Traffic School

This week’s Traffic School episode was a caffeine-fueled descent into microphone chaos, cowboy confessions, vehicular disasters, and livestock litigation — a full-blown Idaho fever dream masquerading as public service radio. It began with broken chairs, cursed microphones, and Lieutenant Crain being forced to co-host amid technical ruin and laughter so thick it could clog a carburetor. Then Viktor — fingernails painted and spirit unbroken — announced he’d soon shave his beard to become a woman for a Halloween metal show, sparking a debate about masculinity, karaoke, and the fashion implications of cowboy hats and no pants.

From there, the lines exploded with callers: Carl, the eternal promoter, hijacked the show to turn it into an infomercial for his Toys for Tots car meet — complete with dental conspiracies, collapsing Corvettes, and tales of mothers who locked their children out until the streetlights came on. When the hosts finally escaped Carl’s gravitational pull, Brandon called in mid-delivery, nearly hitting a squad of right-wing goats and asking whether he’d be jailed for goat-slaughter-by-accident. Lieutenant Crain, a beacon of composure, explained open range law like Moses reading traffic codes from Mount Sinai, while Viktor dissolved into laughter.

Rory followed with a rant about construction zones so nonsensical he questioned the sobriety of Idaho’s highway planners, prompting a philosophical tangent about airborne bridges and “drug-tested cone alignment professionals.” The chaos climaxed when the hosts debated whether Boise deserves more metal on the airwaves, shouting at imaginary programmers to “quit being afraid of the metal!” as if Iron Maiden were a civic duty.

By the end, no lesson in traffic safety was learned, several laws were accidentally broken on-air, and yet everyone left spiritually enriched — high on laughter, coffee, and the strange brotherhood of Idaho radio. It was Traffic School in name only, but in spirit? It was a transcendental Idaho road trip through madness, metal, and goats.

What is Traffic School?

The official replay of the weekly KBear 101 live call-in show featuring Viktor Wilt and Lieutenant Marvin Crain of the Idaho State Police. Join the show with your questions live every Friday morning at 8:45AM at RiverbendMediaGroup.com!

All right, we're, we'll, we'll attempt to use that mic, but yesterday, we had some major problems, so I might have to kick you over to mic number three there.

I was gonna ask, did you fix my mic?

No, [laughs] the answer is no.

[laughs]

No.

Just like the chair. [laughs]

[laughs] Well, at least my chair didn't get the, uh, you know, same kind of action going on today that Josh's at class he did yesterday, when it just snapped in half and he almost, you know, just crashed to the ground. Yeah, only the best.

[laughs]

You know, I complain about the chairs. I'm not exaggerating, these chairs are junk. [laughs] Jade, I know you're listening, chairs, buddy, we need chairs. [laughs]

How long did we ask for phones and never got them?

Um, yeah, it's been many years, and we've still got the same cruddy phone too.

[laughs]

So-

Yes. [laughs]

Uh, he did get me a- a webcam though and some lights, so, m- d- you know, we got something.

Yeah.

We got something.

Don't, don't... I don't know what to say. [laughs]

[laughs] Well, as you can hear, everybody, we got Lieutenant Crane of the Idaho State Police in here, getting ready for some Traffic School powered by the Advocates Injury Attorneys, so we want you to get ready to call us at 208-535-1015 and talk to us on the radio. It's been a r- it's been a rough morning here.

This background music makes me wanna call. [laughs] It's good. [dramatic music]

You will call us. [laughs]

[laughs]

It's my scary mu- my intimidation music. [dramatic music] If you don't call... I don't know, what- what kind of music could I play? I, I'll play that song, "What's he building in there?"

[laughs]

Over and over until we get callers.

I heard something on a- a sports radio channel, and they played Conway Twitty, The Rose, [laughs] that really slow country song, to get people to call. [laughs]

That's... We've probably got it in the system. Let me, let me take a look here. The Rose?

The Rose by Conway Twitty. He'd done a remake. He actually

made the top hits with it, but-

Oh, there it is

... it- it's slow.

I've got it right here. So, if- you wanna hear a little sample, everybody? [lullaby music] This is what you're gonna get.

It's a nursery [laughs] hymn to put your kids to sleep.

Yeah, I thought Conway Twitty was an outlaw.

Uh-

What is this?

Until this day.

Some say love-

Oh, yeah, this is pretty bad. [laughs]

[laughs]

And is a river.

[laughs]

[laughs] Oh, no, I've heard this.

[laughs]

And his mouth like Tyree.

I'd like to hear you sing this with your electric guitar.

I, I could do a... I can do the Conway Twitty voice.

[laughs]

I, I got cowboy in me.

I, [laughs], we've talked about this a couple weeks ago.

[laughs] I'm from Idaho.

[laughs]

Yeah.

Can you swear up and down... No, I had clothes on plus a cowboy hat. [laughs]

[laughs] Nothing better than only shoes and a cowboy hat.

[laughs] And karaoke.

That's right. Singing Conway Twitty, that's right. [laughs]

[laughs]

So we'll take a quick break, everybody, and then you fools start calling us.

Hey, I don't know, that's when you don't wanna be in the thorns. [laughs]

[laughs] Well, what better place than the desert, right?

[laughs]

Yeah, all those snakes and scorpions and, uh, the jumping cactus.

[laughs]

Yeah, great. [laughs]

[laughs]

Make sure to stay on the nature trail, everybody.

[laughs]

[laughs]

And don't drink so much you can't... [laughs]

Yeah, no stumbling.

[laughs]

You don't wanna be stumbling in the desert on the nature trail with no clothes on. It's a bad time.

