166 Trusting the Unknown: Where Life Leads When We Let Go | Kristy Halvorsen

What happens when we stop trying to control our lives and begin listening to the quiet nudges within? What becomes possible when we’re willing to step into the space where the known ends and life begins?In this conversation, author and world traveler Kristy Halvorsen joins me from inside her Airstream, the home she’s lived in for the past eight years while following what she calls the “tickles of her soul.”Kristy’s book, Perfect Unfolding, chronicles not just a physical journey across North America but an inner journey of awakening, surrender, and discovering a deeper connection to life.We explore how aloneness began to fall away, what it means to trust the unknown, how to live from inner guidance rather than fear, and the quiet courage it takes to follow the path that calls to us, even when it makes no logical sense.If you’ve been feeling a tug toward something new, a shift, a desire, or a possibility you can’t quite explain, this episode is an invitation to listen more closely. To trust the nudges. To take the next step without knowing the whole map. And to discover, as Kristy has, that life often leads us somewhere far more beautiful than anything we could have planned.Here’s my conversation with Kristy Halvorsen.Thank you for listening to the Innerverse of Business and Life Podcast. For more resources like this, visit Barb's website at Barbarapatterson.com (https://barbarapatterson.com/).SHOW NOTES:[00:00] - Introduction to Perfect Unfolding[05:52] - The Journey of Aloneness and Connection[08:50] - Embracing Surrender and Transformation[11:47] - The Power of Following Your Heart[14:34] - The Impact of Unexpected Connections[17:51] - Living by the Tickles of the Soul[25:46] - Embracing the Unknown[33:48] - The Power of Presence in Relationships[41:42] - Trusting the Journey of Life[50:45] - Thank you for listening to The Innerverse of Business and Life Podcast!SHOW LINKS:Visit Kristy's website (https://kristyhalvorsen.com/).Read Kristy's book, Perfect UnfoldingFollow Kristy on Instagram (https://www.instagram.com/kristy.halvorsen/)

Show Notes

What happens when we stop trying to control our lives and begin listening to the quiet nudges within? What becomes possible when we’re willing to step into the space where the known ends and life begins?

In this conversation, author and world traveler Kristy Halvorsen joins me from inside her Airstream, the home she’s lived in for the past eight years while following what she calls the “tickles of her soul.”

Kristy’s book, Perfect Unfolding, chronicles not just a physical journey across North America but an inner journey of awakening, surrender, and discovering a deeper connection to life.

We explore how aloneness began to fall away, what it means to trust the unknown, how to live from inner guidance rather than fear, and the quiet courage it takes to follow the path that calls to us, even when it makes no logical sense.

If you’ve been feeling a tug toward something new, a shift, a desire, or a possibility you can’t quite explain, this episode is an invitation to listen more closely. To trust the nudges. To take the next step without knowing the whole map. And to discover, as Kristy has, that life often leads us somewhere far more beautiful than anything we could have planned.

Here’s my conversation with Kristy Halvorsen.

Thank you for listening to the Innerverse of Business and Life Podcast. For more resources like this, visit Barb's website at Barbarapatterson.com.

SHOW NOTES:

[00:00] - Introduction to Perfect Unfolding

[05:52] - The Journey of Aloneness and Connection

[08:50] - Embracing Surrender and Transformation

[11:47] - The Power of Following Your Heart

[14:34] - The Impact of Unexpected Connections

[17:51] - Living by the Tickles of the Soul

[25:46] - Embracing the Unknown

[33:48] - The Power of Presence in Relationships

[41:42] - Trusting the Journey of Life

[50:45] - Thank you for listening to The Innerverse of Business and Life Podcast!

SHOW LINKS:

Visit Kristy's website.

Read Kristy's book, Perfect Unfolding

Follow Kristy on Instagram

What is The Innerverse of Business & Life?

This podcast is a space to explore the profound connection between our inner world and our work in the world. We dive deep into the heart of what it means to live and work from a felt knowing of our essential selves – aligned, alive, and fully expressed. We’ll play at the intersection of business, spirituality, consciousness, and growth.

Through intimate conversations with thought leaders, change-makers, authors, and humans just like you and me, you’ll hear real stories of transformation and the internal shifts, “aha” moments, and wake-up calls that have helped them to access new dimensions of creativity, higher levels of intelligence, unlock dormant potentials and experience greater joy and fulfillment.

Barb Patterson (00:56)
Hi, welcome to the universe of business and life. I'm your host, Barb Patterson. Today I'm joined by Christy Halverson, author of Perfect Unfolding, who describes herself as a nomadic world traveler, explorer, mentor, and coach. Christy has spent the last eight years living on the road in her Airstream following what she calls the tickles of her soul and letting life lead her in surprising and beautiful ways. I really appreciate it and love this conversation because

as she shares with a lot of heart, a lot of depth, a lot of authenticity. What you're going to see is that her story isn't really about the airstream or the travel, but more about an awakening. It's about learning to trust the unknown, letting old fear, aloneness fall away and discovering a deeper sense of connection, love and inner guidance.

