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Step into the dark side of public speaking with “The Public Speaking Horror Show,” where we expose the chilling fears and epic stage fails of speakers who’ve lived to tell the tale. Join us as we dig into their nightmares and discover the killer tips that turned their terror into triumph.
Laura Reid: [00:00:02] Welcome back to The Public Speaking Horror Show where we slay fears, ditch the boring, and uncover what it really takes to be on stage. Today's guest is a powerhouse in leadership and coaching, someone who knows a thing or two about finding your voice and owning your worth, even when that little imposter voice tries to creep in. He is an executive coach for Wharton Business School, a sought after international speaker, and a leadership whisperer to some of the biggest brands in the world: Google, Apple, Microsoft and more. But he didn't just wake up one day as top leadership coach. Nope. He walked the walk, flipping burgers on Main Street to leading HR on Wall Street. With over 30 years of experience in Fortune 500 leadership, he has helped hundreds of high achieving professionals turn imposter syndrome into their super power and step fully into their potential. He's also the author of the award winning book Find Your Voice as a Leader - there it is, awesome - where he breaks down exactly how to lead with self-worth, self-reliance, and purpose. So if you've ever doubted your own success and felt like you weren't enough or questioned if you truly belong at the table, you do. But buckle up, because today's guest is about to drop some serious wisdom on how to silence your inner critic and amplify your true voice. Let's welcome Paul Larsen to the show. Welcome, Paul.
Paul Larsen: [00:01:40] Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Okay. Like, where is that person you're talking about? Like, I want I want to learn from that person. Like I can't wait to meet that person. It's like really? Like, wow, that I, you know, thank you so much, Laura. It is an absolute pleasure. Aloha. Aloha. I hope, I hope it comes the right way. If not, it says aloha, Laura.
Laura Reid: [00:02:09] I love that. Aloha, Paul
Paul Larsen: [00:02:10] Yes. Thank you so much. And, you know, it's so funny whenever I hear myself being introduced and certainly, you know, being blessed to be on these wonderful, wonderful shows and events or speaking or in any other kind of venue, it still can trigger, who is that? Really? Is that really me? Did I, you know, have I done that? And do I believe that? The imposter voice can live at all times and some days it's like, it's kind of diluted and then some days it is full on steroids, you know? And I just, you know, as we talked today, but it's so funny listening to that because it still can come out at any, at any point. And this is what I live and this is what I thrive with and this is what I coach. So, but thank you so much for that such eloquent intro.
Laura Reid: [00:03:05] I see that person. I've got them pinned on my screen and I'm so excited to have you here. But I think that's so relatable. And probably, I mean, definitely for myself and for so many listeners whenever I'm being introduced, and I mean, I've sent them the bio and it's all true. I fact checked it. It's happened, but at the same time I get kind of uncomfortable or like and almost, yeah, I think it's that imposter syndrome thing. And then there's like an expectation that, you know, I have to be that person, but I am that person. And there's this conflict. So I think it's so relatable and humbling.
Paul Larsen: [00:03:40] I, you know, I love what you just said, and I think it's a wonderful sort of lesson that we're having right here because we, you know, to your point, we wrote the bio for the most part, I, you know, I, we authored it. But to be able to sit in the present and acknowledge wait a minute, that is me. I have done that. I have. I can validate that. I can acknowledge that. I can recognize that. I can celebrate that because that has come in terms of who I am in my life. But to just sit in the present, which is what's happening, and to allow that and to receive it, even something as kind of simple as an introduction. You're absolutely right. And so I think it's wonderful because to your point, these things happen all the time. And to be able to recognize it and say, oh yeah, okay, that's, it's going to be my imposter voice or my imposter thoughts. And thank you for that. Because what it means to me when I have those thoughts and feelings as I just delineated to you, and that is I'm doing something fun, different, new, which is what I'm doing right here with you. So, so it's like it's, yeah, so it's great because my imposter is like, wait, wait a minute. This isn't what you normally do on a particular day at a particular time, because it's like I'm doing something different and fun and new. So thank you.
Laura Reid: [00:05:08] I love that. It's like you recognize the imposter voice, but then you also say, you know what? Like, I don't got time for you right now. Like I'm doing something really fun and I'm going to receive it and be present here. And yeah, so just like, shut up.
Paul Larsen: [00:05:22] Shut up.
Laura Reid: [00:05:23] That's good.
Paul Larsen: [00:05:25] And I've learned to do that. You know, we'll talk more, you know, as we go through I have learned to do that and you know overcoming stuff. Oh my gosh it does, it just sounds so tiring to me and fatiguing. It's like I got to overcome that, I've got to like climb some stairs, I got to like, it just seems like we got to climb those mountains. You see those little memes, got to climb the mountains and get over on the other side. I decided early, early on when I recognized what imposter syndrome was thanks to a wonderful coach and mentor I had back in 2004, I decided I'm going to learn about it. I'm going to lean into it, and then it's like, you know what? I'm going to celebrate it because it does mean that you are like in a different situation. You're in a different environment. And I don't think, it's kind of part of who I am. The gremlins, the inner critic, the saboteurs, whatever, whatever the body of work we want to call our voices. But the imposter voice can be a combination of anything. But when it triggers with me and as it does with many of my clients, it's when we're doing something new. It's when we're stepping out of our comfort circle. It's when we are in this growth mode because it wants to pull you back to be safe and to be in that kind of fixed environment. And so I'm like, thank you so much. I, gratitude, thank you so much, impostor. I've got it. And that has worked so well for me because it's like, it just becomes part of me and it's like, bang, you know? I'm okay to say thank you, dilute it and move on.
Laura Reid: [00:07:04] I love it. Yeah. I love the like just being grateful too, like, even being grateful for the things that you're fearing. Because sometimes they help point you in the direction that, you know, you need to go to work on something. But also, yeah, there's no really like overcoming, you know, because you look back at all the things you've already overcome and it's just kind of here right now enjoying this moment. Because what if you don't ever reach that goal, then, you know, you wouldn't have enjoyed right here and been grateful for it. And I think our imposter voices, all of the, you know, the challenges that we face sometimes it's like they build up that contrast in our life so we can appreciate too so much more when, you know, we're just having fun and we get to speak in front of people or something went wrong. It's like, oh, good, I get to like face this challenge and I think I know what to do, you know? So this is what I love about you, Paul. Like, I knew we just start right in like, deep, you know, like right there.
Paul Larsen: [00:08:04] Well, you know, it's kind of, I thank you for that too. And a lot of this has to do with you and I and the trust and just the fun we have. But I do believe in kind of just jumping into the pool and kind of figuring it out. Right? And so forth. Because we can. We have everything we need here. We do and the, our thoughts can sometimes, and our limiting beliefs and our saboteurs, our imposter voices, all those things can get in the way because it's like, well, wait a minute, you better not go do that, you better not, you better not, you better stay here. You better analyze this. You don't have your T's crossed or your I's dotted yet. But, but but, but... And then we don't end up, what? We don't end up doing it. We might have the best of intent, but we stay on Intention Island. We never get off because, you know, because we analyze it too much. We are, we let the beliefs come into play. So that's why I love you so much, because you and I have a very, very similar avatar around that in terms of just let's jump in and kind of figure it out and we can, and, you know, it's about mitigating that risk of whatever it is. I'm not going to go jump in front of a bus and try to figure that out, but I am going to be able to take risk, calculated risk in terms of situations like this, because that's what it, that's what life's about and that's how we grow.
Laura Reid: [00:09:23] Yeah, absolutely. And let's pitch that idea, new reality show. Intention Island. Like I love it.