Uh. [upbeat music]

Traffic School Party Time, powered by The Advocates Injury Attorneys, and, uh, you were complimenting my fingernails when you walked in today. Don't they look very pretty?

If the person that done 'em is listening, [laughs] yes, they look great. [laughs]

[laughs] Yeah, no, um, you know, we were hanging out last night, did some, uh, Halloween shopping.

Shots? [laughs]

No, no shots. Shots and, uh, work day the next day, for me, not a good combo.

[laughs]

Very bad combo. Uh, shots in- in general for me, but you know-

I, I've seen things like this happen to people that maybe pass out in the night.

[laughs] Yeah, no, I was awake.

Okay.

I was fully awake.

All right.

And, uh, my, uh, girlfriend's daughter was, you know, she painted all our nails, so... But also, there was a reason for it and it's 'cause, uh, I'm hosting a metal show tonight, Halloween party at the Hart.

Oh.

18 plus, and, uh, I'm gonna dress up like a lady tonight.

Oh.

Yeah.

That shouldn't be hard for you to pull off. [laughs]

[laughs] It should be. It should be.

I said shouldn't be.

Oh, shouldn't be.

Yeah.

No, I think it's gonna be tough.

Is the goatee gone?

[laughs] I'm gonna shave the beard off.

Get out.

I'm going all out. If- if you're gonna commit, you're gonna commit. I'm scared to 'cause I haven't shaved my beard off in like 15 years, but, uh, you know, I don't wanna look like the bearded woman, so, you know...

[laughs]

[laughs]

I wanna be attractive.

I wanna look hot, okay?

[laughs] I got the body for it.

We'll talk more- we'll... [laughs] I totally do. Yeah.

Yeah, you don't. [laughs]

[laughs] We'll talk more about this in a few.

Please. [laughs]

So we gotta caller. Okay, Barry, you're live on Traffic School, powered by The Advocates Injury Attorneys. Who's this?

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!

Yeah. [claps]

How you guys doing? [laughs]

Doing great, Carl, and, uh, I understand, if I remember correct, you've got an event happening, is it Sunday?

So we just thought about-

Yes sir, it is Sunday

... going to his promotions now. [laughs]

[laughs] That's right, we're- we're just gonna plug events on the show.

All right, everybody, calm down, we gotta go to Carl. [laughs]

[laughs]

Yeah. I- I should have been- I should have been in marketing. I- I don't know what I'm doing here.

Yeah. [laughs] Just start calling in to any live show you can find.

[laughs]

Exactly.

But at least this time it's for a good cause.

[laughs]

Oh, yes sir, it is.

Not for a bunch of beer belly old guys with a bunch of money. [laughs]

[laughs]

Oh, dang. So, uh, yeah, Sunday, 10:00 to noon. Uh, we'll get this out of the way real quick-

[laughs]

[laughs]

Uh, 10:00 to noon. [laughs]

The, uh, Toys for Tots Toy Drive. Uh, Thomas Meadows, uh, who's with Idaho Baseheads, uh, he's been doing this for, oh, uh, seven, eight years? Something like that.

Yeah, something like that.

[laughs]

But, uh, it's- it's a really good cause you guys. And, uh, and, uh, yeah, we're doing the trunk or treat afterwards. Plenty of candy for the kids, all that, you know, so, uh-

We'll load 'em up-

Come on down

... and we'll send them home. [laughs]

[laughs]

Yeah. I... Oh, man. Well, we will wind your kids up and, and I, I don't know. I'm partnered with a dentist, you know? So, yeah. [laughs] That's kinda... [laughs]

[laughs] Those dentists-

My h-

... are real smart. It's, "Here, lots of sugar, kids."

Oh, man.

"Get them cavities going."

My ki- my kid's My kid's teachers always said that the day after Halloween was the worst day of the year. [laughs] I mean, these kids are all wound up from the sugar and they're crashing and, yeah, it's horrible.

Victor's teacher said every day he showed up. [laughs]

Yeah, pretty much. [laughs]

Mm-hmm. Oh, when I was in school, oh, every day I showed up was a bad day. [laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs] Wouldn't you like to be homeschooled? [laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs] Right. Oh, no. My mom was, like, out of the house, man.

[laughs]

You can't-

I mean, most, mo- most parents say, "You come home when the lights come on." My mom was like, "You don't come home until the lights come on." [laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

Yeah. Oh, it's funny. No, no, I feel you on the technical difficulties, man. Oh, so, uh, yeah, I dropped the rear... I sheared all five, all five lug nuts on the rear end of the Corvette and the tire just dropped. Uh, luckily I was only doing three miles an hour.

Yeah.

If I'd have been doing 45 miles an hour-

On a break stand burnout. [laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs] No, I mean, I was like... Yeah, everybody asked me that, right? "What were you doing, a burnout?" I was literally doing three miles an hour.

That's a excessive-

And the tire-

... show of power, exhibition of power.

That's right, you're going to jail, Carl.

[laughs]

Right. Yeah.

[laughs]

Telling on myself.

Kids, that's illegal. [laughs]

[laughs]

Right? But yeah, if I, if I would've been doing 45 miles an hour down Garrett Way, it would've ripped the whole backend of that fiberglass off. Oh, that, that could've been really bad. So, uh-

We were just-

Anyways, I'm on YouTube University-

... pondering how bad it could've been. [laughs]

[laughs]

Yeah. [laughs] So I'm, I'm on YouTube University this morning to figure out how to fix the damn thing, and my phone crashes and I'm like, "How am I gonna call into... Uh, how am I gonna call into Care Bear?" So I had to borrow my buddy's phone, [sniffs] but, uh-

That's why you-

Yeah, all kinds of-

You accepted the call. We didn't notice and not recognize the number.

