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Harley drops her single and Kevin brings the Bible to life! Plus: The show falls into a Pigeon hole.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
For 25 years, Kevin Smith has tried to make his beardless, dickless twin of a daughter Harley laugh in real life. Now he does it every week on a podcast.
00:00:29
Speaker 1: Walk about.
00:00:32
Speaker 2: To be less dick.
00:00:33
Speaker 1: Let's me I'm Kevin Smith. I appreciate your commitment to the intro.
00:00:40
Speaker 3: That's what being a dad's all about. So did you commit for life?
00:00:45
Speaker 1: The most you've been committed is to the intro totally.
00:00:51
Speaker 3: I would like to point out that my daughter, you know, years ago, we just passed the seven years mark where I had the heart attack almost died, which means I've been a vegan for seven years. At the behest of Harley, she was like, just try.
00:01:09
Speaker 1: No, I wasn't. I was like, you better fucking try it. Or I swear to god.
00:01:13
Speaker 3: She's very very bless me in that moment and more of her mother. Or she was just like, don't question, just do you had no option, but I was gonna do it for a minute, Like I was like, I'll try it for you for a couple of months. But you know, I've been vegan ever since, and I never like, I'm not like this, like fucking nobody's around.
00:01:36
Speaker 2: I have dreams.
00:01:37
Speaker 3: Where like I wind up eating a non vegan thing and I feel like I cheated on you in some fucking weird way.
00:01:44
Speaker 1: It would be it would really it would sting. I would be so so disappointed.
00:01:52
Speaker 3: All right, well, fucking your very first world in one percent, if that's what's going to break it down.
00:01:58
Speaker 1: My response seemed a little to fuckingfensive.
00:02:02
Speaker 3: Well, I came out you're decent your dad to me, I came from a world where you know you gotta leave room for ship. You know other people's Well, there's.
00:02:12
Speaker 1: No room when it comes to your health. You are.
00:02:16
Speaker 2: But anyway, that wasn't the point of all this.
00:02:17
Speaker 1: Point was why are you trying to give me mad I don't know.
00:02:20
Speaker 3: Point was you many years ago saved.
00:02:25
Speaker 2: My life.
00:02:28
Speaker 1: When you put it that way.
00:02:30
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what I was trying to get to. Thank you, though, wouldn't let me get there. No, you did save my life. But tonight you once again helped me fight an addiction. Oh what, because that's what you essentially did by it, like breaking the chain of all the animal fats and stuff that I was eating that nearly put me in the grave.
00:02:56
Speaker 2: And ship Like.
00:02:58
Speaker 3: Tonight you were like, hey, stop buying Bullwinkle ship on eBay. You are seriously affected, and really, I think at the root of it, you're just like, there goes my fucking inheritance.
00:03:16
Speaker 1: That is not the root of it.
00:03:18
Speaker 3: You just spent twenty dollars on a Bonwinkel ruler. That was my twenty to lose.
00:03:22
Speaker 1: That is not the root of it. I simply have just observed over the past few months, maybe one month, you obtain four new shelves for the purpose of displaying your Bullwinkle memorabilia, and they are full, and they are tall shelves.
00:03:45
Speaker 3: Well, we have very tall sealing. That's as Uncle Malcolm pointed out, he goes as midlife crises go.
00:03:54
Speaker 2: It's kind of adorable.
00:03:55
Speaker 1: I know, honestly, it could be so much worse. It could be so much towards I could be.
00:04:01
Speaker 2: Like, Harley, look at my new fucking tesla.
00:04:04
Speaker 1: Oh my god. They don't like that, know they sound like a spaceship.
00:04:10
Speaker 3: I'm like, check out my doesn't. And you're like, that's not a tesla. Somebody's tesla side of a piece of ship.
00:04:17
Speaker 2: Fucking No. Guys older to me like.
00:04:23
Speaker 3: As motherfucker would buy the magic beans.
00:04:25
Speaker 2: I know it. I have been spending a lot of time.
00:04:31
Speaker 3: It is an addiction because every time I open my laptop now, I go to eBay and I go to Facebook Marketplace, and I'm looking for it Goddamn, I don't like this, Mike right in my fucking face.
00:04:42
Speaker 1: Hello, I just can't that we do this every episode.
00:04:47
Speaker 3: I know I can't. I'm gonna say it again. Will because he listens, he has to. Yeah, he's got no choice. He's like, believe me, I don't listen because I want it well. And we have those Janet Jackson head pieces man like control.
00:05:03
Speaker 1: That would be awesome, you.
00:05:04
Speaker 3: Know what I'm saying. So we just put it on and like control get back and this ship where it's like, I feel like a fucking circus seal.
00:05:14
Speaker 1: No, a crab crowd crab crab walk there you go, those of.
00:05:22
Speaker 3: You watching crabs club dout hum boy, you could see me crab walk. It is. It's really hard to It's a hard addiction too, because it can't be fed all the time. Like there's only so much bowl ankle ship that was ever made. That's your when I when I find new things high highs like that Ruler High. That's the eighteen.
00:05:48
Speaker 1: You're thrill in adrenaline that comes from vintage and throoft shopping.
00:05:53
Speaker 3: It's it's like from heroin the way I understand it.
00:05:58
Speaker 1: Whichever one you want to choose, you.
00:06:00
Speaker 3: Thrift shop, you go fucking hunting for t shirts and overpaying ships.
00:06:04
Speaker 1: It's my it's my most favorite thing to do. It just feels like you're finding treasure. It's just about a exhilarating.
00:06:14
Speaker 3: On Facebook marketplace. You know, generally you meet the people in person and stuff one person. Though, it was like I can ship it to it's fucking like cerealble juice glass mug affair, Like I don't know what the material is. It's not it's not like it's not I guess maybe glass, Like I guess it was like the same material as like the bottle, that bottle of iced tea. But you know the way they used to make ship before they made it a plastic because this ship was made in like the late fifties, early sixties, fucking gorgeous, no chipping on the on the logos or anything like that, which were painted on and and it's just like it's beautiful.
00:07:00
Speaker 2: I'll never use it ever.
00:07:03
Speaker 3: Why would? I got bulls, then I got cups and they got glasses.
00:07:07
Speaker 1: It's completely useless.
00:07:08
Speaker 3: It has fulfilled its purpose in another life, but now it's in antiquity. I'm like young Indiana Jones. I'm like this belongs in a museum and now it's in my museum. But I'm collecting I got it if I was instill in therapy and shit, I can suss this out, but I'm collecting things I didn't collect when I was a kid. I didn't have any of this shit. Bonwinchael didn't enter my life until I was like thirteen, fourteen or something like that. Fourteen. I think that's when I start going like this is fucking dope. So it's not like like, oh my god, I had all this when I was a little kid, but I like collecting it all. And I think I talked about like finding out that it wasn't even jay Ward. Yeah I don't. I don't know what it is, but I think it's feeding like an insanely rare addiction because I can't like I can have it stated in this upcoming and doing that big auction. I was talking, Oh, that would be like.
00:08:12
Speaker 1: Rolling around that's gonna be.
00:08:15
Speaker 3: A warehouseful heroine for a year straight as a junkie, Like.
00:08:19
Speaker 1: Oh, it's gonna be insanity.
00:08:22
Speaker 3: But this is my first world problem. We haven't announced anything yet, so like mom's still the word, but we will be shooting a movie.
00:08:33
Speaker 1: For the during the auction. Can you bet on it on the internet?
00:08:38
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I could do it remotely, but I will probably probably be on set. They were they were gonna make so much money off of me if I was in the room, right, Like, I'll be at work and in that moment. That's the other thing too, I think I'm between things. So what I'm I'm like, I don't know how to explain it. I'm in a fan zone moment, but now I'll be switching over to a different fan maintenance. Like this is me maintaining my fandom with all this bulling cool shit, and I legit, Like love the cartoon. It's so fucking amazing, Like I still deep dive on it, especially when like fucking get that right when the news is bleak, which it has been lately, because it's just pure joy. But like the hunt for rare shit, I think maybe maybe I picked this lane aside from it having like, well, I just like this shit, but maybe it's because it's so like rare, you know what I'm saying, Like I can't access.
