Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
You’re tired.
Not just physically; though yeah, that too.
You’re tired in your bones. In your soul.
Trying to be a steady husband, an intentional dad, a man of God… but deep down, you feel like you’re falling short. Like you’re carrying more than you know how to hold.
Dad Tired is a podcast for men who are ready to stop pretending and start healing.
Not with self-help tips or religious platitudes, but by anchoring their lives in something (and Someone) stronger.
Hosted by Jerrad Lopes, a husband, dad of four, and fellow struggler, this show is a weekly invitation to find rest for your soul, clarity for your calling, and the courage to lead your family well.
Through honest stories, biblical truth, and deep conversations you’ll be reminded:
You’re not alone. You’re not too far gone. And the man you want to be is only found in Jesus.
This isn’t about trying harder.
It’s about coming home.
Hey y'all and welcome back to the Dad Tired podcast. Today's episode is brought to you by the Dwell Bible app. This season for Lent makes scripture a part of your daily rhythm. With the Dwell Audio Bible app, dwell makes it easy to engage with the Bible by listening, whether you're on road trips during a run, or as a family before bed.
It's already one of the most used apps this year, and now they've got powerful listening plans for Lent like inhabit. A beautiful devotion to deepen your awareness of your place in God's story or a reflection series from author Jess Connolly guiding you through the Psalms. Each Saturday, a meaningful way to prepare your heart leading up to Resurrection Sunday.
Plus, dwell subscribers can share the journey. Send a free 40 day Lent guest pass to family and friends. Start today@dwellbible.com slash dad tired. That's dwell bible.com/dad Tired.
All right. I'm jumping back this week into the concept of Jesus. I'm commanding us to friendship. Remember again, we were looking at the. The kind of, um, farewell discourse where Jesus looks at the disciples and says, this is my command that you love one another. Greater love has no one than this, than a man.
Lay down his life for his. Friends, and the kind of undergirding theme that I'm trying to draw out is that Jesus has just communicated to the disciples that Judas, who has been with them for three years, serving alongside them for three years, has now decided to betray that friendship that for a measure of money, Judas is going to kind of spit on his relationship with Jesus and the, the nuance here or the.
The kind of contrast is that Jesus says to the disciples, um, I'm gonna show you what real friendship is to lay down your life for your friends. It's command, it's a, it's thorough instruction that we learn, practice. I. Embody friendship. So today I want to take you to Luke 24. I wanna read you just really quickly, a really common, um, little passage from Luke's gospel, um, called, we call it The Road to Emmaus.
Um, and the idea, I'll just read you verse 13 to 16, to just kind of. Give you a little bit of the context, but the idea is that we have two individuals walking or journeying towards Emmaus post crucifixion. So this is after the crucifixion of Jesus, after the resurrection of Jesus. But they're still yet confused, concerned.
They're disappointed. They haven't yet come to the awareness that Christ has been raised from the dead. Verse 13 of chapter 24, that very day, two of them were going to a village named Emmaus. About seven miles from Jerusalem. They were walking with each other. And talking about all the things that had happened while they were talking and discussing together.
Jesus himself drew near and went with them. Now you remember that as they walk, Jesus is gonna begin to explain, unwind, kind of instruct from, from Genesis on about how all of the scriptures are, um, about Christ and. Pointing us towards his redemption. The aftermath of Jesus's crucifixion though leaves many of these first disciples confused and wondering.
Luke gives us his account in 24 of these two disciples, headed again towards Emmaus, about seven miles, and they're processing their own disappointment, confusing despair amongst each other. We're told, uh, that one is Klaus. Um, and John chapter 19, verse 25, it says that Klaus's wife Mary, was at the crucifixion with Jesus.
So. It's likely that it's that individual KPAs, and we're not told who the second individual is. Some speculate that the second individual could be his wife, Mary. There's others who imagine that the second individual is Peter or some other friend. We, we don't have perfect clarity there. We just know that KPAs is walking to a mass disappointed, confused in despair, and is processing verbally, kind of processing, experiencing his sorrow with a friend.
Now I think that there's some like beautiful imagery that pops out. We're catching insight here into God's design for friendship. Confusion comes in the life of every believer to grip. Confusion comes to, to kind of belittle and to, uh, distract. And in this thing that God gives us called friendship, we have the ability to look at a brother and as we process kind of cry, I.
Help me. Help me understand. Help me seek God's wisdom. Help me unpack what's happening. And when you consider thoroughly that the enemy's plan for us is to crush us, literally, to crush us through deception, to crush us through confusion, the. Imagery of Ephesians six and the armor of God is the helmet of salvation.
That our minds would be protected, that we would think according to the gospel, the, um, the belt of truth, right? That the enemy wouldn't be able to come in and lead us into this kind of delusion. We have the sword of the spirit. The word is our weapon, the shield of faith, that we believe it, that we confess it and believe it.
