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Main Idea:
Balancing authenticity and well-being in our lives to enhance personal growth, build stronger connections, and navigate challenges with grace and resilience.
Summary of the Show:
In this episode, George B. Thomas and Liz Moorehead discuss embracing humanity by balancing authenticity and well-being. George shares his insights on openness about feelings and experiences, emphasizing the significance of trusted relationships for sharing vulnerabilities. They explore how showing vulnerability fosters genuine connections, builds emotional resilience, and helps develop a positive inner environment. The conversation covers practical strategies for maintaining authenticity, practicing self-compassion, and ensuring holistic well-being. They also highlight the role of emotional intelligence and self-acceptance in enhancing personal and professional relationships.
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Quotes:
- “Embracing vulnerability allows for genuine connection. It builds a sense of community. It helps you develop emotional resilience by facing and sharing your true self, your whole ass human, which essentially you're showing up as you.” - George B. Thomas
- “Self-compassion, positive self-talk, and vulnerability create a positive and loving environment within ourselves, radiating outward to those around us.” - George B. Thomas
- “Our humanity begins as a collective. The first step is decentering the me and tapping into the we, which unlocks truly special things.” - Liz Moorehead
- “It's okay to struggle with this. We all have moments of doubt and fear. The key is not to be perfect but to be persistent in our efforts to connect with our humanity.” - George B. Thomas
Scriptures:
- Psalms 46:10: "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
- Proverbs 16:3: "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans."
- James 4:6: "But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’"
- Philippians 4:6-7: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
- Proverbs 11:2: "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."
Reflective Questions:
- Self-Assessment: How do you balance authenticity and well-being in your life? Are there areas where you struggle to be completely honest with yourself or others?
- Emotional Awareness: How can you practice self-compassion and positive self-talk? What impact does this have on your daily life and relationships?
- Support Systems: Who are the people in your life that you can share your vulnerabilities with? How can you strengthen these trusted relationships?
- Authenticity: How can you show up more authentically in your personal and professional life without fear of judgment?
- Emotional Intelligence: What steps can you take to improve your emotional intelligence and better understand and manage your emotions?
Strategies for Balancing Authenticity and Well-Being:
- Regular Self-Reflection: Set aside time each day for self-reflection to evaluate your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Acknowledge moments of inauthenticity and strive to correct them.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. Embrace your imperfections and celebrate your strengths.
- Seek Support: Engage with trusted friends, family, or professionals to share your vulnerabilities and seek guidance.
- Cultivate Emotional Intelligence: Enhance your emotional intelligence through mindfulness, empathy, and effective communication. Use mindfulness techniques to stay aware of your emotions.
- Build Positive Habits: Incorporate healthy habits into your daily routine, such as regular exercise, adequate sleep, and nutritious eating, to support your physical and mental well-being.
- Set Realistic Expectations: Understand perfection is unattainable and focus on progress instead. Set realistic goals and appreciate your efforts and achievements.
This episode encourages listeners to embrace their humanity by balancing authenticity and well-being. By practicing self-compassion, seeking support, and cultivating emotional intelligence, individuals can navigate challenges with resilience and build stronger connections. The conversation emphasizes the importance of continuous growth, self-reflection, and a positive inner environment that radiates outward, contributing to a more compassionate and connected human experience.
Creators & Guests
What is Beyond Your Default?
What Is Beyond Your Default? "Everyone keeps telling me I should be happy, but I'm not." “I feel stuck.” “I have a calling, but where do I start?"
Right now, you have a choice. You can continue living within your default norms, playing it safe, clocking in and out every day, and scraping by to achieve what's supposed to make you happy hopefully. Or you can choose to accept the challenge of living beyond your default. Stop wishing to live your "best life” and start living your best life. Success leaves clues. And they're waiting for you to discover them.
The real deal, Holyfield, is that you have to be open about your feelings and experiences. And the best part of this is, like, be open with your feelings and experiences with trusted friends or family. Have a space and a place to share your vulnerabilities because sharing your feelings and experiences and sharing your vulnerabilities can help you realize that and this is so important. And I think it ties into that we all wanna belong. But it can lean into, like, helping you realize that you're not alone in your struggles.
George B. Thomas:And again, because you enable this, it builds that better connection with others. Embracing vulnerability allows for genuine connection. It builds a sense of community. It helps you develop emotional resilience by facing and sharing your true self, your whole ass human, which essentially you're showing up as you. You're showing up as a better human.
George B. Thomas:You're becoming a better human along the way. And by embracing these three best practices, we're literally laying a solid foundation for our journey towards self acceptance and our humanity. It's through self compassion, positive self talk, and vulnerability that we can create this environment within ourselves that is not toxic, not corrosive, but positive and loving. And because of that, it radiates outward towards those around us.
Liz Moorehead:Welcome back to Beyond Your Default. I'm Liz Warhead. And as always, I'm joined by the one and only George b Thomas, but I'm gonna be honest, listeners, feeling a little nervous. Feeling a little nervous because right before you hit record, I did a quick check-in. You know?
Liz Moorehead:Hey. Are you excited about this episode? What do you think? Because we do a lot of prep that goes into this.
George B. Thomas:Yeah. And
Liz Moorehead:you're like, it's gonna be fun. It's gonna be interesting. It's going to be a good time. Yeah. Lucy.
Liz Moorehead:Hi, George.
George B. Thomas:Hello, Liz. How are you doing?
Liz Moorehead:Well, before we get into how, apparently, you're either going to enlighten me or torment me or I guess a little column a, a little column b this week. Highlights and lowlights. What you got? How was weekend?
George B. Thomas:Weekend was interesting. I did a good amount of work. I also allowed my self time to play. And when I say play, I really mean just allow my brain to think. I was thinking about the beyond your default book this weekend and kind of messing around with some stuff and some ideas, and I think about the superhuman framework.
George B. Thomas:And I can only do those things when I'm able to kinda set, you know, the George b Thomas and the sidekick strategy stuff to the side and really And
Liz Moorehead:sidekick strategies being your agency.
George B. Thomas:Yeah. Yeah. Being the agency, we help people with sales marketing service, you know, HubSpot implementation, CRM, nerdy stuff like that. But when I can set the speaking and MC ing and the agency stuff aside and really just reflect on what I'm trying to do with this podcast and the future book. And that was it was very relaxing and really tapping into the human side of who I am and what I wanna do on this planet.
Liz Moorehead:Did you have a low light or we're just sticking with the highlight this week?
George B. Thomas:Low light for me is actual a possible future highlight. Sometimes in life, we think that we're doing good and hitting on all cylinders. And then we have a moment in time where one of those cylinders blows a gasket, and we get insight into a place in our life where we might wanna focus more and we might wanna try to fix and we might try to be better. That's about as deep as I'm gonna go in that, but I had a moment this weekend where I was like, I can really do better with that. But again, low light, but potential success in highlight in the future because of paying attention to the engine and seeing this here, this little piece needs a tune up, then, yeah, it becomes an opportunity instead of something that, like, makes us stop dead on the side of the road.
Liz Moorehead:Well, my highlight from the weekend is unlike last week where my biggest highlight was I saw no one. I was an antisocial potato. I did nothing. The only people who saw me were the people at Fresh Market. This week, I felt like I struck a really good balance between me time and we time.
Liz Moorehead:In fact, what was interesting is I spent most of my time actually hanging out with one very specific friend of mine, a girl who is just this incredible musician. She looks like this punk rock, like, whatever. Like, yeah. And she has the voice of a Disney princess.
George B. Thomas:Oh, nice.