00:09:56
Speaker 2: Readily. They don't even make new shit barely and whatnot.
00:09:59
Speaker 1: It makes sense.
00:10:00
Speaker 2: I don't know, trying to figure it out, man.
00:10:02
Speaker 3: But it is something of a like obsession where as soon as I like get down to my office, I open my laptop before I do anything else, I see if there's anything newly listed.
00:10:14
Speaker 2: Tonight.
00:10:14
Speaker 3: I saw some two newly listed pieces, which I was like, the fuck, and.
00:10:18
Speaker 1: Then he was trying to quickly buy them, and I was like, Dad, no please.
00:10:22
Speaker 3: I was like, fuck, you make your own money. It's no longer your inheritance.
00:10:27
Speaker 2: It's my Here's the sad truth.
00:10:30
Speaker 3: When I dropped this, Bowwinkle collection can be sold for so much more than I bought it for because it's mine, you know.
00:10:37
Speaker 2: So you said, be like, this was my father's treasure.
00:10:41
Speaker 3: Think about bull Winkle collection. And then you play clips of this these shows where people he fucking loved that, He curiated the fuck out of that. Then you sell it for like four or five times when I got it, then we all win.
00:10:53
Speaker 1: I think I'm going to see your.
00:10:55
Speaker 3: Death fuck yeah, oh god, you fucking come here and drop your own shit off. I think you're gonna take my ship back to your house and build a shrine. I don't think you're that kid. I think.
00:11:07
Speaker 1: I'll keep it as a Musicum, yeah, you're.
00:11:10
Speaker 3: Like, trust me, we both dropped dead. I know what it's gonna be like. It'd be like, seal it, burn it, sell it, give me the fucking proceeds. But what about the curated bo curated? What?
00:11:23
Speaker 1: Stop the fuck?
00:11:25
Speaker 3: I said, seal it, burn it.
00:11:28
Speaker 1: I'd be I'd be trying to keep everything.
00:11:31
Speaker 3: Would you? You might get help from me.
00:11:33
Speaker 1: I don't even want to fucking talk about this.
00:11:35
Speaker 3: I'm gonna discussions we gotta have.
00:11:37
Speaker 1: I'm gonna cry.
00:11:38
Speaker 3: I'm about to be fifty five this year. You're young, I know, but just in case, we never know. The day of the Lord cometh like a thief in the night, so one can never know. So we should have this discussion.
00:11:51
Speaker 1: Lord try. The Lord tried.
00:11:54
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know you know who who is undefeated? Undefeated ultimately the Lord.
00:12:02
Speaker 1: The Lord tried, though, and he did not succeed. That's right, because I said no veganism.
00:12:08
Speaker 3: Yeah you were in there, you did, That's true. I tell people, when the Lord comes calling again, I won't point to doctor Leydonheim as the.
00:12:20
Speaker 1: Guy for the people that called the ambulance and a timely fashion.
00:12:26
Speaker 3: Jordan Emily, who were the ambulance for responders with the hospital.
00:12:29
Speaker 1: None of them.
00:12:31
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, the Lord in your direction? You ready to go face to face with Jesus. Let me ask you this, how much do you know about God? You're not raised in any faith and ship, but you do have that Catholic boyfriend who may have funny ideas. So do you know what the blessed Trinity is?
00:12:51
Speaker 1: The Father's Son and Holy Spirit?
00:12:53
Speaker 3: Okay, yes, there are three persons in one God. That is the mystery of faith. You okay with that? Bumping in any of this yet I'm following, all right, But I mean, are you bumping into any of going? What do you mean three persons in one God? I thought this was monotheism. This sounds like a back door into fucking having many gods under one name.
00:13:16
Speaker 2: Which you might be right.
00:13:18
Speaker 3: There were many gods and many other religions Greeks, Romans and shit by the time the Christians started coalescing around fucking Jesus. Uh, you know, they started, they started alterning things, they started, you.
00:13:33
Speaker 2: Know, so there they.
00:13:38
Speaker 3: They took what was the more common notion, like there's a god for this and a god for this is a God of speed, the God of son, the God of fucking whatever, and we're just gonna put it under one umbrella. But he's got three faces. So there's you know, as you previously mentioned, God, the Father, God, the Son, God, the Holy Spirit.
00:14:01
Speaker 1: Oh, they're all God, three.
00:14:04
Speaker 3: Three persons in one God. I asked you if you bumped into any of this, and you're like.
00:14:10
Speaker 1: No, because I'm like, I get it over.
00:14:12
Speaker 3: No, you're the fucking sleep of the dude who's like, this is what I seriously believe this is.
00:14:18
Speaker 1: That's not what he believes.
00:14:20
Speaker 3: Is he Catholic because he believes that.
00:14:22
Speaker 1: I you know, I'm not into his religion right.
00:14:25
Speaker 3: Now, but that's real private, I understand, but that's root Like, if you're Catholic, that's that's your bedrock.
00:14:34
Speaker 1: I don't think he is.
00:14:37
Speaker 2: As Catholic as it that.
00:14:38
Speaker 1: Yes, I don't know if he would put that label on himself. Per se, he's more spiritual.
00:14:46
Speaker 3: He praised them once again.
00:14:48
Speaker 1: I'm not going to go into my man's business.
00:14:50
Speaker 3: All right. That a thing with your generation.
00:14:53
Speaker 1: I don't think he would want me to talk about it fair.
00:15:00
Speaker 3: Anyway.
00:15:01
Speaker 1: Were you saying there.
00:15:02
Speaker 3: Were things got awkwards?
00:15:04
Speaker 1: Were you saying that three what three three guys and what.
00:15:12
Speaker 3: My man, don't stand on religious business. Now shut up? Now what were you saying? It's three persons one God? Is that? Is that the pieces here? Yes, three persons in one God, God the Father in or and in one God. Three persons in one game. It's like it's a floor cleaner and a deserved topic.
00:15:33
Speaker 1: Oh okay, So God the Father.
00:15:38
Speaker 3: Boy, you're fucking catching him. Like ten seconds later, I'm on fire here.
00:15:43
Speaker 1: You're still making about like the balls you bring up, my man, the conversation going on in my head. He even bring that up.
00:15:52
Speaker 3: Yes, God the Father got the Son, God, the Holy Spirit. So you're okay with that?
00:15:56
Speaker 1: All right? Yeah, all right, moving up?
00:15:59
Speaker 4: I mean I understand No, well, I'm glad you understand it now because before you were like, yeah, I get it, Like wait, clearly, yes, that's the bedrock of most of all Catholic faith.
00:16:17
Speaker 3: I'm not sure about all Christian faith. Definitely Catholic faith.
00:16:21
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
00:16:24
Speaker 3: Shall I do the Creed for you, the the not the apostles creed, but the you know, maybe it's the nice scene Creed. It was eventually called this is the you know, a list of ship that fucking Catholics believe it's literally our credo our I was raised Catholic, and you can take the boy out of you, take the boy out of Catholicism, but you will never take the Catholicism out of the boy. They brand a motherfucker early, they get in deep my genetics for better or for worse. But you know one can do our you like it made me a moral person, although I could argue back the comic books did that more than those stories. But anyway, taking you back to my Catholic school days, when I was an author boy on stage in front of everybody in my town, wearing a funny outfit.
00:17:19
Speaker 1: What other day.
00:17:21
Speaker 3: Man fucking chuck? Chuck, Chuck David.
00:17:28
Speaker 1: Is his name Chuck? It's like, who the fuck's chuck?
00:17:36
Speaker 3: So? Uh, how did it go? We believe in one God, the Father, Almighty, Creator of ever and Earth, of all that has seen and unseen?
00:17:45
Speaker 2: All right?
00:17:46
Speaker 3: With that?
00:17:47
Speaker 2: Shall we break it down line by line?
00:17:49
Speaker 3: Yeah?
00:17:49
Speaker 1: Break it down for me.
