Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
An energy blast incinerates a crew member’s leg, unleashing a conflagration that leaves only ash. A whispered heresy lingers: all is dust. Will they pay Chaos’ price for power? Also there are Orks.
Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: WH40K Black Crusade
System: WH40K Black Crusade
Creators and Guests
What is WarHams: A Chaos Odyssey?
Four Chaos Space Marines. One terrified Guardsman. A cursed ship hurtling across the galaxy. Join us for a Warhammer 40,000 actual-play TTRPG campaign using the Black Crusade system — hilarious, grimdark, and utterly unhinged. Which Chaos God will the Guardsman ultimately choose? Who will prevail in the end?
Do you have any food?
I've got an Emperor-class battleship.
Melt-a-guns, come get your melt-a-guns here.
Why does nobody want the grenades?
No!
No!
Did everyone go see the Warhammer preview?
Nope.
Sure did.
Was there another one?
The 11th edition one?
Yeah, 11th edition.
Oh, yeah!
I'm cautiously optimistic
because I think 10th was a pretty good edition
and I'm glad that they're not doing a ton of changes,
but at the same time, some changes are needed
and I'm hoping it's not a rerun of 9th edition
where it's like, oh, we had a halfway decent edition
and then they just add a bunch of shit on top of it
and create a monster.
I was laughing when I was looking at the previews
and I'm like, okay, circle objective markers, no more.
It is now terrain
and I'm pretty sure there's someone in the company
going just like losing their mind,
going, why is that?
No one buying our terrain.
Why did nobody buy our terrain?
And so they're like, I have an idea.
No more circles.
Fuck circles.
All my homies hate circles.
I'm like, put them in a box.
Put them in a corner piece,
like a rubble corner piece.
Forge the narrative.
Don't want your board game
looking like a fucking NASCAR advert.
Yeah.
It was really funny.
Cause I was,
I think I even had some drafts of getting us
like some circle ones.
Oh, I'm sure.
Bricky's stream was literally like him fucking pulling up.
He's like, shit,
I got people who are going to have these.
I was like, so what are you going to do
with the circle thing?
He's like, I had to contact someone immediately.
He's like, we have to shut that down potentially.
I don't know what happened,
if they're going to do it still or not.
Cause it's going to take a bit for 11th to come out,
but I'm,
I was like, Oh,
that's so funny.
Oh,
Bricky guys that made those old school fucking green templates.
But in the modern day,
I think,
I think the best moment of that in,
in word gaming history is still the LVO,
which was run by frontline gaming,
had a,
had a whole bunch of five by sorry.
Yeah.
Four by six table mats.
And this was before they like shrunk down the table size to like the 60
by 44.
And so they sold,
they were like,
Oh man,
you know what?
We just have so many extra table mats from the LVO guys.
We're totally like just discount clearing out a bunch of five by six
table,
like mats and people are like,
are you guys using insider information on the new edition to fucking sell
out of your table mats?
Like before the new edition rolls out?
They're like,
no,
no,
no guys.
Cause we have no special information.
And like fucking two weeks later,
GW announces like new table size.
It was like,
you ass.
Just to make sure you're okay with people hearing that.
Right.
Thurston.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was like,
it was,
it was so funny.
Oh man.
I love my frontline gaming people to clarify,
but,
but that was just like a time.
Well,
everybody welcome back to another episode of a chaos odyssey.
Hope everybody is having a lovely time.
Hey,
if you have laundry going,
you should probably,
probably switch that out.
You don't want,
you don't want to wait for you right now.
Yeah.
Unless you just,
unless you just put it in,
in which case,
wait until the end of this to do that.
Yeah.
Hold on.
I have an unrelated thing to go and do.
Okay.
Good luck.
Good luck.
Oh,
no.
Hey,
there's going to be someone who's going to go.
Oh,
oh my goodness.
If they didn't say anything,
I was going to forget tonight.
With how much of our audience has ADHD?
All of it.
Are you saying,
oh my goodness,
Odo,
are you throwing shade at our lovely listener?
No,
I'm saying that I relate to them.
Yeah.
You have to have a certain amount of autism to like us.
This is true.
This is not true.
Many people are saying this.
You're sitting on a pile of 12 tons of Kit Kats.
And if you are the person who stole that 12 tons of Kit Kat,
get in touch with me.
I like Domino's reply of saying,
hey,
Domino's response is really good.
But hey,
by the way,
you know,
unrelated,
we're going to start making a Kit Kat pizza.
I love it when the social media team gets like actual good things going.
Sorry,
don't go ahead.
No,
I didn't say anything.
I said,
I said that bad news is good news.
I said,
I said,
speaking of bad news,
it's time for the bad boys to get the plan.
It's a black.
Speaking of bad news,
we have to play chaos.
Odyssey.
Yeah.
I have to hang out with my friends and play a really fun role playing game
where I get to like,
even though we do this to support folks,
everything else,
but it's like one of the best jobs in the world.
And I appreciate everyone.
I love everyone here.
Fuck.
It sucks,
dude.
Yeah.
God,
what the fuck?
I could blow the fucking hit you.
He's got a gun to our heads.
Especially Hulky.
Everyone's rallying their chains.
Who does that?
What the hell have you done?
Yeah.
I didn't do anything today.
I told you not.
You know what?
No,
no,
no.
Fuck this.
Fuck this.
Hulky,
give me a willpower.
Yeah,
right now.
Fuck you.
I'm not giving you a willpower test again.
I don't need another mental illness.
He's being disobedient.
A human is disobeying.
Obey me.
Obey me.
Peel his fingernails off.
Teach me a lesson.
Obey.
I will give you a willpower test.
You have to do it or else.
Plus zero.
Minus.
Pile poop fees shows up and you're in trouble.
Yeah.
Pile poop fees is my favorite nerd light.
That's right.
Is there any bonus or penalty to this,
Thurston?
Plus zero.
It's a flat.
Oh,
flat test.
That's a flat.
That's a flat.
That's a flat.
That's a flat.
That's a rarity.
You got to treasure that.
Oh,
no,
I succeed on a bullshit test for three degrees of success at a 21.
See,
the best part is,
is now when I make you make a real willpower test later.
No luck has been used.
This is,
yeah,
this is my 90 chess.
No,
this is the willpower role for you.
Getting to just wake up today.
Yeah.
Oh,
not again.
Please let me go.
Probably wondering how I got here.
That's what life is.
I got myself in this situation as I think both of them are thinking that as
they're still sitting at the bar.
Last we left our lovely band of evil folk Thurston from where I saw what
eventually you have for us today.
Oh boy.
Well,
you,
you took the words right out of my mouth.
You are back.
The bar known as the,
Hydra's den.
You have been speaking with one of the,
the intrepid folks who was here.
The black Legion sorcerer,
Harrison silver tongue.
Who has given you some information on a region known as the hub,
which has recently appeared in the warp,
a kind of planet that is formed from,
from acts of extreme slaughter.
But everyone is trying to get there.
And if you want to get there first,
you're gonna have to get a specialty seer who can help you navigate the
way there.
There is one demagogue in the employ of the stations master,
the Harrow master unknown.
And you know,
that there might be possible to win the services of,
of this individual through a contest in the fighting pits.
That's where we left off with that information sort of being delivered.
We haven't really had a party follow-up to that.
So I'm going to give you time to sort of discuss your next strategies,
meet up with folks and kind of figure out what you'd like to do.
I think when we left off,
Stefan was trying to do something.
I,
I genuinely,
from the last time we did this,
I cannot recall what I wanted to do.
If you wanted to go to the bar and get a drink.
Yeah,
but I wanted to do something.
I,
I'm this is the,
this is part of the,
why I was a little bit dour is because I can't recall what I
wanted to do.
That's okay.
Life hosts with the information he has will just turn back to the
group,
uh,
you know,
info info in mind,
and we'll begin to inform his compatriots bit by bit,
wherever they're either assembled or kind of scattered.
It seemed like it seemed like we have an opportunity to find
our way to damn potentially if you go through the pits,
our info lies through that route,
leave it to the great lifers to sniff out an opportunity.
And how lucky for us.
What was required of us?
I believe for us to best someone in the pit.
Ah,
simple enough award for a spectacle.
I'm staring at Bethael.
How long does it take for him to smile?
Not very long.
I have many secrets.
All right.
I won't tell anyone that I,
that I timed the exact amount of time it took.
Hold on.
Roll with her.
Yeah.
I got to see.
Hold on.
You're you're right.
I do have to roll minus 10.
Willpower.
Thank you.
Game master.
Oh,
to Roshi secrets.
Yeah,
it does not take long at all for Beth.
I ought to just kind of smile and just,
well,
if that is going to get us where we need to be,
then I am happy to go to the arenas.
You do not even need to incentivize me.
Excellent.
Then if we are done here,
you're done with your business.
And this,
he looks around and just,
and if he had a facial expression,
it would be in disdain of the lesser,
you know,
it's like,
mm,
it's not space spring people.
Mm.
It's like of this feel.
Let us go and claim our charge.
Then it's one more thing that I think is worth considering.
If we're going into the arena,
I would very much like it that if the human were to accompany us,
he had something slightly higher caliber than a lasgun.
He has a chainsword.
Yes.
Yes, that's perfectly fine.
I much prefer a chainsword to a gun.
To a gun anyhow.
Yes, but you are eight feet tall and made out of meat and metal.
He is very small.
Well, he doesn't need to be tall in order to tear through something with a chainsword.
No.
Evgeny, speak up in your defense.
I can't hold all this water for you.
Evgeny is at the bar.
Are we all at the bar now?
He walked off.
I thought we were all at the bar.
I don't,
I don't,
I don't know where the spatial existence of everyone is supposed to be.
It's still supposed to be in the hider's den, but we're,
I went over to the bar to go talk to Cephas.
It's a big space.
You were at a table with Harithan and Leifos,
but then I suppose you went to the bar to speak to Cephas, like you said.
Yeah, I think, I think the flash forward may have bamboozled some people a little bit.
Yeah, we're split up into two groups.
We got Leifos, Byzantium, and Bethael talking at the table and then Cephas and Evgeny at the bar.
Yeah, we're split up into two groups. We got Leifos, Byzantium, and Bethael talking at the table and then Cephas and Evgeny at the bar.
Yeah, we're split up into two groups. We got Leifos, Byzantium, and Bethael talking at the table and then Cephas and Evgeny at the bar.
I'll look at the human names.
I mistook for Evgeny.
Oh, get away from me! Disgusting!
I'll push him down.
Oh, sorry.
It's so insignificant.
But I'll take a chainsword.
Oh, okay.
Good call.
You almost got a chainsword of the deal.
We don't have any to spare.
Oh, well, oh, that's right.
You have mine.
I forgot.
You're not like last time.
There's like memories of shame and shame hammer.
Alright, well, I'm bored.
Let's go get Evgeny killed.
Let's go get Evgeny killed.
Let's go get Evgeny killed.
Let's go get Evgeny killed.
Let's not put Evgeny in the pits!
I mosey on to Cephas and Evgeny, and I'll come up to both of them and go like...
What have Cephas and Evgeny been talking about up to this point?
So all of those horrible battlefield infections, I saw people's legs rot off,
So all of those horrible battlefield infections, I saw people's legs rot off,
and their arms constantly fingertips attack them.
Those were all, that was your grandfather's doing?
In a way.
Sometimes and infection is simply an infection, but sometimes it is demonically infused.
Other times, it's something else but all diseases within the grandfather's domain.
Other times, it's something else but all diseases within the grandfather's domain.
Every single one.
I see.
I see.
It's kind of horrifying, actually.
well, you just
…you're gonna Даже, I'm gonna get gone.
I'm not saying that I would care to be dead, but it's just meditating on that.
But, you're just.
so glib about all the infections and malaise and nastiness that comes with that how why that sounds
horrible i'm hardly glib about it i could talk at hours length days even weeks if i had to about the
joys and wonders of it all because it simply is what it is disease comes with warfare disease
comes with deaths effusing the corpses of the battlefield the ripest playground for
all kinds of microscopic beings demonic or corporeal depending on your luck one might
say i am gleeful about it because it is the beauty of the circle of life nurgal deals in
the cycle of life and death and in so doing disease plays an important role
As does everything within you. You're full of bacteria, aren't you? And they're not all killing you, are they?
Well, no, because they're in balance. Things in my gut that make me digest food, for example.
But they're not eating their way outside. They're not leaking fluids of any kind. It's normal to me.
Exactly, because it is not your time to have that happen yet.
There are a great many who have had that happen to them for one reason or another, and that is because it was their time.
Their apportioned fate to fall by the worms in their guts.
And because you haven't, he places his hand on the countertop of the bar as he leans a little bit towards him.
Because it hasn't happened yet, it is not your time.
I see.
It will all make sense in time.
I'm sure I'll understand your point of view a bit better in the future, but I hope you don't take this the wrong way when I...
I'd much rather keep everything, my countenance about me, a bit on the peach side, if you know what I mean.
