Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
What I ate last week. Ranked #182 in food podcasts in Mexico according to an email I just got.
EPISODE 54
NEWS/UPDATES
TORNADO WATCH; I cleaned my house yesterday so I’m really hoping that I don’t get hit by a tornado. If my house was dirty I’d probably be wishing that a tornado would finish the job and take my house away. Reminds me of someone I dated who would often sublet his apartment but instead of cleaning his apartment before taking photos they would take photos of the dirty apartment photoshop the trash out of it which also reminds me of when some cheap beer released camo cans which made them perfect for throwing in your yard. I’ve thought about this a lot and if a tornado was barreling towards my house, or if a hawk swooped down scooped up one of my cats, the first thing I would do is hit play on Natasha Bedingfield’s Pocket Full of Sunshine.
The Manual Design (Chicago) moccamaster bracket to attach a ceramic drip cup really transformed my coffee and it tastes like it tasted when I first started using it. The coffee stained black plastic really does destroy the flavor.
The green sauce at The Helmand was divine
Happy St. Patrick’s Day; my #1 listener Miranda Winters has reported that Swiss Miss has released a line of hot chocolate with Lucky Charms marshmallows. Everyone loves to drink hot chocolate in the springtime so this makes a lot of sense. Also Bonne Maman peanut chocolate spread – should be called chocolate peanut spread?
David’s protein bars are Kalteen bars
Brian just found out about crumbl. He said “when I went to Ni Asian Kitchen there was a bakery called crumbl" next door. Let’s clap for Brian and his ability to dodge the marketing team of a Mormon cookie empire. The entire world has been taken over by Mormon aesthetic propaganda via Kinfolk magazine, the Magnolia network, etc. Even Denmark was not immune and they were the biggest consumers of kinfolk magazine. This is why everyone is trying to drink raw milk. Somehow Brian has managed to escape this despite there being over 10 locations within a 40 mile radius of our house.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/food/2026/03/09/buffalo-wild-wings-espresso-martini-protein/89065992007/
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/heluva-good-french-onion-dip-philadelphia-restaurants-b2937452.html
Noma update: Rene Redzepi has resigned from Noma. I hate when people say that their food is made with love, it’s like ok, shut up, but there is some truth to it; food made “with love” tastes better than food made with abuse. What do you think he’ll do next? Maybe he’ll start a podcast. Maybe his life is at such a low that he’ll be willing to come on the podcast. It would have to be a virtual interview though, I don’t want him to poke me with knives under the table
Toasted black peppercorns which made the house smell like Christmas but also an electrical fire. Brian walked into the house and said whoa what’s that smell? In a bad way while I was also making meatballs and I was like well that’s not good
Eggs 3, blueberries 1.4 miles
SCENTS
Speaking of scents, Daddy smelled like maple syrup
I rewore Baie 19 to work and it faded into a soapy smell that reminded me of the original smell of Aussie shampoo. My grandmother always had a bottle of it in the bathroom in the 90s. Tannish / peachy rounded cylindrical bottle with a maroonish kangaroo silhouette.
INTERNET
https://www.balloons.net/index.php
NYT Cooking released a recipe and video for Jake & Maggie Gyllenhaal’s Banana Bread. It’s their mom’s recipe except they changed it to something different. Is this going to be a new thing? Random celebrities’ mom’s recipes? At least make it interesting. Andy Dick’s uncle’s neighbor’s spaghetti with clams. Except we changed it. We didn’t have spaghetti.
Charleston, Maine does not have any restaurants
Chill & Grill
Hometown Pizza & Deli where everything is burnt
Sherman Texas
Tornado, WV does not have any restaurants
Reno’s Cheesesteaks in Durham has a seasonal duck chopped cheese; only open 3:45-8pm which feels weird. Looks great though. Fries look great.
Ice cream is good for you https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP84cg1Lt/ except if you’re eating good quality ice cream you’re probably eating well to begin with
Lab grown chocolate like lab grow mushrooms https://futurism.com/future-society/chocolate-lab-grown-cocoa
Rice paper Cuban https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8VVkDd8/
B&W Madelines https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8qyqMra/
Cypsele https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8qHySjJ/
Fish Pate trend
Sardine pate https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8VuKqtB/
Bean salad with anchovy pate https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZP8VusQ2S/
America’s Culinary Cup episode 2
The theme was meat
Guests judge Pat LaFrieda wrote a book simply titled Meat
First challenge was leaving the marble penthouse and going to a farm where they then had to work in teams of two to butcher a cow hanging from a hook in a barn
Malina, who owns a steak house, came in dead last. Her partner, Kim Alter, who specializes in whole animal cookery came in dead last. Kim Alter needs to alter her bio to say she specializes in something else
Second challenge was cooking beef two ways outside. The “beef two ways” rule was vague enough that many people did not understand what they were supposed to make. One contestant, Kate, made a burger so tall not even a snake that could unhinge its jaw to swallow a crocodile could have eaten it. The immediate feedback as the judges went from station to station trying the dishes in the style of British Baking Show is refreshing. Renowned butcher and whole animal cookery master Kim Alter failed again and applied two different cooking methods to the same piece of beef. She did end up going home.
