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What if you could get more of what you want in life? But not through pushing, forcing, or pressure.
You can.
When it comes to money, time, and energy, no one’s gonna turn away more.
And Kate Northrup, Bestselling Author of Money: A Love Story and Do Less and host of Plenty, is here to help you expand your capacity to receive all of the best.
As a Money Empowerment OG who’s been at it for nearly 2 decades, Kate’s the abundance-oriented best friend you may not even know you’ve always needed.
Pull up a chair every week with top thought leaders, luminaries, and adventurers to learn how to have more abundance with ease.
Hello and welcome to plenty. I'm so excited for you to be here today to get to meet a dear friend of mine and neighbor Susie Moore. Susie Moore is a globally sought after life coach and media expert. She has been featured on the Today Show, Good Morning America, Business Insider, Dr. Oz. Glamour and more.
She is one of the most delightful humans I have ever met. She inspires me to no end. She gives me so much permission to go for it and to let it be easy. Which is the title of one of her best selling books. In addition, she also wrote Stop checking your likes. Susie is the host of the Top Apple podcast, Let It Be Easy, and in today's episode we covered how to get great media coverage, how to let it be easy, the simple trick she has for finding a soothing thought, and stopping the rabbit hole of compare and despair, and...
The spiral of emotions that just make you feel crappy. So if you want to feel better, be more successful in your business and beyond, and give yourself permission to have plenty, tune in to this episode. Enjoy.
Welcome to plenty. I'm your host, Kate Northrup. And together we are going on a journey to help you have an incredible relationship with money, time and energy and to have abundance on every possible level. Every week we're going to dive in with experts and insights to help you unlock a life of plenty.
Let's go fill our cups.
[00:00:00] kate: Welcome, Susie. Thank you for being here.
Susie: Kate Northrup, what a joy to be here in this gorgeous studio.
Kate: I love you. Thank you for having me as one of your first guests.
Susie: Yeah. Oh my gosh. Well, of course, of course.
Kate: And you have been quite inspiring to me with your podcast, Let It Be Easy. And one of the things that I love about you in general is how much you actually really live. of your mission, or your philosophy, your philosophy,
and one of the things that we talk about a lot is how rare it is that the behind the scenes actually matches the in front of the scenes in terms of people living in alignment. With what they say they believe in. Yes. I just want to start off by saying I admire that about you.
[00:00:49] Susie: Oh, thank you Kate. I've heard that a couple of times now, and I think that it must be pretty tricky to live any other way. Wouldn't it be?
[00:00:58] kate: I think it requires you to drink a lot probably. You know when there's like or do something to like deal with the cognitive dissonance of like saying one thing but actually doing the other thing.
Yeah. It'd just be a lot of friction. Yeah, okay. I think you're kind of a miracle in terms of, you know, you didn't start out with like any sort of special circumstances, and possibly some might argue the opposite, but I really love your whole perspective on things, and so I'm curious, can you just tell me a little bit about, like, weave, weave a picture, a little bit about, like, where the start of Susie Moore was, like, let's say like a brief snapshot of, like, Maybe five, eleven, seventeen.
[00:01:42] Susie: Yes, oh my gosh, I love this, I love this. Well, I had the blessing of an early challenge, which I think depending on your own life story, we can go in different ways, but when I was five, I was living in a series of different domestic violence shelters with my mom and sister. My dad has always, was always a drug and alcohol addict, and there was a lot of moving, a lot of chaos.
Anyone who's lived with an addict, or even if there's any mental illness in your history, you know that it's just a lot of unpredictable things happening all the time. So, Receiving that, being in that place at that early age, gave me a really strong desire. Just for stability, it wasn't even big back then.
But I remember just seeing my friends with their houses, with their own room, with two parents, with just this stable life that was, tomorrow's going to be the same as today, and this is what we do at the weekend, and we just know that nothing's really going to change in the middle of the night, so. Being young and having those challenges, I think just gave birth to me this real clarity about what I wanted and all I really wanted was a good job where I could wear nice clothes and a really safe, good husband.
Like, that really, that was it. And then, there was a series of so much more moving around the age of 11 still, it was still unstable and moving. And then by the time I was 17, I knew I was just going to be out of there. I, as much as I will always love and respect my parents, both of them, I just knew it was never going to be my life.
Never. Like, absolutely not. And so, I left home at 18, and I've been... I've been living in other countries ever since then, so I was recently in the UK, I'm very rarely there actually, but 20, seeing even the UK with 20 years of distance, I can still go back to who I was there, it's, it's really interesting how places can bring that out of you, but yeah, I lived in Australia, I lived in New York, I even lived in France for a while, and now here in Miami, with you, so, with me, with you, neighbors, nice and close, I love that, yeah,
[00:03:43] kate: So, not everyone who grew up in that situation would have this sense of like, I get to have something else.
Why do you think you had that sense so early?
[00:03:57] Susie: I think it's two things, right, because people often say, you know, challenges make you, and that can be true, but people often go in different directions with that. Yes. Right, often you can go into addiction, you can go into your own story, and there can be there can be paths that you take that don't get you the outcomes that you want.