Paul Larsen: [00:09:31] Well, I, you know, Laura's really great, but you know what? She kind of has to go now, and I, you know, she she just doesn't, she doesn't listen to me. It's like. It's like, but it's true because you create this, you know, how many times have you been with people, maybe team members, colleagues, relationships, family, friends, manager, and they say things, oh, well, you know, Paul, I'm going to do this. I want to do this for you. I don't want to do that for you, or da da da da. And then they don't and then they don't and then they don't. And they might have the best of intent. And they may even say that, oh, Paul, I had the best of intent to do that. I, you know, I intended to come to the party. I intended to promote you. I intended to whatever. But they didn't, because for whatever reason, something is keeping them on Intention Island about the relationship. And normally that also has to do with themselves. They, we can have the best of intent, we can have the best thoughts, but you've got to take action. That's, and that's why I jump into the pool. Because it's like I know for myself that's action for me. But if I go like this, and then look off that diving board, I just might say, you know what, I have to go use the lavatory right now. I'll be back. I just go, and that has worked for me. I'm not advocating that for everybody. But, you know, you and I, as coaches, when we work with each other and we work with ourselves and we work with our clients, we find what the best approach is.
Laura Reid: [00:11:07] Yeah, it's so true. And I find sometimes there's like, I call it a productive procrastination. Like, okay, before I do this big thing, like right now for me, I'm working on building out my first, like, big virtual course, right? But my imposter syndrome says, no, you need to pay other people first to watch their courses because there's, you know, a million courses on there on how to do it. But deep down, like, I know, I do know how to do it. And sometimes I think it's, and but it puts it off, puts it off. Oh I'm still learning. So I feel like I'm taking action. But in some ways it's really not. It's putting it off in a way that I can kind of justify to myself, but I think it's better sometimes to dive in and not be 100% prepared. Maybe you're 70, 80% prepared, you know, maybe you're going to make some mistakes, but at least you're doing it and taking action, right?
Paul Larsen: [00:12:00] Absolutely.
Laura Reid: [00:12:01] Or it never gets done. We have the best of intentions, and I'm just going to keep reading these books about it, but I'm not really doing it.
Paul Larsen: [00:12:08] Yeah, and Intention Island can be beautiful. The beach can be great. The lounge chairs.
Laura Reid: [00:12:13] There's a great library.
Paul Larsen: [00:12:14] Yeah, great library. The little drinks with the little umbrellas and the big fruit in there and all the little, you know, oh, it can be beautiful, but we're not going to grow there. We're not going to, we can nest there really easily because it's so comfortable. But it's just like another comfort circle, comfort zone, anything else. We're not necessarily going to grow unless we take, as you just said, unless we take that action. And so, you know, absolutely. I think it's just a matter of reframing as much as we can a little bit around that, you know, pivoting a little bit, finessing just a little bit or and sometimes the steps, when I say, like jumping off and going into the deep end, that sounds like a huge like, you know, step. But the steps can be small steps. They can be, as we would call them, baby steps. Because how do babies walk? Learn to walk? Little by little. They don't, they don't get out of their crib and start dancing and walking around. They they wobble, they fall, they wobble, they fall, they get up, they sit, they have support. And that's how we can kind of reframe ourselves by taking smaller steps and make them sustainable.
Laura Reid: [00:13:31] Yeah. And at least you're just, you're moving forward then in some way to get you there, you know, and everybody has their own unique way of doing it. Like my son, we were so worried about him when he was little. He went from crawling to, instead of walking, he decided it was really fun to just shuffle on his knees. So all his pants would get like these big holes in the knees, but he would get, he was so fast. He was like, I'm still getting to where I want. And so, you know, we took him to, like, a podiatrist. We got these special shoes that, like, squeaked when he walked, all this stupid stuff. And then one day, he just decided, you know, it was like, no, okay, I'm going to try it out. But it was on his own timeline. The doctor actually diagnosed him, I remember I still have it somewhere, like on the form, it was like, with stubbornness. Like nothing was wrong with his legs, he was just being, like, the doctor viewed him as just being stubborn. And I mean, that tracks with him and his personalities, where he, like, always been very set in his ways and determined to do things his own way, his own path, whether it's going to put holes in all my pants or not, it doesn't matter, you know, because I'm getting there. But I think it's just moving forward.
Paul Larsen: [00:14:40] Oh my word.
Laura Reid: [00:14:41] In your unique way.
Paul Larsen: [00:14:42] I love that story. I love that story because.
Laura Reid: [00:14:46] Hopefully my son won't hear this. He's going to be like, mom, don't talk about me on your podcast.
Paul Larsen: [00:14:50] But it's, you know, when people say like a stubbornness and a doctor can diagnose that or somebody else or professional. But another way of thinking about it is he's persevering in his own way. And that's the beauty of that, because it's so funny when you said that I used to, I don't know what they used to call it, but you used to walk, I used to kind of walk in, pigeon toed.
Laura Reid: [00:15:12] Yeah.
Paul Larsen: [00:15:13] Okay, I okay, like I really--.
Laura Reid: [00:15:15] -- That was like a thing.
Paul Larsen: [00:15:17] And so I had to put these like plastic things in the shoes and I'll never, and I go in and went to this podiatrist and he would sit on the other side of the office and then watch me walk, right? And to see if I got, you know, it was like, and I would, of course, and at that time I wanted to do the right thing. So it was like I'd try to walk, you know, whatever this was and, you know, and he'd be looking down like, I'm like, what is this? And sure enough, I remember then going to, my mother took me to another medical professional podiatrist later on and he says, ah, he goes, Paul's just, he goes, he'll do it. He goes, all you got to do is kind of do these kind of exercises, and it has to do with you. And sure enough, sure enough, I took it, took out those little plastic things, and so forth. And, you know, that was just two different opinions. But it's funny how we can get conditioned, you know, in terms of how that's going to affect how we are, because, you know, to your point, for the longest time I thought I walked wrong, you know, or I thought I walked, you know... But yet I got to where I was going. And it wasn't like people were looking and say, oh, he's walking like a pigeon. It's like, no, it's like, but it was really funny how we, and all of that happens when we're younger, right? And it can get conditioned that way. So, you know, your son's knee walk and my pigeon walk, they're just, yeah, a little shuffle, they're just dances. I just look at them as like, they're just dances. We just, we just are, we're finding how we're going to dance with life.
Laura Reid: [00:16:46] Nothing's wrong with us because we're doing something differently, you know. But we do, we get conditioned so young.
Paul Larsen: [00:16:53] Right. And so it just, it just, that's why I love that story because it is so true. But it still happens today. We can use that analogy walking on our knees, or walking pigeon toed, or looking for things that are going to help us walk straight or walk the right way, as these little inserts were supposed to do in my feet, in my shoes. But we still do that today. We look for different ways to cobble ourselves together, instead of just... And then what happens I think, what I was doing with those little plastic things, I was faking it. So I was kind of faking it till I could make it. And I don't know, if that works for people, great. I like to face it till you make it.
Laura Reid: [00:17:34] Yeah.
Paul Larsen: [00:17:34] You just face it.
Laura Reid: [00:17:35] You have to face it.
Paul Larsen: [00:17:36] And that's what the second professional told me, you know, basically he's like, take these things out of here. Take the little plastic things out of here, and he goes, just he gave me some exercises to do with my feet, with my, you know, and the soles of my feet and everything. And he goes, face it. Just like, figure it out. Don't let those little, those plastic insoles tell you how to walk and then become enabled with those. Right? And sure enough, that was it. And for that, that worked. And you know, as I'm saying this to you now, I didn't realize the lesson that there was in that. So thank you for that because it just came up as you were talking about your son and everything.
Laura Reid: [00:18:18] Awesome. I'm glad you had that breakthrough.
Paul Larsen: [00:18:20] Yeah. It was like, hello? It's like, it's so funny how we just get conditioned and we can rely on, oh, limiting beliefs, excuses and so forth. And then, you know, what if I kept those plastic things in now, what, six decades later, I've got these plastic, you know, what am I doing with that? It's like. And I'm not saying that things don't work that way, by the way. You know, they certainly can. But in that regard, I listened and my mother, my mother, you know, bless her heart was very open to listening and receiving other advice, other guidance, other pieces. And then she saw, she says, she saw how I was like, yes, I don't have to wear these things, and I'm going to do something on my own to, because everything I had was within here, as you and I just said. And the doctor's like, yeah, you don't need those. He goes, let's figure this out. You've got everything right here. Right? All you got to do is kind of like pivot it a little bit, finesse it a little bit, exercise a little bit differently. You'll be fine.