In our conversation, she speaks so openly about what it means to surrender to life, to follow those nudges that don't always make logical sense and can bring up a lot of fear or insecurity. But one of the things that she discovered in a really beautiful and powerful way is how supported she actually is. So if you've ever felt that tug,

If you've ever felt the desire to step into something new or sense to quiet inner pool, to try something, to move in a certain direction, I think you're going to resonate with this conversation. As always, thank you for being here. And if you know anyone that would benefit from this conversation, please share it with them. And now here's Christy.

Barb Patterson (02:49)
Christy, welcome. Thank you so much for being here.

Kristy Halvorsen (02:54)
Thanks for the invite to be here. I'm so excited to see where we'll go.

Barb Patterson (02:58)
I know and for those listening that can't see and maybe even for those that are on YouTube, Christy is inside her Airstream, which is going to be a key character or a part of our conversation today. So I love it. I love it. You know, Christy, I want to just dive in and ⁓

Kristy Halvorsen (03:12)
Yes.

Barb Patterson (03:18)
You know, your book is going to be kind of central to what frames our conversation today. But I know based on who you are and all the amazing things you have to say, we'll also trust wherever the conversation wants to take us. But your book, Perfect Unfolding, was, I just want to start by saying what a lovely experience it was to read it. You know, the heart, the vulnerability, the authenticity and

But also I was like on your adventures with you too. And I shared with you, I'm a bit of a wanderer myself, I love to travel, I've lived a lot of different places. But I think that experience just does so much for us. And what I love about your book is not only do you share some of that and some of the key characters and people and places that you go, but...

your inner journey throughout this whole book, I think is just really beautiful and I think relatable on so many levels to us. So I wanted to just start by asking you, you know, if you could distill Perfect Unfolding into like one invitation, one core invitation for the reader, what would it be?

Kristy Halvorsen (04:36)
Hmm.

I guess the simplest way I could say it is, whether we're really happy with our life or we wish it were different, pretty much everyone is up for being surprised and living a life that's more incredible than our wildest dreams. Most of us would not say no to that.

Barb Patterson (04:59)
Yeah, I'm in. Yeah.

Kristy Halvorsen (05:04)
And

you're right, this book is a beautiful journey. It's a physical journey. ⁓ But I think the most important part is it takes you, it takes the reader on this transformative journey and gives us all permission to live the life that's really calling us.

Barb Patterson (05:24)
Yeah, that's beautiful. and it's like the, know, really, very early on, you discover that you're going to be able to see kind of the, you know, parts of the world through your eyes and that piece. But also, I think very early on, you realize there's something else available in the reading of this. And I think I might have this wrong. I'm paraphrasing, but it really becomes a book about

love, becomes a book about awakening, it becomes a book about letting go and surrender. And so I'm really excited to explore all those themes with you.

Kristy Halvorsen (06:03)
Yeah, and you hit the nail on the head. ⁓ That's exactly what the book's about. And just by chance, you get to come on a grand adventure with me, ⁓ you know, through the US and Canada. But what you just said about surrender and love and acceptance and awakening, like that is truly what this book is about. And that's why it will relate with anyone. It doesn't matter if you dislike traveling or don't care about that kind of thing. It truly...

Barb Patterson (06:26)
Yeah.

Kristy Halvorsen (06:30)
from what I've seen so far and the people that have read it, it stirs something inside of everyone. And what's fun is it stirs something different inside of everyone.

Barb Patterson (06:39)
Yeah, yeah, I think that fits for me too. And I think there were so many things in there, whether, I'll, you know, we can talk a little bit about it, but like that aloneness, ⁓ the shift in the aha you had around that. But also, I think ⁓ it can look like the travel or being in the airstream or going to these great

locations is sort of the point. But I think what it illustrates, it's what it wakes up in us. And I think that's true for all of us, whether our adventure is ⁓ relationship or parenting or a new job or being your own solopreneur or a new something you want to create, whether it's a book or a program, you know, that becomes our metaphor, our opportunity, I think, to wake up.

to more of what's true for us as well.

Kristy Halvorsen (07:41)
Yes, definitely. And that's what I love to share with people is you don't have to do a certain thing a certain way. You just you just follow the path that's calling to you. And whatever the path that is all those things you just named and more. And when we're all in, you know, life shows us what we need to see next. And sometimes it's sometimes we bang up against our sticky spots and it's not comfortable at all. But

Barb Patterson (07:48)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Kristy Halvorsen (08:07)
Honestly, a lot of those times, you know, provide for the biggest aha moments too. So, but yeah, you can do anything you want. We're all in our individual journeys, but to me, it's not so much about the doing what we're actually doing, although that's fun. It's more about who we're becoming through that.

Barb Patterson (08:12)
Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, let's talk, you know, ⁓ first you started to speak in the book about kind of this idea of aloneness. And I think that that's something I know I have felt in my life at times. I think probably most people have, you know, whether you're in a group, you could still feel alone or you're actually alone. And talk about

why that was important for you to bring into the book and into the conversation.