We see as we even just dissect the armor of God that the enemies. Plan for you and for me is to bring us to delusion, deception, deceit, confusion, and despair and God's solution. To some extent, of course, God's solution is the word of God. God's solution is to not leave us as orphans and sin the spirit, the presence of the spirit.
But God also gives us de great tool to process despair, a process, confusion to process. De see the great tool called Friendship, right? Like. Brothers to walk with me. And so it's fun to imagine these two friends walking towards a mass discouraged, confused, beat up. And we kind of recognize that friends that walk together in discipleship, they access in one another a great benefit.
The ability to confess out loud. Where our mind has been assaulted to, to speak out loud, the lies and the deception and the confusion. And my closest friends, they hear me process, they listen as I kind of unwind the knots with them of my thinking and. With grace and they help to point me back to truth and with grace they can kind of preemptively, uh, acknowledge where the snares are that the enemy has laid for my life.
And I find healing as I confess sin. Yes. I also find clarity as I process confusion. There's clarity for confusion in friendship with a Christian brother Saint Augustine. Love the story of two early martyrs, uh, Perpetua and Felicity. Perpetua was a woman of standing of influence, and Felicity was her servant.
Um, both came to Christ, both came to Christianity and they found a spiritual friendship, communion that transcended their kind of natural social status, and they were arrested for their faith. Perpetua at this point has a newborn, and Felicity is. Pregnant. So we have two young mothers arrested for their faith.
Felicity is going to give birth to a daughter right before they're eventually martyred, and we're told that they shared a cell together, a prison cell together as they awaited the day of their death. Now I'm in. Referring here a bit, but I wanna suggest that sharing a prison cell with a fellow believer as you await your own martyrdom, becomes an ongoing late night conversation.
They are thinking out loud, processing their own lives, their own pain. What it means as a new mother, both at some point with newborns, what does it mean to go to their death? And I think they prayed together. I think they, in their confusion and in their spare, they begin to invite. The spirit of comfort and the spirit of truth.
And I think in some way, of course, these two individuals on the road to Emmaus experience the resurrected Christ. And we don't experience the resurrected Christ in our, um, in our sorrow. We experience the, of course, because he's ascended. We experience the spirit which has descended, fallen upon the church, the Holy Spirit, the third person of the Trinity, who is the spirit of wisdom, who is the spirit of truth, who is our comforter.
He becomes our third traveler as we. Like Perpetual and Felicity kind of lay up late at night and wonder and process and bring the word of God to bear its full weight upon our own thoughts of despair. The story goes that I. Perpetua and Felicity, they were sent to a Roman Colosseum to square off with a heifer.
And there's some idea that the Romans are gonna use a heifer to kind of insult the fact that they're two young mothers, rather than using a bull or some other male animal, the heifer at some point knocks both of them to the ground. And what follows is a really beautiful picture of the their, their bond, their friendship.
Perpetua looks over and realizes that Felicity has fallen to the ground and she stumbles over to help her to her feet. And then she comes to the awareness that her hair has fallen and. That culture for a woman to have her hair down was a sign of grieving and mourning. And she didn't want anyone in that coliseum to think that this was an hour of defeat, that they were going to their death as mourning, grieving, some kind of a loss.
And so she pulled her hair back, tied her hair back, and got ready to die. And the image of. Perpetuate lifting her bruised and tired friend again, who was once her servant, but their, their natural social status doesn't matter at all. This is a friend who's bloody, bruised and tired on the ground, perpetuate, lifts her to her feet, picks her back up, and kind of says, we are going to finish well.
Now that to me is an expression of Christian friendship and a, a perfect picture of what it means to live the Christian life. Well, you will be bruised, bloody tired, confused, and friends will lift you back to your feet. Look you in the face and say, let's finish this thing together. Well now. Turn again to the idea of these two travelers on their way to a mass wrestling through their obvious disappointment.
Together, they're processing aloud as Jesus himself draws near. The scripture says they're kept from recognizing him, but he steps into the processing so they don't know who he is, but he begins to. Converse with them. He asked them, what is the conversation you're holding with each other as you walk? Luke 24 17?
The scripture said that they paused standing there looking sad. Jesus steps into the sadness and begins to make sense of it all. He asked them to explain their perspective and they spew the whole matter before them and before Jesus. And as they come to the point in their story, that's particularly confounding.
There's an empty tomb in reports of angels. Declaring that he is alive. They dunno to make sense of it. All the emotions. Um, the confusion has kind of diluted their ability to find the truth and Jesus responds, oh, foolish ones, and slow of heart to believe that all that the prophet has spoken. Was it not necessary that the Christ should suffer these things and enter into his glory?