My mortal friend, I must tell you this emphatically.
I am aware that those with lesser constitutions and lesser sensibilities...
...simply do not like the look of the joys and wonders of the great grandfather's gifts.
I am not so obtuse as to believe this to be folly.
It simply is.
But you will see the right way of it soon enough.
Especially if you choose to speak with me or the attendant or any of my other brethren or sisters in the system.
But of course, it is your decision.
All the other gods have their own sway.
I simply know that Nurgle is the most over-eyed...
...and therefore the most...
...powerful.
Well, if he's so powerful, you're so knowledgeable about it.
Can you tell me why my ear is itching?
Cephas will lean to the side.
Lucetrix will also lean to the side and give a Medicaid check.
Because she can do that and I fucking can't.
There's the...
Cool. Give me a plus ten.
Okay.
Okay, give me a second.
I gotta check what her...
...stat is for it, because it's not high.
I remember that much.
There we go.
No, not 1d dash dash.
This keyboard fucking sucks.
Yeah, 75. That's a failure.
Not quite enough in that case.
Could simply be blood flow.
Could be nothing. Could be a disease.
Could be flesh-eating bacteria.
You never know what's floating around these days.
I wouldn't worry about it.
Not so much worried.
You know, it's an expression I heard that when someone's talking about you, you feel your ear itching or burning.
I just didn't know if it was some other kind of...
...nergal malady or...
...maybe just superstition.
Please. That kind of superstition is beyond our grandfather's...
...interest. You'd be looking more into...
...zeench, if that were the case.
Hmm.
Lucitrix spits in her own drink.
If they look at Lucitrix in her...
...loogie chaser...
...with just abject disgust...
...of, oh, yeah, okay.
I'm assuming she's gonna drink that.
Yeah, she does.
But she will look at you with, like, puzzlement as you do so.
It's the kind of...
...Urndel, you've seen me make this face before...
...and it's just kind of a sad disgust...
...of, oh, okay.
What's happening?
What? Did I do something wrong?
Nope.
Not at all. And Evgeny'll down his whiskey.
The entirety of it.
Oh. Speaking of our...
...your ears potentially...
...burning, I believe I may see...
...the reason for it, as he...
...leans slightly back...
...from his seat and sees the rest of the...
...quartet approaching.
Yes?
Something on your mind, brothers?
Congratulations.
Oh, sorry, sorry.
Is something on your mind, guys?
Alright, we can't just, like, look at each other...
...across the table going, hey, am I gonna go?
It was just really funny. It was really funny.
Because it's like you all answered his question...
...at the same time with what was on your minds.
Lifos will extend a hand...
...as the president takes it. I am sorry...
...my Slaneshi...
...after you.
Congratulations...
...everyone!
Very soon, we're going...
...to have to take a little expedition...
...to the fighter pits.
Evgeny, do you have anything...
...nicer than a lasgun to bring...
...to a life-or-death quarrel?
I have a smaller lasgun in the form of...
...a laspistol, and I have a chainsword, sir.
That's so sad.
He has a crack grenade.
That's true.
I do have that, but that's a one-time use.
The chainsword is perfectly functional.
Yes, the chainsword's...
...not going to cut through ceramite armor, sir.
We need to get you...
...a bigger one.
I don't think I can use a bigger one.
Evgeny, the...
...paltry menials of this place...
...are equipped akin...
...to the solar auxilia of Yor.
I guarantee you...
...if we do a good look around...
...we can find you a halfway decent weapon.
There were those...
...the ones with the flame weapons.
Remember?
Are you rated for...
...flame weaponry?
I mean, I can use anything you give me...
...if it's big enough for me to use.
Anything larger, unwieldy...
...like a heavy bolter, then I mean, I'm...
...probably going to be sitting there...
...dragging that thing around like an unwieldy...
...hunk of metal.
My attendant would be willing to assist...
...with that, be a weapons team.
I would.
Can everyone give me...
...an awareness test...
...at minus thirty?
Oh, we must roll to be...
...aware.
That's going to be...
...really hard.
That's going to rate out to just be a challenging for me, right?
Because of my Auspex?
Yeah, you'll get the plus...
...tens.
Oh, you said minus thirty.
Okay, so in that case...
...and I will get to re-roll this.
Ninety-two. I am zoned out.
I'm going to roll now.
Nope. Seventy-nine.
We failed there...
...but I do get to re-roll.
I get to Hail Mary, hang on.
Wait.
It's based on perception, right?
Yep.
Okay, never mind. Lucid Trick's automatically...
...failed because her perception is one and I can't roll...
...an untrained ability at minus thirty and get...
...anything less than negative thirty-four.
I got a seventeen...
...with two degrees of success.
Excellent. You will fulfill my meme.
Like, just outside the hider's den...
...there's like a guy going around like...
...melt-a-guns, come get your melt-a-guns...
...here.
I was thinking about that too. I was like, we should probably...
...get him a melt-a-gun.
A melt-a-gun at this hour?
Oh boy, there's a grenade launcher!
On sale?
How convenient.
I'll take a look at you, Jenny...
...and I'll roll a minus ten willpower check.
Yes! Thank you!
Thank you for keeping the bit real.
Thank you. So, like, Byzantium...
...you see this, everyone else doesn't notice it...
...your teeth are like...
...chattering, but you just can't bring yourself...
...and the melt-a-gun man...
...walks off.
Oh my god.
I have many...
...secrets.
We know that, Byzantium.
You don't know everything.
Why do you keep saying this?
He simply does.
I would displease my god by revealing...
...what I know.
Uh, at the mention of...
...did you mention the grenade launcher...
...in character, Hulki?
No. No.
Oh, you didn't. Okay.
No, there's no grenade launcher, there's just...
Uh, someone mentioned a grenade launcher...
...and I thought it was you.
No.
Because I do have someone who could loan you a grenade launcher.
That is true.
This dead guy, you kill...
...someone in the bar with a grenade launcher?
No. No, I literally mean...
...my shitty little minion...
...in her greasy, rotten mitts.
Well, no, there was, um...
...what were they called, Thurston? They were like the Conflagration?
The, uh...
Yeah, yeah, yeah, the Endless Conflagration.
Yeah, the Endless Conflagration.
The, uh, the Renegade humans...
...who had all the flame weapons.
Yeah. Yep.
The Kindling, as they're referred to.
The Kindling.
We still have not seen...
...the Endless Conflagration and the Kindling.
They might have some flame weapons...
...that our friend can use.
Why, may I ask, is it imperative...
...you be equipped with a flame weapon?
Because we need to win...
...in the pits, and...
...well, I would be more than...
...happy to be our sole representation.
I don't know if we can get away...
...with that.
Uh, I must again inquire...
...what about a flame weapon is particularly...
...meaningful...
...here?
It doesn't have to be a flame weapon. I've been on fire before.
It's unpleasant...
...to be on fire.
I mean, speak for yourself, but yes.
I've been on fire before, it's not very...
...fun. I was on fire...
...only, uh, what seems like...
...a few months ago, at this point.
It wasn't too bad. I'll be honest, I'll be honest, I didn't think...
...you noticed. I...
...was bright.
Ah.
So?
Regardless... I suppose that is up to Yevgeny.
We must equip you...
...and try to find...
...an excellent weapon for you.
We won't find it standing...
...around here.
Let's go out to the market...
...making a look for something, Yevgeny.
I mean, you could...
...hit me a Meltar...
...plasma gun.
I think that's pretty good at punching through Ceramite.
Okay!
He will grab him and drag him again.
Why did you stop doing this?!
...
...
Who the hell's going to jog behind them?
We're so lucky that he's so small.
And I will follow with a...
...transitory look towards the Meltagon...
...sailspin.
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
his 20s, it was gonna blow, but
maybe...
It's 91.
91.
It's almost
as though you catch the briefest glimpse,
but then Byzantium shakes
it off and is on to the next sensation.
He has
embraced this sensation
of unrelenting mental
anguish.
That's true. I'm experiencing
immense distress, and it's
getting me.
Brand.
Wow, that's cool.
You're welcome.
I'm
hoping that
that wasn't just out of character.
That just kind of got beamed into Evgeny's head.
I just want him to suffer a little bit more today.
Oh, of course.
Yeah, of course.
Like, in fact, it's all of the
other weapon-like stalls that you pass
by that are, like, closed for business
signs are up right now
that just kind of reinforces
just how hard it would be for you to get
a weapon, Evgeny.
Well, we certainly tried our best.
Well, I guess it's time to go off to the
fighting pits. Someone has another
chainsaw. Bethael, you have a chainsaw
that's bigger than my body, right?
Yes.
Yeah, I could just...
I can use that. It's fine. It'll work.
It'll work. Evgeny,
if you would like something that is more
capable of dealing with things that may
be resistant to gunfire
from your weapon, I'm certain my attendant
could loan you her grenade launcher
and our
blessed grenades.
As he holds out that small, severed head
with its eyes stitched shut
with all the horrible nonsense around
a blight grenade, just
in the palm of his big metal
hand towards Evgeny.
I don't know
if I want to touch that.
I'm assuming the blight grenade
is like many, which is like a severed
head with a charge stuck into it.
Yes. That is what the blight
grenade last I recall, and I don't know
if it's how it is in BC, but I
know that those toxin blight
grenades are just severed
heads filled with awful nonsense
that also explode.
Here, if you would like to
try the chainsword, there's
mine and there's Byzanty's,
and Bethael's gonna turn it over
and hand the hilt to Evgeny.
Are you relifting my chainsword?
No, I'm keeping
yours. He's taking mine.
Oh, okay. What?
Are you giving him an Astartes
chainsword? They're both Astartes
chainswords. It doesn't matter.
Okay.
It's beautiful.
That's a thing of beauty.
Thurston, what kind of check
do I need to see if I can lift
an Astartes grade chainsword?
Can you lift an
eviscerator?
I feel like this exchange
should be from orcs.
You don't got a big enough weapon.
Here's a bigger one.
You better carry it
and it's like
If I recall
correctly, I think it counts
as like one higher so you
can only use it two-handed
and I think
you take just a flat minus
30 penalty on all weapons
skill tests because of how
improperly scaled it is.
That's so weird
because you can get a human
sized eviscerator, but the minute
you get a space marine chainsword, it's like,
oh, it's too much.
It's too big.
Well, it's like the grip and stuff,
like the handle.
Everything's like scaled incorrectly.
Yeah, but you could just use both hands.
Well, you have to do that just to use it anyways.
I know you have to do that with an eviscerator, too.
Yeah.
Well, yeah.
There's a difference between lifting up
a chainsaw with a longer blade
and lifting up a lawnmower's engine
with a bigger blade.
Ah.
Yeah, but I was going to kind of cross his arms
and like incline his head.
I don't think that's going to work.
Evgeny's going to half this thing up like,
all right, lifeless, okay.
I will gingerly take the chainsword from you,
Evgeny, and hand it back to Bethael to go.
The weapons that he's been trained with
will give him a better chance to live.
Have some belief in him.
He might be able to become
an even better warrior than some of us one day.
That is the end I would like to work towards.
I have faith that Evgeny will be a warrior
worthy of this warband.
And if he doesn't,
the memories will live long past him.
The humming and hawing over the chainsword aside,
would you like a grenade or not, Evgeny?
No, I will pass on that, but thank you.
The offer is very much appreciated.
I'm just a little...
I've worked with a lot of corpses in my time,
but something just kind of squicks me out about that.
If you're going to be part of our warband, mortal,
you're going to have to get past your squeamishness
one way or the other.
Not every opponent we will fight in the pits
will be wearing ceramite.
Yes, and they will die just as well to poison.
Whatever opponent he can...
Hmph.
Well, I think...
Well, I think... Well, I think...
that if his opponent is not wearing ceramite,
then his chainsword will do just fine.
It tears flesh perfectly right, yes?
Well, yeah, it's a chainsword.
I mean, it must.
If it didn't, why would they ever give it to us?
Exactly.
Cuts through most combat armor,
just not space marines particularly well.
So then, if we are to go into the arenas together,
we will ensure that Evgeny has an opponent
whose skull he can take,
and then we will work our way up.
And we will find out what we should do
once we're at the arena,
and then, with that intelligence,
we'll be able to soar with our opportunities.
He looks at...
What he said.
He looks at the sky of...
The speaker's trying to say something.
Everyone, I have terrible news.
What?
You have many secrets, Chartsu.
I am extremely bored.
Let us move.
Lifehouse turns around, not caring, like, he's like, ugh.
Lifehouse turns around, not caring, like, he's like, ugh.
Lifehouse turns around, not caring, like, he's like, ugh.
Lifehouse turns around, not caring, like, he's like, ugh.
Lifehouse turns around, not caring, like, he's like, ugh.
I need stimulation!
He hands you the spinny fidget spinner.
Oh, goddammit.
Here you go.
Yeah, I'll use all of my Auspex senses
to exude all possible sensation from the fidget spinner.
