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The purpose of the IT Leaders Council is to bring together IT Directors and Managers for leadership training, educational content from guest speakers, and peer discussions in a vendor-free, collaborative environment. IT Leaders Councils are currently offered in Indianapolis, IN and Columbus, OH, with more cities coming soon!
00;00;00;07 - 00;00;21;09
Unknown
All right. So really talking today about leaving intentionally. And the reason this came to mind. So when I got out of college, I was recruited into a firm right now. And I was pretty into what do they call one of these leadership program fronts. So they had leadership program tracks for lots of different finance technology, all of it.
00;00;21;11 - 00;00;47;10
Unknown
So they took us into college and said, Hey, go get a bunch of people. Awesome. What they also did, though, was they did give lots of leadership training. So now fast forward probably about 15 years, not sitting in my office again, I'm in technology. I'm obviously a woman and I'm diverse. So when any woman or diverse person came into technology, they said, Go mentor them.
00;00;47;10 - 00;01;09;23
Unknown
And I said, I'd love to because I love, I think, all of the above. A lot of the reason that I've been successful is someone took me under their wing. And so I remember sitting in my office across from someone, and as I looked at that person, suddenly the thought came to me that the best version of them was not necessarily just a different version of me.
00;01;09;26 - 00;01;28;00
Unknown
And it struck me and I was like, But I felt like I could mentor them. But mentoring really meant like, hey, well, I make these sets of choices, so you should be making these types of choices. And that just it felt it to me. So but I didn't know what to do with that. Then I'm on a fast forward about five years.
00;01;28;02 - 00;01;49;10
Unknown
I get married. We have our first child. My daughter Eleanor is going to be 12 soon. And I remember as I first had our I looked down at her and for some reason my first thought was, what if she wants to be a ballerina? I have no idea how to help someone be a ballerina. I had no idea that was why that was my first thought.
00;01;49;12 - 00;02;23;09
Unknown
But I looked down her. This is my thought. Then again, fast forward about six months. I started this course and they were explaining different types of leadership. And all of these things culminated for me in the different types of leadership. Unfortunately, we kind of put together all types of leadership together. We don't really distinguish them. So today we're going to be talking about four different types of leadership and allowing you to then one understand which one do you tend to gravitate towards, and then also also understand when others can be used.
00;02;23;16 - 00;02;48;05
Unknown
Okay, So we're going to be dealing with four types of leadership today. How many types of leadership? All right. Thank you. Just making it up. Okay. So the first one we're dealing with is managing. So when you think of managing, very simply managing is directing or telling someone. That's what managing is. If I am managing you, I am directing or telling you what to do.
00;02;48;07 - 00;03;11;05
Unknown
When you think about managing, also, the spotlight is on the person that has that experience, that person in most authority. So when you think about Spotlight, have you ever heard of Sage on a stage? Have you ever heard that? Okay, So when you think of Spotlight, so like if I don't stand up here, right, So right you all are.
00;03;11;09 - 00;03;39;09
Unknown
Oh, there's a tick, though. An actual spotlight here. Right. So you all are focused on me, right? Because I am imparting some very wisdom to you. If we were in a theater, the lights would be down. No one can even see you. It's all focused on me. So when I talk about the spotlight on these things, we think about the concept of who is the focus on in managing the focus is on the leader because they have the information.
00;03;39;12 - 00;04;04;09
Unknown
So when we think about managing this our first time one, it's directing or telling. So someone comes to you, you direct or tell them the spotlight is on that person and they importantly walk away with the right answer. Now, if they're walking away with the right answer, what does that assume? That the first person managing has the right answer?
00;04;04;12 - 00;04;27;00
Unknown
Right? So this only works if then I, as the manager, have the right answer, which is not always the case, is why we're going to go. That's why we need different kinds of leadership. So what's our first type of leadership that we just talked about? Managing. Managing is directing your telling? Managing is what exactly? Okay, good job. I know you're not.
00;04;27;00 - 00;04;45;11
Unknown
I'm really trying to help you guys get in. Okay? Because let me tell you this thing too. So I do adult education. And so no matter how entertaining I am, if you only listen to me, you will only remember probably about 5 to 8%. It doesn't matter. You can be like, Hey, that was amazing what she talk about.
