eagle, Bald Eagle, Bald Eagle in the dune buggy, right? They pass May in Susie. Why did they not?
Matt (54:49.639)
It's John Cena. Racist.
Luciano (55:06.164)
Yeah, may and they're like, oh, that's fine. Yeah, I wrote it. I wrote it down. It's like Why did they fucking let us? Oh, there's another car a weird car coming in the other direction. Okay
Matt (55:07.055)
Oh my god, yes! Ha ha!
Chris (55:12.791)
Kill her!
Chris (55:19.458)
Flatten the tires at least! Cap the tires!
Luciano (55:21.241)
Yeah.
Matt (55:22.467)
He shot three hostages behind the back just because. Just because.
Luciano (55:24.908)
Just because.
Chris (55:25.162)
Yep. Nothing. Like.
Luciano (55:28.66)
Yeah, he could have used his aim bot and shot it at me after passing her, just shoot her through the, right? Just like what they did. I know we're gonna get into this. I know we're gonna get into this later, but like just how the magic they fucking did with that buggy when they hit the harpoon on the bus and then they blow up like underneath it and then he hits perfectly. If they could do that, couldn't he have just like.
Chris (55:33.89)
They could have, yo, they could have, they could have either taken her out or incapacitate the vehicle.
or we're gonna get into it.
Chris (55:49.922)
Yeah. And then smash the windshield of the bus? No, no, no.
Luciano (55:56.944)
shot over his head at Mae and killed her?
Matt (55:58.555)
That... no, that was Knox. And Knox was left behind.
Chris (56:01.526)
Yeah, Owen didn't, yeah.
Luciano (56:02.092)
No, yeah, I know, but your own Greyjoy had aimbot as we established. Yeah, yeah.
Matt (56:05.255)
Owen can't do anything except-
Yeah, but you had to do it after they passed. You're right. Anyways.
Chris (56:11.577)
They should have, which is another reason why Owen was dumb. Owen should have driven, Bald Eagle should have manned the guns on the dune buggy.
Luciano (56:17.952)
Yeah, true, true. If he didn't know how to use the guns, that's true.
Matt (56:19.657)
Well, I mean...
Matt (56:23.379)
Why do you think he knows how to drive good?
Chris (56:26.146)
Driving is better than him trying to man those guns. It's a straight line, it seems.
Matt (56:27.987)
Is it though? I mean...
Luciano (56:29.292)
I mean, I think he probably, he knew how to drive at least.
Matt (56:34.203)
I- Listen, I'm just saying if-
Chris (56:35.53)
It would have been, if they want to give him character death, he's like, they robbed me of having a family and they also robbed me of getting my G2.
Luciano (56:37.887)
Wait, wait a minute. So, wait.
Luciano (56:43.66)
Man.
Matt (56:45.188)
Hahaha!
Luciano (56:48.88)
Because... because... because of Unicorp, I don't have a wife, I don't have a child, I don't have a driver's license, I don't have a driver's license. I... yeah, I was getting there! I am not alphabetized! I don't know what these squiggles are!
Matt (56:49.76)
He was too busy!
Chris (56:50.108)
You had to let me cook!
Chris (56:56.334)
Try! I don't even know how to read! Sorry.
Matt (57:09.688)
Yeah
Chris (57:11.099)
I'm not an idiot, which is why he overcompensates. I'm not an idiot Yes
Luciano (57:14.672)
Yeah. No, because I was going to say like he knows how to drive because he drives that fucked up buggy a couple of times after getting like smashed. But.
Matt (57:16.217)
Um, you might be.
Matt (57:25.395)
Oh, that's true. I'm just... Sure, I mean... But, fast. He can't drive good fast. I don't know. He- Owen's dumb. So like, why are we- Like... He's not making smart choices. So if we're talking about this as a plot hole... Owen is- is dumb. And... His plan is bad. And it doesn't make sense. And he's an idiot.
Chris (57:26.39)
He drove to the village in the early...
Chris (57:44.61)
Get him. And he's also handicapped. He is handicapped in life, in life.
Luciano (57:44.765)
and he is incompetent.
Luciano (57:50.831)
So the real plot hole, the real plot hole is how the fuck did he get so many people to follow his plan?
Matt (57:51.351)
We don't use... Yeah.
Matt (57:58.431)
Well, this is a good question because you use the idea that, you know, the mafia idea of like the mob boss is scary, he'll kill you at a moment's notice. But generally, the mob boss has loyal soldiers, and I guess Knox was loyal, but like, why would anybody else be? Like, there's no... you just shoot him, like, when you're in that weird spot after, you know, like, they talk to Henry and Chris. Like, someone's gonna just shot him and be like, alright, we're done here, we'll see you later. Like, he was not integral to the plan whatsoever.
Chris (58:00.686)
True genius.
Luciano (58:07.286)
Right.
Luciano (58:28.712)
Yeah. And besides like all of the foot soldiers, like the unnamed redshirts, they didn't like they weren't even like they were all apparently locals from the way that they were portrayed, right? So why were they like, were they being paid that much money, but he didn't have any money because, you know, Unicorp took, I don't even know what money looks like, like all that fuck, right? So how, how did he get all that people to? I don't know.
Chris (58:35.342)
Yeah.
Matt (58:39.223)
Yeah.
Matt (58:49.259)
Everything. 100%.
Luciano (58:58.113)
It's so dumb.
Chris (59:01.832)
Amway shares.
Luciano (59:04.116)
Oh, it's a pyramid scheme, okay. Yeah, okay. Yeah. I think you misspelled, you misspelled Ponzi scheme.
Matt (59:06.358)
No, it's multi-level marketing.
Chris (59:06.594)
That's not what we call it! That's right, MLM, okay? Get with the times, Luciano.
Matt (59:11.307)
Multi-level marketing. So.
Chris (59:16.723)
I'm just kidding.
Matt (59:16.887)
Listen, okay listen I know this sounds crazy guys but my buddy Owen says that if I just bring three other people into this group I get an extra 2% from the oil and I can pass it on to you guys you each get an extra percent by being part of my crew
Chris (59:28.899)
What?
Luciano (59:32.181)
Next and you have to sell a barrel a month, right?
Chris (59:33.611)
Whoa.
Matt (59:35.767)
You just got to, yeah. You have to buy your own barrel to be part of the crew, obviously. But once you buy your monthly barrel from me, your friend, at a low price, then you can fill up with oil, and then you can sell your barrels of oil to other people, your friends.
Luciano (59:40.201)
Yeah, yeah, you have to stock up on the barrel.
Chris (59:42.734)
Okay.
Luciano (59:45.038)
Yeah.
Luciano (59:53.42)
but yeah, with a markup so you can get a profit. And every time you bring three, yeah, if you bring three people in, then your percentage goes up. And the more people they bring, more, yeah.
