Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
"Welcome to 'Parent Like An Athlete,' your ultimate guide to parenting with audacity, tenacity, and finesse. Hosted by the dynamic duo, Otis Grigsby, a former NFL warrior turned attorney, and his British wife, Gemma Grigsby, a successful healthtech marketing agency owner. Our mission is to navigate the parenting field with the same relentless drive as an athlete striving to improve by one percent each day. This isn't about winning or losing; it's about mastering consistency, transforming routine into an art form, and making everyday parenting an exciting journey. Are you ready to redefine your parenting playbook? Tune in and join our vibrant community as we tackle today's parenting challenges head-on!"
00:00:00:00 - 00:00:22:10
Unknown
Hey, everyone. Welcome to the latest episode of Parenting An Athlete. My name is Otis. I'm Gemma and we are reading Reddit stories and reacting to those stories in a hopefully humorous and entertaining and informational kind of way. Education, I guess, is the word I was looking for. Yeah. So we're having a little fun with this. We've got six stories for you all today.
00:00:22:11 - 00:00:31:22
Unknown
I'm actually not going to preview the stories. What I'm going to do is just let you know if you want to see previews of them. You can check out the chapters in the in I and YouTube. So,
00:00:31:22 - 00:00:35:12
Unknown
this first one is really good. All right. I think it's really good.
00:00:35:14 - 00:00:37:16
Unknown
I'm going to let Gemma read it.
00:00:37:16 - 00:00:58:08
Unknown
My husband, 32, and I, 32, have a one year old daughter. I'm currently a stay at home mom, and I am my child's primary caregiver. A breastfeeding journey was not a success, so we turned to bottle feeding, which initially left me feeling inadequate as well as deeply sad about losing the opportunity to bond with her.
00:00:58:10 - 00:01:17:16
Unknown
The silver lining was they allowed my husband and I to take shifts in her care and give me some much needed rest as I had serious health concerns. Postpartum. But here we are at the one year mark, and it seems like she prefers her dad to me. I take care of all day long and her dad takes over in the evening when he's done with his work.
00:01:17:18 - 00:01:37:23
Unknown
He works from home and is an involved parent, but I am still the one actively thinking about parenting, not to mention researching problems, solving and doing most of the activities that come with day to day parenting and taking care of a 75% of the time. And yet she says, Dada, but never mama. And I know she can say it because she said it once.
00:01:38:01 - 00:01:57:12
Unknown
The repeated prompts after that were unsuccessful. I feel stupid writing this as if I'm complaining about her, which is not my intention. I play with her all day long and she's a bundle of laughs and silliness and is happy with me. At the moment Dada enters the room. I might as well be the wall. She pushes me away and he is all she can see.
00:01:57:13 - 00:02:17:10
Unknown
Even though he is stricter as a parent than I am, the more comforting and empathetic one. Now, she is becoming a toddler. Her preference for him is even more obvious. Taking her away from daddy leads to a meltdown, and I feel more inadequate than ever becoming a stay at home mom. Temporarily was my choice, and it was not an easy one.
00:02:17:12 - 00:02:34:19
Unknown
I was brought up by a nanny as mom and dad both worked full time, and I remember feeling quite alone as a kid and desperately wanting attention from my parents. I did not want that for my child, but now I feel I've dedicated myself to her and it doesn't matter to her if I'm around or not. Which I know isn't true.
00:02:34:19 - 00:02:55:22
Unknown
But that's how it feels. I know this is a one year old who is not intentionally blowing me off, but I can't help feeling bad. I've spoken to my husband about this and he says it's normal for a girl children to prefer fathers, and that I'm reading more into it than there is because of my insecurities. I know parenthood is not a competition and that we are all lucky to be part of a loving, whole family.
00:02:56:00 - 00:03:02:04
Unknown
But I need help dealing with this nagging discontent that my kid likes her father better.
00:03:02:04 - 00:03:32:09
Unknown
I know you've got a lot of thoughts on this. Oh, yes, Yes, I've got so many thoughts. Um, yeah, I. You know. Hmm. Where do I start? Here. I guess my thought is, what is what does she want to happen from this? I guess maybe the hope is a daughter stops preferring that.
00:03:32:09 - 00:03:53:02
Unknown
I don't know. What? What? Like she's looking to get out of it. But, yeah, I don't know if she. If she wants to be the favorite or if she wants just equal favoritism. Yeah. So this is the funny thing. There is no such thing as true equality. I mean, I think when you think about equality, it's, uh, it's.
00:03:53:04 - 00:04:34:15
Unknown
We're always striving for something that looks equal or feels equal, feels fair or whatever, But there's really never, like, equilibrium. I feel like the earth rotates at a different speed, like different like every year. Like it's not nothing's, nothing's ever exactly the same. And in this case, excuse me, in this case, you know, it seems like mom is looking to there's like a bit of a quid pro quo involved where mom is kind of trying to figure out why is it that the daughter likes me, likes my dad, her dad more?
00:04:34:17 - 00:05:19:10
Unknown
When I spend all this time with her, I'm more nurturing. And and it's this really, uh, interesting dynamic that that's playing out with between her and her daughter that I think it happens with adults and other adults all the time, where people kind of assume that if you put in a lot of effort and work really hard on, you know, being amenable to this other person's desires and needs, that somehow that person is going to like you even more, you're going to, you know, be great friends forever and, you know, the reality is, like people have all kinds of reasons for liking one person more than the other.
00:05:19:12 - 00:05:41:02
Unknown
So if I'm mom, I'm really just like, I would be super pumped that my daughter has such excitement for, you know, her father when he comes home. I think it's great that when he comes or as he works, he works from home. Is that what it was? Yeah. So he works from home, but he's like focused on work for most of the day.
00:05:41:02 - 00:06:05:19
Unknown
And then the last part of the day, he he takes care of his daughter. So I think it's great that he's, you know, he's contributing. He seems to be engaged. And the fact that his daughter's so excited to, like, spend time with him shows that he's actually showing up to spend time with her. And in a way that like doesn't indicate he's giving her less than his best effort.
00:06:05:21 - 00:06:44:02
Unknown
So, like, this guy is like showing up with energy consistency. It's hard to to, you know, show up for someone after you've spent a whole day at work and be likable and fun and seems like he's he's crushing it. And and yeah, to be competing with with him is I think a little yeah there's an insecure thing his comments about the reasons for why you know look daughters and daughters like fathers more or something like that that's yeah I didn't necessarily true I don't think it's true and I think he just made that up to make her feel better.
00:06:44:02 - 00:07:05:07
Unknown
And for me, I mean, I'm not me I'm not I'm not one to do to say things to just make people feel better, like I'm going to say true the truth, like, hey, you know, I'm sure that that girl just likes her dad more than you. Like, like a little bit like, just. Just a little bit. Just a little bit.
00:07:05:09 - 00:07:25:05
Unknown
But it's funny because, you know, you hear parents and you ask parents, well, which one is your favorite kid? And like, oh, I love all my kid the same. You know, I didn't ask like, this kid do you love the most? I said, Which is your favorite? Like, which one do you like the most? And and for you to lie and say you like both like all of your kids the same, that's not true.
00:07:25:05 - 00:07:46:01
Unknown
And you know, kids at least they're very honest. You can tell they will let you know if they prefer one parent over the other in some in in some cases, it's I prefer this parent in this circumstance and I prefer this parent in this circumstance. So I would just tell this mom, hey, it's a it's a marathon, not a sprint.
00:07:46:01 - 00:08:10:06
Unknown
I mean, if you're, you know, worried about your daughter liking you, like, hey, she's she's going to like dad less tomorrow or more tomorrow. It's a it's going to change over time. There's a lot of years. And at the end of the day, it doesn't matter because that's not that's not my goal of parenting. Like, hey, make sure my kids love me the most or like me the most.
00:08:10:07 - 00:08:33:04
Unknown
Like I know they like me more than the average Joe on the street. Like he wants to. He wants to be here with me and my wife. If he likes her more, fine. But I don't know. Anyway, I think now I think that's a good point that you raised about, you know. Yeah. Right now, today you might be the favorite or in this particular situation, you might be the favorite.