That's great.
I'm sorry.
I'm fucking at the series.
It just popped in my brain.
It was like a missile.
I couldn't stop it.
Oh, anyway, we're gonna...
For once,
Byzantium and I are of the same mind.
Let us go.
We begin to head towards the Fighting Pits, I assume.
So, we are on our way.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
You make your way towards the arena on board.
It takes, like most areas here,
it takes some time for you to arrive at your ultimate destination.
The pits themselves are sort of this...
Roughly circular, almost more octagonal display.
There's a viewing gallery up top where,
probably elevated about 10 meters,
looking down into this blood-spattered central arena area.
As you come in, there are...
There are figures moving around in the arena itself.
What you see is a group of mortals.
They appear to be armed with weapons.
Armed with a, like, mishmash of weapons.
Some laths.
There's at least one of them that's wielding some kind of, like,
two-handed power.
Not like, like a stick, but like a spear.
But the, like, the end...
It's wood, but there's like a power blade at the end of it.
And they are fighting two Adeptus Astartes in, like, vibrant orange armor.
And as you come, come in, they are just tearing through them,
and there's sort of cheering and shouts.
There are members of, of the Heretic Astartes in the, in the audience watching.
There are various mortals, many of whom are throwing down bets and disparate currencies.
That's what you see as you approach here.
Oh, shit.
I should have put a huge bet on ourselves.
Well, we haven't got to that part yet.
So you still have an opportunity.
Hmm, you make a good point.
All right, give me a second.
And I'm going to be looking for any possible opportunity to put a bet on ourselves.
Yeah, you, you, you can, you can find, like, a bookie generally pretty quick here.
There is, like, a, there is a ratling.
Um...
Who both of his legs have been, like, amputated.
Uh, sitting on, like, this just throne of cushions.
Um, with two ogrens standing to either side.
One has their face entirely covered by some kind of, like, chrono gladiator mask.
The other one just has a giant crab claw.
That's pretty cool.
It takes up at you as you approach.
It takes up at you as you approach.
Hello there!
Good evening.
I'm hoping to place a bet on myself and my compatriots as we are soon to enter the arena.
Hmm.
Your compatriots.
Those ones over there who came in.
Okay.
You know, I think we could arrange something.
Um...
Do you have any food on you?
What is the maximum bet that you're willing to accept?
And return on?
Oh.
Do you have any food?
I've got an emperor class battleship.
You don't.
Okay.
You don't have that.
It's not yours.
Yeah, but he has many secrets.
Maybe he does.
Cephas walks over and kills Byzantium with a powerful sword.
What kind of Byzantium?
Like, what kind of negotiator is Byzantium?
All right.
First opening bid.
I bid my homeworld.
What?
I bid my homeworld.
I bid my homeworld.
I bid my homeworld.
I bid my homeworld.
I bid my homeworld.
I bid my homeworld.
I bid my homeworld.
I bid my homeworld.
I bid my homeworld.
What?
I bid my house!
You don't understand!
Because it's victory or death.
That's fair.
That's fair.
So of course I'll all in.
That's fair.
All in.
All in.
All right.
Besides, if they want the ship, it's their problem.
So Cephas- Yeah, that's how you get out of the curse.
Yeah, totally.
True!
Cephas is gonna walk over and deck him in the head.
Yeah, are you really?
What the hell are you doing?
Why are you betting our whole ship?
Because we're going to win, you dilettante.
dilettante i'm not talking about talking in character i'm talking out of character i'm
losing my mind why am i betting the ship because we're gonna win and if we lose we die
i wanted you to say out of character now i was like no because we're gonna win dig you dilettante
all right sure if we lose the ship that's really funny i i know
my fucking immersion shattered into a million pieces with this pit
i can't believe that a solid as she would do something reckless
what's harry on the whole ship boy well ah it's gotta be it's gotta be something something else
though and like like this ratling's eyes go over like your group right um and then like
just like
Byzantium, Lyphos,
Cephas nearby,
over to
Bethael, and then
like a radar hawk just
goes on to Yevgeny.
He's probably like staring around
just like, do-do-do-do.
Yeah.
I got an idea.
You want me to bet Yevgeny?
No, no, no.
You put him in the pit.
Just him?
Yeah.
And what do I get in return?
You put him
against one of our green skins
and
what could I
offer you that you would want?
I want the crab claw,
Ogryn. Do you happen to have
a complement of
Do you happen to have a complement of
Doomfire
Bombers or Dreadclaw
Assault Boots?
Yevgeny will put his hands up.
I'll fight the pit.
He stares at you.
I'll fight the pit.
I want that one.
I want a melt gun.
The crab claw guy, is that who you point to?
The crab claw Ogryn?
The crab claw Ogryn
points at the crab claw itself like me?
Yes, you.
You want hands?
You called it.
That's kind of funny, actually.
Very ironic.
That's pretty good.
I would ask for the three of you.
But I feel like I'm not going to get you, bookie.
So I'll take one of your bodyguards instead.
You got hands.
Ah.
If I win, I get an emperor class battle.
All right. Sounds good.
See, we all walk out of here happy.
Bethael is snarling so bigly at Yevgeny.
You're going to the pit?
Proud dad moment incoming.
I've been cannon fodder for worse things before.
I've killed things bigger than.
Simple greenskins.
If it's not, if it's not a war boss, then we're probably OK.
That's the spirit that he's like shaking his shoulder.
You've got this.
This will be a fine day here.
I'll give you a special bubble to ensure your success.
You're giving me the first gem.
Yeah, I'm giving you the first gem.
Here's my curse amulet that tortures you and corrupts you.
Oh, my God.
Don't let it go to your head.
Oh, this is.
Sorry, I was imagining this.
Seriously, as long as it's not a war boss, it's fine.
I'm just imagine it's some WWE entrance of gore guts coming in like.
No, even worse is fucking snick rot.
Hold on a second.
How how fast until the end the battle exactly?
How fast? How fast until the battle?
Am I losing my mind?
How fast until the battle?
How fast until the battle?
I got an English degree, right?
I got up.
I went to college to be that stupid.
Say my five.
Oh, um, well, OK.
The the rattling sort of choose.
And I could get him in there pretty quick.
I'm going to look around.
Give me give me give me an hour.
He'll be up.
All right. Understood.
I'm going to hand the beguiling.
Gem to Evgeny Evgeny Slanesh will preserve you.
Everyone else, give him your stuff.
I'll be right back. Running full tilt.
I'm going after that.
Melting good merchant.
I'm going to get as fast as possible.
Yeah, I'll be laughing tonight.
Well, it's like I believe in you, but also here's this.
Melting gun.
Like, OK, OK, OK.
You do not need some slanesh bubble.
You'll be fine.
You say this.
Evgeny is already over at Cephas being like, hey.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What's like what's
what's like for the Cephas thing?
The the screen like darkens, right?
Like Evgeny like cuts to a picture of like your hand holding the beguiling gem
and like a telltale like option screen appears and is like,
do you use Byzante's gem or do you prove yourself without it?
I will prove myself without it.
I'm going to keep it on my person as a badge of honor that you trust me with it.
But I I'm not just like put it in your pocket.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yep. Yes.
Then you then you turn to go to Cephas.
OK, I really don't want to touch one of those things, but.
I don't know how big of an orc they've got somewhere in that pit.
And they're probably susceptible to other diseases,
despite being a blight themselves.
I may ask for your pity as a backup.
It's hardly pity, but if you wish one.
Lucidrix.
If you don't want to touch them, you can also hold them by the ring.
It's at the top of the skull here.
And she literally holds it out on her middle finger.
And there's just like a ring attached to like a plant, like a like it's seated
into the top of the skull of the shrunken disease filled head that's just dangling there.
Great.
And Evgeny will gingerly hook one of his gloved hands through the ring
and bring it to his belt so carefully and hook it onto a carabiner.
Would you like me to pray that you get a disease or pray that you don't?
That I don't. I would rather not get any further.
Diseases understood.
She said, I appreciate you.
You know what, Lucidrix?
I appreciate that.
I appreciate you asking.
And that means a lot. That's choice.
We'll get him yet.
The stuff is just snapping his fingers on.
Yeah, I was like, Oh, shucks.
I mean, let me let me deduct another blight grenade from my inventory.
I'm down to 90.
I'm going through them, man.
Going through them.
You're going through.
All right.
Where?
Where did Byzantium go?
He ran off.
Who knows?
On all fours, like making my way, just barreling
past into people, throwing people over the side.
Just fucking go in.
You might not be small, but that boy's a beast.
I got that full of Stardy's battle.
Like, what's what's the effect that when Stardy's moves so fast for how big it
like makes people freak out?
Oh, a transhuman dread.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm inflicting that full scale everywhere I'm going.
And he's in first children, so he's double fast as fuck.
Basically, um, all right, all right, all right.
Give me an awareness test.
All righty then.
At minus 20, so minus ten with your with your
minus ten.
OK, yeah, let's rock.
All right.
That first one is a failure, but I got a good feeling about this next one,
which is an even bigger failure.
No, you're like you're
desperately looking around for the melting gun merchant,
but he is nowhere to be found.
Was he a figment of your imagination?
You don't know.
But I know who does have a melting gun.
I'm not going to.
I'm going to try and not waste any time.
OK, I'm going to try and run back to the ship.
What?
Because we just got a troop of 800 guardsmen.
Oh, right.
Somebody's got to have a melting gun.
So I'm going to grab a melting gun from them and I'm going to.
Is it feasibly possible that I get their impact?
I'm going to get my impact back in in in like 30 minutes.
One sec.
If I if I if I make an athletics check.
Well, it's honestly, this is honestly a very funny thing to ask,
because knowing 40K, it'd be like you actually had to walk for a day
to get back to your shit.
Yeah.
I'm already a.
I need to.
What's that?
He comes back a week later.
I got a melting gun.
They didn't have one.
That would be even funnier.
It would.
Oh, gosh.
You know what?
Just give me a plus ten intelligence check.
You got it.
I believe.
All right, that's a 94.
You absolutely know for a fact you will be able to run to this ship.
You are so fast and so perfect you are going to be able to get to the ship.
Get a melting gun, be back in time, probably to get good seats, too.
Oh, that's a good idea.
Just to make sure.
Can I run so fast I inflict wear and tear on my body?
Yes.
Like, I'm willing to take fatigue in order to make sure I get there in time.
I'm willing.
Byzantius committed to this bit.
He would actually rip off one of his arms.
He would rip off one of his arms to make sure this happens.
All right, perfect.
Yeah, we'll we'll come back to that.
Excellent.
I'm sure it's going to go great.
Well, we'll we'll check back in on this after the battle.
Now onto the battle.
Yeah.
So back to back, back, back to the two.
OK, so Evgeny, you've pocketed the gem.
You've gone up to Cephas.
You've got that.
Is there anything else you're doing before?
Lifos?
Yes.
You're a soothsayer.
You're a sorcerer.
You could probably you've seen the future before.
I feel like that's within your purview.
He flutters his cape.
I'm glad you have recognized the talents of the almighty.
They are all powerful.
He puts a finger to your lips.
They are all powerful.
Lifos the Magnificent.
I was about to say, you opened that door.
I roll it, I roll it during the Horus Heresy, OK?
No, I know, I know, but it's, it's like, it's like, Evgeny.
I'm adding on to the joke.
No, I know, I know, and I'm adding on to it now.
Additionally, we're both adding on to it.
Evgeny, you can't just walk up to, to glaze the guy and not expect for, you know, the rest of it to come out, too.
I know, it's for the bit.
I know, it's all for the bit.
We're all on the bit.
Congratulations.
We're all on the bit.
It's the bit.
Bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit, bit.
That's right.
That's right, Greg.
This can't wait a month.
Bep.
But yes, how can I help you?
I don't suppose with your prescience, yeah, I, um, I don't suppose with your prescience you might be able to give me a creative edge on the fight ahead?
At least knowing who I'm fighting.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh, Evgeny.
I would be more than happy to assist you if I purchased that psychic power when we leveled up.
Fuck!
There's literally a psychic power for exactly that, and I've had to fix our stuff so much I've lost track, so I think I could get it, but I'm too scared if I'm wrong.
So that'll be up to the mercy of Thurston, in which it's understandable if he says, nah, man.
Otherwise, we could try to look to all Thurston and go, would a science science help out?
Evgeny, the screen darkens around you as a telltale option appears in front of you.
Dang!
Do you take the pity of the chaos gods?
Or do you prove yourself?
Or do you prove yourself?
Uhhhh.
You should take pity, because that gets me a psychic power.
That's what I'm getting out of you.
Truly a chaos wizard.
Yeah.
Yeah, clearly.
I've been getting this in thoughts into your mind.
Take the fucking deal.
Bethael is staring so bigly.
No, you don't need to take it.
Fuck that guy, all right?
Don't take the powers.
I want more power.
Don't take the powers.
You be weak now.
Be a bitch.
