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Our souls have been stolen by Orzo, leaving us isolated, powerless, and completely in the dark - but somehow, we still have each other.
We are PBOP - a TTRPG actual-play podcast where we pretend to be other People! Join us for, hilarious improv, immersive storytelling, and an original score to set the mood. Subscribe now and adventure along with us - for excitement, for love, and for giggles!
Last time on Cursebreaker. We're having a ball. Not really. We spent the whole evening just trying to find each other at the Wisher Spoon estate, and when we did, it was time to dance. Holly has Dolly, Ooly has Dave, And snack also has Dolly.
Tim / GM:We all got one magical moment to gaze into each other's eyes and then Orzo. This whole thing was a trap. Everyone in the party had their souls locked away into gemstones.
Speaker 2:I'm sorry, Snack. I didn't have a choice.
Tim / GM:You are in a room with flat angular walls made of dark polished stone. You can just barely see in the darkness, but you know that this room is not much bigger than you. There's no windows, no doors, no escape. No one is coming to help you. No friends.
Tim / GM:No sudden portals. What does Uli do?
Speaker 3:Well, clearly,
Speaker 4:Uli would use her fists.
Tim / GM:Alright. You're just gonna punch the wall in front of you?
Speaker 3:Yes. Okay.
Speaker 4:I'm just gonna start wailing on it, I guess.
Tim / GM:Give me an unarmed attack roll.
Speaker 4:10.
Tim / GM:There's a little bit of hesitation in punching a flat, hard surface. When you do, you don't really see much of anything. You didn't know where this was gonna go, and where it goes is very real pain.
Speaker 3:Is my Dave patch still on?
Tim / GM:Whichever one you had on last is still active. Yeah.
Speaker 4:That would be a 12 instead.
Tim / GM:Yeah. I think even with a 12, it's just not enough power to really make any difference here.
Speaker 4:Do I still have magic as a ghost?
Tim / GM:You're not sure yet. You haven't really tried it out, and you just kinda got here and started pounding the walls.
Speaker 4:As I'm pounding on the walls, I'm gonna try and, like like, charge my fist with, fire bolt, I guess, so I don't waste a spell slot.
Tim / GM:Sure. Cantrips usually don't take a lot from you. Like, it's not very difficult to perform 1.
Speaker 4:Mhmm.
Tim / GM:But here, it seems even like less of an ask. Using cantrips is like breathing. Like it just comes easily.
Speaker 3:Oh.
Tim / GM:You, charge your fist with a fire bolt and go to punch the wall. You get much of the same effect. Not really much is happening here, but you can tell that magic in some way is
Speaker 4:unlimited here. Sick. Okay. Can I use shatter? Yeah.
Speaker 4:I'm gonna do that. Okay. Also, I'm getting a little panicky because I'm trapped in a in a gym. Okay. Don't surge.
Tim / GM:This is about as prime a target as you could get for shatter. You see the walls start to vibrate here, such that they all begin to blur and this whole place just turns into this kind of like color blob for you for a couple seconds as you watch it all shutter around. But when it finishes, you don't see any of the fissures that you expected or any of the big cracks. You don't see any sand or gem dust or anything. It seems unharmed.
Speaker 4:I'm just gonna keep punching until I get tired and I start crying. Okay. I guess.
Tim / GM:Give me another attack roll, why don't you? Okay.
Thomas / Guy:26.
Tim / GM:Okay. Uli, this time, when you punch the wall, you punch it as if you expected to get through it. And you don't, but, the whole room shakes even more than during your shatter spell. And when it shakes, the darkness in here breaks up a little bit. And you can see that you're not inside a black chamber.
Tim / GM:You're inside an opal. A black opal. This place is made of dense colors that are packed tightly together. Mostly a luminous bright blue with flecks of pink and red and orange.
Speaker 3:Oh, it's really pretty. Let me out you piece of shit.
Thomas / Guy:Bert.
Tim / GM:Uh-oh. This is not what you expected at all. Your spirit was lifted into the air, so were your parents. They had been tricked too. Everyone had been.
Tim / GM:You are currently inside an emerald, except you're trapped in here. The walls are opaque green and flash with brightness and
Thomas / Guy:Oh, was that a orzo? Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Okay.
Thomas / Guy:Okay. So my soul is trapped inside a gem. What do I do? I start flipping through my book looking for things to do.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You start at the beginning at, like, lamplight, essentially, seeing if there's any clues. And, I mean, do you wanna go page by page or skim through? Suffice to say, Bert, you've got time.
Thomas / Guy:I want to find the part where we located the emeralds, read that, and then also since my parents arrived in Lamplight and we met them.
Tim / GM:Since your parents had returned to Lamplight, you just noticed their word choice. They were especially hasty about this. You would talk to them a couple times, and they had mentioned things about, like, the next phase of life and true immortality. This seems to line up with some things that Orzo had said.
Thomas / Guy:Did Bert see his parents get spirited away as well?
Tim / GM:I think you did, actually. You were near your father when this happened, and you were in the far back of the room as well. So around the same time, when you got lifted out of your spirit, you saw your father collapse at the same time.
Thomas / Guy:Okay. I can't believe Orzo tricked all of us, including my stupid parents. This never would have happened if they weren't so power hungry. Bert is going to shut the book for a second.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Thomas / Guy:He's going to try to reach out to that other book with a divine invention. Divine intervention. Yep. The ability that never works in the history of D and D.
Tara / Journey:K.
Thomas / Guy:I missed by 3.
Tim / GM:Oh my god. You got a 13?
Thomas / Guy:I got a 15. I would have lost a 10.
Tim / GM:Oh, 12. Oh, a 12 level. Right?
Thomas / Guy:Yep. Okay. Oh, I'm so close.
Speaker 7:You just get a bovine intervention instead
Speaker 3:of the bone.
Speaker 4:Dave is like Hey.