00:08:33:06 - 00:08:54:06
Unknown
But I think people's affection for people and especially kids can change on a dime. Like, you know, you know, you think about like the people that you work with, like some days you're like really jelling with somebody and some days like they annoy you and then you kind of get on with somebody else better. And I think kids are the same.
00:08:54:06 - 00:09:15:20
Unknown
Like it's it's nothing. And I think the important thing is, is to really try and not to take it personally, because, you know, that can be especially if you already have insecurities in that area that can be really damaging and put you in a headspace that you don't want to be in. And I think I mean, I can relate a little bit to this, mom.
00:09:15:20 - 00:09:40:14
Unknown
I mean, there's definitely been situations where, I mean, I can think of a situation today where we were hanging out in the pool with her son and like you were like holding him and stuff. And I went to hold him. I didn't want to be held by me. He wanted to be held by you. And, you know, there was a second there where I felt like a sting of, like rejection.
00:09:40:16 - 00:09:58:21
Unknown
And then I was like, I actually thought about this article because we'd already been talking about it a little bit. And I was like, But I, you know, it was like a second. And it passed. And I think, like it's a normal human response sometimes feel a sting from rejection, but I think it's like, how what do you do then?
00:09:58:21 - 00:10:17:12
Unknown
Like, do you keep thinking about it and going over and over in your head? Or is it like, okay, well, he went through with his dad, That's great. His dad wants to be with him. That's great. I can like go over here and talk to my friends and, like, not worry about it, you know? Yeah. And I guess, you know, we should add some context.
00:10:17:12 - 00:10:39:13
Unknown
I mean, we were we were in a pool at a friend's house with a bunch of strangers, and. And what, what we've what I've seen is when we're in places where there's a lot of people, a lot going on, adults, you know, not kids. And he's, you know, trying to figure out like, his place and who these people are.
00:10:39:15 - 00:11:02:17
Unknown
He will cling tightly to me. And I look at it just like, well, he just recognizes who has the most, you know, ability to protect him from danger. Or like if these people are, in fact, like, kind of scary to him, like, I clearly can, you know, kick their butts. So I think he's just a smart kid. He's just recognizing where his opportunities are.
00:11:02:17 - 00:11:12:09
Unknown
So, you know, like, he's not going to try to like, you know, go to me for like, you know, breast milk. It's a dry situation there. I mean, now it's a dry situation for me, too. It's dry everywhere.
00:11:12:09 - 00:11:19:07
Unknown
Moving along, moving swiftly along. So the next our next story is
00:11:19:07 - 00:11:39:22
Unknown
what do you wish you would have done one last time before your first was born? The baby moon my wife and I were planning fell through, but we'll both still be taking a four day weekend for our anniversary in a couple of weeks. We're trying to figure out some staycation things to do, like going out to a nice restaurant and whatnot.
00:11:39:22 - 00:11:47:12
Unknown
but as a soon to be first time dad. Idk what I'm most going to miss about pre kid life.
00:11:47:12 - 00:12:03:19
Unknown
If you could roll back the clock and do a few things again before your first was born, what would be at the top of your list? For reference, We're in the Seattle area and my wife will be 33 to 3 or four weeks at that time, so no flying and nothing too crazy.
00:12:03:19 - 00:12:29:02
Unknown
Then the third. Okay. Yeah, we think, okay, I feel like this is kind of like twofold. Like I know he's asking about right now, like, what should they do right now that they can do? Because there's also like, a bunch of stuff that you would be fun to do, but you can't write, like you can't drink. You can get high, you can't do like crazy sporting things.
00:12:29:02 - 00:12:53:15
Unknown
Like, you know, it's too late to like, go skydiving or a bunch of crazy stuff like that. So in the context of she's, you know, 30 weeks pregnant, I think honestly, just like spending quality time with your partner and like really just using this time to, like, really connect and just make sure your relationship is in a really great place.
00:12:53:15 - 00:13:33:08
Unknown
Like if there's, you know, underlying issues with it with anything or unresolved conflict like this is a really good time to figure it out, because I think like once the baby comes, you're not going to really have any time for each other for the first few months. Like it's going to be crazy for a little bit. So just do the things like you like doing together, whether that's just hanging out in bed and watching movies or, you know, going on a hike or being spontaneous or doing nothing because like, it's some it's the little things, right?
00:13:33:08 - 00:13:53:06
Unknown
It's like you know, sometimes like we wake up and it's like, I really want to lie in bed for, like I said, a bed for like 30 minutes right now and not do anything. It's like, No, you can't because you've got to get up. You're responsible. You have a child in the next room who needs a diaper change and like he needs to get up, he needs to eat.
00:13:53:08 - 00:14:27:15
Unknown
So it's like you can't you can't just like, lie or do nothing good. Um, so, yeah, maybe just like the simple things like that. What do you think? Mm. I could not disagree more now, you know, like the. So this this man, he was really asking two questions. He asked the first question was like, well, the babymoon was scuttled and you know, what can we do together?
00:14:27:17 - 00:14:48:14
Unknown
But really, he's like he's saying, you know, let's let's zero in on what he's really talking about. But as a soon to be first time dad idk what I'm most going to miss about pre kid life. First of all, I don't know who this man is, so I don't know what his interests are. Right? I don't know what he might be.
00:14:48:20 - 00:15:16:14
Unknown
Might be in the live music. Right? You might be the kind of guy that wants to be front and center at a, you know, I don't know, like a crazy heavy metal, you know, rock band show or something. Right. Or maybe he likes to, you know, get high and just kind of coast through the streets late at night, going from one one food truck to the second the next.
00:15:16:18 - 00:15:39:09
Unknown
I don't know. I'm just I'm just, you know, I don't know. But like, I think, um, I think that if if you're asking me, it's figure out what is it that you just enjoy doing and you know, you're not really going to have time to do for a while. I wouldn't really look at it as, you know, I wish I could do this one last time.
00:15:39:11 - 00:15:59:09
Unknown
I mean, there's no to me, the things that you that, that I could do one last time. Um, I feel like that ship has set sail. Like after I got married. I mean, it's like, you know, there's kind of nothing to saying, like, the things. Wow. No, really, Like, when you're talking about, like, well, we're kind of, like, one last time.
00:15:59:09 - 00:16:20:14
Unknown
Or what is this guy talking about doing? Like, I don't know. I'm just saying like, well, I think he's looking for something for them to do together. He, he, he was. But then he also he also said, I know, like, I know what's in this man's head. He's he's he's he's he's this is he's being like very politically correct with his with what he's writing.
00:16:20:15 - 00:16:43:13
Unknown
I mean, this I, I, I think that this is like a very smart guy and he's trying to, uh, not come off as, like, a selfish dude. That's what he sounds like to me. And, like, and maybe. Maybe I'm just a selfish person. Maybe it's me. I don't know. Maybe I'm just projecting my selfishness on this poor guy in Seattle.
00:16:43:13 - 00:17:07:02
Unknown
Innocent man. And so. Yeah, So, yeah, But honestly, you know, I think he really is trying to figure out what is it that he's going to wake up one day and mess and realize like, Oh, I can't really do this anymore. And honestly, like, I don't think it matters, you know, like, like when once the baby comes, you're not going to be thinking like, Oh, man, I'm so glad I did that thing one last time.
00:17:07:08 - 00:17:26:20
Unknown
You're you're not going to you're not going to think that, like, I can't I cannot think of a thing that I've done in the past that I haven't done sense where I'm like, Oh, man, I'm so glad I did that one last time. I mean, if you did it once, you've done it once, like, So what's the one what's one more time like?
00:17:26:22 - 00:17:42:11
Unknown
I mean, you know, just do what you want to do. Like, like for me, like, what would I do? Like, it's like, what do I love? I love hanging out with my friends. So you might not see your friends for a while. So I'm going to go find some time to hang out with my friends around like, you know, check out some, you know, some music.
00:17:42:11 - 00:18:04:05
Unknown
Maybe we'll go watch a game. Maybe we'll have a game night. I don't know what we're going to do, but, like, hang out with, like, my guy friends because once the baby comes, like, you kind of, you know, to a certain extent, like that baby alienates like all of your existing relationships. And some people kind of hold a grudge for some reason.