Liz Moorehead:Oh my gosh. So we hung out this past weekend, and it was great because I've always known her, but we didn't get to spend a ton of time together, and it was just totally driven by conversation. Nobody was picking up their phones except to say, oh my gosh. You would love this album. Let me send it to you.
Liz Moorehead:Oh my gosh. You need to know this book. Oh my gosh. Let me order it. And it was just such a beautiful and organic experience.
Liz Moorehead:And then I capped off the weekend by watching her do a live show at this local wine bar, and it was just so beautiful. It was just really nice. I don't know. I I just I remember sitting there, like, my friends are so stinking talented. But I also had the me time.
Liz Moorehead:Right? And it was interesting. I was spending a lot of time doing some different beyond your default work this weekend. And I had that same feeling of, oh, this is the feel good human stuff. This is the stuff that makes makes you feel, like, really kinda warm and happy inside.
Liz Moorehead:You know? It it's the stuff where it's, like, during the week, it's really easy for me to deprioritize it in terms of, like, there are other revenue producing activities I could be doing.
George B. Thomas:Yep.
Liz Moorehead:And but then when I sit down and I do the work and I create the space for it, it's like, this extra time is worth doing that. I was going through and it was really unsexy work. Basically, I was going through, what, 40 46 plus episodes of quotes and trying to organize them. Because when I first exported them, I didn't label any of the episodes like an idiot. So I've been going back and trying to organize it because otherwise, you can't use them.
Liz Moorehead:You have no idea what to link them to. So I spent, like, hours doing that, and it was just but at the I was having the best time. Like, this felt so good. And so it was just really nice. I felt like I had that perfect dual focus of even whether I was with me or I was with we.
Liz Moorehead:It was all fill your cup stuff. So I'm getting to Monday morning, and even though I was kinda stacked, plus I had some other work I had to do this weekend, like, actual work, I didn't feel like I missed my weekend.
George B. Thomas:Right.
Liz Moorehead:And then I started looking back, George, And I remember, like, this time 2 years ago, I always felt like I needed a weekend for my weekend.
George B. Thomas:Yeah.
Liz Moorehead:And between the work work that we're doing and this work that we're doing and just kind of regrounding myself I can't remember the last time I said that, and that felt really good.
George B. Thomas:Yeah. That's important to note.
Liz Moorehead:Low light. I hit my funny bone and that ish ain't funny.
George B. Thomas:Oh, yeah.
Liz Moorehead:I forgot how that I got how not funny that is.
George B. Thomas:I hate that.
Liz Moorehead:I know it's a small thing, but I was so angry.
George B. Thomas:Yeah. Like, the one place you don't wanna bump and that's it.
Liz Moorehead:And they call it funny. Who is the butthead
George B. Thomas:Yeah.
Liz Moorehead:Who was on the branding committee
George B. Thomas:Yeah.
Liz Moorehead:For that?
George B. Thomas:I don't know. Wrong, but We need to figure that out. Send them a strongly written note.
Liz Moorehead:After we we get into today's topic that you are apparently, there's a joyride in store for me. We're talking about another pillar this week of the superhuman framework. Yeah.
George B. Thomas:And it's By the way, which, by the way, I think it's a joyride for me as well and a joyride for the listeners. And part of my giving you a hard time before we hit the record button was I'm excited because I've said for years years years, like, literally 10 to 12 years, be a happy, helpful, humble human.
Liz Moorehead:Mhmm.
George B. Thomas:On our other podcast, Hub Heroes, I literally do a Human. Like, sound effect. Right? And so, having this ability to really unpack, like, the words around what I mean and my brain when I say human or better human, good human, like, humanity in a, you know, squared hide whatever. Like, that's what I'm excited about today.
George B. Thomas:That's the journey.
Liz Moorehead:This is the crossover episode I've been waiting for. You
George B. Thomas:know? Yeah.
Liz Moorehead:Because for those who do not listen to our other podcast or maybe your familiarity with George b Thomas has only been through this doorway, you have been waving the humanity flag
George B. Thomas:Yeah.
Liz Moorehead:Forever and not as some sort of gimmick. In fact, your whole ethos and philosophy in the way you approach sales and marketing is 3 words. Is it 3 or 4? 4. It's all about the humans.
Liz Moorehead:So 5.
George B. Thomas:5.
Liz Moorehead:This is why I'm paid as a writer, guys, and not a mathematician.
George B. Thomas:The thing is you can simplify that is I try to do everything around business, sales, marketing, service being human centric. Yep. Like, human focused. So yeah. So this is this is fun to get, like, the personal vibes, feels, narrative around where that side of it comes from.
Liz Moorehead:Well, yeah. Let's start digging into it because unsurprisingly, of course, humanity became one of the pillars of the superhuman framework, which includes 10 pillars that help you build your most authentic version of what it means to live a life beyond your default. Right? Yeah. Because the whole idea of the superhuman framework is that it provides a blueprint.
Liz Moorehead:It provides an architecture, but it is an up to us as individuals, as humans
George B. Thomas:Yes.
Liz Moorehead:To personalize that framework, to personalize that architecture, to reimagine how that expresses itself across our life. And we've actually talked about humanity at least in some capacity before. One of our earliest episodes was about, you're just a human. You gotta be kind to yourself on this journey.
George B. Thomas:Yep.
Liz Moorehead:But today, we are digging straight into it. So when we say humanity, George, in the context of the superhuman framework, you know, what does that even mean? What what is humanity? Which I know is just like a nice simple softball question.
George B. Thomas:Yeah.
Liz Moorehead:Not existential at all.
George B. Thomas:Yeah. It's just a tiny little thing.
Liz Moorehead:But Just define humanity. Yeah.
George B. Thomas:What what is the world? So, you know, it's funny, Liz, because when I think about what it means to truly embrace humanity, and when I say that, what I mean is to be the best human that we can be, a few core principles come to mind, and one of the things I would challenge the listeners is to write down words that stand out to them so that they can go back and start to, like, unpack what they mean in their lives. And I'll also give the listeners fair warning that I'm gonna just ask some random questions along the way that I want you to write down and ponder over the next week or a couple weeks as you think about your humanity and being a good human and what that means on this journey beyond a life, beyond your default type thing. So a couple of principles. 1st, there's compassion and empathy.
George B. Thomas:These these are hot buttons for me. Compassion is the heartfelt desire that you should have to help others who, might be suffering. Suffering could be everything from, like, really suffering or just simply having a hard time. For us, it involves recognizing when somebody is in pain and and feeling a genuine, I'm gonna use that word, genuine impulse to help that person. For me, this ties back to what I've said in historical podcast of It's because of this that I'm the hand up guy.
George B. Thomas:Like, I'm trying to give people a hand up. I'm compassion. I'm empathetic. I'm paying attention to where they're at, and I'm having a belief in where they can actually go. This emotional response that we could and should have often leads to actions that are providing comfort, support, and relief.
George B. Thomas:Right? So I want you to think about compassion and empathy equals comfort, support, and relief when it comes to this idea of humanity and being a good human. Listeners, I have to ask you. What was the last act of compassion that you witnessed, and how did it impact you or somebody in your life? Right?
George B. Thomas:So what do you see this in your life? And if so, when was the last time you've actually seen it? Mahatma Gandhi once said the best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others. You can only lose yourself in the service of others if you're being compassionate, empathetic. The Bible even says in Ephesians 432, be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you.
