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"A LOT with Audra" is the podcast for women juggling big dreams and full lives. Each episode, host, Audra Dinell, Midwestern wife, mom and neurodivergent multi-six figure entrepreneur encourages women to embrace their many roles holistically by living a values-based life with confidence and joy. Through candid discussions, practical strategies and inspiring stories, this podcast is your guide to designing and achieving success without losing yourself in the process.
Ep63
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Speed Up or Slow Down
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[00:00:00]
Audra Dinell: [00:01:00] So I ran into an entrepreneur, mama friend the other day, and it was such a quick interaction. We were, I was walking out, she was walking in, I was leaving with a friend ready to go pick the kids up from school. She was walking in with her kids, but we stopped for a quick moment and gave each other a hug and she was like.
What's going on with you this year? Are you speeding up or slowing down? Doesn't it always seem like we're doing one or the other? And that really got me thinking because it does, I feel like. I am in a season where my foot is on the gas, I am focused. Or I'm in a season where my foot is on the brakes and I'm slowing down and I'm saying no.
And there are also those seasons where it feels like I just need to put cruise [00:02:00] control on because I'm focused on something that needs more of my energy. And while there's the temptation to grow. I know that I need to just keep the pace that steady is what that season needs from me.
Why We Crave Growth
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Audra Dinell: That's not the only conversation that I have been in lately about growth.
I have been hearing about and talking about growth with clients and friends with women in transition, and people who are doing well, but feeling restless. Growth for me is something I've always craved. It's a high value. I'm a person that doesn't just want comfort. I don't just want stability. I also deeply desire expansion, which can look so many different ways.
If you're listening to this podcast, I'm guessing you might be drawn to growth too. You probably [00:03:00] don't wanna stay the same, you probably don't wanna coast. You want to build and stretch and try and become. For me, growth makes me feel alive, and it's also so uncomfortable. Oh, that's the truth about growth.
It's so uncomfortable. It looks so sexy when you're on the other side of it, or when you're seeing someone's after. But in the middle of it, it is rough.
Discomfort Is a Green Flag
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Audra Dinell: And I think somewhere along the way, we may have gotten this idea that when we're uncomfortable, we might be in a misaligned situation. We think things like, if I feel nervous, then I just shouldn't do it.
Or if this stretches me, maybe I'm not ready, but I just believe, no, no, no. That is absolutely not it. In fact, being [00:04:00] nervous for me, feeling that pit in my stomach is a flag that I need to take the next step. To me, signs of growth, feel like sweaty palms, a vulnerable post that I'm about to make, and feeling that like anxiety in my stomach before I hit publish.
It feels like a boundary that is needed and anticipated not being well received. Growth feels like movement that leaves me sore. It feels like a hard conversation that maybe didn't go perfectly, but I showed up for. So for me, discomfort isn't actually a red flag. It's a green flag. When we're craving growth, we have to move past the idea that it is gonna be cozy and comfy.
Because listen, [00:05:00] there is a time for that. And when you're in a season of growth, it's just not gonna be that. In fact, one sign I know that I am growing is when my work days often feel uncomfortable. Like the pit in my stomach I've described, or actual sweating like I carry deodorant with me. I like, I'm so serious.
I carry deodorant with me because I sweat a lot and not because I'm just like a sweaty person. I sweat because I continuously put myself in these positions that make me feel stretched, that make me feel a little nervous, and that's that green flag for me.
Create One Sweaty Moment
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Audra Dinell: So stock up on your deodorant. Pick a thing that stretches you a conversation, and ask a risk, a creative act, a truth that you need to tell to yourself or to others.
Because here's [00:06:00] what I know, if I go too long without stretching myself. I start to feel stagnant, I start to feel flat and irritable. Growth makes me feel alive, I think because it reminds me that I'm not done becoming that. We're never done becoming if we choose. So what would it look like to you to build in one sweaty moment this week?