00:18:04:05 - 00:18:33:20
Unknown
And honestly, I think it's a nice gift to your friends to say, oh, hey, you know, I know I'm not going to see much of you once the baby comes unless you just want to come by and pitch in like a good friend. But honestly, I just want to just, you know, show some love and and spend some time with you, you know, before this stage of my life comes where I'm really just not going to be anywhere near as available as I'd like to be.
00:18:33:22 - 00:19:01:07
Unknown
I think, you know, have some. Yeah, have some fun. But, you know, he missed the babymoon. You can't do anything on the babymoon anyway, you know, like, well, I think, I think it's about spending time together and just like, do at home. But there's something nice about, you know, like hanging out by a pool, like, you know, and, and like, because now it's like, you know, hanging out port, not having any restrictions on your time.
00:19:01:07 - 00:19:27:14
Unknown
Like, you know, when the baby comes, you're going to be on a schedule. So, like, I think just, just enjoy like enjoy the freedom of like being spontaneous, enjoy the freedom of being spontaneous. Like if you haven't had your free time. I think we've talked about this in the past. If you your your free time and your fun time.
00:19:27:14 - 00:19:47:17
Unknown
I'm not saying it's over. It's just, you know, you're in a different season. It's time for something difference on hold for a bit. Yeah. I mean, it's like if you don't know, go to college or your plan is to like, party. Some people go to college and they party and some people go to college and they study and, you know, I know what I did.
00:19:47:17 - 00:20:07:02
Unknown
One outcome is better than the other, as all I'm saying. So, uh, yeah. So you think the you know, this guy should spend more time with his wife before I think he should spend time with his friends and other people he's never going to see again? Well, I mean, if. No, I've no shouldn't spend time with his friends.
00:20:07:02 - 00:20:29:15
Unknown
I'm I'm just I'm just recapping. He was asking about what they can do together. He was asking about what the. Okay. So I guess I didn't answer that that part of his question. What you can do together. This guy's not watching this video, but, uh, anyone who's in this similar predicament. Yeah. What can you do together? Um, what you like to do together?
00:20:29:17 - 00:21:01:04
Unknown
Yeah. Make dinner like you can go to dinner. But honestly, you know, the really cool thing, especially if you don't know how to cook. I mean, I think I can cook pretty well, but if you don't know how to cook, like, learn how to cook a dish. Um, learning something new and trying something new together, I think is, is an interesting thing because, well, one, it's like, well, maybe it's something that you've always wanted to do, but you just haven't done, like, I don't know, make sushi together or whatever.
00:21:01:04 - 00:21:22:05
Unknown
Like get to the point where you're really good at making sushi. Have you ever made sushi? Oh, because you don't. You know, you're right. She was vegetarian for the longest and still didn't eat raw fish. But, uh. But yeah, we'll get there making sushi is very difficult, but also super rewarding when you eat it. And, I don't know, maybe those.
00:21:22:05 - 00:21:43:19
Unknown
And they're in Seattle, so I'm good. I start a podcast together thanks to our podcast. And you know, it's highly recommended that yeah, start a podcast and then, you know, once the baby comes, you could probably still do the podcast. I mean, maybe you do the podcast when the baby's crying and just signal the baby, cover the baby up so you don't get flagged by YouTube.
00:21:43:21 - 00:22:11:22
Unknown
The controls or whatever. I don't know. Yeah, no, really. Like, there's not a whole lot you can do. It's a, it's, I honestly I think it's, it's one of those like things that I think people, people reach for, for some comfort when things are changing and it's like I need to like do something so I can hold on to like some part of like my old life.
00:22:11:22 - 00:22:36:08
Unknown
And it's like, just let it go. How about that? Just just let it go. Just just enjoy yourselves, you know? Spend time with your wife. I know when we went on the babymoon, you know, you look at the list of of all the excursions and activities and literally couldn't do anything, and it's like, oh, we go to the ocean, except we're in Cabo and the surf is like a nightmare.
00:22:36:10 - 00:22:59:17
Unknown
You could die just by like, stepping foot in the water and the sand beach. Sand. I mean, it's not my thing, but, you know, like, yeah, go to pool. Yeah, go to good brunch. But I don't I don't honestly like it doesn't. It doesn't matter. Like you're not going to, you're not remembering this like and Yeah, just relax.
00:22:59:17 - 00:23:24:09
Unknown
Yeah. You're not going to, it's not going to matter. It doesn't matter to some of you. All it does. And I'm sorry if, if I, if I didn't acknowledge that, but yeah, um, anyways, I think, I think we kind of did this one to death. We did it to death. Oh, boy. That means we've been talking too long.
00:23:24:11 - 00:23:45:02
Unknown
Are we going to have this episode under an hour or now? Stay tuned in to find us. Stay tuned. Y'all don't, don't, don't go, because this next one, this next one was really good. So real quick, I got to remind you all to like this video honestly likes doesn't really matter. Love it if you subscribe. Love it if you watch the entire video.
00:23:45:03 - 00:24:01:01
Unknown
Love it even more. Is after you watch this video. Watch another video. I don't know. Watch a short you know, it's three long. We got three. Part three. This is episode three. So there's three. Podcast. There's some old videos there you can check out and there's some shorts. So there's all kinds of stuff and there's going to be more.
00:24:01:01 - 00:24:17:09
Unknown
So just, you know, turn on notifications anyway, the next one is, I think, pretty good. Okay, Uh, would you like to read it or do you want me to read it? Uh, I can read it.
00:24:17:09 - 00:24:41:01
Unknown
Okay. Partner is making it hard as a parent, and outings are hell Every time I go out with my son, who's six months and my partner, it is utter hell. Yet if I go out with my son and my grandparents, it's fine. If I go out was just me and my son. It's fine when me and my partner and my son go out.
00:24:41:07 - 00:25:01:22
Unknown
My partner gets very on edge at every single whinge my child makes, and it makes the situation a thousand times worse. He has completely unrealistic expectations of how a child is supposed to behave. He gets wound up so easily by him whingeing and my partner then gets me frustrated when it all could have been avoided if we all stayed calm.
00:25:02:00 - 00:25:20:15
Unknown
You seem to think that if, for example, we're out for a meal, one small wins for my son will ruin everyone else's meal at the restaurant. He's so worried about what other people are thinking and gets so tense and it really adds fuel to the fire when situations could be handled so much easier. He's also starting to get very angry with our son.
00:25:20:17 - 00:25:36:04
Unknown
Today in the car, he was moaning a lot. And I know how frustrating it can be because I deal with it every day. Whereas he doesn't. We're on holiday at the moment, so we can't Skype him during the car journey. He screamed at the top of his lungs to my son to shut up, and it honestly made me scared.
00:25:36:04 - 00:25:52:10
Unknown
So I dread to think what it did to our son. It breaks my heart that my son has to hear his caregiver scream at him. In this way, I can't get out of my mind what this must have done to his development. A shouting at this level is so damaging to children, let alone a baby. This recently turned one.
00:25:52:12 - 00:26:09:17
Unknown
I'm at my wit's end and I'm finding that parenting is more enjoyable and easier when he's at work and I'm doing it on my own. Is this a sign for us to split up? I want what's best for my son and I don't want him being screamed at. My partner's outbursts in general, tense behavior is ruining my life.
00:26:09:19 - 00:26:28:13
Unknown
I just want to add my partner has never once done a bedtime routine. Very, very rarely changed a nappy, very rarely makes his dinners or gets him a drink. It's me who's the primary camera, and I do understand that my partner works long shifts at work, so I'm happy to do all this. But surely it shouldn't be easier when he's not around
00:26:28:13 - 00:26:30:05
Unknown
that in the end.
00:26:30:10 - 00:27:01:00
Unknown
Yes. End? Yeah. I'm. I've got some slightly related thoughts. Slightly related, Yes. Well, yeah, like because you said whinge like it was a real word and I was like, oh, because when I read this I thought this woman, when Israel was damn, she's obviously British because she's saying right nappy and said, yeah, I was, I was I'm sorry.
