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Welcome to our mental health awareness podcast. If you're one of the millions of teens, adults and (entire) families being diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, ADHD (hyperactive)/ADD (inattentive), Anxiety, Depression or other Neurodiverse conditions without a meaningful support group or a roadmap, jump right in with us.
Our raw and unfiltered journey will help you. We'll break it down and talk about it in a real, raw and sometimes tragic perspective. We lived it. And thanks to a few key people, we're still alive today to talk about it. So let's talk about.
00:00 I'm back baby baby I mean I mean all right I probably shouldn't call you baby baby but I am back 00:29 because I don't know who's listening could be a dude right which is fine just 00:39 totally fine but I'm just saying it's not my thing um school if it's your 00:44 thing my thing's being autistic and I think this speech proves it I also 00:55 am autistic and I have ADHD and anxiety and depression I'm a mess but I am back and I've 01:07 got a few surprises on my sleeve welcome back to another episode of you 01:18 don't sound autistic on Blake and I'm Hannah and I'm autistic and I'm not huh so just to fill 01:28 you all in it's been a minute since I recorded any podcast episodes um clearly 01:35 Rochelle's not here so Hannah has graciously decided to lend a hand so Hannah and I actually 01:44 work together and I'm his favorite coworker should we say that with your current roommate who's 01:52 also a coworker yeah no but I'm obviously better than her in many many ways none of the ways 01:59 that count but in my eyes you're both tens see what I did there you know what we're moving 02:10 past okay fair enough um no but the reason I I just wanted to kind of change up the format a 02:17 little bit because previously with Rochelle you know it was a lot of um science information not to 02:25 say that that won't be something that will be discussed but my ultimate goal is to just keep 02:31 shedding light on the autistic experience and to inspire other people to you know go out there 02:37 and get diagnosed if they're so you know if they feel like they want to be diagnosed but obviously 02:42 don't have to be but it does help with certain things like getting um accommodations and that's one 02:48 of the things I wanted to talk about today so I had a therapy appointment last week and my doctor 02:56 was like have you thought about requesting accommodations at work and I'm like yeah but I'm on the 03:02 phone all day like I can't wear ear buds like you know what I mean yeah and so the whole thing 03:08 it's it's they're like wow if only you were less difficult can you be less autistic like no can you 03:16 try no um no I'm trying already no I'm not really trying um it is weird though like there's like 03:24 work me and then like people that work to like wow you're you know like I've told a few people 03:30 that I'm autistic and they're like no and I'm like yeah I'm kind of offended by that that's 03:35 ableism yeah no they have this idea in their head of what autism looks like yeah and they 03:41 can't believe that someone with autism can make it in a professional environment which is 03:46 exactly yeah oh like but you can talk and you make eye contact and I'm like and it's killing me 03:52 inside and this is my hell every day yeah like you're looking right at me and I'm like I'm looking 03:59 right through you I'm looking at the spot between your eyebrows yeah but yeah so it's like 04:06 I've been calling out of work because I haven't been feeling well for multiple like either 04:11 physically feeling sick or just mentally not able to be around people for the day kind of thing 04:22 and it's like my somebody going back to what my doctor said she was like you know you could you 04:27 could try and get intermittent FMLA which I had no idea was a thing I didn't either you told me that 04:35 you wanted to look at that yeah I looked into it unbelievable it's crazy that more people don't know 04:41 about that yeah I mean it's essentially I think you can get up to 12 weeks of FMLA but you don't 04:50 have to take it and you know like if you're because I think you can even do it like when like 04:58 when you have a baby like you can do intermittent because you can maybe like your spouse stays home 05:06 with the baby and then you stay home with the kid like once a week or something so then you could 05:13 spread that out across months and so my doctor basically was like you know you could 05:20 take a day or two off a month and have your job be safe yeah and not be a thing where like 05:27 it's planned right so yeah so I don't know if anyone else listening if we still have listeners 05:35 is number one yeah is is like I mean what do you what would you think as a as a co-worker you know 05:47 like I know obviously we get along and everything but yeah you know when you see that someone's 05:53 missing work and whatnot like they're not gonna tell them like oh it's because 05:58 struggling mentally so I was thinking about this earlier kind of from two perspectives 06:08 because I mean I have a chronic illness that it would be amazing because as soon as I saw 06:15 the intermittent FMLA I was like oh my god this could really help me instead of you know just 06:21 stuffing it out and suffering through work and then thinking about it from you know the autism 06:27 side of it I'm like that makes sense too um and so I could see that truly working but unfortunately 06:37 I feel like we're in a society right now especially where we work where people feel entitled to know 06:42 why we're not there right and it which is so against the law by the way oh no absolutely it absolutely 06:49 is but it's like you miss one too many days in their eyes and it suddenly oh well they don't do 06:57 their job oh well you know maybe if they were here you know things would be better for us 07:03 and it's just like we don't really know what's going on is you know people's lives yeah and so it's 07:10 like and it's not any of your business technically to ask me right like it's it's the employer's job 07:17 to you know quote unquote like police the employees or to put policies in place and you know for 07:23 something like that that's protected by you know what the Americans with disabilities act and yeah 07:31 HIPAA like they're not supposed to be and it's funny is that people do like they'll like 07:40 blur it out they're like oh this you know like oh this person's sick I'm like dude you're not 07:44 supposed to say that you're supposed to say they're not in today oh yeah no there there are people 07:49 who will just give you verbatim the text message that got sent to them right and it's like okay hey 07:56 maybe don't read the message about how I'm like shit in my pants to have the company please guess who 08:03 shit themselves yeah time's up Hannah which time oh my god um but yeah like I just feel like 08:17 because it's really