And look, we see that happen all the time, no matter where you're starting out, right? It's not just like, you don't have to have a background like mine. Not at all. I mean, you can even look at the, the universe of heiresses and what happens to them. I mean, so, I think that part of it... It is, you know, what you form, the opinions that you form young, what you're around, the environment.
But also I think that we're all, we all come here with a unique desire and a unique purpose. And when we tune into that, I think, and if you're a child who spends a lot of time alone like I did, then I think you can kind of tap into that in a world too. See what, like, what's being said to you? Like, what's that voice that only you can hear?
And, so I think that partially it's environment, but I think that, I don't know, we're all here to do different things. And my sisters have taken different paths, and so I can credit a lot for my early upbringing, but I think if there's a voice that you can hear that's telling you to go for it, or that anything's possible, and I really think that that's true.
Anything is possible. It's not just like a cute thing to say. Then, If you just kind of trust that and tune out a lot of the noise, we can become pretty powerful. And most people never realize how powerful their minds are. And where they can go with like the right input. And I also discovered self help when I was 15.
[00:05:26] kate: Yeah, I was going to ask about that. So what was the first self help book you ever read and where did you, where and how did you find it?
[00:05:33] Susie: Okay. I'm obsessed with this book. Still. I still reread it every couple of years. The Magic of Thinking Big.
Kate: Oh yes. By David Schwartz.
Susie: Yeah.
Kate: Okay.
Susie: It is the best. It is a no excuses book. Like one of the, one of the, the statements essentially that really underpins the book is. No excuses. Don't blame anyone. You're responsible. And we see this reused in all self help now. I mean, and it's good. It's a great, but it's also a very spiritual foundation. It's, you know, who's responsible for your well being?
Who are we still blaming our parents? Are we still blaming our boss? Are we still blaming the government? Are we still blaming, you know, whatever situation? So this book really taught me a no excuses mentality, and also it said really strive and seek out people who you admire. Like always just pay attention to, you know, who's doing things in the world that you would like, that you love, that you think is cool.
Like always compare yourself to that person. Always, and that, that's where the comparison is in the best way. Yes. So The Magic of Thinking Big, I found it in a charity shop, we call them thrift stores here, for 50 pence. Which is like 75 cents, pretty much, and it, I was like, wow, because I didn't really have role models in real life, at that point.
And so I read this book and I could hear the American accent, you know, and I was like, yes! You know, back then, you know, in the book it'd say, success is taking care of your secretary and your wife, like making sure, like, making sure that all the ladies, and, you know. It's dated and like sexist, but I still loved it even as a teenager and no one was reading this, you know, but I was like, this is it.
And then I became obsessed with books ever since.
[00:07:09] kate: Do you remember the moment that you found it and like how it jumped out to you? Because again, not every 15 year old would be like, Yes, I'm going to buy this and read it.
[00:07:22] Susie: But isn't that also where that part of us that's just born to be is? Like, because someone else would be really interested in sci fi.Someone else would be really interested in making food.
[00:07:30] kate: No, you were destined for this industry, obviously.
[00:07:32] Susie: I love, I mean, it's in the, the cover's changed. It's different in so many different languages now. But it's like, you know Have everything you want. Accomplish everything. Have an incredible wealth.
Have incredible relationships. It was like a list of all the things you'll get and I'm like, Oh, sounds good.
[00:07:48] kate: Sounds good. Okay, great. Yeah. Well, and the beautiful thing about starting to do personal development work as a teen or as a younger person is that we, we haven't built up quite as many layers of resistance.
There's more impressionability and I also started reading personal development when I was like 14, 15. What was your first book? Louise Hay, her classic. Oh yeah. You can heal your life.
[00:08:09] Susie: Yeah, I love that too.
[00:08:10] kate: And then some Abraham Hicks in there too. But yeah, it was such a beautiful early programming because I was just like, Oh great, this is how the world works.
As opposed to being 35 or 40 and being like. Exactly. Okay. Mm-hmm. . So fast forwarding now. Mm-hmm. , you have moved to New York, you've got this tech job, you're making gobs of money. Yes. You know, relatively speaking, like really half million dollars a year. Yeah. I mean, frick, that's still a lot of money. And this was a long time ago.
Yeah. And I have no, there's no children.
[00:08:40] Susie: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Siphoning away, . Yes. No, it's all for me. Yeah. And my mom.
[00:08:47] kate: Yeah, right. Okay. Well, yeah. Right? Mm-hmm. Yes, you are. You are supporting some folks. Yes. And so, and also Coconut, which you didn't have her then. This is her duck. She's probably not that expensive.
But... At, at what point did you then begin to discover life coaching and start to go get trained? Because I want to know, this is like, I feel like an unlocking point of your let it be easy philosophy. Yes. So, but first tell me, how did you discover life coaching?
[00:09:18] Susie: Well, it wasn't that big, actually, when I got started, if you can believe it.
