Delegation

"But really my Lord, it isn't really democracy. It just makes people feel as it if were a democracy"

"I know, Sensus. The whole charade tires me"

The delegation from the Senate has come to air grievances with Caesar and his trusted friend Sensus. From taxes to health care and public transport, can our Ancient politicians find common ground in which to help the common person? (lol, politicians helping people)

Credits:
Nate Gothard as Caesar and Decievious                
Hester van der Vyver as Sensus                
Thomas Taufan as Voice and Guard                
Linda Chong as Intercom 

Written by Mike Jones and Iley Jones
Produced by Bass Mike Studios and Iris Lantern

What is On the Roman Nose?

Turning back the pages of history, In the yesteryears of time, there once was an empire that was mightier than any before and held land greater than any since. A culture rich in architecture, education and art, but there is so little remaining of the Great Khan's dynasty that we can't make fun of it. So to Ancient Rome instead!

Here we join Lord Caesar and his loyal assistant, confidant and friend, Senator Sensus in the famed marble palace, facing diplomatic issues, comedic characters and the burden of leadership.

From the mixed bag of stories in Getting You Home On Friday, On the Roman Nose is slapstick happy, witty, and full of humour in a collection of short and sweet episodes.

(On the Roman Nose, Episode Nine, Delegation)

THEME SONG: ROMAN MILITARY STYLE DRUMS WITH A FLOURISH OF HORNS.

VOICE: And now.... to Rome!

CROWD CHEERING.

SENSUS: Lord Caesar?

CAESAR: Yes, Sensus?

SENSUS: A delegation to see you.

CAESAR: Anthony Delegation?

SENSUS: No, my Lord, a delegation from the Senate. They seek an audience.

CAESAR: (DRYLY) I think there is one at the Colosseum.

SENSUS: An audience with you, Caesar.

CAESAR: But I'm not at the Colosseum.

SENSUS: Shall I show them in?

CAESAR: (ANNOYED) Very well, Sensus. This democracy thing is really getting to me.

SENSUS: But really my Lord, it isn't really democracy. It just makes people feel as it if were a
democracy.

CAESAR: I know, Sensus. The whole charade tires me.

SENSUS: As it will tire leaders for centuries to come, Lord Caesar.

CAESAR: How very true. Oh well, send them in, Sensus.

SENSUS: (CALLING OUT) Call the Delegation of Senators!

GUARD: (DISTANT) Call the Delegation of Senators!

INTERCOM: (OVER PA) Calling the elongation of Minotaurs, elongation of Minotaurs, please report to
Lord Caesar.

SENSUS: Yes... I will fix that Caesar.

CAESAR: Didn’t mind it myself.

DOORS OPEN AND A HERD OF CATTLE APPROACH AND STOP.

DECIEVIOUS: (SLIMILY) Gracious Caesar.

CAESAR: Who told him my first name, I'll kill the bastard!

SENSUS: (WHISPERS) I think it is just a term of endearment.

CAESAR: Oh, I see.

DECIEVIOUS: My Lord, it has transpired that the Senate has elected this delegation to beseech you and
more over this delegation has elected me to be its voice.

CAESAR: Very well, Decievious, approach.

DECIEVIOUS: My Lord, I pray that you hear our request.

CAESAR: Thank you for your prayers, but there is nothing wrong with my ears.

DECIEVIOUS: My Lord, the people are burdened, nay over burdened with taxes. The average peasant
eats poorly....

CAESAR: Poorly?

DECIEVIOUS: Lightly roasted.

CAESAR: I see.

DECIEVIOUS: Our hospitals are filthy and a haven of disease and suffering.

CAESAR: Yes...

DECIEVIOUS: And our public transport is almost non-existent.

CAESAR: And?

DECIEVIOUS: Law and order can be bought and sold cheaply.

CAESAR: I see. But Senator Decievious…

DECIEVIOUS: Yes, good Caesar?

CAESAR: Aren't you in charge of all these matters?

DECIEVIOUS: Why yes, my Lord.

CAESAR: So what is it exactly that you seek?

DECIEVIOUS: A pay rise!

CAESAR: For all of you?

DECIEVIOUS: Why not?

CAESAR: By how much?

DECIEVIOUS: Around 20 percent.

CAESAR: That seems steep.

DECIEVIOUS: It is only to keep up with costs.

CAESAR: Costs?

DECIEVIOUS: Yes, my Lord, entertaining, slaves, courtesans...

SENSUS: But you voted down a pay rise last week for the colosseum cleaners.

DECIEVIOUS: Yes, Sensus, but that would cause inflation. May I remind Lord Caesar that whatever
remuneration the Senators are granted twice that will be bestowed upon our gracious
Lord Caesar.

CAESAR: Well, it does have some merit.

DECIEVIOUS: And all senators would benefit.....Sensus?

SENSUS: Yes, there is some merit, perhaps. But I would advisor Lord Caesar to consider the long
term….

CAESAR: I mean we can't have Senators cutting back on their entertaining. Where would leave us in the
eyes of the world? Very well, Decievious, the pay rise is granted.

DECIEVIOUS: Thank you, my Lord. It will be with great pleasure that I will inform the Senate who will,
no doubt, be in deep gratitude to your Lordship. Ave Lord Caesar, Ave Senator Sensus.

CAESAR: Ave Decievious.

SENSUS: Ave Senators all.

ALL: Ave.

HERD OF CATTLE LEAVING AND DOORS SHUTTING.

SENSUS: Well. Incompetent, corrupt and diabolically evil.

CAESAR: My thoughts exactly, Sensus. I really do like him.

THEME OUT.

END

Copyright by Mike Jones and Iley Jones