Matt (59:56.447)
Right, and so if you yourself to three people...
That's right.
You just gotta find three people. You get three people and they get three people and they get three people. You'll be raking in millions.
Luciano (01:00:10.16)
Yeah, in, no, in, if they get three people and then they get three people and then they get three people within like 10 levels, it's more people that exist in the earth. But you know, doesn't do
Chris (01:00:10.514)
And so on and so on and so on and so on.
Matt (01:00:20.719)
Listen, there's only 100 people in our shanty town in the desert. She better get those three people first. We're gonna run out quick. What could possibly go wrong? So Owen's plan, can we, can we?
Chris (01:00:21.196)
Mm-hmm
Chris (01:00:24.75)
hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
Luciano (01:00:28.183)
Yeah.
Oh my god. Who, who, who would have thought, who would have thought that Owen opened, uh, like a herbal life and oil life instead of a herbal life? Yeah.
Chris (01:00:31.932)
No.
Matt (01:00:42.987)
Oil life, I like this. So okay, so let's spend five minutes or less fixing Owen's, the plot holes around Owen. I... No, no, Chris said we didn't have to get... Chris liked them. Chris is just changing most other things. We're keeping Owen. So Owen has to stay. So when we write this story for Owen, I think... I don't care about Owen knowing Chris at all. That makes no sense to me. It doesn't add anything to the plot. It doesn't matter.
Luciano (01:00:50.48)
Okay, so take Cohen out of the picture.
Chris (01:00:57.975)
Thank you.
Luciano (01:01:00.281)
Okay.
Chris (01:01:08.675)
Yeah.
Matt (01:01:11.287)
So let's just take that right out. We don't care. Owen's plan isn't terrible in itself, although I think the idea that you're gonna put a bunch of oil into ships off to sea seems weird.
Luciano (01:01:13.296)
Okay.
Luciano (01:01:25.679)
I was going to say I could have used some a little bit of exposition from someone to say oh the Saudis are expecting the soil or something like that. Yeah.
Matt (01:01:35.471)
Sure, pre-sell it, that's a great thing, right? And now you have like an actual way to get rid of all that oil. And then, you know, also like it's, again, you talk about the extremes, right? It's like $100,000 for water, okay. But they get hundreds of millions of oil per tanker and they roll up with like 10 to 12 tankers and it's just like, okay, but like.
Chris (01:01:37.87)
We'll see you next time.
Luciano (01:01:40.473)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:01:51.2)
Yeah, we're gonna, we're going to make $2 billion.
Chris (01:01:52.26)
Mm.
Matt (01:01:55.863)
Just like it doesn't it yeah, it's like you're stealing oil You could have stole like six trucks like I don't know or whatever like it I don't need to go crazy on it right so you steal the oil and maybe It's like you need something better you need a better reason for him stealing the oil other than he didn't get his from Omni uni hash Corp
Luciano (01:02:13.876)
Hush Corp, Umbrella Corp.
Chris (01:02:14.758)
Amway
Matt (01:02:16.983)
Umbrella carp. From oil, oil of life, to multi-level marketing. He can't get out until he breaks his contract by delivering hundreds and hundreds of million of oil.
Luciano (01:02:21.124)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:02:27.796)
Yeah. We needed like the, I can understand that the goal of getting the oil and stealing it and making it into a heist is like a means to an end. It's almost like a shitty version of the coin from John Wick. It's like, it doesn't really matter why, but a little bit of sense would have helped right. Because then there were stakes because like assume, you know,
Matt (01:02:50.424)
Yes.
Luciano (01:02:55.352)
they destroyed like they did the trucks, right? That were kind of riding with them. They still got a bunch of oil in there, but like what are the consequences of them not getting all of the oil, right? That kind of stuff. Just a little bit of sense, right? Maybe what he says is, oh, you know, we're supposed to deliver this much oil and now these...
Matt (01:03:08.507)
Sure.
Chris (01:03:09.422)
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Luciano (01:03:21.964)
tree trucks are like fucked we don't have enough and then he kills somebody to kind of even out the uh the split of the money something like that you know just
Chris (01:03:31.022)
I like where you're going. But what do you guys think of the complexity of, because I'm kind of okay with the pipeline from the refinery going to the shipyard. I'm kind of okay with that. But what if he used the three trucks as a fuck you diversion to drink decoy.
Luciano (01:03:48.749)
Like a decoy. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That would have been good. But then that would have required them not knowing about the pipes though.
Chris (01:03:53.954)
because...
Chris (01:03:58.611)
Not, no, what do you mean?
Matt (01:03:58.783)
What did you know about the pipes?
Luciano (01:04:01.432)
Because if it's a decoy, it only works as a decoy if they think that the trucks are more important than whatever is happening in the refinery. Well, it's not that they need to know, but they have the people that worked at the refinery with them, they would have been told.
Matt (01:04:10.103)
Yeah. So why do they need to know what the pipes in the oil go into the boats?
Matt (01:04:21.355)
Yeah, but I don't have to, like, I just don't think you even bring it up as a thing.
Luciano (01:04:25.48)
Or maybe Owen could have thought it was going to be a good decoy until they were told that the refinery was where things were happening. So.
Chris (01:04:36.47)
And hopefully, if the three trucks...
Sorry, the three trucks leaving the refinery, hopefully the heroes or the good guys would have seen, shiny object, they're trying to get away with it. Perhaps it would have been an insult to their intelligence. And based on this writing, current writing, like what you're trying to improve, they were like, can't you let them get away with those? Either they, then they have to make a choice. They go all in or maybe they split up.
Luciano (01:04:57.849)
Hahaha
Luciano (01:05:04.118)
I also...
Here's another thing I would do with this is I wouldn't have Owen kill Henry. I would leave Henry being sort of like a nuisance. Like every time John Cena and Jackie Chan are going to go after the people that were helping Owen, he couldn't go all out because Henry was there. So he couldn't like start shooting. Yeah. He, well, I mean, it doesn't have to get that bad, but like,
Chris (01:05:14.932)
seconded.
Chris (01:05:29.452)
Right. Lou! He's trying to take my song!
Matt (01:05:35.781)
Well, I could.
Luciano (01:05:36.73)
You could have been like a spanner in the works for them to be able to go all out, right?
Chris (01:05:41.782)
Yeah. That's my brother!
Matt (01:05:42.935)
I think you've nailed it on the head. I just don't think, you wanna get yours okay, but transporting all that oil to the sea is just like, they don't go after it. Like it's fucking handled in a cut scene at the end of the movie, right? So that didn't matter to the story at all. But it didn't.
Luciano (01:05:56.201)
Yeah.
Chris (01:05:57.666)
That's their fault though. Yeah, go on.
