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“Words of Wisdom” is an initiative to document and celebrate the stories, insights, and wisdom of Singapore’s senior citizens. It's powered by Folklory, a service dedicated to preserving stories through audio podcasts, who will collaborate with 60 seniors aged 60 and above to create a series of 60 podcasts, each capturing a unique slice of Singapore’s rich history and culture. Find out more info at Folklory.com
00:00:00:00 - 00:00:24:08
Unknown
Hello there. This is Terence from folkloric. What? You're about to listen to a podcast from the Words of Wisdom project, where we spoke to 60 Singaporeans over the age of 64 as you, 60, and captured their life lessons for the next generation. We hope you enjoy it.
00:00:24:10 - 00:00:49:15
Unknown
Hi, Jenny. I think the best way for us to start is for you to introduce yourself and to tell us your age. Oh, yeah. Okay. I'm 76 anyway. This year. Okay. I see you were born this way. That's correct. 1948. In 1948. So, you know, and because we're here to talk about life lessons that people over 60 have for the next generation.
00:00:49:17 - 00:01:19:17
Unknown
One place I do want to start with is how his life been for you since you crossed the milestone of 60 years. How has life been since then? He's been, good so far. There's not much, problem except a which is getting old. You get some pension there. That's. I think it's natural, you know. So, you know, things that add to the, at, that need much more notice.
00:01:19:19 - 00:01:38:03
Unknown
Got it, got it. And I'm sure in your life, a lot of interesting experiences have happened. Okay, so maybe because you want to talk about love, maybe you want to talk about your experience when it comes to romantic relationships. Like, for you. Can you tell me a bit about how you met the love of your life?
00:01:38:05 - 00:01:57:17
Unknown
Okay. You want me to know? Well, I met my husband. How? Like, had been the other one. Yes, yes. How did you guys meet? Oh, okay. I met him at a very young age. At the age of maybe 60 or 70. You know, we have our contract for ten years. Then we get married and marry him at the age of 27.
00:01:57:21 - 00:02:20:01
Unknown
He's one year younger than me. We know when the not to travel, work and process. You marry? Of course we have ups and downs, you know, and it's time to. I think, until when we were 16 years of marriage, we were both twice as a Catholic. And some day, I think, like, I take a little bit of changes where God came into our lives.
00:02:20:03 - 00:02:44:04
Unknown
And we attended a program called Marriage Encounter. I don't know whether you heard of it. Yeah, I encounter some day. I would like to have it be a turning point that we know that. What is marriage like and how we got to face our challenges as we journey together as a couple, you know, so we have been involved with this program until today, and we keeping the initial couples and all that.
00:02:44:04 - 00:03:08:03
Unknown
So it helps it give us a of the strength, in our region to have our relationship, to strengthen our relationship. No. And we, we learn not to take one another for granted. And the most important thing is in the marriage, I think it's communication. Maybe anything we need to share with one another, especially our feeling how we feel in order for us to strengthen our relationship.
00:03:08:05 - 00:03:30:06
Unknown
I think, of course, no matter what I like, you know, I'm not perfect person. Of course we have, our pure argument. But you have to understand one another better. I see. Yeah. So could you tell me what is the. Yeah. The secret to the longevity of your marriage? Okay. We had we set up our for the anniversary.
00:03:30:08 - 00:03:59:20
Unknown
I have two children. My son is 48, and they specify that my daughter is 46 from the 42. They're both married? No. Deceased friend. I think it's a trust that one another that, we trust one another. Even the spinoffs I'm used to where he traveled to Vietnam for two years. We we trust one another in a way that, we we we tell him.
00:03:59:20 - 00:04:23:05
Unknown
No, not that there's no separation between us, that in a way, you know, we share, you know, dependability of, quality of a life. And you reach to think you have different challenges. That's the same. You know, when you find yourself in the 70s, the. No. We still got challenges in our life, but we we we we we talk to one another, anything.
00:04:23:05 - 00:04:44:07
Unknown
We very open our communication maybe that keeps us going down. Okay. And, we're recording this as part of something that we want to pass down to the next generation. Yeah. So could you give us advice that you would give to young people when it comes to looking for love? Okay, maybe I get okay. I give an example.