Laura Reid: [00:19:21] Love it.
Paul Larsen: [00:19:21] So we can walk any way we want.
Laura Reid: [00:19:23] You know we can walk any damn way we want. Right. Well, you know, a part of the show that I really love, I call it the Killer 13. And this is just 13 rapid fire random questions coming your way. I did not, listeners, give Paul these questions beforehand, and this is a way to kind of get to know you even more in kind of a quirky way before we dive in a little deeper with some of your stories. Are you ready to play the Killer 13?
Paul Larsen: [00:19:49] I'm ready to play the Killer 13.
Laura Reid: [00:19:52] Yeah. So, like I said, these are light, just rapid fire. So the first one, I'm giving you a softball here. Number one. Paul, what's the meaning of life?
Paul Larsen: [00:20:03] To live life to its fullest.
Laura Reid: [00:20:06] I knew you'd have it right away. I love it. Number two, how do you like your burger?
Paul Larsen: [00:20:12] Well done.
Laura Reid: [00:20:14] Well done with what on it?
Paul Larsen: [00:20:15] Oh, I like everything on it. So it's funny when you say that, I know this is supposed to be a short answer, but I love, because usually it's being prepared by somebody else sometimes. Right? And I love them. I say put everything on it. And I love to see what they do to help me create whatever it is I'm going to eat. But I like it well done so that the meat is like, well done. But I love, I love everything on it. And then if I'm doing it, if I'm preparing that part of it, I put everything on it. And I just see, because everything could be anything in that environment or wherever you are. And I love to see the taste that comes out of that and so forth. So that, yeah, everything.
Laura Reid: [00:20:53] I love it, it could be chili and an egg and hot pepper. You just don't know what you're getting.
Paul Larsen: [00:20:57] I mean, you just, you know, it's like, you know, as you and I travel and it's like people say, well, what do you want on it? It's like, just put everything on it. I'm not going to sit here and pick and choose. Put everything on it and I'll see how it tastes.
Laura Reid: [00:21:07] I love it. All right. Number three. So if I have this right your Masters is in Organizational Development? What's one tip to listeners to help them be more organized?
Paul Larsen: [00:21:20] You know, listen to yourself. I have found for people to be more organized, to be more synchronized, to be more aligned - again, it goes back - we know what we need to do on that. We can get people to come in and organize our closets. We can get people to come in and organize our lives and all that stuff. And it's wonderful. I, don't get me wrong, those people are professionals. But to organize who we are and to organize it starts up here. So normally if we need organization in our life, we have to first organize our thoughts. We have to first organize what we want and what that purpose is and outcome. So start with yourself, listen to yourself and begin to organize your thoughts around what you want.
Laura Reid: [00:22:03] Wow, that hit me so hard. That is so good. I love that so much because I'm always thinking about things I want organized. But then why? Like, why do I want my office organized? You know, like why? I mean, part of it is just seeking control in my life over things that feel chaotic, like my bookkeeping or things like that. Right? I mean, it's tax day, by the way, and like, I'm yeah, I'm going to file late. So it's like, but like why. Right? So it's, yeah I love that. That's so good. All right, number four. What's the weirdest thing, I know you've traveled a lot, what's the weirdest thing you've ever eaten?
Paul Larsen: [00:22:39] You know, that's a great question, I love that. We were on the street in Istanbul, and we were hungry. My, Steve and I, my partner and I, and we were just really hungry. And there was a guy with a barbecue out there, you know, and he was grilling up stuff, you know, and people were stopping, smelled great. It was on this big French roll. And I said, I don't know what it was because it was in Turkish, the language. And we weren't going to do Google Translate. And it's like, let's just eat it. We got it, it was absolutely delicious. And so forth. We found out later, you know, we found out next that it was tripe. Right? So it was the intestines. And people have that, that's like, that's not you know, I don't want to say that's weird or something because it's, but for us it was like different. And it's a great lesson because if I had known what it was beforehand, I wouldn't have eaten it because my belief system would have kicked in and all that, and it was delicious. So I'm just saying it's sort of like we just dove into that. It's like, again, going into that pool sometimes and trusting yourself. And so it was probably one of the most different things I've eaten. I don't like to say weird because it's not weird to other people who have that in their diet every day.
Laura Reid: [00:23:55] Absolutely, I love that. I mean, it could go wrong if your always, like, default is let's just eat it. But I'm glad it worked out well.
Paul Larsen: [00:24:04] Well, you know, and here's the thing. You know, as we travel, I see things on, you know, people are selling stuff on the street to eat and so forth. And, you know, it could be like a, you know, the insects and there's different kinds of things that are very, very popular, supposedly. I probably would not because that just for myself, that stops me, you know. And I know that a lot of people it's like absolutely great. But for that, it was very easy for me to go in and do that and enjoy it. And it helped. It helped kind of, what do I want to say, check my assumptions on that. It was like, see Paul, you know, you just have to sometimes just do what you, you know, just go in and trust. Because we trust, it was like, it smelled good, people were eating. It's like, let's go for it.
Laura Reid: [00:24:48] Yeah, it's a good lesson. I love that. What's your ultimate hype song, gets you dancing?
Paul Larsen: [00:24:59] There is a disco song that was by an artist named Kelly Marie. I think she's British. And it was kind of out in the late 70s, early 80s, when disco was at its height. And it it's like, feels like I'm in love and it's a kind of a longer song, it's one of those long 12 inch records, you know, they used to play the albums and it is a wonderful song and my friends would always know when the DJ, when we'd go clubbing and you could hear the you know, how the DJs all spin and they, and when that song was like in the distance because it was upcoming, they would run and get me wherever, because I was always, you know, somewhere around because they knew I would want to dance to that and have fun. And to this day, besides some of the Partridge Family's hits and so forth, it's on my playlist.
Laura Reid: [00:25:51] I love it. Oh, I'd love to see your playlist. Partridge Family I Think I Love You, I used to love that song. I'm going to look up the other.
Paul Larsen: [00:25:58] I Think I Love You was was definitely, you know, one of their hits, but they had some other, you know, other songs.
Laura Reid: [00:26:04] Yeah, they were good. I love it. All right. Okay. You can only watch one movie for the rest of your life. What is it?
Paul Larsen: [00:26:11] The Favorite.
Laura Reid: [00:26:12] Really?
Paul Larsen: [00:26:13] Yeah. The Favorite with, um, oh, gosh, now she's just, the name escaped me.
Laura Reid: [00:26:18] Emma Stone?
Paul Larsen: [00:26:19] No.
Laura Reid: [00:26:20] No, um.
Paul Larsen: [00:26:20] She won Best Actress for it. She was Queen. Queen Anne.
Laura Reid: [00:26:26] Oh, yeah.
Paul Larsen: [00:26:26] Remember, it was a few years ago. Oh, my gosh, I can't think of her name. I can't think.
Laura Reid: [00:26:30] You love that.
Paul Larsen: [00:26:31] So The Favorite was, I don't know why that movie just sort of, you know, I don't usually, you know, it's a period piece and, but it captures so many different elements of human behavior, of the elitism of royalty, but also of mental instability, of mental illness because she was, the Queen was that. And the way they told the story and the way they told the story through the eyes of these two people who were very close to the Queen, these two, these two ladies. Brilliant. Just brilliant. But I'm so sorry. I can't think of her name. She's a brilliant British actress now. You know.
Laura Reid: [00:27:16] It's all coming back to me, that movie now, I'm remembering. But I can't think of who it was.
Paul Larsen: [00:27:21] I think it won, I believe it, she won Best Actress, and I believe it won Best Movie. Or came close, it was nominated at least a few years ago.
Laura Reid: [00:27:29] Awesome.
Paul Larsen: [00:27:29] Now I watch it, to your point, I watch it all the time, so whenever I see it, I will. I will watch it.