Kristy Halvorsen (08:59)
Well, you know, for a lot of my life, I've I always had kind of, you know, the closer friends and I did well in very small groups, I wasn't the person that I wasn't a big social butterfly. And I kind of stuck to my own, my myself and being alone a lot. And I share how a lot of that stems back to.

some childhood experiences when I made a promise to myself, you know, that I didn't want to love anyone so much that it would hurt if they left. And, you know, that was when I was 13. And it shaped the rest of my life. Well, not the rest of it. It shaped a good two or three decades of it. And this book, you know, I've been on the road now for eight years.

Barb Patterson (09:39)
Yeah.

Kristy Halvorsen (09:46)
And that to me is the biggest journey of my journey is letting go of all the ideas I had about love and how I could love and couldn't love and who loved me and really playing with experiencing all the emotions. But aloneness was a real big one because when I hit the road, it was with my previous boyfriend. It was supposed to be. That was our plan. And I didn't want to do this journey alone.

And thankfully my mom slapped me in a really loving way and said, what are you thinking? You can do this alone. And that's where the book begins. And so this journey of traveling and meeting all these people and seeing myself in a different way and seeing truths about life, the biggest part of that has been realizing that I'm never alone, ever. None of us are. None of us are.

Barb Patterson (10:21)
Yeah.

.

Kristy Halvorsen (10:42)
And it was a really, really tough first year. My first year was miserable. In fact, if I could have taken it all back and got my house back and my job back and everything back and given the Airstream to someone else, I would have in an instant taken my old life back. But I'm so glad that that was pretty much impossible because it forced me just to say, chose this. got a role with it. And then through this journey is when I really saw that there's no such thing as being alone.

Barb Patterson (11:09)
So why, I'd love to hear, can you give a little bit more context, why was it so hard that first year? What was it? ⁓

Kristy Halvorsen (11:16)
Well,

because I was fighting what was happening. And what was happening was I was on this incredible journey by myself. And most of that first year was the regret that I was never supposed to be by myself. Like in the book Wade, I mentioned Wade in the book. He and I were supposed to do this journey together. And we'd been planning it for years. And so I was fighting what actually was happening. And then, yeah, I just.

Barb Patterson (11:31)
Hmm.

Kristy Halvorsen (11:47)
I think a big part of it was I didn't understand who I was. So even if Wade had never existed and this was my own journey and I was happy on my own, I think I probably still would have been pretty unhappy because I didn't get the truth of who we are and who I am. Like didn't have the understanding to know how connected we all are. I kind of, used to think of relationships as like, I've got these really close friendships that are.

I've known them for 10 and 20 years and they're really important. But the person I meet today on the trail or in the grocery store, that's just a baby relationship and that's not the same. I can still be friends with them and be alone. But incredibly during this journey very early on, I started to see that none of that matters and connection is inherent. And I can sit and have this unexplainable love and deep connection with someone I

I just met today, you know, and yeah, so.

Barb Patterson (12:50)
And

what's the moment that you saw that your suffering was coming from just still being upset about the fact that it didn't look the way you thought it was going to? What helped that sort of begin to fall away?

Kristy Halvorsen (13:09)
You know, was the first thing that comes to mind was I, was 2018 and I was in New Mexico and I was in the national forest, which that's another thing, you know, your listeners might enjoy hearing is I don't like campgrounds. So I'm living in an airstream, but I want to live off grid in nature away from most everything. And I feel really at home in nature. So I was in this national forest and there weren't many people, people would come and go, but

But I made really strong connections with the few sprinklings of people that were in the area. And yeah, that's when I first started to see how deep of a connection we can have with anyone and it not, quote, take any time at all. And then I had this experience with a raven and I barely mentioned it in the book, but I stepped outside of my trailer in New Mexico and it was just.

Barb Patterson (13:53)
Yeah.

Kristy Halvorsen (14:05)
so silent, there was no wind and the sun was just barely coming up over the mountains. And I heard the sound of wings, like just whoosh, whoosh. And I was looking to see where it was coming from. And then this raven flew right over my head. And I've never had an experience like this. In fact, if I didn't have it myself, I probably would have been like, that stuff doesn't happen in real life. It was still a little woo woo. But when the raven flew over my head, I felt this message.

Like literally felt this message. It's almost like I heard it without a voice. And it said, you're on this journey to learn to say goodbye. And the reason that had so much meaning was because right at that time I was really connecting with people deeply. And then either I'd leave or they'd leave. And so was like, was getting over this idea that I'm alone. And then I was having this...

the sadness over continually leaving the people I meet and get close with. And when the raven fell over and I felt this message drop, I turned around and it flew towards a bunch of mountains that were black, because the sun had just come over the mountains, but its wings just reflected gold from the sun. And then it dipped below the mountains and just disappeared into the black. And I had just the night before met a Native American man who was

like a quarter mile away. And I didn't know what the bird was. I was thinking, I'm, think it's a Raven, it's a crow, I don't know. So I jumped on my bike and rode to this man's camping area. And he was like, what are you doing up so early? sit by the fire. And I sat down and, and all I did was ask, what are those big black birds? And he just spoke for about half an hour. Oh, that's the Raven. And he had a big tattoo of a Raven's feather on his leg.