00;04;45;12 - 00;05;19;26
Unknown
I don't know. However, if you then speak back to me and write things down, then your retention increases. Now the highest level of retention comes with if you listen to me, if you write things down and you then go practice it. So that's why there's a method to my madness around. All of this is not just to wake you up at eight 4540 Okay, so that was a little commercial break we talked about already one element of one element of leaving, and that was called like the first one managing.
00;05;19;28 - 00;05;47;05
Unknown
Now the second one is called mentoring. Now, when you think of a mentor, a mentor is advice based on experience. So if you want someone to mentor you in something that assumes they have achieved something that you would like to achieve. Okay. So I want you know, if I want you to mentor me because, oh, you achieved this certain thing.
00;05;47;07 - 00;06;16;15
Unknown
So getting back to my original story, they sent people to me because they felt like, Hey, you've been really successful in navigating this environment. Help them to navigate it, but mentor, it assumes, hey, I started over here. Here are the steps that I have taken to get into this position. So it assumes that you are going to take the same steps.
00;06;16;17 - 00;06;42;04
Unknown
And while sometimes that works because we all have different value systems, etc., sometimes that doesn't always work. I'll tell you another story. I came to the office once and there was no one who started, right? It wasn't used as a security. Every day, guys. She wore a different color wig to work and this is 20 years ago and it would drive me crazy.
00;06;42;07 - 00;07;10;25
Unknown
I'm like, We are never going to take her seriously. She is in a different color purple pink every day. But again, I was in my mind were like, These are the steps I took. I was, you know, I'm dressed every day in and Taylor of Banana Republic I'm very main at the time my hair straightened all the things and then I suddenly I looked at her and I said, you know, I don't want her to take this path.
00;07;10;27 - 00;07;30;00
Unknown
If that's what makes her happy. She should be in an area that makes her that is accepting of her. So in that case, when I think about mentoring, while I wanted to share my experience, I also didn't want her to think that in order to get to where I am, she only had to go in my path. So we now talked about managing.
00;07;30;00 - 00;07;58;11
Unknown
We talked about mentoring advice based on experience. Now the spotlight in mentoring is on the mentor, right? Because they have achieved something you want to achieve in the spotlight is on them. Now you walk away with what worked for the mentors. We are talking about that. So we got to now. The first one was managing in my room the definition of ending directing.
00;07;58;11 - 00;08;24;22
Unknown
You're telling mentoring is advice based on experience. So here's the experience I have here. Some advice based on. The third one is coaching. Now, coaching came to me at some point, probably mid in my career, so I didn't know I didn't do anything. So in addition to leading technology groups right now, Leadership Services Group, I'm also a certified executive coach.
00;08;24;25 - 00;09;05;01
Unknown
And so coaching came to me because what I loved about coaching is because it shifted now and it was it's asking questions to gain clarity. So think about it. So think about a really good who's a really good I you see is Tiger Woods that that feels really dated right now so it's desire but if you think about a really good athlete and you think about the coaches that they have, the coaches are never better than the athlete, like whoever was coaching Jordan or whatever.
00;09;05;01 - 00;09;28;20
Unknown
It wasn't a better athlete, right? But it was someone who could still help them through asking them questions, help them to tailor what they were doing. It helped them to get better. And so that's what coaching is about. Now, coaching really importantly, again, it sounds like that you're asking questions to clarify ton, but here's where the spotlight changes.
00;09;28;23 - 00;09;59;01
Unknown
The spotlight is on the person being coached. Now, you would ask me better, how can I tell where the spotlight is? The easiest calibration to where the spotlight is is who is doing the most talking and you are doing the most talking. The spotlight is on you. So even in my coaching engagements, it becomes a ton of self management to make sure that I am allowing the spotlight to just be on them.
00;09;59;03 - 00;10;24;18
Unknown
And then what they walk away with is really clarity in their path. So think about this with coaching. So say, you know, you want to live in some establishment, you want to live in something where as mentor, it would say I lived in a four bedroom brick house. So you must come live in a four bedroom brick house.