00:27:01:01 - 00:27:27:18
Unknown
I should have said a word that people say. And I'm thinking that must be like she must be British. And then she said, Yeah, she said nappy. She said something else that just kind of grabbed my attention. Oh holiday we don't, we don't holiday in the US. We're never on holiday. Oh that's true. Yeah. Vacation. Yeah, we have vacations and that's, you know, if you're lucky.
00:27:27:20 - 00:27:57:06
Unknown
Yeah, I really do vacations in the US. Yeah. Naughty, naughty. Anyway, uh, did you want to go first on this one or. Sure. I mean, I feel like. Yeah, this guy sounds like he's got some sort of issues, whether it's like anger issues or unrealistic expectations. You know, obviously isn't really spending that much time trying to bond with his kids.
00:27:57:10 - 00:28:10:15
Unknown
Um, sounds like maybe he's got some other stuff going on, like the relationship doesn't seem like it's in a great place. Um, I can understand why she's getting frustrated for sure.
00:28:10:15 - 00:28:24:01
Unknown
Yeah, it seems like there's. There's a communication breakdown in that relationship, but it's not cool that he's, like, taken out on his baby and shouting his baby. I mean, that is going to resolve nothing.
00:28:24:03 - 00:28:32:01
Unknown
Shouting a one year old and just reacting emotionally like that. Yeah,
00:28:32:01 - 00:28:53:07
Unknown
yeah, yeah, yeah. So my thought is, from what I'm reading here, it sounds like she has not confronted her husband about this. Uh, and, you know, honestly, this is I know this is like an overgeneralization and I don't, I don't want to offend. Oh, here we go.
00:28:53:08 - 00:29:25:11
Unknown
Our British following, because we appreciate it. We appreciate it. I mean, 10% of the people watch are in the UK, so we truly appreciate it. But I was going to say, like, what I've noticed is there's like this, um, aversion to being confrontational unless it's like Piers Morgan and I guess I don't know what's going on with that guy, but please don't use him as like a benchmark for British people, because I like Piers Morgan is like the most confrontational British person I've ever seen.
00:29:25:11 - 00:29:47:16
Unknown
Anyway, I don't want to get into politics, but, you know, it's a it's a it seems like one of those things where you should just I mean, you the child's mom, you should say something. Start by just saying something. Hey, look, you can't talk to a baby like that. That's not okay. Should should they split up? No. Maybe you should go to counseling.
00:29:47:16 - 00:30:02:22
Unknown
I mean, he should probably go to counseling on his own because it seems like he has some anger issues and, you know, NHS, I mean, yoga got like, isn't that free? He can get free counseling. Yeah. I mean, you have to wait a while. I might have to wait a while, but the baby's going to be around for 18 years.
00:30:02:22 - 00:30:31:07
Unknown
So, you know, so so you got, you got all these free resources. I think he needs to use them because yeah, he does have some unrealistic expectations. He doesn't, he's not really taking care of the kid at all. And and I I'm not saying you don't want to cut him out. No, you don't want to do that. You want to give him the opportunity to correct the correct things.
00:30:31:09 - 00:30:33:14
Unknown
And for me, I would I would say is
00:30:33:14 - 00:30:48:18
Unknown
this is important. So, you know, listen to this right here. This is like a fantastic idea. I might not be, but I feel like we should zoom in on you. You know, I think it will happen when I edit this. This is an important lesson that
00:30:48:18 - 00:30:59:12
Unknown
any time you want someone to change their behavior, do something different.
00:30:59:14 - 00:31:45:18
Unknown
You must think about what it is that they want, not what it is that you want. And it's a little bit of an exercise in, you know, manipulation a little bit. You know, that's marketing sales, right? Like you're kind of getting into their head a little bit. But this father, I don't know what he wants, but I, I would spend some time thinking about what does he truly want, How does he because people some people are very concerned about how they're seen by others.
00:31:45:19 - 00:32:19:02
Unknown
He might be concerned about, you know, spending all this time being bitter and then having a son who grows up hating him. I don't know what it is, but to me, it's like I'm always looking for what do you want? And then I say, okay, I believe you want this. So maybe he wants to have a son who is a high performer, produces, you know, he has a high income, has a happy family, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
00:32:19:03 - 00:32:42:10
Unknown
Right? So, okay, you want your kid to be productive. I think most parents want their kids to leave the house and be fruitful and productive. Okay, honey, I can't do the accent. Honey, is that supposed to be British, right? No, it's not. I'm not doing an accent. I'm just. I'm. I'm just pretending to be a woman. But just not a British woman.
00:32:42:10 - 00:33:13:17
Unknown
I should not try to pretend to be a woman. She should just, you know, just say, look, I know she's been having some difficulty with our son Todd as contact Todd. That's not a very British name. Oh, um, George, let's go to George. Ben, is Ben. Let's go to George. George? Georgie. George. Pudgy, you. I've noticed that you've been really a little on edge with Georgie.
00:33:13:22 - 00:33:42:22
Unknown
Uh, and and I think your expectations are a little high for how he should behave in public as a one year old and how he should behave in a car as a one year old. And. And here's the thing. Um, it's possible that you are right about how you should be behaving. It's possible. I don't think so. But, like, maybe you've read some things that point to how this baby should be acting.
00:33:42:22 - 00:34:04:14
Unknown
And. And if you've read something that's. That's, you know, not in line with how he's acting, please show it to me. And and we can talk about that. But from everything that I've seen, he is behaving like a baby. And the way you're behaving is like someone who wants your baby to grow up to be a grown man who cannot stand his father.
00:34:04:16 - 00:34:29:12
Unknown
And that's not even that's just the tip of the iceberg right now. Not only he not be able to stand you, but you're going to teach him how to be a father in the process of him learning to you. So not only will he dislike you, but he will behave like you, which is creating the risk of him doing exactly what you're doing all over again.
00:34:29:16 - 00:35:03:23
Unknown
Hmm. And and were a horrible thing. That would be right. Can you imagine watching him raise your grandson, treating him in a way that makes your grandson hate your son and generational trauma and relive it and realizing it was your fault? Like you go to work because you care. You really I mean, you put in effort because you care, because you want to provide.
00:35:04:00 - 00:35:33:23
Unknown
But if you provide resources for him, but then you cut him off at the knees with your horrible attitude because you know, something in your life isn't is is at a sink or whatever, you're literally wasting your time. I mean, he was just like, give up. Don't say that part. I wouldn't like it. But seriously, like, why show up to work if if you're going to undermine your efforts with the way you behave with your kid.
00:35:34:00 - 00:35:41:13
Unknown
So I would just say, look, I mean, if you if you think work sucks, think about how much work sucks when you realize it was all for naught.
00:35:41:13 - 00:35:52:22
Unknown
I know. Yeah. It also does sound like he is very concerned with what people think of him, which is a problem. I mean, yeah. Worried about the other people in the restaurant.
00:35:52:23 - 00:36:01:05
Unknown
I mean, obviously, like, you know, you don't want your kids seen in a restaurant, but it doesn't sound like that's what he was doing. It sounds like he was just being a baby. Oh,
00:36:01:05 - 00:36:15:07
Unknown
yeah. Here's here's a pro tip for for any any dad who's worried about what people are thinking in the restaurant. Here's what you do.
00:36:15:09 - 00:36:41:00
Unknown
Protect Uh, just pick the kid, walk him around, comfort him, soothe him. If you're worried, if you're worried about what people are thinking. You know what? I'll tell you what they're thinking. Once you pick your baby up and start walking around and soothing and comforting him, the thinking, Wow, what a great. That's not the pro tip I thought you were going to give over.
00:36:41:01 - 00:37:06:11
Unknown
You think? As I say, it was, get this, get him some bread. Because we recently discovered this trick. When we take our son to restaurant as he really likes chewing on the bread. Oh, yeah. I mean, every kid's. But yeah, if you want to try this, I mean, give him some bread. Because if you think about how bread works, it's squishy, but, like, there's no juice that comes out of it, so it's not messy, right?
00:37:06:17 - 00:37:24:04
Unknown
Unless it's got like a bunch of butter on it. They can tear it. Babies love tearing things. So it's like this tactile thing that they also can put in their mouth and it's delicious and it's something that they can't really eat quickly, but it's harder for them to choke on them because some babies are going to choke on it.