Blink, blink, blink, blink.
I've spent so long being weak.
Yeah, do it longer.
If I was weak, if I was stronger, I could have saved my men.
I could have saved my unit.
I could have put a bullet in that Inquisitor's head.
I don't need their pity.
I'm better.
Are you saying this out loud as you're beginning?
Yes.
He'll do it down to you.
My boy.
You must understand that it's not a weakness to take power.
In fact, it'll give you the advantage.
If you were able to seek out these opportunities, maybe then you could have saved your friends.
Maybe then you would have the power to even bring them back.
Allow the Zinj to take hold and change your fate and give you the chance of victory.
Because what else is there to prove if you're a dead man?
Existence is the struggle to exist, Lyphos.
If I do not prove myself and my right to exist, I will never be able to do it.
If I do not prove myself and my right to exist, I will never be able to do it.
Then I never stood a chance in the first place.
One way or the other, whatever I take from Zinj will go back to him in time.
So I will not take from him.
I will enter the pits.
I will take the life of whatever horrible greenskin is down there.
And I will breathe in the stink of its decaying flesh, knowing that I am alive.
And I will breathe in the stink of its decaying flesh, knowing that I am alive.
Spoken.
It is not.
Like a follower of Khorne.
I see Bethael has played quite an influence on you.
No, not me.
His own strength, yes.
Serve as one little peon in a sea of billions.
And you have to fight your way to survive every single day, Lyphos.
And you have to fight your way to survive every single day, Lyphos.
And you have to fight your way to survive every single day, Lyphos.
I don't know if you even have before you became this.
But when you're nothing, every path leads up.
I don't relish killing.
I really truly don't.
I just have to do what I have to do to survive.
I really truly don't.
I just have to do what I have to do to survive.
You've given me and all my thousands of years of, well,
He kind of takes the skull and turns it as if it's turned over to the empty spaces where his,
his choice.
Turned over to the empty spaces where his face would be.
Thurston, if you would allow me for this,
can I do like a sort of like a willpower test
or a science thing to kind of like do like a sort of projection
of what life foes would have looked like before all the oh-noes happened?
Yeah, sure.
I'll give you a willpower at plus 10.
But if you roll any doubles, it's perils.
Well, sorry, psychic phenomena.
Gotcha.
I'll have the plus 10, the focus thing automatically do it.
So plus zero on this.
And it's 96.
Well, you try.
It's not your skin and stuff is just not it's not it's not it's not forming correctly.
In fact, it's one of the hardest things you found to try to do
is it just every time.
You try to do it.
It doesn't work.
It's less a scan.
I was trying to make like a psychic holographic like projection.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But like to create that vision, like you're having troubles.
Yeah.
Like begins to flicker and mess up.
And he says, I've seen so many of you perish, Evgeny.
So many of you try to prove themselves to the galaxy.
As much as they could get themselves a beat of glory.
You soon find that it all just fades away and you see the as a punctuating the failed vision.
Like it goes and stuff like I try to take care of people and prosper.
Many of them died in my arms when the world surrounded us all.
And even before and even before.
And all the way to now.
You know, Evgeny, I see much potential in you, but if you wish to take the risk, that's your path to choose.
Always know you have options on the table.
And Lifos will stand up and he'll fold his arms.
He looked down at you a bit disappointingly, but a bit proud.
And he'll say.
Best of luck at that exact moment, Evgeny, you feel a large prod in your back, left shoulder.
Yes.
You turn around to see hands with his crab claw pushed into you.
OK.
They're ready for you.
All right.
I'm going to take the rest of the way.
Say any last words.
That's right.
Gotcha.
Gotcha.
And he parsing wisdom.
This will not be your last words, Evgeny.
Fight well.
Bathe.
We cut to Byzantium running through the umbilical.
He hasn't even boarded the ship yet.
Oh, my God.
Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
Oh, hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Hey.
Yeah, that's that's that's what's that's what's going on.
We kept back to the last words.
Steve.
Jenny.
Damn.
I've already said mine.
Well, good.
I need to go.
Yeah, I like I like that.
Have fun in there.
Get out of trip.
They all stare at you.
So you've getting you're like like like hands takes you into the side like corridor that leads
to like a small like elevator
that goes down and you stand awkwardly
in the shadow of this Ogryn
who just looks down at you and like
puts the crab claw kind of gently
but also slightly biting into your
right shoulder
I don't think you're gonna win
come on man
can you run that
by me one more time Hans
oh I'm sorry
sometimes I don't enunciate
well I said I don't
think you're gonna win
I think the green skin is gonna
kill you and that's
sad cause I think I
like you
well Hans you're slightly
mistaken I understood everything you said
but you were missing something
as a part of that and do you know what that is
no I don't
what you should have said is
I don't think
you're going to win sir
because you're
joining my unit when I walk out of there
with that green skin's blood
all over my armor
I haven't been in a unit for a while
not since the war
oh the war never
ended Claus
Hans
yeah same difference
Claus was another guy
he's dead
did he have regular hands
no he had four sets of arms
that's
significantly less humorous
and ironic
he died
did you die
did you die
did you die
did you have a name before
or were you always just
whatever they called you
Hans
well I had
one of them serials
they called me Hans
cause before I had this he clicks the like
cram claw
I had real hands
and that's when I used him to kill my sir
he tried to make me go
in the back of that chimera
and I didn't want to go
it's so dark and scary in there
Evgenio put his hand
on his hand
on Hans's like elbow
because it's the closest thing to him
that's big enough
yeah
you did you did what you had to do to survive
I know those are very scary boxes
if you're my sir never put me in a box
or I'll kill you
we will figure out how to get you back to the spaceship then buddy
it's just a bigger box
I never thought it would be that way
am I on a box right now
yeah I was gonna say you're in a box right now actually
uh oh
uh oh
I don't mean to tell you this
but okay you need to go now sir
you just walked out of that hole
you are the sir put you in a box
make sure he learns his lesson
go get him champ
and Evgenio will walk off towards the pit
alright
as he's walking down this
hallway towards the actual arena
he's gonna think
oh fuck
I've just been flying by the seat of the bus
I've just been flying by the seat of the bus
I've just been flying by the seat of the bus
my pants isn't tight time haven't I
oh
well
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know
it's like my sir always said
get busy
living or
I didn't say the last part
but I knew what he meant
let's
let's go
it's too loud inside my own head
I want to kill somebody
there's cheering
as Evgenio walks out
into the sort of
like connecting bridge that leads to the central octagonal platform um the guardrails have been
raised up um there's like jeering and shouting from an audience above you've getting you can
look up but you see like spotlights blinding you you're pretty sure you can see the silhouette of
some of your companions up there though it's really hard to keep focused for a while um
but you you you definitely hear the vox augmented voice all right so here we have
you've gunny you've gunny the guardsman uh recently taken from the imperium he's come
here to prove himself everybody let's hear it for you've got boo boo and like a lot of people
are just like booing you i'm making the declaration
you
okay no one cheers this is one guy that goes
oh that that's good because that means maximum return on our investment
yeah that's true are we are we in the audience thurston yes yeah yeah and the one person who
goes woo just be lucitrix not even the three of us are saying anything yeah
and then the three of us just look over hold it down hold down
i
have some bad news everybody bad news we were gonna have a rough and tumble green skin
taken from the soil of armageddon to fight here but sad news everybody that green skin came back
with a lot of radiation poisoning it's not really a fair fight to send that green skin in
i'm please
we went to the nearby feral world of baron where we got a baron orc boy which are known to be a far more dangerous specimen of orcs
whoo
yeah
tricks that's bad oh right forgot there's a shirtless guy with and they're dumb they're
so dumb apparently sackers can't even mess with them y'all okay just in case lapos tries to do
something during the combat yeah fuck you this is still really funny to me because i do remember
them saying there are no there are no americans in warhammer 40k and thurston has whipped out like
four it's great i want they're all in the chaos side of things i want one guy in the audience to
like stand up his shirt's off he's got like green skins painted on his belly and stuff like that
he's banging it horrible human drum
all right what walks out and and i
don't have like an appropriate art piece for this instead i'm gonna use the uh this lovely little
art oh yeah lovely our fire jurors do we all love and do yeah yeah yeah yours uh but the orc that
exits is um a far larger specimen um has far less armor in fact is wearing like hide um there's
notable like red tattoos on his bulging green biceps like there are squigs
racing squigs and like checker patterns that have been tattooed onto him thurston he comes out yes uh
you said he's wearing hide right yeah hide armor how's he gonna how's hulk you gonna see him
oh oh i see i'll leave it i'll leave i'm sorry
and lifehose is ripped apart by invisible demons in front of everyone
in the comments
he's got he's got some kind of like simple like pistol gun in his right hand um in his left he
carries a large choppa um like as he comes out looks up like shows the guns briefly and like
kisses his bicep then like kind of does like a muscle pose as both of his arms tighten and
go in front of his chest as he stares ahead at you you know he's on just what i did why did k descobaven
who isgor i actually had an aquarium because i really wanted to do it today cool holy aprèsolly
that looked super cool but can i use that might move to stereo if i have something like that
i'll give you the take in that out as took it xzhammer is it�ona that really feels cool oh isgor back
though i really wanted to do it i honestly just couldn't because i loved xz accumulate that
she picked christmas car and did eric and still just died nobody could give a fucking hand that
you you've genny why is he doing that oh that's weird why is he looking at me i'm gonna i'm gonna
put you on the combat map here you've getting my friend i'm fighting the giant obelisk of orc
yes you are um you can uh you can evgeny roll me initiative
you will beat the orc handily at that without yeah handily handily uh the orcs ice and head
snap up towards you it seems to be ready to charge what are you doing you've getting
uh evgeny is going he's 10 meters away from you is the arena completely open
it's completely open okay but wait he's stupid uh
i'm gonna
attempt to enter stealth and back up put your hands in front of your eyes
okay peekaboo okay okay so you can make like you don't need to use it yeah it's not an actual
combat it's a theater of mine thing it's just the functions of the slime so what evgeny is going to
do is attempt to enter stealth by using his chameleon cloak and his boot to kick up a ton of
dust to obscure
immediate vision of him and use that transition sure it's going to be just ordinary stealth check
ordinary stealth check which is different in this because it is a different skill
oh yeah because you should oh no it's there again yeah yeah i'm gonna roll that
with a 35 for four degrees of success
okay so you like kick up dust and go under your cloak
he's gonna use that to reposition and disorient the orc and try and get behind him ideally
okay you're not able to move that far you're only able to like start positioning uh the orc
uh then will follow up we'll run six meters into the middle of the arena and then pause and look
where'd he go where'd he go where'd he go as like all the rest of you up top can just see this like
chameleon line turd like waddling and shaking around the arena the orc is clearly unable to spot
it not my favorite tactic but an effective one i'm not quite sure how he's pulling that off
evgeny year ago evgeny is going to then take aim at this work while it is disoriented
uh-huh and about how far away is it right now is it right in the middle of the arena
but it's about he's about four meters away from oh so it's like point blank range at that point
i'm sorry no it's that's half range it's sure yeah yeah maybe you can still target the the
picture there yeah there should be a square see that worse that works all right we like that
and we are going to fire this semi-auto at overcharge for a full action all right
remember you yeah you're gonna we're gonna try
since it is a success with three degrees of success yeah breaks that one on the die
um he's not aware of you he cannot dodge this so apply john damaged
i'm going to apply john damage
it's like a total of seven at pen two sorry of course once again it decides to do this stupid
thing wherever we properly keep the token selected all right there were two different
heads one was for 11 the other was seven
for a total of seven i'll just i'll apply this apparently okay so your first shot hits the
orc in the right arm um the the arm that's carrying the shoot gun um dealing some damage
and then a single bolt hits the body seemingly grazing it the green skin now sees you evgeny
and um i hate to say uh yeah because you just shot it but stealth mechanics are funny in this game
although i actually think i'm too i'm within his range of sight so even if i am stealth
does he have the orc have a funny ow you hit me catchphrase
uh it's to go
like you know a warhammer player at a tournament and then he rushes you
uh and is coming at you with a choppa my friend is that so yes it's so we're gonna see what happens
here it
oh definitely gonna hit you sorry to say my friend i'm going to parry perry it heck yeah
um actually how can you bury it because you fired your last gun right
you could dodge yeah i could indeed dodge
mm-hmm
why you have to switch to your close combat gear we haven't i have not had the opportunity to fight
in close combat yet now you learn as the boy screams and raises this chopper to bring down
on you you may click the dodge button i did it didn't seem to roll oh maybe i didn't use a
reaction this round i don't know why it's telling me that i yeah i don't know why that either
i don't know that either uh just just roll me a dodge test
sure sure sure i get that maybe huh no weird thing i will take note of that
it's gonna be a 28 for five degrees of success whoa you're dodging 60 damn
it's best as buck it is all right the orc comes at him screaming waving that choppa
if getting just as a quick two-step sweeps his leg back gets low
spins around um yeah
yeah okay uh here we go you've got if getting seen the opportunity takes the opportunity to
once again attempt to disengage and play this game of cat and mouse with this orc boy
trying to kick up again get into stealth and move as far away as he can okay so you are looking to
disengage
disengaging disengaging is a full action which means you can't use stealth
I see if you try to leave and restell he will get to attack you in that case we might have to fight
a little bit closer combat now he is not the strongest but he does have his sword as you get
me
you can swap out your weapon with ready action and then you can make a standard attack if you want
crowd at this point is starting to get in like intense seeing that the orc is closed
that your opening gambit has not killed the green skin everyone's kind of leaning forward
they're like a commentator like and he gets out the sword like it's a still chair
if he does it if he does it evgeny is going to attempt to seize the opportunity knowing that
disengaging would probably mean a huge strike across his back which as we know is a massive
dishonor to any martial student and is going to attempt to strike with his chainsword
heck yeah swapping strike you don't get name bonus but you can attack
oof
oof
oof alas your your strength goes wide
yeah
um well
i guess i guess he's gonna go as as he looks down and just says puny uni um
um and he's gonna try to chop you again
just
just brings up this immense weapon tries to bring it down on you thurston can we assist him from the
crowd by going he's about to get you on the side swipe and then potentially help uh you're getting
if he tries to dodge increase the chances sure sure i'll yeah i'll uh but but he'll miss the
the orc misses here so like it smacks into the into the deck plating he's clearly annoyed at
you you've getting stairs
filthy
filthy
Hey, greenskin, you'll have to try harder than that.