The elimination line for this show is “you served your final dish”. It would be funnier if the just said “go home”.
March 9, 2026 (Monday)
8am: Little Waves coffee with half & half, made at home.
9am: Leftover beef stroganoff over egg noodles.
11:30am: Milton’s everything crackers with Cedar’s garlic hummus.
6:30pm: Baked penne in a red sauce with sweet Italian sausage, mozzarella, romano cheese, and La Tourangelle olive oil, made at home.
7:30pm: Tony’s white chocolate.
I want aluminum restaurant plates to finish things in the oven and let cheese melt
Called ‘sizzling platters”
Olive oil, sweet italian sausage, red onion, garlic, chiltepin peppers, crushed san marzano tomatoes
Penne was on clearance – maybe I like penne now. Why have I avoided it? Do I associate it with bad mall pasta? Sbarro pasta? Penne is too thick
March 10, 2026 (Tuesday)
8:30am: Leftover coffee with half & half and leftover baked penne.
12pm: Scrambled eggs with Isigny butter and chives, made at home.
2:30pm: Tony’s white chocolate.
5:30pm: Milton’s everything crackers.
6:30pm: Roasted Niman Ranch bratwurst, fingerling potatoes, and cauliflower with harissa yogurt sauce and lemon, made at home.
Cooked the eggs in the same pan that I reheated the penne in for some jammy tomato residue. Chives are in full swing.
Milk Street tiktok video of roasted cauliflower with cornstarch, ground cumin, mexican street corn spice, and curry powder at 475 for about 40 mins
White sauce: yogurt, tahini, sriracha, lemon juice, garlic powder, parsley
I’ve had an easier time getting vegetables crispy on their own. Cornstarch didn’t do much here.
March 11, 2026 (Wednesday)
7am: Little Waves coffee with half & half, made at home.
9am: A cup of coffee with half & half at the office.
Cake room: NYT Cooking Page-A-Day calendar recipes for One-Pan Salmon Nicoise With Orzo and Mayo-Marinated Chicken With Chimichurri, a copy of the London Review of Books, and a broken iPhone. (The screen was cracked).
11am: Leftover baked penne.
3:30pm: A bottle of Brew Dr Island Mango Kombucha.
6:30pm: Four pieces of grocery store garlic bread and cream of chicken soup with gnocchi, shredded carrots, and spinach, made by Brian’s mom.
7:30pm: Blue Bell cherry vanilla ice cream.
Got a text message around 3pm that Brian’s mom was bringing over “homemade chicken gnocchi soup at 6”; my first question was, whose house was it made at, and why would they make soup when it’s 90 degrees out
Mango passion fruit green tea. Fab!
Brian’s mom soup
Raw shredded carrots
Spinach
Gnocchi
Canned cream of chicken with chicken pieces
Tastes like your mom’s old lipstick that makes you think oh this was made from a whale
Brian described it as a “wet salad” and “lipstick stew”
March 12, 2026 (Thursday)
8am: Little Waves coffee with half & half, made at home.
10am: Two sunny eggs with half of a leftover Niman Ranch bratwurst, leftover roasted potatoes and cauliflower, and leftover tahini yogurt sauce, made at home.
12pm: A pour of Brew Dr Ice Tea Lemonade kombucha and a bowl of rice cereal with milk.
3:30pm: Milton’s everything crackers.
5:30pm: Pork meatballs and kale in a tomato cream sauce with La Tourangelle olive oil toasted La Farm focaccia, made at home.
7:30pm: Blue Bell coffee ice cream.