Yep. [laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

Oh, no doubt. Oh, and by, by the way, I found... Uh, I'm gonna remake the song, What's He Building There? It's about my dogs outside my door going, "What's he eating in there?"

[laughs]

[laughs]

I can hear the wrapper crunching. "What's he eating in there?"

[laughs]

I thought it was 16 ounce soup cans. [laughs]

[laughs]

Yeah. [laughs] No sir, because I can't afford much else.

16 ounce, uh, hams, liquid soup cans.

Yeah. [laughs]

[laughs] I know he is got that ramen in there.

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

No doubt. Oh, man. So hey, quick question, uh, as far as traffic school goes. So last week we talked about-

Oh, yeah. [laughs]

[laughs]

If you don't care about... No, huh? It's like, I don't know. You know, it's like, if you don't care about your wife and kids, you can throw them in the back of the truck, take them down to the store. So along that lines, could I get the whole band on a flatbed? Re- I don't know if you guys are old enough to remember when MTV actually had videos on the air. And Dokken put out the video, what about... Uh, It's Not Love, and they had the whole band on the flatbed of a truck. Is that legal?

Ah, go ahead and do it. [laughs] It won't last long. [laughs]

[laughs]

No. [laughs] I mean, we're not Dokken.

I remember, uh, in a parade one time and, uh-

Oh, yeah

... I was, I was drumming for a drill team and my buddy had agreed to drive the pickup. And so I'm, I'm in, set up in the back of a pickup and he's driving along. I'm drumming to this drill team. And, uh, all of a sudden my head bounces off the back window of the pickup. [laughs]

[laughs] He hit the brakes. [laughs]

And, uh, what happened? He rear-ended a Corvette. [laughs]

Oh. Oh.

You just made Carl feel a big pain in his chest.

Oh.

Oh, oh.

It was bad. It was a classic Corvette and he just smashed. And we were in a brand new-

Oh.

Uh, they let us borrow a brand new pickup off the lot, and so it mashed the grille and the bumper out of it. [laughs]

[laughs]

Oh.

We separated, we fini- finished the parade. I... The Corvette pulled off, but-

[laughs]

Oh yeah.

You kept on drumming.

Oh, okay.

Yeah. You just gotta-

Oh, you, you-

... buckle up sometimes. [laughs]

Oh. [laughs]

The show must go on. That's actually crying.

[laughs]

[laughs]

Right. Good for him. He's on the sidelines crying his eyes out. [laughs]

[laughs]

No doubt.

So-

Oh, my word. Oh, right on. Well, sweet. Yeah, I appreciate you guys. Anyways, yeah, uh, KeyBank, Yellowstone, Yellowstone Alameda and Pocatello. Uh, KeyBank Wells Fargo parking lot from, uh, 10:00 to noon. Uh, Toys for Tot Drive. Uh, Idaho Bassheads. Uh, Idol Classics, Modern Muscle, Pocatello Car Group. Uh, we're all gonna be there.

Yeah, get all the sponsors, Carl.

[laughs]

[laughs]

Oh, we're all gonna be there. Oh, we have guys from Burley. Uh, we have guys-

Oh. [laughs]

Burley's coming. [laughs]

Yeah, I know.

Carl, you're trying to get people to show up to this event. [laughs]

You know?

Oh yeah, no. I mean, I mean the car guys. We'll, we'll be fat and happy with all the candy we're bringing, but no, we're bringing it-

You guys are already fat. [laughs]

Oh. [laughs]

Oh yeah, no, exactly. We're just gonna get fatter. [laughs]

Um-

We're just getting fatter, so-

All right, ladies and gentlemen-Thank you for turning into It's All About Carl. [laughs]

That's right. We hope you enjoyed the Carl Show today.

[laughs] That's it. It's- it's Toys for Tots drive, man.

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

Oh, no doubt. But yeah, $10 toys, you know?

[laughs]

[laughs]

I mean, come on down, hang out, man. It's a good cause. It really is, man. I mean, make a kid's Christmas that much better.

Absolutely.

No doubt.

Very cool, Carl.

Right on, right on. Well, sweet. Well, hey, you guys have a good weekend. Hope to see you down there, man.

Sounds good.

You have a good one, Carl.

All right, we'll talk to you soon.

You too.

And if you'd like, you can celebrate Thanksgiving before Christmas. [laughs]

[laughs]

Exactly. [laughs] Right on. All right, you guys have a good weekend, man.

You too, Carl.

We will.

See you.

Bye.

Hey there, you're live on Traffic School or Carl Show.

[laughs]

Powered by the Advocate's Injury Attorneys. Who's this?

It's Brandon again. [laughs]

Brandon, what's up?

How's it going? Oh, just working. I'm gonna have to find a place to pull off the road so I can safely talk. [laughs]

Oh, you called while driving?

Is this a meaningful conversation?

[imitates heart pounding]

[laughs]

You gotta be pre-

Yeah.

You gotta be prepared, Brandon.

And actually, like-

Do you need a safe place?

Yeah. [laughs]

Do you want me to put you on hold and come back to you?

Uh, no, I'm o-

[laughs]

[laughs]

I'm, uh, no, I'm, like, five seconds away from a safe place to pull over.

Hey, do you know how many, uh, feet you can travel in five seconds? [laughs]

[laughs]

Yeah. Quite a bit.

So Brandon, what you got for a question for us today?

Well, you'll need a little bit of context first. So, here's the-

[laughs]

Yeah, go ahead and take a few minutes. [laughs]

[laughs]

Yeah.

It's not like, you know, we haven't had people on just babbling endlessly.

[laughs]

Just playing, Carl.

