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Most of the powerful, unguarded conversations we have as practitioners happen behind the scenes. This podcast was created to bring those conversations forward. It’s a space for real talk about client work, presence, creating powerful containers for waking others up, embodied change, and the ways we continue to grow and meet our edges as we guide others.
00;00;04;12 - 00;00;31;25
Unknown
Welcome to Inside the Practitioner's Path. I'm Aila Coats, and I'm Barb Patterson. This is a private space for those doing this work and those feeling called to it, who want to live what they teach and explore. The real behind the scenes happenings about our work, ourselves, and the edges we meet along the way. It's unfiltered and unedited, just like us talking about how this work shapes us right alongside our clients.
00;00;32;02 - 00;00;58;05
Unknown
We share what moves us, what makes us laugh, and what we're still figuring out. This is about presence, practice, and community. The ongoing work of being human while helping other humans. Well, welcome inside. I think I'm taking too long. Welcome. Should be like that. Okay. Welcome, welcome. Oh. It's impossible. Hey, everybody. Welcome. We're just so glad you're here.
00;00;58;06 - 00;01;10;10
Unknown
I love anything you want to add to that. Welcome inside.
00;01;10;13 - 00;01;42;04
Unknown
Hi everyone. Welcome to Inside the Practitioner's Path. I'm Ila. So I wanted to talk a little bit about something that's really fresh and alive for me around, spiritual awakening and this whole idea around, like, what it means to be on a spiritual path and how that has changed for me over the years and how it's affected my personal life and the work I do with my clients.
00;01;42;06 - 00;02;16;10
Unknown
And I feel like I just kind of cut right to present time where what I'm really loving, and, and just like diving deeply into is, is just such a rich experience of life. And it's really brought on from my from my kids. So I have three kids, Earth side. At the moment in 2025, I have a nine year old, a five year old and a two year old.
00;02;16;12 - 00;02;40;19
Unknown
And I feel like what I get to witness in them is this pure interaction that they have with their life, their whatever's happening inside themselves and in the world. They're just fully in it. They are sad. If they're sad and they're mad if they're mad and they're happy if they're happy, and if there's mud, they're jumping in it.
00;02;40;22 - 00;03;21;27
Unknown
If there's rain, they're playing in it and they're just fully immersed in this full on, full contact, just profound experience with what is. And through my experience parenting them, I have had so many deep awarenesses come in of how much I've put on a pedestal, the what I thought were the spiritual qualities of of what it means to be to be, to be alive, the spiritual qualities.
00;03;21;29 - 00;03;44;20
Unknown
So being loving and compassionate and kind and and all of that is very, you know, noble and sweet to, to want to show up in that way and be that way. But if that's not what is actually occurring in the moment, what I'm actually doing is being in resistance to whatever is and trying to get away from it.
00;03;44;23 - 00;04;25;20
Unknown
This has been incredibly humbling for me over the last couple of years, especially in the last couple months. Truly, to see this. So, just clearly in my face that when my little, my little, like two year old Rosemary, when she's in a full on just real reaction, real upset, feeling if I'm trying to stop her from feeling it or quiet her or get away from her, which are all totally fine and acceptable thoughts and emotions to have myself.
00;04;25;22 - 00;04;51;24
Unknown
But if I'm doing that, it's like it's not. It's not because I, I, I don't know, it's not because it's it's it's because I'm afraid. Let's just say it that way. I'm afraid of the human experience. That's happening right in that moment. I'm afraid of it. I'm afraid of her feelings. And then I'm afraid of the feelings coming up inside of me, which is so innocent and sweet.
00;04;51;24 - 00;05;16;09
Unknown
And there's nothing malicious in any of that. But I really appreciate that the more I am able to hold her when she's sad or mad and just be with her and accept her exactly how she is, and accept exactly what's coming through her, it just the better it is for all of us. I mean, I'm making a judgment call there.
00;05;16;09 - 00;05;40;18
Unknown
It's better than the experience of pushing her away for me, and I'm sure it's better for her to not be pushed away and or shushed and or quieted and or made to feel that she is wrong in whatever she's experiencing. And I'm just so aware of how and this is this is why it's so big for me right now.
00;05;40;20 - 00;06;06;05
Unknown
I didn't realize how much I've been doing that. I'm so aware of how I've been doing that my whole life. And really, once I got onto a spiritual path when I was about 12, it was like, oh, this peaceful feeling that I tap into, okay, that's the goal. And it's like, can I just somehow force my attention to stay there?
00;06;06;05 - 00;06;55;02
Unknown
Always and and really just chop off all these other aspects of what it means to be a human, deeming them unacceptable or lesser than. And really, it's been, you know, it's been for years this, this deepening and learning, learning to know what it means to truly accept what is and and now this like deeper cut of of, seeing where I have actually been afraid of what is and looking at that more deeply that it's like, what if let's just say Rosemary's anger isn't something to fear.
00;06;55;04 - 00;07;23;22
Unknown
It's just it's something to witness and hold space for and ultimately let pass through. Because it is it is temporary. Every feeling she has ever felt has moved through. Every feeling I have ever felt, every single one. Even the depth of grief and sadness over losing a baby. It's like even that I moved through that. Those movie, those those feelings moved through me.