Luciano (01:06:00.131)
And they had no reason to care about the oil, quite frankly.
Matt (01:06:02.787)
Right, and so that whole ruse of we're gonna steal oil money, it's like why do you care? Like they show it, it doesn't matter to the movie because they're just trying to stop him from getting away. Not from stealing the oil, because they just all of a sudden say you can't stop him from stealing the oil because they make him be able to break the thing. So the consequences of the oil is gone. So like what do we care about the ships? What do we care about anything? We always just want to chase him down. Yeah, and so if you put, like you have two oil groups and it's like.
Luciano (01:06:08.825)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:06:18.167)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:06:22.126)
Yeah.
It should have been just the revenge, right? Yeah, yeah.
Chris (01:06:28.107)
Yeah.
Luciano (01:06:30.311)
Oh!
Matt (01:06:31.599)
One is fucking Henry, one is Owen, and then Chris has got to go chase down Henry or something. He kind of split it up, but you, you know, he gets him to come back on his side and actually stop him to save face or, you know, whatever in the community. You can do it that way.
Chris (01:06:35.096)
Mm-hmm.
Chris (01:06:39.191)
Right.
Chris (01:06:42.858)
Yeah, you're my brother, right.
Luciano (01:06:43.88)
Or it could have been like, you know, in the, like, they weren't really caring about the oil at all in the story. And like, they showed that. And then John Cena is like, fuck this. I'm not going to go do anything there. I'm just, just need the water here for my village. But then he sees, uh, Owen kill Henry. And that's when he gets back into the act. He's like, okay, now it's perf now it's personal. Right. Now I have to go get revenge. Yeah.
Chris (01:07:04.878)
Hmm.
Matt (01:07:05.828)
Perfect.
Chris (01:07:08.608)
Yeah.
Matt (01:07:10.115)
Moving on. Yeah, we're done. We're done. Moving on. I'm tired of talking about Owen's bad play. It was dumb as hell. Fuck Owen. Let's ask some different questions. Some fun questions.
Luciano (01:07:13.351)
Hahaha
Chris (01:07:15.595)
Yeah, fuck that guy.
Luciano (01:07:19.546)
All right.
Chris (01:07:22.574)
DO IT!
Luciano (01:07:23.383)
Oh, I know where you're going.
Matt (01:07:25.091)
Hey, my name is Owen. I have, well, I don't know, 68,400 pumping seconds of oil. How am I going to sell this? You did like five pumping seconds right there.
Chris (01:07:25.399)
Will you?
Chris (01:07:29.008)
What the fuck?
Chris (01:07:36.054)
This puppet sentence.
Chris (01:07:43.99)
Well, that's just a taste, you know?
Luciano (01:07:44.871)
You're a rich man. You didn't know.
Matt (01:07:46.347)
You're very rich. Where am I selling this? Because they don't talk about it. They don't say anything. He's just driving off with all his oil. What denominations are you selling in? It's like, here is three pumping seconds of oil. It's like a jug, a one liter jug of oil.
Chris (01:07:53.032)
Alibaba.
I'm sorry.
Chris (01:08:03.886)
That, yeah, well, you wish, you wish, you'd be, you wanna get your hands on this.
Luciano (01:08:07.436)
I think they can, he can start selling is like, it's like alternative medicine.
Matt (01:08:13.531)
Okay, but it's like crew is.
Chris (01:08:15.414)
like Lorenzo's oil.
Luciano (01:08:16.undefined)
Is that crude oil? Yeah, like Lorenzo's.
Matt (01:08:17.951)
I keep saying it's refined. It's an oil refinery. Yeah, it's an oil refinery. So, so it's refined. So it's like.
Chris (01:08:18.734)
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
Luciano (01:08:21.416)
Yeah, it's refined. Yeah. But well, it's not because what we see pumping is royal, right? Yeah. But there's no, like, cause you, when you refine oil, you refine it into other things.
Matt (01:08:27.735)
Well, because this is okay. I don't want to go too far down this road, but like they're clearly at an oil refinery.
Chris (01:08:31.797)
Meh.
Matt (01:08:37.355)
Yes. And so they just, why don't they steal gasoline or... No, I don't want to, we're not asking that. We pumped oil. We pumped a lot of oil.
Luciano (01:08:39.104)
Like gas, gasoline or yeah. Yeah.
Chris (01:08:45.644)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (01:08:49.388)
I like Chris's idea. They go on AliExpress and they, no, 86,400. Yeah, it's more seconds.
Chris (01:08:50.143)
How much?
Matt (01:08:52.515)
68,400 pumping seconds of oil. 86, oh my bad. I wrote that down, I'm dyslexic. Way more, way more pumping seconds of oil than I would have expected or wrote down. Okay, so.
Luciano (01:09:07.352)
Yeah, they can sell it as like, like I said, like alternative medicine, like Reiki or something like that. They go, five, yeah, five seconds of pumped oil is enough to unclog your pores and your sinuses, you know, and then, you know, they can sell it like that. You know, oh, it can be used as a nice, as a nice flavoring for a cupcake. I don't know, something like that.
Chris (01:09:13.514)
Mmm. My pores feel so illuminated.
Chris (01:09:23.185)
Mm-hmm. Mmm. I'm gonna snort this. I'm so congested.
Matt (01:09:27.291)
it.
Matt (01:09:33.607)
or a lubricant for your car, like it's just a cure-all. So you can do some other pumping seconds of oil if you catch my drift. Hey, we got there, I'm really, which you can also oil with the pumping seconds of oil. We have to stop, it's gone too far. Different question for you. Which god is horny for John Cena?
Luciano (01:09:36.093)
Or a lubricant, period.
Chris (01:09:37.962)
Period. Everybody needs to get free. You know?
Luciano (01:09:42.644)
Ayyyyyy! It's a self- It's like a perpetual motion machine.
Chris (01:09:47.309)
You know?
Luciano (01:09:50.168)
There you go. It's all purpose.
Chris (01:09:54.69)
Who needs potatoes?
Matt (01:10:03.103)
I ask this because John Cena in this movie, they have a rocket
Luciano (01:10:05.547)
Like, John's... ah, in the movie. I was gonna ask if you're asking about John Cena in general.
Matt (01:10:08.755)
Yeah, maybe also that, but specifically Chris in the movie, the scene that draws most of my attention is the him and Jack Chan fight over not wearing a seatbelt. They get into this armored transport flatbed that has the jet engine they use to make the Sandstorm Monarch. And to catch up to the bad guys, they turn on this jet engine and drive at extreme speeds to catch up. Don't worry about that. We're going to cover that in a secondary question. But what happens is, is because he doesn't wear a seatbelt.
Chris (01:10:11.494)
character Chris.
Luciano (01:10:13.783)
Okay, okay.