00;10;24;21 - 00;10;43;28
Unknown
Coaching really starts to say, Hey, let me ask you a ton of questions to see what type of house you want to live in. And then let me help you figure out how to get there. So even though I may live in a four bedroom brick house, we may discover that you really want a bungalow on a beach and there's no judgment in Buffalo on the beach.
00;10;43;28 - 00;11;01;06
Unknown
I'm going to help you get there. So that's really what coaching is about. It is how do I help them through a series of questions, get to what they want to do, and then also help them understand the path there. Okay. So now we've talked about three types of leadership. I'm sorry, I didn't look at the time how much I'm good.
00;11;01;08 - 00;11;29;13
Unknown
You're good. Thank you. Okay, let me we're talking about the three types of leadership. What was the first one? Managing. Managing is doing what directly you're telling. Then we talked about mentoring. Mentoring is advice based on what you experience. So you don't want to let a mentor you would never done what you're trying to get done. Then we talked about coaching, which is you're asking questions to do what?
00;11;29;15 - 00;11;50;03
Unknown
Clarify. So they come to you, they know they're going to look at something, but they don't quite know what. Or maybe they think they will live in a brick house with an adult around who lives in a brick house. But they're not sure. So it's really helping to clarify. And then the last one is my favorite. The last one is actual leadership.
00;11;50;06 - 00;12;19;28
Unknown
So and let me pause here to say all four of these, there are appropriate times to use any four of these. What you will find with yourself is that you probably have a tendency towards one or the other of them, but they're all appropriate. So what the intention of this discussion is now, instead of you just falling into what you always fall into as the top of the paper says, how do you lead intentionally around some of these things?
00;12;20;01 - 00;12;56;18
Unknown
So when we get to leadership, leadership, our questions to understand. So if you think about leadership, leadership is really all around inspiration, inspiring someone when you're leading them, it's really about they know how to get they know a lot of the tactical. It's how do we make sure that we're going in the right direction. When you think about the word inspiration, the root word of that is Spiro, which means to breathe life into to breathe life into something.
00;12;56;18 - 00;13;20;11
Unknown
So when you're truly leaving, you're inspired and you're breathing life into them. So what's the opposite of breathing life into something like the life out of it? We have all been on that meeting where it was like, okay, okay, this is my going to like, not this guy, right? Because it just kind of sucks the air out of the room or it sucks the life out of it, Right.
00;13;20;13 - 00;13;46;23
Unknown
And so that's the opposite. Inspiration. Leadership is all around inspiration that how do you inspire the team to do what they need to do because of some greater good? And so the reason that I like leading is because it's from inspiration and you're asking questions to better get them to understand. So there are several types of questions you can ask.
00;13;46;25 - 00;14;14;06
Unknown
The reason these questions we suggest start with how or that we've done. Let me do the reverse then Do not start with the question. Why? Because if I ask you, why did you make that choice? What's the initial response? If someone asked you why you're on the offense, defense Yes. So so my family like, huh, Why did you wear those shoes?
00;14;14;06 - 00;14;48;00
Unknown
And that was all my shoes. Like, I thought they were right. So you're automatically on defense. However, if you ask them, Hey, what about what about that choice made? You choose to go that way. Now, they could explain themselves and they can really take you in on that story. So you want to ask what are how questions? And then if you also ask another good leadership tact is you want to ask questions that get them to think so instead of like, well, why did you X, Y and Z?
00;14;48;00 - 00;15;15;25
Unknown
You may ask, Hey, what would it take for you to have a 90% confidence that we can execute this on time? What would that take? So now do you see how that now is not they're not on defense. You're asking what would it take in your calibrated to say about a 90% confidence right. So now they're thinking more broadly and now you're in a position as a leader to help those things come into fruition.
00;15;15;27 - 00;15;41;15
Unknown
So that's the difference between leadership because now that feels inspiring versus why would you miss the date that you made or why did you do X, Y and Z? So inspiration now, in order to be inspired, inspiring, you must be inspired. So I had a guy, I was coaching him and he says to me, his business went through a really tough time.