00:17:50
Speaker 3: We believe in one God, the Father, Almighty, Creator of heaven and Earth, of all that is seen and unseen. Like these are words I recited my whole young life and really never thought about until I became an adult.
00:18:04
Speaker 1: This one guy created everything. I mean that you can see and you can't see all.
00:18:10
Speaker 3: Of existence and beyond, which again is pretty standard for like any religions, like you gotta believe this motherfucker did at all.
00:18:20
Speaker 2: Volle se.
00:18:21
Speaker 3: We believe in one Lord, Jesus Christ, the only son of God. He was born of a virgin, crucified under Punchius, Pilot, suffered, died, and was buried. On the third day, he rose again in fulfillment of the scriptures. He ascended into heaven and is seated at the right hand of the Father. He will come again in glory to judge the living and the dead, and his kingdom will have no end. Bro. They taught me that when I was four, and we said, and just to fucking spooky out a little bit.
00:19:06
Speaker 2: I don't know if you've ever been in a Catholic.
00:19:08
Speaker 3: Church when they do the creed, but imagine a bunch of people. It's not like we believe in one guy. You know, there's no celebration. Catholic's more in their faith. So it sounds like this, we believe in one God, Father, Almighty Mayor of em and earth fall, those seeing and unseen.
00:19:27
Speaker 1: It's just did you say they more in their faith?
00:19:29
Speaker 2: Yeah, that line I wrote in Dogma.
00:19:32
Speaker 1: I was just about to say, what a good profound Yeah, how.
00:19:35
Speaker 3: Profound old Kevin Smith in this moment.
00:19:39
Speaker 1: Yeah, I really thought that was profound. It was it is.
00:19:42
Speaker 2: Wrote it before you were born.
00:19:43
Speaker 1: Wow.
00:19:46
Speaker 3: Serendipity says it in the Dogma, which is coming soon kids. More on that later. I saw artwork for new Dogma posters. Wow, which is a bit of.
00:19:55
Speaker 2: A mind fuck.
00:19:56
Speaker 3: Like Jordan was, Like, I got emotional because she'd been working hard on getting this movie fucking back and out and stuff like that. But for me, the guy who lived for the first campaign, Like, I don't think Jordan was born when dog came out.
00:20:07
Speaker 2: No, she saw the movie, so.
00:20:08
Speaker 1: She must have been born. She was born.
00:20:11
Speaker 3: She's like thirty five or something like that.
00:20:13
Speaker 1: She was born, she was I have to be so honest.
00:20:17
Speaker 2: What you ain't seen it?
00:20:18
Speaker 1: I haven't seen it.
00:20:19
Speaker 3: Fantastic movie, honestly.
00:20:21
Speaker 1: It's like hard to access.
00:20:22
Speaker 2: One of the best.
00:20:23
Speaker 3: Not anymore this year, Dogma.
00:20:26
Speaker 1: This year I'll see a show.
00:20:29
Speaker 2: I love that.
00:20:30
Speaker 3: I saw a bunch of poster concepts, which was mind bending because I've been through this process once before. Twenty six years ago, and it was like, this is what the posters could look like back then. Though it was more like this is what the poster is going to look like. And I was like that's fine. I had no beef because they looked really fucking cool and shit. But like seeing you know, a current marketers take on the movie was fascinating. Naturally, there's an angle of like it's back, but with all those famous people, it's just like got to get them on the poster. One of the images was like a last supper affair, like, which looks like the last supper of the poster would be turned on its side. Yeah, and there there are two others that I absolutely love.
00:21:20
Speaker 1: You really got me with that quote.
00:21:23
Speaker 3: I'm telling you go watch talk about That's why thank you my kid. Uh, that's that's why people like of a certain age still pay attention to me now because they're like, he said smart things.
00:21:35
Speaker 2: When he was young.
00:21:36
Speaker 3: He got progressively dumber, but like then he said wise things and whatnot.
00:21:42
Speaker 1: Kind of stupid now, but.
00:21:45
Speaker 3: Spends a lot of time with that kid of.
00:21:47
Speaker 1: His, spends a lot of money on bowling.
00:21:51
Speaker 3: Last I heard sucker this motherfucker out of his money, just a by putting a bow angle anything online.
00:21:57
Speaker 2: I'm serious. If you got bowing.
00:22:00
Speaker 1: This man's good part, you're gonna you're.
00:22:01
Speaker 3: Gonna watch a fierce biding war. Put it up at any price. I mean what you know what I enjoy is like you could make an offer. So the eBay in the beginning was just all about.
00:22:12
Speaker 2: Bidding wars and ship.
00:22:12
Speaker 3: Now people put ship up there and there's like a make an offer button, so they have an asking price and then you could like offer. Oh my god, I never paid a listed price.
00:22:25
Speaker 1: Really.
00:22:26
Speaker 3: I I came from the world of retail, so I would never pay even the listed price. And mind you, some of these items are dream items where it's just like there's only one of this left in existence. But still as well try to get a few bucks off, which is really embarrassing once they figure out who because then they're like, you haggled for three dollars because again, but I had to come all the way to see me valance this up time? Like, bro, how poorly are them Jay and Samma Bob Movies doing?
00:22:56
Speaker 2: I'm like, not great, but thank you for this.
00:23:00
Speaker 3: You ask why would you like to invest in one?
00:23:05
Speaker 1: If someone says no, to your price. Will you buy it for the full price? Like if if you're defeated it's funny, well you give it.
00:23:16
Speaker 2: I did that once.
00:23:18
Speaker 3: And the seller never sent the piece, to the point where I had to get an adult involved, Carol to reach out Toby because eBay was like work it out in the cellar, like the seller's not responding, and I paid like eight hundred dollars.
00:23:36
Speaker 1: This Oh my god, it was.
00:23:37
Speaker 3: Like six fifty but with like shipping, well was it? It was a Rocky and Bullwinkle piece. Oh god, that yeah, I mean I need I say it's them on a serious cell that came from the jay from the Deadly Dude Rite and Pourium back in the day. But this dude never got back to me. But like I would make offers and they would just be declined. So I realized he mus sad at auto set. But then after I fucking broke down and bought the thing, like it for a month never came. I kept hitting the person up, being like hey man, like we're no response. So I finally got Carol above She's like, oh, I'm on it, and you know, she was like what kind of jerk is this?
00:24:22
Speaker 2: And I was like could be that he fucking died, you know what I'm.
00:24:25
Speaker 3: Saying, Like between the time I bought it and the time it fucking you know, he just died. Possibility or I got scammed either way, So PayPal was very helpful though, like you know, if you don't get it and fucking the next week, we'll reimburse you. So it was like, yeah, I've not had any bad experiences.
00:24:44
Speaker 1: Man, did it ever come?
00:24:46
Speaker 2: Never?
00:24:47
Speaker 1: I never came.
00:24:47
Speaker 3: No, And I periodically click on that listing it's still live.
00:24:52
Speaker 1: I wonder, I wonder what that is.
00:24:53
Speaker 2: I have no idea that I don't care.
00:24:56
Speaker 3: I was just happy to get my money back because that was the only one where I was like, man, I got scammed and ship.
00:25:02
Speaker 1: Well out of all the things though, and you've ordered a lot. Yeah, one scam that ain't too bad, right.
00:25:11
Speaker 3: Yeah, fucking needle And as I'm fucking playing the odds and I'm doing good. I've gotten more joy than sadness from my only one sad eBay thing. But that's been corrected, so I'm sad no more.
00:25:24
Speaker 1: I'm happy for you.
00:25:25
Speaker 3: I carry it still like herpes, but but I don't dwell on it every day. Every day the pain gets a little less, just a little bit. I got fucked over.
00:25:36
Speaker 1: Day by day, it'll get better.
00:25:39
Speaker 3: Wait, why was I talking about dog in the first place?
00:25:43
Speaker 1: Oh, because you said that dope blind.
00:25:47
Speaker 3: Back to Catholics, all right, so let's keep talking about we believe in one. I said that, we believe in you are one and Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church. M hm. We acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins. You've been baptized, You're good. So we looked, we look for the to the resurrection of the dead and the life of the world to come.