Matt (01:10:37.935)
They slam the truck into the edge of one of the oil tankers and basically destroy everything. And John Cena goes fucking hurdling out of that truck at the speed of sound. And he gets up like he just, you know, fell over off his bike that was standing still. Yeah. Just dust off his pants. He would be dead, so dead. He'd be liquid dead, but he survives. Right, he also...
Luciano (01:10:45.86)
Oh yeah, he ejects. Yeah, yeah.
Chris (01:10:54.158)
This is an inconvenience.
Luciano (01:10:56.419)
Yeah, dust off his pants. Yeah.
Luciano (01:11:03.371)
He'd be dead before he hit the ground. 100%.
Matt (01:11:07.251)
at the end of the movie, they drive same said truck over a cliff. A dragon and a daughter kind of jump out at the last second and hold on to, I think they lash themselves to the doom buggy that Owen's in to save themselves. And as far as we know, John Cena dies a second time. And then he miraculously at the end of the movie just comes climbing up the rock face from somewhere.
Luciano (01:11:18.38)
Yeah, yeah.
Luciano (01:11:27.364)
from somewhere. Yeah. Also, he should have been sucked into that jet engine within a half of a second. Like.
Matt (01:11:35.343)
Sure, also true. As soon as they turn it on, he's outside holding on, gone.
Luciano (01:11:40.58)
I think the answer to your question is all of the gods are horny for Jarnsina. It has to, like it's, I don't know, like which god would protect him from like stupidity, speed and physics? I don't know, I don't know a god that covers all of those.
Matt (01:11:44.795)
Mm-hmm.
Matt (01:11:59.367)
Uh, Shazam?
Luciano (01:12:01.776)
Okay, I sure. Okay.
Chris (01:12:03.202)
All of them it seems, or Zeus.
Luciano (01:12:07.764)
Okay?
Chris (01:12:07.854)
Whoever, whoever... Prometheus? Athena?
Matt (01:12:08.131)
Solomon? Maybe not Solomon. Ooh, that's a good one.
Luciano (01:12:13.648)
The flying spaghetti monster? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Matt (01:12:17.275)
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah
Chris (01:12:18.135)
Cthulhu? What? Cthulhu? Is that you? Did you enter the chat Cthulhu?
Luciano (01:12:25.236)
Yeah, I think it's a god called plot that...
Chris (01:12:32.362)
that blessed him with the armor of the gods? Of the gods.
Luciano (01:12:33.729)
Blast him with the armor, the armor of the gods. Yeah.
Matt (01:12:38.621)
Oh, good old plot. Yeah, he's very, very solid.
Chris (01:12:40.394)
I was gonna say Acme Corp because Chris in this movie, but at the same time, well, you can say same, same because I believe that one Wile E. Coyote also represents offerings at the altar of Acme slash.
Luciano (01:12:42.944)
Same, same. Same, same really.
Luciano (01:12:58.16)
True. Oh yeah. Oh, I hadn't thought of that. Like John Cena's character in this movie is very wily, Coyote. Like he's just stupid. And then he's fine.
Matt (01:12:58.711)
Okay, I'll-
Chris (01:13:10.955)
And he's fine.
Matt (01:13:11.863)
I think we've nailed it. Let's move on to other important questions.
May at the end of the movie says she understands now to her father. How may I understand? What may I understand? Who may I understand? Why may I understand? And when may I understand? Pick anyone really. We shouldn't go through all of them.
Chris (01:13:17.442)
That's...
Luciano (01:13:18.608)
Okay.
Chris (01:13:21.708)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (01:13:24.294)
You have a few questions that... okay.
Luciano (01:13:35.249)
I think you missed also you missed humst as well. Yeah.
Matt (01:13:39.407)
HUMST
Chris (01:13:40.046)
What the fuck is hoobst? You don't, you don't, hoobstank! You don't, you don't just throw that up without, it sounds like something I want to consume. Like at worst or something.
Matt (01:13:42.339)
Hoomst may understand.
Matt (01:13:52.467)
Answer the question, stuff dodged it.
Chris (01:13:54.786)
Dodge.
Luciano (01:13:54.908)
Um, I don't know maybe she hit her head and now she understands why her father abandoned her and her mother who was dying
Chris (01:14:03.394)
Did she wear a seatbelt in the... Okay.
Luciano (01:14:04.908)
Yeah, she did.
Matt (01:14:06.095)
Yes. She had the little tiny seat in the middle where she was like up higher than everybody else, but she had a seatbelt on. Yeah. Oh, well then she's, is she, yeah, that's it. Concussed.
Luciano (01:14:11.788)
And she hit her head when she was sitting there. Yeah. There you go. It's a concussion. She understands a concussion. Ha ha ha.
Chris (01:14:19.815)
She was concussed. She understands because she was concussed.
Luciano (01:14:23.777)
Yeah, I think.
Matt (01:14:24.035)
Well, I mean, how many times has Jackie Chan been concussed? So now that she is as dumb as he is in this movie, she understand.
Luciano (01:14:29.66)
Oh, there you go. I think you fucking nailed it. She understands what a concussion feels like. Therefore, yeah.
Chris (01:14:30.338)
We wrapped this up a lot faster than I thought. This is a record. I did not expect that.
Matt (01:14:32.271)
I know we got there quick. Nice.
Chris (01:14:39.966)
She understands all. She gained Acme level Wile E. Coyote Omniscience.
Luciano (01:14:45.208)
Well, Unicorp, not Acme in this case. AcmeCorp.
Matt (01:14:47.639)
You know how she... Omnicorp. Acmecorp, yes, thank you. Let's continue with May because I have another question about May. I think this is really important. Is May the real villain of this movie? And hear me out on this one. I'm gonna give you one example. May comes to help everybody at the oil factory. She drives by all of the villains. They don't shoot her once. And then she says...
Luciano (01:14:54.809)
Uh oh.
Chris (01:14:59.406)
Yes.
Chris (01:15:07.807)
Yes.
Yes, correct.
Luciano (01:15:13.057)
Oh shit, she's a plant!
Matt (01:15:15.259)
Trust me, Chris, I got this as they tried to jump over a hill and she fucking totals, his pickup. Yup.
Chris (01:15:17.711)
Yes.
Fucking it up on purpose.
Luciano (01:15:21.75)
immediately, completely totals the pickup. Poor Susie did nothing wrong.
Chris (01:15:28.462)
Plant, plant, silent partner, skin in the game. She's getting money. She did this because she wanted to kill her father.
Matt (01:15:29.33)
Nah, damn thing.
Luciano (01:15:37.325)
Just like the guy who put the X on the buses.
Matt (01:15:41.039)
Exactly. Kung Lao got reduced to putting an X on a bus? Damn. That's, that is crushed.