And he just went on and on and on about Ravens and what they mean in the Native American spiritual world and how their messages, their messengers from above. said, you know, they're pretty much equivalent to angels and they give messages to special members of the tribe. And it was really incredible. And they're agents of transformation. And he just went on and on. Like I said, it was like probably 20 to 30 minute monologue. I just sat there and listened. And then he asked.

Why did you come over here so early this morning? And then I told him about the experience I had just had and he goes, ⁓ you see, you know? And I just got chills again hearing that, hearing myself say that. But yeah, and then we talked about the meaning of what I had heard. And I really thought it applied to my mom because she had been sick for many years. And I was scared to leave.

Barb Patterson (16:44)
amazing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Kristy Halvorsen (17:01)
She's in Florida. I was scared to go west because I was like, if something happens? And this was early on, like I said, this was in the first six months of my journey, talking to this Native American elder. And we just talked about what it means to say goodbye and what it means to be connected and how there's no really goodbyes. And that's kind of, I feel what the raven was saying. You're on this journey to learn to say goodbye. But I feel like it was like in such a gentle way that there actually is never a true goodbye.

that makes any sense. Yeah, and so I could say that was that was when the aloneness first started really falling away.

Barb Patterson (17:31)
Yeah, that's beautiful. Yeah.

Yeah. And as the aloneness fell away, what it sounds like what started to be more felt in your experience was the connection. Was there anything else you noticed as the aloneness fell away?

Kristy Halvorsen (17:51)
Yeah.

Well, I can say the loneliness really fell away almost exactly a year after that experience in New Mexico. And and and I just had a big aha, like a massive wow. So and saw life completely differently. And and what I realized was that we're it's impossible. We're not alone. We're connected to everything. Like we are literally.

you know, the body of the universe, all of us, you know? And it's, and I felt strange telling people this, because I, it's kind of like within a day or two of having this big aha, I was like, I'm gonna never feel lonely again, ever. I won't. There's no, it's impossible. And I was embarrassed to say it, because I didn't know if it was true. And then within a few years, I was just like, no, I'm okay telling people about this, because it's as true as true can be. And I truly feel like I'll,

It's impossible to feel loneliness ever again. I haven't in what's been over six years now. And I can't imagine ever feeling lonely because it's not who we are. I don't even know if that answered your question.

Barb Patterson (19:06)
Yeah, yeah,

yeah, absolutely. And so do you feel like as you had that realization and the crow and kind of the meeting of the people, ⁓ as you started to just, this is my interpretation of it, right? But as you started to just relax into surrender into the journey more and more.

What were you using? Like I know you talk in the book about nudges and ⁓ you know that idea of what did you call them? I want to say tickles. Thank you. I want to say tingles. And I'm like, I don't think that's that's right. So, you know, like ⁓ was that a new awareness to you or had you always sort of had a had that and

Kristy Halvorsen (19:43)
tickles of my soul.

Yeah.

Barb Patterson (19:58)
and it just became more prevalent. Like, was that your GPS? know, was that the... literally? Yeah.

Kristy Halvorsen (20:03)
Yeah, you know,

I'm glad you asked that because I've been a different bird my whole life. But but the fall, I used to call it falling my heart. That's what I called it pretty much since my 20s onward. And so, you know, at the age of 24, I had a big decision that everybody thought was a bad idea except for me and one uncle. Other than that, the whole world, everybody knew it was like your dad's a bad idea. I am my heart said go. And so I went and I did it. And it was

And I tell people that was the best decision of my life because at 23 or 24, I realized I can trust that. I can trust that knowing I can trust my heart. Even when my brain is like, you're nuts and everybody else says that, too, I can really trust it. And so ever since then, since my early 20s, I've been really up to following my heart. And when I set off on this journey, when, you like I said, I was by myself and I'm like, what am I doing? But I feel really, really drawn to do this.

It was an experiment. was like, it seems to me that I can just follow these tickles of my soul and not even have a clue where I'm going to sleep tonight. No, have no idea where I'm actually going and just wander and be open to anything and everything's going to be okay. And so when I set off in 2017, that was the like, is this possible? Can I live like this? And the more I lived like that in the beginning, I just thought it related to travel.

And then the more I lived like that and the more it of bled into every area of my life, I really realized that, you know, this relates to everything. Like all the shoulds and needs-tos and expectations, like as much as possible, you can just let that all go and listen to this, what I call the tickles of my soul. And things will turn out in most, usually better than I ever could have imagined on my own. So,

To me, when I started, was like a, you know, like I was a junior varsity Cotty Wompler. And Cotty Wompling is just living in this way with living by your inner knowing. So I was like a junior varsity Cotty Wompler and the journey has taken me to, you know, the best Cotty Womplers in the world are little kids. And so they're like, like they're the highest order of Cotty Wompling. So, but I'm slowly working my way back to that, but I feel like

Barb Patterson (22:06)
Yeah.

hahahaha

Kristy Halvorsen (22:28)
That's what really changed my life is being able to live by those tickles of my soul, by just what I know to do without any expectations of what might happen.