So it was 10 years ago. So what, 2012, something like that. I, I mean, I was really grateful for my job, right? It gave me all the perks. It gave me a great sense of security. I've also always been the breadwinner in my marriage, which I'm very proud of. I love that. I think it's something to celebrate. But I just knew it was actually around the age of turning 30.
Actually, my past life reader said that when we have decade, when we switch decades, We start to get real. A lot of things can kind of change. Like that's when our spirit really registers things differently. So I was turning 30 and I thought if anything were to happen and we never know, it can, right?
That's how we need to celebrate our lives. I, I know I haven't, like, left, I haven't left any of my life's work. Like, it's good work that I'm doing, but it's definitely not my life's work. And so, I just knew that something else was there. And I love helping people solve problems. I love talking deeply. I love helping people find solutions, looking at a problem another way.
I just, I know how powerful that is. And so, I actually just Googled a couple of life coaches in New York. I can't even remember how I came to even think of life coach, but I googled a couple and I asked them to meet with me, just for like lunch, and I met with two different coaches, and I saw how they did it, one man, one woman, I thought they had a great life, you know, they were charging by the hour, and I just remember thinking, like, this is really possible.
And so I signed up for NYU's life coaching certification, which I never finished by the way, but I saw my favorite part
But I started going on Saturdays and we were just doing exercises from a book like the the co active coaching book and I liked it But I was already I started coaching immediately. I started calling myself a coach overnight I started telling everybody in my elevator Put something up on my building link.
I'm available. Amazing rate. Let's go. You know, I just knew that in order to be a life coach, you have to coach, right? Same as if you want to be a writer, you got to write exactly. There is no getting around it. And I'm a big action taker. So under think it is such a big mantra of mine. Like let's just go under.
Thank you. I'm just thinking, all right. And I'm like, if I can just charge a hundred bucks an hour and someone, they were coming to my apartment at this point. Like, I remember Heath once said, You're so unsafe. I know. I think that now too, when you're younger, the things you do. Oh, the things I did.
[00:11:33] kate: The fact that we even made it.
[00:11:37] Susie: I know. Thank you. I know. But I remember one time a girl left and she was like, okay, I'm going to do it. And she ran out the door and he was coming home and he's like, did she just pay to hang out with you? Like what? And I'm like, it's a bit deeper than that, but essentially that's how much fun I was having with it.
And so I actually started coaching so much that I didn't have time to go to the classes. Like I was like, I've got the book, you know, I'm good. I mean, it was, it's a great place to educate yourself too. I was just like, I was immersed in it. And then I started getting media coverage because I was like, this has got to be big quickly.
[00:12:09] kate: Okay. Yeah. So that's the piece. So one of the things I love about you is you sort of look at the world and then you figure out something you want and then you look for the easiest way to get there. Yes. And you're not caught up in like the way people say. So like, you know, you didn't go to university.
Nope.
You just went right for the multi, multi six figure job.
Yes.
Like and you were making way more money than most people ever will who have. Some fancy degree. Yeah, you're just like yeah. Nope doesn't matter. Yes, and you know I'm sure there are a million other examples that I don't even know about from your life of like just let it be easy Like I don't have to do the shit that people say because you actually just don't have to mm hmm And so how did you first learn about getting media coverage as a leverage?
[00:12:54] Susie: Like easy button for growing your coaching business Yes. By accident, right? Or is it an accident? Right? This is always what I love to come back to. So I was in my cubicle till five o'clock every day. I had to be, right? That was like my job. And so I would just spend time like to fill the hours because look, I, I love my job, but when you walk in like the software industry, it's also client driven.
So you have big focus periods, then free periods. And so I would, you know, wait till five o'clock, like, counting down the clock, reading stuff online, right? Sites like HuffPost, Mind Body Green, Marie Claire, Business Insider. It's how I would just spend my afternoons, just consuming. Which is still totally what you do with your time.
Exactly! Yeah, and I recommend it! It gets so awesome, like, what's happening? What are the stories today? And one afternoon... So through the lens of a life coach now, right, a side hustling life coach, I noticed that a lot of the publications that I love to read created content around stuff that I love to coach on, like productivity, spirituality, confidence.
I remember even seeing stuff like what confident women do and don't do. And I'm like, I should be saying that, like this, this is where I, I know some stuff about this. And so consuming this content, just, you know, as someone like a regular reader or viewer, I thought, why don't I submit something? Like I don't know how this works any of it, but why not like there's got to be a way And so I was actually going to meet a friend for drinks in downtown Manhattan where I where I was working at the time And she was late.
I'm always early always and so I was sitting at the bar right waiting for like waiting for her with my martini and I'm like I'm just gonna submit under think it 600 words To mind, body, brain. Great. Right. So I was like, I'm just gonna, and so my very first piece, it was called, Noah's New Yes, Five Tips to Scaling Back Your Busy Life.