Laura Reid: [00:27:35] Yeah. Isn't it funny how some movies come on and you just, like I'm like that with The Wizard of Oz. Like I can't not watch that.
Paul Larsen: [00:27:40] Like, Wizard of Oz or something or...
Laura Reid: [00:27:42] Like, I'm going to watch The Notebook. I'm going to watch.
Paul Larsen: [00:27:45] Yeah.
Laura Reid: [00:27:45] Like there's some, like, there's just some movies.
Paul Larsen: [00:27:47] Another one I love, though. I know this is one answer, but since you just mentioned. One's modern. And then I did find All About Eve with Bette Davis and Anne Baxter, and there's a whole team of people in that, but All About Eve--
Laura Reid: [00:28:03] -- classic.
Paul Larsen: [00:28:03] And classics and about the deception and how people will come in, you know, it's the true movie of, it takes place on Broadway, right in New York. And Bette Davis is the star. But what an understudy, why the understudies are not necessarily trusted. You know, I was like, it's beautiful. It's a beautiful movie. I watched it for the first time just a couple of years ago and, to your point, whenever it's on, I'm there because it's so well done. So well done. But again, human dynamics, human behavior, what we and what we can do to each other and in, you know, in the space of a very short time. And it's yeah, she was at her like, she was just, she was immaculate in that movie.
Laura Reid: [00:28:50] Oh, wow. All right. What's something you used to believe as a kid and now just makes you laugh?
Paul Larsen: [00:28:57] Um, I used to believe that when we watched this, and this isn't, like, any big shakes or anything, but when we watched the news, because I grew up in, born in the 60s, but really kind of grew up in the 70s, and so we'd watch the evening news, that it was the news of everywhere. That I was getting the news of everywhere. So when, I grew up in the San Francisco Bay area in California, so we'd watch the, you know, we'd watch the 6:00 news. And I just believed when I was watching the news that I was getting the news from Seattle and Denver and New York and Atlanta and Miami, that, you know, everything that was going on was on that 22 minutes of local news. It was crazy. And I couldn't, I didn't understand how that wasn't the case. It was like, what? It's only this part and it's, you know, so that we weren't getting everything. So that was, you know, somehow I, you know, it's not like huge, earth-shattering, but it was so funny to think that my mind was very myopic and very narrow.
Laura Reid: [00:29:54] The whole world. This is what's happening right now.
Paul Larsen: [00:29:57] But you know what? But you know what? As I say this to you, think about that nowadays. Think about what people believe nowadays. Right? And what we're dealing with, you know, quote unquote, without getting into too much detail around that, but what people believe nowadays is kind of what they are just reading or seeing or streaming, and that's their world and that's their beliefs. And I started that back in the 70s. I was a trendsetter, but I broke away from that. I recognized like, oh, okay, that's not everything. And maybe I shouldn't believe everything that comes out on that, you know, because it's filtered and it's nuanced.
Laura Reid: [00:30:37] Yeah, it's just perception of where you are.
Paul Larsen: [00:30:39] Yeah, it's perception. It's perception of, it's also a perception of what that media, particular media wants to feed you.
Laura Reid: [00:30:47] It's so interesting.
Paul Larsen: [00:30:48] It's interesting you brought that up because it was like I just thought because we're kind of still there.
Laura Reid: [00:30:52] Yeah.
Paul Larsen: [00:30:53] Even though we have everything available to us.
Laura Reid: [00:30:55] All the information in the entire universe is kind of at our fingertips. And yet.
Paul Larsen: [00:30:59] And yet.
Laura Reid: [00:31:00] In some ways it hasn't changed.
Paul Larsen: [00:31:01] Well, you know, and I think--
Laura Reid: [00:31:02] -- still in our bubble.
Paul Larsen: [00:31:03] Yeah, it might have to do with safety and it might have to do with security, and it might have to do with fear. Right. For me, it was just, you know, I was, you know, just a little kid, like, trying to, like, you know, figure stuff out. But nowadays, I think it might have, you know, I don't want to have to know everything. I just want to know what that's going to be, because I that's all I can handle. Or I don't want to be intimidated.
Laura Reid: [00:31:27] Yeah. Sometimes you have to set those boundaries. I mean, you know, I worked in Washington for a long time, so I was kind of like a news junkie. And I'm fascinated by politics. And now it's like, I still have a fascination with it, but I really have to be careful. I don't get myself, like I'm all of a sudden, two hours have gone by and I've watched all these, you know, all these shows and what's going on, and I just feel sick to my stomach or something. It's like, it's not good for me also. But I do like to just be informed. But then again, yeah, there's your information is just what you're choosing it to be, you know, and there's so much out there. So it's it's hard. So Paul and I were talking about introversion, we're both introverts, like before I hit the record button because he just got, you just got back from, you know, a big event, and speaking and all of that and how that can, like, the impact it can have as an introvert. So this question is kind of a nod to that. You have to attend an event of 500 people where you're the only introvert. So what's your advice?
Paul Larsen: [00:32:29] So first of all, recognize that. So even, you know, your question was staged very well. But even as you read the question like that, where you are the only introvert, that could come across like, oh my gosh, what am I going to do? Oh my gosh. You know. And it can, it can be, we can react to that as an introvert especially. So you want to respond appropriately. It's the difference between reacting and responding. Reacting is just allowing our emotions to take over, and posture to take over, our critics to take over, our fixed mindset to take over and keep us safe. So we might not want, then we might end up doing things we don't want to do. But to respond appropriately, say, okay, I'm going to a 500 person event. I'm going to be the only introvert. Gosh, that gives me an opportunity to be very distinctive. To bring a different kind of brand to this whole event, to potentially educate myself and others on what it means to be that. I'm an introvert, yet you see me here doing, talking like this, and people say, oh, are you really an introvert? It's like it has nothing to do with my style. It has nothing to do with how I speak. It has nothing to do with the fact that I love to speak in front of groups of 50, 500 or whatever.
Paul Larsen: [00:33:49] It has everything to do with my energy. So that goes into the second piece, to understand and recognize, okay, I'm going to be an introvert. I may be the only one there. I'm going to have to set the boundaries for myself in terms of my energy. How am I going to nourish myself? How am I going to create? Because responding is creating. So how am I going to create that environment where I'm going to be successful because I'm going to be speaking to 500 people. I am there to serve them. I am there to provide for them. I am there to inspire them. I am there to educate. So how am I going to do that with making sure that I am replenished from an energetic standpoint? So normally what I do on something like that, Laura, I don't just go in and just, you know, ping around like the old pong game, right? You know, and get kind of moving back and forth between different events or sessions and so forth and before you know it, I'm exhausted by like 12 noon, right? No, I go in and I'm very deliberate when I look at like the calendar of events, the timing of everything.
Paul Larsen: [00:35:01] Where am I? Because the other piece I want to do, even as an introvert, I want to meet as many people as I can. I want to go into the audience, and I just want to, you know, and I'm not going to go into the audience with these huge groups. I'm going to go in and meet people like maybe with, you know, 3 or 4 when I see them standing, or maybe on a session break, or maybe on the lunch break and just begin to talk to them and listen. I'm not there to speak and perform. I'm there to listen because that will help me understand the vibe, the energy of the group, so that when it's my turn to speak, no matter if I'm the first, the middle or the last, the group knows me. The group is familiar with me and I'm familiar with them. Now I'm, obviously I'm not going to meet all 500 probably, but I will be very deliberate in how I create that environment, because I know as an introvert, I could get fatigued, I could get tired, I could get burned out very easily. And that's all about me. And I'm there to be all about them. So I have to take care of myself with that.
Laura Reid: [00:36:17] That's golden. That helps me so much, too. And I'm going into a big networking event or something, and I'm just feeling a little uncomfortable in whatever it is. But if I kind of change my mindset that, you know what? I don't have to react to this situation. I don't have to talk if I don't want to. I can ask questions. I can be the listener. I can be the best listener in that room. And then I'm like, off the hook. And I love hearing people's stories. And I love kind of, you know, getting to know people's different personalities. I find it all fascinating. So then suddenly I'm like, looking forward to it. It's like, cool. I can just be me and, you know, it's okay. And then just protecting that around me.