[laughs]

Yeah. [laughs] All right. So the setup-

Oh, pay attention.

You know, I'm driving out here in the country doing my delivery route, and about a couple hundred feet ahead, I saw four goats on the right-hand side of the highway.

Does it matter whether they were left or right?

And I knew...

Or just that it was goats? [laughs]

Well, it doesn't matter if they were on the left or right. Yeah, they're right-wing goats.

[laughs]

[laughs]

And I... and I looked at them, measured them up. I knew those little guys were gonna jump right in front of me probably. So I got into the left lane since there was no oncoming traffic.

And sped up.

[laughs]

And sure enough... [laughs]. Well, uh, they- they still managed to jump in front of me.

Oh.

And I had to slam on the brakes. And I stopped about three or four inches away from hitting one of them. So my question is, would I have been left off the hook because it was the goat's fault for jumping out in front of me, or would I have been, like, maybe fined or jailed?

Ooh, it's a great question. You're out there in the country, so this is a great topic, thanks for bringing it up. What- what comes into play here is, is it open range? And if it's open range, you and your insurance would be responsible for replacing the farmer's goat.

Okay.

If it's not open range, the farmer would be responsible for fixing your car.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

Well, that's good to know, because in, uh, 2018 I was in Colorado. It was nighttime.

Uh, yeah, let's go back there. [laughs]

[laughs]

There's no moon.

No moon, my headlights weren't the best, and I... There was a brown cow on the road, so I, you know, steered around him. And once I got past him, I looked at him, and while I was looking at him to make sure I was clear, I hit something else and it crushed my passenger side of my car completely in like a pancake.

Yeah, that's called the barn.

[laughs]

I'm like, "What in the world, what in the world did I hit?" I got out my flashlight and I-

The barn.

Apparently I slammed into a black cow. I just couldn't see anything 'cause it was so dark outside, you know?

Yup. So, yeah, it all depends if it's open range or not. And now, believe me, there's a lot of open range still in Idaho.

Yeah. I almost got a ticket for that one, but they... The police in that situation just let me off the hook.

You, they can't cite people for being out on the road. [laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

Under that code. That's pedestrian on the roadway, not open range violation. [laughs]

[laughs] Well, uh, glad you missed the goats-

Uh-

... man, the little goats. I mean, do- do farmers send their goats out on the open range? It tends to be a cow thing, right?

Yeah, it's cow, sheep.

It's usually- usually cows.

Yeah.

But I think those goats just happened to, uh, get out of their pen or something. I've seen horses out on the road before.

Yeah.

No way.

Hanging out on the side of the road.

[laughs]

Well, cool, dude.

[laughs]

I'm glad you missed the goats.

Well, that's a fresh picture.

Glad it only went down clearly.

Well, I better get back to my job. [laughs]

Well, good to hear from you, Brandon. Hope you have a good day, man.

All right, thanks guys. Have a good weekend.

You too, man. See you.

Cool. [laughs]

[laughs]

I didn't, I didn't know what to say. [laughs]

Hey there, live traffic school powered by the Advocates. Um-

Hey there.

Howdy. Who's this?

[laughs] This is Rory.

Rory, what's up dude?

Hey, so I was wondering, have you driven through any of the construction zones over on this side of the state and just thought what the, uh, drug policy of the construction company did?

[laughs]

'Cause some of them just make no sense to me.

[laughs]

[laughs]

And, you know-

Like, specifically I'm talking about have you gone from Yellowstone Highway to the freeway in Shelley? Uh, me myself, not recently. Uh, I- I-

I haven't traveled it either.

Or, uh, or north of Pocatello there on I-15 is another great example of just-

Let's just pick one. [laughs]

[laughs]

... construction zones that make no sense. Okay, so remember I was coming over here from Boise, and I was coming up north from Pocatello, and they had a left lane closed and a right lane closed sign ahead of me.

And when you finally got up there, they were there-

They were trying to get him to tell you to go back to Boise. [laughs]

[laughs]

Yeah, apparently. Yeah, I don't know. They closed the right, or they closed the left two lanes and had just the right lane and the right shoulder open. And then you get up there near the casino, and just on the other side of the overpass, they're loading a piece of construction equipment onto a gooseneck trailer-

... on the right shoulder. They're kinda hanging into the right lane, and the left lane, even though there's n- they're closed, there's nothing going on. There's no construction.

Are you getting a good picture of this, Victor?

I'm trying.

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs] I mean, eh, what we have from time to time, had complaints about construction on this program.

Yeah.

So-

One thing that is interesting about construction zones is most of 'em hire traffic safety, uh, business people that come out, and that's all they take care of is the traffic safety. And that's making sure the cones are up, and the traffic pattern's right. And so that's where that would fall, not necessarily on whether the construction operator that does the equipment and the digging and all that, is using drugs. [laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

Okay, fair enough.

But you know, they-

So whoever's doing the traffic patterns, then-

Well, they keep telling me-

... they got some interesting-

They keep telling me that one of these days, that construction will be done.

And then it'll be somewhere else. [laughs]

So [laughs] and then it's ... Yeah, then you can complain about somewhere else, exactly.

[laughs]

So, yeah. I, I know it can get confusing, especially in that Pocatello area. It, there was a few times when there was a lotta different lines on the road.

Yeah. I-

[laughs] And like, "Which ones are the right ones?"

I just absolutely love the fact that you can catch air off those bridges down there. [laughs]

[laughs] You can.

Like, you guys are, you guys are dialed in on level.

[laughs] Well appreciate-

Well-

... the call man. And uh-

Yeah

... good luck. Good luck on the, uh, the roads this weekend, and-

Thank you

... hope, hope it goes good.