George B. Thomas:So, like, empathy, like, and compassion are these key pieces, which, by the way, that we're talking about compassion there. Empathy, when we think about that, is the ability to, like, understand and share another person's feelings. Again, on this podcast, I've talked about, you know, walking a mile in their moccasins or their shoes. It it goes beyond this idea of sympathy by allowing you to put yourself in someone else's shoes experiencing their emotions. The keyword there, ladies and gentlemen, is experiencing their emotions, not watching their emotions, not feeling their emotions, but experiencing their emotions and the perspectives as if they were your own, truly embracing who this human is and where they're at.
George B. Thomas:This creates a deeper connection which builds understanding and strengthens the relationships that we have and that we're part of. And, again, when we think about this empathy and really embracing, Romans 12:15 reminds us rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. But to rejoice or mourn, you have to understand if they're rejoicing or mourning. Like, you have to be tuned into this actual piece. And so being human in these elements means taking the time to understand and share in the feelings of others.
George B. Thomas:I mean, we've all had that friend, and if you don't have a friend, maybe you can imagine having a friend. I'm sure if you're listening to this, you have friends, but they're going through a tough time. Right? And instead of just offering generic advice, which maybe we all have done, instead of that, maybe we sit with them and we actually listen actively and share or, again, embrace their feelings. Well, if we can do that instead of just the generic advice, this shows true empathy and makes your friend feel understood, supported, and seen.
George B. Thomas:Right? So I want you to think about compassion and empathy equaling people being understood, supported, and seen. This is like the layers of being a good human or focusing on how to 2 x humanity. I mean, listeners, I want you to think to yourself, how often do you truly listen to understand rather than just respond? Like, listen.
George B. Thomas:I'm gonna be completely honest. Over the weekend, I had to activate true listening and not just listen to respond. I I was I I had a moment this weekend where I was in, input mode. Let me just bring it in because I know I'm gonna need some time to think about it, and then I'm gonna activate from there. But compassion and empathy, what they don't mean is being indifferent or dismissive.
George B. Thomas:It's not about, like, ignoring the pain or offering superficial support with genuine care. Like, you have to allow yourself to go to this next level, which, by the way, I fully understand and have been there. When we embrace compassion and empathy, there is the potential to be hurt because we are going to that next level, but we have to be okay with that. Liz, when I keep going down this journey in my brain of this idea of what is being human or humanity or or or a good human, I have to bring up respect and dignity. Respect and dignity are are crucial elements of being human.
George B. Thomas:Respect recognizes and appreciates every every every every every single individual's worth and dignity. It involves considering others, honoring their rights, feelings, and values, and acknowledging their inherent value as human beings. I still wanna use the sound effect, by the way. But it you just you have to acknowledge that they're valuable no matter who they are. Respect, when we can lean into this, builds positive interactions.
George B. Thomas:It builds mutual understanding. And, again, it builds the positive interactions and mutual understanding regardless of the differences. So many times I watch our culture today, and it's so polarizing. People are either one side or the other or it's black or it's white. It's just very binary.
George B. Thomas:And to me, that equals a closed mindset. When you can't respect others, when you can't lean into positive interactions and mutual understanding, no matter if we have differences or not, like, again, it equals closed minded versus growth minded. And so if we think about dignity, again, this is their value, their worth, which entitles them to be treated in an ethically and just way. And there's so many times that we say things that just aren't that. Everyone deserves to be treated with honor and respect.
George B. Thomas:Making sure that their self worth is acknowledged and preserved. And again, I'm not saying that this is like you gotta treat humans with kid gloves. No. Like, you still have to give them the real deal Holyfield, but you can do that in a way that is respectful and holds up the dignity that they should have. I love this quote by Albert Einstein where he says, our task must be to free ourselves.
George B. Thomas:By widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty. The whole of nature. Not our bubble, not our little circle, but the whole. Like, being human means treating everyone equally no matter the differences. I I want you to consider interacting with someone from a different culture or spiritual background.
George B. Thomas:First of all, when we talk about religion, holy polarizing. When we talk about different cultures, because there's misunderstanding, sometimes we just shut it off at the beginning. But think about next time it's a different culture or it's a spiritual background, treating them with the same respect and openness as you would anyone else without letting the differences create barriers. This is this is what's gonna embody that dignity. This is what's gonna show that you actually have the respect for them.
George B. Thomas:Listeners, I need you to again, I told you I was gonna just ask some random questions because I want you to think about where you fit into this conversation that we're having, but how can you practice treating others with more dignity and respect in your daily life? Like, I'm gonna let that sit for a second because that's not a small question. Like, where right now do you go, oh, that, oh, that that one hurts. But you have to ask yourself, how can I practice treating others with more dignity and respect in my daily life? Respect and dignity are not about just tolerating disrespect or accepting unjust treatment.
George B. Thomas:It's not about enabling harmful behavior or failing to stand up for what's right, but it is about giving them the respect and dignity for who they are as wonderfully created humans. Another piece that I have hit upon here, and and and I didn't really expect this to be as long of answer as it's turning out to be. But if I let myself continue to go down this road, I think an essential aspect is helping others without expecting. I have this rule, 0 expectations, but without expecting anything in return and understanding that we're trying to contribute to the greater good. Like, consider something as simple as a neighbor struggling to carry in the groceries and offering to help them without expecting anything in return.
George B. Thomas:It's a simple yet powerful act of kindness that contributes to, like, a greater good, but we watch our neighbors struggle with their groceries or struggle with their lawn or here's one for you, which blows my mind because growing up in Montana and the fact that maybe I'm 52 and growing up in what feels like a different world. Listen, I I have to ask you. When's the last time you actually opened a door for a stranger? Is that gone in our society? Do you still do that?
George B. Thomas:I challenge you today after listening to this whenever you're listening to us, find a stranger and open the dang door for him and see what happens. See what happens with them. See how it makes you feel. Listen. Mother Teresa reminds us this and and Liz if I was gonna give, like, one point out of this entire podcast that I would want people to go back to and just embrace, it's this Mother Teresa quote because she said, it is not how much we give, but how much we love or how much love we put into giving.
George B. Thomas:Come on. Like, how much because love, by the way, is another key core concept that I'm like I I have talked many times about just, like, leading with love. And so how much love are you putting into the things versus measuring just the things that you're doing? Helping others without expect like, helping others without expecting anything in return doesn't mean seeking recognition or rewards for your actions. It's not about performing acts of kindness for the sake of applause or a personal gain.
George B. Thomas:Matthew 634 actually teaches us, but when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing so that you're giving may be in secret so that you're giving may be in secret if you're doing it to be in the limelight, then you're doing it for the wrong reasons. And all of this, by the way, that we're talking about, leans into this idea of just humans having these ethical behaviors that involve acting in ways that are consistent with maybe societal and norms. I have a hard time with that because it's like, I'm in the world, but not of the world anyway. But but definitely moral principles. It includes things like and remember, listeners, you're supposed to be writing words down along the way, but it includes things like being honest, being fair, treating others with respect and dignity.
George B. Thomas:It's having these guiding values like integrity, responsibility, transparency. It's making sure that actions and decisions are not only lawful, but also morally right and beneficial to you and to the humans that you're actually journeying. This life on this world, on this planet, it requires a commitment to doing the right thing even when that right thing is challenging or even when no one is watching. Like, as humans, we have to stick to our moral principles. We have to keep our integrity as a high important piece that we're always focused on.
George B. Thomas:It's not about cutting corners. It's not about, like, compromising our values to make people happy. It's not about just doing it when it's convenient. It's about acting with integrity all the time, not when it's just easy or beneficial. Now, Liz, you know me.