Chris (01:15:41.294)
Kung Lao! That was Kung Lao!
Luciano (01:15:46.04)
That is sadness.
Chris (01:15:46.314)
Word. Word life. He went from Mortal Kombat to spray painting a la getting up Mark Echo in PS2. Now.
Luciano (01:15:56.452)
Ha ha ha!
Matt (01:15:56.779)
Wow. Damn. Okay.
Luciano (01:15:58.96)
Chidi Banksy is what he did.
Chris (01:16:01.102)
Correct. So she has a shit list, okay? A list of motherfuckers that have got it coming. Number one, daddy. Her paps is gonna get the slaps. Number two, Professor Yen Chen Chang. I thought I wrote it down. Aunt Chen and her son. She has worked at this oil refinery for a time, a period. She's an engineer. Nepotism.
Matt (01:16:10.039)
for Papi.
Luciano (01:16:15.888)
Ching, cheng, yeah.
Matt (01:16:18.747)
Chang.
Luciano (01:16:27.406)
Oh nepotism. Oh.
Chris (01:16:30.774)
She is tired of the patriarchy and tired of nepotism, foiling her career plans once again. And just like Owen, who missed the opportunity to sire a seed and learn to drive a vehicle. You sire the seed, you sire the seed, and you let the seed grow. I do not care. No, I'm not finished, I'm cooking.
Luciano (01:16:44.872)
You don't sire a seed man, what the fuck is wrong with you?
Matt (01:16:46.979)
That's so.
Luciano (01:16:51.946)
Can I be, can I be excused please?
Matt (01:16:52.207)
Uh, uh, Luciano, you sired the scene with 1-2 seconds of oil pumping, I believe.
Luciano (01:16:59.504)
Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Chris (01:16:59.788)
See?
Chris (01:17:03.486)
And then so overlooked so many times for promotion. And then after a period of time, like let's say three, four years, you know, and just watching this little shit, this sick son shit head rise to comp troller. You don't let that slide.
Luciano (01:17:20.001)
He's not a comp troll. He wasn't doing finance. What the fuck?
Matt (01:17:20.655)
Hehehehe
Matt (01:17:25.245)
God damn controllers. This ruined everything.
Chris (01:17:28.867)
I don't give a fuck. This motherfucking, this motherfucking junior Chen comp trolling motherfucker has had enough. And so she's ready to even the scales with what? A different kind of justice.
Luciano (01:17:30.607)
Ha!
Luciano (01:17:39.025)
I see.
Luciano (01:17:43.912)
So she's like female Owen is what you're saying.
Matt (01:17:47.063)
Wrists, basically. But also, just to add to Chris's thing, who manages to get ahold of the bag with the phone and the dongle and the book?
Luciano (01:17:58.572)
And then John Cena goes and foils her plan. Yeah. No, he foiled it.
Chris (01:17:58.653)
See?
Chris (01:18:02.166)
Was that a foil? That wasn't a foil. Where- No, no, no. Why do you think her diary was placed where it was?
Matt (01:18:06.379)
Now, they want you to think, they want you to think it was foiled.
Luciano (01:18:11.282)
Oh, because I thought her plan was to just fucking kill the professor and take over herself
Matt (01:18:16.211)
No! No, no, no. You just want the money at this point. You want your revenge. You want to get what's yours.
Chris (01:18:18.046)
If it happens, it happens, bruh.
You know, she wants a payout. She's done with this place and she's gonna take, she wants a bonus times 12.
Luciano (01:18:22.184)
I see. Oh, actually, this is like, like three levels, three levels deep planning. Yeah.
Matt (01:18:29.323)
She's got her three people, three levels deep. Yeah. But she's got...
Chris (01:18:33.39)
Kung Lao Owen Yo
Matt (01:18:36.535)
She's got Kung Lao under her branch, so she's gonna get the kickbacks from Kung Lao and he gets his money. Right?
Chris (01:18:39.395)
Mm-hmm.
Luciano (01:18:41.024)
Is that is oh, I see what you mean. Cause I just thought that was a euphemism for something.
Chris (01:18:43.042)
That's right.
Chris (01:18:47.131)
Amway!
Matt (01:18:48.131)
I mean, it might be. I think we've nailed this, I think. Yeah. Antway for real pumping. Moving on, we've established the answer and Mei is clearly the real villain.
Luciano (01:18:49.668)
For oil, for oil pumping? Is that what that?
Chris (01:18:51.988)
Yes.
You know? Oh she, she's the villain.
Luciano (01:18:58.133)
Clearly.
Chris (01:19:01.122)
Good job, writing team.
Matt (01:19:01.335)
All right, great job everybody. We have to ask this question. How does the physics in this world work? Now we have to talk about the jet engine that they use to make sandstorms and drive transport trucks around. It's like a transport with a flatbed, but it's not so important. Because, oh, and we didn't even dive into the French and grenades, and I don't know if we wanna go there. When the French attacked them in...
Luciano (01:19:05.972)
Uh oh.
Chris (01:19:06.254)
do it. I don't know what you're gonna ask.
Chris (01:19:27.406)
French?
Luciano (01:19:29.532)
We'll go there later if we have time. Sacrebleu!
Chris (01:19:30.958)
They're not worth it. Forget them!
Matt (01:19:33.492)
Wow. Okay. Let's just go with the physics. Pick how does this work. Someone explain to me how physics works.
Chris (01:19:40.77)
See, when you have a poutine, right, you put the gravy, you make sure the cheese curds are present and then you put the gravy. Listen, I accept that it's different.
Matt (01:19:45.507)
I just want you to know that's not French, that's Quebecois and it's very different. My wife would murder me if I didn't say this. And
Luciano (01:19:52.164)
true. I think it's in his it's no it's on his prenup. I'm pretty sure
Chris (01:19:52.79)
Well, thank you for that. But at the same time.
Matt (01:19:56.807)
and my sister-in-law, I think too. She's on the other side.
Chris (01:19:59.594)
Who listens to this podcast, really? Who listen? Do either of them listen to this?
Luciano (01:20:01.76)
For the reverse reasons.
Matt (01:20:03.839)
Yeah. My wife's been a guest on this podcast. No one listens, but she's been a guest on the podcast. Or the old podcast. Focus! Just focus, the old one. Who knows? Don't change the subject on me! Answer the question!
Luciano (01:20:06.473)
Nobody listens to this.
Luciano (01:20:11.072)
Not on this one. On the old one. HAHA
Chris (01:20:11.502)
This one?
Chris (01:20:17.374)
Listen up! This- I have a right to know what takes place on this car. Anyways, this car. I'm sorry I missed her. Um. You see, they're French. Must be Mayans.
Matt (01:20:30.211)
We're not talking about the French, we're talking about physics! We're talking about physics!