Paul Larsen: [00:36:55] When I, when to your point, you know, we've all been in networking situations, you know, when I've lost jobs and changing jobs. Oh, you got to go network, you got to go network, get out there and network. Nothing sounds more nauseating to me than like, oh my God, get your spreadsheet, get all the people, you got to go meet everyone. Like, oh my God, can I throw up now, please? But here's what I would do. I would, you know, and I knew that's part of it, right? It is connections. It is relationships. It is all of that. But I would just say, okay, I am going to go to that particular event, that dinner, that whatever it is, I'm going to meet two people. That's it. I'm just going to have a goal of two people, maybe three people, maybe four, maybe one. But I would have a goal, a response that way. And then I would feel really good. And to your point, I love, love, love, love, love what you said about listening because people will remember you. Oh my gosh, she listened to me. She didn't, she wasn't listening to reply. Right? 0h, yeah, yeah, I'm hearing you. Oh, yeah, I got something too, I got, I got to talk too. You were listening to understand somebody. You were listening about all about their story. What you said. And they will remember that. So I love that because so many people in today's world, we're in this white noise chaos of digital and social tech, which is fine. I'm I'm on all the platforms. I have fun with it. But it can be very noisy and it can be noise that doesn't really always matter or noise that won't move us ahead. I want to filter that noise into the bells and whistles for myself. That will then ring and help move me forward in a very deliberate way while serving others.
Laura Reid: [00:38:56] So good. I'm so glad this is all being recorded for... So many good gems here. Thank you so much! And this is all just supposed to be like silly stuff. And we're like, going deep and I love it so much. All right. What's one book that you wish everyone would read?
Paul Larsen: [00:39:12] Love Your Life by Louise Hay. How To Love Your Life. How To Love Your Life by Louise Hay. So I paused there for a moment because there were two books there. You know, one, Wayne Dyer has, you know, I'm a Wayne Dyer/Louise Hay kind of fan, so to speak. And I came in late to them. I, you know, they both passed, I believe, transitioned in 2016. And I didn't start really kind of reading and really becoming aware of them until after that. And that doesn't necessarily matter because their work is still so alive and vibrant. But Louise Hay, her story, when you talk about story, her just her life story and then what she's done in 50s and 60s, she started Hay House, the publishing company, when she was, you know, 50 or 60, all of that, but all her what she had before that and how she kind of just came into this loving yourself, loving your life, and how to really, really, really do that in a way that replenishes and affirms who you are. One thing she says, one thing she, I always take away from, is everything you say to yourself is an affirmation. So what are you affirming? Because we seem to think, oh, affirmations are I love myself. I'm, you know, it's wonderful.
Laura Reid: [00:40:38] Oh, I love that.
Paul Larsen: [00:40:39] No. Everything we say to ourselves...
Laura Reid: [00:40:41] So good.
Paul Larsen: [00:40:42] ... is an affirmation. So you've got to really be aware of that talk of what we are saying to ourselves and the thoughts that come out of that, because it's up to us. So yeah. Love Your life, by Louise Hay. And yeah, I just think it's right up, it's who you are. It's everything about who you are. And so forth.
Laura Reid: [00:41:03] All right. We're nearing the end here. This is so good. What's a favorite? What's your favorite country that you've visited that you just or you love to go back to?
Paul Larsen: [00:41:12] Well, that's a great you know, that's a hard question actually. That's a really good question because people ask me like, what's your favorite country? And my answer is always the one that I'm in. The one that I'm in. Right? Because I'm there for a reason and I'm living there, working there, whatever it is. But I, you know, I really, really, a country to me is the culture. And it's the beauty of the people and what they represent and how they build community. So it's really, you know, I can't just speak to one because when I say one, there's all these others too. So it really is the one that I'm in because I love to go anywhere.
Laura Reid: [00:42:03] I love that answer so much. Well, what's your favorite piece of, or your must-have piece of travel gear?
Paul Larsen: [00:42:10] Oh, must-have piece of travel gear. What is it that I walk around with? I guess you, you know, it's very simple. It's just the old ear plugs. Yeah, your earbuds.
Laura Reid: [00:42:27] And when you don't want to talk to the person next to you on the flight, it's...
Paul Larsen: [00:42:32] You know, and I will, yeah. And, you know...
Laura Reid: [00:42:34] Sometimes I do, but...
Paul Larsen: [00:42:35] Yeah, to your point, I will always acknowledge the person because I think as humans to humans, we can acknowledge.
Laura Reid: [00:42:41] Yeah of course.
Paul Larsen: [00:42:42] And then I won't necessarily, you know, have to go further than that. And they may not either. Sometimes if they do, it's wonderful. And we can have a wonderful conversation. And then sometimes, you know, these can play a role. But I love these because these represent also our ability to learn, our ability to listen. I think one of the, you know, one of the, people say, well, what's the one of the best inventions that you know, I don't know if that's a question you have, but what's one of the best inventions that you utilize? And of course, you know, one could say, oh, wow, my gosh, look at the smartphone. Look at what that does.
Laura Reid: [00:43:14] Yeah.
Paul Larsen: [00:43:14] But to me it's that online, it's the reader. It's the e-reader of whatever your brand you might have.
Laura Reid: [00:43:23] Yeah.
Paul Larsen: [00:43:24] And yes, that can be on a smartphone. I understand all that. But thinking about when I used to travel and we used to take these books with us, right? It's like, okay, how many books can I fit in here? It's like, oh my gosh, they're hardback. And you had to really kind of choose, am I going to read that? Am I going to read that one? And I know people still do that because they love books. They love the, yeah, but to me, to be able to pick up just like any kind of e-reader that's like this, and in here to have the whole world, and I can choose whatever I want to listen to or read, and it will nourish me. It might provoke me. It might give me, there have been so many times, Laura, where I've been traveling to an event, a conference, and I've read something that just changed everything that I was going to say, because I was like, and so that, there's no accidents in life. That meant I was supposed to read that in that moment, or listen to it in that moment, or watch it in that moment, and it brought a whole new worldview to me that I was able to bring to that stage, to that audience, to that, whether it's five people, ten people, hundreds of people or thousands. It's like, wow. And it's, so to me, it's sort of that, it's anything I can do that will nourish in that listening mode, in that speaking mode, and in that reading mode.
Laura Reid: [00:44:48] Yeah. It's so powerful what we have access to. And yeah, it is just beautiful.
Paul Larsen: [00:44:53] I never lose gratitude for that because I know we can overlook so much today. And we're like, we take things for granted. And it's like, and I get, I'm the same way. But I look at that and I'm like, I have every book at my disposal if this was an e-reader, in here. And I get to pick what I get, if I just, I read one page. Sometimes I do my one page or one minute I just go, I randomly go into a book and I just pick one page one minute and read it, and take something from that. And it can be anywhere in the book that I haven't read yet. It could be maybe a book that I've already read. And just to see like, okay, what's that about? Do I go further in that? Do I bring that in to to what I'm doing? I just have a lot of fun. There's that curiosity piece that it satisfies for me.
Laura Reid: [00:45:43] I love it. All right. What's one daily tiny habit that just makes a huge difference in your life?