kind of like an invisible disability it's really hard to explain like because 08:23 people want to see you like drooling in a wheelchair before they understand why you're not there 08:28 right yeah they're like oh bless his heart I'm like oh bless my heart my heart needs blessings too 08:35 now play oh god yeah we had this we had this coworker who uh and she ain't gonna listen to this 08:42 fucker um she would like if there was if she made a mistake she would be so but hurt by it if you 08:51 would said like hey you fucked this thing up in the nicest way possible then she'd be like now 08:57 Blake you know we're not supposed to do that and I'm like great and it was always you I know it was 09:06 it was always you and so now multiple people hey Blake I know oh yeah that's true yeah um 09:16 it's uh oh shit what was I gonna say invisible disability no no just kidding no the the 09:24 I'm trying to think we got to give her a name so that we can talk about how about uh 09:30 Barbara Barbara Barb that's a that's a good old southern lady name yeah Barbara the billing 09:39 Barbara anyway that's actually funny because that's my brother's mom's name is Barbara 09:44 okay don't don't listen to that Barbara this isn't about you she she unfortunately has been dead 09:50 for like 20 years thanks for bringing it up well now we don't have to worry about her listening it's 09:57 yeah that's true man we are just knocking them down you know I try to bring up as many 10:03 and sensitive topics for you and your family appreciate it um so yeah no it's like I feel like 10:11 um oh that that's what I was going to say about her it is that she can I don't know if you feel 10:19 comfortable talking about it but didn't she say something about autistic people and that you and 10:26 you were like because she was like oh yes oh my god I completely forgot about that yeah she would 10:32 I don't so I am very very open about my struggles with mental health and so I guess in 10:41 these old women's perspective that means that any questions they have they come to me about it no 10:48 matter how you know offensive something could be yeah and so she came to me one day and was like 10:55 now now Hannah that's my equivalent um I heard that people with autism don't have emotions 11:07 and fuck it and my brother is autistic right and so I just kind of looked at her and I said 11:15 that's just not true Barbara like because my brother I want my face you see my face I was like 11:23 yeah who the fuck is oh right I want that on a t-shirt now that's just not true Barbara um and I 11:29 was like my brother is one of the most emotional like understanding empathetic people I've ever met 11:37 my life right like what are you even talking about right well it's that comes from a misunderstanding 11:42 and like the way that as I've said in the show many times like my uncle and I have a cousin 11:49 who's autistic he's non-verbal I think he's like 30 something now um my uncle's like 70 he is 11:55 verbal very verbal like calm down Bob if anything we want him to be less verbal yeah well he's 12:03 he's so funny because like there the doctors used to say he was like schizophrenic and all these 12:10 other and then like the second I was diagnosed I was like shit Bob's autistic as fuck I didn't 12:15 know I supposed to say that but he's he's he has more requirements for his needs than I do you know 12:24 but I know I do think that like he's you know he does the rock I was like he looks nuts 12:31 but I stemmed in different ways and now I just try not to care but I don't do it in public really 12:36 I just feel uncomfortable and then I get home and I'm like rocking away 12:41 hey you have it built up have you seen that take talk where it's like the love surge 12:49 is this lady and she's like with her husband and like you know cuteness aggression yeah yeah like 12:56 when you see a baby you're like fuck I just want to squeeze it yes it's like that in her and her 13:00 husband will hold each other and just shake and they call it a love surge that's hilarious 13:05 because it's all their love coming out just in that one moment that's you with your stemming at 13:09 yeah yeah like I'm like I gotta get it out I'm like it's it was raining and and I hate rain as 13:17 I've probably said before but it's it's like I don't like the like unless you're supposed to be 13:24 in the water like I don't want to get wet like swimming pool fine but like even showers are questionable 13:31 I'm like hmm I feel like it needs to be like is that why you're so stinky yeah 13:38 I'm joking absolutely you know it's funny that you say that I actually got when I was at 13:42 publics because I was working like you're you know it's very physical right yeah and working in 13:47 grocery like lifting shit and whatnot and I'm like I shower every day but like I'm like you 13:53 can see I'm sweating right now because it was I showered before I came over here and then I 13:57 walked out I know I know and I'm like I gotta like I'm like I'll show you a picture of me in the 14:02 shower I promise I did no I'll take you on your word holding the newspaper the fuck did he find 14:11 that right where do you get the newspaper yeah right um but no and then my soul my boss had to 14:16 sit me down and tell me I smell bad you're oh no and I'm like I I'm sweating because I'm 14:24 fucking working hard and he's like well people have complained oh fuck no and I was like I'm 14:30 the smelly kid in class you wear the same hoodie every single day yeah oh my god and so I'm so 14:39 overly paranoid now about it I get it you know what I mean yeah and it's like I don't feel like 14:46 I don't like I don't like I'm I'm fine with being bathed well being based I was like 14:51 you're like a dog like someone's the royal yeah we have to put you on a leash and walk you 14:57 up into it yeah and someone has to hold you down exactly yeah they're like just take it 15:04 geez you've heard that though before what just take it just take it no what are we talking about 15:12 I don't know okay moving on um but yeah so you can see how this is jumps all over the place 15:20 so it's like you were Hannah was asking me she was like oh like what are the rules 15:24 oh you're welcome to say penis as I told you go go go go for it 15:30 penis congratulations thank you yeah it feel good oh that sounded weird if I don't know moving on 15:38 again man um I love being awkward sometimes but it's not my favor um but it's okay because we work 15:46 yeah yeah um on uh oh there's so many things that I need to talk about that I haven't I don't 15:53 think talked about on the show before but um I've been dating mean we're um me and Rochelle as 16:00 you probably know like we're in uh not the best place and so we eventually got a divorce and 16:11 now we're co-parenting pretty well together um we do like holidays together we just went to 16:19 Tennessee with the kiddo who's now seven and a half I think the last time we recorded he was like 16:24 four