And the reason I wrote that was because I was working, traveling a lot, corporate stuff, and I had this side hustle, and I'm like, how am I managing it? People are interested. Because they were asking me, you know, have you got this business and a full time job? So I just wrote five tips, under think it, submit, and two weeks later, it 4, 000 shares on the first day.
And I was like, this is it. Like, because I don't believe a dream is put in your heart without the mechanics of its fulfillment. And I also knew that the more I just told people about my own stories and experience, the more they were just attracted to working with me. I couldn't, I'd even meet someone at a party, they'd go, what do you do?
I'd say, I'm a life coach. I wouldn't say who I work for, you know, this startup. I would say, oh, I'm a life coach and they'd say, oh, why did you get into that? And I'm like, well, you know, I've just, I've learned a few things, you know, I've, I've done this and that. And I really believe this and that. And so that's how they were attracted to me by just me sharing my own point of view.
And like, if someone's gone through a divorce, I'm like, I've gone through a divorce. You know, it's, I think it's pretty great news. Congratulations, you're going through a divorce. I always say that. Yeah,
[00:15:35] kate: see? Sometimes it rubs people the wrong way, but usually it's well received.
[00:15:38] Susie: Yeah, but that's okay. Like, that's also allowed.
It is okay.
[00:15:41] kate: Yeah. It is okay. Okay, so you just like pushed the easy button, you sent, you, you under thought it, you sent that submission to MindBodyGreen, you got published, and then what? You were like, wait a second. Yeah, and it had 4, 000 shares on the first day and then suddenly where did those people go right like cuz I think that a lot Of people don't understand What media does and why?
[00:16:08] Susie: Well for me It's like a red carpet leading people to anything that you want them to see right if it's a book or if it's a course Program membership, whatever but back then I had nothing set up. I didn't have a website Kate. I didn't have a Facebook business page. I had nothing. I just had a gmail address and a twitter account, right?
But as soon as I saw that I got serious I was like, okay now I need a website now. I need it. I'm like, oh, there's something called an opt in Where people can give me their email address. You know, I didn't, I had to figure that out quickly. But it's great to almost have the momentum first. It really is
[00:16:38] kate: because it keeps you so
[00:16:40] Susie: accountable.
Yes, and then I had a website with logos and content because I host the content again on my own blog. And so that first piece went live, then I went to HuffPost. Then I went to Marie Claire, and they gave me a daily column. Then I went to Business Insider. Then, then I was like, the world is my candy store, because you only need to, to get like one piece, in order to make everything so much easier.
As soon as you get a media win, you have an author page. Yeah, totally. And then you use that to get more and more media, but there are moving parts, and people overcomplicate this process, and they think that you have to be really fancy, or really, like, really qualified, or to have X amount of years in business.
You need, you know, 200, 000 TikTok followers. Well, actually, it's how you get a lot of those things. It's how you become the expert. It's how you do grow a following. It's how you are really elevated in the eyes of the world too. And you then got
[00:17:30] kate: all these clients and then you were too busy coaching them on Saturdays to complete your.
certification which was in theory supposed to teach you how to build a business, which you had already built. Yes, yes. Without doing all of that. Yes, yes, interestingly,
[00:17:46] Susie: yes. So that was that. That was that, yeah. But
[00:17:48] kate: didn't something happen where somebody, like, in your certification process, like, Can you say that part?
[00:17:54] Susie: Yes, yes. It was a series of different teachers at the school. And one of them, we became Facebook friends, she started seeing my features because I was sharing them. All I wanted was one on one clients. And I was like, you know, my latest piece, anyone looking for help with this, reach out to me on my Gmail.
But she actually asked me if she could collaborate with me to grow her business. And I remember thinking, like, It's interesting, isn't it? How, like, I thought I was going there to show up and learn, and there's tremendous value in that. Yes. But I felt like me taking the action and just doing the real life thing, that's where really all the momentum comes.
And so, studying something is wonderful and consuming is important, but if even the person who's teaching me is kind of looking to tap into what I'm doing, then maybe I'm just on the right track and I can just keep going. My way. Yeah, and there isn't the right way or the wrong way There's just your way in someone else's way and mine was walking for me I love
[00:18:52] kate: that and how long after you after that mind body green first feature Did you end up quitting your corporate job and going full time
[00:19:00] Susie: as a coach?
So I was side hustling for six months before that So before I had any media before I even knew that that was a thing that you could do and then one year later One
[00:19:09] kate: year after you were able to quit and that's been that.
[00:19:12] Susie: Yeah. That was it.
[00:19:13] kate: Yeah. Okay. I have many more questions. One of them
is at what point did you switch? Because so many people like do the one on one thing and then they realize like, Oh, it's, you know, I really want to be able to have a little bit more leverage and not be trading hours for dollars. So how did you discover about either group coaching or digital courses? And how did you start incorporating that into your business?
[00:19:40] Susie: I started learning about this, I think the way that anybody else does, seeing ads, having people talk about like, are you a coach? You this or that? Which is why it's so great to run ads. Right, by the way. And it's so great to be out there and seen smart. So I read, I read a couple of books. I read Jeff Walker's book, who is the grant?