Barb Patterson (22:37)
Yeah. And so in a real world way, how did that show up for you? Literally, it sounds like where you would decide to go. But how else over these last few years has following that tickle, what has it shown you?

Kristy Halvorsen (22:47)
Yeah.

I mean, just things that could never have happened if I listened to my brain. Like there's been so many times, like there's so many stories I can share of, really thought I knew what I was going to do that day. And then an opportunity showed itself, an invitation came from somewhere, someone. And then I was like, ⁓ but I had plans, but I was going to do my taxes, but I was going to, you name it. And then,

I was like, well, that's a should. Okay, I guess I'm not gonna do that. And I'll go do the other thing. So like, one real world example that's playing out as we speak is, ⁓ it was actually in The Journey, it was just a tiny little mention in the book. It was like a one line mention of me coming through Boston. And I mentioned the last three nights I've slept in three different beds and had meals at five different houses. And in fact, I stopped at,

a friend's place and went to a rugby World Cup party and who would have thought that was going to happen. And if you weren't a real world example, it was a friend of mine that I'd only known on Zoom had said, if you ever come to Boston, let me know. And so I let him know I'm coming through the Boston area and he said, we're having a big party tomorrow. South Africa is in the rugby World Cup and come over. And I had plans and it was work plans. But I was like, better just.

Barb Patterson (24:23)
Yeah.

Kristy Halvorsen (24:26)
cancel those and go to the party. And I went and I just met some incredible people. And little would I know that, you know, this year, you know, that was a few years ago, like the meeting, the people I met at the party have become major players in my life. And had I chosen to do work that day, and not go some incredible things that are happening right now, like we're, I'm with a group of people were

Barb Patterson (24:48)
Yeah.

Kristy Halvorsen (24:55)
creating a regenerative farm and ⁓ nature-based retreat center in New Hampshire. And that my connection there came from that rugby party. And I'm actually considering settling. don't like, there's nothing like a hundred percent sure yet, but there's a possibility that New Hampshire might become my home base, my first true home base in eight years. And it might actually be home. Like I might stop wandering and...

Barb Patterson (24:59)
⁓ beautiful.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Kristy Halvorsen (25:25)
Cotty other than just for holidays. I don't know. But the fact that that one Saturday, I had no clue and it didn't unfold until years later, just shows me what is possible when we truly follow what is pulling us. And I was, I was nudged to go to this party even though I had responsibilities. And I canceled my responsibilities in a really responsible way and went to the party anyways. And look what happened.

Barb Patterson (25:27)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.

Kristy Halvorsen (25:53)
So it's that too. That's the Kadiwample. That's the tickles of my soul, you know?

Barb Patterson (25:56)
Yeah, it's a great story because I think that's true. think so often we override those promptings or nudges or what we really would like to be doing because of, you know, our to-do list or the thing we should be doing or, you know, all those things. And yet, when we...

build up our capacity to hear it, to hear those nudges, to feel them and then follow through. think you're right. I think we're often really surprised. And part of the thing I think that you speak to in the book, but also you're kind of speaking to right now is that so often when we feel a nudge or a prompting, like the mind is like, goes, you know, 20 steps ahead and it's like, why, what's this going to do for us?

Kristy Halvorsen (26:47)
Exactly.

Barb Patterson (26:48)
And

what if that doesn't work and what, you know, it's like starts to get ahead and try and work everything out. And if logically there's not a good reason or there's a scary what if scenario, we don't move. And at one point in the book, you talk about the unknown being your drug of choice or something like that, right? But really what you're saying is letting the tickles be your guide, letting you

Kristy Halvorsen (27:06)
Yeah, yes, no.

Barb Patterson (27:15)
be available for opportunities that come in a day and seeing and listening, saying, that a yes or a no? Like it does require a living in the unknown more, in a more conscious way, I guess, because we could argue we're always in the unknown, but let's not do that. So I'm just curious, like, what do you see around that piece?

Kristy Halvorsen (27:39)
Yeah, I completely agree with you and there's no need to argue anything because I'm like, we're always in the unknown. We just don't know it. You know, we just don't realize it. think everything's planned out. We know what's going to happen. But I love how you just said that. I think you used the word consciously, like more consciously in the unknown. And I think that's what I've honed the skill of.

Barb Patterson (27:44)
Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Kristy Halvorsen (28:03)
it's really consciously being like, have no clue what's going to happen. just, even the things I think I know, like I have no idea. And when, and when we live like this with, with the caveat that everything, everything, everything that's happening in all of life, even when it doesn't feel nice is the perfect unfolding of everything.

then what's so scary about the unknown? Like there's really truly nothing to be afraid of, you know? And yeah, and I think that's the main cusp of where I'm at is just...

If we can see the unknown as a really awesome surprise and not some scary thing we have to fight against, it completely like for me, it completely changed how I was being in all parts of my life. Because then I could just then I was just free to live. I wasn't stuck in worry and I wasn't stuck in regret. And that was the other thing in my big aha when aloneness vanished, when feeling alone and lonely vanished. That same day, all regret and worry vanished at the same time.