George B. Thomas:I have to list 3 other pieces, and then I'm done with this. As far as the definition of what I would say around humanity and being a good human, Spirituality, which we talked about recently in another podcast episode, holiness, can provide a deeper connection to these values that I've mentioned so far, grounding us in a sense of purpose. Servanthood is about putting others' needs above our own and building a community where everyone thrives. I want you to ask yourself, how can you incorporate more acts of servanthood in your daily life, listeners? I know I need to ask myself that.
George B. Thomas:There was a day when I was focused on mission trips and soup kitchens, but, you know, life is lifing, but how can we get back to incorporating more acts of servanthood into our daily life? At the end of the day, spirituality, servanthood, respect, empathy, compassion, all of this is designed to bring a sense of calm into our lives and help us respond to challenges with grace and patience and helping us maintain our focus on what truly matters in your life. Philippians 467 says or encourages us, do not be anxious about anything, But in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your request to god, and the peace of god, which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Being a good human, Liz, means genuinely caring for others, treating everyone with respect and dignity, helping selflessly, adhering to ethical principles along the way, and living a balanced life grounded in spirituality, servanthood, and calmness. It's about making a real positive impact on the world while growing as an individual.
George B. Thomas:And these values, these topics, these beliefs make us better humans. And, Liz, the key point to this piece too is it creates the positive ripple effects that we're all trying to do. Or at least for me, the thing that I wanna see when I'm done.
Liz Moorehead:If anybody isn't subscribing to our newsletter yet, beyond your default.comforward/newsletter because you you expressed how important those ripples are
George B. Thomas:Yeah.
Liz Moorehead:When it comes to examining our own human experience. I wanna take a moment and point out, you know, I'm hearing echoes of our conversation last week on holiness. And if you didn't listen to it, the high level is that there's this idea of nurturing your soul, nurturing your humanity regardless of your belief structure, whether that is a monotheistic, traditional religious aspect, a more broad spiritual, universal, divine way of thinking. It could be other disciplines or quite frankly, you could have a more secular viewpoint of the world. This idea of nurturing our soul and our humanity is really geared toward it doesn't matter your belief structure.
George B. Thomas:Yeah.
Liz Moorehead:But what I find fascinating about what I've been listening to you say and why I call back to that conversation is that in order to embrace humanity, we have to first remember that our humanity and we're gonna get into a little bit about how that individually expresses for ourselves. It begins as a collective. The first step is de centering the me and tapping into the we, and that's where you get where you're going. You know, that's where you really start to unlock some really special stuff. Because if you're decentering the me and focusing on the we, it becomes easier to do what you had been talking about.
Liz Moorehead:Right? Those conversations where you need to turn on active listening. If you're not putting me first and you're putting we first, that becomes a lot easier to do even if you have to sit with uncomfortable emotions, which Yeah. If you listen to our toxic positivity episode, that's okay to do. You know?
Liz Moorehead:You have the buy in already to do the hard things. Now, I wanna start dipping our toes a bit here into the individual expressions of it. Right? Because humanity is a collective. It is this we, but we each play our own role as a member of this Yeah.
Liz Moorehead:And you Yeah. And you talk about this in our conversation in the superhuman framework about the importance and the emphasis of authenticity and vulnerability. How have these qualities impacted your personal and professional relationships when you've practiced what you preached, when you have emphasized these things?
George B. Thomas:1st of all, I love authenticity and vulnerability. Listen, I've shared the story of, like, how I learned being vulnerable equals magic moments. Authenticity, you know, one of the things that I love to hear is, man, no matter if I see you on stage, no matter if I'm sitting at your fire pit, like, you are who you are. Like, I just get George. Because I try really, really hard not to be different people in different situations.
George B. Thomas:I just try to show up as me and and have these kind of core pieces, being human, being happy, being helpful, lead the way. But, you know, authenticity, vulnerability, when I think about this, like, they are really 2 big pieces that shape our lives and relationships. So it's easier to be a friend, be a husband, be a father, whatever you are. You might be a mother. You might be a wife.
George B. Thomas:But it's it's easier to have those relationships when you're showing up as your authentic self and not wearing a mask and willing to be vulnerable, whether that's vulnerable in listening or vulnerable in what you have to say. And what I want everybody to realize is when we talk about authenticity, it's all about being true to yourself and showing others who you really are. And I mean warts and all, like the good, the bad, the ugly, being willing to actually showing that. It's about embracing both your strengths and your weaknesses, and when you can embrace those and show those to others, we as humans fundamentally think it's gonna be maybe corrosive or destructive to how people think about us, but it actually builds trust. And it deepens the connections that we have because people appreciate the real you, which by the way, there's only one you.
George B. Thomas:You were magnificently created and put on this planet to be you. So, like, don't wear a mask and hide who you are. Like, show up authentically. And, again, there's a really great quote. Ralph Waldo Emerson said, to be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.
George B. Thomas:And what I want people to take from that quote is, like, being yourself should probably feel a little bit like a battle. Like, you have to fight to be who you wanna be and who you're supposed to be. Because trust me, the world is going to not make that the easiest journey. And I think that's part of why I love doing this podcast and building the community and having the newsletters because we're literally trying to be these, like, little super soldiers coming along the way to enable you to say and be comfortable with, yeah, I am me and and me is enough. Listeners, when's the last time you allowed yourself to be truly vulnerable with someone?
George B. Thomas:Maybe never. Maybe a week ago, maybe a month ago, but you need to think about that because vulnerability is about opening up and sharing your true feelings, fears, and experiences. If you don't open up and share your true feelings, fears, and experiences, first of all, some of those feelings are gonna fester. That festering can turn to rot, and that rot then affects the core of who you are and who you're trying to be. Listen.
George B. Thomas:Vulnerability is about being honest about your struggles and not being afraid to show your imperfect side. This honesty, it's gonna build deeper connections, making it easier for others to relate with you and for you to relate with others, especially on Desmond Tutu wisely said, my humanity is Desmond Tutu wisely said, my humanity is bound up in yours, for we can only be human together. Listeners, being human is a team sport. Teams talk to each other. Teams know the playbooks.
George B. Thomas:I I wanna use that dumb thing. There's no iron team. Like, you have to be doing life together. You have to be doing good human and humanity together. And these qualities that we're talking about, again, hopefully, you've got your notepad out, they enhance empathy, compassion, respect, and dignity.
George B. Thomas:Does that sound familiar? Like, we may have just mentioned those earlier. Right? Like, this all ties together. By being authentic and vulnerable, you create a space where others feel safe to be themselves.
George B. Thomas:Now you feel like you can be yourself. Others feel like they can be themselves, and we're actually getting somewhere. And to be honest with you, in my mind, this ties in perfectly with treating everyone with respect and dignity like I talked about before and helping selfishly and and living a life grounded in ethical behavior and spirituality. Like, again, it's this, like, connect the dot situation. But when you incorporate authenticity and vulnerability in your life, you amplify your ability to connect genuinely with others and build a supportive and understanding community.
George B. Thomas:This leads, why we're all here by the way, to personal growth and meaningful impact for you and those around you and guiding you and those around you towards living your best life possible.
Liz Moorehead:You know, as I was sitting here listening to you talk about authenticity and vulnerability, it reminded me of something I wrote about for the Beyond Your Default newsletter, which is that truth is a binding agent. And if it isn't, that should tell you something. That should be a signal that something is off. Yeah.
George B. Thomas:You
Liz Moorehead:know? And and I'm gonna call out something that I actually made a note about, George. But you know what? We try to be raw and authentic on this podcast, so I'm gonna be the most raw and authentic possible. Uh-oh.