00:26:17
Speaker 2: Amen.
00:26:17
Speaker 1: Wait, question fire away, bitch.
00:26:21
Speaker 3: I am here father day, I am through me tonight A ask me a question.
00:26:34
Speaker 1: Father Dave is with us tonight, everybody.
00:26:36
Speaker 3: Channeling Father Dave.
00:26:39
Speaker 1: You said, what was the part about baptism to forgive.
00:26:46
Speaker 3: We believe in one, Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church. We acknowledge one baptism for the forgiveness of sins.
00:26:56
Speaker 1: Okay, so that for the forgiveness of sins. But babies are baptized.
00:27:03
Speaker 3: Ah, what the baby? God? Because I was raised in this ship. Man, this is like you ask ask me like about fucking marvel ship and I'm like, oh my God, I can fucking Bible splain all day long.
00:27:21
Speaker 1: So what the baby to do?
00:27:25
Speaker 3: Man was created in God's image. First, God created the heaven in the beginning, there was nothing.
00:27:31
Speaker 1: I already regret it.
00:27:32
Speaker 3: Let I know, Let there be Like God makes the why, it makes the universe and takes six days to do so, and then rests on the seventh day, which is why nobody works on Sundays and stuff. So, uh, he makes the angels, and then lastly he makes human beings people.
00:27:55
Speaker 2: In his image.
00:27:56
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
00:27:58
Speaker 3: Then he puts into the garden of Eden with all the animals and they're living the way like that TikTok video was like this is how life should be with the pelican hanging out with the on the back of the boat and ship, and You're like, what the fuck exactly like that how it was meant to be. And uh, you know then because a fucking eve who got into a conversation with a fucking snake, and that snake of course Satan m hm hiding in snake for him, and God put them in the garden of Eden and said you can do anything you want, just don't eat of the Tree of Knowledge, which in and of itself is kind of like stay ignorant. You can enjoy all of this as long as you're done. There's a matrix, you know, metaphor in there somewhere. Sure if you talk to wa Showski's they would be like, we definitely and we made the matrics and we can spell it. Yeah. So Eve takes the apple, takes a bite, convinces Adam to take a bite like Adam o. Adam was created first, and then Eve is created from Adam. A rib is taken from Adam, and then a woman is built from that. It's all according to the Bible. It's all ship that your man believes.
00:29:35
Speaker 2: I was raised and that's not.
00:29:41
Speaker 3: So.
00:29:41
Speaker 2: Adam and Eve la la la. Then you know, don't eat that.
00:29:46
Speaker 3: Tree, and they're like all right. And then the snake's like, come eat the tree and she's like all right. And then the apple she after evade it. First she convinced.
00:29:59
Speaker 1: Adam to eat because snake made it.
00:30:01
Speaker 3: And that's why women men eight women. It goes right back to the Bible, and all these stories are wondering my whole life. We that's there's your there's your fucking patriarchy right there, motherfuckers who were like, it's and a woman came from my rib. There are people that believe that story that's a parable. Catholic Church will be the first to acknowledge, like, that's not a real story. That's a parable, like just the way Jesus told stories about like you know, there was a fisherman. It's meant to be a story. It's not literal. But then there are people who are like, no, we all came from Adam and e OK, you gotta have hot.
00:30:46
Speaker 1: So I'm sure this episode offends many people. I'm sorry.
00:30:54
Speaker 3: I mean, look, even as somebody who believed back in the day some of.
00:30:57
Speaker 1: The ship was like, come on, but that's pretty fucking.
00:31:01
Speaker 3: So because I got to finish the original same thing. Because they ate of the Forbidden Tree, the Tree of Knowledge, God is like, you sons up bitches, I gave you everything.
00:31:16
Speaker 2: He goes total parental meltdown.
00:31:19
Speaker 1: Is he talking about specifically Autam and Eve or humans in general?
00:31:23
Speaker 3: There are only two at this point, and so because they did the one fucking thing, He's like, I, I, you had one job. He cast them out of the paradise, and how this all outed I forgot. This is a fun part of the story. When she ate of the Tree of Knowledge, what happened was like, oh my god, I'm naked. And then when adamated, he was like, oh my god, I'm naked too. We gotta put on clothes, we gotta hide our nakedness. And that's when the Lord was like, a right, why are you guys hiding? And they're like, we're naked and a shame and they're like naked. Who told you that we hated the Tree of Knowledge? And it was like, I told you that's why. The snake is like, you know, the most loathsome of all the creatures. We the humanity fell because of the snake. And there was a promised maid or some fucking prediction or whatever where it's just like, you know, the fucking mother of the world will crush the snake's head. There's a big statue of Mary. She's standing on a snake's head like my growing up, my whole life, our lady Perpetuel. There she is standing on a fucking snake because that's her job.
00:32:32
Speaker 1: Right, Come on, though, let's not blame snakes.
00:32:36
Speaker 3: It just goes to show you, man that, like, if you ain't fluffy. Come on, you're fucked. You're fluffy or you're fucked in this world.
00:32:47
Speaker 1: Choices yours.
00:32:48
Speaker 3: So because we that that was the sin, that was the original sin, God casts Adam and Eve out of Paradise the garden and even get out to.
00:33:02
Speaker 2: Presumably hear earth.
00:33:05
Speaker 3: Our version of fucking Earth because there's a multi verse in the Bible.
00:33:09
Speaker 1: Oh fun.
00:33:13
Speaker 3: So then they, you know, start having kids. Cana and Abel are their children, do you know? Cana and Abel are a story for another time.
00:33:20
Speaker 2: First murder.
00:33:24
Speaker 3: Caine kills Abel or vice versa, and then comes home and lies to Adam and Eva.
00:33:28
Speaker 2: Bad like where's your brother? He's like I don't know, and.
00:33:31
Speaker 3: Then out he's like I killed my brother. Like psychotic bullshit. That's that is. That's a story that could be ripped from today's headlines.
00:33:40
Speaker 1: Geez.
00:33:40
Speaker 3: Yeah, And there it is right in the fucking old Testament of the Bible. So because of that original sin, m every baby that is born is born with the film the filth if you will, of sin, the tang of sin because of Adam and E and to cleanse the child of that. For example, if that baby dies pre baptism, that baby's not going to Heaven Jesus. Them's the rules. You want to be part of the club, you gotta follow the rules. The baptism, it's brutal, removes the original sin and makes the baby eligible the Kingdom of blessed water, holy water, magic water. Once the baby is baptized, which you were, you're doesn't guarantee entry in heaven, but it means you're eligible.
00:34:40
Speaker 1: I think I've passed that point.
00:34:43
Speaker 2: Yes, Now for the rest of your life.
00:34:44
Speaker 3: You know, there's certain things that like we didn't you didn't get I don't think you got any sacraments after that.
00:34:49
Speaker 2: Nothing.
00:34:49
Speaker 3: You didn't do confession, you didn't do communion and do confirmation, and the rest are like marriage, you haven't done that yet. But then there's like holy orders, if you become a priest, and then last rites.
00:35:00
Speaker 2: That's the no thing, that's the last thing.
00:35:02
Speaker 3: Every any Catholic wants to hear his last rights. You've been around for that experience with that. It's a sacrament. And if you're a hardcore Catholic, like there's only one time, well, I mean there are cases where people got their last rights, but then they wound up living and shit like that. I wonder if you're allowed to get like a second dose later on if you're die. Like the night I almost died from the heart attack, I could have gotten last right.
00:35:26
Speaker 1: What I thought you were going to say you.
00:35:27
Speaker 3: Did, But well I could have. But if I did years from now, got willing, when I'm eventually dying again, do I help? Can I get it again like you had? You had your last right? In fifty years?
00:35:42
Speaker 2: Yeah? God willing?
00:35:43
Speaker 3: That would mean how old is that? You'll be one hundred and five?
00:35:49
Speaker 2: I'd be ninety seven, But you know, I'll take it to that point.
00:35:51
Speaker 1: At what were you? I thought you were fifty five.
00:35:55
Speaker 2: I guess you're right. I was thinking from the heart attack for some re.