And hey, Victor, I don't know who you would maybe know that I could talk to, but we need a KBAR over at Boise, 'cause, uh,

I don't think-

We're trying to get Victor to go there now. [laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

I've done my best to, uh, you know, try to tell Nick and Big J, "More metal!" But, uh, they're j-

That's ... Yeah, that's ... That would be great.

They're just, you know, all, all these other radio programmers out there, even though I like 'em-

[laughs]

... they're just, they're afraid.

Wait a minute, you like somebody? [laughs]

Yeah, I like 'em. But, but they're afraid of the metal. [laughs]

[laughs]

Gotcha there. All right, well appreciate you guys.

Hey, thanks man.

Keep doing what you're doing. We'll, uh, talk to you later.

Right on, you have a good weekend, dude.

Thanks. Bye-bye.

See ya. Well, there was somebody calling, but then they hung up.

I-

Yeah

... I'd like to make a statement.

A statement?

Yes.

All right.

Uh, you said, "More ... What kinda rock?"

Metal.

Metal rock, yeah.

That's right.

More metal rock. And I would like to disagree with you, but I can't.

I, uh, I was approached again this week by somebody that just blew me away that they listen to your station. [laughs] I'm like, "You really listen to that full time?" They're like, "Absolutely."

Oh yeah, dude, that-

Older person.

Exactly.

Yeah. I mean, they loved it.

That, that ... I've been trying to tell every local business, if you ain't advertising on KBAR, you a fool!

You going outta business!

That's right! You're gonna, you're gonna lose it all!

[laughs]

All right. KBAR, you're live on Traffic School powered by-

This is traffic school powered by.

Whoa!

[laughs]

The Advocates Injury Attorneys? Hi, who's this?

[laughs] This is Pat.

Pat, what's up, man?

Hey, just seeing if Pocatello police can pull someone over without a traffic violation?

Absolutely. Now wh- [laughs]

[laughs] From what I've learned, Pocatello police do whatever they want.

Can they, yes. Should they, no.

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

I mean, I'd hope they'd have an, an excuse at least, when they pulled you over.

Well, what we like to call it is probable cause. [laughs]

There you go. [laughs]

[laughs]

Or a violation of the law.

[laughs]

W-

What happened, Patrick?

Yeah, what happened?

I was just driving down one of the streets, and um, just looking at-

Minding your own business?

Yep. Yep, I was doing the speed limit, and he lights me up.

What'd he do? Did he, when he walked up to the car did he say, "I'm here just to tick you off?" [laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

No, he just wrote me up a ticket for, uh

... Oh, the, uh ... Dang, what is it?

Doing nothing. [laughs]

[laughs]

It was just, there were so many of 'em.

Doing a perfect citizen.

[laughs]

I got a citation for being a perfect citizen. [laughs]

[laughs]

Yes, that's it.

Yeah.

Oh, what did you get a ticket for? I-

Uh, my registration was expired.

All right. So let me-

Oh, there you go

... ask you this, Patrick. Did you realize that that's an infraction in the state of Idaho not to register your vehicle and keep it current?

Uh, yeah.

All right.

I knew it, but I didn't, I didn't know that that was-

So no matter how much you're minding your own business ... [laughs]

[laughs] Those, those stickers on your license plate are a certain color-

[laughs]

... so they're easy to spot, and the cops know what years those colors are.

One of my favorite is I had a guy that got some markers and tried to color it the right color al-

[laughs]

And he goes, "Hey, it's worked for quite some time." [laughs]

[laughs] That's awesome.

[laughs]

[laughs]

Well, I'm going through mud next time.

Well, how-

[laughs]

Did you know it's illegal to have it so that it's not readable? Uh, that if you can't read it, it's illegal too?

Oh okay, why don't you guys give us a break?

[laughs]

Yeah, that's how we catch criminals. [laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs] All right. Yeah, that was my question.

Right on, man.

What happens if I'm minding my own business? [laughs]

With expired plates. [laughs]

Yeah. [laughs]

And an arrest warrant. [laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

And a car load of drugs.

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs] All right, thanks guys.

Hey, thanks man. You have a good one.

You too. Bye.

Bye. 208-535-1015, the number to call for Traffic School powered by The Advocates.

When you had car loads of drugs, did it ever make you nervous?

What are you talking about?

[laughs]

[laughs]

I have never had car load ... Always trying to get me in trouble. Geez!

I'm just wondering. [laughs]

This guy. [laughs] Um, so, you know, we were talking about how I'm gonna dress up like a lady tonight?

I, I didn't want to talk about it anymore, but yes. [laughs]

Okay. Now, I, I was at Goodwill last night-

What, what are they paying you for this?[laughs]

It depends how many people show up.

[laughs]

So I hope we have a good crowd at The Heart tonight, because I need the money. [laughs]

[laughs]

7:30 PM, 18 plus.

All right, Carl. [laughs]

But so... [laughs] I gotta get my plugs in like Carl. Um, so I was at Goodwill last night, 'cause I'm trying to find a costume, you know? To dress like a rocker chick. So I found this cool Cannibal Corpse shirt that'll be out, you know, really tight. And then-

[laughs] Yeah, that's what we need.

Yeah. [laughs]

[laughs]

And then I was over, uh, in the bras section, all right?

Are you gonna stuff it?

Well, yeah.

Oh.

I mean, I don't need to too much, as you can tell.

[laughs] 'Cause they call those man something. [laughs]

But would it be a public disturbance? Could I have gotten in trouble?

Oh, it's disturbing me already.

'Cause I was trying the bras on, uh, over my shirt in the middle of the store, and there were definitely people looking at me very strange.