And the only time I regret or worry now is when I forget and everybody forgets like it's a it's a given we all forget. So I'll have this moment where I'm I'm worrying and then there'll be some it's usually rather quickly when I'm like what am I thinking and I don't have to try to stop worrying I just have to remember the truth and then the worry goes away and to me the truth is like whatever's gonna happen is gonna happen and I can be fully present in a part of that in a beautiful

divine way. Or I can sit here and worry and fear and make stuff up about what could possibly go wrong. And I just, to me, it's not anything I have to try. It just doesn't make sense anymore. Like worry just doesn't make sense at all to do. seems, it's like, why would I torture myself for no reason? know? Yeah.

Barb Patterson (29:59)
Yeah, yeah,

that's great. And I think there's this piece around, you know, welcoming the unexpected, like, really seeing that it's in the unexpected where fresh opportunities, newness occurs, know, potential is in the unknown, it cannot be in the known, right? New potential, new expression, new possibility isn't in what we know, it's in that unknown.

And so I do think part of what we do is just increase our capacity to be with those unsettled moments, those times when the mind does get carried away at a future scenario or worry. That we don't have to control all that to be able to move forward, to be able to keep.

going, you know, it's just all a natural part of our humanness is that full range of the human experience. And I think, you know, one of the things I got onto myself, and when I started to see this more and more was like, yeah, like I'm creating a world that's pretty narrow, if I only want to do things that make me feel a certain way. And I never want to do anything that makes me feel uncomfortable or insecure or

Kristy Halvorsen (31:20)
Yeah.

Barb Patterson (31:21)
awkward, you know, it's like I'm going to limit what I'm available for. So I think it's a really empowering place for people to really like reflect for themselves. Like, what if I knew I could handle it? I'm made for it. Like I'm okay. That peace, resilience, all of my okayness is inherent. And the wobbles that come by taking risks, by following the tingle or heart, you know, like

Those are temporary and a new life or that thing we crave or hope for is often on the other side of those things.

Kristy Halvorsen (32:01)
yeah. I love that you mentioned that because that's to me, that's a huge part of living in this space of the beautiful unknown. It's, going to be uncomfortable. it's like, we've been hardwired and taught that the known is where it's at and it, and we're safe there, you know? And so, so in order to be really cool with like living in the unknown and welcoming the unknown.

Barb Patterson (32:21)
Yeah, yeah.

Kristy Halvorsen (32:29)
you've got to get really comfortable with being uncomfortable sometimes. know, and to me it's like, know, fear isn't a problem. More often than not, it's our when we're afraid of being afraid that is, you know? And so it's like, if we can just say, well, I'm a little scared right now. I'm a little worried, wherever you name it. I'm a little anxious.

Barb Patterson (32:32)
Yeah. Yeah.

Kristy Halvorsen (32:53)
whatever word you want to put around it. And I know I can do this anyways. I'm just going to just keep taking my walk. That changes everything. it's not, it's like when we fight it, when we want it to go away, that usually doesn't work out really well for anyone. It's when we're just like, like you said, welcoming the unknown. It's like welcoming the worry, welcoming the fear, welcoming the uncomfortable feelings and just saying, I'll just do this and feel this way too. Yeah.

Barb Patterson (33:20)
Yeah. Yeah.

And I think that coming back to that idea of, know, via that, we're more available to some of the ⁓ miracles, the surprises, the unexpected encounters, you know, we're actually kind of rather than onto the next thing in our head or trying to get through something just to get somewhere else. There's a way your book also, I think, creates this

invitation to be available to life. And I think one of the, obviously, central themes is how all sorts of relationships throughout the book, what it called, what it asked of you was to be more available to all of that, right? Including the love and the intimacy. And I wonder if you could speak to that piece.

Kristy Halvorsen (34:14)
Yeah, and that's a huge one. It's being with yourself, being with who you're with, and without any ideas or preconceived reasons to be with them or not to be with them in whatever way you are. And not be thinking about tomorrow or the next five minutes, just to be there. And it feels to me like...

Like those tickles of our soul can only happen in that space. You know, and we don't know, I can speak for myself, I never know when someone comes into my life, if it's gonna be for a quick hello or, you know, a friend for a day or two that I might never see again or a lifelong partnership. And I think this goes back to the big aha too about all of us just being so.

intrinsically connected. And when you're when when we approach life that way, and a beautiful human comes across our path and invites us for anything, a conversation, a journey, like, if it's a no, say no. But if it's a yes, like go for it and

You know, and in this part, feel like one of the things I'm asked the most is, aren't you like, how do you keep yourself safe? Like people ask me that all the time. You know, and, and it was interesting because it wasn't until I was reading the, like creating the audio book that I started realizing for the most part, a lot of the people I meet on my journey are men. And I was even, I was kind of shocked when I realized that I'm like, I'm hanging out with all these strangers who happen to be male. And I think that's what makes a lot of

Barb Patterson (35:42)
Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Kristy Halvorsen (36:02)
people nervous, you know, as in our society, we're taught like single female, you don't go hang out with men you don't know, you know, that's, that can spell danger. ⁓ But I just, the other thing is not only the tickles of my soul don't, not only they tell me the next step to take, like where I should head, what direction, but I really am so present that I feel like I can tell when I should.

go somewhere else when I shouldn't hang out with someone. And in the relationship piece, I feel that's really comfortable. And I'm not saying that's just about men. I'm saying that's about anyone. Or even a space that I happen to be living in is when we're that present. Like there are times when I do get a little bit of the willies. And sometimes, and there's an instance in the book with a man that kept bringing me fish. Like he showed up three times in one day and I was like, okay, this is strange.