Tim / GM:I'm in here too. The book will not solve your problem for you, but it will give you some tools.
Thomas / Guy:Hey.
Tim / GM:When you do that, Bert, you get an injection of knowledge, not unlike ones that you've had before. You have this vision of the book carved of marble, high in the peaks of the tower of knowledge, with the sun shining through displaying shadows on the pages. You see the instruction manual for a whisper quill. Inside that, you see a couple special notes Mhmm. That if you know the first and last name of somebody, you can direct a message to them, regardless of really how well you know them at all.
Tim / GM:If you know Uli Niss' full name, you could send a message to her. If you know Moja Riz's full name, you could send a message to him. You also find out that you can include vagaries in your whisper quill messages. You can tag at nearby allies. You can tag at city of Tildry.
Tim / GM:Hashtag.
Speaker 4:Oh, shit. You can copy all.
Thomas / Guy:Why did I never read the instruction manual before?
Tara / Journey:BCC.
Thomas / Guy:Yes. Check this out. Forward. Forward. Yeah.
Thomas / Guy:Forward. Forward.
Tara / Journey:If you don't forward this message to 10 of your friends, you will be trapped in a gem for all of your people.
Thomas / Guy:Well, let's see if this works. I'm missing out the roofer. Dear Tibia, it seems we have all been trapped inside of a magical gem. How's it going for you? Sincerely, Bert.
Tim / GM:You finish writing that message, and you see it, like, lift away from you, away from the page after you strike it out. And then you see it, like, slap against the wall of the gem that you're in, the emerald. And you see the text written on the wall.
Thomas / Guy:And
Tim / GM:then you see text come into the gem. And the text reads, untold ages pass while you toil here.
Thomas / Guy:Can I tell anything from the script? Like, it does this match the Tiltry book?
Tim / GM:No. It looks like hastily scrawled notes of a monk or something. Under that, it says, it pains me that I don't get to watch your feeble attempts at escape.
Thomas / Guy:Getting a little sassy. Alright. Let me try another one.
Speaker 4:ASL.
Thomas / Guy:Dear Mojo Riz, if you're really missing our chances to escape so much, why don't you let us out? Sincerely, Bert.
Tara / Journey:Dear shithead, love Bert.
Tim / GM:You receive, dear Engelbert, where's the fun in that?
Thomas / Guy:Dear Mojo, well, it just sounded like you were upset about not being able to see us escape. So
Tim / GM:Dear Engelbert, I'm upset at missing the futility of it all. I know you're never going to get out.
Thomas / Guy:Dear Mocha, we'll see about that.
Tim / GM:Dear Engelbert, I guess we will.
Thomas / Guy:Dear Moja, I guess we will.
Tara / Journey:All caps.
Tim / GM:A snack. You are trapped in a tiny room made entirely of red. What have you done?
Thomas / Guy:What have you done?
Tim / GM:The whole this small closet that you're in is made of entirely red. The all the walls and floor are red, but it's all made of red hard.
Speaker 7:Snake is breathing hard. I'm going to jump to each of them and try scratching at each wall.
Tim / GM:You make an uncomfortable scraping noise as your thick claws and talons scrape against this rock hard gemstone.
Speaker 7:I fumble for the lamp.
Tim / GM:You don't find it. I fumble for the thieves' tools. You do find them.
Speaker 7:Alright. I take those out and glance around. Is there any imperfections at all on this cube?
Tim / GM:Imperfections. Yeah. And then it's not exactly a cube. They're made of irregular triangular facets. It's almost like a like a crystal that was grown.
Tim / GM:You know?
Speaker 7:I throw the thieves' tools down. Okay. I'm gonna shoot eldritch blast everywhere.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. You see these, eldritch blast hit the wall and plume out, coating you in this, like, magical equivalent of, like, sulfurous dust, as they smack against the walls here. And then you hear, Snack, stop it. Stop it.
Speaker 8:Genie? Stop blasting everything. Well, that well, fine. But where are you?
Tim / GM:Okay. Don't freak out.
Speaker 8:We in the lamp right now? Is this a new, room? I hate this room.
Speaker 2:Snack, we had to leave the lamp behind.
Tim / GM:There was no other way for us to stay together and there was no way I could face Orzo on my own. Do you understand?
Speaker 8:Yes. Of course. But why why are you using this tone with me, Genie?
Speaker 9:I had to curse you a little bit. Right. Yes. You've done this. I'm, I'm inside.
Speaker 9:Do you snack?
Speaker 7:What? I, like, I guess I'm naked. I so I look I look down
Speaker 8:in my chest and stuff
Speaker 7:and, like, try to see where the voice is coming from.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You don't really see see any sign of Genie, but it's no different than when he, like, communicates with you all the time. You just kind of feel this warm rumble in your head when he talks.
Speaker 8:Now that you have done this, Genie, are we more powerful? Is this part of becoming a dragon? Is this the egg inside? A dragon egg, and then soon I'll be reborn as a powerful beast?
Tim / GM:Actually, yeah.
Speaker 8:Oh, okay. I've waited so long for this. Can I tell Idris now? I'll concentrate really hard.
Speaker 7:And I stand in the corner of the room and I'm thinking Idris, Idris, Idris.
Tim / GM:About him. What? First of all, I don't think
Speaker 2:he can hear you from here, and I think he's gonna be mad at you.
Speaker 8:Well, we shall see. I will be a powerful dragon then too, and
Speaker 7:we will meet eye to eye.
Tim / GM:Yeah. But he better not step to you. I will throw a hand, Snack. I swear to God.
Speaker 8:Well, Genie, what do we do next then? How do we get out of this egg?
Tim / GM:Suffice it to say the tables have turned, Snack. You're the one with the power here. I don't know.
Speaker 8:This seems how it always has been.
Tim / GM:Right. Yes. You have yes.
Speaker 7:Yes. Cross my arms.
Tim / GM:What am I saying? You've always been the godlike one. Any ideas? And he throws an elders bolt at the wall.