and he's the cutest child I've ever seen in my life mean to yeah he's he's and he's 16:31 fucking hilarious he he just like you can't have a bruise to ego around that kid 16:38 don't tear you apart um shit stupid ADHD what the hell was I talking about before that 16:45 before that yeah I don't know before the life update oh with the life update maybe that's 16:50 what oh so okay divorced yeah got that oh it's dating that's what I was gonna talk about 16:54 dating yes I one of my favorite things is coming into work the day after you have a date really 17:02 yes because I'm thinking about it I'm on the edge of my seat I'm like Blake how did it go please 17:11 yeah so I'm gonna I want to share a couple of my great dating things minus the the woman that 17:19 said I was a five that wasn't even I never even got to meet her dang it was like through text 17:27 it's fucked up how can you even say that I know I'm like you looked at my pictures and swiped 17:31 it was like yeah that was a mistake well you know I will say and this is not what she did with you 17:38 this is not what I'm saying but as a woman on dating apps sometimes I just be swiping I just 17:45 be swiping true so and I'm sure men are the same exact way I don't like the way the apps are 17:51 now because when I started you know like when the internet was invented you could go on and like 17:57 read the profile and like you could just send a shit ton of messages to people now it's just 18:02 swiping no it was amazing I had such a no because look you would filter you would filter everybody out 18:09 that sounds horrible everyone I would just filter by like I'll be like okay the distance and all 18:15 those different things which is kind of a weird thing to search by it's like that is he's on 18:19 sorry joke where he's like I want someone Jewish in my zip code I found the one closest to me 18:27 but um but that's kind of what you do like you know a certain point yeah and the apps will 18:32 like give you people from like you know we're in Georgia and it'd be like North Carolina I'm like 18:38 she's pretty fucking far away but not a six hour drive no nobody six hour drive pretty dang 18:47 I mean Sydney Sweeney maybe you don't like her see but it doesn't help she's not a great person 18:52 she's the best I'll over that's unfortunate you see the house made no oh man I watched it twice 19:00 that tracks yeah that tracks just because of the the the performance yeah I'm sure yeah yeah 19:06 it was top notch Blake I know anyway um so yeah the this one date and I'm you've probably heard 19:14 me say this because I tell me stories that work I sure hope so um but though so I was talking I 19:20 always joke around about doing drugs even though I don't do drugs other than like the pharmaceuticals 19:26 I like to give it to yeah by the doctor but um I'll slightly so I'm talking to this woman and 19:34 she was like oh blah blah like you sound really hyper and I'm like yeah I just did a bunch of 19:38 blow yeah so here's the thing I don't have air conditioning in my car I don't think I had air 19:44 conditioning in my car when I last recorded Blake I was just yelling at Blake like to donate 19:50 this is why you're sweaty Blake I know I know um but if so I show up on the on the date and before 19:59 the date I should have known it was a big red flag she said nothing no sexual contact 20:05 on uh the first date and I was like I love this story I was like okay and so I get to the place 20:13 she picked and it was like a like wine tasting place and she's like I don't drink why are we 20:21 here yeah she's like oh because you know you like stand up I was like I I do and I was like it so 20:29 the guy gets up and starts the host I guess he just he talked for like 30 minutes and then he was 20:35 like our next comic and I was like oh shit he's a comedian that he was bad that's tough so 20:42 as this is happening I'm sweating from my walk from the car to the inside of this wine place 20:51 and I'm just drenched and she's looking I mean she goes are you okay and I was like yeah why 21:00 she's like well I know you do cocaine oh so let's also just note she went on a date with you 21:08 thinking you did cocaine yeah and I probably really did look like I was start itching your arm 21:15 I'm just like oh my god fuck I just I just I'm just she's like why are you so sweaty I'm like 21:21 no no no it's just my natural juices don't sorry um anyway anyway so like the date is like 21:29 over we escape from the terrible comedy night and at the end of the date like I thought was 21:37 gentlemanly I was like I went in for a little hug how dare and you would have thought 21:44 you whipped it out in front of her yeah I was like finger in the butt is that appropriate yeah and 21:53 she's like you're making so she hugged me back and then like I get by the time I get to my car 21:58 I have a text message that says hey that was fun but you made me very uncomfortable I told you 22:07 nothing sexual and I'm like shit I just I was like a hug and that was so fast by the time you 22:15 got to your car yeah that's insane I'm just motherfucker oh boy hug me will you that's so me 22:24 could it though don't hug me well on a date don't let me back then I was like I was like hey can we 22:30 hug it out yeah it was like so like a bro hug even was like I pressed myself against it wasn't 22:37 a boob hug no yeah like the guys that are laying their face on the right and it's like okay I guess 22:44 mommy's here oh good lord oh my god you can talk about finger up the butt but I can't say mommy's 22:53 fit B everyone that listens to the show knows what a fit B is figuring the butt interesting yeah okay 23:00 I coined that phrase I think but I don't know if that's true probably not I know whatever I respect 23:04 the confidence yeah I like it it's the first time I ever heard it was when it came out of my mouth 23:10 okay but yeah so here's the thing about this woman the story continues because this woman 23:19 she um she invited me over to her house to watch a movie different woman no same woman 23:28 that thought I was coked out and was offended by my hug okay so I get in her house 23:35 and she I get in her house I break open a window and I find her asleep no and I'm crawling through 23:42 her Vince yes but I'm I she welcomes me into the house and it says get out and then she was like oh 23:53 what movie did you want to watch and I was like oh there's just really this movie that and I do love 23:57 this movie it Palm Springs which is a movie with Andy Sandberg the one you had me watch yeah okay 24:03 and to me it's just it's fucked up and it's funny and so I was like oh that's that's a fun movie to 24:09 you know that eat an edible and watch a movie don't that I do that but if I did allegedly so I 24:16 get in the like living she said oh do you want you want something to drink I have water so 24:21 to whatever I'm like yeah so she got me coke yeah do you got any blow um or heroin black 24:28 tar heroin only black