Barb Patterson (36:32)
Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Kristy Halvorsen (37:00)
And I kind

of shoot him away because my spidey sense started going off saying, a single man does not find a woman in three different places in the same day that I didn't tell him I was going. It started to feel a little freaky. But then I realized when I I shoot him off and he left politely, I realized it was just the culture was different. Like the people in Newfoundland and Labrador are of a whole different breed. They're the most loving, giving people I've ever met in my life.

Barb Patterson (37:03)
Yeah.

Kristy Halvorsen (37:28)
And this man just saw a single woman on her own and was trying to help. But, you know, there's times where I, like, my radar kind of goes off. But for them, that's really, really rare. For the most part, because I'm so, like, in tune with just feeling things out, I can allow myself to connect so deeply with just about anyone. And sometimes those relationships blossom into things that I, again,

Barb Patterson (37:52)
Yeah.

Kristy Halvorsen (37:57)
beyond my wildest dreams.

Barb Patterson (37:58)
Yeah. And what has that like, what's it asked of you? know, like what I mean by that is sometimes I believe those inner places where we're curious or we're compelled to go or we start to see things through insight, they're evolving us, like, you know, and I'm curious, like,

how the relationship aspects or that availability, that presence evolved you in regard to being available in relationship. I don't mean like dating. I just mean those connections as you're talking about. I love that you said those that tingle, all that like keep in your presence helps you know when to stay, when to go, all of that. But how has it evolved you as

in regard to love.

Kristy Halvorsen (38:55)
Yeah, and that's been a huge, that's been one of my stickiest spots in all of life. And it feels to me that, you know, life just kept sending me angels over and over and over. know, like I used to early in my journey, like 17 and 18, I would say that there's angels everywhere. And it truly that's what I felt like just regular old people would show up.

and really like incredibly special, deep, loving, caring ways. And, you know, it would bring tears to my eyes. Like I'm a stranger and you care this much, you know? And it helped me open my eyes to really loving, really loving and really allowing myself to be loved. And...

you know, love and loving, it comes in so many different forms and so many different ways. You know, it could be something as simple as, you know, like that the man that kept checking on me and bringing me fish, you know, and then there's also the really special relationship I had with Danielle and Fabian in the book. And that was a couple that I just happened to meet. And strangely enough, I met them. They gave me a fish, too. A lot of fish giving going on.

Barb Patterson (40:18)
Yeah, yeah.

Kristy Halvorsen (40:22)
But yeah, like, you know, Daniel and Fabian, ⁓ you know, they were, they were an older couple traveling pretty much the same journey, the same route I was on. And they didn't even, Fabian didn't even speak English and Daniel spoke okay English and I didn't speak any French. And yet our bond went so deep, so quick, so fast. And we are, are, we are connected the rest of our life. And, and I think

The way that opened me to love, like all these experiences, it's just seeing how simple love is when you just allow and let it happen. When you're not fighting it, when you're not putting crazy ideas and beliefs in the way, like that's truly all we are. And when we're living in a space of just feeling that love and peace and contentment, like more often than not, the people around us feel that and...

especially when you run into somebody in those same spaces, you can't help but fall in love with each other, you know? And to think that I, when I was a child, I thought love could hurt me. Like that was the real reason I made that promise. And through this journey and through all these years and all the angels that have like fallen into my life, I've realized that there's no way love could ever hurt anyone.

Barb Patterson (41:22)
Yeah.

And yeah, that's beautiful. I think it's...

that piece of realizing that it's worth moving into that, you know, like the journey for all of us that is called forth to move in that direction so we can be available to that kind of presence and love and those people and our own strength, I think is just such a beautiful part of what your book invites people to. you know, I'm curious, towards the end of the book, you speak

directly to the reader about trusting a lot of what we're talking about trust that it's all regardless of ups downs pain no pain it to it there's a perfect unfolding but what would you say to someone who right now feels that tug whether it's in a relationship or in a direction of career or life or making a transition

They're not going to sell their house and go on the road for eight years. Or maybe they are. Maybe they are, but they're at that sort of edge. What is something you would say to them about that?

Kristy Halvorsen (43:00)
Yeah.

Yeah, I feel like it's something around like

I can only speak to myself and I would ask them to like hear, know, like listen to what I'm saying in terms of their own situation.

But I really, really know that the universe is kind, it's friendly. And I don't get to choose my desires. It feels like I have desires and the old me would have said I chose that. I chose to love boondocking in nature rather than living in a campground.