[laughs]

[laughs] Here, I'll show you a picture.

Oh no, please.

And then you tell me if this is public indecency here.

It's disturbing my peace and I haven't even looked at it.

Yep, see? So there's me, in the Goodwill. He's putting on his glasses. And that was the one I ended up getting. Isn't it pretty?

It looks a little big for you. [laughs]

[laughs] Well, I wanted to make sure that, you know...

[laughs]

'Cause who wants to show up, you know, not really showing it off.

[laughs]

Uh-huh. [laughs]

All right, we'll go to the phones. [laughs]

[laughs]

KBear. [dial tone] Oh, how dare you?

Oh, geez.

KBear, you're live on Traffic School, powered by The Advocates. Who's this?

JD.

JD. What's up, JD?

Are you embarrassed? Like, your friend, your-

I am not embarrassed.

[laughs]

[laughs]

I don't, I don't have anything to be embarrassed about because Bob dresses up like a woman.

[laughs]

[laughs] That's true.

I don't do it regularly. This is only-

[laughs]

Oh, okay.

You know? It's for-

Oh my lord.

... a Halloween party. [laughs]

[laughs]

So, uh, so the lieutenant said something about driving around with a car load of drugs?

[laughs] Yes, I did.

My question, my question pertains to that. So what if they're not my drugs? What if I'm like, across the border and I go to the dispensary for a friend who's, uh, mine who's a DJ?

Now, what-

And I have a whole bunch of-

[laughs]

What is wrong with you guys? Geez.

And I have a whole bunch of stuff for my friend who's a DJ.

[laughs]

I cannot-

He's a very good friend.

JD, I cannot believe you would-

Can I-

... throw Shaggy under the bus like that.

[laughs]

It's messed up, dude.

[laughs]

Shaggy's a good dude. Come on.

He's not a drug user. [laughs]

[laughs]

I can't, I can't-

He's an X-Man.

I can't blame it, I can't blame it on the DJ if I get caught?

No, no, you know what we... Oh, uh, you know how many times do we hear, "Oh, it's my brother's." [laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

"It's my f- oh, it's my first cousin's."

Oh my lord. Okay. Well, I'm-

So the reason behind that is-

Hey, Bob, I'm gonna stop... I'm gonna stop doing that, Bob. But anyway, go ahead.

[laughs]

[laughs]

Who... Uh-uh- that's not Shaggy's real name. [laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

It's Dallyn. [laughs]

[laughs] Boy, you would be a horrible-

Oh, who, Dallyn?

... C.I., you're a snitch.

I am a snitch. [laughs]

[laughs]

I know all the DJs real names.

I, I, I know Dallyn too.

[laughs]

[laughs]

I know him.

I know you do.

[laughs].

Clearly. [laughs]

Yeah. Thanks. Thanks for giving that up. But anyway.

[laughs]

All right, that was my question.

All right. [laughs] Appreciate the call, JD.

[laughs]

And yeah, remember Stiff, Stiff Richard's Roadhouse this weekend.

Oh, more plugs.

Hey, just real quick, JD. I want you to know-

Everybody else is... Yes, my friend.

It's about possession, not whose it is, but who's possessing it.

Oh, okay. I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll give it all to Josh-

But, uh-

... my bass player.

Oh, yeah.

[laughs]

'Cause that's typically who typically has it. But I will tell you this, it's who possesses it, but we're always willing to do a controlled delivery.

[laughs]

[laughs]

There you go.

To the rightful owner.

We'll thank you for that.

Yeah, we'll deliver it to the rightful owner.

Yeah.

You just let us know who it is.

There you go. Thank you. That helps. For sure.

Right on, JD.

And sometimes you can make money doing it.

[laughs]

All right, guys. Oh, that's even better.

[laughs]

[laughs]

You're, you're giving me ideas here.

The starving musician.

[laughs]

Starving musicians, that's funny.

Well-

All right, guys. Hey, have a great day. Thank you.

Yeah, you have a good one, JD.

Yep.

Peace.

Talk to you soon. Bye.

Yep, Stiff Richard live at the Roadhouse this weekend.

[laughs]

This is plug central today.

[laughs]

[laughs] If anyone else has any other events they'd like to talk about, feel free to... Somebody called and told me about the, uh, Louisville, uh, Carnival earlier today, too. KBear, you are live on Traffic School, powered by-

That was very confusing for you. [laughs]

[laughs]

It jumped lines. Come on now. Uh, hi. Where did the green light go? [laughs]

[laughs] Get out of here. It moved, all right? It moved.

[laughs]

Uh, hi caller, it's Traffic School, powered by The Advocates. Who's this?

This is his girlfriend.

Oh.

Oh.

And he says... [laughs]

Am I in trouble now?

And I just want to say that he dresses up like a chick all the time, so-

That's not true.

These, these are lies.

Every evening when I come home, I'm like, "Victor, stay out of my closet."

He has to grab my clothes when he puts them on around the house.

And it, her clothes are much smaller than mine, so you can-

I've seen her. Yeah, I can...

[laughs]

I, I don't know what I can say on the air, so I'm not gonna say anything at all.

[laughs] All right.

But I'm certain some things aren't gonna fit. [laughs]

[laughs]

Oh, you never know, you never know.

I could squeeze into anything.

Yeah.

[laughs]

Boy, that's something a person don't want to see. [laughs]

[laughs]

Uh, every-

But anyways, I gotta go.

Okay.

I, I just want to say thank you for being willing to admit your boyfriend's girlfriend on the air.

[laughs]

[laughs]

[laughs]

I think that's the first time it's ever happened.

Uh, yeah.