00;15;41;18 - 00;16;09;08
Unknown
There was no layoffs, there were no restructuring. And he says to me, Man, how can I inspire my team right now? And I asked him, What are you inspired by? And he really didn't answer me. So you cannot inspire people when you are not inspired because if you try, it will just feel fake, right? And so like that was like a woman know she doesn't.
00;16;09;08 - 00;16;32;10
Unknown
She didn't. She was people were always telling her to smile, often like you been going around the office, just smile as you like. So I tried to smile. Oh, like that. Now you look creepy because if it doesn't feel authentic, people will know. And so getting back to the inspiration, you have to first be inspired. And so you flip a sheet over.
00;16;32;13 - 00;16;56;10
Unknown
The question here is what inspires you? What inspires you? And here's the thing The angels do not allow you to tell people The angels don't have to see to be inspired. Let me tell you, one of the thing that inspires me most is I love people who love what they do. It does not matter what they're doing. If they love what they do.
00;16;56;12 - 00;17;13;25
Unknown
I love that one day I was sitting in the doctor's office. Excuse me, it was it was mid afternoon. I was a doctor and on the day you never know how long it's going to take. It's like your whole day is ruined. It's just I'm sitting on the edge waiting for the doctor to come in, and I'm overlooking the parking lot.
00;17;13;25 - 00;17;41;22
Unknown
It's raining. Just kind of going into my mood as well. And I look down and I see this guy in a golf cart and he's picking up people around the parking lot. And from my view, three stories up. I can tell this man is happy. He's driving around, he's getting that bull run, he's helping people in. And to me, that was inspiring because this man can also be like, I'm out here in the rain, shuttling people around to the steps to the door.
00;17;41;24 - 00;18;03;01
Unknown
But he was enjoying what he was doing and that inspires me. So I always like to say, you know, that sure. Even if they're elements that you don't enjoy about what you do, how can you be inspired in what you're doing? So my ask to you is what inspires you? Like what inspires you. We might have an example of something that inspires you.
00;18;03;01 - 00;18;27;01
Unknown
It could be work related. It could be not what inspires you. Yes, people grow. Seeing people grow inspires you. Yes, that's a great one. Yes. See, people follow your passions, like whether it's work or not work related, see them actually go after those same people, follow their passions. Yes. Work or otherwise. Right. I love it. What else? What inspires you?
00;18;27;03 - 00;19;00;05
Unknown
Curiosity. Curiosity? Yes, curiosity. Seeing someone really question that thing and understand it and love it. So again, if you want to step into true leadership, then it is around making sure to get it to inspire others. And before inspiring others, you have to be inspired. Now, the next question that you'll see on there is what do you want to inspire in others?
00;19;00;07 - 00;19;27;04
Unknown
All right. So it's not like general inspiration. It is. What do you want to inspire? Again, we talk about this concept of leadership. What are you trying to inspire? I'll give you an example. I started leading a team in about July, August timeframe, and these folks do not feel inspired at all. And so part of me wants them to just feel like, hey, we're a team, we're group.
00;19;27;10 - 00;19;50;00
Unknown
But when I think of what I want to inspire them, I want them to feel inspired, to have a sense of ownership, to really be able to solve our partners problems. That's why I'm inspired that you have all the skills in order to do that. So everything from my language to what I'm doing is helping them inspire in that way.
00;19;50;03 - 00;20;19;26
Unknown
So when you think of whether it's your team, your environment, your sphere of influence, which I love, I cannot wait to hear this next talk. What is it that you are trying to inspire people around you? You might have an example, something you're trying to inspire. You would like to inspire those around you in the examples, thinking that listening skills.
00;20;19;28 - 00;20;49;08
Unknown
Listening skills. Yeah. And so how do you inspire listening skills? By one demonstrating those listening skills? And also how do you inspire them that, hey, this is going to really help you out? All right. We'll take one more. What do you want to inspire in others? Collaboration. Collaboration? Yes. Too often it feels like us versus them. And then collaboration doesn't get in the way.