00:35:58
Speaker 1: Yeah, fifty five plus fifty then I'll definitely be.
00:36:05
Speaker 3: Dad.
00:36:08
Speaker 2: So glad, Like, what's the difference?
00:36:12
Speaker 1: That's the difference. How do you put them in a chair?
00:36:21
Speaker 3: Face him against the wall. I'll be back on Thursday.
00:36:29
Speaker 2: In front of a fucking laptop.
00:36:32
Speaker 3: Just scroll through bowl Winkle Ship for just.
00:36:34
Speaker 1: Please play Clerks, just please.
00:36:37
Speaker 2: I don't know if that would do it for me.
00:36:39
Speaker 1: Please play what's the show that you're obsessed with right now?
00:36:45
Speaker 3: The food, the food that built American? His name is Milton Hershey, but he will create a chocolate empire that likes the world has never seen.
00:36:55
Speaker 1: Just put on the cookie episode, please.
00:36:57
Speaker 3: With episode that really captured my This motherfucker was so good at chocolate. It built the whole city Hershey, Pennsylvania. It wasn't like he's like, let's go there and name our chocolate after the town they be built. He got so fucking rich off of chocolate, thanks largely to the World War, because he could put it into ration kits and every soldier at war for a respite. I was like, ah mmmm, it's good. So when they went home from war, like that little piece of joy in the battlefield where like fucking bullets and bombs are going off around you, but like you like you remember being in a foxho and be like shared like this Hershey bar of this fucking dude, and like we almost got killed but we lived. It was a minute. I tasted it like crazy. You come home, you sugar chocolate joy. It's like, you know, especially like they talked about how after during Prohibition, when he couldn't get to liquor, that's when candy was on the rise. Because since you couldn't get legally drunk, people were like, I need something that makes me feel good. Sugar makes people feel good.
00:38:02
Speaker 1: I feel that amazing.
00:38:05
Speaker 3: So yeah, man, like, uh, the the the original sin has to get baptized off.
00:38:16
Speaker 1: So everybody just has to pay for this thing that someone else did.
00:38:22
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's exactly will put scinctly put. But I mean, you don't even have to make it like someone else, Like you can be direct Adam and eve Na name it and claim it the names all the bro I'm just gonna lay it out there for you, the way that somebody who believes every word of the Bible believes it, they ruined it for all of us.
00:38:44
Speaker 2: We would be what.
00:38:47
Speaker 3: We would be in Eden, the garden of fucking Eden. You of all people, love animals. Imagine in a world where you can hug a bear or a moose is your fucking friend.
00:38:58
Speaker 1: But this is a fairy tale, is it not? What?
00:39:02
Speaker 3: What? Ladies and gentlemen, I apologize for the blasphemy of my to summon fairy tale to others, straight up faith.
00:39:13
Speaker 1: I'm sorry to anyone.
00:39:15
Speaker 3: To a large voting Poe country, straight up faith.
00:39:19
Speaker 1: My dad got to choose what we talk about this weekend. He chose Catholicism, so.
00:39:26
Speaker 3: Disney it just came up anyway, that's what Catholics believe.
00:39:34
Speaker 1: That's the purse snakes. That's that's my that's my biggest takeaway, poor snakes.
00:39:40
Speaker 3: After all that, your biggest takeaways like fucking snakes got the wrong to do.
00:39:44
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm going to have other takeaways to.
00:39:48
Speaker 3: Say about you. What do you hold if it could?
00:39:53
Speaker 1: Yeah, but we eat animals whole.
00:39:56
Speaker 2: What's this? We ship me and you me neither, So.
00:39:59
Speaker 1: My conscience, they're fucking humans.
00:40:01
Speaker 3: When people like you voted for this, I didn't vote for any of this, is say, my fucking doing.
00:40:07
Speaker 2: I tried to go the other way.
00:40:09
Speaker 1: I just feel like, you know, we're all here, we're all meant to co exist. We're not meant to We're on this do you want? Yeah, we're all in this together at the end of the day.
00:40:18
Speaker 3: So people fail to realize.
00:40:20
Speaker 1: Animals weren't put on this earth for us. They were put on.
00:40:24
Speaker 2: They're meant to be together.
00:40:28
Speaker 1: She shut the fuck up?
00:40:34
Speaker 3: The uh? I have Today's Thursday when the show launches what Happened this week the Oscars? I didn't watch that, so I have nothing to say. Really, but I mean yeah, I don't know anything. I mean I've heard some ship, but and this is not any sort of likes but like I know, I work in that business kind of, but like.
00:41:05
Speaker 2: It's just so like you know.
00:41:08
Speaker 3: It's it's this is anathema to me as all the other ship that kind of comes along with this business, that the glitz and the glamour and stuff like that. That stuff was pretty cool.
00:41:24
Speaker 1: I think it's pretty cool. I'm super happy for Mikey your friend were happy for I'm happy for everybody.
00:41:31
Speaker 3: But and yeah, that's right. You know somebody who want to fucking think the guy who won for Sean Baker.
00:41:39
Speaker 1: From New Jersey, let's go Jersey.
00:41:42
Speaker 3: I know, right, he just made it much harder to be a fucking New Jersey filmmaker. Did you know that ship?
00:41:49
Speaker 2: I'm like, no, I didn't.
00:41:50
Speaker 3: As a matter of fact, I didn't know. I completely yo, goos it right. Fuck the uh it's tough to be creative sometimes you're telling me.
00:42:05
Speaker 2: Only in your head though. That's the thing.
00:42:07
Speaker 3: It's like, it's never tough to be creative, but we hold ourselves to like like, oh man, fucking what am I doing? Like where am I in my career? Ship when oscars coming around, or I used to. I just gave up on that ship because I'm like I realized, you know, quite some time ago that it's like I am. I'm not saying this is better, but I am clearly on my own path, like I ain't seen a person for years. There's no competition when you are lost in the wilderness path. Oh no, I'm not like gotta stay ahead of them. I am ahead by forty thousand country miles because the ain't nobody traveling down this path. And that's how you win. Like you know, I'm not. I ain't built for competitions. I'm just built for like you know, this is Muslvania. I claim this state to it.
00:43:01
Speaker 1: For someone's coming up the rear like a whole country's length away.
00:43:08
Speaker 3: Nobody coming up this rear. Nobody interested man, not father, Dave, nobody the.
00:43:20
Speaker 1: Can I make a few announcements?
00:43:22
Speaker 3: Yeah?
00:43:22
Speaker 2: Can I make one before you make yours.
00:43:24
Speaker 3: We'll finish up with all yours today being Thursday tomorrow, they're announcing a comic book project on Friday. Yes, so I can't say it here, although you know what by the time, No, yeah, but it's a cool thing.
00:43:41
Speaker 1: But if it's what I'm thinking I will, so I.
00:43:45
Speaker 2: Will enter the news cycle on Friday.
00:43:47
Speaker 3: Whoa not like fucking like you know, like look at you? Yeah, like you know how fucking every week Severance gets a lot of coverage and ship.
00:44:00
Speaker 2: Not like that.
00:44:01
Speaker 3: But it will definitely like be picked up a few places like oh.
00:44:07
Speaker 1: Well, he's in Mosylvania.
00:44:13
Speaker 3: In play stated foras in play anyway, that's my semi what what?
00:44:21
Speaker 1: Uh?
00:44:22
Speaker 2: What are yours?
00:44:23
Speaker 3: Let's hear him.
00:44:24
Speaker 1: I got two announcements. Two words.
00:44:29
Speaker 2: Pregnant.
00:44:31
Speaker 1: That's two words. That's two words. And yep, I'm telling you here here on beardless.
00:44:40
Speaker 3: I can't believe you announced it like that.
00:44:44
Speaker 1: No two words. Ticklet shirts. They are restocked and they are now available, uh in small through three x L.
00:44:55
Speaker 3: Just stop buying small. You're going to die with them small.
00:45:01
Speaker 1: We we have them in black and white. Oh I see, and they are fully restocked now. So you want to.