Paul Larsen: [00:45:50] Yeah. So I practice each morning the three C's, and I just kind of touched on one right there. How creative am I going to be today? And what's that going to look like? How curious am I going to be today? And what is that going to look like? And how courageous am I going to be today? And what's that going to look like? And I answer those questions very, very simply. And I answer them in a way that, you know, just, you know, again, creativity, curiosity and courageousness, they all go together. It's the trifecta of C's, I call it. Because for me, that's what brings life, like behind me here in this vibrant, beautiful art piece by this artist. That's what brings a color into my life, the vibrancy into my life, the energy into my life. You know, it's everything. It's that curiosity. When we stop asking our, we stop asking why, or we stop being curious about ourselves and others, or we stop being creative about how to do something differently or, gosh, I never thought about it that way, that's incredible. And we've stopped being courageous or having that courage. You know, one of my clients just said to me, I don't think I have the courage to live the life I want. I was like, whoa. You know? And I just said, well, hold on a minute. It was like, first of all, congratulations on acknowledging a limiting belief because that's what that is. Congratulations on bringing that out. And then we talk about like we all have courage. We all have it. It's a matter of how we want to develop it and reveal it. It's like having a bus. We all have the muscles that make up our body, that make up the frame of our body. Well, courage is just another muscle that we've got. How do we develop it and so forth. So it's always something at the forefront for me, those three CS.
Laura Reid: [00:47:40] Do you kind of journal on that, like right when you wake up or it's just giving you like a little thought about the day, how you're approaching it?
Paul Larsen: [00:47:47] Yeah. You know, I love that question because I don't, you know, I'm not a big journaler. You know, I, you know, and people, you know, because it becomes a have to do. You gotta journal. You gotta, you got it...
Laura Reid: [00:48:00] Be grateful for three things.
Paul Larsen: [00:48:03] Write five pages, you know. Write. And I know that you don't have to do that, I know that. And that's my old, that's my judge speaking right now. But I allow myself, whatever the freedom is around my three C's, to do whatever it wants, to have those, to manifest those any way. Sometimes I do write them out, sometimes I doodle them out, and sometimes they just come up here and it doesn't go anywhere else and it doesn't matter, I just love it all. I just take a, it's just a few moments to do that, and then I move on with my day. Sometimes I move on to something else that might, you know, in terms of grounding and centering, but I allow myself that three C's, that trifecta of C's every morning to just allow me to think. Okay, because I know my curiosity, my creativity and my courage is what has propelled me into meeting you and being here with you today. So I want to continue that and make sure that that continues.
Laura Reid: [00:49:01] It's so brilliant. What a gift for our audience. I think those three, you know, those three words are so powerful in their meaning and approaching our days. And they're interconnected to me too, because I find when I want to be more courageous about something that scares me a little to do, if I approach it with curiosity, like, I wonder how this is going to go today? Like maybe it's going to be a total screw up, maybe it's, but then I'll learn, maybe I'm just going to kill it. Like who knows? But then it's like that childhood sense of wonder, right? And kind of a fun cause and effect sort of feeling, like, yeah, and then I can do it.
Paul Larsen: [00:49:37] Children have, to your point, children have such a wonderful way of that sense of wonder, that sense of asking why, why, why, and and then going out and trying stuff. And then as we get normed into adulthood, it's like, no, you better not do that. No, no, no, don't don't go there. No. And you know, and then we get told, like behavior, like gender-wise, men don't cry. Men don't do that. Oh my gosh. Women do this. Women. It's like. And you know, maybe that's changed a little bit now of course. But still, there are behavioral norms. But children, that's why curiosity and creativity and and courageousness, that's what children are. And they...
Laura Reid: [00:50:18] We can learn so much.
Paul Larsen: [00:50:18] Yeah. And I want to keep that kind of child-like, you know.
Laura Reid: [00:50:23] That wonderment.
Paul Larsen: [00:50:23] That wonderment that I had when I watched The Partridge Family every Friday at 8:30 p.m.. But that wonderment of like, how did they get together and sing like that in such a short period of time? You know, like but more importantly, how do I exude my own creativity, my own courageousness and my own curiosity? And how do I help others do that? Because I do that as a coach. But I've got to do it myself.
Laura Reid: [00:50:47] You do that. It's so powerful. Well, you know, I was thinking about when you were talking about your own imposter syndrome earlier when I was reading your intro. And how, you know, they say that oftentimes what we're leaning towards sharing with others, teaching others is our lessons, like we're still working on deep within ourselves too. And you know, I find that does play out often, especially with creative people. I think the things that we're just drawn to, it's like, yeah, we're still working on it. You know, there's no just there, okay, I broke through. I overcame. You know, it's like a process, right?
Paul Larsen: [00:51:22] No, I, it goes by, you know, in coaching, we like to say that the transformation doesn't occur when you get there, the transformation occurs in the journey. And the journey can be, can be, you know, there doesn't have to be a timeline to it, quote unquote. It's more important that we are deliberate with the steps that we take, going back to what we talked about. But you're absolutely right, it's about what how do we help ourselves to help others? And so, you know, one of the things I, you know, I got sober like 34 years ago, you know, and don't ask me, you know, like how that happened in the sense of like, wow, you know, I could barely, like, probably pick myself up off the floor then, but I recognized something. I, there was a voice within me that said, if you don't stop this, Paul, you are not going to be able to have the life you want, even though at whatever I think age, I was 29 at that time, I did not quite know the life that I wanted, but I was receptive enough and aware enough to know it was not what I was living in that moment.
Paul Larsen: [00:52:47] So we have things that occur in our lives sometimes, and it goes back to kind of what you've been saying to just listen to ourselves, you know, and that ability to just kind of sit and like, oh, that's right. And that's what happened to me. Some people have like cataclysmic and really tragic events that really break them open. My broke, my breakage around that was just different. It wasn't so dramatic, but it was a breakage within myself that said, you can't go on like this because it's just not going to work. It's not, you know, who knows what's going to happen, but you can't go on like that. I was broken open that way. But more importantly, I responded to it and I listened to it, to your point. And that's the beauty of, to think that I did that at 29 when it was like, hello? But I did. So we all can have these coming of age moments at any point in our life.
Laura Reid: [00:53:50] It's never too late.
Paul Larsen: [00:53:51] Never.
Laura Reid: [00:53:51] To have that. Sometimes, or early, yeah. And sometimes it's just the sense of urgency deep within you finally comes out and you listen. And for whatever reason, you're, you can receive it, right? Because it was probably speaking before then, but you weren't, you know, you couldn't receive it yet--
Paul Larsen: [00:54:09] It was speaking before--
Laura Reid: [00:54:09] -- and then finally you can.
Paul Larsen: [00:54:10] -- absolutely. And it was speaking also, you know, to your point, it was speaking through other people as well. But I wasn't like, oh, don't worry about it. You know, I've got it handled. I've got...
Laura Reid: [00:54:21] I'm fine.
Paul Larsen: [00:54:22] I'm fine. The controller in me has got, I've got everything in control and I did, I had a good job, I had, I was like, look, look, look, I've got, you know, but yeah... It was one of those things where the facade was out here with a beautiful, you know, I had a good life and a good job and everything else, but inside I was, you want to know that, I was faking it till I made it, and I wasn't going to make it. So what my voice was saying, oh, thank you for this, Laura, my God, I just, it just hit me, I was facing it. I had to face it. And in that moment, I did. In that moment, I just said, yep, I've got to do this and I'm going to need some help with that, which I did get help and everything, but I had to do that.
Laura Reid: [00:55:10] Yes, I relate to that a lot in a different way. Not with that kind of addiction, but with my own fears of public speaking, ironically now, but you know what I find about faking it, because I did that for a long time, trying to kind of hide this anxiety I had, is that it gets exhausting. Like it's exhausting physically, mentally, every day, showing up, being someone you're not really, and not facing that truth.
Paul Larsen: [00:55:36] Well, you know, you know, to that point, think about to what you just said was a gem. Think about perhaps an individual or somebody who we may not be aligned with or we're, there's not a nourishment going back and forth, but we fake it with them. Right? And we continually do that. Well, we're not being true to them. We're certainly not being true to ourselves. Instead of just saying, you know what, I'm just not that into you, to borrow the old adage or whatever. So it's sort of like...
Laura Reid: [00:56:09] Yeah.
Paul Larsen: [00:56:09] You know, to even relationships, you know, we need to face it. Now, you know, and...
Laura Reid: [00:56:16] It's exhausting.