George B. Thomas:Do you
Liz Moorehead:realize how much we talk about love, how important love is? It's the most important thing, and it's not even present in our superhuman framework. And I have a question about whether or not that needs to change. Because when I think about what you're talking about, it's talking about love. Do you love someone enough to listen?
Liz Moorehead:Do you love someone enough to show themselves to you? Do you love yourself enough to allow yourself to be seen? Do you create space for the truth to act as a binding agent? Because when love isn't present, truth isn't a binding agent. Vulnerability isn't a binding agent.
Liz Moorehead:Authenticity isn't a binding agent that brings you together. It is a weapon. It is a wedge. It is something that causes a problem. Because even like, you and I haven't always agreed on things, but we never had a moment where the truth pushed us apart.
George B. Thomas:Yeah. They say the truth will set you free.
Liz Moorehead:Well, it's not just about setting you free. It's about I think about the conversation that I referenced a a few episodes ago where I had the authenticity conversation reminded me that or the honesty conversation reminded me, like, I need to go be honest with
George B. Thomas:someone, and maybe they need
Liz Moorehead:to be honest
George B. Thomas:with me too. Yeah.
Liz Moorehead:And what was wild about it is that, over the course of that conversation, plus the 2 to 3 weeks that followed, wild truths were coming wild. Like, things we had not said, things we were too afraid to share. Everything's fine.
George B. Thomas:Yeah.
Liz Moorehead:We're we're closer than ever going on a brewery trip with them next weekend. Like There
George B. Thomas:you go.
Liz Moorehead:It is amazing to me what is possible when you bet on the love that you have for yourself and the love that you have for other people.
George B. Thomas:Yeah. We should probably have a strategic conversation not on the podcast about where that fits into the superhuman framework.
Liz Moorehead:That is why love question mark is on my piece of paper.
George B. Thomas:Yeah. That might not be its own section, but it might be a piece of every section. But we'll have to talk about that.
Liz Moorehead:I love that. Somebody called me out though. I got called out. It's actually the next edition of my newsletter. And normally, I send a weekend edition.
Liz Moorehead:But this question wrecked me so much. I didn't even get there.
George B. Thomas:Oh.
Liz Moorehead:They said, you spend a lot of time talking abstractly about love, but never directly to it. And I was sitting there thinking about it, and it didn't crystallize for me until this conversation, which is it wasn't that I was necessarily avoiding it, but I think sometimes it feels a little hokey to talk about it. Yeah. But if I looked back across all of the themes because I I went back and reread all my newsletters. I spent a lot of time doing Beyond Your Default, the stuff this this weekend.
Liz Moorehead:And I'm like, because I talked about truth. I talked about risk. I talked about going after what it is you really want.
George B. Thomas:Yeah.
Liz Moorehead:Knowing when to walk away from things or people. All of these simplifying the complex. Those are all symptoms of love.
George B. Thomas:Yeah. Let's do an episode on love, first of all, and then let's talk about how that fits into the superhuman framework, which I'm super curious. If you're listening this and we put together, like, a superhuman framework course that you could watch or we could talk you through, Just email us if you'd be interested. It's george@beyondyourdefault.comorliz@beyondyourdefault.com because we're super curious if people would wanna dive into this superhuman framework for their life past the podcast episode that we did. Anyway, let's move on.
Liz Moorehead:Yeah. That's what I just find fascinating about all this is that authenticity because one of the things I thought was really fascinating about the discussion we had during the superhuman framework conversation was that we have a whole separate pillar about health. And yet, you made a point to call out the fact that we will discuss health as a separate pillar. It is important to remember the interdependent relationship between your health and your humanity. Meaning, depending on whether your physical health is good or your physical health is bad or somewhere in the nebulous gray area in between, it can positively and negatively impact your ability to tap in your humanity.
Liz Moorehead:Sir, can you elaborate? Yeah. It it
George B. Thomas:it's funny because this one, like, I I wanted to find some kind of, like, funny joking thing of, like, this is like the something something type of person teaching you how to something something. God has had to use a 2 by 4 on me when it comes to, like, health. So I've had a real interesting journey of, like, being hyper focused on it and being not focused on it at all, and I have learned some lessons along the way. So what's interesting is neglecting physical health impacts emotional and mental well-being. Without a doubt, I could end right there.
George B. Thomas:Just period. Like, neglecting your health, it's gonna affect your humanity. It's gonna affect your growth journey. Poor health is gonna lead to fatigue and low energy. Been there, done that.
George B. Thomas:When you have low energy and fatigue, it makes it difficult to engage in joyful activities. Heck, almost any activities, which, by the way, when you're not interacting in activities because you are fatigued or have low energy, this causes then sadness, which quickly leads into potential depression. And listeners, if you've listened to podcast for any length of time, you should remember our historical discussion on maintaining a positive mindset. Well, it's hard to stay positive when you're constantly drained. It takes some energy to actually have that optimistic positive mindset.
George B. Thomas:And Eleanor Roosevelt said, the future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. If you're fatigued, if you're depressed, if you're not paying attention to your health, it's real hard to have those dreams. Like, in dreams is what leads us to our goals and our daily habits to get to those goals to try to achieve those dreams. And so to kind of go deeper into your question, how does your physical health influence your mental and emotional well-being? First of all, listeners, I would want you to ask that question of yourself.
George B. Thomas:How does your physical health right now, today, where you're sitting, standing, walking, jogging, flying, whatever you're doing right now, how does your physical health influence your mental and emotional well-being? Do you pay attention to it? Is it a struggle? One thing that I've learned for sure is regular physical activity, just in the way that we're built, releases endorphins. And those endorphins are the feel good chemicals.
George B. Thomas:I did what did I say earlier this morning, Liz? I think I did, like, 14,000 steps already at, like, 9 o'clock this morning.
Liz Moorehead:Yeah. Yeah. Big show off.
George B. Thomas:And I'm not showing off, but, man, I feel great about it. Right? Like, those endorphins are being released. I'm walking on the treadmill. I'm listening to, like, motivational, inspirational video while I'm doing it.
George B. Thomas:I'm, you know, I'm answering some emails. Like, I'm just getting stuff done, and and it's because I'm being healthy. And I'm I'm releasing those feel good chemicals in my brain, and those chemicals help keep your mood in check. Without exercise, we miss out on this natural boost in our daily life. And, again, it could potentially lead to, and I mentioned earlier, sadness, anxiety, depression.
George B. Thomas:When you're focused on healthy living, it definitely helps with stress management. Like, listen. I know without a doubt. I don't even have to ask this question. If I ask you if life is stressful, 99 out of 99 I don't know why I didn't say a 100, but, 99 out of 99 people are gonna be like, yes.
George B. Thomas:My life gets stressful. And so stress management is another crucial aspect. Regular exercise, proper nutrition, and this one might hurt. It might sting for some people. Adequate sleep.
George B. Thomas:Those three things are essential for keeping stress levels in check, and neglecting any of these can make stress overwhelming affecting our ability to handle daily challenges. And by the way, I'm not saying major daily challenges, but just in general, any daily challenges while we're on this growth journey to becoming better humans. In our episode about smashing the reset button, which if you haven't gone and listened to that, make sure you go and listen to that, we talked about how we think about time. And we emphasized the importance of a routine, including healthy habits in your daily routine and how that can significantly reduce stress. So what does your routine look like?
George B. Thomas:What are your healthy habits look like? Do you have those healthy habits? Are you releasing those endorphins? Is it helping you manage stress and not be depressed and anxious? Not to mention, this is another one that's been huge for me lately on this, like, latest journey of, hey.