00:37:24:04 - 00:37:46:17
Unknown
But you'll be there so you can monitor it all. Yeah. Uh, yeah. Bread. Bread is a great distraction, not a phone, bread, bread, but also pick them up. Pick them up walking around, you know, put them in your lap and kind of feed him while you're while he's sitting on your lap, you know? Are you going to get much food in your mouth?
00:37:46:19 - 00:38:10:05
Unknown
No. But again, like you're building a bond with him, which is something that this father seems to have like missed by not changing diapers, by not really feeding him, being there for him. And and again, for someone who's really worried about what other people think about him, you know, the negative stuff people aren't really thinking that much about because that's just normal.
00:38:10:09 - 00:38:33:13
Unknown
The baby babies cry. That's normal. But what's not normal is a dad getting up and just like comforting his child, carrying him, walking around, taking him outside, you know, taking time to to, like, go the extra mile. People love that stuff. So if you're that guy and you want to, like, impress other people, then go for it. Also, better to just like, you know, do it for your child.
00:38:33:13 - 00:39:00:22
Unknown
But yeah, and try and not be concerned with what people think. Yeah try and not but but you know what there are people with a long term goal I guess people, people have a hard time. So in a world where this guy cannot control his desire to, to not upset other people, and again, this is just this I feel like this is a British thing just saying I mean, wow, I'm sorry.
00:39:01:03 - 00:39:21:20
Unknown
There's A there is a there is a desire to not make a scene, a desire to to not, you know. Well, that is true. That's true. It's a very it's so you know, this is good to a whole country of people. Like don't worry about what people think of you. I would just say, well, look, if you're going to worry about what people think of you, then then have some perspective.
00:39:21:20 - 00:39:43:23
Unknown
Think about ways to do something where it completely offsets the annoyance of your child crying. Then it's like, Oh, wow, that guy's really trying. He's doing it. He's doing his best. Look at him. He's he's really doing his best. Can't fault this guy. This the kid. It's the kid's fault. Clearly, the dad is like, doing everything he can.
00:39:44:01 - 00:40:09:05
Unknown
Look at it. I don't know. I mean, you know, it's just try some stuff, you know, experiment. You see what works. I think the problem is he doesn't seem to want to try that. Yeah, he seems like a miserable, miserable guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So he he probably some therapy. Probably could use some friends. Oh, hey, here's the thing.
00:40:09:07 - 00:40:38:10
Unknown
I know I said therapy. I start with therapy, but the reality is exercise. Exercise. Yes. Exercises that she code. Yes. This is Max says get outside. Go for a walk for a run. Go for a swim. Like get the heart racing. Yeah. Flip your your attitude like that and you'll live longer, which is good for you and everyone who loves you.
00:40:38:10 - 00:41:10:23
Unknown
Yeah. Yeah. Uh, so. All right, I was going to ask last thoughts, but it sounds like, uh, sounds like we're ready to keep it real. Yeah, I think we put a bow on it. All right, this one is this one. I like this one. It's. It's like a heart warming one, so I'm going to read it. I
00:41:10:23 - 00:41:15:14
Unknown
found out my girlfriend is pregnant.
00:41:15:16 - 00:41:38:12
Unknown
I never wanted kids, and I've had an abortion with my ex-girlfriend. Even with my current girlfriend, we plan to abort it if she ever got pregnant. I found out yesterday during our anniversary dinner. She's pregnant and it's been four weeks. I don't want to abort it. I want to keep it. And I'm so happy. I cried yesterday when she told me.
00:41:38:14 - 00:42:03:20
Unknown
She said she's scared, but she wants to keep it too. She doesn't want me telling anyone for the for the next few months. So I guess I'm telling complete strangers online I'm going to be a dad. All caps as I type this, I'm tearing up. I'm not crying. You're crying. Uh, thanks, guys, for listening. If anyone has any tips on how to be the greatest dad possible or how to prepare, I'm all ears.
00:42:04:00 - 00:42:10:00
Unknown
Thanks again, everyone. Oh, I live there. This is the best one. I mean, I probably should lead with it.
00:42:10:00 - 00:42:39:23
Unknown
We were like, we should leave with some of the customers, you know? But why not leave with something warm and fuzzy warming, heart warming, like. Yeah, that is really that's really great. I think like we've talked a lot about not just tonight, but I feel like it's kind of been a theme with like women having issues with their partners, like not showing up and, you know, being lazy or going out for like hours and hours on end and not pulling their way.
00:42:39:23 - 00:43:04:11
Unknown
And this is like just really refreshing to hear how excited this guy is. And, you know, he's asking for advice on how to be a great dad. I mean, I think he's I think he's already there. Right. Like, he's the enthusiasm and the the want, the desire to, like be a dad, especially coming from a place of like somebody that's actively not wanted kids in the past.
00:43:04:11 - 00:43:39:06
Unknown
Like, I think the most important thing he can do right now is just like, be there for his fiancee, girlfriend, girlfriend, you know, be there for his girlfriend, like, make plans for the future. Um, you know, I think. Do they live together? Are they going to get married? Like, how's it going to work when the baby comes? Just like setting up the environment for, you know, having the easiest possible time with the child and making sure the child is comfortable and got everything they need, like figuring out the you know, work situations, all of that stuff.
00:43:39:06 - 00:44:12:05
Unknown
But I mean, it sounds like he's going to be a great dad, like and I think this kid's going to be really lucky if he keeps that. He keeps that same energy that he has now, Like when the kid comes, like he's got nothing to worry about. Yeah. Um, so, yeah, very heartwarming. And I would say, just to answer his question, any tips on how to be the greatest dad possible or how to prepare?
00:44:12:06 - 00:44:38:05
Unknown
I think that at least for me, the way I look at it is you guys are going to hear me say this a lot of so many times to Jim and other people. But I you know, people people want to know what it's like to be a dad. And I compare it to being a college athlete and it's basically like having two jobs.
00:44:38:05 - 00:45:05:21
Unknown
So you have your your day job school that you have to do, and then you've got your other job playing the sport that you really love to do. School sucks because it's school and you just someone's making you do it. But playing the sport sometimes sucks a lot because it is just hard. It's like it's just brutal. Like there's pain or suffering, there's bleeding, there's like sweat.
00:45:05:21 - 00:45:35:20
Unknown
It's just it's a lot. But you're never in this moment where you're like, questions. They never Some people don't love and they want out. But most people who who play college sports are like, There's nothing else I'd rather do. And I think it's the same way with raising a kid. Like it's painful. There's like plenty of, like, just dead ends, wrong turns, rejection, you know, confusion.
00:45:35:22 - 00:45:59:10
Unknown
And at the end of the day, like, what would I rather be doing? Oh, do I want to go back to, like, you know, clubbing and, you know, whatever, Like, it's just it just doesn't compare. It's it's it's a little crazy to think like, man, I put this off so long, right? So what I would say is to be the best dad possible, the greatest that possible.
00:45:59:10 - 00:46:35:09
Unknown
You need to approach every moment with a certain level of energy that is essentially like I am willing to do literally whatever it takes to get the job done. Like and I'm going to do it with enthusiasm. I'm going to do it with creativity. I'm going to I'm going to just add in whatever someone tells me I should expect to go wrong.
00:46:35:11 - 00:47:00:15
Unknown
If I if it's if there's a possibility that it can go exactly the way I want it to go, then I'm going to pray that God delivers the best outcome for me, regardless of what happens for everyone else. I'm going to. I'm asking for what's best for me and my family and I'm showing up and and I'm never going to put your phone away.
00:47:00:17 - 00:47:24:12
Unknown
Like, put your phone away. Um, if you're feeding your child late at night, if you know, if you're playing with him or her, the phone doesn't need to be there. Give all of your attention. I mean, we're talking about, you know, a very, very short period of time in your life. Just think about how fast five years has gone by in your life.