Barb Patterson (43:42)
Yeah. ⁓

Kristy Halvorsen (43:48)
Like it really feels like that was my choice. But where did that come from? Like it doesn't feel like it comes from me. Like it just feels like I'm being lived by life and my desires are life's way of nudging me along in the direction of my fullest, most beautiful expression. And so when we get those nudges, we know to do something like...

and we can feel it in our gut, in our heart. And then we make up all these reasons why it's not a good idea. Like the part of us that's making up all the reasons that it's not a good idea is just this part of our brain that's trying to protect us from really bad stuff that will probably never happen, you know? And the only way to really, really, really know this and be able to

to live in the unknown and trust with all of ourselves is to actually experience it. You can't listen to this podcast or read a book or go to a class or listen to me and Barb talk about it and just be like, okay, I got it. You've got to like go, go wear it, go, go, go live it. Like take the quote chance.

Barb Patterson (45:06)
have.

Kristy Halvorsen (45:15)
Like I used to think following my knowing was quote, taking a chance when my brain was like, are you nuts? And now I realize it's not taking a chance. Like it's just living. But in the beginning, like go take the chance, go do the thing, go, go be in love, go, go, you name it, whatever you're being drawn to do. The only way to know this and feel it and let it sink deep into your bones to where it becomes a way of life.

is to have your own experience of it. And so that would be what I would share with people is even if you feel, to me, there's no stages. There's no like little decisions and big decisions. There's just, there's just things I'm drawn to. And there's some stuff that I make up stuff about, which makes it seem like a big decision. And then some stuff it's really clean and I don't have anything on it and doesn't seem like one. But if you're in that space of just trying to try this,

take something that seems like a small decision and just go and go with it. And then do that over and over and over again, and then see what begins to unfold in your life. And that would be the best thing I could tell anyone.

Barb Patterson (46:17)
Yeah.

Yeah, I love that. I think that's right. Everything that you've said, like we just engage, we follow, we see, we, you know, stay open. And you're right. Sometimes those moves feel like they take a lot of courage or, you know, bravery. And other times they just feel really natural. You know, so, ⁓ you know, obviously this book,

Kristy Halvorsen (46:44)
Yeah.

Barb Patterson (46:49)
you know, life has continued to unfold for you since, you know, you ended the book here. And I'm curious, you know, what is the current unfolding for you? Or are there things that you're continuing to see fall away or where life is inviting you to an edge?

Kristy Halvorsen (47:10)
Yeah. Yeah. mean, you know, I, I think I always know I'm up for learning and seeing more always. And I, I feel like anybody that thinks they've made it, like there's a red flag. It's probably not true. So I'm, I'm continually up to seeing more. And I feel like it's not up to me to choose in the way that happens, but you know, I thought I was really, really good at letting go. And the last, you know, this year and especially the last few months.

Barb Patterson (47:21)
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

Kristy Halvorsen (47:40)
have been like a deeper lesson, like a broader lesson and really truly like hands off the wheel. Like I can let go even more. And this is coming from a person that that's thought I've been letting go and letting go and letting go for years. And it's just like, I feel like that's, that's something that I'll be seeing the rest of my life that and giving full permission to continually love.

with everything I've got. And the two of them together have been dancing pretty amazingly. And it's not all been easy. You know, and that's the other thing is it's not all rainbows and butterflies. You know, I think in the book somewhere I say, you know, the tickles of your soul, they're not, they don't all feel like wonderful. Sometimes it feels like dragging a tractor tire through wet cement uphill. Like it's tough. You're like, ⁓ my gosh, I know I have to fill in the blank and this is not going to be easy.

And I feel like that in the last few months, I've had several of those things happen where I know, I know, I know the direction I want to head in. know where I'm being drawn and that's, and it's taking a, and I know before I even set off on the first step that this is going to be another massive letting go. And so, yeah, I think, I think that's the biggest piece for me right now.

Barb Patterson (49:02)
Yeah, that's beautiful. Thank you. And you know, I have loved our conversation and so appreciate everything you've shared. And I just want to give you an opportunity as we get ready to end the conversation and the interview. Is there anything that's present for you that you haven't said you'd like to say?

Kristy Halvorsen (49:23)
I think it's just that, if, if, especially if you feel stuck or like you don't want to do net, you don't know what to do next is just being there, being present and knowing that what's on the other side of whatever you're feeling right now is likely things you can never imagine. No.

And you already have permission to do it. You don't have to get permission from anyone or anything. Like the fact that your knowing, your tickles, your heart is nudging you a direction. That is all the permission you ever need.

Barb Patterson (50:11)
That's beautiful. Thank you so much, Kristi. And for everyone listening, we'll have your book, Perfect Unfolding. We'll have the link directly to that on the show notes, as well as your website, where they can learn more about you. But in the book and today, I so appreciate how generously you've shared yourself. Thank you so much.

Kristy Halvorsen (50:33)
Thank you, Barb, and thanks for the invitation and thanks for so lovingly reading my book and wanting to talk about it.

Barb Patterson (50:40)
Welcome. That was an easy yes.