George B. Thomas:Quit being an idiot and start being healthy. The change in my cognitive function, when I had gained a lot of the weight back and when I was trying to make decisions and trying to, like, think about things, it was just fundamentally more difficult than now because because poor health makes it harder to remember things, makes it harder to focus, makes it harder to solve problems. And this can cause issues in your personal life. It can definitely cause issues in at work, and it definitely can cause issues at work when you're supposed to be the leader of the ship. So, like, if you don't want that to be toxic and chaotic, then you've gotta focus on your physical health to keep it so you're showing up as your best.
George B. Thomas:Like, we even discussed on another episode the growth mindset and continuous learning about staying healthy and how it's crucial you can see this is another connect the dots. It all fits together scenario. But, Liz, I've had to deal with this one, and I'm pretty sure a lot of humans have had to deal with this one. And, frankly, if I'm being completely authentic, transparent, vulnerable right now, I'm freaking sick of dealing with this one. And it's negative body image.
George B. Thomas:And negative body image leans into, like, low self esteem of who you are and how you've been built and if God really made you this way or if you've made yourself this way over time. Like, negative body image and low self esteem often result in us doubling down on neglecting our physical health. Because, like, I've gotten in the mindset of, like, why even bother? Almost a woe is me, which, by the way, my brain immediately goes to, like, the victor versus victim mentality episode that we did in this conversation. Like, be the victor, focus on being healthy, focus on getting past the negative body image because this affects how we see ourselves.
George B. Thomas:And if we're seeing ourselves through that circus mirror, it's also impacting the way that we're interacting with others. And when you have this negative body issue going on, and I've seen this in my personal life, it quickly leads to social isolation, which can lead to physical ailments, which leads us to withdraw. We're not going out and doing social activities. We've got these now feelings of loneliness and isolation. I don't know if my words are painting this picture, but I just see this, like, spiraling funnel into the depths of, like, oh god.
George B. Thomas:This sucks. Because we're not paying attention to our physical health. Right? And I'm talking about exercise. I'm talking about diet.
George B. Thomas:I'm talking about the amount of sleep we get. Physical health impacts who we are as humans and how we feel about ourselves, which then impacts our capacity for empathy and compassion that we talked about, which again, we know are huge for air quotes if you're listening to this, being human or at least being a better human. And so when we're struggling with our health, we may become more inward focused. We may reduce our ability to, you know, have empathy for others. It will kill connections with others.
George B. Thomas:But good physical health enables us to participate fully in social and community activities, build deeper connections, and and have this sense. And, oh my god, this is so important. Have this sense of belonging. We we all, as humans, we all want to belong. And so if you're sitting here and you're like, yeah.
George B. Thomas:I understand that spiraling funnel, been there, done that, well, shake your hand. Welcome to the club. I've been there too, but some practice have jackets. Yeah. We have jackets and logos and all sorts of stuff.
George B. Thomas:But practical steps to start to integrate physical health for better emotional and mental well-being include just, and start small, but some type of regular exercise. Like, literally, go for a 15 minute walk. Heck. Go for a 5 minute walk, and maybe do a 5 minute walk 2 times a day at first. I don't care.
George B. Thomas:But do some, like, half push ups at the you know, your foot board, and, like, you don't have to go down to the ground and try to do foot just do a little bit of something. But along with that little bit of By the way, if By the way, if you want a real fun crazy journey, just do a journey on gut health and what that actually does for you. And then the other piece, and this is me being real vulnerable on this podcast, the amount of sleep I've been able to get and the adequate sleep that I have been able to get ever since I listened to my wife and went to the doctor and got a CPAP machine is night and day. And so, again, all of this fits together. All of these help us show up as our better selves and help us show up as better humans.
Liz Moorehead:Yeah. I love that you brought up sleep because if people are listening to this and going, well, I'm not sure that's really you know what? Think about the last time you didn't get sleep and how well you showed up as a human for the other people in your lives.
George B. Thomas:Yeah. I know.
Liz Moorehead:No. I just gosh. No. And and that's one of the things I've had to force myself to do. You know, over the past few months, I've really struggled with this idea of, well, I should get up at this time.
Liz Moorehead:Should you? Do you have to right now?
George B. Thomas:Yeah. I give myself grace on that, by the way.
Liz Moorehead:It's a challenge for me to to regulate because I am a recovering people pleaser who has really struggled due to familial relationships and other relationships to not put myself in a position where I I tend to it's interesting. We're having this conversation about, you know, you need to decenter yourself. Yeah. But there's there's an extreme version of that where you're not taking care of your vessel, where it's it's not decentering yourself in name of the we and love and all of these beautiful things you're talking about or we're talking about. It's more about, like, self sacrifice in a way that is incredibly self destructive.
Liz Moorehead:And so that is that's an area where I I I'm still finding myself kind of going back and forth, you know, showing up too much, showing up too like, I'm still trying to calibrate myself in that way, and it's getting better, but sleep is always the best way. Would you like to see Liz's lack of humanity give me not enough sleep and see what happens?
George B. Thomas:Yeah. I'm not the greatest of humans when
Liz Moorehead:No. Especially when you and I sometimes have, like, early morning calls. Hi. Hello. Yeah.
George B. Thomas:How are you? It's more like Ecstatic. Ecstatic.
Liz Moorehead:Caitlin. Thrilled. But you started talking about this a bit when you started talking about, you know, how you see yourself physically. This is something I struggle with as well. So let's stick into this a little bit.
Liz Moorehead:What role specifically does self acceptance play into your concept of humanity? And how can individuals cultivate that within their own lives?
George B. Thomas:So it's a 2 part question. So we'll we'll give it 2 different pieces of the answer. It's funny because it like, just the cliff note of this is literally, like, the whole ass human conversation, by the way. Because here's the thing, like, self acceptance, accepting yourself for who you are, it is a cornerstone of our humanity conversation today. It allows us to embrace who we are, again, including our strengths and weaknesses, and it builds, this sense of being able to be authentic and have compassion towards ourselves and others, which, by the way, again, if you have listened to all the podcast episodes, sweet.
George B. Thomas:If you have not, then you need to go and listen to the one about, like, treating yourself kindly and having compassion towards yourself along this journey. But when we take the time, when we have the ability to accept ourselves, we're more likely to extend that same understanding, that same acceptance to those around us. And this enhances our ability to connect, emphasize, and build meaningful relationships along the way. To be a better human and build personal growth into what we're doing, there's really, Liz, kind of I'll call them the top three things. Now there's more than these three things, but it's a podcast, and we have limited amount of time.
George B. Thomas:So the top three things that come to mind are practicing self compassion, challenging negative self talk, and embracing vulnerability. K. So those are 3 things that I want you, the listeners, to kinda start to think about. You have to treat yourself with the kindness and understanding you would offer a friend that might come to you. When you make a mistake, acknowledge it without harsh judgment, and and remind yourself that imperfection is part of the human experience.
George B. Thomas:Perfection is not real. It's false. So, like, get over it. This practice of being kind to yourself will build a positive relationship with yourself, which is fundamental for this personal growth journey that you're on. And by being compassionate to yourself, you create this supportive inner environment that encourages resilience, which we need, and continuous improvement, which we should all be doing.
George B. Thomas:Now I want you to pay attention, though, along the way as you're trying to focus on this to your inner dialogue. This historically for me, like, I had to get past this. I literally had to spend time with I am statements in a positive way because it was very easy for me to be like, you're dumb. You're stupid. You're a high school dropout.