I've put down bigger piles of shit than you.
Lyphos leans on a Bethel.
I didn't know they stacked shit that high.
They do in the Imperium, yeah.
Uh, Thurston, actually, a question.
Because I do have the quick draw talent,
would that mean that I wouldn't have lost that action
in order to holster, then draw,
or rather, draw the chainsword?
Or because it is a two-handed weapon,
I would need to holster it?
So I'd have to spend it regardless
to actually put it away and then get the chainsword out.
Yeah, you still would have missed the last attack,
even with it, because all it would have got you
would have been, like, an extra half action, so.
Gotcha, I see.
Yeah.
Now, because the chainswords are one-handed for humans,
would that mean I could then also draw my last pistol
as a free action via quick draw?
Yeah, yeah, I'd say you'd have both, no?
Hell yeah.
All right, so I'm going to take the opportunity
to then draw the last pistol
as they're doing this dance of death
in the dust of the arena,
both melee attacks missing.
Evgeny's going to try and get the upper hand
pulling his trusty sidearm from its holster,
lining it up in almost slow-mo
to line a shot up under his chin.
And he's going to try and plug him overcharging
this last pistol.
I believe.
Then do it.
Come on.
Here we go.
And it's point-blank range at this point, correct?
Yep.
Perfect.
Shoot him in the eye.
Shoot him in the eye.
No, not that way, idiot.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
I'm glad I didn't go for a cold shot, damn.
Oh, that.
That is a 91, two-duty risk of failure.
That shot goes wild.
As, like, as all of your allies shouting down at you
actually distracts you briefly, Evgeny.
And then instead you were just,
you were suddenly smashed at you by the choppa,
the aimed choppa swing coming for you.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
All right, that is going to be a hit.
Unless you dodge or parry.
Uh, let me double-check my...
Give it a whirl.
It's the same thing regardless.
Yeah, it just keeps ticking upwards,
treating it as one round of combat.
Don't worry about it.
It's broken.
Move on.
I'll fix it later.
It's all good.
You just have to mainly roll at that time.
Yep.
All right.
Well, Papa needs a new pair of lungs.
Fuck.
Uh-oh.
Oh, I saw that zero.
And even with...
Shouting from your allies.
Evgeny, I apologize.
It's not going to be enough.
The choppa smashes into you.
Ooh.
Oh.
Doing 12 damage to your chesticle region.
You take six damage, Evgeny.
This thing is, like, up in your...
will you feel the warmth of its breath
as it's just blasting its open mouth?
It's trying to bite you like the Uruk-hai
from Lord of the Rings.
It's...
It's not looking good.
What are you going to do?
Come on, you guinea.
Gonna try again.
We've got our funny chainsword.
Is it his time?
Or is it not?
No, certainly not.
Certainly not.
remains to be seen
come on Evgeny
are you planning
right now Hawking
because I'm not a melee
character I did not familiarize
myself with all out attack
oh no it's okay don't go and read it
I want to make a proposition if Thurston will allow it
Thurston
am I allowed to do
wizard shit
you can try
they can be as resistant as they want
internally but
externally
they're not as affected by physical stuff
moved by physical stuff
you see it's not
the wind that is blowing
it's what the wind is blowing
I would like
to cast mind over matter
to
I would like to imagine this orc
is on a plank board or something
and I want to try to undo
his balance to either
give Evgeny a better chance
of shooting him where he's trying to maneuver
himself and be like let me stumble him a bit
or potentially try to
destabilize him to make him prone
or even pull the orc's boot
and be like nope
let me try to do that or something
external that doesn't affect the orc itself
okay
and I assume
I can do this
in a stealthy like manner
where you're like
there's no facial expression
I just kind of
steeple my hands on my staff
as I'm twiddling my thumbs
but I'm doing psychic shit
you can give me a
plus 20 stealth check
absolutely
I don't even know if there's any
rules the shading
actually
rules for cheating
I think that's the point of cheating
all right
I'm looking for
a 46 I believe
no
no
no
, I saw it on the fucking 20 man
well it doesn't matter
with the minus 10 hulking anyway
yeah that's an 82 with six degrees of failure
now you can cast your power
I'm going for it don't worry
I'm not gonna pull that
well actually
yep 100%
mind over matter
we're just going to do this fettered
and off it goes
okay that's
it's a 22
but I did it fettered
so it does apparel
so thank goodness
thank goodness it didn't go for that
so I try to do the maneuver deal
and I guess like some
some lingering glowy stuff happens
so you're trying to use this to
to impede it right
yeah
uh depending like the goal is to see
if I can make the orc prone
uh while you're getting that close range
uh because hopefully that won't mess with his shooting it
if it's in that range
yeah
but um
or to at least make it easier for Evgeny to shoot him
yeah I'll allow you to use this like once in this fashion
kind of to trip him up at this point
just because of where he is
where he's balanced so
yeah the orc goes down prone
and then Evgeny you can
so before you you technically would have gone there Evgeny
the orc sort of stumbles after striking you with the choppa
that's kind of like a force that hits its
its legs and causes it to tumble
what are you doing
Evgeny is going to attempt
he's gonna use a full action to aim
and is going to make a called shot on its head
okay so couple of things there
um so full action to aim
means you don't get the bonus until your next turn
so I'm assuming you're not doing that
oh okay
um and a called shot and a called shot at that point
um and a called shot and a called shot at that point
um and a called shot and a called shot at that point
a called shot is a full action so you
cannot combine it with a
oh I see I understand that
so you could
for example
you could like
aim
full action
um
and then like spend your whole
turn aiming and then you could called shot
next turn and get a plus 20 bonus
but also if you do that you get no reactions
gotcha
I understand
or the reaction I should say ruins the aim
yeah right
with that in mind then I'm gonna make a
standard attack because I can't afford to
all out attack or charge since he's too
close we're just gonna
try and cut him down and maybe
impose some difficulties
okay uh so he is
prone
at the march
let me
find out what that'll do for you
here I should have
a
additional addition thing to help with that let me
see if I can help you
I can apply it I just don't know if it'll take
I will get you sir do not worry
there you go
okay
all right
all right
fuck me
no
but you do always have the orb if you survive
it's still in this pile of shit
it's still in this pile of shit
his pocket the orc wait wait what uh what do you roll hulky it's a 91 for six degrees of failure
hey hulky you you you you bring your weapon down but it just like ends just shy of the orc's head
and the orc kind of with a grunt puts both of its arms down and pushes its bulk up staring at you
i'm gonna eat you um and then he goes and slashes again at you with the chopper
let's not get any kind of aiming bonus
oh it's a clean hit it's a clean hit in your head
it's a clean hit on your head hulky but you could try to dodge or parry it to protect your noggin
um
all he can do is dodge because it's just
i believe he's fast it's like 10 less if i parry
i have so i just thought of something real fucking funny if you lose your head
skull two success 3d reason
dodge out of the way as this thing almost careens and crushes your skull
the orc shout what are you gonna do hulky
shut up
i'm tired i have lived too many decades to listen to your insipid battle cry
come on cut mud
oh my god that is fucking horseshit
are you oh my god these dice are rigged 95 again
the orc the orc says you i don't know what insipid means but i know what chopper means
uh and he will retort with the chopper
oh
oh okay he's gonna miss he's gonna miss
okay
okay
is gonna shout from the edge of the ring get some distance
beth i uh uh thurston may i may i may i attempt something
i yeah of course
use your psychic abilities
my psychic ability yeah of course
oh no um
what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it what is it
blah
trawww
uh
in this moment you know you've getting getting more and more and more frustrated more and
more and more worked up could i convince you that if he is to reach a certain threshold
of rage that he could perhaps benefit from my skull totem
what does your skull totem do
my skull totem uh i believe it gives him a weapon skill bonus though it might show up
bonus, though it might be on the charge, actually.
Uh...
Oh yeah, you get a plus ten on a charge.
Thought it was just a flat plus ten.
Never mind.
Unless you're, you know, step back and charge.
I mean, that works with what Cephas just said.
You need to not be in melee,
because it's not where you're strongest.
Even though these dice rolls are bad,
they are also not.
Full action disengage to backstep
and put some distance between the two of them,
and hopefully use this in the next round
to set up a shot.
Okay, um...
So disengage...
Let's learn about disengaging here.
Disengaging, um...
You take a half-move action.
What's your half-movement speed?
My half-movement speed?
Oh, fuck.
Let's go.
It's gonna be H, uh...
Your half-movement speed is five meters.
Not very far.
So you pull five meters away from this thing.
It looks at you as you, like,
manage to maneuver around it,
staring angrily as it tries to swipe,
but isn't quite able because of how you've disengaged.
It stares at you.
You can tell its short, stubby legs
aren't enough for it to normally reach you.
So instead,
it channels...
its brutal charge
and rushes you with a charge
with...
Its charge lets it move six meters.
I see.
So you manage to, like, sneak out, get away,
get in, kind of put some distance between you.
It turns, it sees you,
bellows, and comes
hurling with the choppa at you.
All right, the Baron Orc's choppa comes down,
but as it does,
it looks like it's about to hit your body.
Evgeny, it appears you've rolled 27 on the dodge.
So you successfully manage to dodge out of the way
of this insensate Orc.
You've come to realize that your disengaging
might only give it opportunities to recharge.
So...
a new tactic might be required.
What are you going to do?
The new tactic is the best one I can do,
which is to try and stay alive
as best I possibly can.
And maybe wait it out.
Okay.
So what are you going to do?
Well, right now,
as you may have noticed,
I have a lot of trouble hitting with a chainsword.
Yes, you have rolled a lot of 90s.
That does keep happening,
and I don't know why.
So instead of worrying about the mites and babies,
we're going to use Old Reliable,
and we're going to overcharge his last pistol
and try and blow its head off again.
Do it up.
And a one and a two at point blank range.
Here's the hundred for the overload.
Yeah, here it is.
I hit one.
All right, fair enough.
It does succeed with four degrees of success
and a 55.
I have some news for you, though.
You do?
The orc can try to dodge.
That's true.
That's so fucked up.
Even on a charge?
I mean, I guess that's the second turn,
so I guess that makes sense.
Yeah.
I'll allow it, Thurston.
I'll allow it.
That's what I thought.
It's going to do a dodge,
and we'll see what happens.
Who knows?
It might not even do well.
But you see, Thurston.
Fails.
Yeah.
Target fixed.
Yeah, yeah.
Ignore that.
Ignore that.
Ignore the numbers on the screen.
But yeah, it fails.
Okay.
Okay.
I'm going to try some damage.
For a little piddly damage of six,
but it should be pen two.
Okay.
So I will...
I need to change this thing.
Where are you, my friend?
God!
I'm sorry to say, Hulki,
it just bounces off its armor.
Also, you have pen two on that, you said?
For overcharge.
Okay.
It's not applying it.
I'll apply it.
You do two more wounds to the fin.
Yippee.
On a scale of one to ten,
it looks at about a five now
as it's starting to pant heavily
and looking down at you.
Oh, boy, Evgeny.
It's got a choppa with your face on it.
Yeah, I know it does.
It's coming.
Oh.
Learn the dodge, Evgeny.
Dodge!
It's aiming at you.
And brings down the choppa.
Oh, that's going to be a potential hit.
In your right leg.
In your right leg, our favorite place.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, his leg.
My leg.
Dodge.
I'll try to dodge again.
Dodge, Evgeny.
Dodge, dodge, dodge.