Speaker 8:I we already tried that.
Speaker 7:I'd fumble for Tom Berry's gavel. Okay. Do I find it?
Tim / GM:Yeah. And say Malboro. A waterlogged corpse that has burned to a No. Wow. You do not see any kind of reaction.
Tim / GM:You don't know if it's because he's not alive or if because it doesn't work from inside the gym.
Speaker 7:I try another name. I would try Dave. I hit the gavel on my knee again and say Dave.
Tim / GM:Okay. When you call out for Dave, you get no effect. You can conclude the gavel does not work from in here.
Speaker 8:Well, shit. Genie, you are supposed to give me a direction here.
Tim / GM:Well, brute force isn't going to get us out. The Eldridge blast proved that, I think.
Speaker 7:So maybe I kill with kindness.
Speaker 2:I mean,
Tim / GM:we could give it a shot.
Speaker 7:Right. I, cast crate food and water.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 7:And I tried to give some food to the wall.
Tim / GM:Cool. Alright. You are, like, knee deep in food inside this ruby.
Speaker 7:Okay.
Tara / Journey:Oskar can get so stinky in there.
Tim / GM:Yeah. Some oatmeal, like, slides down the wall, and you and Genie just kind of, like, watch it for a while. Occasionally, Genie will just, like, pop out and kind of, like, appear, like, near your shoulder, and then he just, like, reassimilates with you. Okay.
Speaker 7:I licked the wall a little.
Speaker 2:K.
Speaker 7:And then I tried to look I put my eyeball, like, physically on where I licked to see if I can see through.
Tim / GM:The ruby blushes? What do you want here? Can I see through? Oh, a little bit you can, actually. There's some, like, light and shadow playing outside.
Speaker 7:Is it another room?
Tim / GM:Give me a perception check with this advantage.
Tara / Journey:Because you're looking through oatmeal. Yeah.
Speaker 7:No. It was where I well, I guess I did eat some oatmeal. 6.
Speaker 10:He licks his eyeball with his tongue to clear off some of the oatmeal.
Tim / GM:It's pretty hard to see out there snacking.
Speaker 7:I'm gonna try to I'm gonna try to cast Misty Step. Okay. I see some light and I'm going for it.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. You, I think you appear right where you are after a brief second.
Speaker 7:Is there still oatmeal and water everywhere?
Tim / GM:You're still in the same ruby that you have now ruined.
Thomas / Guy:Okay.
Speaker 7:I'm going to breathe out
Tim / GM:fire. Cool. Great. You're immune to it, so go nuts. Yeah.
Tim / GM:There's not like a creme brulee skin on top of all the food that you put in here.
Thomas / Guy:Okay.
Tim / GM:I think we'll move to Tibia.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. Yeah. I tried.
Tim / GM:You are in a shadowy violet chamber alone with your thoughts.
Speaker 3:Oh, no.
Tara / Journey:Tibia was going to sit on the floor cross legged and look around. Can I perceive?
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Tara / Journey:17.
Tim / GM:Okay. With the 17 perception, I think you also noticed that there is, like, light and shadow playing outside. There is some movement to whatever is happening here. You might have caught a glimpse of Orzo's cape. It's fair to conclude that you are in an amethyst gym on Orzo's cape.
Tim / GM:Wherever he moves changes the light in here a little bit.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Tara / Journey:I'm gonna can I reach out at all with my necromancy?
Tim / GM:You can, but it doesn't get very far.
Tara / Journey:Okay.
Tim / GM:You feel it all just kind of plink up against these walls and just barrel into it without getting anywhere.
Tara / Journey:Okay. I'm gonna try casting summon undead
Speaker 2:k.
Tara / Journey:And call forth an undead spirit.
Tim / GM:Interesting. Okay. Your amethyst shakes a little bit, and then you see the color in here change up just the tiniest amount. And you turn around to see that one of the facets of this crystal that you're in has changed to show a TV screen of another gem, and it's your mother.
Speaker 3:Mama? Is
Tim / GM:that you? Is that you?
Speaker 3:Uh-uh, we I'm I'm here.
Tim / GM:You hear this like, pong as she like slams right up against the edge of her crystal, and she's like pressing her face, and she's like, did you
Speaker 3:Oh, you're not dead. You're just trapped. All you are trapped like all of us.
Speaker 2:Of course, we are trapped.
Speaker 3:Oh, we are in the the gems of
Speaker 4:the How are you here?
Speaker 3:I I came to this Wedgeborn Estate with my friends. I was searching for you. I'm trying to defeat much or so. Whatever.
Speaker 2:I'm so proud of you. I can't believe you take this upon yourself to seek us out.
Speaker 3:I followed the clues you left behind.
Speaker 2:Oh, Tibby, we should not have it. It's too much. I'm sorry.
Speaker 3:It is not it is not just you. It is not just because of who we are. It is the whole world. Mama, I've I've been working with the Carsbreakers.
Tim / GM:She kinda, like, perks up, and she, like, nods her head. She's like, you
Speaker 2:you met you met them.
Speaker 3:Of course. Well, some of them.
Speaker 2:Have you met, a Joe, McMillan?
Speaker 3:Oh, he is in jail now. You are
Tim / GM:In jail.
Speaker 2:He pointed us in the right direction. Yeah.
Speaker 3:He is not doing things.
Speaker 2:We would not have had any of the success that we had.
Speaker 3:I would not call all
Speaker 10:of this success. Perhaps he
Speaker 2:did not lead us in the right direction then.
Speaker 3:He had the right idea, but he had a very bad implementation.
Tim / GM:She kinda, like, shrugs and smiles and says, you never know who
Speaker 2:you can trust.
Speaker 3:I I don't know how to get out of here, but I was able to use my magic to connect with you. Maybe I can continue to connect with others and we can find a way.
Speaker 2:Yes. Oh, call your pen.