00;20;49;10 - 00;21;17;27
Unknown
Great collaboration. So understanding then what you're trying to inspire will help you. Then to figure out how do you lead appropriately? Okay, so we're almost done here. Let me go again back to leading intentionally. So I mean, I need a volunteer and I know when I told you about a volunteer, volunteered with somebody else as I didn't volunteer, I volunteer one.
00;21;17;29 - 00;21;44;27
Unknown
Oh, I love it. Diane. Yes. Okay. I wanted to count down. Five, four, three, five, three. Come on, Come out. Thank you. We're even in matching colors, but we're doing it. Yes. Okay, So, Glen, we talked about four types of leadership today, so I want you to leave me in these four different ways. As an example. Okay? Wait a minute.
00;21;44;29 - 00;22;09;11
Unknown
No pressure. You can do this. Okay, Great. Leader. Okay, so, Glen, I'm going to come to you. I'm gonna say, Glen, I want to take my family on our first international trip who've never gone before. How would you manage me through that process? How did you manage me? Well, you need to get a travel agent and will take care of it, So go see their outlook.
00;22;09;13 - 00;22;31;12
Unknown
Okay. So you see how you behaved, directed and told me what to do. I mean, it was marginally helpful, but mean Eric didn't tell me what to do. Right. So that's very much your team comes to you and you're like, Hey, I need a this is where you need to go. Go forth. I'll be successful managing. All right, now I would like you to mentor me.
00;22;31;14 - 00;22;54;29
Unknown
Meaning advise. Based on your experience, are we still say I'm still going internationally? Yes. Well, that's what you need to make sure your passport's up to date. And you need to make sure that all your kid's passports and shots are up to date. You kind of know where you're going and plan ahead and get out of the airport two and a half, 3 hours early.
00;22;55;02 - 00;23;17;24
Unknown
So that because if you don't, my experience has been that you can get stuck in TSA and that you're going to miss your flight, miss your international flight. Wow. Let me tell you, that's a real pain. You miss your international flight. So don't do that. Be on time, be early. Excellent. So you see how he pulled in his own personal experience to say, this is what I did.
00;23;17;26 - 00;23;38;24
Unknown
I know Lynn has kids as well, so this is what I did to help me go through that. So that was more mentoring now through it. And now what about coaching? Remember here to ask you questions, try to clarify my intent. So where are you wanting to go? Yeah, I'm thinking Europe and my husband like to travel and I want it to be something comfortable for him.
00;23;38;24 - 00;24;07;09
Unknown
So I'm thinking Europe. So we'll feel kind of similar. So what part of Europe? Eastern Western, the Mediterranean? Oh, I hadn't thought about that. Maybe. Maybe Western Europe. I feel like it feels very more similar. So is the do you like wine or beer or do you want to visit Spain or what interests you in Western Europe? Okay, excellent.
00;24;07;09 - 00;24;30;16
Unknown
So far. So you see how he's now asking me instead of just saying, hey, go get first, he would like a go to travel and go do the things. Now he's asking me like, Hey, have you thought about what side have you thought about what types of activities? I thought about these things. So that's helping me to clarify my intent and now leading inspiring people and inspire me.
00;24;30;18 - 00;24;56;19
Unknown
You know, Europe's really a neat place, but what is it that really interest you in Europe? Why does it excite you? Okay, so now he's turning it back to me instead of to help me to get inspired around like, man, why do I want to go on this trip? Okay, good job. But see you. You know you did, right?
00;24;56;21 - 00;25;24;25
Unknown
Okay, so the whole point there is you see how those conversations are very different depending on which part you're in. Okay. Now, if you think about it, think about these four different types of leadership. Which one do you tend towards? So let me see a show of hands who tends towards managing really, guys, really, really a group of activities that I manage.
00;25;24;25 - 00;26;02;07
Unknown
Okay, I like to do. I got one in the back who tends towards mentoring. Okay, Now I have mentors who tends towards coaching work, coaches who tend towards leading. Okay. Yeah. Got a couple. Okay. Okay. So again, none of these are you have to do one versus the other. The thing is, depending on what the situation is, depending on how you dictated or depending on also what you're trying to grow or inspire the other person depends on.