Luciano (01:20:30.417)
We're not talking about the French! What is wrong with you?
Luciano (01:20:36.584)
So the true answer to your question is physics doesn't work in this movie. But I think it's like what I was saying in the beginning, it's video game physics. Right? Like, you know, when you're playing a video game and there's like something you need to do as part of like the tutorial and no matter how badly you fuck it up, it happens. So that's the harpoon.
Matt (01:20:41.219)
Okay, fair enough.
Chris (01:20:50.186)
True. It's Looney Tune physics.
Chris (01:20:58.318)
Hmm.
Luciano (01:21:03.728)
from the buggy onto the bus, 100%. That's scripted, it's a quick time event. You just have to press square and triangle and square again and everything just happens for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's the video game physics in the beginning. And then, it's the rule of explosions are cool. So when you hit an oil tanker,
Matt (01:21:04.011)
Okay? Right.
Chris (01:21:11.723)
You missed it.
Even if you miss one, it still happens.
Matt (01:21:16.863)
Yeah, two out of three is close enough.
Luciano (01:21:31.972)
going on a perpendicular trajectory from you, when you hit it, it explodes because it's made of explodium. As everybody knows, trucks that carry oil are made of explodium. No, no, no. And it doesn't matter that, you know, just, you know, impact doesn't ignite oil in any way. But also, once the truck that's behind the truck you hit hits your truck,
Matt (01:21:36.322)
Mm-hmm.
Matt (01:21:41.218)
Uh huh. Yep.
Doesn't matter where you carry it in the back, in your fuel tanks.
Matt (01:21:54.086)
Mmm.
Luciano (01:22:00.904)
it immediately does a pole vault like a fucking Olympian. Right? And like it, not only does it stand up right, but it flies over. No, it explodes a couple of seconds after it, yeah, exactly. And then, and then you have John Cena fucking ejecting like a projectile out of a.
Matt (01:22:01.045)
Mm-hmm.
Oh yeah, yeah. Mm-mm. 100%.
Matt (01:22:12.596)
And it doesn't explode right away.
Chris (01:22:14.734)
Yeah.
Matt (01:22:18.319)
Yeah. Okay.
Chris (01:22:22.911)
Speak on it.
Luciano (01:22:29.1)
out of a window like we said and just get he gets up dust off his pants and go whoo that could have been a disaster.
Chris (01:22:29.847)
Cannonball.
Crash Test Dummy.
Matt (01:22:34.465)
Mm-hmm.
Chris (01:22:39.51)
Who mistake?
Luciano (01:22:41.649)
So I think we've established this is this is Metal Gear.
Chris (01:22:46.081)
WHAT?!
Matt (01:22:46.091)
I told you it was Metal Gear! I fucking knew it!
Luciano (01:22:49.065)
All of that at the end was like one of Kojima's like 45 minute cutscenes. That's what that was. No, I don't. I won't. Prove to me it wasn't.
Chris (01:22:50.611)
Let it go, Lorenzo!
Matt (01:22:55.715)
Tell me. Tell me it wasn't. Tell me.
Chris (01:22:55.746)
I said let it go Lorenzo.
Chris (01:23:02.286)
It's not Metal Gear! I'm telling Spencer all of this when he comes back!
Luciano (01:23:06.6)
It's, it's metal gear, the lost, the lost levels. That's what that was.
Matt (01:23:07.84)
Unless Kojima.
Unless Kojima comes out and tweets specifically he did not write or was not involved in hitting the strike in any way, you can't prove that it wasn't Kojima.
Chris (01:23:12.607)
Oh, haha!
Luciano (01:23:17.472)
Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
Chris (01:23:20.062)
I'm gonna check the IMDB cast that I will- I will thwart your bullshit now!
Matt (01:23:24.947)
No, that was just a pseudonym. You don't understand. Private consulting.
Luciano (01:23:27.307)
Yeah.
Chris (01:23:28.779)
Listen, if I see a Seymour Roas in the cast, then you're in trouble.
Luciano (01:23:33.028)
Hahaha!
Matt (01:23:33.827)
While you're Googling, we're gonna move on from this question because Luciano has cracked the code. I do have other questions. It's a shitty night of shooting him, 100%. Let's talk about the French. Chris, you were so desperate to talk about the French. Let's talk about them. The French show up to the little satellite cave. Close enough. And they are looking for the money for the weapons that Henry bought.
Luciano (01:23:39.476)
Why, it's a shitty 90s video game, is that? Is that what the code? All right, fair enough.
Chris (01:23:48.174)
I'm not desperate.
Luciano (01:23:50.38)
Ha ha ha!
Matt (01:24:00.395)
and they see Jackie Chan and Chris fighting each other and they decide to walk back out. But they get to their cars and they shoot the shit out of the place and then run away. You're led to believe that it's because they chased Chris and Jackie Chan, chased them off with grenades and such, but there's no way those grenades did anything. I want to know why the French had to leave so quickly.
This is where I think Chris talks about Putin, but I'm not sure.
Luciano (01:24:26.776)
You see how he pronounces? See how he pronounces Putin now? He gets slapped upside the head if he pronounces any other way.
Matt (01:24:27.159)
He's too busy trying to prove Kojima wasn't part of this movie.
Matt (01:24:33.072)
Yeah
That's right.
Chris (01:24:38.338)
See, the ancient Mayans.
Luciano (01:24:40.348)
Oh no, this shit again.
Matt (01:24:40.492)
No, wow.
Chris (01:24:43.074)
Don't worry about it. Let me cook. The French team was hungry as fuck. OK? Once you run out of woolets, you've got to reassess your resources and ask the real hard questions. We're this close to the highway of death. Right? Henry's not here. The brother of the.
Matt (01:24:55.291)
Mm-hmm. It's true.
Luciano (01:25:03.696)
I feel like that name needs a riff, like a guitar riff every time we sing.
Chris (01:25:07.962)
It does feel that way. Henry's dead. Do they even know that's his brother? And do they care? They tried to kill both of them. So they unloaded all their woolets and needed to assess how much time they had left before the signing goes down. We might as well get back and get something to eat.
Luciano (01:25:21.04)
Thanks for watching!
Matt (01:25:29.007)
Get that buffet before it closes down.
Luciano (01:25:29.124)
François, reload, reload the weapon. Yeah, I'm hungry, let's go get some baguettes. Okay.
Chris (01:25:35.81)
Correct, correct, and punch a hole in it and stick a leaner in, you know? And then you have...
Luciano (01:25:39.336)
Oh, Jesus Christ. Do a cup, do a cup. It, just do a couple of oil pumps and then be done. Ha ha.
Matt (01:25:41.54)
You know what, we could provide context, but we're not gonna. Yeah.