Tara / Journey:And I'm gonna cast it again. K. I got it.
Tim / GM:You don't have to mark the spell slots in here. Oh, dope. Yeah.
Tara / Journey:Yeah. I I reach out again. Summon undead. Do I get a choice?
Tim / GM:Yeah. Your father picks up immediately. It's not really that you have a choice. It's that they are the closest thing to your energy Sure. No matter where you are.
Tara / Journey:Sure. And they've got some some of the same necromancy going on.
Tim / GM:Definitely, they do. They're always reaching out for you, and they always happen. That's why you could see them in the labyrinth. Aw.
Tara / Journey:Dang. Oh, that's so good.
Speaker 3:Papa, I've called my mom. I've called you now. I'm here too.
Tim / GM:Your father kind of appears on the screen and he gets, like, way too close to it until it's, like, looking up his nose, and he's just like, Dovio? Dovio, I can
Speaker 2:see you in the screen. Is this you?
Speaker 3:We, we are all, well, trapped, unfortunately. How does it work? It's just magic, papa. Tap. Tap.
Speaker 3:Tap. We are not actually connected. It is just magic.
Speaker 2:I can see your mother.
Speaker 3:Papa.
Tim / GM:Your mom just kinda like waves. They're on opposite facets across the room. 1 kind of towards the floor, one kinda towards the ceiling. And you just she was like, hello.
Speaker 4:We need
Speaker 3:to think of a way to get out of here.
Tim / GM:They're kind of talking past you for a second, and your father's just like, it
Speaker 2:has been so long. I miss you so much. You're so beautiful as the
Speaker 4:day I saw you.
Speaker 3:Mama, papa. What?
Tim / GM:Yes. Okay.
Speaker 3:Focus.
Speaker 2:Right. Something about, the whole world, you said?
Speaker 3:Yes. This person is trying to gain power across the world, and he is opening up gates to the underworld everywhere, tears between the realities.
Speaker 2:Also. Yes?
Speaker 3:Yes. There are ways that I know Joe tried to help you find ways to stop him with the vampire yucky juice, and there are also ways with music that he can be defeated that I have tried a little bit, but I am still very new at it. And I don't know what to do while we are trapped in here.
Speaker 2:Unfortunately, Tibia, it seems you fell for the same trap that we did. Oui. But this is progress, and she kind of
Tim / GM:gestures to, like, the fact that you're connected right now.
Speaker 2:There are some things that I think we know that you do not.
Tim / GM:And she kind of, like, looks down at your father again, and
Speaker 2:they nod at each other. She says, the whole problem is behind the throne of Vindorin also is forcing his people to spend their magic every single day to destroy the Weave in Vindorin. They are trying to make no difference between life and death, but the real problem is behind the throne itself. There is a hollow in the mountain Vindorin. Inside this hollow is a tail unlike anything we have seen.
Speaker 2:A hole, your father says. A break in the reef.
Speaker 3:Is that where he came from?
Speaker 2:It is. And it is where this will end.
Speaker 3:I just need to close it.
Speaker 2:Correct. That one alone will do it. Russian.
Thomas / Guy:You have traveled far, Xavier.
Speaker 3:Well, the problem remains that we are trapped in here and I cannot get out.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Do we but what if we didn't mention this and you got out?
Speaker 3:I suppose. Maybe I can continue to try and reach out to others.
Tim / GM:Or when your mother finishes,
Speaker 2:we could just take a moment for ourselves, Tibio. It has been so long and
Speaker 3:I suppose we we do have time. And it is so good to see you both, and I have so much to tell you about my life. I when I left, it was just amazing. It was amazing, and I want to tell you all about it.
Tim / GM:We'll jump to Holly. You are in a small faceted chamber of clear, solid diamond. Time and motion outside the diamond is pretty abstract. Certain facets of the diamond, little triangles on the wall will show you different scenes, kind of like looking through different windows. And on occasion, you can see exactly where you are.
Tim / GM:You're trapped in a diamond, woven into Orzo's elaborate cape and surrounding you are other gemstones of all different shapes and colors, and inside of those, you can sense your friends. What do you do, Holly?
Tara / Journey:I've had a
Speaker 10:lot of time to think about this since you all have been going. Yeah. I think okay. Let me think for a second. Holly looks down at her body, her spirit body.
Speaker 10:Does does she look like a ghost, or does she look like normal Holly?
Tim / GM:You look like normal Holly. You're not transparent or anything.
Speaker 10:She walks up to the edge of the glass, and she tries to just put her hand on it to touch the diamond.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You can feel, like, room temperature solid rock.
Speaker 10:She presses her face against one side of the glass to, like, look out closer to see if she can get a better image of whatever's closest. Yeah.
Tim / GM:I think it actually changes very rapidly, but for, like, maybe 2 seconds, you are focused on a room that you've seen before. You can see this massive organ in the back of a room, and you can see, like, rows upon rows of people standing, listening to some kind of speech or address. And then that quickly changes, and the light gets all crazy for a second, And then you're suddenly in, like, a small study, and you seem to be alone in there. And then all that light changes, and you're suddenly in the this dank dungeon area, and it just keeps changing like that.
Speaker 10:Do I get the impression that time has changed for how it's passing for me right now?
Tim / GM:It does kind of set in that things outside
Speaker 10:And she takes a step back and okay. Okay. Trapped in a gem. I'm not a lich, I don't think. Or maybe the other me is a lich out there.
Speaker 10:Okay. Holly steps into the middle of the diamond and tries to see the weave in this space.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Tim / GM:The weave is alive in here. On those occasions that you catch glimpses to the other gemstones on this cape, you can see weave lines that are going straight from you to those other gemstones.
Speaker 10:Is it okay. Does it look damaged where I am? Like, can I tell does it look normal of, like, what I've seen before with my connections to my friends?
Tim / GM:They all looked completely intact.