Ice Tea Lemonade: black tea, green tea, lemonade; this tasted medicinal with a hint of diaper. Almost gamey. In my rose forum I once described a rose as smelling like a diaper. People asked if I meant a clean diaper or a dirty diaper; it doesn’t matter, because even if a diaper is clean, you’ll still associate the baseline, inherent scent of the diaper with fecal matter
La Farm focaccia is very similar to the Whole Foods focaccia but more expensive. Maybe it was La Farm all along and they just didn’t label it as such because it’s identical to the point that I bought it without checking the price. Best focaccia available; still dry but at least the fermentation is good
My Food Lion now stocks coffee and the rare lemon flavored Blue Bell now
Bringing meatballs to a surprise party
https://www.nigella.com/recipes/guests/alison-romans-spicy-pork-meatballs-in-brothy-tomatoes-and-toasted-fennel
Meatballs
1LB ground pork
1/2c chopped chives
1/2c chopped parsley (reserve ¼ of the chopped herbs for garnish)
1 tsp fennel seeds
1 TB chinese chili flakes
1 tsp aleppo pepper
½ tsp Safinter smoked paprika
1 tsp black pepper
1c plain yogurt
5 garlic cloves, grated; ends reserved
1 lemon cheek
3/4c panko
1 egg
Sauce
Olive oil
1 red onion, sliced
Garlic ends, minced
28oz Cirio tomato puree
Splash of red wine vinegar
Added lacinato kale and a touch of cream; served with focaccia
When I made it for the surprise party I made more of a red curry sauce rather than just a tomato sauce
March 13, 2026 (Friday)
7:30am: Leftover coffee with half & half and a bowl of rice cereal with milk.
Cake room: NYT Cooking Page-a-Day calendar recipes for Pimento Cheese Frittata and Skillet Chicken With Turmeric and Orange.
11am: Leftover meatballs in tomato sauce with romano cheese and leftover toasted focaccia and a cup of coffee with half & half at the office.
4:30pm: A bag of Funyuns and a pour of Brew Dr Ice Tea Lemonade kombucha.
6:30pm: Food Lion spicy chicken tenders over romaine lettuce with romano cheese, red onions, black pepper, and Brianna’s creamy caesar dressing, made at home.
7:30pm: Blue Bell coffee ice cream.
Tough day so I did eat an entire 2 ounce bag of Funyuns that Brian bought for us. When I got to the office I had ten new emails from the same person, and they kept rolling in. Guys, there isn’t any scenario dire enough in which you need to email ME, ten times in a row, at any time of the day, because if it’s really that serious you should already be in the hospital.
March 12, 2026 (Saturday)
9am: Little Waves coffee with half & half, made at home.
12pm: A chicken shawarma pita with babaganoush and mujadara from Mediterranean Grill & Grocery in Durham, North Carolina.
1:30pm: A cold brew with half & half from Cocoa Cinnamon in Durham.
3pm: An Island punch Spindrift.
4:30pm: A pour of Weihenstephaner helles lager, french fries with curried ketchup and curried mayonnaise, Hornbacher alpine cheese, coppa, and pickled herring at Guglhupf in Durham.
7:30pm: Blue Bell coffee ice cream.
Found 3 types of raisins and barberries at Global Suq
Now I have raisins in my pantry which I never wanted to have happen
Imposter Tiramisu: cortado with mokha syrup, a layer of micro-textured milk, a layer of mascarpone, topped with cocoa powder and a lady finger cookie
Passionfruit, orange, guava (13 calories) which is the origin of the term pog, the 90s toy
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pog_(drink)
Music at Guglhupf: Coldplay, maroon 5, Hoobastank and the servers know every word
What appeared to be apple pie filling or “european chutney”
https://www.murrayscheese.com/dp/hornbacher?srsltid=AfmBOoqHC1rjz3r04iA8NYHJkBph8VCSYHYebtd_6bfiO7AFipEoxKJB
Whole Foods didn’t have currants or any dried fruit for that matter, or any canned seltzer
Currant shortage due to weather / import issues; black currant production has been banned in the US for around 100 years because currants carry a rust that can infect pine trees
https://www.saveur.com/irish-coffee-soda-bread-recipe/
March 15, 2026 (Sunday)
9am: Little Waves coffee with half & half, made at home.
12pm: Leftover meatballs with parmesan, La Tourangelle olive oil, and La Farm focaccia, and half a can of Other Half Brewing Snaps pilsner.
4pm: Chicken soup with carrots, celery, red onion, curly kale, yellow potatoes, pinto beans, and lemon, made at home.
7pm: Tri-colored heirloom popcorn with butter and chili lime seasoning and a can of Other Half Brewing Snaps pilsner.
Made soda bread; didn’t get any
Snaps pilsner kind of tastes like gatorade. Seemingly random Brooklyn-based brewery that was at the Durham co-op, which also carries Fat Orange Cat, which is only making IPAs right now.
Made popcorn for the final On Cinema Oscar’s special