00:45:08
Speaker 3: Wear your dick lit pridle over your shirt? Oh yeah, join the fun now before they're in fucking uh hot topics everywhere.
00:45:19
Speaker 1: And it's everyone's got one.
00:45:23
Speaker 3: This is some time to get it.
00:45:24
Speaker 2: Man.
00:45:24
Speaker 3: You're gonna want one of the original run years and now, because as Harley can tell tell you as somebody who buys T shirts bucking ten years from now, this shirt three four shirt run is very small. I'm that you could make money off the shirt. That's how that's this this shirt that you invest in.
00:45:45
Speaker 1: You know what, I really got to make an option? What press to sign them?
00:45:52
Speaker 3: So will we profit?
00:45:55
Speaker 1: I see, we'll keep the money?
00:45:59
Speaker 3: Yeah? What do you charge the shirts?
00:46:01
Speaker 2: Now?
00:46:02
Speaker 1: I did have to raise the price by five dollars because the second run ship that was way more expensive. Is that why?
00:46:15
Speaker 3: No, I'm not going to lay that at the Okay, let's an adminustration. But like no, things just cost a lot of money these days, and it's never going to change. It just where about to enter a recession. It sounds like I are we, which is bad for like me and my business, and it's.
00:46:32
Speaker 1: Bad for a while for pretty much everybody.
00:46:35
Speaker 2: But entertainment industry.
00:46:36
Speaker 3: Like one of the first things people like, I ain't got enough money for eggs, fucking going to see you fucking Jane and Silly Bob show. It's the same ship for thirty here. That's when people wake up and realize that they're not getting their money.
00:46:48
Speaker 1: I don't care about mussulmania.
00:46:51
Speaker 3: Formania grow up like a child. Fifty four years of the ship.
00:46:58
Speaker 2: Yes, there is a.
00:47:00
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's anyways, I had to raise the price by five dollars because it became more expensive to make them. I got a little discount the first time I made them. You didn't get a discount. The second time you get a discount because it was my first time.
00:47:14
Speaker 2: Oh and so they're like second time.
00:47:16
Speaker 1: Yeah, the second time it was like two hundy more expensive, and I was like, what the fuck?
00:47:20
Speaker 3: Well, so the shirt goes up a little bit.
00:47:22
Speaker 1: But shirt it is now forty dollars plus shipping, all.
00:47:25
Speaker 3: Right, so if we tag it, then what do you charge? Let's hear this too? Signature? No, don't ask me, I'm asking you. Let's say what kind of business savvy you got? I would say, Gwyneth Paltrow, here's your goop moment.
00:47:37
Speaker 1: I would say, both of our signatures.
00:47:39
Speaker 2: Yeah on a forty dollars shirt?
00:47:41
Speaker 1: Seventy five? Is that too steep?
00:47:44
Speaker 3: What the fuck are you? Taylor Swift? What the fuck? Who the fuck do you?
00:47:49
Speaker 1: I would yours if it was mine, I'd be like forty five.
00:47:55
Speaker 3: You could get away with sixty all right, sixty? Is that include shipping shipping on top?
00:48:01
Speaker 1: Yeah, the shipping is a whole separate thing. I'm trying to figure it out.
00:48:04
Speaker 3: How much is shipping?
00:48:07
Speaker 1: You know what. I'm having a hard time with the ship I keep ending up paying for people shipping.
00:48:13
Speaker 3: Why.
00:48:14
Speaker 1: I don't know, because when they check out, it like tells them a certain price. But then when I actually go.
00:48:20
Speaker 3: To the price, I know, then you don't have to worry. Yeah, I know. In which case, what what is your general shipping and handling five or more?
00:48:30
Speaker 1: I don't have shipping and handling at the moment.
00:48:32
Speaker 2: But when you ship the shirts?
00:48:34
Speaker 1: How much the last one I shipped out today? It was like ten fucking bucks, So you're to go.
00:48:38
Speaker 3: To a charge you're under charging for shipping and handling unfortunately.
00:48:41
Speaker 1: And the person paid like four dollars for shipping in six dollars.
00:48:46
Speaker 3: On my Yeah, so you need to then just build that all into the price. So if you were selling a signed shirt and you didn't want to like fucking lose in the shipping handling, get away with seventy and was shipping and handly included.
00:49:01
Speaker 1: There is one person out there who has a signed shirt by me because he tagged he ordered a shirt in black. However, my inventory was off because someone has one, because somebody took it out of the inventory. So I offered him since there were none of that color available anymore, I have offered to give him the white shirt instead, but to sign it.
00:49:33
Speaker 3: With a signature.
00:49:33
Speaker 1: So there is one signed shirt out there.
00:49:36
Speaker 3: That's good salesman ship right there.
00:49:38
Speaker 1: Thank you.
00:49:39
Speaker 3: I appreciate that.
00:49:40
Speaker 1: I tried. Wanted to make it good for him.
00:49:42
Speaker 3: You got it. That's the customers generally always right, unless they're like rude and ship. But like he was very nice, right, very nice fucking And also it's like you're charge an I'm gonna leg for a T shirt. No, that's cheap compared to like most T shirt prices. I say.
00:49:57
Speaker 1: I just looked at a T shirt that was like a tank top from a brand that I like, Yeah, and all it says is a motherfucker pretty strong. It was like, three hundred twenty five.
00:50:09
Speaker 3: Bucks is a brand new T shirt? Yes, what do you want to name that brand? And then shame that brand?
00:50:16
Speaker 1: I don't want to put them on blast.
00:50:19
Speaker 3: But I was like, wait, what, Yeah, you won't get charged for three hundred dollars at Chaine solambop dot com or.
00:50:30
Speaker 1: Beardless dot com dot whatever it's called.
00:50:34
Speaker 3: Is that where for shirt sales? Beardless stickles me dot.
00:50:38
Speaker 1: Com is not actually worse.
00:50:40
Speaker 3: In them, but because that's where like we just check have the episodes. I think there may be clips there.
00:50:47
Speaker 1: Oh really yeah, well then maybe go there in this link?
00:50:51
Speaker 2: Will they'll put it in there for you? I believe.
00:50:54
Speaker 3: Well, it's like first you need the Janet Jackson headphones something on the it's website.
00:51:00
Speaker 1: What the fuck I send people to to what.
00:51:06
Speaker 3: To wait for it?
00:51:11
Speaker 1: Which just one wars beardless stickless me dot my. If you watch spify dot com.
00:51:19
Speaker 2: What is it beardless stickless me.
00:51:22
Speaker 1: Beardless stickless me dot my, shopify dot com and there's an https colon slash slash.
00:51:29
Speaker 3: Before hopefully puts it up the link up at beardless sticklessme dot com.
00:51:36
Speaker 2: Then you can just send them right there.
00:51:37
Speaker 1: Yes, and then you know that would be easier. I will also put the link in my bio.
00:51:43
Speaker 3: Uh smart, Yes, and if you put it up in your stories, just make sure you link me in it, and I'll put it in my stories.
00:51:50
Speaker 1: Speaking of links and bios, I got two links right now, to Apple Music and to Spotify for my band's new.
00:51:59
Speaker 3: Song, Ladies and Gentlemen, a Taste of Cinnamon, Spicy and Sweet. The name of their first album, Oh my god, what is the name of the first song?
00:52:14
Speaker 1: Our son?
00:52:15
Speaker 3: That was Lucky, that was Crazyucky.
00:52:19
Speaker 1: Please, I'm trying to make an announcement.
00:52:21
Speaker 3: Lucky.
00:52:24
Speaker 1: Our first single is called Star.
00:52:26
Speaker 2: It's available right now on Spotify and Apple.
00:52:28
Speaker 3: Music and anywhere you get your music, searchable under Cinnamon.
00:52:31
Speaker 1: If you look up. Since we are a new band, we do not come up right away. We will one day. But if you look up Cinnamon Star. Our cover is a dog.
00:52:45
Speaker 3: It is a dog's head.
00:52:47
Speaker 1: It is a dog's head.
00:52:48
Speaker 3: Barking doghead, barking doghead.