Paul Larsen: [00:56:17] It is. And sometimes we do fake it, you know, we just fake it to get through the evening, to get through that. It's like okay, and, but to be deliberate with that, to be aware of that, to make sure that you are making that choice, it's not just on autopilot, that you are making that choice.
Laura Reid: [00:56:30] Yeah, you're not doing it just from like a people pleasing standpoint, because then you're just kind of sacrificing something within you, you know, and showing up as who you are. And, yeah, and it takes a toll.
Paul Larsen: [00:56:41] And then we get resentful and discouraged and we become, yeah, we become a victim and blah, blah, blah. And it's like...
Laura Reid: [00:56:46] Yeah, it's a downward spiral of hell there. So. Well, we're on to our last question. We've covered so much, I didn't expect it to all go so deep, and I'm so glad it did. It's such a gift. You're such a gift. You know, what we've covered. I love the three C's. That's so powerful. What we touched on in imposter syndrome and introversion. And, you know, it's just so, so brilliant. But this is The Public Speaking Horror Show, so I'm going to frame my last question, because I know you got a story in there, can you share with us a story. What was the story that you have, an experience speaking, where it just went a bit sideways. It wasn't what you expected. And how did you respond? Because I know you're a responder, not a reactor. But maybe everyone else around you sometimes can react, right? So tell us about an experience like that and how you handled it before we wrap.
Paul Larsen: [00:57:39] Sure. Yeah. No, that's a beautiful, beautiful question because so much can happen with, in learnings, right, from that. That one that went sideways. Well, I had one that was like The Poseidon Adventure where it, like, flipped upside down, right?
Laura Reid: [00:57:52] Oh, no.
Paul Larsen: [00:57:52] I'm dating myself there with that movie, and...
Laura Reid: [00:57:55] Oh, I knew right away.
Paul Larsen: [00:57:57] Oh yeah, look it up, folks, if you've never heard of that movie. Shelley Winters, yes. So, yeah, I was on a great, so so funny, I was on a speaking tour with a bunch of other speakers, beautiful speakers, wonderful speakers, very credible speakers. And we were on a Southeast Asia kind of speaking tour, Singapore, Malaysia, Kuala Lumpur, Bangkok. And this one we happened to, we went for about a week in Myanmar, and this was a few years ago. So it was before Myanmar has had unfortunately, the coup and now the tragic what they've had, so so we were in Myanmar and we were in Mandalay, which was actually beautiful, very vibrant city. And so they had the, our folks that were part of the tour kind of advisors and coordinators had arranged it that we were going to be speaking at this big event in Mandalay at this huge like fairgrounds park, right? They have this huge amphitheater. And there's going to be like, you know, it was like kind of this big event and we were going to be speaking, and Paul was going to be speaking, my part was going to come up and be speaking on sort of what my book is.
Paul Larsen: [00:59:05] Find your voice as a leader. Right? So, you know, it's going to be like a, you know, about 25 minutes of that. And we had asked like, okay, we've done all the speaking due diligence, right, like how many people, what's the demographic, and we were getting some answers that were kind of vague and so forth, only because it was just this huge kind of, you know, it was kind of this big event that was combined with some other events and we're like, okay. And some of the speakers were like, well, you know, okay, what is it, what's going to go on? And I was like, okay, we're just going to walk into it and see what it is. So we get to this, we get to this like the event space, which is again like a big amphitheater with those kind of concrete seats they have sometimes, and then a whole grass area, and there had to be at least about 1200 people there, all of them from all over, you know, from all over and with families and like lots of kids. And so the crowd just went on and on, there was lots of food and lots of like, frivolity. And it was like cool vibe, very cool energy.
Paul Larsen: [01:00:07] So we get up to the front part of this and we're looking and one of the speakers who's, who's a wonderful, trusted friend of mine, she's like, oh, and I said, what? She goes, when do you go? And I said, I think I go like, I'm the first or second, right, to go on. She goes, I think that's going to be your screen up there. Because, you know, we were like, you know, you're going to have a screen, you're going to have projection, going to have like, you know, kind of a typical stage environment is what is what we expected, and potentially what we were told. But I'm sure there was, it was lost in communication or interpretation. Well, up there was a little desk, you know, the size of like a little Barbie and Ken desk, because this whole amphitheater is huge and 1200 people, and on the desk was a little desktop computer like any other, like a little HP, like a little Commodore computer with a little screen the size of that. And that was the screen. That was going to be my screen that I was going to use to have 1200 people watch the slides that I had so diligently, you know, prepared with animation and color.
Laura Reid: [01:01:18] Oh no.
Paul Larsen: [01:01:19] And people started, these other speakers started kind of like, they started looking at me like, they kind of started like getting like, what are you going to do? What are you going to do? What are you going to do? And yeah, because they were also like, and they were like, some of them were like, oh, we can't do this. There's no way, that's not going to work, you know. And the event had already started with whatever it was because there was an award ceremony, there was all this stuff going on. I had no idea because none of it was in English, that was the other thing, you know, it was like, there's, you know, it wasn't in English, but there was a translator up there who was translating, but at that time she was translating in a whole nother language. Well, I just found the whole thing, like I found it to be just exceptional. I just like, it's like, oh, this is going to be like, what am I going to do? What am I going to do? And people were like, do you know what you're going to do, do you know what you're going to do? And I said, yeah, I'm going to figure it out on my way up there, on my way up there. So up until that point I was about another 15 minutes, I, the whole thing is like, the presentation was gone. It's completely gone. So what I did is I said, I've got to get into the group as an introvert, right? I got to feel these people and they're lovely, beautiful people, just incredible souls, incredible like this incredible energy. So I went into the audience and they didn't know who I was. They didn't even know if I was going to be a speaker.
Paul Larsen: [01:02:30] I was just some some guy walking through, but I was smiling and they were smiling and I was like, yay! And, you know, I just kind of was walking through the audience while some of the other stuff was up on stage and just kind of, you know, watching the people and acknowledging, a lot of people came up and shook my hand just because they wanted to. And that made me feel like, whoa, okay, this group is ready for anything. This group will play with me. This group will do something with me. And they were just incredibly benevolent, right? And you know what? They weren't going to watch some slides, they weren't probably even going to, you know, want to. So when my, about five minutes later, my name, it's like Paul Larsen and they give an introduction just kind of like what you gave, right? And I could tell like it was like it didn't matter who I was. It didn't matter what, you know, it was like I just ran up there very Oprah-like, and I just, like, did these big twirls around the stage, you know? One of my, one of my speaking friends, Frank Furness, he does a lot of sales speaking, and he goes, Paul, you just twirl like nobody. He goes, you have this way of bringing people with you as you twirl. And that's what I did. And everyone started laughing and they started clapping and they started like, hooting and hollering, and it was like, and I was just twirling around and literally, literally, Laura, as I was twirling, I was like, what the eff am I going to be doing? I had no idea, I was twirling around.
Laura Reid: [01:04:00] Buys you time.
Paul Larsen: [01:04:01] Yeah. And then I decided, you know what? Everyone understands the word voice, right? And that was my book, right? Find your voice as a leader. And I was going to go into the intricacies of voice, your values, your outcomes, your influence, your courage, your expression. That wasn't going to work here. So I just said, okay, voice. Do we have a voice? Do we have a voice? Do we have a voice? And I repeated everything three times and it became like a mantra, right? And it was so funny because the speakers that I was with were like, getting into it. They were like, oh, this is where he's going. And they knew that, you know, we repeat stuff three times. So what I ended up doing was just saying, we all have a voice, we all have a voice, we all have a voice. I mean, I had no idea what what I was doing. I was watching the audience because it was like, you know, 1200 people is a lot of people. But the little kids were into it because they were having fun. And I said, you know what? That's what we're giving them. We're giving them this chance to kind of have fun and be motivated. And then what I ended up doing was I ended up like, you are the V's, you are the O's, you are the I's, you are the C's. So I got them to stand up with the V's and then stand up with the O's.
Laura Reid: [01:05:17] I love it.