tar yeah well that's only the best for me and hopefully it's cut with 24:33 something yeah no you don't you want uncut I know she doesn't know anything about drugs anyway Blake 24:42 I'm sorry some of us aren't crack addict oh my god I would love to eat so funny they're like I 24:48 didn't realize he was so into the drugs yeah I don't y'all don't know work Blake yeah right you're 24:56 like what a coke at yeah um I go in her house and she had moved you could tell like you know 25:05 like the marks on the carpet she had two couches they were so far apart from each other legally I 25:14 don't know if they were even in the same room anymore that's the county line was but yeah so I sit 25:20 down and she sits next to me and then immediately notices that she's sitting next to me and then she's 25:25 like oh oh let me get that water for you and then she goes and sits down on the couch that's like 25:31 a footballs throw away and at the end of the movie she was like okay well that was fun don't touch 25:39 me um like an idiot Blake no fit me no no I I went for a friendly hug and she this she was like 25:53 this motherfucker exactly pulls out a weapon hug this try and take it Jesus and so I get I get in 26:06 the car again like almost immediately there's a text oh this time it was I thought I told you 26:15 Blake I just want to be friends I mean to be fair she did tell you I mean who doesn't hug their 26:22 friends I don't hug my friends oh no that's I have sensory problems and it makes me uncomfortable okay 26:30 fair enough she was just am I am my wrong here that that's kind of weird no you're not wrong 26:38 did you ask I don't or did you just go for it I just kind of was like okay nice to see again 26:45 and then I I went what do they say they go and they tell you to go in 60 and wait for the other 40 26:50 I went 60 maybe 59 and she gave you the she hugged me she was like I did that out of 26:57 obligation no obligation is crazy what oh my god yeah her response to it is what makes it crazy yeah 27:07 it's just like just ignore me like everyone else does oh Jesus just tell me no one I'm nasty and 27:14 sweaty yeah you're like you're gross um do you have any I mean this is it's it's sort of on 27:22 topic but like do you have any dating stories that are funny that oh my god oh Blake you have to 27:29 which would you tell tell the one about the ride that the guy gave you okay um so luckily my 27:36 mother already knows about this so it's okay for me to talk about um when I was like a junior 27:43 or senior in high school I as unfortunately a lot of young girls do was yearning for male 27:51 validation and attention same I know I can tell and but so I would lie about my age and join 28:02 dating apps now I was under the impression that Tinder was like for hookups um because it had 28:08 like just kind of become a thing I think and that ages me it's fine and um I did that said I was 28:20 18 and joined okay cupid which is maybe the worst one for a minor girl to be on she shouldn't 28:31 be on any of them note that but like that one's scary a little bit sometimes and so I got a message 28:39 from this guy named Justin they're always gotta be a J name I know it was either Justin or Jason 28:47 either way not good and things were going fine he was really weird but I was like but he called 28:54 me pretty so like it's okay um and then he followed me on Instagram I found his and it had one of his 29:03 like post was him smoking weed right and immediately I'm like oh my god he's a criminal oh my god 29:11 oh my god I'm so scared he's addicted to the drugs yeah yeah and so I was like oh my god I really 29:20 should stop talking to this guy but like you know he's so cute he wasn't um and and so I kept 29:32 talking with him and then a couple weeks later it was like early release or something from school 29:39 and I had been talking to him and he said that he was going to be in my area because before he 29:46 was like an hour or two away I think and he said he was going to be in my area and wanted to know 29:52 if we I wanted to hang out and I was like yeah sure whatever um and then I remember sitting there 29:57 and I was so nervous because I was like I have to tell him I'm not 18 at this time I was 16 30:03 and so I messaged him that I say hey oh boy I just want to let you know I'm not 18 I'm 16 30:10 and he said that that was okay and I said who you know bullet dots really yeah I mean 16 30:19 year old Hannah I said who okay he doesn't care that I'm a minor right um also mind you not the 30:25 legal age of consent either I don't think yeah um either way bad news bad news how was 30:33 this dude again um he was like mid to late 20 yeah um and so I said that he could pick me up 30:42 from school and um and so everyone else at school is like you know getting picked up by their 30:51 parents whatever and I'm standing there looking for a man I've never met before in the car rider 30:58 pickup lane right and I see this guy walking towards me and I said oh I think that's him it was 31:05 I walk up we hug sorry Blake and we hug and you know say like pleasantries like oh how are you 31:14 like it's nice to meet you whatever and we walk up to his car and there are two men in the back seat 31:22 and I said oh bad idea veto um got in the passenger seat and uh we're driving his friends are 31:32 talking to me talking to him I was a little nervous I'm not gonna lie you know um even as you should 31:38 me and I think I should have died right and then he has to get gas and so we pull into the gas 31:47 station whatever he gets out to pump the gas and his friends are talking to me like asking me how old I 31:51 am you know whatever and I'm like oh I'm 16 but I turned 17 like in a couple weeks and so still 31:59 not 18 no no and they're like oh okay nice yeah that's almost close enough yeah they were like 32:05 that's the legal age you know like of consent or whatever and I was like yeah like 32:12 slay and then Justin Jason gets back in the car we start driving to the mall 32:20 and his friends like grab my hand and put it in his so we're holding hands and they're like oh 32:28 Justin Jason is like so smitten with you you know blah blah blah blah whatever 32:34 and I'm like ugh because at this point I had never kissed a guy I had not like I was pure 32:42 little innocent baby Hannah and while you're getting into a windowless panel van 32:49 precisely this has puppies this doesn't seem like a good idea but I'm gonna do it anyway 32:55 because I'm socially awkward right I didn't know how to say no right and we get to the mall his 33:03 friends go off and do something else he and I sit in the Barnes and Noble and like eat a muffin 33:10 or some I don't know and mind you he's looking a little tough but I'm like no he's just like rugged 33:19 that's like what older guys look like you know isn't rugged just another way saying ugly no 33:27 maybe and then he has to leave and I text my parents and I'm like hey can someone come get me at 33:38 the