Spry little guardsman.
Spry little guardsman.
Dodge, dodge, dodge.
He's fast as fuck.
Oh, fuck.
No.
Oh.
Can I attempt to reduce that?
No.
You have to declare it before.
Oh, I didn't know that.
The only thing you can do is use infamy.
You have to declare it before.
That's what I mean.
That's incredibly been something.
Can I spend infamy for it?
Yeah, you have to do that.
No, no, no.
You have to declare it before.
Before the roll.
Yeah.
Before the roll.
Yes.
Yeah, that's what the...
There's been a thing that's come up a few times with regards to this, unfortunately.
And so, in that case, I'm going to say no and apply damage to you, Evgeny.
Shit, your leg.
Oh.
That's fucking awesome.
Okay, Evgeny.
I'm just going to click this apply damage button as your right leg is the home of the
choppa.
Ooh.
We're going to get into critical damage on you, my friend.
Oh, no.
So, oh, your flesh is ripped from your leg.
Blood gushes.
You will take 1d5 agility damage and suffer from blood loss.
Oh.
I will roll that.
Yeah, you have to mainly do it for that one.
So, just note, you're only going to take one point of injury.
Agility damage.
Don't change your score.
That is just damage that temporarily is gone and then comes back.
Now.
Okay.
Evgeny, you're also suffering from blood loss.
That's good, right?
Blood loss is a very, very, very, very, very bad thing.
Not that bad.
I will read the blood loss effect.
It is a critical effect.
You now have a 10% chance of dying each round unless you treat it.
Oh, shit.
It's minus 10 Medicaid test.
Oh, my goodness.
If you attempt any kind of strenuous activity, such as running away, then the Medicaid test increases and becomes incredibly difficult.
Oh.
So, Evgeny, it's your go.
Your leg has been viciously torn open by this choppa.
Blood is pouring out.
Blood is pouring down.
It's not looking good.
The first thing I need you to do in your turn, roll me a D100, and anything from 1 to 10 is your death.
Oh, no.
I see.
Yeah.
You've got it, Evgeny.
Okay.
He's good.
You remain conscious and still able to fight.
What are you going to do, Evgeny?
Come on.
I'm going to attempt.
36 for podcast people.
Thank you.
Thurston, for a free action, I would like to draw my lasgun.
It's a half action to ready it.
Oh, no.
You got quick draw.
Yep.
Yep.
Yep.
I'm going to overcharge.
Okay.
And attempt to shoot this orc.
So, firing a non-pistol weapon at this close range.
Okay.
At this close range.
Oh.
Does provoke an attack from the orc.
Oh.
But I think you're still making the right play here.
It's a battle of attrition at this point.
Yeah.
It's a DPS race.
We have to try.
Okay.
I'll take the attack on you.
I believe.
He gets no aim bonus.
It's just a good old standard attack.
At point blank range.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
Oh.
Oh.
Now, your reaction technically.
Technically, your reaction does reset at the beginning of your turn, I believe.
So, you can attempt to dodge this.
You just won't get dodged when he attacks you on his rank.
The orc rolled a 34.
Yeah.
That's like 30 points of success.
Will his...
Will his attack go off before I do?
No.
Or I do.
Yes.
So you got a dodge. But you can still dodge and fire if you make the dodge, so.
If you don't make the dodge, you get hit.
Yeah. Well, I know that much, Erntil.
I know, but that also means you can't shoot.
Motherfucker!
Well... My dice are fucking weighted, I swear on the gods.
You wanna tell the audience what you rolled?
It was 80. Yeah, I rolled an 80.
Oh, the dark gods.
Ooh. So, Hulky, I'm gonna narrate what happens here.
Then we're gonna talk. I'm gonna invite you into my office.
Oh.
Okay. So, your chest skin is ripped away, revealing red and a rune of muscle.
Oh.
Give me a challenging toughness test. Just plus zero toughness test.
Absolutely.
Oh, yeah.
Hulky, come into my office.
Sure, buddy.
That's a 54, three degrees of failure.
So, on a failure, you die.
Now, the dark gods in this setting are not... are generous beings.
Hulky Crow, you, you, you, my friend, you.
You can choose to decrease your infinite...
infamy permanently by 10 plus 1d10.
And if you do, you will be incapacitated for any combat scenes or future combat scenes in this session.
You will survive.
That is your, your extra life that you can now spend to survive,
what will otherwise just be the death of your character.
Well, obviously, Thurston, of the options that are put before me,
I think the one that makes the most sense...
is to kill this pathetic Meow Meow and send his soul screaming to the thirsting gods beyond.
No!
Really?
You can't do that to him.
No, of course not. I have to have something...
I have to keep this little Meow Meow in the game to disappoint you another day.
Roll me a d10.
Roll me a d10 plus 10.
How hype would it be, though, with one wound, you kill the orc, though?
Oh, yeah, how... you could also opt to be...
That's the devil talking. You could also opt to be...
That's the devil talking. You could also opt to be...
That's the devil talking. You could also opt to be...
That's the devil talking. You could also opt to be...
That is the fucking devil talking, because I don't have enough infamy to survive that.
There's the 8 plus 1 d10 that lets him survive with one wound and keep fighting.
I'll give you a hundred dollars if you make it and kill him.
No buggy way!
I'll do it.
The value proposition of that bet is you have a slim chance of killing this thing you have dealt almost no damage to.
I'll give you a hundred bucks, but if you lose, I... nothing.
Yeah.
Literally nothing.
You get nothing.
All right.
1d10 plus 10?
1d10 plus 10.
I almost want to see if I would succeed on the roll if I survived one wound.
It's gonna happen regardless.
Roll it.
Excellent.
Oh.
Why'd you roll?
I rolled an 18, so I'm nearly drained of infamy.
What is your infamy score at?
23, so it's going to go down to 5.
But don't worry, Hulki, where the capricious gods of chaos, you know, taketh away, they also giveth.
Roll me a d10.
It's a 4.
You gain 4 corruption points.
Wow.
Yay!
Hooray!
Thank you, Thurston.
Wait, that could be enough to send him over a threshold.
It doesn't.
It doesn't.
I checked.
I checked.
Yeah, he's only a 7, so.
Darn.
Aww.
Hey, um.
So he's incapacitated, right, at this point?
So at this point, what happens is, like, the crowd is losing their minds.
Like, orcs, orcs, orcs, orcs, orcs, orcs, orcs.
That one guy who's, like, got the green, like, wah belly, he's just, like, paddling it.
Like, he's...
They're so happy.
Speaker, do you want to do your thing?
Can I get that orc teleported into the void of space?
How?
I don't know what's going on.
Unless I can just hear it.
I don't know.
Speaker.
Speaker.
All right.
Sounds to me like Byzantium has been on the ship.
I have to use some GM tools here.
Some suggestions you had.
Um.
All right.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Today's mission.
We're going to
There it is.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
teleportarium but instead you send it inside the orc
fuck you dude you win against the pc and you still die yeah that's awesome cool i i however
however because byzant is doing this i mean like there has to be some slight risk involved in this
right like you can't just be like you killed me please don't teleport a wealthy gun inside my
torso oh that would be that would be a great way to become a mutilator rules is written rules is
written hulky for the rest of the session i cannot kill you that's true that is true that is true
look there's instead for things surviving with machine stuff inside of them we're not playing
that game again we're not one character like that um speaker yes can you please roll me a d100
okay
i would love to roll you a d100 thank you let's find out what fate holds for us that is a 44
definitely doubles okay okay okay okay so so like evgeny you have this chopper that is torn
open your sensual flesh blood is gushing out um and then suddenly
suddenly there is a spectral gale
in the air around you um the orc um is knocked to the ground you are already prone from the
strike that you just suffered um and as the orc falls its head kind of comes level with yours
and then there's a crack bang as you are covered in viscera and some metal object twisted and
deformed beyond any use is embedded itself where the orc is and you are already prone to the
orc's head was and the orc falls down dead somehow the gale around you seems to have
staunched the wounds the terrible terrible wounds that should have killed you uh and done irreparable
damage but you've you've been spared from that um though you can barely move that like really
you can only just just hobble under your own power uh if evgeny you'll look on and
like be like boy this should be a superstar like a little horror movie like this is more of a horror
movie in terms of like food even though he's a screamer but more of a like a totally horror
but more of like what the wincing from the pain but shakily steadies himself to one
knee barely gets on to both his feet and with a haggard and hateful gaze will rise one of his fists
one species in this galaxy and it is man and he'll collapse in the audience are uncomfortable
are sitting up there in the top row like fuck this guy i've never i can't believe i put my
money on him there's like a sloth there's like one there's like one crud that's like what the
fuck dude fucking reactionary there's like there's like three votan who are like that's a grudging
you know what's up erin uh i was gonna say cephas leans over to lyphos and he mutters very lowly to
him my foes yes i'll let you take credit for zeke conjuring that melter gun in the orc's head if
you'll let nurgle take credit for him not dying i'll put it on the scoreboard good
i assume lucitrix keeps the scoreboard
she is she's like writing something it's fine
yeah like also after that like i want there's an image in my head of like lyphos and bethiel kind
of like shaking like grabbing you're like yeah yeah our boy did it like oh wait it's you yeah you
yeah exactly don't touch me disgusting but our boy did it yeah
cephas is looking on i'm really not sure what happened
i'm really really unimpressed because it's very clear that he did not do that yeah
by santi i have to ask back on the ship are you then just teleporting yourself back over
yeah i suppose it saved me the walk yeah i'll teleport myself next to um
lythos uh it's streaming just in time for the teleporter operator to tell me oh wait there
was actually a problem with the and then give me a roll me a d100 yeah i like how you were risking
an entire pathway through the warp just for a little bit of convenience
where you'll have the slight chance to explode inside me not intended
that's how slanesh do you live on the edge yolo as they say true as the score keeping there's
like a concussive bang
and then you know a tiny coin
in a glare
as Byzantium appears
everyone within like
15 meters suddenly has all their
breath leached out of them for a moment
becomes short of breath
including Byzantium as Byzantium
appears
I have no breath I'm sort of sand
yeah
the egg
at thin hours
is it just me
it's a bit tighter but
where were you
oh well
I was busy
helping
to make sure that
our dearest Yevgeny
would get access to a
melting gun which no doubt he used
to achieve victory isn't that right
and then he holds up his hand to shush him
shushing him shushing him pointing in the arena
pointing in the arena
oh wait before I say
any of that
oh yeah thank you
that's right
that's right
yeah look
look
oh motherfucker
oh of course
okay so
scene plays out as normal
and Cephas again holding his hand up
like wait
and he points into the arena
at the melting gun headed orc
not so loud
not so loud
ah
wow
that's funny isn't it
a little bit
somebody needs to go get him
uh Bethael is going to vault over the side
I'm making a little check
uh before Bethael
Bethael you vault over
but like before then
Hans
has rushed into the arena
sir sir get up sir
I can't lose another one
you're my son now
I need to kill you
you
oh
like I said
I can go
I'm gonna kill you
I can kill you
and now it's like
that's the end of the game
I don't know what's the point
of all this
you're gonna play only one
you know
look at that
I'm gonna kill you
I'm gonna kill you
I don't know
what the fuck are you doing
I'm gonna kill you
we're gonna kill you
argh
like a
tank
you're not fighting
somebody's interested in
fighting
we're gonna kill you
I'm gonna kill you
you know I was like
That's true.
Hans, you're part of the unit now.
Can you help your commanding officer to his feet?
I think I would like a drink.
No, sir, my commanding officer has to stand on his own, sir.
I won't be following no bitches.
He hauls his handbook of ruse.
That's true.
You're goddamn right.
He's like, he's on issue to work.
Is my sir gonna fucking die?
He takes the MacGyver gem.
Thanks, gem.
Thanks, gem.
I've taken that gem back from that fucking Ogryn.
Joe Calrana said the same thing.
Yeah, exactly.
Go watch the Wrath of Glory one.
Yeah, go watch Wrath of Glory.
Yeah, go watch Wrath of Glory.
Evgeny will get to his two feet.
He'll inhale through his nose.
He'll take some of the blood that's on him.
He'll reach up with his other hand, grab hands by his collar.
I'm assuming he's wearing, like, carapace armor.
Or is he just tits out?
He's got, like, a shirt.
You got your chest shredded off.
Yeah.
Well, not me, the Ogryn.
Oh, him.
He's got some light armor, but not, like, maybe flak.
He's got a five-up save.
Cool.
That's cool.
So Evgeny is gonna take it with his one hand and hopefully, with the semblance of strength,
pull on it just sharp enough to catch the Ogryn off guard.
Just pull him down a little bit to his eye level.
Yes, sir?
Your commanding officer is no bitch.
That's right, sir.
Come on, now.
We've got to get you out of here for the next fight.
Evgeny's gonna put his...
The herald master wants to clean the arena.
Your friend's gonna fight.
Evgeny's gonna attack his...
blood-covered hand in a handprint on his chest.