Speaker 10:Holly is gonna try to tug on the Uli strand because that's one that has worked strongest for her before.
Tim / GM:Cool. Uli. Yeah. You are punching on the wall, and you get a sudden response. You get a feeling of encouragement from Holly.
Tim / GM:You just feel her saying yes. Do it. I want you to take advantage on your next attack against the wall.
Speaker 4:Can I kind of boost it with my ability to affect the weave? Yeah. Okay. That's awful. Oh, no.
Speaker 4:14.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah. You, give it a huge wind up with Holly's encouragement, and you, like, smash your hand against the wall. You misjudged the distance a little bit and hurt your hand a little bit, but your crystal vibrates. And for one split second, you can see everyone's faces in each facet, and then it goes away.
Speaker 4:And, then I'll just keep doing it, I guess.
Tim / GM:Holly, not long after pulling on Uli's weave thread, you can see this whole place vibrate, and you can see your friends for a split second. What do you do?
Speaker 10:Holly is going to try basically trying to grab hold of the other 3 of her friends. They're weave threads that she can sense the strongest. So Snack, Tibio, and Bert, and also still holding on to Ollie's. And she is going to try to just, sort of grab them almost physically, I guess, in a sense since they feel strong here.
Thomas / Guy:Mhmm.
Speaker 10:And she's going to try to just give them pulls of, like, I can feel you. I'm with you. And she can feel Ollie's, like, violently shaking, and she's gonna almost, like, try to whip Ollie's weave thread back at her. She'll shake yeah. Like, come on.
Speaker 10:Shake things up. Like, trying to just do anything aggressive to help them.
Tim / GM:We'll take it back to Bert, actually. You're going back and forth with, Orzo.
Thomas / Guy:Dear Mojo, actually, jokes on you because it's actually quite nice in here.
Tim / GM:Dear Engelbert, I'm sorry that you came so far. If I had known that you were even powerful at all, I wouldn't let you develop hope, and I would have just crushed you right away. So, also, dear Engelbert, it won't be long now. We're almost done. You'll see what this is all for, for permanence and happiness and togetherness.
Tim / GM:You are so afraid to let the world move on only because it's different, Because you are afraid of the unknown. Life without pain awaits us. And you're keeping everyone from it. And then this whole place vibrates, and you can hear Holly.
Thomas / Guy:Bert's already drafting a response when this happens. Yeah. Yeah. Holly. Holly, are you there?
Thomas / Guy:Can you hear me? Dear Holly, I'm here. Can you read this? Sincerely, Bert.
Tim / GM:Holly, you see some letters fly at random and hit the facets of your diamond, and it just says, dear Holly, I'm
Speaker 10:Bert. Yeah. I know it's you, dingus. Holly is just gonna try to send her her vibes Yeah. Back to Bert and say, yeah, Bert.
Speaker 10:I know it's you. I can tell from your magic.
Tim / GM:Snack. Your chamber begins to vibrate a little bit, and you feel Holly scolding you.
Speaker 8:What do you want, Holly?
Tim / GM:You turn around, and you see Holly's face, like, looking down at you, but she doesn't look scolding. She looks desperate, and then she disappears.
Speaker 7:I stomp around in the oatmeal.
Tim / GM:Snack, was that really, Holly?
Speaker 8:Maybe. Yes. I I think so.
Tim / GM:Can you touch that wall? What happens?
Speaker 8:Oh, now touch the wall?
Tim / GM:Oh, I guess nothing. Okay. Sorry. That was a bad idea. But she was, like, right there.
Tim / GM:What are we doing?
Speaker 8:I don't know. I I
Speaker 7:and I just punched the wall where she was.
Tim / GM:Okay. Let's try this. Snack. Your right arm gets doubly heavy, such that you start to lean off to the right. Your muscle mass quadruples, and you grow an extra talon, and they become 6 inches long each.
Speaker 2:He said Sure.
Tim / GM:Give it a swipe. Wow. Take an attack with advantage against your gem. 18. Okay.
Tim / GM:You drag 3 claws down with intense excruciating force, and you see it not crack, but scrape away pieces of ruby as you drag it down the side of the wall.
Speaker 8:Yes. Yes. Yes. Let's do it again.
Tim / GM:That's a start. And he, like, sends out your other arms so that you know I have 2 giant dragon talons.
Speaker 3:Wow. Yes.
Speaker 7:I walk on my knuckles up to the wall and just jump up and try to just scrape my way down.
Tim / GM:Yeah. You have these 6, like, trailing claw marks that go, like, ceiling to floor, just like coating this whole room in ruby powder. Tibio.
Speaker 3:And then, so we are all looking like Kobolds, just like snakes. Tibio. And then
Tim / GM:You see Holly's face, like, pop in for a second, and then you see your father, like, look up at the facet on top of his, and
Speaker 2:he goes, oh, hello.
Speaker 3:Miss Ollie?
Tim / GM:Your mother goes,
Speaker 2:who is it?
Speaker 3:Oh, that was my friend Ollie. She must be reaching out somehow.
Speaker 2:Oh, Tio. Is she in the crystal as well, the gemstone?
Speaker 3:Yes. All of my friends are.
Tim / GM:Oh, Tibio. Why didn't you mention this?
Speaker 3:Well, I didn't. I thought you knew. I thought you would know that if I was here, I wouldn't be here alone.
Tim / GM:Well, of course, we want
Speaker 2:to meet your friends, Stevio.
Speaker 3:Well, then let's go.
Tim / GM:Holly, back to you. For a brief instant after you did that big pull, you saw everyone in the diamond, and then it let go for a sec. You feel like you just need another pull.
Speaker 10:Holly is gonna clench her teeth, and she winds up her arms as big as she can, and she's just gonna whip her whole body down and try to whip the threads as hard as she possibly can, just in hopes to try to get through and get out. Okay.