George B. Thomas:You're never gonna amount to anything. You're an a hole. Like, there was just this toxic negative internal dialogue that in my younger years would just, anyway, please pay attention to your inner dialogue and and challenge these negative thoughts that so quickly and easily sometimes can pop up and replace self criticism with affirmations and positive reinforcements about yourself. Like, for example, and this is a very easy one. Instead of saying, I'm not good enough, like, you might just remind yourself that you're doing your best, and that's okay.
George B. Thomas:I've told my kids multiple times, like, I don't need you to be perfect. I just want you to try to do your best. So are you trying to do your best? Well, then sweet. Ease up on yourself.
George B. Thomas:Changing the way that you talk to yourself is gonna directly impact your self esteem and your confidence. And by the way, confidence is real important to this conversation about being a good human and unlocks your ability to really, take it externally because you focused on what we're talking about internally right now. Positive self talk is gonna enable you to approach challenges with a growth mindset, which again is critical for personal development and being a good human. I have to ask listeners, and this might again sting or be a little bit painful. But right now, how often do you catch yourself in negative self talk?
George B. Thomas:And when you do, how can you change that? And again, it sounds like maybe it's not that big a deal, but it is that big a deal.
Liz Moorehead:And a 100% is we did a whole episode on it. We did a whole episode on the language you used to talk about yourself and how it shapes your destiny.
George B. Thomas:And if you haven't listened to it, go listen to it. Here here's the deal. The real deal, Holyfield, is that you have to be open about your feelings and experiences. And the best part of this is, like, be open with your feelings and experiences with trusted friends or family. Have a space and a place to share your vulnerabilities because sharing your feelings and experiences and sharing your vulnerabilities can help you realize that and this is so important, and I think it ties into that we all wanna belong.
George B. Thomas:But it it can lean into, like, helping you realize that you're not alone in your struggles. And, again, because you enable this, it builds that better connection with others. Embracing vulnerability allows for genuine connection. It builds a sense of community. It helps you develop emotional resilience by facing and sharing your true self, your whole ass human, which essentially you're showing up as you.
George B. Thomas:You're showing up as a better human. You're becoming a better human along the way. And by embracing these 3 best well, called top best practices, we're literally laying a solid foundation for our journey towards self acceptance and our humanity. It's through self compassion, positive self talk, and vulnerability that we can create this environment within ourselves that is not toxic, not corrosive, but positive and loving. And because of that, it radiates outward towards those around us.
George B. Thomas:And each step we take in this direction, Liz and listeners, And it builds this idea going back to keywords that we're talking about, and it builds this idea going back to keywords that we're talking about today, this empathetic understanding of the world that we're in. I need you to remember this. Being human is about progress, not perfection. Continuing to strive for that 1% improvement each and every day, knowing that our efforts are contributing to a more compassionate and connected human, us, along the way, like, during this journey, Just wake up and take the next step and be kind to yourself.
Liz Moorehead:I wrote about this in the last issue of the newsletter, which actually, I'll I'll be honest with you, George, was inspired by you.
George B. Thomas:Oh, okay. Yeah. Thanks.
Liz Moorehead:Because you had mentioned, you know, so the past couple of issues of the newsletter, beyondredefault.comforward/newsletter, we've been talking about the acceptance of opposites and polarities and contradictions, both outside of ourselves and within ourselves. And one of the things I talked about in the most recent issue is that if you forever remain at war with yourself, you will forever forever remain at war with the
George B. Thomas:world.
Liz Moorehead:It doesn't matter whether you're talking about love or honesty or self acceptance. If you can't first give that gift to yourself, it becomes impossible to do it for anybody else. But one of my favorite examples is because you talked about this. Right? You talked about the fact that, like, we have these contradictions within us and we believe that because these contradictions exist, they can't.
Liz Moorehead:Like, we for some reason, we think that we're not able to be these complex individuals where I like this and I also like that, or I've made a mistake and now I've learned the lesson. You know, all of these little different like, we have this very binary view of ourselves of what it means to be a quote, unquote good human. But one of my favorite examples I'll give you 2. Right? The first is a galaxy.
Liz Moorehead:Galaxies are made up of regular matter, which is the stuff that we see, and dark matter, which is the stuff we can't see. It's spooky. It's scary. We only know it's there because of its gravitational pull. Galaxies don't exist without dark matter.
Liz Moorehead:Dark matter is what holds all the beautiful visible star stuff together. The light is only beautiful and architected like cosmic sculptures because of the darkness. But then if we wanna look to Greek mythology, there's Athena. Athena is the goddess of wisdom and war. Yeah.
Liz Moorehead:She's both. She is not a passive philosopher sitting on the sidelines preaching peace with knowing nothing of what it means to take up arms in a cause greater than yourself, nor is she a bloodthirsty mercenary who is just there for war, there for the killing? There she is both. And more than that, she is a brilliant bastion of peace and she's not a bloodthirsty mercenary. She is a brilliant military mind responsible for some of the great victories in the Trojan War.
Liz Moorehead:And the only reason she is able to embody that wise bastion of peace or that brilliant military mind is because she is both equally. The more we become at home within ourselves of I'm a human being. I have shadow, I have light. I have edges, I have soft squishy parts. It becomes so much easier to accept it outside in the world.
Liz Moorehead:Because why do we reject those things outside in the world? Because it reminds us of what we have not accepted within ourselves. And that's where we get into some really interesting stuff.
George B. Thomas:Yeah.
Liz Moorehead:Another key component of this humanity discussion that you brought up is emotional intelligence. Again, another softball question. What is that? You know, I hear it a lot thrown around, especially, you know, SaaS startup environments, which is something you and I spend a lot of time in. Yeah.
Liz Moorehead:A lot of people like to talk about EQ, but it's kinda like the Princess Bride. I do not think that word means what you think it means. So let's level the playing field here. What is it, and how do you practice it?
George B. Thomas:Yeah. Stop that rhyme. I mean it. Anybody want a peanut? Anyway, I love that movie, by the way.
George B. Thomas:Just gonna throw that out there. But here's the thing. Like, again, I don't think you knew that several of these questions felt like you were putting on boxing gloves, and there was literally gonna be, like, what is that the, you know, bell of the you know, boxing ring. But here's the funny thing about emotional intelligence. I think because of my skewed self perception of my IQ, you're dumb, you're stupid, you're high school dropout, that I actually doubled down on EQ and emotional intelligence in my life.
George B. Thomas:So it was interesting to kinda see this question and get a chance to answer this question because, again, emotional intelligence, it is a key component to our view on this topic of humanity. And, Liz, I I love though, even though it was a struggle that you asked the question, what the heck is emotional intelligence anyway? Right? In my mind, it's the ability to understand and manage your own emotions as well as recognize and potentially influence the emotions of others. It's having this ability to be aware of your feelings, controlling them when necessary, using that awareness to guide your interactions with others in a positive and effective way.
George B. Thomas:To start, and, again, there's kind of components here. Right? When I think about emotional intelligence, there's, like, these layers of it. So you have to, like, have this level of self awareness, which, you know, you have to recognize and understand yourself, your emotions. You have to understand your strengths and weaknesses.
George B. Thomas:You have to understand how your emotion impacts your strengths and weaknesses and how your strengths and weaknesses and emotions actually affect or impact your thoughts and behavior? Like, there's a lot to unpack right there, but, like, this idea of self awareness is this key concept, emotional intelligence. Once you know yourself and what I kind of was alluding to to the beginning of this answer is there's this level Right? It's about managing those emotions. Once you're aware of Right?
George B. Thomas:It's about managing those emotions once you're aware of them. It's keeping the ability to stay in control. It's about being able to be adaptable. It's reacting appropriately to different situations. And I think the interesting piece of this with self awareness and self regulation is that it layers or leans into this layer of motivation.