You're one of us now.
Now please get me the fuck out of here.
I need to throw up.
Right away, sir.
Good boy.
And Evgeny will start hobbling out of the arena.
Look, I'm...
Look, even...
You know what?
Like, just for that little...
I'll give you one infamy back for that.
We'll start you on the train back up.
Beautiful.
You'll be back before you know it.
Bethael, you're probably...
like, standing there like,
what the fuck just happened?
Has the Ogryn and Evgeny have this moment
as you hop down?
Like, but then you see Evgeny put the bloody hand
on the Ogryn.
Well, I'm not sure what just happened,
but he claps him hard on the back.
That was something.
The Ogryn turns to look at you.
You need to get out of here, too.
Your skeleton friend is gonna come in
and do the next fight.
I'd like to...
Life Force.
I'd like to imagine Life Force is talking to Cephas,
like, what are...
Yeah.
Like, but actually,
why do you use heads for grenades?
Because they're good for festering the diseases.
It's a solid cavity.
There's very few in the human body
that are calcified like the skull.
Oh, very...
You would know that.
Very interesting.
And then he hears that and he's like,
what?
And Bethael will say that at the same time.
Cephas turns to look as well.
What do you mean, him?
The sorcerer?
The sorcerer?
And at that exact moment as the overstroke,
yes, from behind you,
like, Life Force and Cephas,
the Harrow Master just appears from the shadows.
He does it obviously.
Ah, fuck!
Just come to our attention
that you seek an asset on this station.
The Demogorg.
The Seer.
We will allow it,
but you must go to the arena for the next fight.
What?
Sorry, I'm making a little note here.
Life Force kind of goes,
he's like,
well, if it'll guarantee your path forward,
I, Life Force the Great,
can take on any challenge you throw against me.
I doubt you have anything
that will be able to stand against my power.
The Ogryn will see you once he's back up.
Go to the lift.
He looks at his companions and go like,
take notes.
Does it be over very quickly?
Well, I do believe that.
Life Force will strut his way over,
you know, making his cape float.
Would you like a grenade, brother?
No, thank you.
Thank you, Sephis.
I do believe my mights will be enough
to take care of whatever they have in store.
Why does nobody want the grenades?
Because they're fucking he-
Sorry, that's not a character.
Yucky.
They're kind of yucky.
Yeah, but they deal poison damage.
Yes, with the severed heads.
Severed heads.
Life Force rules.
Hey, the life force is going.
Okay, so as Life Force, you depart,
someone else emerges from the shadows
by the Harrowmaster.
It's a, it's a huge, like, immortal-sized woman,
though her body is festooned with,
with different, like, profaned purity parchments,
a shoulder pad bearing the octet spikes
emerging from metal plates,
but most notable is the immense octet ocular
that covers the entirety of her eyes,
showing only a slight bit of her face.
And she comes out and, like,
this almost, like, glaring eye,
like a cat's eye inside the octet circle
at the center of the octet,
moves around kind of viscously,
expanding and contracting in size
before focusing on Cephas.
Greetings.
Greetings.
You seek my services.
Ah, I do not.
Life Force does.
The marine with the skull for a head?
Yes, I am aware.
I will soon witness amusement through his struggle.
Very well.
You may take a seat next to my attendant
and watch with us.
Acceptable.
You are a follower of the Plague God.
That I am.
And you are...
unaligned.
I am Tatriath.
Yes, I am unaligned.
I serve the primordial Annihilator in its whole,
though I am quite content to dealing with those
who devote themselves in the path of a single patron.
Well, that is good,
for there are many aboard our ship.
Excellent.
I look forward to
guiding your ship
through the shoals of the
Immaterium to Dahab.
Let us see if my brother survives first.
It matters not if he survives.
I shall do it regardless,
for that is my destiny.
This battle is only for my amusement.
You see,
I enjoy the skeins of time and fate.
I enjoy replaying them.
Very well.
The nest is ordained.
We'll see how it goes.
The eye, like, flits over to you, by the way.
You serve the Prince and Princess of Pleasure.
Ah, that is correct.
You make hedonistic use of the Immaterium
as displayed by your recent travel here.
Impressive.
I suspect you will die in short order,
but I would like to know you before that occurs.
Well, there's a running bet
on to when I'm going to die,
but I assure you,
I won't be going out for some time.
Four years, three months, two hours.
Oh!
Oh, you're on.
Acceptable.
I'm excited to see if I die.
I'm gonna mark that down in my, uh,
Auspex,
uh, supposed death date.
Yeah.
And I'm gonna have it countered.
Just, like, he's ticking there in the top corner.
Yep.
Yep.
Every time an hour passes,
I'm gonna take a look,
and I'm gonna go like,
and then I'm gonna keep going.
I'm gonna do an X3.
And you are a servant of the Blood God.
Huh?
Uh, Bethael at this point is probably, like,
carried Yevgeny, like, football style.
Yes.
Uh, back up to the stands.
You care for this mortal.
It is good.
This mortal is important.
I get the sense.
He is growing.
He's going to, like, gently set Yevgeny down
in the, uh, chaos bleachers or whatever.
You will enjoy what is about to happen.
I am a servant of the Blood God.
Who is Lyphos fighting?
And why will I enjoy it?
Watch.
And, like, the eye,
the immense sort of, like,
Sauron-esque eye in the octet
turns towards the arena
as, Lyphos, you step out across the same bridge
that Yevgeny did,
coming by the blood spatter on the floor
of Yevgeny's vital fluids sprayed around.
Arms are up.
WWE entrance.
Doing psychic shit to make, like, fireworks and stuff.
What's his entrance music?
Oh, goddamn.
Don't ask me that shit.
I don't fucking know.
Sorry.
I don't know shit.
I'm not a music guy.
No, no.
Don't stop.
Believe.
Yeah.
The wheelchair.
That's terrible entrance music.
Oh, my God.
Spooky scary skeletons.
Why can't we be friends?
Why can't we be friends?
Tell me in the comments down below
what his intro music should be.
He basically comes in,
just making a big spectacle,
going, like,
Bring it on.
There's nothing you have
that'll,
that'll even last you forever.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
That won't even last against me.
Hey, Xuron?
Yes.
Read the quote.
Let me move this
so our lovely audience can see it.
You are a Sword in the wrong hands, my brother.
You have severed an innocent neck
and it will plague you forever.
Magnus...
From Magnus the Red.
Recorded captions of the Battle of Prospero.
And,
With that, the first thing you notice is the snarling, then the s- the- the- the tread,
some kind of ceramite-enhanced boots teamed with a growl, and emerging is- is not a man,
not even a transhuman, though it has the same bulk, some kind of man-beast,
but recognizable on its tattered bits of ceramite armor are the insignias and heraldry
of the legion known as the space wolves...
The 6th Legion....
Kill Bill music starts playing
BWEE-
Lifeboats it just is like no
My friend
No, you're good. You're good
I rolled a nine for my initiative
Good
The wolf sees you
This hulking figure
He doesn't even have weapons
beyond claws that have
like mutated out
tearing, rending weapons
He spends his entire
action like
going into a hunch and
snarling. F.I.L. you've seen this
before. You know what this is
This is a frenzy. Lifos
you're go
Oh goody
Oh goody goody gumdrops
Oh we get to fight a wolf then. Yippee
I'm fucked
I believe in you
Well luckily
we already figured out you only have to
lose 10 plus d10 for me
if you die
Yeah yeah
For every one of these fights
we lose them but then a meltegun
just emerges
Like by Zanty
just like hits the vox mead
Uh Carcass we require
a meltegun
Can we get another one?
Load the next meltegun
We just teleport melteguns into other ships
That's our demo
Another one
That's your tactic
Engineer team Fortress 2 teleprank trap
I've been doing nothing but teleporting
melteguns for the past 48 hours
My whole life is teleporting melteguns
My father spent his life teleporting melteguns
Miles O'Brien
Teleports a meltegun
Lifos my friend you're up
So we're fine as long as nobody attempted to teleport melteguns
As Lifos is staring
Staring at this wolfen
All the memories of Prospero come back
Like from all of his memories
of when he had skin
and was teaching people of scholarly ways
and to look at the stars
and be proud of what we have accomplished
You know with his robes and dark skin
just walking through the aisles and things
and then it just flashes into more fire
as he's in his armor and stuff
and the pods are dropping
and him just surviving what he can
against the onslaught of space wolves
and then flashing more and more
and then he's lost his skin
and he fights more of the space wolves
and more and more and more
and he gets like
NOT AGAIN
WITNESS YOUR OWN DOOM
He's gonna cast doom bolt full on
Just
Let's go
And cast it
I rolled a 55
That is 5 degrees of success
So it's gonna push in so
Immediately we'll roll perils and stuff
Oh yeah of course
We're in it to win it
Oh of course I rolled one of the extra damage stuff
But wait wait wait
Cause the degree of success
I can change that one to a 5
Alright
Still not great
But it does have pin 8 cause it's doom bolt
So that works out
Let's do the psyker phenomena first
Cause that's gonna matter
The theories
The psyker is assailed by unseen hordes
Exactly what's happening
The hordes
He slams to the ground
And suffers 1d5 wounds and damage
Ignoring armor but not toughness
I tank that
And he must test against fear
Fear
Yes
That's thematic
That's thematic
That's so thematic
Holy crap
That's so perfect
That is excellent with his space bull PTSD
So I am
For fear test it's just willpower right
Yeah
But since it's fear 2
It's gonna be at minus 10
Because
So normally
If it was fear 2 it'd be minus 20
But because we're playing like a black crusade game
You shave off the first minus 10
So it's gonna be a willpower minus 10
You got it
That is a
Oh no
That's a 95
He's got that
That PTSD is real strong
It's working out man
Every session
I wanna point out by the way
There was no fear I was doing this time
This is all self inflicted wounds
I was like okay we've done the fear game
I don't need to do it this session
And Zora's just like fuck that
It's not a chaos odyssey game
It's not a chaos odyssey session
Unless someone's making a fear test
True
Hey look
I'm willing to risk it for the biscuits
With the psychic rolls
I'm having a great time
It's fair
Don't worry
So give me
Since that's 5 degrees
Rule me 1d100 plus 50
Sure thing sure thing
100 plus 50
That is going to be
A total of 110 Thurston
Huh
What uh ohs do I have
Okay
The character faints
And remains unconscious for 1d5
Oh no
Oh no
I have a 1d5 right here
Let's see what this does
One
Oh there we go
There we go
So you're only going to be unconscious
You fall unconscious for one round
You're going to suffer a minus 10 penalty
And I'll test future
That gives enough time for this thing
To like rush up to you
Also take your d5 damage
Don't forget that
I mean my toughness tanks it
So
It's just like
Oh not toughness bonus
That's right
That's right
Yeah yeah yeah
You're good
You're good
You're good
Cool
Uh this thing is rushing towards you
It rushes by you
And like is looming above you
Lifos with claws ready
Um
Then you're unconscious
Can
Can it roll for confusion
Because it doesn't see
Anything
Just a skeleton
Oh my god
By the way
First thing
I'm going to go
I'm going to go
I'm going to go
By the way
First thing
Can you actually damage it
With the doom bolt
Because I fainted before
I think I don't get to damage it
No no no
It still happens
It still happens
But I need Zorn
Zorn I need you to
I got you
I got you boss
There you go
Okay cool
Uh
So
Yeah so basically
Uh
10 roll damage
8 pin
Um
Yeah
Just gets in there
Gets to do 2 damage to him
Oh cool
He roars
He gets over you
Before you regain consciousness
Lifos
What are you going to do
When you regain consciousness
Um
This thing is
Starly above you
He's going to be in melee now
Right
He is
He's right above you
In melee
Yup
I have a plasma pistol
I'm over
I'm going to basically
Come out from a consciousness
Like bring that thing
Right up to his stomach
Plasma
And go like
And go like
This is for
It's like
It's like
Now it's time for you to burn
Just pretty much
Overcharge the plasma pistol
Yeah
In his stomach
Fuck yeah
Remember Tizka
Yeah okay
That
That
That conjures an image
Of something very specific
In my head
Of a guy
Clutching his backside
Saying
Oh my anus
Someone help me
Someone help me
Someone comes over to him
He pulls out a gun
And says
Big Tony says hello
And shoots him in the head
Yeah
Alright
Big Magnus says hello
Uh
So I am
Um
He's on top of me
Obviously standing up
Would be half and
Well no this takes the action
So
Yeah get plus twenty
Nothing else
Okay cool
We're rolling
Uh
Forty-four
That's gonna be
Very nice
Six degrees of success
And that
Cause he's hulking
Gotta get plus ten
He can't dodge it
Yep
He cannot dodge it
He's friends with you
And
Basically did all of that
So
Hell yeah brother
Let's go and do some damage
That's gonna be
Ooh
A seven eight and a thing
Good good
That's gonna be a total of
Twenty-two damage
I didn't get anything extra
So
Hell yeah
Should we go ahead and play
Buy it for me
Absolutely
Yeah
I wanna make sure you're good with that
That's gonna be
Ooh
Basically roll damage
Gonna be twenty-two
Ten points of penetration
There's
Overcharging
Normally it's eight
And then it goes down
Yeah
To his toughest bonus of eight
Final damage
Fourteen
Bam
Right in his stomach
Let's go
So
It is
It is
Incredibly
Ooh
Like this
This thing's chest
The teeth
The eyes
These
Like lupine yellow eyes
Staring down
It seems almost like being
Inured to the pain
And
Like
It
Like
In this guttural
Gothic
Just
Just lets out
Veatch
And
Um
It tries to tear at you
Lyphos
With its
Terrifying claws
Ah good thing
We
We
You
You
You
Well good thing
You didn't equip it with a
Either a thunder hammer
And a thunder shield
And or a frost axe
Oh
No
No
It is
Bad
We're going to
Hamber
Swift attack you
So
We'll see how
This goes
Swaft
Oh
That's a good roll
On him
Uh oh
So that's five degrees of success
So he is going to tear into you
Three separate times
Yup
Your body
Your right arm up to your head.