The launch book? The launch book. Wow. I never read it. It's, I mean, it's a great book. He I mean it's dated now. Mm-hmm. I think it is over 10 years old. That's the
[00:20:01] kate: tricky thing, thing about writing books about digital.
[00:20:04] Susie: Business anything almost, Unless it's foundational principles. Yeah, yeah. Like, these timeless principles.
But, I read a, I read that book, I got it from a friend of mine, and then she's like, I'm going to his event, do you want to be in my plus one? Cool. And, so, I went to his event, I can't remember what year this was, but, I started to see, almost like the magic of thinking big, almost, people on stage, talking about how much money they were making.
And, I was like, huh, this is actually a really great comparison. Because if I'm making a few hundred bucks, Right, working each day, right, so I was increasing my rate steadily. But I'm like, if, if these people are making like real dough, then like, why not me? And it's possible, there is, I mean, there's many formulas to get there.
But I was like, okay. Let's go again. This is a real under thinking. Yeah. Yeah, and then I just did what I was told I followed the rules and then I think you start with a template and then you kind of figure out your of course
[00:20:58] kate: Of course, but it's so genius because they're so there's a lot of things I've learned from you One of them is I have like a complex about I've moved my children too much And, and I don't know if I've shared this with you, but you've really helped me to settle down about that.
Yeah. Because you're like, no, no, no, like me moving all the time. Tell me, tell me what you think the benefit of you moving all the time instead of me putting words in your
[00:21:19] Susie: mouth. Oh my gosh. Well, moving around a lot as a child, you go to different schools, you make different, you meet different friend groups.
You see how the world operates. It's not just like my town, my school, my playground. You have this, this expansion that you just, you realize that there's so much more and I think it can make you really confident because you've got no choice to be the new kid. Oh yeah, it's me again. Oh, I don't know that group.
I don't, you know, I don't know that teacher. So you're kind of, you know, I always just define confidence as being willing to be uncomfortable, right? And as you, when you're a kid, it's not up to you to be willing because you do as you're told. But if you're uncomfortable, it's not the worst thing. It is not the worst thing.
[00:21:57] kate: It is not the worst thing. And I think that this is just a message for parents. I think we need to stop trying to make parenting about not making, about like protecting our children from discomfort. Like our job as parents is not to protect them from discomfort. It is to help them to learn how to be uncomfortable and to increase their capacity to be with discomfort, which is a pretty consistent human experience.
[00:22:25] Susie: Because when else in life is it going to be comfortable? Is it going to be like, life is, I mean, life can be easy, or, you know. Yeah, easier, yes. But not comfortable all the time. Yeah, but wouldn't it be a first day of your job, and then the first time you're driving a car, and the first time you go out on a date.
All of it. So it's
[00:22:43] kate: not so you really helped me settle down about that, so thank you. Now of course I can't remember what I was going to ask you about. Oh yeah, no, no, so something that I see in you is
[00:22:52] Susie: just this like, you Oh, why not me? Mm
[00:22:56] kate: hmm. Why not me? And, and you do think, it seems like that was something you just were kind of born with.
Or, or can the why not me attitude be taught? And if so, how?
[00:23:09] Susie: Mm, well. It is true, I do think that if something's possible or available for someone, then it's possible or available for anybody. And, I know that there's nothing to earn, right, we didn't even choose to be here, but here we are in this specific moment in time.
You know, when I was a kid, because we relied so much on church donations, like for clothes and food and toys, My mom made us go to Sunday school, right? So she's like, we can't just take the staff without going to church, you know? So we went to Sunday school, and I remember just one teacher saying that we're all created equal.
Like, that's really the foundational piece of really any spirit. I'm not even speaking about any particular religion here, but it's like the golden rule, right? You treat others how you want to be treated because we're all equal. And then... For me, that just made so much sense. It's like, so if we're all equal, then Stephanie with her nice clothes, and nice home, and nice kind of normal vibe, if we're equal, then whatever Stephanie can do is also, it's just my situation is my situation.
Isn't that true that we are all equal? Like, think about it. If there's an accident somewhere, we're not like, save that person, not that person. Like, our life values. I mean, some people are, but they shouldn't be. Yeah, they shouldn't be. Right, exactly.
[00:24:24] kate: Yeah, it's not based on truth. Like, the truth with a capital T.
[00:24:27] Susie: Mm hmm. And if you see a group of children and there's a fire, you're not like, get that one. It's like, you, we're just equal here. Everyone's life. It's, it's not replaced. It's valuable. Yeah, and so, I think just having that. I absorbed it completely and never questioned it like if everyone's equal, that just makes sense.
It means that everything's possible depending on what it is you desire and then we treat everybody equally like that's it. And for me it was simple and I think the best things and most deep things are simple, totally. And one of the
[00:24:55] kate: benefits I remember where I was going before the benefits of having had, you know, the childhood experience you did and also not being raised in now.