Tim / GM:I think we can see Holly doing this kind of raising her arms up, and then you see both of her forearms just get wrapped and coiled with all of these white lines until there's 100 of them, maybe a1000 of these white strings are tied around her. And then with one motion, she pulls them all down into her body. And this place vibrates again. You can all feel these gemstones shake, and then suddenly, you all appear on each of the facets, and you don't disappear. You can all see each other as if there's little triangular TV screens on every angle of these gems.
Speaker 10:Hello?
Speaker 3:Oh, shit. Hey. Hello.
Thomas / Guy:If you can you hear me?
Speaker 3:Bert, snack. Molly, you're all here. Bonjour. Oh, hi. Hi, Mala.
Speaker 3:These are my parents. They are here as well.
Thomas / Guy:Oh, they from Earth? Yes. Hello.
Tim / GM:What is going on? Are we okay in here?
Speaker 4:Oh. Dave. Dave.
Thomas / Guy:Dave, are you in Iraq too?
Tim / GM:Yeah. I don't like this, you guys.
Speaker 3:Yeah. No. No. This is not fun.
Speaker 4:Okay. I have an idea.
Speaker 2:Engelbert, your mother and I
Tim / GM:need to speak with you.
Speaker 4:Can we mute them?
Speaker 2:Darling, it seems we made a mistake, and I'd like to apologize to you personally.
Thomas / Guy:Can it save it for later?
Tim / GM:I believe
Thomas / Guy:you will not get out of here.
Tim / GM:To your mother that way.
Thomas / Guy:Bert's gonna start moving his mouth to look like he's talking Oh. Pretending that the connection is.
Tim / GM:Roger, would you get in here? I can't get this thing to work.
Speaker 2:I can't, but
Tim / GM:Roger, it's not working. Get in here. Roger. They disappear.
Speaker 10:I have a quick question.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 10:When Holly was feeling the weave thread earlier, did she feel Emery at all? Like, recognize Emery?
Tim / GM:Yes.
Thomas / Guy:Okay.
Speaker 4:Forgot he was here.
Tara / Journey:I was worried he was dead.
Tim / GM:Emery is not here in a gemstone facet.
Speaker 10:But I could just sense his way.
Tim / GM:But you could feel him.
Speaker 4:Okay. Holly, I'm gonna try and come into your diamond.
Speaker 10:Okay. It's gonna get cozy in here. But sure. Sorry.
Speaker 4:I just figured if we were together, it would it would make this easier.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:Can I do what I did with the ward and try and open the facet? Yeah.
Tim / GM:Okay. Yeah.
Speaker 10:Like It's kinda like man I'm imagining like manhandling a portal. Like, Holly learned how to make a portal.
Speaker 4:Yeah. And then I wanna punch
Speaker 10:the And you're just like, I am gonna break this. Operator.
Tim / GM:Olivia just sticks her hands in it and, like, rips it apart.
Speaker 2:I'm coming.
Tara / Journey:It's always like taffy.
Tim / GM:You would like Yeah. So, Uli, you think back to ripping a hole in the ward in the mountain caldera, and you think about grappling with fully formed curses. You think about willing down a tornado with your own mind, and you think about all the spell shaping that you've learned from Rin. And you know what? Fuck it.
Tim / GM:Magic belongs to you.
Speaker 4:Yeah. And
Tim / GM:you rip open the side of this crystal and step into Holly's, and there is maybe 2 inches between you 2.
Speaker 4:Yes. I'm gonna, like, hug her
Tim / GM:super quick. Choice.
Speaker 4:But I'm intentionally hugging her. Making the best out of this. Yeah. Hi. Thanks.
Speaker 4:I missed you. I'm sorry. It was just
Speaker 10:Yeah. No. It's good. It's good. Okay.
Speaker 3:I'm so
Speaker 4:glad you're alive. Yeah. Okay. We can do this together. Right?
Speaker 10:Yeah. Okay. Yep. Okay. This is cozy.
Speaker 4:How about you, get behind me and you direct my hands? Because I can't see what I'm doing, but you can.
Speaker 10:With your weave, my weave Yes. But also your okay.
Tim / GM:Our weave.
Speaker 10:Our weave.
Speaker 4:I just think we work better as a team. Yeah.
Speaker 3:How is it a good idea to have all of us in one gym? That seems like it would be very cramped very quickly.
Tim / GM:No. No more than 2 people will fit in a gym.
Speaker 3:Well, we
Speaker 4:can try and get out.
Speaker 10:Yeah. Right? We're gonna try to break everyone out at the same time. Time is of the essence, so we're just gonna go for it. Holly, basically, she's a backpack now on Uly.
Speaker 10:Yes. And she's gonna try to guide, Uly's hands be from behind, sort of like we're making a pot together. Yeah. But we're trying to grab the pieces. Yeah.
Speaker 10:This is Ghost, literally, but we're both Ghost. We're making the Weave move the way we need to and with Uly's power of controlling it and then my being able to see it. I think what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna try to connect the weaves together, like, almost I I won't quite be able to braid them, but try to push them together and, like, get them to hold. And then I'm gonna try to make them into a portal to get everyone out of their gems. The
Tim / GM:I think you kind of guide Uli's effort here, and sure enough, she is able to interweave these lines in a in a kind of a new way.
Speaker 3:Oh, that tickles.
Speaker 4:Sorry to hear.
Tim / GM:And in fact, you all feel sort of confident or sort of bolstered by this, not necessarily physically or Not necessarily physically or emotionally, but magically. You feel stronger after this is done. It doesn't work, though. It doesn't create a portal. In fact, Holly is spent as far as portals go.
Tim / GM:She used it just to get Joe back to Tildry not too long ago. So that's not an option. You've also noticed that teleportation magic, in the classical sense, doesn't work in here with Misty Step. For all the momentum and energy that you guys had, it dies on the table.
Speaker 10:Uli, it's not working. I I couldn't make a portal.