Pace Growth and Recovery
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Audra Dinell: Now, all of this to say. We do need to build downtime based on our capacity. When I said I continuously put myself in situations that make me sweat because I want to grow, that doesn't mean all day, every day. There have definitely been seasons in my life and in building my business where I am putting.
Almost daily in those situations. There's also been seasons where I have been in a major slowdown or on cruise control where I rarely am putting myself in those seasons. In the middle of those two [00:07:00] extremes, I probably do something uncomfortable in my business. Two to three days a week. So when I say continuously putting myself in these situations, there's totally a spectrum there.
And for me, I do need to be real about my capacity because I'll need recovery time. When my foot is on the gas, I may need less recovery time, but when I am in more of a normal season where it's like maybe. Between cruise and gas, and I am putting myself in uncomfortable situations two to three times a week.
I really have to think about what kind of growth or what kind of recovery do I need to support this growth because I have been there with the foot on the gas and burned out many, many times. I don't believe any of us were built to live in [00:08:00] expansion mode 24 7. I mean, I think about. You know, our muscles grow during recovery seasons our.
Businesses grow. When we take time to reflect and learn lessons, not just barging forward year after year, our confidence grows when we slow down and trust ourself and begin to do what we say we're gonna do, it becomes integrated into us. So I'm just learning that if I wanna stretch big, I must build softness around it after a hard launch.
Give ourselves space after a vulnerable post or talk. Maybe it's a quiet walk. I did not mean to rhyme there. Okay. After we have taken ourselves to a growth edge, perhaps we rest.
Santa Fe and Emotional Agility
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Audra Dinell: I've talked a little bit, but I spent a week in December in Santa Fe at this retreat starting the process to get certified in a concept called emotional agility, and I needed so much space [00:09:00] that week.
My internal. Introvert just came out, I was in this crazy season of life, it being holidays, and we were in the middle of a remodel and there was just a lot going on in my personal life and I was so excited to be there and to learn and to grow and to be around all these amazing people. At the same time, like I knew I'm pushing myself to like my emotional.
Limits my, my presence limits, and I need time after that, growth to rest. So I think this is especially important if you're wired like me, high activation, high vision, high appetite. For more, more, more. We. Don't have to prove we're serious about growth. By exhausting ourselves, we have to prove we're serious about growth by pacing [00:10:00] ourselves at times, giving ourselves the downtime and the recovery we need.
Ask Your 80 Year Old Self
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Audra Dinell: So this is a short episode, but one thing I always come back to that I wanna end us with when I'm thinking about. Growth is my 80-year-old self. I love the question, what would my 80-year-old self want me to do? We may have all seen those reels going around on Instagram where the creator would say, you know.
I, I woke up today and realized I was 35 again, and went through this whole life of like beautiful gifts from their 80-year-old self version. I love thinking about my 80-year-old self because it just takes me up higher. I love asking myself, what would my 80-year-old self want me to do, because I see that version of me.
Not anxious, not worried about what others [00:11:00] think. Not worried about my image, not worried about looking silly or being misunderstood. I'm worried about regret the things I don't wanna regret. I know that my 80-year-old self would want me to be courageous and She would want me to live into this one precious life that I have been given. She wants me to use my voice and she wants me to try. So when I ask that question about my 8-year-old self, it helps me zoom out. It helps that discomfort gets smaller.
It's never gone for me at least, but it's more manageable. And what happens when I am in this practice of growth is that my ability to tolerate discomfort gets better. I get more comfortable being uncomfortable, and that's how I expand the truth about growth. It's gonna stretch us, [00:12:00] expose us. Exhaust us if we don't pace it, but it's gonna make us feel deeply, beautifully alive.
Final Growth Season Reminder
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Audra Dinell: We don't have to grow in every season. There are seasons for stability and healing and play and holding what we have, but if you are in a growth season, you have to stop expecting it to feel easy. Ask yourself, where can I sweat this week? Where do I need recovery and how can I live in a way that my 80-year-old self would thank me?
Growth isn't about being. Someone else or something else. It's about becoming more fully who we were created to be, and I believe that is fully worth the price of discomfort.
[00:13:00]