mall I was studying with my friend and so things are fine I'm uncomfortable for like 33:46 a little bit and then he starts texting me because of course I didn't stop texting him right male 33:51 validation like I said and he then tells me that he wants to move into the woods with me and he wants 34:00 to live like off the grid um yeah needless to say he was blocked after that that's murder talk 34:08 yeah no like I I think it is a miracle I am still here yeah that's I mean that it's just I've 34:17 been in a few situations and I'm a dude and I'm like this is sketchy uh-huh but I'm like I don't 34:22 want to be rude right not get murdered right um yeah I I don't remember if I told you the story 34:29 and or if I've shared it on the show before but it's apra feels apropos um there's this my sister 34:36 was telling me she was like you know what you should never do on a date which I don't think she 34:40 needed to tell me this hug someone yeah don't be a fucking creep and start hugging people how dare you 34:49 so this dude my sister is on a date and they're driving and it's they're going to a party 34:55 and the guy's like um hey so uh are you pretty close to your family and she's like yeah I guess 35:06 so you pretty close to your dad ew why are you asking me that my dad's dead she's like um I guess so 35:15 and he goes well let me put it this way ew if I chopped you up in a little pieces and mailed you 35:22 back to him how mad would he be and she's like he he'd be pretty mad I am not sure my mouth has 35:34 ever been opened that way that is insane I have the police on the phone right now dude this is like 35:41 the 90s like she was like this is like no cell phones that is insane so she gets to the party and 35:48 sees like the first friend and she's like take me home now help help me imagine no no okay so I've 35:57 put myself personally in stupid situations I don't think I've told you this and I don't think 36:01 the this this happened like I don't know a year or two ago I was on one of the apps let's say it 36:08 was okay cute but because that sounds right yes um so this woman any any time a woman messages me 36:18 first I'm always like hmm are you real because they'll be like hey handsome and I'm like fake 36:26 I'm a five at best right acknowledge me as such yeah exactly so um she's she she like 36:34 gives me her number and like we start talking on the phone and she's like we should hang out and 36:38 I was like yeah totally meanwhile I'm like this is such a bad idea and so then I go to meet her 36:44 oh Blake I know and she's like meet me outside the dollar general and I was like isn't there 36:50 where people go to get murder that's so romantic yeah we love a dollar general and and she's 36:56 a she she gets in my car and she's like can I smoke a J in here and I was like who the fuck talks 37:01 like that did she look like her pictures um yeah interesting she did which was surprising she was 37:08 luring you she was like I need more weed and then we're gonna go party and I was like yeah we are 37:13 oh no so let your dick do the thinking yeah and so men think with their dick and then I need 37:23 emotional validation yeah that's yeah yeah so it gets worse um I go to she was like oh um 37:34 I need some money to buy the weed and I'm like how much money are we talking about she's like 37:41 she's like well it's an ounce and I was like well that's probably a lot of money 37:47 and she's like yeah so I go in no to like a like and I like left her in my car like I'm like God 37:55 you know I'm so brilliant anyway and so I go inside and I'm like I'm gonna placate her 38:04 but I'm not gonna break the bank because I don't have a lot of money 38:08 so I took out $20 and I was like maybe we could just get an eight 38:22 she's like this isn't gonna cover it and I was like well this will just be my part of it 38:29 so I drive her to like where her friend is that she's gonna buy this weed 38:34 and she gets out of the car and I never see her again really oh I sit there for like 20 38:41 minutes and I'm like yeah I got scammed I know it dang and I'm like the whole time the whole time 38:49 I'm like you're getting scammed and I'm like but what am I gonna say right I mean because you 38:55 can't like report it be like yeah I was driving this girl to go by we yeah and I thought I was 39:01 gonna get some I was thinking with my penis yeah hello officer don't ask you to do the same thing 39:11 but yeah and then I go home and I'm talking to my mother I love your mom um and she's uh you 39:20 know it's funny decided I might actually record an episode with her which would be fucking crazy 39:25 I buckle up everybody I love your mother um giving her the opportunity to explain herself 39:34 it's gonna take a long episode it's gonna be a couple episodes long it'll be like a little 39:39 three-parter yeah like what are they what are they mini series oh lord I actually thought it'd be 39:45 funny if uh because she's like we should do a podcast I'm like what would we talk about and she's 39:49 like we talk about whatever we want and I was like but you say shit that would defend people 39:53 yeah no definitely and I was like if anything I would call the podcast stop or my mom will talk 40:01 I love that I love um maybe that'll be just the name of the episode when I do record with her but 40:06 um yeah I'm talking around the phone and and I told her about the scam and she's like but you're 40:10 so smart and I was like not tonight I wasn't you're smart but your penis it is nothing to do with 40:16 being smart and that's I really think like that's why autistic people get taken advantage of 40:21 because we're so socially uncomfortable and unsure and maybe want to give people the benefit 40:27 of the doubt even though like our brains smart enough to know like this is fucking stupid my brother 40:33 is the way where it's like unless you do something to him like he believes everyone is good 40:43 and I that's how things like that happen with him yeah I mean it's it's like I don't know I've 40:52 I've dodged so many little bullets like that was a $20 mistake not that not that bad 40:59 you were smart for not pulling out more than $20 yeah wow yeah hey side note um 41:07 I'm gonna go buy some weed can you drive yeah yeah um can you give me your part just like 41:14 ahead of time do you want to hold my wallet for me too yeah is your social security card in there 41:19 absolutely awesome and then if you could just scan me over your birth certificate okay here hold on one 41:24 second thanks I appreciate it yeah that's basically how easy it is pretty much but I mean there's 41:31 obviously like within reason but yeah I want to tell one more old dating story this is before I 41:40 ever met Rochelle or had Declan or anything and I'll make it quick because I'm not sure if I've 41:45 ever told it before but that's the thing 70 episodes this is episode 72 nice so it's like you might 41:52 end up repeating yourself yes so um but yeah I went on I