00:52:49
Speaker 1: There's a star. There's a collar, but the collar is words. You'll find it. But I also saw a band pics There are yes, or you can just go to my Instagram and go to the link of my bio.
00:53:01
Speaker 3: Also will We'll put links to it on the beardless stickless dot com site.
00:53:07
Speaker 2: All right, so wait, you dropped.
00:53:09
Speaker 3: In the parlance of the industry, you dropped your music.
00:53:13
Speaker 1: We did.
00:53:14
Speaker 3: We dropped our first What has the reaction been so far?
00:53:16
Speaker 1: It's I mean knock on wood. So far, so good, So far so good.
00:53:23
Speaker 3: Is there anybody going like, hey man, what that song is? What that song means to me? Like like writing letters yet like.
00:53:32
Speaker 1: Long I haven't gotten a long form letters. We'll see what the future.
00:53:39
Speaker 3: I love the song. It's very it's very dreamy. Thank you being Mary, and until it's not.
00:53:47
Speaker 2: Then it's agro.
00:53:49
Speaker 1: It gets a little agro.
00:53:50
Speaker 3: Then I'm like, stop yelling it.
00:53:53
Speaker 1: Expect dare I say on music video in our future?
00:53:59
Speaker 3: When did you shoot it?
00:54:01
Speaker 1: We have been shooting it over the course of a couple of weeks. We are now done shooting. It is being edited by my lovely friend Sah Sherwood.
00:54:12
Speaker 3: It's so weird because I don't remember directing it, but I'm sure I did.
00:54:16
Speaker 1: It's so weird. You know many other directions you must have forgot. I must slipped your mind.
00:54:22
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess I was busy when you.
00:54:24
Speaker 2: Wanted to shoot.
00:54:25
Speaker 1: Yeah, you were kind of like out of town or buying Bullwinkle rulers.
00:54:30
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was like, I can't fucking make your video. I'm trying to win this Bullwinkle ruler. It's eighteen dollars.
00:54:38
Speaker 1: But I'm trying to get it for not that's too What would you do for if it was eighteen what would you do?
00:54:46
Speaker 3: Exactly what I did. I offered three dollars less. Oh so it's like, you know, because there's a price in their shipping. Oh as you're well aware.
00:54:54
Speaker 1: Oh I know.
00:54:56
Speaker 3: So I'm always trying to offset the shipping cost. Smart you know what I'm saying something I don't mind paying the price. But then it's like shipping. Look, sometimes you buy a thing. That's why that one bowling piece that never came had like two hundred dollars shipping on it. Whis why it is even more of an insult. I never came, right, that would kind of suck. Should have smell the scam. Such a pigeon, pigeon, just an easy knockoff, just.
00:55:23
Speaker 1: A rube, goddamn pigeon.
00:55:25
Speaker 3: Absolutely, I'm just a fucking country mouse in the big city, man, taking my money, bending me over.
00:55:32
Speaker 1: You'll learn one day.
00:55:34
Speaker 3: I don't know, man, I may wind up dead in an alleyway. No, you fucking made the wrong decision, little mouse.
00:55:41
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh no, no, that's go back to being the pigeon.
00:55:47
Speaker 3: It's weird because I'm a fifty four year old little mouse who never really leaves his house, so I'm not gonna wind up in an alleyway.
00:55:54
Speaker 1: We're just a little guy.
00:55:56
Speaker 3: I'd rather be a pigeon, Just a little pigeon. They're like, I took advantage, you fucking stupid pigeon. I'm like, it's cool.
00:56:04
Speaker 1: Oh that was cute.
00:56:11
Speaker 5: I like that.
00:56:14
Speaker 1: Say I love you with that noise.
00:56:17
Speaker 3: Well, I mean I could do cool because it sounds like cool, but make it work. I hope you.
00:56:26
Speaker 1: Know it's really cute.
00:56:29
Speaker 3: Why don't you use me as like, you know, like a looped sample in one of the songs.
00:56:36
Speaker 1: Keep keep going.
00:56:38
Speaker 2: It's like.
00:56:40
Speaker 3: You're stun now cool. Oh shit, I'm telling you, man, I could fucking rock it. I could be like a tambourinist in the band. You know, Tambourinus only does one thing with the tambourine ship. But I'd be a cool and ship. So I'm just on stage, fucking close my eyes, rocking subtly back and forth until I'm needed, And then I'm like.
00:57:09
Speaker 1: Your eyes are closed the whole time.
00:57:13
Speaker 3: You keep going, you slowly remove the mic, so I'm just randomly cooling. Nobody here, they're like your dad's kind of like the backup dancer and n and what was what in the mighty mighty bost Oh my god?
00:57:36
Speaker 1: Not cooing without a microphone facing away from us, suddenly rocking and cooing with that?
00:57:42
Speaker 3: Does he realize that microphones going?
00:57:44
Speaker 1: I slowly turn you around facing the other way.
00:57:51
Speaker 3: Everyone's got their phots.
00:57:53
Speaker 1: Out, relocate to another stage.
00:57:58
Speaker 3: Former filmmaker the laughing stock ridicule of TikTok to.
00:58:06
Speaker 1: How to do it?
00:58:09
Speaker 3: As he quiet coos on stage.
00:58:12
Speaker 1: But he has no mic. He thinks he does, but his eyes have been closed for hours.
00:58:19
Speaker 3: He's been gone less than a month. But perhaps the most haunting image in Los Angeles since David Lynch was plying his trade a short.
00:58:28
Speaker 1: While ago, Oh my God, is.
00:58:30
Speaker 3: The image of former film director Kevin Smith quietly cooing on the stage at what's the place called?
00:58:45
Speaker 1: Oh wait? Is he now crop walking? While he's cooing?
00:58:50
Speaker 3: He somehow he wound up crowdsurfing. He hasn't opened his eyes the whole time. He's really into the cooing. I mean, he treats it like an arm for him, and God bless him for that. But he has a real Is that licking nuke the other band members that picks him up and passed him over to the crowd. He's currently cooing in his crowd serving it has no idea, you go, old timer. He's just like the old guy in Squid Game. He doesn't know he'd spoilers.
00:59:21
Speaker 1: He doesn't know what's going on.
00:59:23
Speaker 3: But then it turns around. It's so humiliating that becomes a fucking rock star where people like, oh, that's fucking bad that he made it through the storm and ship. I used to think that was stupid, but now I think he's pretty fucking.
00:59:35
Speaker 1: Metal, just really into it.
00:59:38
Speaker 3: Have me showing up in metallicatons like minute Mini No, No, No No. Darkness has over my faith. Oh my, oh my, ba.
00:59:51
Speaker 1: You're really good at it. Oh my god.
00:59:54
Speaker 3: If I'm gonna try to compete with the big, with the big artists, I gotta be able to big the cool.
01:00:00
Speaker 1: I think it's so cute when you're going to sleep tonight? Can you do that to mom?
01:00:06
Speaker 3: I just wish I knew a Taylor Swiss song Don't.
01:00:10
Speaker 1: I can't bust It's gotta That was a random pull as well.
01:00:20
Speaker 3: To be fair, Taylor Swift would have actually paid more sense because like a bird coo song like Metallica was going for that, you know, like Metallica wants play with an orchestra or something weird and hip.
01:00:35
Speaker 1: I like it. Anthra among the living.
01:00:46
Speaker 3: Disease, spread egg the disease with them. Some captain chips, bring the will down to its knees. I gotta jump in when I can.
01:01:02
Speaker 1: You just got you gotta find your space.
01:01:06
Speaker 3: Power, cool more power.
01:01:09
Speaker 1: Make it work when you can.
01:01:10
Speaker 3: Totally. I'm like fucking Sabrina Carpenter when she was singing with Paul Simon on the SNL thing. Did you see that? No, I've never heard her sing before or anything, but my respect for her, which didn't exist because I didn't know the fuck she was jumped immensely because they opened the SNL fiftieth anniversary with her singing with Paul Simon. Paul Simon fucking legend, right half of Simon and Garfunkle. Although I didn't note like, as I was sitting there watching, I was like, Paul Simon retired from performing, you know, he's like, I'm done singing, but he came out of retirement to sing the opening at fifth because he's good friends with Lourene Michaels for years, but he hasn't Is he still around? Maybe before I should speak out a turn, I should make sure, but like, let me see, let me see if our Garkfuncle.