00:04:44:07 - 00:05:03:03
Unknown
When my son met my children married, my son married, I guess, my daughter in law and came to sit in front of us. And we first thing we tell my son is, is, you know, he has he's married. The first love that he got to give is, is the wife is not. They don't care about the parents.
00:05:03:03 - 00:05:24:01
Unknown
He should respect the parents. But the last person that he loved now should be his wife is not, everything is a parent's. You know, as a parent, I think, we got to be more understanding than that. Especially nowadays. Young couples take a lot of challenge in their life, or so you know that. What? They go to take care of the kids, and then it's not easy.
00:05:24:06 - 00:05:44:03
Unknown
So we go to more understanding and we keep the support better, but we can't I don't look after my grandchildren. They also don't want me to go after they say we are not. Yeah, I mean, we should enjoy our own life. So wherever there's need, we always help out. That's all I see. So your advice to people is that the first love should always go towards your partner.
00:05:44:05 - 00:06:04:10
Unknown
Your spouse. Yeah. The spouse should be your number one. Okay. So for yourself, if you could go back in time to when you first met Desmond and tell a young Jenny like one, give her one piece of advice about her relationship. What is this one piece of advice that you would give for young Jenny? Yeah, again, I don't know.
00:06:04:12 - 00:06:23:16
Unknown
I would say I want to I don't want to look at what is that? The deep past, isn't it? What I did trust is a very deep past. If you look back, it would that we are not. We wouldn't know, you know are you are you choose adoptions consistently. God choose another one. There's no guarantee. But because you appreciate one.
00:06:23:18 - 00:06:39:20
Unknown
What we should say, I will appreciate what I have today. Now, at this moment, the other thing, I look back and I say, oh, I do. I don't do the I don't think I want to be looked at in this type of thing. So I see, I see well that's very good. Yeah. It's no time. Okay. Can you bring that.
00:06:39:20 - 00:07:01:17
Unknown
I cannot think that the time back to that time, you see maybe. Is it okay, can I do better now. Today may be. Yes. Yeah. You know, if I can still continue to serve in, having couples in that relationship, I would do it. That's all. You know, but a plus two. Yeah, it's a thing. Yeah, it's. I did you, did you seven two.
00:07:01:17 - 00:07:25:17
Unknown
But if you still keep two couples, you stay two native couples. I mean, romance on love is a very big part of everyone's lives. But the other aspect of people's lives, there's also important, is maintaining relationships with friends and family. Right. So what has friendship meant to you? How important is friendship been in your life? Okay.
00:07:25:19 - 00:07:52:11
Unknown
It to me always. There's a the prophecy of saying India is is, I think right. I think, if I confess will really take top of in that marriage or whatever we usually used to talk to them and advise them, know give them share story with them. We always say couples are not always perfect. We just got to know, just given another chance and to love one another.
00:07:52:12 - 00:08:16:23
Unknown
No, it's okay. I think we believe in our sacrament of marriage. So we got to treasure I. We bring about a spouse. So in your life, how have you decided as someone is worth investing time and building a relationship with as a friend? How do you judge whether you know it's worth your time? Somebody must find you and most sincere, you know and the more you seek go around with you.
00:08:16:23 - 00:08:42:02
Unknown
I rather think to some not very critical or the I think more easy to talk to know. And as you know, life is a very long road. So what is your secret to maintaining relationships with your friends across the years? Yeah, but a, is trust, not, you know, if you trust your friend and your friend trust you, you got more than I share with you and need more confidence.
00:08:42:04 - 00:09:01:16
Unknown
Got it. And I think you mentioned a little bit earlier about, well, of course, your spouse or your partner takes priority. Family is still important. So what do people need to do to maintain good relations with their family? Yeah. Oh I think like like, I think it should be respect. I think the most important you must respect.
00:09:01:16 - 00:09:23:16
Unknown
I always tell much that you got to respect the elders, you know. And when you say to respect the elders, how do you show respect to elders? Etiquette for me, my son. Okay. Remember, simple things like, I always tell you, you don't have to buy expensive thing like that. They buy me that. Tell me, mom, teach that biscuit that you love so much.
00:09:23:18 - 00:09:43:12
Unknown
That's it? Yeah, a long time, I think we. I told him they didn't touch that. You have for me I feel love, I see, I see. Okay, that's a very nice message. It's the small things that can help people feel loved. Yeah, that's more thing. Yeah. I also you don't have to buy me, yeah. No, the the thing that you remember what mums like you say, you know.