Now again, there is something of a picture here, friends doing their best to unravel. God's mysterious plan and God's plan in your life at times will be mysterious, right? Like suffering comes the loss of a loved one comes the diagnosis of a sickness comes and that brings mystery. What is God doing? Why would God allow this?
And, um. Of course the enemy often brings assaults, but in some sense, God's sovereignty, um, everything that touches us, passes through his hands. Doesn't mean he's the cause of everything, um, evil or harmful that touches our lives. But he, he sovereignly, does allow things to touch us, and that brings mystery, that brings pain.
And, and these two are kind of wrestling with God's mystery. What is God's doing? What is God doing? What is God? Bringing about and, and I would just say like with a really straightforward point here. When we face tragedy, misfortune, confusion, despair, and we sit with a brother in Christ to unpack, to confess, to reason, to look at the scriptures.
Together we are inviting the spirit of the Lord to step into that conversation. When you sit. Over it with a cup of coffee. And you look at a friend and you say, I'm tired, and I'm frustrated and I'm confused, and I'm trying to understand God's word and I'm trying to make sense of God's plan. And I, I need prayer and I need counsel, and I need wisdom.
And at times I don't need job's, friends to, to condemn me. I need you to sit with me. And, uh, in the pain, as you do that, you are extending a kind of invitation. To the spirit of the Lord to enter into our conversation, the Spirit who promised us that he would never leave or forsake, that he would not abandon us as orphans, but would come to us.
The spirit manifests himself to us. He brings us wisdom, life, strength, and comfort. As we embrace friendship in Christ, he becomes the third traveler. He brings clarity, peace. He walks with these two disciples back to the road, Emmaus for some time. Explains the scriptures to them. They get clarity on the prophesied Messiah who would be crushed, but yet resurrected and exalted.
And the unit, remember the story goes as they sit and they prepare for dinner after this, you know, hours of traveling and talking and processing. As the third traveler who they're still, their eyes are availed. They have no idea who he is as he breaks the bread for dinner. Their eyes are opened and they recognize that they've been with Jesus all along.
And there's this obvious allusion to the last supper, obvious allusion to communion. And it's if, if he says, the final thing he says is, remember our communion? He breaks the bread and he vanishes. St. Bernard of Clavos suggests that the vanishing. Left the disciples with this fresh, awakened love and desire to know more of Jesus.
The, the absent of the bridegroom here leaves the bride in desire and. They said, uh, as they processed what had just happened, they said, didn't our hearts burn within us while he talked with us on the road? They had this shared experience of burning hearts with love and affection with Christ as they walk on their, their journey on their road and hear Christ unravel their confusion, bring truth to their despair, bring life peace and strength in their weakness.
And I would just to kind of like wrap this together, the. Common cultural experience for us is, is highly individual. Westerners are individualistic to the core, and we emphasize, and we should emphasize the quiet place of prayer. Go into your closet, lock the door. We should emphasize solitude. Um, but there is such a thing as two friends hearts burning together as they jointly experience truth and peace and grace.
As they pray together, worship together, process together, and the spirit seems to meet them there. Dietrich Bonhoeffer in his kind of classic life together, he lays this paradigm out that's been quoted a thousand times over, but it's, but it's truthful and helpful. He says, one who wants a fellowship.
Without solitude punches into the void of words and feelings. So to want friendship and to not have a quiet, intimate life with God is just this constant a word. Solid thing that happens. Feelings, but he says on the opposite end, and this is what we should hear as Westerners, the one who seeks solitude without fellowship.
So to be a person of, of secret and quiet prayer, and to not also be a person of friendship. Is to perish. These are his words, perish and the abyss of vanity, self infatuation, and despair. If you have your daily quiet time, which you should, yet you do not have friends to process and do life with, and to share with, and have communion with.
Dig, Bonhoeffer says You will plunge. You will perish into the abyss of vanity, self infatuation, and despair. So I think. Especially if you've been around this ministry for a while, you're a regular listener, you understand that you've gotta be a person devoted to the scriptures. You need daily quiet time.
You need to pray, and you need to read your word every day. I'm constantly trying to affirm and to push you guys towards a Bible plan. I think you should be on a yearly Bible plan. Again, I'm using the McShane. I used the Robert Murray McShane plan for years now. I think you should get on it. You need to have quiet time with God.
Bonhoeffer would say also though, if your entire life is seeking solitude, if your Christian experience is something that's only done behind closed doors and you haven't learned that Christianity is about communion, the church is not something that can be known, expressed, or experienced with one individual.
It requires. Friendship and communion. If you're not leaning into friendship, you will find yourself in despair. I would say as I kind of wind down these thoughts, pain is at the door. Okay. Despair. Is knocking, confusion is coming for you. You have an enemy who wants to see you in sorrow, confused and defeated, and he, as far as I can tell, he's not sleeping right, like he's actively trying to wage war against God's saints.