00:47:24:14 - 00:47:46:12
Unknown
You know, you think about it, it's like you can't even remember what movie you watched, like in like 2020, right? Big name. Name. Like two movies you watched in 2020. You can't like it just blows by. So one day we're finding out about Kobe, the next day we're celebrating, you know, being free, kind of. And then then the next day we've forgotten all about it.
00:47:46:13 - 00:48:20:02
Unknown
Meanwhile, people still dying of COVID like it is crazy. So so like, have some perspective over like will the importance of being in the moment, but also not letting the the intensity of the moment overcome you, overcome you with like, you know, anger and frustration and, you know, regret and blame and all these like, ugly emotions that can easily up when like things just aren't going your way and you're feeling like, well, maybe my partner, if she were better or what?
00:48:20:02 - 00:48:43:19
Unknown
Or he were, you know, she were better. Yeah, if she were better than, you know, maybe things would be different. Leave all that aside and focus on what can I do to to be to be better. And a lot of times asking that question is just as simple as just like watching your child and just paying attention to what your child is indicating to you, what he or she needs.
00:48:43:19 - 00:49:22:08
Unknown
It's very I think it's very straightforward. But, you know, the confusion, I think, comes when your expectations for how you think it's going to go clash with the reality. And and if it turns out that you thought you were going to get the baby to sleep in 30 minutes, but it took an hour and 30 minutes now that's a thing that you remember and you're like and it's just how it's going to be forever.
00:49:22:08 - 00:49:50:07
Unknown
No, nothing that you experience will be like that forever. So I show up with a by any means necessary mentality, a whatever it takes mentality, and you will dominate. Because I'm going to tell you, 90 plus percent of the other parents out there are not thinking about like that. They're thinking about what they have to still have to do.
00:49:50:09 - 00:50:12:21
Unknown
This thing that they're doing is keeping them from and and and if you really take perspective, keep perspective in mind. You understand that most of the task that we think is going to take us forever to do it just don't like just build them up into like some like horrible thing in our minds when, you know, like, oh, how long is it going?
00:50:12:23 - 00:50:34:08
Unknown
Me to edit This video is going to be forever. No, it's going to take like 2 hours maybe. Yeah, but time is spent procrastinating a lot of the time than actually just doing it today. Yeah. So it's sort of like, don't, don't, don't let your baby take the blame for your unwarranted, like, fears and worries around not having enough time to do what you need to do.
00:50:34:13 - 00:51:02:18
Unknown
You'll have time to sleep. You only need 3 hours anyway. All right. So, you know, you don't you only need all the science that says everyone needs 8 hours of sleep, two to, like, exist. It's not true. Yeah, but 3 hours is. I need more than 3 hours of sleep. Have you. Have you noticed that? That people continue to live after their babies don't sleep like no one's dropping dead?
00:51:02:18 - 00:51:20:18
Unknown
Like, show me the articles where someone is dropping dead from, like, sleep deprivation. I mean, I know you can, like, in a car accident or whatever, but like, like, but, but when they when they talk about the accident, they're not, like, linking it to the baby, you know? Anyway, all right, So I'm sorry. It's kind of a tangent there.
00:51:20:20 - 00:51:22:16
Unknown
Sorry. Yeah.
00:51:22:16 - 00:51:55:13
Unknown
Uh, yeah, Uh, yeah. Just keep. Keep asking questions. Be be, be curious, be, be flexible, be adaptable. Like, don't act as if you know everything because you know, one day you know it, and then the next day it's and whatever you knew yesterday doesn't matter anymore. And just be happy about that because that means your kid's brain is developing and like, that's exciting.
00:51:55:15 - 00:52:20:15
Unknown
Like, you got to you have to show up and be creative. I got to outsmart a one year old and trick this kid into one to sit in this chair like, How can I do it? It's fun. Turn to a game. Turn into a game. Anyway, um, any thoughts from from you in your last thoughts? Any parting shots to this awesome dad to be?
00:52:20:17 - 00:52:35:19
Unknown
No, I think he's got it. I really think he's got it. I think wanting it and yeah, like you said, like being prepared to do whatever it takes is I mean, that's it really. If you've got that then you sort it.
00:52:35:19 - 00:52:45:14
Unknown
Okay. We have another story with that is our last one, right? We can make it our last. I promise. Six. So we can do this one quickly, and then the next six.
00:52:45:16 - 00:52:53:12
Unknown
Nope. That's five. Oh, okay. Yeah, we're. We're taking our sweet time, but. Yeah, yeah, I will speed this one up.
00:52:53:12 - 00:53:06:22
Unknown
Okay. Troubles with my wife. Okay, so a different perspective is this is a husband. Okay. Hello? This is going to be pretty personal, so I would delete it within the next few hours. I'm having a hard time with my wife.
00:53:06:22 - 00:53:24:00
Unknown
I'm the husband. She only breastfeeds. I need advice on how to be a better husband and dad. I work 40 hours a week, so my wife is with the baby most of the week. A six week old hardly sleeps and is colicky. A schedule is that I stay at 5 hours and then she stays at 5 hours at night.
00:53:24:02 - 00:53:39:18
Unknown
I give her a bottle once during these 5 hours on Saturday is a trauma. Best to clean the house for her. Then take the baby. When I'm done, I feel like I'm really trying my best. I even asked her yesterday if I'm doing a good job and she says yes today. She said I'm not doing a good job.
00:53:39:18 - 00:53:55:11
Unknown
And once I go back to her country to get help from her family with the baby, she's desperate and has no family here. She said that if she would have known it would have been like this, she wouldn't have had a baby with me. That broke my heart. She says she doesn't want to have to tell me what to do, and I need to act on things.
00:53:55:16 - 00:54:14:23
Unknown
I feel like that's what I've been doing. Last night, she was feeling like her mastitis was coming on, so she wanted to breastfeed through the night. I'm a heavy sleeper and didn't wake up. I asked her why she didn't white me and so she hates telling me what to do and that I need to figure things out. Parenting and being a spouse is very hard to do.
00:54:14:23 - 00:54:30:16
Unknown
Things get better when the baby gets older. I want to help. I do admit that I'm a little slow as certain things like realizing things. I hate that about myself. She doesn't take It'll be okay or I'm sorry. Well, at all. She hates it anyway. Thanks for listening.
00:54:30:16 - 00:54:38:04
Unknown
Yeah, it sounds like this guy is is trying, but,
00:54:38:04 - 00:54:52:23
Unknown
you know, maybe just she's obviously not getting what she wants out of him. And it doesn't seem like she's really telling what she wants. It also seems like she's kind of struggling.
00:54:53:01 - 00:55:31:14
Unknown
You know, it seems like she doesn't have any family around and that she's just kind of struggling with being a new mom and the breastfeeding and mastitis, which is horrible, by the way. It's incredibly painful and very stressful. And it's easy to kind of get get worked up about it and get you know, I can understand why she's in a bad place, but it sounds like they just really need to have about a conversation, you know, like, I don't know if they're really communicating very well about this.
00:55:31:16 - 00:55:55:08
Unknown
Maybe they need to see a therapist. Um, I'm not sure if having I think people a lot of the time think like, oh, everything would be so much better if my family was around. I don't know if that's if that's always the case. I mean, like, we don't have family around and I don't think it's, you know, sometimes I think it's for the best, honestly.
00:55:55:11 - 00:55:56:21
Unknown
Like
00:55:56:21 - 00:56:28:23
Unknown
yeah I mean well, family around is not going to help the fact that the baby doesn't go to sleep. So my wife is upset because I mean, yeah, the mastitis pain, that's a problem. There's like solutions for that. But you know, they're not I mean, how well they work, I don't know. But when it comes to the baby not sleeping, that just seems to be the the biggest problem outside of the fact that she just doesn't really seem to like him that much.
00:56:28:23 - 00:56:52:18
Unknown
Just from what I from what I hear. And it seems like he doesn't like himself very much. Like when I hear, uh, what did he say? Uh, yeah, I want to help. I do admit that I'm a little slow with certain things, like realizing things. I hate that about myself. I will never say I hate anything about myself.
00:56:52:18 - 00:57:13:01
Unknown
The first things I want to change. Yeah, there's lots of stuff I want to change. But I don't hate anything about myself. I love myself. So this is a guy who doesn't love himself the way he should. And he's with a person who doesn't really like him very much. And you know, I'm not trying to like this is not I'm not joking like like, not like this is real.