Obviously, You've told me so much about how brilliant your mom is and how like into education she is So obviously that got instilled in you which is so incredible But like having been raised in a sort of like an unusual scenario That, like, you didn't have all these ideas of, like, all the checkboxes you have to check off in the ways that some people might get indoctrinated into, like, no, no, this is just how we have to do things.
So, there are benefits to everything, and I love the way you embrace that. And I'm curious, when you find yourself stuck on a belief that you know is not serving you, like the belief that other people may have, which you clearly do not, of, like, But, like, I don't get to have this, right, like a lot of people walk around feeling like that's for other people, that's for special people, not for people like me.
That's not something you struggle with. Yes. Which I love about it. Yes, yes. And it gives, you, you existing gives me a lot of permission, so thank you. Oh,
[00:26:03] Susie: oh, yay!
[00:26:05] kate: So, but, I know that you're human, and so you do struggle with it. limiting beliefs and, and stuff you get stuck on that you know is not serving you.
When that happens, what do you do
[00:26:16] Susie: first? Wow. From all the self help that I've done over the years, I know that if something feels bad, feels uncomfortable, feels heavy, makes me feel inadequate, or there's those ugly emotions that can have us ache or feel separated from each other, I know that I just need to do some thought work.
Like, I, it's like an immediate feedback signal. This is how amazingly we're designed, right? You know how there's physical pain? Step away. Like, that's not healthy. That's, yeah. Yeah, right. Yeah. If
[00:26:46] kate: the stove is hot, don't touch it.
[00:26:48] Susie: Yeah, and it's like, if, if there is something happening and it hurts, like something needs to stop or something needs to change, you need to like step away.
So if I start feeling anxious or scared about something, or I compare myself to somebody, I know that it's just a thought, even regret. Like, it's just a thought. And so, I like to catch it really early. It's like a magical trick. Like, if you, if I can start going down the road of, I should be further ahead. I shouldn't be spending this much money.
My husband's being, I won't spoil your like, my husband is being an ex. Like, I will go, like early, like a dog, you know, like ears up, like wait, wait. And I have this ring, it says B, but I think about belief examination. A belief examination. Always. It's like a bit of a reminder when I hold it. Smart. And so it's like, whatever road I'm going down, it's wrong.
So it's actually, my emotions are telling me in real time, always, that I just need a bit of a course correction. And it's not a dramatic flip, but instead of saying, or starting a fight, or engaging one if I can feel it coming, I'll say, I think you might just be stressed out. Right? Or if I start saying, you know, I should be further ahead, I'll go, I don't know, like me a couple years ago, I don't know, maybe I'd be quite happy with this.
Or me when I was five, like I'd be quite happy with this. We need to do that. Like most people take no responsibility for this. And that's why we see people who are like really angry with each other and mean to each other and mean to themselves. Like, and so if you can catch it, the earlier the better.
With any momentum with our thinking, but that's why our emotions is such an incredible feedback loop telling us if we're on the right thinking path. And to me, it really is that simple. Okay, this is great.
[00:28:35] kate: So I have further
[00:28:35] Susie: questions.
[00:28:36] kate: Now, what about sometimes, like cause you and I have talked about this, sometimes just needing to have a scream fest.
Or sometimes just needing to have a good cry. Like, do you think that that's useful? Do you try to keep that at bay with thought work? Tell me more about that.
[00:28:53] Susie: I think that when you've got a lot of emotions, you have to like let them, let them out. Ideally just not harming anybody. Because, but that's typically people who love to get the brunt, you know.
But like whatever it is you need to do, do it and don't judge, right? Some people, maybe you need something, maybe, like, maybe you do need to buy something or have a drink. Like, whatever works for you, so long as it's healthy in the longer term, like there's no real damage done, do whatever you need to do. I mean, we all have different coping mechanisms.
We don't need to shame any of them or judge any of them. And yeah, if you scream sometimes, people feel so guilty they scream at their kids. It happens, right? People scream at each other. I do
[00:29:29] kate: sometimes yell at my kids. Yeah, you think you're the only one? And then I just
[00:29:32] Susie: apologize. And isn't that a wonderful lesson to see?
I think
[00:29:36] kate: it is. That's, I've been told that the repair is more powerful than the injury. Yeah, because mom can
[00:29:45] Susie: be wrong. And it's okay.
[00:29:46] kate: And I want to show them that you don't have to be perfect to be, except for then my children say things like, I don't want to have kids, and I say, why? And they say, it looks really hard.
[00:29:55] Susie: And I'm
[00:29:56] kate: like... I might be being a little too honest. But you're so yes, like, let it
[00:29:59] Susie: out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But the ongoing stuff, the stuff that we carry for a long time...
[00:30:03] kate: It becomes chronic. Yes. Is that kind of when you know like if you're feeling chronically every day sad or chronically every day anxious or even if it lasts a whole day probably for you that would be an indication of like.
Yeah. I'm having a
[00:30:17] Susie: thinking error here. Or if someone's thinking like, you know, I feel really burnt out or I'm always tired or I'm always feeling like I'm behind, you know, I don't know, what are you like look at that honestly. And then, okay, what. Some people like to be in that place for a while, like maybe you don't want to take any action.