Chris (01:25:47.362)
You know, yeah, that's the... How many seconds of oil pumps into the baguette? Just one? Okay. Oily.
Matt (01:25:52.623)
couple one that's all you need gets the job done very efficient any other you know I don't care we're moving on we don't have time to this is good enough for me I have more important questions to ask the oil wars who the oil wars what the oil wars when the oil wars why the oil wars and most importantly wherefore out wherefore art thou oil wars
Luciano (01:25:53.6)
Yeah, one or two, one or two. Yeah.
Chris (01:26:03.269)
Hahaha!
Luciano (01:26:12.448)
Hahaha!
Luciano (01:26:23.008)
think the oil wars are not like they have this sort of like in the back where it's like all about like petroleum i think that that's a misdirection i think it's an a war between several different types of oil it's oh yeah you really don't lorenzo babe baby grape seed wait what lorenzo lumbos has an oil too
Matt (01:26:34.9)
Uh oh.
Matt (01:26:38.455)
I don't want to go here.
Chris (01:26:42.656)
Lorenzo. Grape seed. Lorenzo Lamis.
Matt (01:26:47.927)
What about Olive?
Chris (01:26:52.278)
Well, someone's gotta get paid.
Luciano (01:26:54.781)
I was going to say essential oils. Well, I mean, now we're just listing oils. So I think what happened was.
Matt (01:26:56.795)
Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Chris (01:26:57.237)
Uh huh.
Chris (01:27:01.67)
Linseed oil.
Chris (01:27:06.69)
Well, aren't we? No, I'm not. I'm just... I do whatever for the cast. Now let's see. The oil wars.
Matt (01:27:07.451)
Come on Chris, you're better than that.
Luciano (01:27:11.051)
None of us are.
Matt (01:27:11.867)
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Luciano (01:27:17.324)
Yeah, I think that that's what the escalating oil wars were. It's like the one oil to rule them all.
Chris (01:27:22.307)
We want.
Mmm, Wraith oil works well.
Luciano (01:27:26.38)
That's what it was. And then.
Matt (01:27:30.391)
Welcome to the oil hour where we just name different oils. We got sesame oil, flaxseed oil, coconut oil. Oh dear, coconut oil. It is jad. Jad, jad, coconut oil. I don't know where this accent's going, but now I'm JFK.
Luciano (01:27:33.273)
I'm sorry.
Chris (01:27:34.07)
Have you? And now we're gonna open up this fine vintage.
Where'd that flaxseed oil come from? Coconut oil, is it jarred or is it bot-held?
Chris (01:27:47.222)
Jad. I see. Or sounds like a Boston.
Luciano (01:27:51.56)
Yeah, I, that's, it's, I have no, yeah, I was gonna say, this JFK goes to Jamaica. Ha ha.
Chris (01:27:55.69)
I-er-a, would like-a-a party platter.
Matt (01:27:57.699)
I'm Spencer Spencer's channeling me. How do I get to Christopher Walken from here?
Chris (01:28:02.294)
Yeah. Haha. You know!
Luciano (01:28:05.861)
Well, you know! That's all everybody knows how to do. It's oil! I like it! It's good!
Matt (01:28:11.975)
You know, coconut oil is good for you. Moving on, let's... no. Oh my god.
Chris (01:28:17.309)
I'm sorry.
Luciano (01:28:20.373)
You give it a few seconds of pump and it's good, you know.
Chris (01:28:24.322)
You rub it in.
Matt (01:28:27.511)
We did it. We did it. We don't want to be here. No one wants to be here.
Luciano (01:28:30.331)
Hahaha!
Chris (01:28:30.862)
Yeah.
Matt (01:28:32.707)
Let's finish this up. We are at time, but we do need to give some reviews to this bad boy. We rank these movies on our patented time tested scale of a tier system. S is the top. Shut up. It's ours now.
Luciano (01:28:44.901)
Our- our PENTADOON!
Chris (01:28:50.616)
with the quickness. Oh shit.
Matt (01:28:52.887)
We go from S all the way down to F. F is the lowest for context. If you watch Morbius, you should consider that an F. Some people don't. We're not here to debate that. That's a different podcast. It was the first one. You should listen to it. But let's talk about Project Hidden Extraction Strike. Luciano, how are you gonna make this bad boy?
Luciano (01:29:15.708)
Oh boy. So this is a movie that managed to make, you know, action scenes with John Cena and especially Jackie Chan boring. It has no real story. There's more holes than plot. And the comedy is forced. The writing is atrocious.
I wish I could have my hour 45 minutes back in my life. Is this as bad as Morbius? No, because I think that a movie needs to actually try to be bad to be that bad. But it's close. Like it's I wouldn't like knowing what I know now, I wouldn't have watched this. I would have done this podcast episode. Brit. Yes.
Matt (01:29:53.901)
Wow.
Matt (01:30:00.315)
It Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
Chris (01:30:01.797)
Now that's what should go on the VHS box. If I knew what I know now, I would not have watched it.
Matt (01:30:07.131)
Hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe
Luciano (01:30:10.156)
I would have done this podcast episode pretending I had watched it and it would have been fine. Yeah, I would pull a Spencer. This is an E for me, almost an F. The reason why I'm not giving it an F is because, like I said, there are some genuine moments where I left a little bit here, a little bit there, and John Cena and Jackie Chan are charming, and they have a good banter. But yeah, that's the most I can do for it.
Matt (01:30:14.752)
Oh, the Spencer, as it were.
Chris (01:30:18.03)
Yeah
Matt (01:30:19.727)
Okay.
Chris (01:30:21.078)
Yeah, fine vintage.
Matt (01:30:38.511)
Alright. Thank you for effort. Chris.
Chris (01:30:44.818)
If not for our podcast and the joys of coming together to talk about what we, uh, co-experienced, I would have probably watched this and been more angry, but having watched it, knowing that it was a shared failure made it, it more enjoyable. So it's don't worry. It's not going to be a D it is not a C it's excessively exhausting. It's still an E for me.
Luciano (01:31:00.2)
Hahaha!
Matt (01:31:14.363)
Okay, nice.
Chris (01:31:15.262)
still an E. It could have been an F, but because I was coming to hang out with y'all and talk about it, that's why it's an E.
Luciano (01:31:20.889)
Yeah. You're like... Yeah. At least I'm not suffering alone so that makes it better. I see.
Chris (01:31:24.398)
Correct! Okay, shared traumas.
Matt (01:31:25.935)
Goodest... was the goodest reason as any, she had trauma.
Luciano (01:31:28.373)
Yeah.
Chris (01:31:29.386)
You know? Listen people.
Luciano (01:31:33.157)
Don't watch this. Don't. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Exactly. Don't watch it if you can help it. Give him a no hug. Hug your loved ones. Tell them you love them because yeah.