went I went this was like in the days of 41:58 my space nice right I never used my I bet you probably were just like too young yeah no absolutely 42:06 um and so this this girl hits me up on my space I'm 21 she was like 19 okay and was like 42:16 hey buy me and my friend booze and I was like hell yeah um because I'm like the dude in the panel 42:25 van I made sure to check ID I'm like seriously checked ID was like do you have your ID on you 42:34 yeah like a dark wood you said don't look at my badge yeah um so I bought us a bunch of booze and 42:42 we watched boondocks saints and then they were like we should go in the hot tub and I'm like 42:48 oh yeah you're so excited to check oh man you're well one of the girls I wasn't so excited 42:55 about the one that I was talking to was definitely mm-hmm good looking and especially for you know 43:03 a five um you're pulling up I know right so I don't have a bathing suit and they're like just 43:12 going your boxer shorts and I was like okay so the girl that I've been talking to at least I 43:17 thought the whole night is like well I'm gonna go to bed and leave you to alone oh no and 43:22 leaves me with her gross friend oh who it's like four in the morning the sun's peeking out 43:32 and now I'm in my boxer shorts and I'm shit faced oh and she's like I know and she's 43:40 shit face too she's like I know that you want a fuck my friend and she will never fuck you 43:48 and I was like okay and she goes but I will and I was like oh that's not necessary you say you 43:53 don't have to it's okay she starts like slowly you know like in horror movies how they're never 43:59 running they're really like but they're just always there yes yeah like you come around a corner 44:04 and it's like how the fuck did they they're running and then like they stop or something and so 44:10 I start slowly getting out I'm dripping wet we didn't have towels so I'm oh I walk in the door 44:18 shivering I walk in the door I'm pulling my clothes on over my wet body I'm like where's my keys 44:25 where's my everything got a grab boom doc saints don't want to lose that one so I get all my stuff 44:31 I get in the car my windows are rolled down because it was warm outside because you still didn't have 44:36 AC yeah exactly different car without AC and so she starts walking toward me when she has a drink 44:43 and she's like what are you doing why are you leaving why does this keep happening to me oh no and I'm 44:52 rolling my windows up like she's fucking Jason Voorhees you're screaming no you're crying because I 44:59 thought she was gonna like splash her drink on me or some shit as if you couldn't get any wetter 45:05 but it was you have jeans over well I'm already drunken about to drive home okay many question I mean 45:11 yeah I was totally sober at those point yes yes um but um so I back I back out of the neighborhood 45:19 she's chasing me hey girl do you think I'll be like oh actually maybe I don't want to sleep with her 45:25 you seem normal yeah like that was gonna change your mind yeah so I get I don't know I get like 45:32 a few miles away and I just parked uh-huh in like a grocery store parking lot and like passed out 45:39 and then when I woke up like I got home and my brother's like dude where'd you because I left 45:43 the house and in California you can buy liquor until like two in the morning 45:47 uh-huh every day doesn't matter and so interesting it was I must have left the house at like 45:53 11 30 or something PM yeah that's crazy drove got the liquor you can't get me to leave the house 46:00 after about I'm 42 now right something like that my 40 somebody be 43 Jesus Christ so old um 46:10 but yeah I I just can't but I like the fact that I did like I just do shit like that 46:20 and those are the only two stories I'm willing to share because I'm sure they were worse ones 46:25 but I mean I have yet to step into a panel van but the right candy comes along and you never know 46:33 depending on what the side has spray painted on it yeah I'm like oh that's a cool clown 46:39 right right absolutely yeah no I agree um 46:46 uh so tired so very tired you live such a hard life I do yeah it's very tough to pretend 46:54 all day at work mm-hmm so that's why like a nice long weekend like this is is great uh it's 47:00 memorial day happy what do you say happy memorial but man never mind not just regular memorial day 47:06 my grandpa day of remembrance he went on a rant on Facebook about memorial day about memorial day 47:12 he said he like listed two people specifically and was like you know people like these two 47:19 died so you can have your rooms to go mattress sale and I'm like oh shit he's kind of spitting 47:27 right now but like dang that's hilarious yeah oh my god um oh um I wanted to point out that 47:37 um I think I totally forgot to mention in the beginning my little spiel I usually do where I talk 47:43 about the Facebook group so we still have the Facebook group um now that we're gonna be recording 47:48 new episodes um they'll be that'll be the spot to go and check or you can just check on spot 47:54 a fire any of the uh platforms that host podcasts because from pretty sure that uh why do you say 48:01 you don't send logistics on all of them um also if you oh shit I gotta look at my phone um I'm on 48:09 TikTok now and I'm like kind of obsessed and uh you love to make videos and then come to my 48:16 desk and make me watch them ah okay he holds a weapon to my head oh yeah and makes me watch his 48:24 TikTok finger guns finger guns yeah um I guess I'm at autistic dude 42 wow clever name 48:33 well is I thought you were 43 I think I'm gonna be 43 this year okay I think after after 48:39 fort I'm like every year yes shit that's that's a tough that's a tough one I'm gonna take that 48:46 user name so you can't I'm gonna be autistic dude 43 okay why don't you get ahead of the game and 48:52 be like 46 or something really just fuck with you if you yeah you know kind of like when this 48:57 when people know a Star Wars movies coming out and they buy the domain yeah yeah like Star Wars 49:02 dot com and they're like yeah I'll sell it to you for a billion dollars yeah I'll do that with you 49:06 okay yeah that's how much the show is worth by the way I thought so I figured based on my my research 49:14 I said whoa yeah I'm a little scared we have dozens of listeners no but you know the thing that's 49:20 cool though is that people um over the years have reached out and been like hey man like why aren't 49:26 you guys doing the podcast and you know the main reason is that with like Rochelle and I 49:34 having our divorce and everything and you know that was just not fun for anybody and so 49:39 it was kind of just like maybe let's not pretend you know for you know for the show and so she may 49:48 come back and do some episodes um I don't know for sure so to answer that question because people 49:54 are asking really is it just you and I'm like what just me what do you mean just me