George B. Thomas:And motivation and emotional intelligence is about having the drive to improve and achieve your goals along the way. It's being motivated by personal growth and curiosity rather than the potential external rewards. If you have this self awareness, if you're able to self regulate, if you have the motivation, the gas to go down the road of this journey, then we have to add on the layer that we've already talked about. But, again, this is in conjunction to emotional intelligence, And it's the external piece of the emotional intelligence where I literally said or influenced the emotions of others. To do that, self awareness, self regulation, motivation, and then add on the layer of empathy.
George B. Thomas:One of my favorite words, by the way, being empathetic. Some people are actually empaths, but it's it's understanding and sharing those feelings of other. It's, again, about seeing things from their perspective and responding with compassion. Listeners, I love you. But how do you practice and develop emotional intelligence in your life right now?
George B. Thomas:We have to start with self awareness. Right? How do you do that? By tuning into your emotions, even though those emotions might be freaking scary. Pay attention to what triggers different feelings and how you react.
George B. Thomas:You might keep a journal or use your notes app on your phone to reflect on your emotions and your responses. For self regulation, you might use techniques like deep breathing, meditation, mindfulness to act like actually stay calm. And when faced with a challenging situation, take a moment to pause, that's why they say count to 10, ladies and gentlemen, and think before actually reacting. If you wanna cultivate this motivational layer of what we're talking about, actually set personal goals that are meaningful to you. I hope you're not living your life based on your parents' goals, your wife's goals, your brother's goals, maybe by your mentor's goals.
George B. Thomas:Like, I hope the motivation that you're cultivating is based on personal goals that are meaningful to you because that's what's gonna matter. Focus on what drives you internally, and then celebrate the freaking small victories along the way to keep you inspired for where you're actually trying to get to. And the last layer that we talked about to kinda cultivate this, build this in yourself, You we all have to focus and I can get better at this. I think till the day I die, I I'll be able to get better at this. We have to enhance empathy.
George B. Thomas:We have to practice active listening. We have to be able to figure out how to put ourselves in other shoes. We have to embrace this mindset of compassion. We have to learn how to be great communicators. We need to lean in to being clear and respectful.
George B. Thomas:We need to understand that it's about managing the conflicts because it's not if, it's when they'll show up. Again, we need to layer on this layer of confidence and calmness. We have to be looking for the solution. Integrating emotional intelligence into your daily life and maybe it's daily check ins where you reflect on your emotions. What triggered them?
George B. Thomas:How did you respond? We've had whole episodes on, like, meditation and mindfulness and journeys and mornings, and, like, you've gotta embrace this piece. But, also, here's the thing. Let's go back to those trusted friends and family members. Like, there's gotta be some input into your life around this conversation of an emotional intelligence.
George B. Thomas:Ask them how you're doing. Ask them how it felt. And the last thing I'll say is, again, emotional intelligence and self awareness and self regulation and all of this, like, it's gonna take time. So you have to have this mindset of continuous learning, like read books, take courses, listen to this podcast weekly, attend workshops. I I don't care.
George B. Thomas:Whatever you gotta do, but, like, Google emotional intelligence or any of the words that we've used in this section and figure out how do I, as the listener, how do I, as George b Thomas, how do I deepen my understanding? How do I develop my skills around this very important piece that is emotional intelligence? Because by practicing and developing emotional intelligence, you can enhance your ability to connect with the humans around you, navigate life's challenges more effectively, and again, build more compassionate and fulfilling life that you're actually going to enjoy journeying through.
Liz Moorehead:You know, George, I'm just gonna be honest with you. At that moment when you said, listeners, I love you, and I felt so warm and happy.
George B. Thomas:Oh, jeez.
Liz Moorehead:And then you came in with that 2 by 4 truth, my guy.
George B. Thomas:Sorry.
Liz Moorehead:Yeah. The next time you say I love you on this podcast, brace for impact.
George B. Thomas:Be warm. Be warm.
Liz Moorehead:Emotional damage. Warning. Warning. His love is coming with a lesson. Let's wrap this up.
Liz Moorehead:Connecting to our own human experience, our own humanity, as you've discussed in great detail today, it is one of the most important things we can do, but admittedly we're human beings. It's not always the easiest thing to do. Right? Sometimes traumatic experiences get in the way. Other times, the the level of self honesty required to do it can create uncomfortable moments of awareness, just like you said, around our actions.
Liz Moorehead:Also, sometimes we're just ding dong idiots because we're humans and we mess up
George B. Thomas:Yeah.
Liz Moorehead:And we make mistakes. So how do you want to encourage our listeners today as they leave this conversation to think about their own humanity within their own beyond your default journey, even if this is an area in which they're
George B. Thomas:First of all, you're right, Liz. Connecting to our own human experience, our own humanity, it is not always easy. And, again, you're right. Sometimes traumatic experiences get in the way. Other times, the level of self honesty required for us to do it can create these uncomfortable moments of awareness around the actions that we're taking and how we're not maybe being the best of humans.
George B. Thomas:But with all of what you said, at the end of the day, it's important and worth every minute spent focusing on our humanity and being great humans. It is going to be the linchpin for probably every other topic that we've covered or had here. So first and maybe foremost, we have to acknowledge a fact. It's okay to struggle with this. It's okay.
George B. Thomas:We all have our moments of doubt. We all have our moments of fear. And, yes, Liz, I love that you used the word, we even have those ding dong moments that you mentioned. The key is not to be perfect, but to be persistent in our efforts to connect with our humanity. I'm gonna say it again for the 2nd time.
George B. Thomas:Progress is the ultimate goal. 1% better each and every day is what we should be trying to achieve. Reflect on your experiences regularly. Take a few minutes each day to check-in with yourself. Listeners, how often do you take time to reflect on your experiences and feelings?
George B. Thomas:Or do you just live day in, day out, fall asleep, wake up, go to work, eat, fall asleep? How often do you take time to reflect on your experiences and feelings? Or, like, or are you just going through life numb? Like, ask yourself, how are you feeling? What triggered those feelings?
George B. Thomas:How how look at how you pay attention to, without judgment. The other thing that we have to do, because we have to without judgment. The other thing that we have to do, because, again, if it's 1% better each and every day is we've gotta set realistic expectations for ourselves. Understand that perfection is unattainable. It is false, and it's okay to have limitations.
George B. Thomas:We are human. We have limitations. Accepting this can reduce the pressure because many of us put ourselves in a pressure cooker scenario. So we can get rid of the pressure that we put on ourself and allow us to appreciate our efforts and appreciate our progress. The other thing that so many of us try to do, and I fall prey to this one, is we try to do it all alone.
George B. Thomas:Seek support if needed. Sometimes connecting with our humanity requires a little help from our friends. That song I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends comes to mind, And I love sometimes just to turn that on and listen to it and then be like, okay. Who's the friend that I need to tag in? And again, whether it's a trusted friend, a family member, or a professional counselor, don't hesitate to ask for support and guidance.
George B. Thomas:Remember, connecting to your humanity is a journey. It's not a destination. It's about continuous growth. It's about learning, And it's most definitely about self discovery along the way. By being kind to yourself, embracing vulnerability, and staying mindful of your emotions, you can build this life, these connections, this human experience that we're having as spiritual beings, so that even if you're struggling, you know that you're not alone.
George B. Thomas:You see ladies and gentlemen, the punchline is that we're all on this journey together, learning and growing as we go. So I'll ask you to embrace your humanity with all of its messiness and beauty, and keep moving forward on your journey to a life beyond your default.