And排 Yes. Hey, what's wrong with that? Sometimes we needed to take a break from life.
[00:30:35] kate: Right. What do they call that as? Like a negative payoff or Yeah. I mean,
[00:30:39] Susie: What is that? Everything is always serving as a present goal. Exactly, Right. So, maybe you just need to have a break and thats very human. So, But I think that there's the problem that we have, whatever it is, like I'm behind, right?
Or whatever I'm frustrated with. Somebody. And then the judgment of the problem. and that's where. Yes. The misery is, right? Like, it's
[00:30:57] kate: 100%. So, it's like Yes, we really can make ourselves miserable
[00:31:01] Susie: by the way we think. Oh, we're so good at it. Yeah. Like, we're so good at it. Yeah. And we haven't got that long on Earth, you know.
And
[00:31:06] kate: are you able to sort of self coach yourself in those situations?
[00:31:12] Susie: How does anybody else do it? Like, you can't call somebody all the time. Like, you can't wait for your session on Thursday, you know, like, In misery. You gotta do it. And by Thursday, it's long gone. Like, it's already forgotten, you know. But if you catch it early, like that, and if you get it late, it's still better, like, to catch it.
But I feel like in those early few moments, we can really elevate with an emotion, and we don't have to.
[00:31:35] kate: And you can train yourself, so you have that Spidey sense to be like,
[00:31:38] Susie: Yes. A soothing thought. A soothing thought. Do you have
[00:31:42] kate: any like go to soothing thoughts that you just turn to that help immediately in almost any situation?
[00:31:50] Susie: Yes. Well, what I've learned, and this is through the work of Alfred Adler, who I really love. He says that all problems, without exception, are interpersonal problems. So they're all people problems. Like there are no problems that exist that don't involve someone else. And so, one thing that I do, because often our frustration is at other people.
Right? Or any negative emotion we feel. It's not, it can feel like it's in isolation. Maybe it's even about our looks, for example. But often it's because someone else looks a certain way. Right? Or there's some, some illusion that there's a competition. But what I've learned through his work, because all problems are interpersonal, if I feel frustration towards somebody, or any negative emotion, I immediately will think a sweet thought about them.
So I, I coached a friend of mine through this recently, who really doesn't like her stepkid. That's hard. It's, it's hard. Yeah, she's in a new relationship, and there's this young girl, and this girl's scared, right? It's change, and, so we spoke about that, and then I was like, tell me two sweet things about her.
And then she said, you know, in the middle of the night when she was sick my friend was in the kitchen, and she just ran up and gave her a hug, and then ran back to bed. And then the second time she went shopping to buy like just some bits and pieces, kid stuff, and she bought her a panda because she saw that she was watching a documentary and she's like, I saw you like pandas, so some of her allowance went to this like little panda toy.
So I'm like, the next time you're like you get that anger that why is this happening? Can you just remember that, that hug and the panda? I'm like, literally say hug panda in your mind. Like can you, I, I think sweet thoughts about my husband sometimes when I really don't want to, you know, I'll just go.
I remember that time when I was sick and he just cleaned it up and he was, he was so funny about it. It's very sweet. but you can, isn't
[00:33:35] kate: it true though? You really can. And you know what? That creates a whole biochemical reaction and a cascade of things in your body that literally change your state of being and boost your immune system.
and make you healthier and add to your longevity. So it's also a huge protocol.
[00:33:53] Susie: I just go, it feels good. And that's all you need to know. Go in the direction of the, like the sun, right? This feels good. And so if I'm feeling like, Oh, crazy. I'm like, ah, no, actually. Remember that? Remember that cute? You can even do this with strangers, like on the internet.
Who like annoy you, say it's even a celebrity. You're like, oh she's so entitled. Hey, we all have these dumb thoughts, right? I'm like, well, I saw her like, give, made a big donation recently for Or, hey, she's been, three of her husbands left her. Like, come on, she's just a woman like the rest of us. So, you can do this, and if you can counteract a negative, or hateful, or thought with something that's true, it has to be true, it has to be true, then...
Well, well, well. See how you feel different in 10 seconds. And it's not,
[00:34:37] kate: so I think it's really important to highlight that you're not doing this for them. We're doing it for you.
[00:34:41] Susie: It's always for us. Yeah. It's so good.
[00:34:44] kate: Okay, so something that you mentioned earlier is that you've, you've, you've largely been the primary breadwinner.
Yes. In your relationship. And Yes. For many women who I work with, this is a sticking point and for myself this has been a growth area in a variety of ways, which Mike and I talked about in our episode earlier. Yes, can't wait to
[00:35:04] Susie: listen. Yeah, yeah.
[00:35:05] kate: We've done, oh my god, I've done so much work around it, so much growth.
So I'm curious for you, what feels so good about it and how do you see Being the breadwinner in your, in your marriage. And I know now you run your company together, so like, maybe it's slightly different, but in the earlier days.
