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You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community. We want to see Christian mentors thrive.
We want to hear from you! Send any mentoring questions to hello@youcanmentor.com, and we'll answer them on our podcast. We want to help you become the best possible mentor you can be. Also, if you are a mentoring organization, church, or non-profit, connect with us to join our mentoring network or to be spotlighted on our show.
Please find out more at www.youcanmentor.com or find us on social media. You will find more resources on our website to help equip and encourage mentors. We have downloadable resources, cohort opportunities, and an opportunity to build relationships with other Christian mentoring leaders.
You can mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring organizations through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples. Learnmore@youcanmentor.com or follow us on social media. You can mentor. The topic is you've got to earn the right to be heard. If you've tuned into this podcast for any length of time, you may have heard me say, a kid doesn't care what you know until they know that you care.
Speaker 1:It's one of my favorite sayings. Why? Because I think it's 100% accurate. I have seen many mentors get rejected when they try to start the mentoring relationship with giving the mentee advice. I call it the advice monster.
Speaker 1:Simply put, your mentee really doesn't care what you know. Most are not impressed by your job title or college degree, and, honestly, they don't wanna hear about your financial planning strategy or how you became successful, at least not right off the bat. We, as mentors, must earn the right to be heard. Early on in my mentoring journey, one of my mentees named Jason wanted nothing to do with me. All I got from him were icy glares, one word answers, and sarcastic comebacks.
Speaker 1:I would come home rejected, and I thought for a long time that Jason hated me. I almost quit. But over time, I figured out that it was just a test. You see, while I thought Jason didn't like me, he was really sizing me up to see if he would allow me to be a part of his life. He wasn't being mean.
Speaker 1:He was protecting himself. It was a defense mechanism. He was seeing if he could trust me. Jason didn't open up until he knew that I was the real deal, and that took a lot of time and a lot of work. Here are 3 ways that you can earn the right to be heard with your mentee.
Speaker 1:Number 1, keep showing up. Perseverance is required in your mentoring journey. Some mentees will warm up to you the second they meet you, but others, especially older mentees, may take some time in opening up. You can win their hearts by continuing to show up time after time with a smile on your face. Know that the fight for their heart is worth it, and the waiting will pay dividends as your relationship progresses.
Speaker 1:I know for me, it's hard to wait, and sarcasm, impatience, or a failure to understand why they won't open up, that will only delay progress. Instead, smile, ask good questions, and put yourself in their shoes. Doing that will help open up the door to their heart. Number 2, we have to seek first to understand. We must realize that you are asking your mentee to open up to a total stranger.
Speaker 1:That's a tall order. It can be kinda awkward. It's not the easiest thing in the world. But entering into a mentoring relationship with humility is a great way to earn the right to be heard. You don't know what your mentee has gone through.
Speaker 1:You don't know their past or their story. You probably don't even know their personality or their temperament. Spend the 1st season of your mentoring relationship seeking to understand who they are, what they've been through, and where they come from. Open them up to your life as well as opportunities arise. Make it your mission to learn as much as you possibly can about your mentee, and how they are wired, and what they've experienced.
Speaker 1:We must focus in on them instead of on ourselves. The last one is make their life better. Serving your mentee in whatever way necessary is a great way to earn the right to be heard. How can you make their life better? Be on the lookout for creative ways to bless them.
Speaker 1:Maybe they need a ride somewhere or a connection to get a job. Perhaps it's giving them access to a new experience or some place to hang out with their friends. It could also be as simple as encouraging them, and making sure they leave your presence with a laugh and a smile. I have never met a mentee who doesn't love food. So you can serve them by giving them a ton of great food.
Speaker 1:Serving them in practical and encouraging ways is a great way to earn favor with your mentee. Focus on earning the right to be heard. Know that this might take some time, and it will for sure take some effort, but it's a great way to lay the foundation of a healthy mentoring relationship because it's worth it, and they're worth it. Thank you so much for tuning in to the You Can Mentor podcast in this mentoring minute. If you learn something new, share it with a friend.
Speaker 1:We're super grateful, and remember, you can mentor. Thanks for tuning in to the You Can Mentor podcast. Please share this with other mentors and download our free resources on our website. You can also order Zach's book, You Can Mentor, or John's book, Mephibsheth, on Amazon. Lastly, we'd really appreciate it if you gave us a 5 star rating on whatever listening platform you are tuning in on.
Speaker 1:If you'd like to connect with us further, please contact us through our website because we're always looking for new guests or connections. Thank you. And remember, you can mentor.