00:57:13:01 - 00:57:34:16
Unknown
Like this is this is real. This happens all the time. And I think the best thing for this guy to do is is to start working on loving himself. So here's here's a book for any of you out here who are listening to this and are like feeling like you kind of relate to this guy. There's a book, it's called Love Yourself.
00:57:34:18 - 00:58:02:01
Unknown
Like your life depends on it or love yourself as if your life depends on it. This book takes like literally an hour and a half to read, and it's fantastic because it it really just helps you to think about, you know, what comes out of your mouth, how you let people treat you. And and it's just a you know, so you always ask yourself the question of if I truly and deeply loved myself, would I complete the sentence?
00:58:02:03 - 00:58:24:14
Unknown
Would I let this person talk to me like this? Would I say something like this about myself? Would I do this? Would I do that? Whatever. Right. If I truly and deeply love myself, would I X And and so start by loving yourself. So by teaching yourself to love yourself, it's hard. But if you really, like kind of zero in with a strategy, you can do that.
00:58:24:16 - 00:58:42:15
Unknown
I talked about exercising before, start exercising, start working out. You start getting some muscles, you start looking better, you start liking the way you look. And guess what? Your wife started liking you, liking you more too. It's people like you more when you like you more, period. If you don't like you, people don't like you and then they start treating you however they want to treat you.
00:58:42:15 - 00:59:03:10
Unknown
And that's what's happening here. And then the part about the baby, I mean, eventually the baby's going to sleep. But if you want like some tips on how to get your baby sleep, check out the video linked right here. I'm in the video right here in the upper right hand corner. And watch this video. And it talks about all the ways that we we use to help our baby get to sleep.
00:59:03:10 - 00:59:26:21
Unknown
And I'll just give you a quick preview of it. Some of you might not like this, but some of you will. One, we use this this resource called Moms on Call. There will be a link to that in the description. Another thing we use was what's it called? The little Wendy. Wendy, Wendy gasps maybe by freak. Yeah, we use that.
00:59:26:21 - 00:59:49:03
Unknown
So it helps babies like pass gas also in our in our baby's case grossness alert it helped him just get poop out like we literally had him you know, there was a funnel that just helped poop come out of his, you know, and you stand back on unbelievable amounts of poop and you want to know like, it's like, Oh, the baby just keeps crying.
00:59:49:03 - 01:00:21:12
Unknown
I don't understand why maybe the baby needs to poop and maybe you need to help the baby poop. And I'm just saying. So the Winnie gas parser also is a poop parser. Um, and then, then the last one, it's like, yeah, you know, try a prayer practice, right? Try getting into a habit of of talking to God about your problems because, you know, there are, there are things that that are happening behind the scenes that you have no control or power over and, and you need help.
01:00:21:12 - 01:00:35:14
Unknown
And if you're over here just trying to do it your own, like winging it, good luck. I'm not saying you can't do it, but good luck to you. So, uh, that's my thoughts on that. Yeah. Yeah, I kept that brief. Right. Look at that.
01:00:35:14 - 01:00:43:23
Unknown
Yeah, that's. That's pretty good. Brief ish for me. Pretty brief. Yeah. Okay, we've got one more.
01:00:44:01 - 01:01:13:04
Unknown
That one more. I can hear the cries. I can hear the sadness. Everyone is so sad. It's almost over. It's almost over. Okay, this one's one. This is one, uh, one of yours. I'll read it, though. Okay. I'm trying to remember which one it is. Well, you don't have to try to remember, because I'm. I'm about to tell me.
01:01:13:06 - 01:01:25:10
Unknown
I'm going to tell you, unless I just, you know insert something else because I feel like in certain things. Okay. Oh, um,
01:01:25:10 - 01:01:46:14
Unknown
spouse's hobby. Too much. Spouse's hobby. Too much. Mm. My husband has an athletic hobby he really enjoys. He will often leave for up to 5 hours at a time and then later will be too tired for him family.
01:01:46:19 - 01:02:08:06
Unknown
I think she meant to say for his family, that's just me and our child. He's also in a bad career situation in this hobby takes a lot of time away from trying to improve that. In the meantime, I'm making twice as much keeping us afloat and taking care of our house. Slash young child while he is off doing his thing.
01:02:08:08 - 01:02:31:01
Unknown
I have hobbies that are very important to me too. I usually wait until our son is in bed. There are some fun things I'd love to do, but there's no time in. Our child needs a lot of attention at this age where people's thoughts on this situation. He says he needs the hobby for his mental health. And the same goes for the naps and or resting while I'm taking care of stuff.
01:02:31:03 - 01:02:43:22
Unknown
He often makes snide comments when I ask him to do things. You mean to say to do stuff as you said? Anyway, when I ask him to do stuff like I never let him just relax, I'm exhausted.
01:02:43:22 - 01:02:50:01
Unknown
Okay. I'm going to go first on this one, if you don't mind, for from.
01:02:50:01 - 01:02:52:14
Unknown
I wish she would tell us more.
01:02:52:16 - 01:03:20:03
Unknown
Yeah. What's the athletic hobby like? What does that. What? I think it's golf. Oh. Oh, that's something that would. I mean, that's like, time intensive, right? It could be any anything. I mean, my dad used to play basketball on the weekends and he'd play basketball for hours and he'd be gone on Saturdays, like for like five, 6 hours, because you've got to you've got to wait, get on the court.
01:03:20:05 - 01:03:44:05
Unknown
And then if you lose, you got to wait while other teams are playing to get back on the court. So, you know, it's time consuming. But I think, um, we just don't have enough information like, you know, how frequently is. She says he will often leave for up to 5 hours at a time. What is often me every week, once a week, maybe you think once a week or like often to me, I don't know.
01:03:44:05 - 01:04:03:01
Unknown
You know, what's often like to me often is like couples are really I don't know. I don't know what it means in the context of like being away for your athletic hobby. But like she says that she, you know, pursues her hobbies once the child is sleeping well, if he has an athletic hobby, like you really can't pursue that.
01:04:03:03 - 01:04:20:16
Unknown
Maybe he's going to football games or something. I mean, well, it seems like he's performing. He's playing and something I don't think he's watching. Like, I don't know if it's a hobby that I can't call. Like, I think watching is is you have to be active. If it's a hobby, you have to be like, like actually participating. Yeah, I think so.
01:04:20:18 - 01:04:39:10
Unknown
I don't know. I think you could tell. Like going to sporting game is my hobby. It's like going to movies is a hobby. Is it? I think so. I think it's an interest. I don't know if it's a hobby. I mean, maybe she shouldn't even call that a hobby in the first place because athletic hobby is just like he just it's like it's a sport.
01:04:39:14 - 01:05:03:04
Unknown
Like she's created, like, all the secrecy around this hobby. Yeah. Yeah. It's very. I'm confused, But I will say this, um, yeah, I think that this one seems like a little easy, right? Like, yeah, the child. Oh, wait a minute. Child is for two, nine years old. Did she say how old the child is? Oh, I assumed it was a baby.
01:05:03:06 - 01:05:32:17
Unknown
It's not a baby. It's not. It's not. It's not a baby. Like this is a a school aged child. We don't have enough information. I feel like I don't have enough information. Do you know what I mean? I'll let you go and I'll think about this book comes. I think it's like prioritization and balance, right? And like having a conversation about, okay, you want to do this, how, how, how can we how can we meet your needs?
01:05:32:17 - 01:05:50:23
Unknown
How can we meet my needs? How can we meet the needs of a kid? Like, can we can we figure out a solution where you do your hobby and have your time? I do my hobbies and have my time. We're making sure we're both spending time with our kid. I kid is getting what they need. Like, you know, I think that's the first step right?
01:05:50:23 - 01:06:15:03
Unknown
Like, and if he needs to cut back from 5 to 6 hours at a time, which does sound like a lot, you know, I think that's probably a reasonable request if he's not really spending that much time with his kids or is there a way to, like, incorporate the kid into the hobby? I mean, it's kind of hard because we don't know what it is, but, you know, if it's playing basketball or something like, does the kid have any interest in that?