[00:35:23] Susie: Okay, this might sound very odd, but I've never, ever thought about it as a problem.
I've always, truly, like, have I, did I not get some message about it? Like, I think, I think very differently when it comes to, you know, who makes the money. Number one, I don't think it's that important. Yeah, every dollar that comes into your home is a cause for celebration, right? Like the, where it comes from.
I mean, that's our stories and our attachments and judgements, right? But I, I've always thought that if I can be the breadwinner, the person who say, you know, brings in like the, brings in the most money each month, then cool. Like, isn't that so cool? I mean, you never see it in the reverse, right? I, I have friends a lot of my, I would say, Not all, but a lot of my friends are the breadwinners in their home.
And you never ever get the reverse where it's like a guy is trying to hide how much money he's making in case his wife feels weird. You know, like in my, in my, in my, in my tech room, one of my friends worked at Twitter, her husband worked at Disney and she's like, I'm going to hide my bonus this weekend because I don't want him to be weird all weekend.
Because his bonus was like one third and I'm like, you're hiding something that should be celebrated. And then she was always talking up how much money he earns and I'm like, I'm like, it just didn't feel honest. It just wasn't honest. I don't know why it matters, the source of the income. And frankly, I like it.
I like it because I feel like probably I get to also lead the charge a bit in terms of where we live. And what we want to do and if I want to give money to like my family that's it's not something that I feel weird having a conversation around but it's only really when I'm ever asked about it that it even comes to my mind because I think that if your marriage especially is permanent.
Or at least you hope it is, you know, it never really knows, but you're in it then like that's your wealth, right? And if you have a family it's theirs and totally but I think the female breadwinner conversation to me It's also in my own opinion like an it's not like a 90s. Like I don't feel like well I think you
[00:37:28] kate: are somebody who is on the leading edge In many ways.
And I, I, I appreciate this about you. And Susie wrote a great article for Business Insider about this, about like 10 things people don't understand about something. Yeah,
[00:37:40] Susie: what people don't understand if you're the breadwinner.
[00:37:42] kate: Yeah. Yeah, so we'll link that in the show notes. Because it was a great one.
And then Heath wrote a follow up article and it was also great. So we'll put those both in. Yay! I found, I found them really, really helpful. Okay. Okay. So. I love that. Now I want to know if you were to be able to go back in time and tell your fresh out of high school, well you don't call it high school in the UK but, I
[00:38:04] Susie: know what you mean.
What do you call it? Oh, comprehensive. Oh, okay. Secondary school. So
[00:38:09] kate: if you were able to go back in time and tell your fresh out of secondary something about money that you would want to impart on her, what would that be?
[00:38:20] Susie: Go for it. Like, go for all the money. I love it! Well, why not?
[00:38:25] kate: Go for all the money.
I love that. Go for all the money. Yeah. And
[00:38:28] Susie: I think I think that's still what I would tell myself now. And what I do.
[00:38:34] kate: Yeah. And also accurate. That's how you live. Go for the money. Okay, and then final question is, What does plenty make you think of or feel like? What is plenty to you?
[00:38:46] Susie: I love the word. I'm so happy this is the name of your podcast.
I love it. My dad, who is English, and who really did love to take care of people when he was capable of doing so, he'd always say it's good to have plenty. Like, better to have plenty than not enough. And it was always a very generous, lovely energy that surrounded that word. And to me, it just feels like the truth.
Plenty, to me, is the truth. I love that.
[00:39:11] kate: Thank you, Susie. Thank you.
[00:39:13] Susie: I love you.
[00:39:15] kate: So if people want to connect with you, I know you and I have something coming up. Yes. And tell
[00:39:20] Susie: folks what that is. We have an, oh, this way, this way. Doesn't really matter. Oh, here. Okay. We have an incredible workshop, Kate and I, coming up.
You can head to getrockstarpr. com forward slash Kate, it's live. It's going to be a treat. We'll be there hanging out, answering your questions. And it's all about getting media coverage and going bigger with your message, which is why we're all here. Totally.
[00:39:43] kate: And of course, we want them to listen to Let It Be Easy, your podcast, and follow you on all the places.
I adore you. Thank you for being my friend and
[00:39:51] Susie: neighbor. Oh, thank you, Kate. You too.
[00:39:53] kate: Thank you for tuning into this episode of Plenty with my dear friend Susie Moore. I hope it filled you up as much as it filled me up. So, of course, please subscribe if it was helpful for you, share it with a friend, and please follow us on all the social places.
I'll see you next time.
Woohoo! You made it to the end of an episode of Plenty! Don't you feel expanded already? So if you liked this episode, go ahead and Leave us a review, subscribe to the podcast, text a friend and let them know they need to listen in. That helps us spread the word so more people can experience plenty together.
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This is the kind of thing that is often only shared behind closed doors but now... You can access it totally for free. So head over to kate northrup. com forward slash breakthroughs and get the guide. Again, that's kate northrup. com forward slash breakthroughs. And I'll see you next time for plenty.