Speaker 4:That's it's okay, Holly. I I believe that you could have done it if we weren't stuck in magical gem prisons. But maybe I just try it the old fashioned way and make a door. Just tear a door out into the world.
Tara / Journey:Just Kool Aid Man
Speaker 4:Just Kool Aid Man.
Speaker 3:Out of a gym.
Speaker 4:Oh, yeah. I'm gonna pick a facet that doesn't have a face.
Tara / Journey:What? It's a new riddle.
Thomas / Guy:So just a t. Wow.
Speaker 7:Oh, man.
Tim / GM:I see what you're going for, but the facets change so rapidly that it's not like you get to choose what you're digging into when you try to open a hole like that.
Speaker 4:Okay. But all of our friends are permanently? Yeah.
Tim / GM:You're all still there.
Speaker 4:I'm gonna try and open each one.
Speaker 2:Okay. Yeah. You can do that. Okay.
Tim / GM:You can travel to anybody's gym if you want to. Alright. Holly, that was a great try, by the way. I still think you're amazing.
Thomas / Guy:Is that
Tim / GM:Dolly? Dolly, by the way.
Speaker 10:Holly, are you in a gym?
Tim / GM:Totally trapped in here. Yeah. It's great.
Speaker 10:Wow. You even got the fae guy.
Speaker 4:I'm gonna go to Tibios. Mhmm.
Speaker 10:Holly Mom, I'm going to Tibios. Be back later.
Tim / GM:It's like a bunch of, like, personal sleeping pods just kinda put it together.
Speaker 4:I'm going to wrap the weave around me like it's a leash. I don't know. Like our braided friends. So it's we're all, like, holding onto the rope.
Tara / Journey:It's like a tether that she's dragging around.
Speaker 10:I'm just dragging
Speaker 4:my friends with me.
Tim / GM:I see. I think you're you're stretching the extent of the way that the weave wants to change its shape. The braiding works. You were all close enough such that the braid, like, took. You know, like, it stayed when you did it.
Tim / GM:That wouldn't work for just anybody. The rest of this manipulation, however, it seems to resist you a little bit and retain its natural shape.
Speaker 10:Okay. Wait. I have another idea. What if we tried the most powerful spell we know, curse breaks the hell out of here? Oh, Is this a curse?
Speaker 10:I mean, I feel pretty cursed right now.
Thomas / Guy:It's kind of the curse mess.
Speaker 3:It doesn't matter. It doesn't need to be a curse for the curse breaking to work. It's just throwing everything you have at
Speaker 4:it. That's true.
Tim / GM:You all see in your own respective gems, the light is changing very rapidly now, and it's very violent. Not that you feel shaken up and down, but it's almost like a strobe effect. There's a rave on every single gemstone now.
Speaker 3:I think something is happening. Maybe, maybe I can try to annoy Moja.
Speaker 4:I mean, I don't think you have to try.
Speaker 3:Distract him.
Thomas / Guy:I've been working on it the whole time we've been in here.
Speaker 3:I was thinking of maybe trying to throw some music at him. Give
Tara / Journey:me one second. And I turned away from the face Mhmm. And, I'm gonna try casting dissonant whispers
Tim / GM:Okay.
Tara / Journey:Because it's a creature of my choice within range,
Speaker 2:and
Tara / Journey:I don't have to see them.
Thomas / Guy:So
Tara / Journey:I'm gonna try that, and I'm gonna be, like, pacing around my, gym and, like, trying not to look at anybody because I'm a little bit embarrassed. I'm just going, Like, doing that over and over again and just, like, walking around and, like, looking around and
Tim / GM:Dear Engelbert, can you tell that whelp to shut up?
Thomas / Guy:Tibio, it's working. He doesn't like it.
Speaker 3:Okay. And, I keep going. I'm just, la la la la la. Hate you. You're so mean.
Tim / GM:Holly, at that same time, the lights flickering, Tibio's echoes playing out throughout his facet, you see a new line connect to you. It is brighter than almost any other. About as bright as any of your close friends, and then you see a second one exactly like it shoot out and connect to you, and it holds fast. It's not going anywhere. You have their attention.
Speaker 10:Aurizon Moja?
Tim / GM:No. These are new to you. You don't know who's at the other end of this.
Speaker 2:You haven't met them yet.
Speaker 10:Holly reaches out and gives him a little tug.
Tim / GM:There's a kaleidoscopic explosion, And you're all racing through a tunnel of glimmering crystals and bursts of light. You can hear eruptions, like shattering glass and crumbling mountains, and slowly you hear a voice. Come on. Come on. Come on.
Tim / GM:Come on. We have to move now. Come on.
Speaker 4:Are we out? You are
Tim / GM:all out. You look up and see a stranger, a human man with a goatee bleeding from the forehead. He has a little glowing sword at his hip and a bandolier of wands across his
Thomas / Guy:chest. Hello?
Tim / GM:Wow. Wow. You're all, like, for real. This is awesome. Okay.
Tim / GM:Hi.
Speaker 3:Hello. Hi.
Speaker 10:Hello. Are we free?
Tim / GM:You are in a dark chamber with heavy curtains at every window, producing halos of sunlight that someone doesn't want getting in. This room looks like an unkempt dungeon full of makeshift beds. A massive tattered cape lays on the ground, and glimmering shards of precious gemstones crunch beneath your feet. Hi. Okay.
Tim / GM:Listen. He, like, pulls one of the curtains aside and looks out the window. I am Andrew Jay. We helped Emery. He told us about you, and while we're here, consider yourselves saved.
Tim / GM:He, like, looks over his shoulder again.
Thomas / Guy:What? Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Speaker 10:Wait. Emery's here?
Tim / GM:Yeah. He's here somewhere. He, like, looks out the window again. We gotta go.
Speaker 4:Is Dave here?
Tim / GM:Dave is in this room. Yeah. He's, like, looking around just, like, starry eyed.
Thomas / Guy:And parents?
Tara / Journey:Are my parents here?