[laughs] Yeah, it's, it's not Ravonda this time.

[laughs]

I miss her.

[laughs]

She'll, she'll be back. She'll be back.

All right. We hope Ravonda calls one of these days, that's for sure.

Uh.

Okay, bye guys.

[laughs] 208-535-1015. The number to call for Traffic School powered by the advocates.

So now we know what you like to do in the evenings. [laughs]

Well, I've got a nice wig. It's very pretty.

[laughs]

I can show you a picture of that too.

I don't wanna see it. [laughs]

[laughs] I'm gonna show you.

No! [laughs]

[laughs] Uh, let's see. Check it out. Look at, look at my, my pretty hair that I'll wear tonight.

Yeah, that goatie's gotta go. [laughs]

[laughs] Yeah.

You have to shave.

Oh, my [laughs]. That's a bearded woman if I've ever seen one right there.

That looks like you just broke outta prison.

[laughs] Oh, man. All right, we got a caller here.

[laughs] Yeah we have, bud. [laughs]

[laughs] K-Bear, you're live on Traffic School, powered by the advocates. Who's this?

What's up, boss?

What ups?

You guys rock.

Hey.

Hey.

Thank you. Thank you, Stewart. What's up, man? What do you wanna know?

Well, since you were calling for free plugs, I just wanted to let everybody know the ISD marching competition is this weekend, and everybody should get out and support the young musicians.

Yeah, that's true. That's a very good fact. Yeah, a lot of different events happening, and you know, people, you can find out about them at the Riverbend event, uh, media group.com event calendar.

[laughs]

But you're welcome for your plug, Stewart. Thank you.

Yeah, no problem. Have a good one, guys.

[laughs] You too.

[laughs] You ask, you may receive.

At least it's been like to the, for the most part, charitable events that people are talking about on the program.

Yes, absolutely. So your deal's tonight?

Mm-hmm.

Oh boy.

Yeah. So, uh, you know-

It'll be all over within 24 hours.

Tell your buddies, stay away. [laughs]

Yeah, I don't think any of my buddies wanna be there.

[laughs]

[laughs] Who doesn't wanna see this?

Um, can you see my hand in the air?

[laughs] The only thing I'm missing is shoes. You wouldn't believe how hard it is to find some ladies shoes that fit-

Oh, man

... fit these big feet.

Since we do, doing free plugs, and I know it's not this time of year, but, uh, Walk a Mile in Her Shoes, we do that fundraiser.

Yeah.

And, uh, boy, I've went and done that multiple times. I do not know how these women walk in high heel shoes. That can kill your ankles.

Oh, yeah. See, I'm sure I would bust an ankle.

[laughs]

You know? But yeah, I was looking at Goodwill for some large, uh, shoes of any sort, and apparently the ladies just have smaller feet. [laughs]

[laughs]

So might be the old dad shoes, which might look even more ridiculous though. Um, we got some online questions here. Uh, what is considered a non... Oh, somebody's calling. Sorry, online people. The live callers get priority.

[laughs] Oh.

That's it. That is it.

Show is over. [laughs]

[laughs] All right. So, Angie wanted to know what is considered a non-drivable vehicle, not including get, getting towed in somewhere and is legitimately not drivable?

Hmm. So there are certain things you gotta have, right? You gotta have taillights, you gotta have a brake light, you gotta, uh, you can use signals by using your arm. You gotta have a headlight after dark, and, um, you have a, have to work, a workable horn. And crazy enough, we've talked about this, you don't need to have a windshield in it, but you do need to have workable windshield wipers.

[laughs]

[laughs] So if you have those things, you can drive it.

There you go, Angie. K-Bear, you're-

Oh! [laughs]

They're just messing with me now. Just messing with me now.

K-Bear, you're live on Traffic School, powered by the Advocates. Who's this?

This is Jason.

Jason, what's up man?

This dates back to when I was a kid. I would get to a crosswalk with my pedal bike, and my friend goes, "Oh, you gotta walk that across. You can't pedal it across." I go, "What?" So what's the law on that? Can you just ride it across?

No.

You have to walk it across.

He's right. You're supposed to dismount if you're using it in the crosswalk, not operating it as a vehicle, and walk it across and then mount back up and ride away.

I was afraid of that. Okay.

[laughs]

[laughs]

Now I know.

Statute of limitations is over.

I remember hearing that when I was a kid too.

[laughs]

I'm thinking, "Well, that's dumb. I can get across way quicker if I'm just riding."

Yeah, the thing they're afraid of is you won't stop at all and you just bust across, right?

Yeah. Yeah. Makes sense.

So that's how it was written.

Okay. Thanks much.

Hey, thanks sir. Have a good one.

You too. Bye.

K-Bear, you are live on Traffic School, powered by the Advocates. Who's this?

This is the other Stewart.

The other Stewart. All right. What's up, man?

[laughs] Hey, I got, I got two questions. The first one is with, uh, the license plate law. If you don't have, uh, a front bracket, uh, did they just change the law so you can, you just need one on the back?

Uh, that's a great question. We've covered this a little bit, but it's good to cover it again. Uh, the law states that if the car does not come with a mounting bracket on the front, you do not have to have the front plate. You can legally run with just the rear. But if it even has the dimples where the, the pilot holes would go, then you need to have a front license plate.

Okay. My second question is, they have the new law out, something about when you pass vehicles, you can speed up. What, what's the, what's the ruling on that? Like, uh, you know, when you're on the highway, someone's going like 81 and you're passing them. How fast can you go to pass them?

[laughs]

What's the new law on that?