Paul Larsen: [01:05:17] Yeah. And everyone just, they had, it was just wonderful. I was running up and down and, you know, this is like 100 degree heat with a 500% humidity. So I was like, just, but I was having the time of my life. It was so much fun. And then we got off that and we, I ended that, and everyone just, they just loved it. You know, they just loved it. But I loved them. And that was the part about it is I felt connected to them. So, you know, and are they going to walk away with the intricacies of like, you know, how do you actually find your voice? What's the workbook like? No, but that wouldn't have worked. This was going to be giving them, giving them the nourishment which they needed, actually, of inspiration, of purpose, of just passion and so forth. And got off stage and one of the other speakers came up and he just said to me, how did you do that? He goes, how did you go from this PowerPoint presentation you were going to do, to that? And I said, in the moment, I said, I just had to think in the moment. I said, I put myself in that audience. What would I want? You know, you know, I don't live in Myanmar, I don't live, you know, in the same culture and so forth. But it's like it's like, what would I want? And that was, that was just something that I needed to really put myself there. And I said I'd want somebody up here just jamming it and just being there with them.
Paul Larsen: [01:06:45] And that's the key. How do you serve them? If I had continued on, if I had continued on with trying to do it there, you know, the way that we were supposed to do it with the PowerPoint on this little desktop or deciding not to do it as maybe some of the speakers did, it wasn't going to, it wouldn't have worked. And even if I had done it that way, who am I serving? Who am I, you know, I had to figure that out. And I just give that, I tell you that story because it really went, you know, could have been sideways, you know, and it could have been, it could have been completely upside down. But I said, okay, asking why, what could I do differently? Creativity. What could I do differently? Curiosity. What do they want? Who are they? And courage. What do I have the courage to do? Do I have the courage to get up there and dance and twirl and have some fun, you know, and then, you know, at the end, I kind of did my little dance again, and people got up and danced. They twirled with me. And, you know, it ended up being something that could have been a real, you know, it could have been a disaster in a way. It ended up being one of the most special moments of my speaking career, of just, of my, because it was just, it was just beautiful. And I just...
Laura Reid: [01:08:04] There's so many gifts in that. I mean, I love that story so much. Thank you so much for sharing it. You know, because there's such a valuable lesson too in being flexible as a speaker and reading the room. And yeah, having that courage, that creativity in the moment. I love that when someone asks you, what are you going to do? And you're like, I'm going to figure it out as I get up there. When you're on stage, you're like, yeah, as I'm twirling, I'm still like, what am I going to do? Voice, you know? And you just went with it. You trusted yourself. You trusted your ability. You're mirroring like the energy of what's already there instead of killing it. Like, imagine if you just did go with the PowerPoint on the tiny screen. You would have killed all that energy. No one's going to be able to understand, pay attention. So instead, you fed into it. Fed into it. Not only that, you elevated it in a way that was not only probably, you know, a memory for you, like you said, one of your favorite experiences, but for perhaps for them too. They probably remember that crazy white dude that was twirling around on the stage. But we had so much fun, and our kids learned what it feels like to have a voice, empower it, you know, be part of something like that, right?
Paul Larsen: [01:09:08] Yeah.
Laura Reid: [01:09:08] It's beautiful.
Paul Larsen: [01:09:09] Thank you for that.
Laura Reid: [01:09:10] Thank you so much.
Paul Larsen: [01:09:11] Yeah, I just think, I appreciate that. And, you know, you just said something too, I just want to reiterate, as speakers, the biggest, besides serving the audience that we are there for, but another big gift that we can give is, are the people who put on the event, asking them, how can I help you? How can I support you? How can I make this even better? Or how can I make it work for you if it is kind of going off the rails as a lot of events do, and speakers can get in their little box. Okay, I've got a, you know, and I've seen it, I've seen the behavior, I've seen the reaction. I'm always like, what do you need? What do you need me to do? Oh my God, Paul, oh can you, can you cut your thing by 15 minutes and can you do something else? And it's like, got it, I'm there, I'm doing it. And they just like, you know, things happen in life. Things happen in life, you know, and to be, to be able to just give yourself to them and know that you can accomplish anything and you are helping them as well. And you're helping them build this beautiful community that everyone will then benefit from, is just a wonderful gift. And I think I'd love to see more speakers do that.
Laura Reid: [01:10:28] Yeah. That adaptability, that flexibility. I mean, I've seen speakers, it doesn't matter, there could be an earthquake or we lose power, I know they would stick to the script. Just not acknowledge like what is going on, what this new situation is or what I've been asked to do. Because like you said, we're serving them. You know, we're serving, so we need to be flexible, adapt. And I've had it go sideways too, like in the, where I made the wrong choice, you know, like not adapting to the room when I was doing stand up once because I knew my, I knew my set killed at this theater with that audience. So I'm like, I'm just going to do the same thing, I'm going to kill. But it was like a little nightclub kind of scene. Everybody's eating. It's a totally different vibe. And I got up there and I'm like, doing my set and no one is like, I'm not talking to them, I'm not acknowledging that difference. So it's such, I wish I'd had that lesson, but I kind of needed to learn it.
Paul Larsen: [01:11:19] We have to learn it.
Laura Reid: [01:11:20] And I didn't have the courage and the curiosity yet. I was new and I'm like, oh, this went well. I've memorized it. I'm going to do it again. It's going to have the exact same outcome. So, you know, you've got to be flexible. But, Paul, before we go, tell us, please, where we can find your book, where our listeners can follow you, find your book, what do you have upcoming we can, you know, look towards and, you know, you're just going to have so many fans. I'm such a fan. And you got to follow Paul, at least on LinkedIn, because I love the videos and the insight and the wisdom that you do. It's just always above and beyond. But where else?
Paul Larsen: [01:11:53] So you can...
Laura Reid: [01:11:54] Tell us all the things.
Paul Larsen: [01:11:55] Yeah, you can go to, you know, my website's kind of like what our, you know, tends to be our online home, right? Our nest. So Paul N, as in Neil, Larsen, L A R S E N dot com, and there you can find, you know, all of my social homes, all of the links I have. I do these coaching moments at, you so, you just so wonderfully and eloquently talked about. They're like 92nd to two minute little things I just do around helping people with a nugget that, you know, in life that I've learned from other people and so forth. Those are all on there. Now I've got some fun stuff, I think I'm going to be doing mastermind groups coming up, you know, for coaches. Got some other fun things planned for the summer, I think, that we're going to do.
Laura Reid: [01:12:39] For sure.
Paul Larsen: [01:12:39] For sure. So keep an eye on everything, you know. And again, you know, some things will happen, some things may not. You never know what happens. But I'm always out there. What I always love is people to just, if they want to just email me, if they want to send me a note on LinkedIn, on Facebook business, on any of the other platforms that I'm on. I'm Insta and so forth, just say hi. I'm always there and I'm always willing to meet with people too, you know, we have all, you know, everyone has their own kind of discovery calls. I just love to chat with people, and I'm happy to kind of listen to folks and say, here's my recommendation for you to go out and do something right now. It doesn't require any kind of buying of a coaching package or buying anything. It's like, hey, here's my thoughts for you right now because that's what's helped me. You know, it's like facing it, facing it till you make it.
Laura Reid: [01:13:31] Yeah, take that first step.
Paul Larsen: [01:13:32] Take that first step. Go out and do that. We may never meet again. We may never talk again. But here's what I would recommend for you to do, going going forward. So I love all of that. So I'm available on all those things and don't hesitate to reach out to me and just say hi.
Laura Reid: [01:13:48] Oh thank you, Paul. That's such a gift. This has been like, amazing. Thank you. Mahalo.
Paul Larsen: [01:13:52] Mahalo.
Laura Reid: [01:13:53] Mahalo for your humor, insights, straight-up wisdom, all the stories. This has, like, just been above and beyond for me. I'm so, so grateful that you get to be here. I know so many things to look forward to. And thank you too for our listeners. Thank you for, yeah, listening to another episode of The Public Speaking Horror Show and look forward to seeing you around the bend on the next one. Thank you, Paul.