Tim / GM:Parents are here. Both
Tara / Journey:of my parents.
Tim / GM:Your parents are here as well, Bert. Yep.
Tara / Journey:Just a crowd. Everyone's here.
Tim / GM:I mean, there's literally, like, 70 people in this room. It is a crowd, a thick crowd. Oh, okay.
Thomas / Guy:Like, the people who are at the dance.
Tim / GM:Exactly. Yeah. Across. Andrew is pressed up against this door about to lead people out of here, and he's like, alright. I need everybody single file, calm as we can.
Tim / GM:We need to get out on this bridge and out of here. Listen to what you're told, please.
Tara / Journey:Do I have my bones?
Tim / GM:You, like, look around for your bones, and you hear this, like, rattling near you. There is this, like, giant, like, crate where everything has been haphazardly thrown, and Andrew kind of, like, sees you looking over at it. And he's, like, yeah. Grab your stuff. You're gonna need it.
Tara / Journey:Great. I will summon my bones.
Tim / GM:Your bones burst out of the crate. They literally destroy the crate as they stand up. Your, like, 8 foot tall bone golem of all your collected bones, like, strides towards you and opens up like an Iron Man suit and just, like, lets you into it.
Thomas / Guy:Are there mom and dad bones?
Tim / GM:No. There are mom and dad half skeletons. Oh, that's right. They clamber into theirs. Your dad, a proficient necromancer and spellcaster above all, sits in, dismembered legs that he rides on up to the pelvis.
Tim / GM:Uh-huh. Your mother, a little more down to earth and beat him up, is riding the upper half of a torso skeleton, using its arms to locomote.
Speaker 4:Amazing. Yes. Is your dog part of your bones?
Tim / GM:Yeah. You see somebody kick open a door, and sunlight just, like, explodes into this room, and you see dust and woodcharts going everywhere. And you see a woman standing at the door, and she's like, hey. We gotta go. And Andrew turns around and says, Ellie, you're alive.
Tim / GM:Great to see team b made it. No, we are team a, you are team b. Andrea goes, I'm just fucking boom. Another explosion goes off, and you hear Andrea go, go.
Thomas / Guy:Go. Go. Go. Go.
Speaker 4:Go. We run. I'm running.
Tim / GM:Wait. Wait. Which team were you on?
Tara / Journey:I help corral people out and keep them in line. Yeah. And then I follow last.
Tim / GM:Like, the door literally just falls off the hinges as you're all piling out, and you see it fall some 300 feet into a deep mountain canyon below you. There is nothing but high wind racing across this stone bridge. You've got about 300 feet until you can make it to the mine carts to escape this place.
Thomas / Guy:Mine carts, baby.
Tim / GM:You all turn around and look at the castle of Indorn embedded into the mountain here. You guys were all held in the tallest reliquary tower. Some time has passed. Things look different now.
Thomas / Guy:Are we
Speaker 4:How long were we here?
Thomas / Guy:Why did this say I'm so confused.
Speaker 3:What year?
Thomas / Guy:It's, like, different.
Speaker 10:We're still in Vindorn?
Tim / GM:Margo looks back at all of you. She's got her arm in a sling, and she's like, it's been, like, a month, maybe 2. I don't know. And she keeps running with you guys. Phibolo and Gaspar kind of help each other up, and they're like, we need to go.
Tim / GM:Tibia, what are you doing?
Speaker 3:I'm coming. Okay, let's go. Mama.
Tim / GM:Phableo, like, runs through the crowd a little bit and catches up with his mother. Uli, you, like, stumble a little bit, and you're caught under your armpits by mom who lifts you up to make you stand and says, come on, fireball. You're not giving up now.
Speaker 4:Why are you all here?
Tim / GM:You see a dwarf vampire set down onto the bridge in front of you all and bare its fangs. You see Dor take one step toward it and knock it off the bridge with a hammer.
Thomas / Guy:Yeah. Alright. My man.
Tim / GM:Sid and Norp are sending magic missile bolts as cover for you guys. Buster and Todd Pohl are bringing up the rear. And then finally, you hear, calling from near the mine carts, guys, we gotta hurry up. We don't got long. Get in here.
Tim / GM:2 to a cart. 2 to a cart. 2 in front. 2 second. 2 in 3rd.
Tim / GM:All the way back.
Speaker 8:I want to wait until I can sit in the front cart. I'll take the next one.
Tim / GM:Danny, I never thought I'd see you again.
Tara / Journey:He needs a cart name.
Speaker 3:I'm Kyle Karts. Yes. Cartman.
Speaker 10:I'm Kyle Cartman.
Speaker 3:I'm Kyle Cartman. Get yourselves in heels.
Tim / GM:Take a roll down the old poles.
Speaker 4:I I get in a cart.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah.
Thomas / Guy:Me too.
Tim / GM:You all get up to the carts and are about to step in except snack. Mhmm. You all see lightning crash down not far from you into a tall metal rod, and it seems to electrify the rails that are under the cart, and the cart begins to move. This is a lightning powered roller coaster No. As it begins to take off from the station, Snack, you are outside of the cart, because you are staring down Idris.
Tara / Journey:Oh, shit.
Tim / GM:Thanks so much for listening. I'm Tim, your DM and your genie.
Speaker 10:I'm Hannah playing Holly Hyacinth.
Thomas / Guy:I'm Thomas. I play Engelbert f f Wisherspoon.
Tara / Journey:I'm Tara, and I play Tibio Femur.
Speaker 7:I'm John. I play Snack the Kobalt.
Speaker 4:And I'm Maggie playing Uli.
Thomas / Guy:Dear listeners, thank you for sharing this story with us. If you're wishing there was a way to support us, that's right, you can. Check us out on Twitter and Instagram at pbop_podcast, and leave us a rating and review wherever you're listening. You can even help us out with a small donation at buy me a coffee.com/pbop. Sincerely,