01:06:15:03 - 01:06:36:05
Unknown
If not like, is there another sport that he could play with the kid? Is this something they could do together as a family? Like, are you offsetting the time that you're spending doing your thing with planning a fun day out to the zoo, something like that with your family? You know, So I think there's ways to like for everyone to get what they want.
01:06:36:07 - 01:07:04:13
Unknown
But it sounds like he's she thinks he's been a little selfish. Um, and just taking this time without really thinking about ways to include the family or to give her what she wants or the kid with what. They want to. Yeah, yeah. This is, this is a tough one for me because, you know, they both work. She makes twice as much as him and, and she says, you know, keeping us afloat.
01:07:04:15 - 01:07:37:23
Unknown
Um but if he's working a job that was she says a bad career situation and it's impacting his mental health. Uh, you know, I'm, I'm not saying I don't again, I don't know how often he's going to play his mystery sport or possibly watch the sport. Maybe the hobby is like he's actually like crafting the basketballs. He's like creating them in a factory somewhere.
01:07:37:23 - 01:08:21:00
Unknown
And, um, but I think it's a tough one because this guy seems to be, um, using this time not for typical hobby reasons. It's like he's using this time to, like, keep from losing it. And if he's seen, if the man is saying that this is necessary for his mental health, what is he not saying is what I'm thinking.
01:08:21:02 - 01:08:40:13
Unknown
What is what is he not saying? Because we know he's making she's making twice as much as him. They're both working, but she makes twice as much. And he clearly hates what he's doing. And it seems like he doesn't have a whole lot of options right now. Or maybe he's just not like thinking about his options very well, possibly because he's not in a good mental health state.
01:08:40:15 - 01:09:07:23
Unknown
But for to say I need this for my mental health tells me that he's probably got some real issues and and I guess, you know, the question is, well what is it that like like you say, like compromise? I think there are opportunities for compromise. I mentioned that my dad used to go play basketball on Saturdays. I would have loved it if he took me at an earlier age.
01:09:08:03 - 01:09:34:00
Unknown
And on top of that, I would have loved it if he actually showed me how to play basketball. Like while we were just like, waiting. Right? We're just waiting. Show me how to dribble the ball, you know, shoot the ball or whatever. Um, and maybe his kids aren't interested. Interested in sport. It's possible, too. Or maybe the kid is literally for and a little too young to go because, like, once you're playing, like, who's watching the kid?
01:09:34:02 - 01:09:59:09
Unknown
But I think this one, this one seems like super easy and it's like this guy has a bomb or whatever, but it also doesn't because I think there's there's a lot of people all over the world, you know, wealthy countries, not as wealthy countries or whatever, who, you know, are doing what they have to do to to live.
01:09:59:11 - 01:10:45:01
Unknown
And sometimes what they have to do is like soul, soul, soul, soul crushing that they need an escape. And in the case of a guy who's turning to playing a sport as opposed to getting wasted drinking, doing drugs, you know, I'm I'm hesitant to be like, this guy's a bomb. I just think that there's probably an opportunity for a little bit more creativity in helping him find a career path that he actually enjoys, maybe something related to his hobbies, maybe, you know, and he might he might need some type of, you know, which would probably further strain their finances.
01:10:45:01 - 01:11:09:12
Unknown
But I I'm, you know, and maybe maybe, maybe it's just like cutting it down a little bit. So if it is golf, maybe should just go like nine holes instead of 18. Or maybe you can play mini golf like we did yesterday. It took it wasn't very long and it didn't take long for me to make short work.
01:11:09:14 - 01:11:46:10
Unknown
But this one right here, who has golfing in our jeans in second place, just came in second place. I was very proud of my efforts. I was too. Anyway, yeah, I think this I think this is this is a really tough one. And we we don't have nearly enough information and and it sounds like she's mostly frustrated with, um, you know, just him not having time for a family.
01:11:46:10 - 01:12:11:21
Unknown
And it's like the child needs a lot of attention at this age. So he's probably this kid's probably like, four. Yeah, he's probably four. So, I don't know, uh, naps and or resting. Yeah, just probably seeing that, you know, I always wonder, like, how, how, how often are the people who are saying they're exhausted and they're having all these like issues?
01:12:11:23 - 01:12:42:18
Unknown
How often do they articulate these things exactly the way they articulate it on Reddit? Maybe they show the Reddit post, maybe this and the Reddit post. No, no, I don't do that. Don't do it. No, I'm saying maybe that's what they do though. I don't know. I mean, that's an emotional terrorist. If you're if if if you would a I mean I mean that's like that's a next level.
01:12:42:18 - 01:13:04:22
Unknown
Like like mine. I'm not going to say the word, but you'll know what I'm thinking. Yeah. If you're writing a you know, you can't like just say like what's wrong, you know, to your spouse and then you're just online, you're writing up what, what, what your true thoughts are, and then you get a bunch of comments and everybody's like, horrible.
01:13:04:22 - 01:13:27:05
Unknown
And your your thoughts also are like, you know, slanted towards, you know, your your side of the story, right? Like, we don't know his side of the story at all. Um, we don't, we, we don't know enough, but and then everyone's just like, oh, this guy's terrible. And then you're like, Here, look, this is what I wrote. This is what people are saying.
01:13:27:08 - 01:14:16:08
Unknown
How many people do that, though? I know people do. I believe people do it. I truly do. I truly. And I think that the laziest form of of of trying to make your point is looking for a cosigner. Or like if you can't if you cannot stitch together like an argument or a thought about like, what about what it is that you're feeling and you are leveraging other people's viewpoints to like bolster like your opinion and your and you're kind of just bringing that to that other person without them, you know, even knowing that you're going to do that, that that's, that's lazy, that's super disrespectful.
01:14:16:09 - 01:14:44:19
Unknown
I mean, if anything, if you want to make it fun, well, let's both craft a stupid thing on Reddit and then like, see, read it all and see and see what we get. But like, let's make it fair if you're going to if we're gonna bring in Cosigners. I mean, if you want to argue a point, if you have an issue, I think you just like it's just better to just like, just be open up front, you know, like just But people do it all the time.
01:14:44:21 - 01:15:10:23
Unknown
Another, another thing I'm sorry, we're going to say nothing. Nothing. Another thing that people say or do a lot of is it's like when they have an issue, they'll point out how someone else is acting or what someone else is doing as a way to, uh, get someone to change the person that they want, to change their behavior as a way to, like, prompt that or spur some, some change.
01:15:10:23 - 01:15:41:23
Unknown
And I think that's like for form as well. Um, leave everyone else out of it. Why can't you do this like so and so does the, uh. Come on, Come on. Now. We know. Mm. Do better than you can do better than that. It's it's. It's lazy, it's lazy. It's not effective. Um, but mostly it's lazy. We can do better now.
01:15:42:01 - 01:15:44:03
Unknown
Anyway. Uh,
01:15:44:03 - 01:16:20:12
Unknown
that's it. So we go, uh, if you've watched this long. Thank you so much. I why not just do a little bonus and subscribe if you haven't subscribed? Uh, yeah. Watch another, watch another video. We appreciate anything. Any time that you give us any comments. Comments? We want the comments. Yeah, we, we it we need to remind people to comment more often earlier than what we mentioned earlier, but we should like remind them like every story that's true.
01:16:20:18 - 01:16:48:12
Unknown
Look at you guys you're getting are editing notes live anyway. Yeah. Uh, we know how to write so you end how do you really end? How do you end when it when it seems like it should go on forever? Here's how, here's how we can do it. It is. 10:32 p.m.. Our time is past my bedtime. We are sleepy, retired.
01:16:48:13 - 01:17:09:10
Unknown
That light in our eyes. It's bright and it's kind of hurting my eyes a little. Yes, Yes. It's very it's making me want to close my eyes. But this is this is show business, you know? But. But like. But as long as the words we were saying weren't making you want to close your eyes, then we do good.
01:17:09:12 - 01:17:39:03
Unknown
We're happy. Okay. All right, Channel four now, Deuces piece, cut and tell you what now so I can be a little tired. Yeah.