Matt (01:31:33.443)
You don't want to be out here in these movie watching streets.
Chris (01:31:34.91)
Don't do it. See.
Matt (01:31:38.979)
Go home to your pets, wives, friends, husbands.
Chris (01:31:41.982)
family, loved ones, video games.
Matt (01:31:46.264)
Yeah.
Chris (01:31:46.434)
Hide your wife, partner, hide your kids, and do something else. Listen to the, like, turn on the radio and find something.
Matt (01:31:49.656)
Hi to them all.
Luciano (01:31:55.052)
Cause it's TNT!
Matt (01:31:57.675)
Oh my god, don't do that. Um, this is why we do this for you. You could watch these movies ahead of time. You probably shouldn't. Just let us tell you about them and then you know about them. You never have to watch them. I will make this a clean sweep for the E category. The thing is, it's not an F because there are scenes and situations where the action isn't that bad and the banter is okay. It's...
Chris (01:31:57.898)
Yeah.
Chris (01:32:03.29)
You know. But you shouldn't.
Luciano (01:32:14.401)
Nice.
Chris (01:32:15.702)
E for excruciating.
Luciano (01:32:17.561)
Ha ha ha!
Matt (01:32:27.275)
just it's so it if it didn't make me if it didn't just reverse the thing it said immediately multiple times it could have maybe got to a D if it just had a fall like fucking paint by numbers generic action movie but it didn't but you know like it wasn't the worst thing I've watched and good for you Hidden Strike
Luciano (01:32:35.704)
Hahaha, yeah.
Luciano (01:32:51.504)
But talk about faint, talk about faint praise. You know, of all of the shitty things that are shitty, it's not the worst. Ha ha ha.
Chris (01:32:52.558)
What? Good for you. That's what you...
Matt (01:33:00.867)
You said, and I quote, if I knew, then what I know now.
Chris (01:33:00.942)
That.
Chris (01:33:07.934)
Yes, that's already been printed. I already, I have the Photoshop file now, okay, Luciano? Listen, and that dunk burst one of the greatest quotes ever. If I knew what I know now, I would not have watched it. You can't write better than that based on what we were given. We should have called it VHS or some shit.
Matt (01:33:10.194)
So don't fucking shit on my fame phrase.
Luciano (01:33:14.44)
Listen, I wasn't faintly praising, I was dunking on it.
Luciano (01:33:22.768)
I'm out.
Luciano (01:33:27.437)
Yeah, yeah.
Matt (01:33:28.079)
Amen.
Luciano (01:33:30.832)
Ha!
Matt (01:33:31.327)
Maybe we should have named our podcast that if we're honest.
Luciano (01:33:34.785)
That's true. No, we should call it hindsight is 2020s, but we should call this.
Chris (01:33:37.538)
VHS for that ass.
Matt (01:33:37.826)
Ah, fine.
Yeah. No, I like the long wordy title. If I knew then what I knew now would not have watched that movie.
Chris (01:33:45.87)
Yeah. This is our new bumper. This like... Yo. Um... Shit. There was something else but... Hmm. Yeah. Oh, I was trying to find your VHS piece for... But it's okay. He said, good for you! Good for you, HiddenStrike. That's what could've gone on the... Good for you, HiddenStrike! God, this is fu-
Matt (01:33:49.539)
That's what we do here.
Luciano (01:33:51.508)
Yeah, okay, okay.
Matt (01:33:56.055)
That's fine, we're moving on.
Matt (01:34:00.706)
Now we're past that.
Luciano (01:34:03.504)
Yeah, good for you. Yeah, that's good too. Good for you Hidden Strike. You're not the worst!
Matt (01:34:10.263)
You're welcome. Um, that is it for Hidden Strike. We never talk about this movie ever again. Ever again. Until Hidden Strike 2 comes out in which case we'll definitely watch that for you.
Chris (01:34:12.541)
Oh
Luciano (01:34:16.129)
Ever again, yes.
Chris (01:34:17.103)
I'll never again
We'll probably watch that too. Because you hope for John Cena and Jackie Chan, you know?
Matt (01:34:23.96)
We are.
Luciano (01:34:24.863)
Oh boy. I actually wanted a prequel called The Escalating Oil Wars and then somewhere else in the world it would be called Project Oiling the Bitches or whatever.
Chris (01:34:35.994)
I hate it. I only want John Cena and Jackie Chan to win.
Matt (01:34:40.167)
This is why you have to let me end this podcast, because if you don't, he keeps talking. We get that shit that happens. No, we're done here. Finally, we are next week going to, we haven't done, so facts are the movies we watched, as you all know, fantasy, action, comics. Some put comedy in there, some put some other seas, thriller, and sci-fi, and we really have slacked on the science fiction, so we are going to knock off.
Luciano (01:34:44.208)
That's true. It's true.
Chris (01:34:44.437)
You get turns like that! That's not even worth Lorenzo's oil, go on.
Matt (01:35:07.455)
number of those letters by watching avatar the way the water aka avatar to it is Streaming somewhere. I don't know HBO who owns it Disney it's on Disney plus based on what I'm looking at right now
Chris (01:35:13.09)
Yes.
Chris (01:35:17.664)
We'll figure.
Luciano (01:35:17.705)
It's streaming somewhere go fucking find it. It's streaming somewhere
Chris (01:35:21.342)
is it?
Matt (01:35:23.619)
The Stephen Lang vehicle, Avatar the Way of the Water. Yeah, sure. He died in the first one, I don't know how he's back. We're gonna find out.
Luciano (01:35:26.62)
Oh, is that what it is? Is that what it is? Yeah.
Chris (01:35:29.762)
That poor... Yo, Stephen Lang. I feel so bad for Sam Worthington. That mother can't get a leg up.
Luciano (01:35:38.3)
Yeah, it's true. It's true.
Matt (01:35:38.923)
Wow. Just you're just gonna do them like that. So we're gonna watch Avatar. What if I went next week on the podcast? Uh.
Luciano (01:35:45.989)
That's gonna be a long episode. I think given the movie runtime
Chris (01:35:48.406)
You called it the Stephen Lang vehicle, but it's all good.
Matt (01:35:50.143)
It's, it is, it is a Steven Lang vehicle. It's going to be a really long movie. We might talk a bit longer. We don't know. We, maybe we're going to find out if we had known now what we knew after we watched that movie.
Chris (01:35:55.662)
I'm gonna speed it up.
Hahaha!
Chris (01:36:02.358)
doesn't get that award.
Luciano (01:36:03.419)
We wouldn't have watched it.
Matt (01:36:04.907)
We wouldn't have watched it. We're gonna find out. All right, we'll see y'all later.
Chris (01:36:07.835)
Facts.
Luciano (01:36:10.648)
Bye!
Chris (01:36:10.786)
Bye.