no you got 49:59 the artistic one I'm here hello MC we have Hannah to help out um and I had a few other people 50:08 that I was talking to and um I don't know some were you know like either not interested or you know 50:19 because I get it it's like a lot of people realistically like a few hundred people will probably 50:25 listen to this episode I mean that's more than you and I yeah yeah yeah um so I can understand being 50:32 a little nervous about people hearing you know you talk and like because this there's no script 50:38 or anything right it's just a free flowing conversation and what I used what I used to do is I used 50:43 to edit the episodes like heavily and cut out every um an awkward pause and parts I didn't like 50:49 and all that shit now I'm just too lazy and I feel like it's more authentic to just put it out 50:54 there the way that it is like natural banter yeah exactly so I mean that's why like sometimes you'll 51:01 hear just like um me panicking I'm like what do we talk about now you can hear his voice quiver yeah 51:07 that sounds like one of those novels voice quiver his voice quiver as he hey stop entered the corridor 51:14 of her lady parts or something there are some crazy terms being used in those those are the books 51:22 that Hannah reads when oh really yeah okay yeah um there was this this woman that I um was talking to 51:29 and she she wrote I'm not gonna shout out her book because fuck her no free plugs no but she um 51:38 she wrote a book about her life and her I don't know what she the word whore is in the title 51:49 whore not my word her word whore whore yeah okay like I'm a whore and I was like oh cool book 51:56 nice yeah I started reading it and I was like oh man let's chicks you are a whore you you are a 52:02 huge or that's great that was actually just my book oh okay yeah yeah I didn't want to say it was 52:08 you but it's fine Hannah the whore myself hey Hannah the whore's crazy I mean you know I've 52:16 heard worse so that's fine you know it's funny in my in my mind I see it as two inches for some 52:23 reason Hannah the whore here the whore do you hear no um but she's she's uh I think she just 52:32 tricked me into buying this book you know what I respect I gotta get those sales she was like you 52:37 should buy my book and then we should do the things that I do in the book I was like fuck yeah 52:42 what's the book about then I look at the whole yeah I look at the cover and I'm like 52:47 hell yeah you said I'm gonna have myself a very dirty lady but um yeah I like the books 52:56 I was whatever you can laugh it's okay oh wow but yeah like she like after like she was like you 53:04 bought the book yeah cool and then she ghosted me I'm returning this to Amazon right and I'm 53:09 leaving a bad review a good read tell you what she you know tell you what's not in the book is how 53:15 she broke my heart yeah no yeah see with books like that there are some terms that I think are 53:26 really funny that you would think are funny so my favorite the one that I reference all the time 53:33 flaccid no they love to call penises velvety which I wish you could hear the look on my face 53:44 and that's amazing but not even close he said this shit's like sandpaper no you get rugber 53:56 no no but I reference all the time so you're familiar with the butthole right like the butthole 54:09 like capital T the butthole I don't know what you're talking about you have a butthole yeah absolutely 54:16 okay they love to call it the butthole no your darkest hole what oh my god oh my god okay um 54:32 there's some there's some really funny one in the beginning I did say that the format would be 54:37 a little different little did you know how much attention would be spent on the butthole 54:43 I aka your darkest hole I mean you told me that I could say penis no I know fair and so the 54:54 safety talk about anal as well can we talk about my darkest hole Blake oh my god that's 55:00 fucking that's so funny um there that one of the weirdest terms since we're on the subject 55:07 that I've ever heard for someone's butthole was a rusty sheriff's badge 55:14 I was like it's it's so accurate and like how it just kind of I don't know it just is 55:23 because picture a rusty sheriff's badge I'm like huh yeah that's amazing yeah wow 55:29 so oh man we've covered the gamut here well darkest holes and dark horse velvety penises yeah yeah 55:40 yeah velvita so get ready for a flood of messages oh yeah asking to continue this conversation 55:49 about I bet the butthole yeah yeah yeah yeah I know I can't wait to tell people like you changed 55:55 you changed my life Blake because people have legitimately said that they're like I didn't 56:00 realize how much I needed to hear about my darkest hole yeah thank Hannah for me as well no it'll 56:06 be more like keep that bitch as far away from a microphone as you can get her oh yeah I don't 56:13 think so maybe I don't know I mean it's funny because like going back to dating like there've 56:19 been so many times I've been on dates with someone and I feed and this is I think an autistic 56:24 trait it's either an ADHD trait or an autistic trait where I really feed off of the energy of whoever 56:29 I'm like across from right right and so like if they're boring then I'm fucking boring as hell 56:36 yeah and if they're like super cool and chill and funny that I'm fucking hilarious and so I mean 56:42 that's your opinion wow I'm sorry that was mean yeah that was I'm sorry hit me right in the dark 56:49 hole in in your darkest hole my darkest hole that's dark but it's not the darkest you know what the 56:57 name of this episode is gonna be welcome back to you don't say an autistic the darkest hole I mean 57:04 I think that's fitting yeah that's fitting and that's where I live I used to give all the episodes 57:09 like these really funny names yeah and then Rochelle would tell me to change them she'd be like 57:14 that's not cool like one of them was I was talking I would just think of something that was funny 57:19 that was said during the episode she wasn't wrong though because a lot of those episodes have the 57:25 like lowest amount of listenership like one of them was called wings of beneath my wind because 57:32 I was talking about gas being gassy and because a lot of autistic people have gastrointestinal 57:41 issues as part of that fun package that we get to live with and she so then it got changed to 57:47 something like the unilateral something or other sciencey name and I was like I like the fart joke 57:55 no I think you should make it whatever you want yeah well now she'll I mean she'll probably 58:01 listen to this and tell me out what there's any dude I think knows this is that when when you're 58:10 in a relationship maybe maybe just me I don't know but I feel like every relationship I've 58:15 ever been in the woman will tell me after the fact what I should have said and I was like if only 58:20 you were here to tell me what I should have said