The claws are just tearing into you.
You can attempt to dodge or parry.
I will do two things.
I have a refractor shield.
So with that, how would that integrate with dodging and refractor thingy?
Okay, so that is a whole thing that happens here,
and I'm glad you have it,
because it is definitely a piece of equipment
that in this game, force fields are interesting.
Okay, so a couple of things with force fields.
Let me pull them up here.
So anytime you have a field weapon,
when you are attacked,
you roll a D100,
and if it's equal to or less than the value of the field,
so in this case you have a refractor field,
your protection rating is,
so roll a D100 for it.
Sure thing.
I think I have it.
I do not.
I think it's the other thing.
I had a whole dango dang thing for it.
Actually, I think it's on.
Oh, it's on the other thing when it does for damage.
That's where I put the card on.
Let me, you'll just roll damage for it,
and then I'll have a button there for it to make it easier for you.
Sure.
Because if it doesn't happen, I wouldn't be taking it all anyway.
Well, I think what happens is,
is because it's attacking you three separate times with its degrees of success.
They're going to have to roll the field for each hit.
Yes.
I have the button for those, so that should do it.
Okay.
So I'll do damage if it works.
Right.
We'll see.
I think it will.
If it doesn't, we get it figured out.
Okay.
He has zealous hatred and stuff.
The first one is zealous hatred, which is not good for you.
Yeah, that blows.
I'm going to die.
Oh, that's brutal.
We'll see.
We'll see.
We'll see.
Okay.
So now I think you try your force field here.
Absolutely.
Okay.
Here we go.
Here we go.
I believe.
I believe.
Mario.
Kill his ass.
There we go.
Failed.
I rolled a 74 on it.
Well, damn.
That's on one.
It doesn't work.
It doesn't work for the other one.
It's okay.
Do a hundred.
Okay.
I'm going to.
Yeah.
For the second one.
Yes, that will succeed.
That's a five.
The second one.
Yeah.
So that's good.
You want low.
Like you want under 30.
So that one and then the last one.
Okay.
95.
Only one.
I'm going to apply damage.
And I think one sec.
Actually, what I'm going to do is I'm going to just because you dodged the zero on.
I'm just zeroing out the damage on the second attack with this.
Okay.
So that should just mean you don't take it.
You don't take anything.
I made change.
And then I will apply damage and see what happens.
Critical on the head.
Well.
No, that shouldn't.
No.
This is weird.
It's doing, like, double stuff here.
One sec.
Why is it 17 damage?
Let's do it manually.
It's messing up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
So the first.
The first hit is going to be to your right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you're going to hit your body for 24 with four.
So on your body, you have a total of 15.
So it's going to go down to 11.
So you're going to take 13 wounds just from that first hit on your body.
So it's going to take you down to set.
Thank you.
I hate doing math in public.
Thank you.
You're good.
So then after the second, then the second one, your force field absorbs.
There's a flash of light.
Then that happens there.
And then.
Then.
And then the third hit hits you in the head.
This does 16 points of damage with four pens.
So the effective total here is 20.
So 20 versus your 15.
You're going to take five more wounds.
Still up, baby.
Hell yeah.
Two wounds left.
Now, you did take a zealous hatred.
Yes.
So that was to your body.
That was from the first hit.
This is a rending.
So what that means is we do go to the crit table,
because that's what zealous hatred does.
Yeah.
And that crit's for that zealous hatred on the head, right?
For the crit for the head or body.
No, no, no.
It's only for the body,
because the zealous hatred was on the first attack,
which hit your body.
And that zealous hatred.
So the way zealous hatred works is you only roll like a D5
and apply that critical effect.
So this is rending claws to your body,
but it is the max you could get.
So, oh, wow.
You.
A torrent of blood spills from deep cuts on you.
I'm going to say it's sand in this case.
No, my dust.
Creatures who attempt to move through this will need to make a agility test.
And you suffer 1d10 damage and we'll call it sand loss,
which means you have a 5% chance at the start of every one of your turns to die.
Excellent.
All right.
That's it's go.
Do I take the 1d damage now?
Yeah, 1d10 toughness damage.
It's not permanent.
So just make sure to mark it separately, not on the sheet.
Will do.
Because it'll mess up your thing.
Absolutely.
That is a six.
I have taken six of that.
So remember that.
Let me.
Six.
Tough.
Damage.
So I have my tablet here for notes here.
Excellent.
All right.
Six times of his damage on that.
Ouchies.
And I believe, is that all of his go?
That is all of his go.
At the beginning of your turn, roll me a D100, please.
All right.
Let's see if I just with it.
Almost.
Close.
That's 12.
That's 12.
That's 12.
You can act.
All my dust almost leaked.
Uh-oh.
Uh-huh.
All right.
So now it's my turn.
You have to do four wounds.
Kill his ass.
I can't do the plasma gun again.
You've got one turn to recharge it.
Because it's charging.
Yeah.
You have to hope he misses on his attack next turn.
You're on your butt.
Or I can do.
Or you could Doom Bolt.
That's what I'm thinking.
You could Doom Bolt.
Or I can do.
Or I can do.
Or I can do.
Or I can do.
Or I can do.
Or I can do.
Or I can do.
Or I can do.
That's what I'm thinking.
He could Doom Bolt.
That's what I'm thinking.
He could explode.
Maybe the perils makes me teleport somewhere.
I don't know.
I cast my most powerful spell of all.
Die.
In my refactor field.
Might carry the way.
It's my random four up in vault.
I got to trust in the four, baby.
Okay.
That's what I'm going to do.
Do it.
Do it.
As he calls me a witch.
This is where you actually get the results
of everyone.
Everyone gets, like, a million chaos furies,
and the whole room is filled with bats.
Yay.
Okay, yeah, yeah, he called you a witch.
What are you doing?
He's teared, like, tore into you.
Your refractor field popped off a little bit of it,
but that's it.
So he calls me a witch, and I go, like,
it's like, die, monster!
Murderer!
And then he will cast Doombolt upon him.
Full push.
All the way up.
On the second rating.
44!
If it wasn't perils-ing before, it was perils-ing now.
Super perils, 64.
Wait, roll twice and apply one or both results.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Oh, yeah, this is the mega perils now,
because I rolled a double on the guaranteed.
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
No, no, you want to do the perils twice.
Do you want to do the damage first,
or do you want to do the extra perils?
No, no, you do the perils first,
because the perils can impact the damage.
Okay.
All right, so the perils...
Oh, okay.
Oh, my God.
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
I kind of just want to re-roll.
Well, you get to roll a second time, remember?
You get to roll a second one,
because you do have another one.
And it's up to Thurston to pick it.
Yep.
I don't have the thing.
Just roll me a D100.
Just roll me a D100.
I got the table up right.
Thank you so much.
I got it right up in front of me.
Roll again.
Roll again.
So that plus 10.
Again?
Yeah, now we're going on the big table.
That is a one.
Okay.
A one.
Oh, okay.
Can I read it?
I would love to read it.
Tell me what page it is.
Is that plus 10 or not?
One sec.
I'll allow that to be up to you.
Whatever you think is funny.
Okay, one sec.
Yeah, let me check here.
What page is it?
If you don't mind, because I would love to read it.
It's going to be on page 211.
Thank you, sir.
I'm going to ask you to roll me a D100 one more time for some.
Absolutely.
Here is another D100 as I go find the page on my tablet, which it takes forever to do.
The D100 was a 43, Thurston.
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
I am seeing it now.
Oh, okay.
Interesting.
Okay.
So I basically made you roll that so I could pick from two options here, which I'm just
double checking which one's kind of worse on the chart and more funny on the chart or
more narrative.
I'm going to go with Warp Whispers.
Roll me 4D10 to determine the radius.
Everyone within 4D10 meters.
You roll more than 20.
It'll affect your allies.
I rolled a total of 15.
Everyone.
All of your allies are out of the thing.
So this will be you and the Wolfen.
Absolutely.
You, including the psycher, make a hard so minus 20 willpower test.
You got it.
Willpower test.
I got a 47 as a success.
Cool.
So he is.
This guy takes willpower damage from from this.
I'm just going to D10 for a reason here.
Okay.
And he seems like stunned, temporarily stunned by this as like you start hearing
Lyphos, these whispers, you're able to keep them back.
But they're like, yes, yes, yes.
Yes. Kill.
Yes.
The murderer.
You must stop the murderers.
They unprovoked, unprovoked, unprovoked.
And like this thing is staring down at you and like you can guess it's hearing
something entirely different and there's this like moment of recognition in its eyes.
This stuns for the next turn.
But now you can roll me the damage because we haven't even got to the damage yet.
Yes.
We go ahead and roll the one D10 plus the second rating, which is five.
Because plus three from the push.
Ah, not as much as I wanted it.
Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait.
You can replace it.
It's a success.
Yeah, that will replace that.
Still not by the damage for me.
Fantastic.
It's actually going to be okay with the pen.
It's going to be okay with the pen.
Oh, just only three.
I needed one more.
But it is stunned.
It's stunned.
So it spends its entire round listening to these warp whispers staring down at you.
There is like a hiss of gaseous expolation as the pistol
unleashes the stored up plasma energy.
There's a little chime that indicates it's ready to fire again.
As if the winds of lovely Prospero
were as if flowing through his hair again.
As he hears it, he knows it's time, presses the button,
overcharges the plasma pistol, puts it right up in his mouth and goes,
We did nothing wrong.
And I fire.
Oh, wait, don't take that one.
Didn't do the overcharge one.
That one's fake.
This is the second one is the real one.
There you go.
That is a 57 five degree of success.
Overcharged rolling damage on the right leg.
I guess he struggles against the leg.
Zealous hatred.
Adding to that 24 with eight pin.
Holy shit.
He's applied.
Good Lord.
Applied.
He bypasses all the armor.
Critical severity to his right leg.
So a couple of things.
So you do 24 with a pen of ten.
So that will for some reason, this severity chart is wrong.
I don't know why it's not triggering correctly, but that's fine.
You're going to do catastrophic damage
to this thing's right leg with an energy blast.
So let me pull that up and tell
you what happens, because it's going to be a spicy meatball.
Energy leg in a terrifying display of power.
The leg is immolated and fire consumes the target completely.
He dies in a matter of agonizing seconds as the last thing you hear is
the howl of a lone wolf staring down briefly.
Before the conflagration covers him entirely.
And you are sprinkled with the remains.
And up in the audience.
Up beside Cephas, the demagogue Tatriath whispers something that the augmented
humans around can hear, but not poor Evgeny, who is still struggling.
It's like a solemn benediction.
She just whispers.
All is dust.
And
Evgeny, I'd like you to read the quote I've just put up on screen.
The price of chaos is not gold nor glory, nor even the false mercy of an emperor.
Chaos demands everything.
Thy flesh to be twisted into living scripture, thy mind to be unmade and
rewritten in the word of gods.
Only when the last drop of thy former self has been spilled upon the altar of
the primordial truth, shall the gods look upon thee and declare, thou art mine.
And the galaxy itself shall tremble at thy ascension.
An excerpt from the Fourth Testament of Zol Anamki.
That's what we'll call today's episode, everybody.
Thank you very much.
Yay!
Sink as fuck.
That was awesome.
Tight.
Thank you all so much for listening to this episode of A Chaos Odyssey.
Please support us at NarrativeDeclaration.com.
And of course, go to Patreon to get all
the episodes in advance if you listen to this on YouTube and or podcast.
Of course, thank you all so very much.
Please follow everybody in their social
medias and their projects down in the descriptions below.
If you're listening to us on YouTube and
always check out the cast on the website itself.
Thank you all so very much.
Thank you all for being amazing players.
Thurston.
You did a great job today.
Great job, players.
And see you guys next time.
Goodbye.
Bye.
Bye.
Have a good one, Dark City.