00;26;02;09 - 00;26;24;17
Unknown
So I will tell you that I tend to very heavily towards managing very, very heavily. I grew up in a group and are in factory and we've got to get stuff done to get the things done. Now what I will say is I flex towards coaching at the beginning because I'm trying to understand making sure that I understand, Hey, what are your goals?
00;26;24;17 - 00;26;46;02
Unknown
What are you trying to do? All those things? Well, when things get tough, I'm gonna listen. Go call the people, go get the stuff done. But I have to know. I have to know and understand that about myself. Because managing may not always be the most effective way to get this thing done. And if I know and understand that, then I can now make a choice that lead intentional.
00;26;46;03 - 00;27;10;05
Unknown
Yes, sir. Do you also need to know the audience for the person that you're working with? You kind of know a little bit about him or her before you figure out your family. So yes, I love that question. So what if you put it out here? You said you also need to know about the audience. So, yes. So there are times where people will come to me and I may not use these words, but I'm basically asking them, what?
00;27;10;05 - 00;27;25;29
Unknown
What are you looking for? Are you looking for me to give you the answer? You look for me to ask questions. Are you looking forward? Sometimes they know, sometimes they don't know. Also, there are times where even if they're looking for me to manage them, I'm not going to manage. I'm going to coach them. So I was given the example.
00;27;26;05 - 00;27;40;27
Unknown
I joined this team. There was a woman who has been on the team for 11 or 12 years and like my first week she brings me all this stuff like, What should I do? She's looking at me and I'm like, I just got here. I didn't know investors are. You've been here a lot of years. Like, what do you think you should do?
00;27;40;29 - 00;27;55;12
Unknown
And let's talk through that. So I think it's an element of knowing your audience, but also what outcome you're trying to get to because they may be coming to you always with energy, but that's not a given. And you can reset that expectation and say, Hey, I know you want me to give you the answer, but here is why.
00;27;55;12 - 00;28;20;16
Unknown
I think you're better positioned to have that answer than I am. All right. Any other questions? One of the questions do you have? Okay, So when we think about leading intentionally, just wrapping the stuff, the reason why I like to give a worksheet is, again, like I said, the more that you see it, you work it, you look with it, you look at it in a benefit with you.
00;28;20;19 - 00;28;41;15
Unknown
I want you to think through. Yes, these are the four different ways. One way is not that easy to narrow to think of. What is the one you tend to go towards? Is it appropriate or not? And what are the advantages of some of the other ones you see on the back at the bottom? I have the words and big boy to then try trap.
00;28;41;17 - 00;29;03;19
Unknown
So what some people will do is they will say, Hey, I'm going to try to do more coaching and so I'm going to sit in this chair guys. Now what does it look like if I try to get up? What does that look like? Can I try to get up out of this chair? Like, what is that? What was that?
00;29;03;19 - 00;29;23;28
Unknown
Was that right? Either you're doing it or you're not doing it. And so when people say, I will try, that is like my introverted part, my introverted friends, I I'm going to try to come to that party. Do they have any intention of going to that party? No. When you say you're going to try to do something, you're already giving yourself an out.
00;29;24;01 - 00;29;47;13
Unknown
And so by avoiding this prime trap, what I'm saying is pick one of these. Anyone that you want to practice more often, anyone who could be coaching it could be leading. And then I want you to think through that. What are you going to try to do? Well, what you are planning to start doing to support that and what do you need to start doing to support that?
00;29;47;16 - 00;30;07;25
Unknown
So because I have a tendency towards managing, what I have to stop doing is I have to slow myself down in the conversation because they come in. What I think is the solution will come to me very quickly and I want you to jump in. And so what I have to stop doing is jumping in early and giving them time to process because they may process something.
00;30;07;25 - 00;30;28;23
Unknown
So it's something I, I have to not try to do. I have to do. So what I'm going to encourage you guys to do as we wrap up is pick one of these for that you want to lean into it and think through what are the things that you want to commit to start doing to lean into that and what are the things you want to start doing to lean into that?
00;30;28;25 - 00;30;32;19
Unknown
All right. With that, I believe like that time. Thank you very much.