to you before I said what I said to you 58:24 dang yeah yeah so but yeah I'm assuming because there's times when I like I'll be talking to 58:31 Rachel about tackling and she's like oh you shouldn't you should do this you should do this and I'm 58:36 like can you read all this down too many things too many things to remember me have little brain yeah 58:43 exactly let's see what time is it 57 minutes that's pretty good yeah I don't know it's been a while 58:50 I don't remember how long the episode I mean I think about an hour okay pretty good good length 58:56 good length okay Facebook group check that out check out TikTok autistic dude 42 or 47 if you want 59:07 to talk to Hannah yeah um you look it's 43 bitch um and then uh I'm I'm definitely planning on 59:18 recording new content more episodes and bringing the show back so I hope it's cool yeah right 59:25 and I want to thank Hannah for for being here and uh I feel so honored yeah shout out to her mom 59:31 who's uh hopefully she won't hate you anymore I she hates me probably not oh man you just 59:37 don't have a good track record oh because of yesterday yeah they're gonna be like what happened 59:43 yesterday see but then we were talking earlier so sorry um and someone was like that's the lady who 59:52 took Jake Jake that's my brother who took Blake's chicken so she also felt very defensive over you 59:58 so it's kind of both oh shit should we talk about the chicken incident you want to talk about chicken 01:00:03 gate yeah chicken gate yeah I mean it's it's this is how stupid my work place can be but I got your 01:00:11 back you know I know like you were dude I was like oh shit I was on a mission she's gonna give 01:00:17 someone the business right now I was on a mission yeah so um I I have two rubber chickens 01:00:26 I don't know how to explain they're just too I have two rubber chickens at my desk and I 01:00:31 squawk them I used to be for because you know we we're making money sometimes I just do it for fun 01:00:39 and it's random you would take requests too oh yeah you're like Blake do the chicken chicken time 01:00:44 squeeze that chicken so choke that chicken choke that chicken at work yep in the middle of the floor 01:00:51 yeah yeah um so I had uh I had one and then one of the other women that worked there left and she 01:00:58 gave me and I'm not kidding it's an emotional support chicken it's got a little vest on it 01:01:02 and it's really it is quite loud like the other one you can squeeze it and it's like 01:01:07 and the other one's like oh yeah that one's my favorite and they're gonna do it do it yeah I know 01:01:13 and so like some of the ladies in the office had these little rubber ducks and they were like 01:01:17 squeak squeak squeak and I was like I had a rubber duck I was squeaking Marie had one and so 01:01:24 there was this cacophony of squeaking and I was like oh god with the big chicken to show you're 01:01:29 assert your dominance yeah I came in and just peed on the fire like men are here thank god I was 01:01:37 getting scared um and so and then one of the women she just walks over across from like she's 01:01:44 in the other side of the office and she far away from you as humanly possible and she's got this 01:01:50 weird look on her face and she's like yeah and she took it off my desk and I was like what the 01:01:57 fuck are you and she said I'm confiscating this yeah and then she gave it to a supervisor which I 01:02:03 was just like what the and then it became a thing because Hannah was like this is fucked up 01:02:09 because you can't just take people's thing oh and I know it was like I get it like my my 01:02:14 thought behind it was first of all I've squawked the chickens many a times I'm a chicken squaker oh yes 01:02:21 yeah I just realized you have a piece of shit drawn on your calendar is that a piece of shit 01:02:28 yes or is it a beehive it's a piece of shit with flies coming off okay just making sure yeah I 01:02:32 drew it I told you 80 HD let's let's rock this bitch um so anyway um so like Hannah goes to 01:02:41 my boss who goes to the other person's boss no that's not where it started it started I went 01:02:48 to that person's boss oh you did oh I thought you went to our boss no I came in heated I was like 01:02:54 I don't want to get our boss involved but I'm gonna handle the situation because I know you're 01:02:59 too nice sometimes and I'm like okay well I'm gonna put my big girl panties on I'm gonna go get 01:03:06 this fucking chicken and so I went to that lady's boss and I said can I please have Blake's chicken 01:03:12 what an odd sentence to come out of my mouth but I said it and she was like no he's not getting 01:03:18 that chicken back and I said what is she say he's not getting the chicken back I don't like it 01:03:26 and I said well like no one over in our department thinks this is like funny 01:03:33 and it's upsetting a little yeah and she was like I don't I don't care like he's not getting 01:03:40 it back and so I said all right looks like I'm moving up the chain then because I tried being 01:03:46 nice about it and so then I went to our boss and I said hey just want you to know someone took 01:03:52 Blake's emotional support chicken and then their boss said he's not getting it back so let's handle 01:03:58 this yeah and then at that time that the person who took the chickens bosses boss came in that's 01:04:06 what it was and I said he went over and then he walked over to me and I was like I'm so sorry 01:04:11 about this I don't know what like how long have I had those chickens a long time and it's never 01:04:18 been a thing no and then there's a lot of annoying shit that happens in that office yeah and sometimes 01:04:24 I need a chicken squat if that's all at least we're not doing crack out on the floor not on the floor 01:04:31 right in the bathroom is a different story oh yeah but like I I don't know I was worried that I was 01:04:39 crossing some kind of boundaries yeah or like trying to act like the the night swooping in like 01:04:49 don't worry Blake I've got it but it's also like I was just really heated at the time and I'm very 01:04:56 protective over like my people yeah you know and so yeah and so the big time boss 01:05:06 when I got the chicken yeah so and that's chicken gate ladies and gentlemen yeah um 01:05:15 I feel like that's a good place to stop for the day it doesn't get better than chicken 01:05:19 no it doesn't so as I usually do I have new music for you so that should be playing any second now 01:05:29 I haven't actually put it in here yet and I'm toiling with what I'm gonna use but I imagine 01:05:34 it playing right now and it sounds amazing oh my god I love it yeah me too well this is you don't 01:05:42 sound autistic and I'm Blake and Hannah and I will be back and maybe Hannah will come back so 01:05:51 oh my god please tell him how great I am so he looks me to this again there you go all right thanks 01:05:57 y'all see you next time bye 01:06:57 you