00;07;23;22 - 00;08;11;07
Unknown
I moved through them. I don't know which way that goes, but they pass and and every iota of the human experience, of the physical experience is fluid and in motion and constantly changing and evolving and expanding and being reshaped. And when I know that and see that, my gosh, I feel again, like fearless. There's nothing to fear. So I think I just wanted to share a little bit about this, like really deep realization that's happening in me of like, wow, I don't think I need to feel feelings to become healed.
00;08;11;09 - 00;08;49;21
Unknown
No, no, I don't think I need to feel feelings in order to anything. In order to resolve something or understand something. I don't need to feel them for that. I want to feel feelings and or be with feelings because they're they're. And because arguing with reality. As Byron Katie says, it's like you can do that. You lose though, but only 100% of the time.
00;08;49;24 - 00;09;47;14
Unknown
And really, a deeper cut to that for me is how often am I saying things, doing things, creating things to try to avoid human experiences, human feelings, human being, a human. How often am I creating in order to protect myself from something that I really don't need protection from? And it's just a it's a really different kind of inquiry for me where it's it's not, you know, the typical spiritual psychology or the three principles, or maybe it is all of it, none of it, I don't know, but it is what what I'm seeing for myself around the spiritual understanding, the spiritual deepening that I'm always going for and how it just keeps evolving.
00;09;47;17 - 00;10;22;14
Unknown
It just keeps getting richer and more interesting and more awakening and all this, all this stuff is just keeps. It takes on a life of its own and then in a really cool way, makes life keep and like keeps life keeps getting sweeter and more connected and. Softer and more compassionate. Where there's less resistance and less fear. Some fear but less.
00;10;22;14 - 00;11;12;24
Unknown
Less fear. Where my kids are feeling more held and seen and accepted and, where I'm learning to really create in my work from a place of inspiration and pure service and not so much from fear or trying to avoid feelings. And then in my work with my clients, where I can really ask deeper questions around how they're where they're creating from, you know, even in their spiritual practices, like, are they are they trying to go for, an idea of enlightenment because they're judging what is and judging what it means to be embodying.
00;11;12;27 - 00;11;44;18
Unknown
So I think I'll stop there. No, I won't, I have a P.S. Barb and I were just talking about this, and I'll. I'll mention it here, but I said something a moment ago about feelings and not feeling my feelings to be healed. And what we were talking about is this real shared appreciation for the energy of healing and the just the quality of that, the vibration of it, the intention of it, like the feeling of it, the heat, like a healing energy.
00;11;44;18 - 00;12;10;15
Unknown
We all know what that is. But we we also have a shared appreciation that perhaps we don't need healing, that what we, if anything, need is in this is this is my understanding. We we need we just need to remember who we are and what we are and.
00;12;10;18 - 00;12;33;11
Unknown
And that's the that's awakening is remembering who and what we are. For me, when I do that, it's like, wow, I'm not. I don't need to fear thoughts or feelings or life circumstances. They're not. I mean, I can fear them, right? I can and I can feel the fear and be one with be and be, you know, be with the fear.
00;12;33;14 - 00;13;07;02
Unknown
And that even changes like there's nothing to resist from this context. It's like we're not broken. We're not we don't need fixing and we don't need scaffolding. We don't need coddling. We absolutely can support ourselves. However, we feel inspired to. But we're way more resilient than we think we are. We're already whole and complete. Our hearts are already open.
00;13;07;04 - 00;13;53;25
Unknown
It's like we're already what we seek. If we're seeking, we're already there. And to really allow the human, you know, the what it means to be a human, to be included in part of this spiritual experience we're having has been very helpful for me and just awakening more fully again, to what it means to accept what is and to be in alignment with, with my spiritual understanding, which is that, you know, the first love spirit is acceptance, the second love spirit is, you know, cooperation, you know, these kind of fundamental ideas.
00;13;53;28 - 00;14;12;10
Unknown
I've been able to be more in alignment with them and live live in that kind of that constant state of spiritual unfolding and awakening as I consider them. And I.
00;14;12;12 - 00;14;37;07
Unknown
What I really want to say is being on a spiritual path. It took a turn I couldn't have anticipated where it it was like, saying hello to my human self in this very profound way and being like, oh, you're not just a human, you're you are the spiritual self. You are, you are part of and one with all that is.
00;14;37;07 - 00;14;48;08
Unknown
And I'm sorry for ever judging you or fearing you. Let's do this thing. All right. I will stop there.
00;14;48;11 - 00;15;10;08
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engaging. We're so glad you're here. If you have a question or something you'd love us to explore on a future episode, we'd love to hear from you! Email us at Inside the Practitioner's Path at gmail.com. We also host free experiences and deeper programs throughout the year. You can find what's coming up at Barbara patterson.com and Iowa codes.com.
00;15;10;14 - 00;15;16;15
Unknown
Let us know what's resonating, what's opening up and what you're seeing in your own work. Until next time.