01:02:03
Speaker 4: Is still alive, keep cooling, our Garfunkle is is.
01:02:11
Speaker 3: Yeah, he's still around, man, he isn't died. He's eighty three and Paul Simon eighty two. They they split up years ago. They were Simon and Garfunkel right Bridge over troubled Waters, fucking de Missus Robinson. They they split up, and Paul Simon went and had an insanely successful solo career. Our Garfuncle not so much. He was in Cardinal Knowledge with Mike Nichols's director. But you know, Paul Simon continued. And so last time they performed together was they broke up. And then years later they got back together to do the very historic, fabled Concert in the Park. They were in Cuentral Park, did a free concert, and shit fucking all of New York came and stuff, and it ain't been together ever since. Then. Here he is eighty two years old and it's the fiftieth anniversary of SNL and shit like he could have been like me and our Garfunkle are going unless our Garfunkle was like, I can't even fucking sing anymore. But it shows you the commitment to him being like no, that was then it's like David Byrne, Like David Byrne and the Talking Heads made all that music together, and David Byrne won't perform with the talking Heads even when stopped making sense was re releasing the Whole Fight and it made like one hundred million bucks in re release recently a twenty four I think who the fucking world was celebrating and was the big concert promoter you know, fucking fuck.
01:03:50
Speaker 1: I don't know what you're saying.
01:03:52
Speaker 3: The concert people like fucking that sponsor like Live Nation, Yes, thank you, Live Nation.
01:03:58
Speaker 2: So Live Nation.
01:04:01
Speaker 3: Fuck now, I was trying to get that. What was I talking about?
01:04:04
Speaker 1: Simon and garfunk call talking Heads.
01:04:07
Speaker 3: Live Nation reportedly offered the Talking Heads like not like, you know, twenty million bucks, like five hundred million dollars. If not, maybe I'm crazy and this is probably crazy, So it couldn't be this a billion It was a sick, oh my god amount of fucking money to get together and tour well oh they didn't say no. David Byrne said no. David Burn's like, I'm good, I'm creatively fulfilled.
01:04:36
Speaker 2: I ride my background New York.
01:04:37
Speaker 3: I just had that whole fucking Broadway show before COVID and shit, once again there's somebody who's commiting too. Yeah, that's kind of cool.
01:04:47
Speaker 1: To be fulfilled like that, or yeah, don't we all wish we could be that fulfilling?
01:04:51
Speaker 3: No, but like to me, it's a nap.
01:04:53
Speaker 1: But also a billion dollars, Yeah that would help.
01:04:56
Speaker 3: It's to me, it's a nathma to leave behind people that you made art with. You know what I'm saying, So my head don't. But anyway, Sabrina Carpenter gone stage with Paul Simon. Paul Simon, at age eighty two, understandably does not sound like he did when he was a young man singing these songs. And you know, being eighty two, it's hard to do anything, let alone carry a tune while playing a guitar while standing in front like the reason.
01:05:23
Speaker 2: The guy was like, I don't do that anymore.
01:05:25
Speaker 3: So he was up there in there are places where you know he was understandably weak. She came in and fucking backed him up and accompanied him, didn't go over him, didn't like fucking steal the spotlight. Literally just backed him up and found her version of jumping in when she could and really made him sound quite good. The two of them together sounded like beautiful, beautiful, really sweet, and it was like the fact that she's, like, you know, he's old, ast fucking she was. She could have been like fuck this old and like you know, gondiv and Ship didn't. She was there to like support him, even though it was a due extually cool, and she definitely had moments where she could do whatever it is she does and shit. But when they opened, he was he goes I know performed this song.
01:06:20
Speaker 6: Fifty years ago on Saturday Night Live, or forty seven years ago on Sorday and in nineteen seventy five or seventy eight, whatever it is, and Sabrina Carpet goes I wasn't born yet and neither were my parents.
01:06:39
Speaker 3: This is a really fucking fundy lie.
01:06:40
Speaker 1: That's funny.
01:06:41
Speaker 2: And then they went and sang the song.
01:06:42
Speaker 3: It was quite nice for.
01:06:45
Speaker 1: Like the past ten minutes, though all I hear in my head.
01:06:48
Speaker 3: Is disease cool, disease cool, spreading the disease. Cool cool with some help from Captain Trips. Cool you bring the world down to his knees, cool file, more power. I'm gonna call it the Anthrax kids. What is the course of the song? Yeah, that is a course, but what leads up to it? Seeing he's all the puppies out there, She's like, I want to be in gear. I want to be in the club. The puppy was seeing he's calling, Legacy is calling. He's coming, cool, corrupting among the living. I'm the walking I can see all of the world with your mind, with feel the man with the bow.
01:07:53
Speaker 1: Oh my god, it got crazy there, follow me, round of applause. That was That was excellent.
01:08:04
Speaker 2: Even Walkie joined me for that. She was like, hey man, the coopon.
01:08:07
Speaker 3: Worked because she's like, never mind, fucking passion, irration, fucking cool, cool classic songs. Uh, there it is kids, Did.
01:08:17
Speaker 2: You have a cool time?
01:08:19
Speaker 1: I can't.
01:08:20
Speaker 3: Don't spit off my cool col He's getting there. Cool cool.
01:08:40
Speaker 5: We are the champions, my friend, and we.
01:08:53
Speaker 3: Keep on fighting.
01:08:59
Speaker 1: It's oly shit.
01:09:07
Speaker 3: How did your father die?
01:09:08
Speaker 2: He was in the middle of our podcast.
01:09:11
Speaker 3: He had a stroke, His brain snapped and he died. Hit his head on the mic going down.
01:09:20
Speaker 2: And we have it all on.
01:09:21
Speaker 1: That is giant German shepherd adum one.
01:09:25
Speaker 3: He died as he lived, cooing to popular songs.
01:09:29
Speaker 2: From the past.
01:09:30
Speaker 1: So true. Amen, he was mid.
01:09:32
Speaker 2: Search on a bowl and collide. Kids. There's your beardles sticks.
01:09:36
Speaker 1: They just accepted your They just accepted your fifteen dollars offer for the ruler.
01:09:44
Speaker 2: The bittersweet truth he won that auction. He'll never get to measure.
01:09:49
Speaker 3: Anything with that ruler by for you in honor. Yeah, no, fucking they go after my estate like he won the auction, like he's dead.
01:09:58
Speaker 2: Sir, I don't care.
01:09:59
Speaker 3: He fucking he made promise to be eighteen dollars for this fucking ruler. You wanted it, Bury him with it, Bury me with my bow winkle ruler.
01:10:10
Speaker 2: The story of Kevin Smith.
01:10:12
Speaker 1: Your new book be terrible.
01:10:13
Speaker 3: If my whole life was defined by like something I liked in the last ten minutes of it, that would people like I'm sure your mom might be like, you don't want to put me in the title fucking bowl winklog. It was only like for a little minute, there there is good.
01:10:33
Speaker 2: There's your beardless, sickless me.
01:10:34
Speaker 3: Don't forget to go listen to Cinnamon's Star or Star by Cinnamon.
01:10:41
Speaker 1: I was gonna say no.
01:10:43
Speaker 2: S Cinnamon Star.
01:10:44
Speaker 3: People are like looking up Cinnamon Star and they're like no, this song is as Star, the band is Cinnamon. I'm Casey case and I'm cool cool there.
01:10:58
Speaker 2: It is for beardless stickless me.
01:10:59
Speaker 1: I'm Kevin Harley.
01:11:00
Speaker 3: Go have a beardless dickless day. This has been a podcast production, some podcast podcast using our mouths on you since two thousand and seven. Hey kids, did you like what you just heard?
01:11:27
Speaker 2: Well, guess what.
01:11:28
Speaker 3: We've got tons more man thousands of hours of podcasts waiting for you at that Kevinsmith club dot com. Go sign up now