00:09:43:14 - 00:10:05:12
Unknown
So what is one small nice thing that you've done lately to show appreciation or respect for friend? If I spend my time with them, you know. Yeah. So it's about dedicating time to them and. Yeah. Tammy. Tanya. Got it, got it. Okay, so, you know, we spoke a bit about your marriage, your friendships. And I also wanted to touch a little bit about your work.
00:10:05:14 - 00:10:27:00
Unknown
How would you characterize your work? Like what would you describe yourself, as doing in your line of work? Okay. I you're looking for line my house, right? Thanks. My sense. What you just. Oh, I give up my job because, the time. Because it is in school. So we have I had the I love the attachment.
00:10:27:00 - 00:10:43:11
Unknown
And then he say it's time for me. Maybe I give up my job to look after my own children. You know, it cannot depend on me. Okay? So I give up my job. Since then, until today, I have never been back to work. I the first two years I was a bit, I, I feel it was a hard time for me.
00:10:43:11 - 00:11:05:03
Unknown
For the first three years. It was a big chunk of change for me. I wish I would give up my job, I would, I don't work, and then. No. But I think as I look back, I think, it's a good decision because what I see in today is a result. No. So let me ask you, being a homemaker can be as busy or even more busy than actual job.
00:11:05:04 - 00:11:26:02
Unknown
The office. So yeah. What do you think is the hardest part of being a homemaker? I think a homemaker is worst thing of me, I think. I think now they got, a compulsory standard, which I don't have. So what kept me going when you were very tired, you know, doing housework and everything. What was it that motivated you?
00:11:26:04 - 00:11:45:20
Unknown
Look at me going, I would say, I prepare a lot now. I, I really ask God for this training. Actually, many times, especially, I do my work especially, and I would not very easily get tired. And then I used to to house my house. I also like to give me and give me the strength to do what I need to do, to be.
00:11:45:22 - 00:12:02:08
Unknown
I think there is one thing I did. I got a lot. Yeah. Got it. So what is one piece of advice that you would give to a young mother, a young homemaker, who is in a situation where they feel like, oh, you're not in the right position, having chosen to take care of my kids and staying at home.
00:12:02:10 - 00:12:24:04
Unknown
What's your advice for the young mother? If I was tell a young couple the, if they're for me, I would say, of course, sometimes you're very, very fed up, especially the children. But sometimes try to be creative is. Look at the love that you have brought them. You know, one day they will go up into a little, from a little girl during a doubt.
00:12:24:06 - 00:12:45:16
Unknown
And, and the next day you will get, I think is, is a price that you will pay for it. But, you know, it'd be better if the way you bring up yesterday, you know, we don't have to sacrifice. But I think in the end, you will get that love back. Okay. That's a very useful piece of advice.
00:12:45:18 - 00:13:08:14
Unknown
So we've spoken quite a lot about the advice that you would have for the real relationships in your career. And I wanted to ask you, what in your life is one piece of advice that someone has given you that has stayed with you throughout your life? Been to meet my life. I think, I think to me, whatever I do, I do it with my love.
00:13:08:14 - 00:13:25:19
Unknown
Like no matter big or small. You see, it's like I do it with my love. Then, like, what matters is I always say you do to create things, but you do it out with your love. That would be a good thing. So I think, you know, so whatever I do in my life, I think I do it.
00:13:25:20 - 00:13:46:12
Unknown
People love it. Got it, got it. So basically to do everything with love and passion. Yeah. Got it. Okay, great. I think you've given us some really good things to think about. And for young Singaporeans as well, something to think about. Are there any last words of advice that you want to give to people, or a young person who happens to be listening to this today?
00:13:46:14 - 00:14:07:12
Unknown
Do the young people advice? I think I know the young people they live as, but they want to live for tomorrow. You know, you see the lady, as you say, treasure your life and make it to the fullest. Live it to the fullest. No matter what you say.
00:14:07:14 - 00:14:14:08
Unknown
And I.
00:14:14:10 - 00:14:43:05
Unknown
Hello again. I hope you enjoyed listening to that for me. Words of wisdom is a project by Charlotte Go, powered by Full Glory and supported by our Singapore Fund. To find out more, please visit our website at Folklorico. That's f okay o r y a.com. Goodbye.