And we have lots of tools at our disposal, but there's one tool that I think many of us have missed. It's the tool of friendship. When pain comes, when despair comes, when confusion comes, I have the ability to journey with a friend to walk towards Emmaus, not alone, Perpetua and Felicity, to walk towards the coliseum, not alone, but with brothers and sisters in the faith who love me, know me.
We'll, we'll cry and pray and process with me, and as we do that, as we sit with a cup of coffee in our hands and say, life is hard and I am angry, help me to, to bring the word of God. It's truth, it's clarity, and to have it bear down upon my thoughts. Help me brother. My brother and the Lord looks at me and says, let's pray.
Let's go to the Lord in prayer. And we invite God and we ask for wisdom, and we, we ask for his peace and his truth. And then as we begin to commune together, I think the scriptural promise is that we are, we are, we will experience the kind of third traveler. We will experience the spirit who, who comes so that we wouldn't be orphaned and.
In that fellowship. So I experienced the Holy Spirit in my quiet time alone. He encourages, he edifies, he, uh, affirms and convicts in my quiet time alone. But I also experience the spirit in another way as the, as again, the kind of third traveler as I'm sitting across from my brother with a cup of coffee and going, I need help.
I just need help. I just, I'm just hurt and I'm tired and I'm frustrated. And so I am, I am trying to thresh you guys towards this concept of friendship that we see, again, I think here in the road to a mass. Uh, we see again in perpetual and Felicity, we see in the life of, of many saints that they have close friends who helped them.
You will be bloody bruised. You need somebody to pick you up and say, man, we're gonna finish well together. We will finish well together. The spirit will give us the strength. Um, for you guys who are in really hard seasons. You've got to pursue friendship. We established that last week. You gotta, you gotta find spiritual friends who are journeying together.
And then you have to embrace transparency. You have to get off your high horse. Be willing to look someone in the face and say, this is actually how I feel right now. And I know my, my thoughts are not God, the right, like they're not truth. My thoughts are fickle and, but, but. They do cripple me. So as I sit with you, I am, again, I'm unwinding the, the places where I've found myself really tied up and confused.
And so I, I challenged you guys last week, like, pick up the phone, find a brother or two that are also actively trying to honor Christ with their life and with their family, and initiate this process of friendship and discipleship and fellowship, understanding that Jesus intended this, he intended.
Friendship, we command friendship, and that we can't actually achieve sanctification. Um, we, we can't, we can't progress in sanctification as better language without friendship. We need it. Um, and so my challenge this week is that as you initiate that conversation, now you have to be. Transparent with the things that are actually happening in your life and in your mind.
You can't, you can't play Christian. You can't just pretend like you know and understand everything perfectly as if the mysteries of God are just perfectly clear for you. You, you've gotta be willing to go like, nah, I'm, I'm feeling beat up today. And I've messed up and I've fought wrongly. And yeah, I've, I need the spirit's help.
And, and that conversation that takes place, that road to Emmaus style conversation that takes place is an invitation to the Holy Spirit, to in, to kind of meet with you and infuse your life with fresh peace, joy, rest. So the challenge this week is like, as you begin to journey towards friendship, you have got to, um.
Be raw. You gotta be real raw with the people around you. And look, I, um, shoot, I, uh, am, am a lead pastor at my local church. And so there are certain times where I feel uncomfortable. Um. Unveil reveal, self-revealing to people who I am, uh, a functioning elder in our church, and I have, I have great spiritual responsibility.
There's a temptation for me, I think more than anyone to pretend and play like I'm the perfect pastor with. With just so much bubbly joy flowing through me, right? Like I know that temptation. And if anyone, like, I've got to and if I wanna encourage you, if you're in roles of spiritual leadership, don't bite man.
Don't give into the temptation to play and pretend, and to kind of giggle your way through life as if everything's okay while you're rotting. Behind closed doors, you've got to embrace humility and honesty and transparency. And when you do those things, you are extending a kind of invitation. You are humbling your heart and saying to the spirit, you promised to not leave me as an orphan.
He promised to come to us. Come help bring clarity and truth. So Jesus, I asked today that you would give us the strength. To not only begin to initiate real friendship, but to embrace humility, to reject the temptation to play and to pretend, but to embrace humility, transparency, honesty, to live raw, and that as we do those things, we acknowledge that the promise of the scripture is that you will come and unwind and untangle and, and.
Give peace and comfort in life. We bless you, we love you. You are worthy of service, worthy of our lives, worthy of our adoration. And I said, Jesus name, I pray. Amen. Alright, brothers, love you in your corner. Reach out if you need anything at all and just praying that this week is a week filled with the goodness of God for you.