Okay. It's not necessarily a new law. They just added something to it. Now what the law states is

if you're on a two-lane road, and then we're gonna talk about the new law. But the old law was if you're on a two-lane road and you're passing a car going the same direction in a passing zone, first and foremost, the car you're passing has to be going under the speed limit. So if the speed limit's 65, they gotta be going 64 miles an hour or less. When you go out to pass, you can speed up to over, uh, up to 15 miles an hour over the speed limit until you get the pass completed, and then you have to slow back down to the speed limit.... 'kay?

15 over. [laughs]

15 over. Now-

Okay

... what was added is, if you have two lanes

going the same direction, which is now a designated passing lane on the left, and the car ahead of you is going under the speed limit... Once again, if the speed limit's 65 and they're doing 64, you can now pass in that passing lane by going up to, but not over, 15 miles an hour over the speed limit, and then once you get back in your travel lane, you have to get back down to the speed limit.

You can do that on I-15 if somebody's going-

No, no, on a passing lane. So, if it's two lanes with a passing lane.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

So, the passing... Like, if you're out near-

On 26-

... Island Park or something like that.

Uh, going up the Ashton Hill, where there's-

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, you can do that.

Okay, okay.

Yeah. But it's a passing lane, uh, opportunity there. Okay.

Okay, hey, I appreciate-

Where that passing lane's gonna end, you need to get past 'em and get back in, you can speed up to over 15 miles an hour over the speed limit, then you gotta shutter back down.

Cool. Well, cool, well, you guys all have a great day.

Hey, you too, man. Appreciate the call.

All right. Take care, bye.

But you can't do 50 miles an hour over the speed limit and pass everybody. [laughs]

Yeah, yeah.

[imitates car noise]

Just flying down that passing lane.

Who you passing? All of 'em!

All right. Yeah, 'cause I was confused for a minute. I'm like, "Wow, you can do that on the freeway." But yeah-

Nah

... I, I didn't get what you were saying about the passing lane that pops up every once in a while. Uh, KBAR, you're live on Traffic School, powered by The Advocates. Who's this?

Jason, I just wanna make a song request.

It's Traffic School-

[laughs]

... time, Jason.

Anything Frehley's Comet.

Anything what?

Frehley's Comet.

Oh, yep, rest in peace to Ace Frehley of KISS. Um, passed away yesterday and, uh, I'll, I'll see what I can dig up, man.

Sounds good, thanks.

All right, thanks. [dial tone]

KBAR, you're live on Traffic School, powered by The Advocates. Who's this?

Morning, gentlemen, this is Troy.

Troy, what's up, dude?

So, to tack onto the other thing, uh, about passing 15 miles over, and it's only in the passing lane. Now, you're on that, you're on that, uh... Let's just say there's... And I'm not gonna call anybody out. Well, yeah, yeah, I am. You tards-

Okay, so-

... driving in the left lane because they cannot get over. You can't do the 15 miles an hour over to get past them on the, uh, the travel lane?

Uh, no, and you can't do that on a highway or interstate that's designated two lanes both directions.

So, what you're saying is we need to put bumpers, sticker bumpers on the front and nudge them out of the way-

[laughs]

Hit 'em.

[laughs]

I, I'm just saying, you've seen it a million times. People s- like to stay in the left lane and it's seriously

But again, this is not on, like, I-15. This would be on-

Not... Yeah, 26, the two lane, most, m- m- almost always a two lane except where there's passing lanes and things like that. So, it's a designated two-lane highway, not a designated four-lane highway.

Oh, got it. Okay. That's where I was getting confused. I was thinking I-15.

Yeah, no.

All right.

Nope, can't do it there. Just on those two-lane roads where, you know, every once in a while a passing lane will open up so you can get past those truckers that are just, you know, creeping up the hill, so...

Yep, perfect.

And then you're gonna love it when another truck pulls out in the passing lane-

Oh!

... and blocks it up. [laughs]

Oh! [laughs]

So-

That's, that's when you're allowed to hit the shoulder and punch it.

[laughs]

[laughs]

Long as you don't get caught.

Perfect.

All right, thanks, Troy.

Peace out, Girl Scout.

Peace. All right, we could probably do one more. I didn't realize it was as late as it is. All right, caller, you're live on Traffic School, powered by The Advocates. Make it, uh, fast, please.

Okay, so I have a question. So, I actually have a bet with somebody.

Okay.

So, I know that black and white speed limit signs are law, but are the black and yellow up for suggestion?

Oh, the black and orange. They are a warning that coming up is a speed change. But you do not have to do that speed at that black and orange sign. You he- only have to implement it when you get to the black and white sign.

All right, good to know. Fine.

All right, I hope you won some money.

Yeah, thank you.

[laughs] Thanks, have a good one.

You too, bye.

Man, that show went by really fast.

Yeah, that was awesome.

Good show. Thank you for calling, everybody. And, uh, to those who we didn't get to your online questions, I'll hang onto 'em for next week. Or if you wanna get 'em answered, you call us, all right?

[laughs]

It's the easy way to get 'em answered. Call, 'cause live callers get the priority. All right, you have a great weekend, Lieutenant Crane.

You too. I hope you survive tonight. [laughs]

Oh, yeah, I'll, I'll be sending you lots of photos.

Oh, [laughs] I can't wait.

It's gonna be great. I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be beautiful.

[laughs]

[laughs]

I don't know, who- whoever does that, let me know 'cause I'd like to sign some, sign up with them.

[laughs] Okay, uh, Traffic School-

[laughs] Run, run, run!

You know, it's Traffic School, powered by The Advocates, every Friday morning, 8:45. [sirens wailing] Traffic School is a production of Riverbend Media Group. To get more info on the show or to contact us, hit up our website, riverbendmediagroup.com.